What About Georgia? Rewrite
by lilbitjrfan8
Summary: The new rewritten version. Dimitri and Rose grew up together, were bestfriends and eventually more until Dimitri leaves to follow his dreams. Five years later Rose heads to LA to work on a singing career of her own, little does she know she's in for a few surprises. Like being forced to work with her ex-best friend. Why did he leave her? What secrets are they hiding? More inside.
1. Prologue

"Rose, you know you're one of the most important people in my life, right?" Dimitri asked, his hand cupping my cheek.

I just nodded, trying not to let the tears start coming. I opened my mouth to speak but he cut me off.

"I will always care about you, but I think we should just be friends. I know I promised we could try but it's not fair to you or to me. You've got school and I'm going to be busy recording, then hopefully touring. We're both going to be really busy and I think it's just best if we go ahead and end it now before we have a chance to mess up our friendship."

"But what if I don't want to end it now? I think we could make it if we tried, plus…" I started before he cut me off again.

"Please, Roza? I think it's for the best," he said, giving me those sad eyes that told me this was just as hard for him as it was for me. I knew then what I had to do. I wrapped my arms around him in a hug, telling myself it would be all right.

"I love you. Always remember that. And I'm so proud of you." I held him for a minute longer before speaking again. "Just promise me two things and I won't fight you on this."

"Anything."

"Don't lose touch and forget us small people back home, and don't go falling for any of those air-headed bimbos or else I'll have to come out there and kick your ass," I teased.

"Like you could." He smiled, pulling away. "I promise. Phone calls all the time and postcards if all else fails, and no bimbos. I have to go now."

"Just one more hug," I told him, not liking the sinking feeling in my stomach. I hugged him hard, as if my life depended on it. For some reason I can't explain, I was terrified. I knew this was the beginning of a major change in our lives and it didn't feel like a good one. Still, I couldn't stand in his way. I knew if I begged him not to go, he wouldn't, but he'd resent me later for it and I could never live with myself if I stopped him from achieving his dreams. As I pulled away I wanted to kiss him, but he did just break up with me, plus I knew if I did I would lose it. Instead I pulled out the traditional Hathaway smirk and teased him, trying to lighten the mood. "Write a song for me!"

"I already have, how many do you want?" he teased back.

"A full album, plus some. You can just call it 'Rose.'"

"I'm on it. Any other requests?" He smirked.

"Let me think about it and I'll let you know," I said, not telling him what I wanted to say. What I should have said. Instead I forced a smile and watched him go tell his family goodbye. I watched him give them all hugs and say something to each one, but I couldn't hear it. I saw him throw Paul up in the air a few times before putting him back beside his momma. Olena started crying and hugged him again. Viktoria had already given Dimitri a hug and told him goodbye so she made her way over to me. I saw the tears building in her eyes, so I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and tucked her into a half-hug. She wrapped her arm around my back.

"It'll be okay. It's not like he's going off to war or anything. It's just LA," I told her half-heartedly.

"I know, it's just that I've never gone longer than a day or two without seeing him, it's going to be hard," she sniffed. I leaned my head against hers.

"I know. But we'll get through it. Plus we can visit him and he can visit us."

"Yeah. You're right. I have no room to be complaining anyways. He's your boyfriend, I'm sure it'll be just as hard if not harder on you than anyone," she said softly, tightening her hold around my back.

"You have no idea," I said softly. About then Dimitri had finished up telling everyone goodbye, so we all huddled back together. I still had my arm wrapped around Vika.

"Take care of my baby sister," Dimitri told me.

"Like that even needed to be said," I said, smiling.

"Hey I'm right here!" Vika pouted, making everyone laugh.

"Vika, don't let Rose get you in too much trouble," he chuckled.

"Hey, I'm not that bad," I laughed. Every head turned towards me with one eyebrow raised as if saying really? "Okay, that's creepy and I'm jealous."

"Rose and Vika will be fine Dimka. Call me when you get there and be safe," Olena said, hugging Dimitri again. He gave everyone a last look before turning away and walking towards the terminal.

"Wait." I shouted before I could stop myself. I ran over to him and hugged him again. A huge part of me wanted to beg him to stay, to tell him I needed him here, but I couldn't. I couldn't crush his dreams like that.

"I know we just technically broke up, but I couldn't let you go without saying I love you. Be safe and call me later. I need to talk to you but not now," I told him with a smile so he wouldn't worry. He furrowed his eyebrows, confused. I used my thumbs to smooth out his forehead, laughing. "It's not bad, I promise."

"I love you too, Roza," he said before he leaned down and kissed me one last time. I wasn't naïve enough to think it meant he changed his mind. I know Dimitri and once he decides on something it takes a lot to change his mind. And even though it broke my heart, I knew it wasn't a forever goodbye; he'd be back or I'd go to him. This time when he let go and walked away I let him. I watched him walk to the terminal. I felt an arm around my shoulders, looked over and saw Yeva.

"That boy sure can be foolish," she said.

"You know, don't you?"

She just looked at me with a smile in her eyes. I turned back towards Dimitri. He looked back and waved one last time before he disappeared through security.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-

That day was five years ago. Little did I know that was a pretty permanent goodbye, considering I haven't seen Dimitri since that day. At least not in person. I got a few calls, but then they stopped too. I haven't talked to Dimitri in five years. But it seems that's about to change.


	2. Chapter 1 Lucky Break

**Hey everyone! Sorry this has taken a bit to be updated, the next few chapters should be updated pretty quick, probably once a week at least for a little while. Thank you all for all of the positivity and encouragement with this new rewrite and thank you for still reading it!**

 **A new thing I will be doing with this story is adding a flashback or two at the beginning of each chapter. They will not necessarily be in chronological order. Sometimes they will skip around depending on present day and which ones pertain to certain chapters. Some flashbacks will be important in showing their relationship and parts of their past, others will be just fluffy fillers. I hope you enjoy them!**

 _Flashback_

 _Rose: Age 6_

 _Dimitri: Age 8_

 _"Who wears pigtails?" exclaimed the older little boy named Reed_ _before reaching out and yanking my hair._

 _"Hey, leave her alone!" another little boy yelled. I looked to see the new kid a few grades above me coming towards me. Reed saw who it was and ran off._

 _"You didn't have to do that. I can take care of myself!" I pouted. He looked surprised._

 _"I was just trying to help," he said. "I didn't think you would get mad."_

 _"Yeah, well, I was just about to make my move. I don't need help. I guess the polite thing would be to say thank you, but I've been told I don't have manners so I'm not going to. Plus I didn't ask for your help," I said, still mad that he got involved._

 _"Well, then I won't say you're welcome," he said smugly._

 _"You have a funny voice."_

 _"And you're rude. I'm from Russia, what's your excuse?" he smarted._

 _"I don't need an excuse. Stan said I was born a brat." I pouted. "Where's Russia?"_

 _"Really far away. It's in Europe. You have to take a plane and cross the ocean."_

 _"You've been on a plane?" I exclaimed. He nodded. "I wanna go on a plane. My mommy and Stan fly on planes all the time but they just stay in 'Merica. What's your name?"_

 _"Dimitri. What's yours?"_

 _"I'm Rose," I said,_ _puffing my chest out. "What grade are you in, 'Mitri?"_

 _"Third. You?"_

 _"First. Want to come swing with me?" I asked._

 _"Sure. I'll push you."_

 _"I don't need you to push me but thank you. See, I_ _can_ _be nice. I bet I can jump farther than you," I said, running off. He followed close behind._

~~~~~~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~~~~/~~

"Hey, why so glum, sugarplum?" Mia asked from the other side of the bar. I raised both my eyebrows and smiled at her expression. She'd been trying to find and use Southern expressions "for my benefit." She was the first friend I made when I came to LA two months ago. I met her at a cafe and she hooked me up with a job there. She works part-time there and part-time bartending at a karaoke bar, so I come in at least once a week to sing and she gives me free drinks.

"I just found out my ex is in town. I doubt I'll ever run into him considering this is such a big city, but it's weird. I haven't seen him in five years and now we're in the same town together," I told her, looking back at my phone. Vika had texted me earlier saying she got a Google alert that Dimitri had flown back to L.A. with his girlfriend, Tasha.

"What happened with you two?" she asked.

"We dated in high school, then when he graduated he decided to move to L.A. to join a band and dumped me. We talked on the phone a couple of times after he left, and he sent a postcard, but that was about it."

"Do you still have his number?"

"I have the one from five years ago but I'm sure he's changed it a few times since then."

"Call him. Meet up with him."

"I can't meet up with him!"

"Why not?"

"Because…I just can't."

"But you obviously still have feelings for him, see what he's up to."

"Yeah, bad idea."

"Then I've got the perfect solution! At least for tonight," she said, excited. I could see the evil gleam in her eye.

"What?" I asked hesitantly.

"First, go up on that stage and sing about it. Release some of those feelings you keep bottled up. Then we're getting you drunk and laid!"

"Yes to the singing and drinking. I'm not going to get drunk though. And hell no to the getting laid. Jesse would not like that very much," I laughed, not really caring what Jesse thought.

"So, who cares? It's not like you're serious! Besides, he's kind of a jerk anyways."

"Yeah, but he makes up for it," I joked, winking at her.

"Ew, you slut!" she laughed.

"Like you're one to talk!" I teased back.

"Well, you know I'm just waiting on Joe Manganiello to wise up and leave Sophia!" she laughed as she poured a shot and put it in front of me.

"Good luck on that. Besides, isn't he kind of old for you?" I smiled. We'd had this argument before.

"Ummm, who cares? He's freaking hot and looks like he could rock my socks!"

"Really? Thought you were waiting on Channing Tatum?"

"Well, I was thinking about it and he and his wife are too adorable. I couldn't do that to them," she laughed.

"But it's okay to homewreck Joe and Sophia?"

"They're not married yet!" she laughed.

"Keep dreaming, Mia."

"No, you know who I would love to hook up with, just for a night?"

"Who?"

"Dimitri Belikov. He looks like he would be amazing in bed!" she laughed. I ignored the pit of jealousy in my stomach and the sinking feeling that came with it.

"He is," I muttered.

"What?" she asked, not able to hear me in the loudness of the bar.

"Oh, I just said yeah, he does look like he would be. Anyway, I'm gonna go sing while no one is up there," I said before walking away. I walked over to the stage and picked up a guitar and sat on a stool.

"Hey everyone, I hope you don't mind me hogging the stage for a few minutes. I'm planning on doing two songs really quick, then it's all y'alls the rest of the night. This first one is an original. I wrote it a few years ago when a good friend of mine left town to follow his dreams."

 _ **These clouds aren't going nowhere, baby  
Rain keeps coming down  
I just thought I'd try to call you, baby  
For you got too far outta town  
And I hope that you get this message that I'm leaving for you  
'Cause I hate that you left without hearing the words that I needed you to**_

 _ **And I hope you find it,  
What you're looking for  
And I hope it's everything you dreamed your life could be  
And so much more**_

 _ **And I hope you're happy, wherever you are  
I wanted you to know that  
And nothing's gonna change that  
And I hope you find it**_

 _ **Am I supposed to hang around and wait forever?  
Last words that I said  
But that was nothing but a broken heart talkin', baby  
You know that wasn't what I meant  
Call me up, let me know that you got this message that I'm leaving for you  
'Cause I hate that you left without hearing the words that I needed you to**_

 _ **And I hope you find it,  
What you're looking for  
And I hope it's everything you dreamed your life could be  
And so much more**_

 _ **And I hope you're happy, wherever you are  
I wanted you to know that  
And nothing's gonna change that  
And I hope you find it  
Whatever it is out there that you were missing here**_

 _ **And I hope you find it,  
What you're looking for  
And I hope it's everything you dreamed your life could be  
And so much more**_

 _ **And I hope you're happy wherever you are  
I wanted you to know that  
And nothing's gonna change that  
No, no, no  
And I hope you find it  
I hope you find it  
Mmm,  
Ooh.**_

"Have you ever had something you really should have told someone, but you didn't, and then it kept haunting you? This is a song about that. There was this guy that I knew and I had something I should have told him the moment I realized it, but I got scared. I didn't want to stop him from chasing his dreams, so I kept it stored inside and I never got the chance to tell him. For me it's too late, but I recommend if you have something that you're holding in, say it before you regret it. Whether it's you love someone or you're happy they're in your life. Whether it's big or small, don't let your fear stop you because the regret is worse than the fear will ever be."

 _ **In a book, in a box, in the closet  
In a line, in a song I once heard  
In a moment on a front porch late one June  
In a breath inside a whisper beneath the moon**_

 _ **There it was at the tips of my fingers  
There it was on the tip of my tongue  
There you were and I had never been that far  
There it was the whole world wrapped inside my arms**_

 _ **And I let it all slip away**_

 _ **What do I do now that you're gone  
No backup plan, no second chance  
And no one else to blame  
All I can hear in the silence that remains  
Are the words I couldn't say**_

 _ **There's a rain that will never stop fallin'  
There's a wall that I tried to take down  
What I should have said just wouldn't pass my lips  
So I held back and now we've come to this**_

 _ **And it's too late now**_

 _ **What do I do now that you're gone  
No backup plan, no second chance  
And no one else to blame  
All I can hear in the silence that remains  
Are the words I couldn't say**_

 _ **I should have found the way to tell you**_ __ _ **  
Now I'm telling is everyone else**_

 _ **What do I do now that you're gone  
No backup plan, no second chance  
And no one else to blame  
All I can hear in the silence that remains  
Are the words I couldn't say**_ __ _ ****_

 _ **What do I do now that you're gone  
No backup plan, no second chance  
And no one else to blame  
All I can hear in the silence that remains  
Are the words I couldn't say**_

 _ **What do I do now that you're gone  
No backup plan, no second chance  
And no one else to blame  
All I can hear in the silence that remains  
Are the words I couldn't say**_

I walked off the stage and back towards the bar. I didn't really want to face Mia after her comments, but I knew she didn't know the effect it would have on me. When I got close to the bar I saw this semi-cute guy talking to Mia. She walked over and out from behind the bar and hugged me.

"Want to talk about it?" she asked, and I just shook my head. She smiled. "Well, I've got just the thing to cheer you up!"

"Here she is," she said to the guy at the bar before going back behind it. When I got to him, he held his hand out to me.

"Eddie Castile, I'm an A&R rep from a record company and I think you would be a great fit with us. I've heard about you through the grapevine and I was hoping I'd catch you here tonight."

"How do I know that you really are from a record label and not just trying to swindle me for my number?"

"No offense, but I'm not really interested in you like that. If you want you can Google my name, it should pull right up. When you do, give me a call and we'll set up a meeting with my boss. She's going to love you. Feel free to bring your friend here, you know for protection," he laughed, handing me a business card before walking away.

"What was that about? What did he mean protection?" I laughed, wondering what I missed.

"Oh, nothing, I just warned him that he better be for real or else I'd kick his ass," she laughed.

"Thanks. What are you? My bodyguard?"

"You know it!" she laughed before walking off to go take care of a customer. While she was gone I Googled Eddie and he was right, it popped right up.

"Mia, he's legit!" I told her when she came back.

"That's so exciting," she squealed. She grabbed two shot glasses and filled them both up with tequila. She passed me one and grabbed the other. "We have to celebrate!"

"Should you be drinking while working?" I asked with a smile, knowing she'd do it anyways. She just shrugged and held her shot glass up.

"To my beautiful and talented friend, who better introduce me to Joe when she meets him on the red carpet!" she laughed. We clinked and I took the shot, knowing that was the last thing I was going to drink tonight. After we took the shots she had to go take care of some more customers. It was almost 12:30, so it started to get pretty busy and I knew she wouldn't be back for a while. I looked down at my phone. I thought about what Mia had said earlier. I wondered if Dimitri still had the same number. Should I call him? Would he even answer? Would he want to know I was in the same town? I felt the tequila warming my veins and even though I wasn't drunk the alcohol made me bolder than I usually would be. I walked behind the bar and through the back door into the alleyway. I quickly hit the call button before I lost my courage. It rang a few times before going to voicemail.

"Hey Dimitri…I don't even know if this is still your number but I thought I'd give it a shot…It's Rose by the way, in case you couldn't tell. I'm in L.A. Vika called me and said you just came back here …It's kind of weird thinking we're in the same city again…anyways I don't know what you're up to anymore but I thought I'd call just to say hi. I hope you're doing all right."

I heard the beep and the female voice asking if I wanted to keep, delete, or re-record my voicemail. I quickly hit the delete button and hung up losing all courage and walking back into the bar.

 **Songs used:**

 **I Hope You Find It- Miley Cyrus**

 **Words I Couldn't Say- Leighton Meester**


	3. Chapter 2 Crushed By A Russian

**I told y'all they would start coming sooner! A big thank you to everyone who has stuck with me and plans to keep reading and any new readers I might have! Also a HUGE thank you to**

 **Shadows-Kiss-The-Weak for all her wonderful BETA skills and DO'B for all her help with plot and ideas.**

 **Flashback (Rose is eleven, Dimitri is 13, middle school PE):**

"Just face it, Rose, girls aren't as good at sports as boys are," Dimitri said smugly. Standing in the off to the side of the softball field. We had just split into teams and of course Dimitri and I ended up on opposite sides.

"Wanna bet?" I asked. "I bet I can score more runs than you!"

"Oh yeah? I bet not only will my team win, I will strike you out!" he said conceitedly.

A few innings later, I had only had one at bat and I had only gotten on first. We were tied 3-3 and it was my turn to hit again.

"Hey, Rose, maybe you should stick to dance classes with Lissa and Vika!" Dimitri yelled from the pitcher's mound.

"Hey, why don't you just throw the ball?" I replied, standing in the box. "Make it a good one, unless you're scared I'll hit it."

He threw one on the inside just a few inches away from my knees. I didn't swing, just watched it pass. I didn't even flinch. I knew Dimitri would never hit me on purpose. I really doubted he would hit me on accident either, that just wasn't like him.

"Trying to hit me, Belikov?" I smirked. "Do I scare you that much?"

"You wish. I just wanted to make sure you're ready." He smiled innocently, catching the ball when the catcher threw it back to him.

"Will y'all two quit flirting and just play! I'm ready to come home," yelled Aaron from second base.

"EW!" I half-yelled, half-squealed, laughing and getting back into a complete batter's stance. "Don't be gross, Aaron."

Dimitri threw the ball right down the middle. I swung, it made contact and I saw it head straight towards the fence. I dropped the bat and took off towards first. As I rounded the base, I saw that Lissa had just gotten to the ball. I knew she hated softball and sucked at it, so I kept going. I saw the coach on third tell me to keep going so I headed towards him. By then the ball had made it to the infield, but whoever had tried to throw it to Dimitri had missed, so he was running after it. Normally I would have stayed on third and not chanced it, but I wanted to show up Dimitri so I took off towards home plate. I was halfway there when Dimitri started my way with the ball. I could see we would make it to the plate at about the same time, so when I got close to the plate I lunged forward. My mistake was that he also lunged and we collided. He had come at me from the side so I twisted around to try and touch the plate. Somehow that ended with him half on top of me with me on my back and my hand on the plate.

"Am I safe?" I asked, looking at Mr. Croft, our coach/temporary umpire.

"No, Rosemarie, you are out," he scoffed.

"Damn!" I muttered. I looked at Dimitri who was still on me. We were both out of breath and not too eager to move just yet. He looked at me and when we made eye contact I busted out laughing. When he saw me laughing he started too as he stood up. He reached out to help me up. As I stood up I felt a sharp pain that I hadn't noticed before.

"Ow," I groaned, leaning on Dimitri to get the weight off of my right ankle. He gently lowered me to the ground as the coach came from behind home plate where he'd been standing. I leaned back on my hands with my right foot stretched out and my left knee bent.

"I think it's broken," I said, looking down at it. Coach pushed on it and I gasped a little.

"I think it might be broken," he said.

"No shit, Sherlock," I grimaced as he kept pressing, causing pain to shoot up.

"Language, Rosemarie," he reprimanded.

"Well, I'm not exactly sunshine and rainbows right now!" I said irritably.

"Are you ever?" Dimitri laughed.

"Hey, jerk! This is your fault!" I said, frustrated, as Mr. Croft and Dimitri both put their hands out to help me up.

"My fault? You're the one who ran when you shouldn't have," he retorted as Croft let me go and I leaned on Dimitri.

"I took a chance and guess what? I still got Aaron in which means we won!" I gloated.

"Dimitri take her to your mom's office and she can take you to get X-rays when school gets out, since the final bell is in twenty minutes anyway," Mr. Croft said, knowing it was pointless to call my mom to take me. Dimitri's mom was the nurse so I could get ice and wrap it in there until she could take me to the ER. He looked at the rest of the crowd that had gathered around, "Game's over, go get changed and wait in the gymnasium."

"Come on, I'll carry you," Dimitri said to me.

"Hell, no. I can walk."

"Do you want help?" Mason said, coming up to us.

"No. I can walk by myself!" I said stubbornly. Mason laughed and walked away. I curled my arm up Dimitri's back so my hand was on his shoulder and took a step forward with my injured foot. It hurt, but I tried to keep a straight face and took another step, this time with my good foot so I had to almost hop. I did this a few more times before Dimitri spoke up.

"At this rate we'll get there by Christmas."

"Shut up!" I said before crying out as my ankle buckled underneath me.

"Oh, this is ridiculous," he muttered as he reached and grabbed the back of my knees, cradling me.

"Oh, this is just great! Now I look helpless!"

"You are helpless right now," he laughed. I just sulked. Luckily at thirteen he was pretty big and could carry me. He was only a few inches taller than me but that was because I was in the middle of a growth spurt and he hadn't hit his yet. Plus I was only eleven.

"It's not my fault I was crushed by a giant!" I defended.

"I'm not a giant," he laughed.

"I'm glad my pain amuses you," I said sharply, mad that I was hurt, that he was carrying me, and that everyone could see.

"I'm sorry, Roza. Maybe next time you won't try to steal on me." He laughed again.

"We still won!" I argued, pouting. By then we had reached the outside of Olena's office. He walked in and Olena didn't look up before speaking.

"Let me finish typing this email, have a seat. What did you two do this time?" she said as she kept typing her back towards us. Dimitri set me on the table for sick and injured kids.

"A great big giant Russian oaf tackled me and broke my ankle!" I said, frustrated. Truthfully, my ankle was killing me. "How did you know who it was?"

"I heard you from down the hall," she chuckled, turning around. When she saw us her eyes widened and she started laughing. "Well, you two look like a downright mess!"

I looked up at Dimitri and realized he was almost covered in dirt with his hair going crazy. It wasn't long enough to go into a ponytail, but was about to the bottom of his ears. I looked down at myself and saw I wasn't much better. As I looked down, a stray hair fell down and I pulled it back behind my ears. I just shrugged and smiled.

"Dimitri, why did you tackle Roza?" she asked as she gently pulled my tennis shoe and sock off. I winced but didn't say anything. "And grab me some ice while you talk."

"We were playing softball and she tried to steal. She dove as I dove and we crashed. It's her fault for trying to steal."

"It wasn't my fault!" I exclaimed, yelping as she pressed on the spot with the most swelling. I gripped the table hard. By now Dimitri had gotten the ice and a splint. He made his way back over to me and grabbed my hand. He squeezed it gently, letting me know I could squeeze his hand without saying anything. I tightened my grip on his hand as she pressed again.

"Well it definitely looks like a severe sprain or a break. I'm going to put it in a splint and put ice on it. When the bell rings, I'll take you to the ER and we'll go get X-rays."

As she put the splint on, the pain got worse, so I squeezed Dimitri's hand harder. I leaned into him but didn't make a sound. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and half-sat beside me on the table.

"Sorry I broke your ankle. I shouldn't have tackled you," he said softly.

"Shut up. You would have never heard the end of it if you hadn't," I joked, nudging him with my shoulder. As she finished, I scooted over a little so he could fully sit on the table. I leaned my head on his shoulder, glad he was there with me

 **Present Day:**

"So tell me again why you deleted the voice mail?" Mia asked as we walked towards the building where we were supposed to meet the head of this record label.

"Because like I told you, I don't even know if I would want to see him again! I mean, I would love to get him reconnected with his family, and yes, there are answers I would love to have, but the thing with him and me is over and I really would just like to move on. And it's better to do that without seeing him again," I said, trying to avoid eye contact.

"Yeah, but girl, you need closure. You'll never get over him without finding out the answers to your questions. Plus, you're still in love with him," she said, hitting my hip with hers. I looked up at her and shook my head.

"I'll probably always be in love with him, but it doesn't matter. We're done and that's that."

"Oh girl, you just wait," she said, walking through the door.

"Whatever, can we finish this later?" I asked with a smile, knowing she wouldn't let this go. Strangely enough, even though she hasn't had a serious relationship in three years, she believes in the whole true love romance thing... "Kind of have a meeting that my entire future depends on in like five minutes."

"Oh, you're so dramatic!" she laughed.

"Me? Dramatic? Coming from you?" I smirked before laughing outright. "You took longer to get ready coming to my meeting than I did, and spent the whole time talking about what-if scenarios between you and the A&R guy!"

"Oh, whatever," she said, tossing her hair over her shoulder. I looked around, just about to ask where we should go, when I heard my name being called. I turned and saw Eddie walking towards me.

"Hey, glad we could set up a meeting so soon!" he said, coming over to stand in front of me. He shook my hand in a greeting. "Nice to see you again, Ms…."

"Mia. Nice to see you again also," she said with what she calls her "sexy" smile, tossing her hair yet again before reaching out to shake his hand.

"Mia," he said, looking almost just as infatuated. I softly cleared my throat and he turned towards me again. Then motioned with his arm which way to go before falling in step beside me. "So we're going to start off meeting with Alberta, she's the vice president of the company. She'll go over contracts and stuff with you, and then she's got you scheduled to go into a studio and play a song or two for your producer, should you choose to sign with us. Don't be nervous. Alberta's pretty laid-back, she looks all tough and strict but she's really not. This is going to be pretty informal, she already loves you. I played her a video I took from the other night. But she has to go through the motions of meeting with you and hearing you before you can actually sign on."

"Well, that's a plus. Nice to already be liked before you have to play for someone," I joked. By then we had reached an office. He knocked on the door and then walked right in. He introduced Mia and me to Alberta. She was an older lady with graying sandy colored hair worn in a pixie cut.

"Hi Rose, It's so nice to meet you!" she said, shaking my hand. "I'm definitely a fan of yours."

"Thank you," I said, a little shy. I hadn't expected to have the VP of a record label singing my praises. Mia and I sat down in chairs across from her desk while she sat back down behind her desk and Eddie stood off to the side.

"This meeting is just to discuss contracts and what types we are willing to offer, should you choose to accept. Then we'll go and meet your producer."

"If she accepts," Mia interrupted. I kicked her softly. "Ow."

"No, it's okay," she smiled. "Mia is right. Your producer if you choose to sign with us, which I hope to persuade you to do, to the best of my ability. Now, contract…"

We discussed contracts for about twenty minutes or so and she handed me a few to look over before signing anything. Then she stood up and took us down a hallway to a glass studio. The sound booth had wooden walls but a glass panel so I could see into the studio part, and sitting at the middle of the sound board was the face I had been dreading to find, Dimitri... I knew he still worked in the music business and put out a new record every now and then (I would never have admitted it out loud, but I had every album he'd released in a box in my closet at the apartment) and I knew he was in L.A. because Vika had told me, but it never occurred to me he might work here! I saw him in tabloids a lot with his bimbo-looking Barbie girlfriend, but I usually ignored those.

"We're going to wait in the booth. Go in when you're ready," Alberta said, bringing Eddie along with her. Mia saw my look and stopped to ask me what's wrong.

"Remember the ex that I told you about? Well…it's kind of...Dimitri. And he's kind of in there right now," I told her. His name was almost physically painful to say after so long.

Her jaw dropped and I could see the shriek building in her. One reason I never told her who he really was. "That's him? Your ex is Dimitri Belikov?! Why didn't you tell me that the other night?" she practically shouted, partly excited and partly surprised.

"Can you be any louder?" I whisper-yelled. "Yes, that's the one who abandoned me and his family for fame and bimbos. And I didn't tell you because I really didn't think you'd believe me, plus I didn't want you to act like that!"

"That jerk! To think I wanted to sleep with him!" she exclaimed. That's what I have come to love about her: she automatically always has her friends' backs, even if it was against a huge celebrity that she crushed on. "Well, go in there and blow his mind. He hasn't looked up once from his phone so you have the element of surprise."

"Sure," I said with a half-smile. Honestly, right then I wasn't sure how to feel. My emotions surprised me. There really were no nerves, because all of my other emotions were taking up too much space. I was excited to see him again after all of these years. Once again stunned by his looks…not that that's unusual, he is very attractive…but mostly I felt anger, frustration, and a little bit of hatred. The negative emotions were outweighing the positives ten to one. I wanted to punch him, slap him, kick, bite, scream…anything to cause him as much pain as he'd caused me, but unfortunately I had to act mature…for the most part. That's what surprised me. The anger. I knew why he'd left. I told him to go and I thought after all these years I'd mostly put it behind me, but seeing him again, I felt like I was a seventeen-year-old teenager watching him walk away all over again.

I opened the door, pulled my acoustic/electric guitar out of the case, and went over to the stool. He hadn't looked up once. I saw Mia glaring at Dimitri and gave a little laugh.

"Start whenever you like, we have all day," Dimitri said sarcastically, still not looking up. Instead of replying I just strummed the guitar and started singing, not once looking away from Dimitri.

 **DPOV:**

I was sitting there, waiting on this new artist who had Eddie and Alberta in some huge frenzy. They were saying she was the next big thing or whatever. Truth be told, I wasn't really looking forward to this new artist. I hated working with young girls. They were either overly confident, annoying, seeking attention, or slutty and always trying to hook up with me. I heard the door open and knew it was just Alberta and Eddie, so I didn't look up, just muttered a soft "hey" to them. I was still staring at my phone. Like I had been all morning. Last night I got a phone call from a number I didn't have saved but it was the zip code that threw me. It was from Georgia. There was no voice mail though. I hadn't heard from anyone there in years, so I wasn't sure why anyone would call me now. Could it have been Roza?

I heard somebody clear their throat…it was female and didn't sound like Alberta, so I looked up to see who it was. It was some blonde glaring at me. What was her damn problem? I looked over to the studio and saw a girl bent over, getting a guitar out. _Well, she has a nice ass…that's a plus._ I could see her hair hanging over her face. It was short, probably shoulder-length at max. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she looked a lot like Rose. That was probably also because I had her on my mind from that stupid phone call. I looked back down at my phone, shaking my head, trying to clear it. I was debating on whether or not I should try to call that number back or not when I heard the girl in the studio laugh. I quickly shut her up…I was not going to deal with one of those giggling schoolgirls who annoyed the crap out of me, especially not right now. Then she started singing….

 **"You draw it out like a highway**

 **With every word you'd say"**

That voice sounded familiar…I looked up and my heart stopped. Standing there was the girl I left behind five years ago…Roza. She was staring me down with that pissed-off look of hers and I couldn't blame her. Did she know I worked here? Did she plan this?

 **"Excuses for the answers that you lack**

 **Your mama's still the steady ground**

 **you walk on every day**

 **And your daddy's still the monkey on your back**

 **Did you find all you thought you'd find out in the wild, wild west**

 **You took a little piece of home and you threw away the rest**

Immediately I had a feeling I know who this songs about…who else could it be?

 **You say you're livin' on the edge**

 **and I think you're hangin' from a ledge**

 **Too scared to hold the hand**

 **that wants to help you up**

 **Are you the man you thought you'd be**

 **by the time that you turned 23?**

 **Don't forget boy you're your mama's only son**

 **She's at home and she's been prayin' for ya**

 **So what about Georgia?**

 **I saw your sister yesterday**

 **Paul's eight and on his way**

 **Looking for some shoes that he can fill**

 **He said that he'd be just like you**

 **the coolest guy he ever knew**

 **And he'd find you when**

 **he lost his training wheels**

 **I looked in his big brown eyes**

 **and I saw you again**

 **He's hungry for a life he ain't ready to begin"**

The lyrics hit hard, especially when she mentioned Paul, but I kept my face blank. He wanted to be like me? He barely knew me…I knew that was my fault…I just couldn't face them. He should find a new idol.

 **You say you're livin' on the edge**

 **And I think you're hangin' from a ledge**

 **Too scared to hold the hand**

 **That wants to help you up**

 **Are you the man you thought you'd be**

 **By the time that you turned 23?**

 **Don't forget boy you're your mama's only son**

 **She's at home and she's been prayin' for ya**

 **So what about Georgia?**

 **I guess you didn't realize it'd take you quite this long**

 **To figure out that being free is right where you belong**

 **You say you're livin' on the edge**

 **And I think you're hangin' from a ledge**

 **Too scared to hold the hand**

 **That wants to help you up**

 **HEY! Are you the man you thought you'd be**

 **by the time that you turned 23?**

 **Don't forget boy you're your mama's only son**

 **She's at home and she's been prayin' for ya**

 **So what about Georgia?**

 **What about Georgia? yeah**

 **What about Georgia Georgia? Yeah**

 **What about Georgia?**

"By the way, if he's my producer, I'm out," she said, looking towards Alberta. Even though I knew she was just angry and I couldn't blame her, her song and statement hurt. So what did my dumb ass do? Hurt right back. Before I knew what was happening, my mouth was moving, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.


	4. Chapter 3 Broken Promises

**So funny story, I guess I got so excited that I had two chapters completed that I accidentally uploaded the wrong chapter. So here's the correct chapter. Hopefully you like it!**

 **Rose: Age 13**

 **Dimitri: Age 15** **.**

"Bet you a dollar I can make this goldfish in your mouth from across the room," I teased Dimitri. We were sitting in my living room. Olena was about to come get Dimitri, then I was going to Lissa's house. We were killing time waiting for her to pick him up.

"You're on!" Dimitri laughed. He grabbed a handful himself and ran to the other side of the room. A little while later I had successfully made it twice and him 3 times. This time I threw it a little too hard and it went straight down his throat. He started coughing so I ran over and slapped him on the back. Once he got it dislodged and could breathe regularly I started laughing.

"Oh, you think that's funny?" he asked. "I could have died!"

"Oh, you poor baby!" I teased, pouting my lip out.

"That's it!" he yelled as he ran at me. I quickly took off and ran to the kitchen. I made it to one side of the kitchen table and he was on the other. He acted like he was going to my left so I went right but he quickly changed directions. I made it a foot or two past him before his arm grabbed me from behind. He started tickling me so I started squirming trying to get away. Somehow that led to me on the floor with him on top of me.

"What the fuck is going on in here?"

I jumped and looked in the doorway to find Stan glaring at us. Dimitri quickly jumped up and pulled me up after him.

"We're waiting for Olena to pick him up so we started playing around," I said quickly knowing it's better to be short and to the point with him. I would get yelled at either now or later, no matter what I said.

"I think it's time for him to leave," he said coldly.

"He doesn't have a ride." I could see he was about to get angry so I quickly amended my statement. "We'll wait outside on the porch. I'm supposed to go to Lissa's for dinner."

"Well, I'm home now so you can stay here, can't you, Rosemarie?" he said coldly.

"Yes, Stan," I murmured.

"What was that?" he barked.

"Yes, sir. We'll be outside," I told him as he started to head to the liquor cabinet.

"Come on, let's go before he gets drunk," I whispered, pulling Dimitri outside. We went and sat on the front porch swing that came with the house. My parents hated it but luckily neither one actually had the time or wanted to put forth the effort of taking it down.

"I think I'll just walk home. Thought he was supposed to be out of town all week?"

"He was. Mom's coming home early though so he probably just wanted to be here when she got here. Don't walk. He'll get over it. Olena will be here soon."

"Yeah, but I don't want you to get in more trouble."

"'Mitri you know by now it doesn't matter if you stay or go. I'll be in trouble either way. You staying just prolongs it a little longer."

"Yeah, but I still feel bad."

"Don't I'm just sad I'm missing dinner. Now I'll have to cook something so we probably won't eat tonight," I laughed knowing how bad my cooking skills are.

"I would cook you something but I'm pretty sure I'm not allowed back in the house tonight. I'll call Mama and ask her to bring some black bread for you," he said pulling his phone out. After he called her and told her about Stan coming home early, I decided to change subjects.

"So, your first homecoming is coming up. You excited?"

"Eh, I guess."

"You gonna ask Camille?" I teased.

"Ugh, no!" he laughed.

"But she's been telling everyone how close she is to getting you to," I laughed. "It's pretty gross, she's all like 'Oh Dimitri is just the cutest and we're just meant to be because he's gonna be a big football star and I'm gonna be the head cheerleader, then we'll get married and be together forever!' Ugh, she's got your whole future planned out and she doesn't realize you can barely stand her. She even asked me about it."

"What did you say?" he asked, worried.

"Oh, I told her how you never shut up about her and how secretly you've been crushing on her too, but you don't know how to ask her out so she just needs to keep trying," I said, laughing.

"You didn't! Please tell me you're kidding?"

"You should have seen her face!" I said, laughing even harder.

"You're going to be the death of me!"

"Ooh, death by a cheerleading wannabe stalker! There's worse ways to go!" I teased. He lunged at me as I took off running off the porch and into the yard. "Too slow!"

"You have to tell her you were lying!" he said, running after me.

"Or what?" I taunted him, smiling. "I think y'all would make the cutest babies! Dimitri and Camille sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love then comes…Dimitri!"

Dimitri ran at me and I tried to swerve but he was too fast. He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me down. I twisted and had him on his back for a second or two before he flipped us back over. He started tickling me again.

"Tell her you were lying and I'll stop. Promise you will tell her," he laughed as I squirmed trying to get away.

"Never! It's…too…funny," I gasped out. I heard a honk and he quit tickling me as he glanced to see his mom pulling up.

"You lucked out this time but next time I will get you to tell her!" he threatened but I could tell he only half meant it. I slipped out from under him and ran towards Olena's car.

"Mama Belikova you have the best timing!" I laughed. She climbed out and gave me a hug.

"Do I even want to know?" she chuckled, shaking her head.

"Rose told a girl at school that I have a crush on her and am just too shy to say anything and I don't!" Dimitri complained, climbing into the passenger seat.

"Now Roza, that's not very nice. Why would you get that girls hopes up?"

"Because it was funny," I mumbled, feeling like I was going to get in trouble. "She's such a mean girl but pretends to be super nice when he's around and so I thought it would be funny payback."

"But you know just because she's mean doesn't mean you have to be. You need to be the bigger person. Be the lady."

"Rose doesn't know how to be a lady!" Dimitri said.

"Be quiet!" I said, looking around Olena. When I looked back at her I knew I had to do the right thing. "Fine, I'll tell her. But she's just going to be even more mean!"

"If she tries anything just let me know," Dimitri said.

"I can handle myself!" I retorted, mad at him for thinking I couldn't handle Camille.

"Thank you, Roza. It's always harder to be the better person but in the long run it's more rewarding, I promise. Now here," she said reaching back in the car and pulling out a small container. "I know you're not excited about Stan coming home early but here's some black bread so you don't starve. Sneak it upstairs and maybe he won't find it. I wish I could bring you back to my house."

"It'll be okay. I'll be fine!" I told her smiling more confidently than I felt. I knew I couldn't tell her I was worried about how mad he was going to be finding Dimitri in the house and us playing around. She thought the worst he did was abandon me and make me cook dinner when he was home. "I'll call Dimitri after he passes out to check in. I promise."

"Okay. Please just be careful and if anything happens you call me alright?"

"Yes, ma'am!" I said, hugging her again before turning away as she got in the car. "Talk to you later comrade!"

I stood in front of the porch and sadly waved goodbye to them as they drove away before turning around to face my father.

Later that night:

"How'd it go?" Dimitri asked through the phone. I went over to my mirror and checked my cheek out, there was only a small red mark so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Tears welled up but I refused to let them fall.

"Oh you know, the usual. He yelled and I smarted off so he yelled some more before he passed out and I locked myself in my room," I lied, not telling him the whole story. "Oh, hey, I can't hang out tomorrow, Mom doesn't get back until later so I need to stay here before I piss him off even more."

"So he's passed out now? As in he won't wake up again until the morning?" Dimitri questioned.

"Yeah. Why?" I said hesitantly. All of a sudden I heard a tapping at the window. I quickly shut my phone. "Well, this isn't going to go well," I muttered before opening the window softly, glad my face was still in the shadows. Dimitri was not going to take this well, especially not with his past.

"What are you doing here?" I whisper-yelled at him.

"Checking on you. I knew no matter what happened you'd tell me it was all okay, so I wanted to see for myself. Are you going to let me in?" he said softly.

"What about Olena?"

"Well, she doesn't exactly know I'm here but I think she would approve. Can I come in? It's getting annoying balancing on this branch."

"Oh, duh," I said, forgetting that I was on the second story so he had to climb the tree outside my window. I moved to let him in, not realizing I was putting myself back in the light. "You shouldn't have come. If he finds you there's no telling what he'll say or do."

"What happened to your face, Roza? Thought he just yelled," Dimitri asked, angry.

"It wasn't like that. I smarted off to him so he slapped me. He apologized and I came up here after," I told him, only partially lying.

"Why'd you lie to me on the phone and just now? He didn't apologize, did he? This is not okay, Roza," he said heading towards the door. I put my hand on his arm and pulled to get his attention.

"Please don't. It will only make things worse."

"Then you need to call the police or tell your mom or something. This can't keep happening."

"It won't. I just had a stupid moment where I talked back to him, I know better and I won't do it again. He's never hit me before, he won't do it again."

"That's not the point Rose, you shouldn't have to watch what you say in front of your father in fear of getting hit. That's not okay. If it happened once it will happen again."

"Dimitri, seriously, please just leave it alone. I'm not even that upset about him hitting me. I figured it might happen sooner or later."

"Oh, Roza," he said grabbing me and pulling me into a hug. "Of course you're upset and you should be."

"I'm fine, especially now that you're here," I said softly into his shoulder. The tears from earlier coming back. I had no power to stop them this time. Dimitri felt the tears wetting his shirt so he pulled back and looked at me before pulling me over to the bed. He laid down and pulled me down beside him. I laid my head on his shoulder as he gently started running his hand up and down my back.

"Talk to me, Roza," he said softly.

"Why does my father hate me so much? I just don't get it. I try so hard to not upset him when he's actually around but it's never enough. Why am I not enough?" I asked, crying into his shoulder.

"It's not you, Roza, it has nothing to do with you. He's just an evil man," he said softly.

"I'm just being stupid. Ignore me," I said, feeling like an idiot for crying over that man.

"You're not stupid. At least not right now," he said with a smile. I sat up and playfully slapped his arm.

"Oh, shut it you big dope!" I half-whispered, half-yelled at him before laying back down. "You know I'm smarter than you."

"Oh, yeah? What's 112 times 3?" he teased, knowing I sucked at math and it was his best subject.

"Um, 112 to the third?" I joked.

"No, that is way off!" he laughed.

"Well, maybe I'm not smarter in math but other stuff!" I teased.

"Like what?"

"Well, social skills for one. Sports for another," I told him, knowing that would get to him.

"Oh, whoa whoa whoa, maybe certain sports, yes, but not all sports in general. You can out-dance me any day but I can kick your butt, and I'd like to see you try to tackle a 300-pound linebacker."

"Oh, like you do either! You're on the freshman team, meaning the biggest linebacker you have to tackle is 180 max and that is pushing it. Plus, you're a quarterback. You don't even tackle. You throw a ball. I can do that!"

"Oh, really? Well you know I could still kick your butt," he laughed, letting me win the football argument this once.

"Yeah you could. But you wouldn't because you're a gentleman," I said smugly.

"Even gentlemen have bad days, especially when pushed by annoying middle schoolers!" he teased.

"Well, you see, I happen to know you never would. Because I know the secret to your downfall."

"And what's that?"

"Your mother! All it takes is one phone call and you'd be done for," I smiled at him.

"You would tell a man's mother on him?"

"I don't see any men?" I said, looking around. I put my hand on my brow like I was searching for something, looking around the room. "Where is he?"

"That's it," he said before sitting up and tickling me.

"Dimitri! Stop! I'm gonna wake up Stan," I said laughing. He stopped and looked down at me.

"You better?" he asked sincerely.

"Yeah, I'm good. Takes more than assholes to bring down Rose Hathaway especially when she's got Dimitri Belikov as her best friend," I told him with a smile so he'd know I was serious.

Present Day:

"You're such an ass!" I exclaimed, pissed that he said that to me.

"Yeah, and you're a bitch," he smirked. If this was five years ago I would have laughed and agreed, which is probably what he was counting on.

"Don't you dare, Belikov," I warned.

"Are we missing something here?" Alberta asked.

"I take it you two know each other?" Eddie asked.

"No shit Sherlock, you always that smart?" I smarted off, not looking away from Dimitri.

"Rose! That's a little uncalled for. Eddie isn't the jerk here," Mia said, sticking up for him.

"You're right Eddie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that," I said, looking over at him. Before looking back at Dimitri. "It's just a reflex when jerks are present. It tends to bring out the smartass in me."

"Does that mean the smartass in you ever actually goes away?" Mia asked before Dimitri could open his mouth. That did get me to half-smile.

"Shut up," I told her. Before she could respond Alberta interrupted.

"So obviously you already know each other..."

"Yeah, we have a pretty long history," I told her bitterly.

"Okay. Well, I know you said you're out if he's your producer but all of our other producers are unavailable. I really would love to have you here Rose, you have an incredible voice. I know you and Dimitri seem to have some issues, but he's an awesome producer and I think you two would make some great music…especially with all of these emotions you have," Alberta said.

"If I don't kill him first," I muttered.

"Why don't we give you two a minute to talk it over?" she said, heading out of the room and ushering Mia and Eddie out with her. Before she went through the door she turned to me. "I really hope you at least try it, I see something really special in you."

I didn't let it show but I was really touched by what she said. I stared after her for a moment or two before Dimitri cleared his throat.

"What are you doing here? Did you know I was working here?" he asked.

"Yes, because I have nothing better to do than stalk you and get a meeting with your record label just so I could see you again," I said sarcastically. "Trust me, this was as much of a surprise to me as it was to you."

"You honestly had no idea I worked here?" he asked again as he walked into the studio but stopped at the doors. I was once again getting annoyed.

"No, Dimitri, I had no idea you worked here. I haven't even talked to you in five years, how was I supposed to know where you worked? I knew you were in L.A. because she Vika has you on her Google alerts, but I told her I didn't want to know anything else. To be honest, I was hoping not to run into you while I was here."

"Well, thanks, that makes me feel real good," he smarted off.

"Wow! You did not just say that. Me hoping to not see you while I was in L.A. made you feel bad? Try being ignored for a year and abandoned for five. Imagine how that feels."

"Okay, so you didn't know I work here," he relented. "Well it's good to see you, you look…different. Good, but different. Older."

Without realizing I was doing it I reached up to play with the ends of my newly cut hair, instead of the middle of my back, it now went to the middle of my neck in a long bob. As soon as I realized I was doing it I dropped my hand back to my side.

"Funny how time does that. You know, keeps moving even without you. What do you want me to say, Dimitri? That it's good to see you too? If it's good to see me why is it that the first thing you do is insult me?" I was honestly trying not to cry. I'm not sure if I wanted to because of the anger, hurt or a little bit of both, but I was damned sure not going to let him see me cry. Plus, I hadn't really cried in 4 years and I wasn't going to start again anytime soon.

"You know me, I'm an idiot," he said with a humorless chuckle. I smirked but barely. "The first sentence I hear you say is an insult, so of course my first reaction is to retort right back. Before I even knew what I was saying, my mouth had already started. I have honestly missed you. You've been my best friend since we were kids."

"I was your best friend until you screwed that up. So tell me Dimitri, if you missed me so much, why'd you drop all contact?" He didn't say anything. "My point exactly. Me, I can understand but why'd you do that to your family?

"That doesn't matter right now," he said. He was avoiding the question and it made me curious on what he was hiding.

"Doesn't matter? Really? It doesn't matter…Wow, glad to see your family means so much to you. Do you realize that Viktoria begged me not to come out here because she was so scared I was going to abandon her just like her big brother did? The one who was supposed to protect her from pain, not cause it. " I paused and when he didn't say anything I kept going. "Sonya pretends that she's furious with you but it's mostly just to hide the hurt. Paul idolizes you, wants to be just like you, yet he doesn't understand why you don't want to know him. Olena still talks about you with her face filled with pride yet every time you're mentioned for just a split second you can see pain and worry fill her eyes because she has no idea where her baby boy is and the only information she does get is some stupid tabloid about you and Tasha and your wild escapades and parties. Karolina- "

"That's enough!" he yelled cutting me off.

"What, can't handle hearing the truth? Thought it didn't matter, Dimitri?" I asked, pissed off, but glad I got some emotion from him.

"Why do you care? They're my family, not yours!"

Of course before I even realized I had done it, I walked the distance between us and was standing right in front of him, fighting the urge to slap him.

"We might not be blood, but those people are my family. To tell the truth, right now they're more my family than yours honestly." I said harshly.

"Yeah? And how do you figure that?" he asked rigidly.

"You haven't even talked to them in five years! Where were you at Vika's graduation? Where were you when Karolina had her baby…it was a girl by the way, she named her Zoya. Where were you for all of Paul's birthday parties when he would always wish that his uncle Dimka would come find him if he was good enough? Where were you when Sonya announced that she's pregnant? When Vika got into a bad relationship? Oh, right, you weren't there! I was! I chased the guy away from Vika and she hated me for quite a while because of it. I was there for Vika to cry on when she wondered why her brother would just stop caring about her, why he didn't even seem to love her anymore. I was there for many conversations with Paul on why he was never good enough for his only wish to come true. I plan to keep being there for it all. I'm the one that has been saving up money for the last few months so I can go back home for the birth of the niece you didn't even know about! So don't you dare tell me they are not my family!" I yelled.

"Wow, just because your family sucks didn't mean you should go try and steal mine."

I physically recoiled at that. I saw a hint of regret pass through his eyes real quick but I was too emotional to care. He knew my parents are a touchy subject, yet he still said that. I took a deep breath and fought every urge in my body to keep from hitting him. I set my jaw and crossed my arms.

"You're right, my family does suck. You should know, you were there for half of it, and held me when I cried over it. Luckily for me on my eighteenth birthday, when my parents kicked me out even though I hadn't graduated or anything, I had someone like Olena offer me a place to stay and make sure I didn't go hungry. So maybe I did steal your family, but it wasn't intentional. Plus, it's not like you made it very hard." I told him a lot more calmly than I felt. I turned and went towards the door. "I'll tell Alberta this isn't going to work."

Before I opened the door his voice stopped me.

"Wait. You're right, I am an ass." I stopped and turned towards him. "Look, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Any of that and especially not the part about your parents. Why don't we try this? Just temporarily. We can do a trial run for a bit and if it just absolutely is not working out you're free to leave and I will find someone else to produce you."

"We've been here for less than an hour and have already been at each other's throats twice!" I told him. "How are we supposed to actually work together? Plus, I thought every other producer was busy."

"Like I said, we'll just try it, two weeks and if you still feel like you want to leave you can. I know I've been an ass and haven't showed it very well but, I really have missed you and I would love to work with you. I promise I will try to quit being such an ass and try my hardest to make it up to you for being so horrible today. And if it fails I have some producers that owe me, they just won't be too happy about it."

"Yeah, because your promises mean anything to me."

He winced slightly but I didn't care, it was true. The last two promises he made failed miserably. The first one he broke within a week and the second one wasn't long after.

"Fine. I'll try, but if it doesn't work I'm gone." I told him, instantly regretting it. Guess it's just the masochist in me.

"That's all I'm asking."

"Just to be clear, I'm only doing this because I don't want any other producers mad at me, and I really don't want to try getting a different label because that could take years."

"Understood," he said.

I walked out in the hall where Alberta, Mia, and Eddie were talking, Dimitri followed. When I came out they all turned. Based on the looks on their faces they had at least seen parts, if not all of it. Luckily they couldn't hear it because the studio is soundproof.

"I'll do it on a trial run only. We try it out see if we can make it work without killing each other for two weeks. If at the end of two weeks, I feel like I just can't do it, I get to leave," I told Alberta. I hated to be so demanding, but I wasn't going to be forced to work with him if I didn't want to.

"Perfect! I'll draw up a temporary contract that will let you leave if you choose to. You can come back tomorrow and get started," Alberta said with a smile.

"I still have a job so we'll have to work around my work schedule," I told Dimitri.

"That's fine, just come in tomorrow and let me know your schedule so I can work around it," Dimitri said before Alberta could even open her mouth.

"Okay, well, I guess I will see you tomorrow," Alberta said, giving me a hug before walking back towards her office.

"Well, this will be a fun two weeks, can I watch?" Eddie asked.

"Shut up," I said, hitting his arm. I grabbed Mia and walked back towards the entrance. I turned one last time to look at Dimitri. He was still watching, his face blank. I could see his eyes were swarming with emotions, just couldn't tell which ones. I quickly turned and walked out of the door with Mia right beside me.

"So, Eddie's pretty hot, huh?" she said beside me. I just looked at her before breaking out in laughter. Only she would go through all that and come out making a remark like that.

"I love you," I laughed, putting my arm around her shoulder since she's actually shorter than me. She wrapped her arm around my back and gave me a tight squeeze.

"Of course you do, and who can blame you? Now back to Eddie…"


	5. Chapter 4 To Exes and the Notebook

**Important! I accidentally uploaded this as chapter 3 when it's really chapter 4 so that's why if you're looking at this thinking you've read this before, that's why. So go back and read the new chapter 3.**

 **I really wasn't planning on updating until I uploaded a new chapter in Insta-Fame but, I'm having a few difficulties with that one so I figured I wouldn't punish you all for my block.**

 **I hope you all enjoy it. And thank you as always to my wonderful beta, Shadows-Kiss-The-Weak!**

 **Please leave a review or comment telling me what you think.**

 **Flashback:**

 _"Oh my gosh, Dimitri, do you hear yourself?" I said, frustrated. He had been complaining about how he and his latest girlfriend had broken up and he wasn't sure if it was a good idea. "You were only dating for like a month! If you couldn't make it last that long then I doubt it was true love."_

 _"Who says a month isn't long enough to fall in love?" I gave him a look. "Okay fine then, Miss Know-It-All, how do you know if it's true love?"_

 _"I don't know. You just kind of know." He smirked, thinking I was going to prove him right. "It's got to be that can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, world series kind of love."_

 _"Quoting Mary-Kate and Ashley now? Wow, you really are a genius!" he said sarcastically. I did get that off of one of my favorite movies as a kid. Vika and I used to watch it all the time and force Dimitri to watch it with us. I was hoping he wouldn't catch that._

 _"Okay, fine, you caught me, but that is a great analogy. I don't know, first of all you have to actually get along at least some of the time and agree on more than just how pretty you both are," I joked. It was no secret that Dimitri and Julie did not get along at all, they had nothing in common and were always fighting. I mean Dimitri and I fought all the time but we also got along most of the time and had things in common. Dimitri and Julie did not. "Well, put it this way. Who would you want beside you no matter what, through the good and bad? If all your dreams came true who would you want by your side? That's how I would decide if it's really love."_

 _"Not bad, Hathaway. Who knew you were such a romantic?" he joked._

 _"Shut up," I laughed. "Don't you have to go get ready for the big game?"_

 _"Oh yeah! See you later," he said, running out the door._

 _Later that night_

 _I was standing on the side of the football field with Mason and the cheerleaders. My other best friend, Lissa, was the cheer captain so Mase and I got to sneak on the field whenever we wanted. Julie, Dimitri's ex and another cheerleader, hated that because she hated me, but she never said anything._

 _"So have you told Dimitri yet?" Lissa asked._

 _"Told him what?" I asked._

 _"That you love him of course!"_

 _"Lissa! Be quiet and no."_

 _"Oh, girl, you need to hurry up and tell him so he can get his head out of his hiney and realize he loves you too!"_

 _"As if," I said laughing at her absurdity and the fact she refused to cuss, instead using words like hiney._

 _"You may not see it, and he certainly hasn't yet, but that boy is head over heels for you! Why do you think him and Julie didn't work out? Half of their fights were over you!"_

 _"What? He never told me that!" I said, shocked._

 _"Yeah, she was pissed because you and he are so close, and she said he needed to quit hanging out with you if he was going to be with her."_

 _"Whatever, I don't believe that I was the reason they broke up. Anyway, don't you need to go line up?"_

 _"Oh yeah, see you later!" she said, rushing over to the rest of the cheerleaders and then heading out towards the field. Mason and I went back to our seats in the student section with Vika._

 _Halfway into the game it started pouring. Luckily, I had stolen Dimitri's letterman jacket earlier in the day, because I had forgotten mine in my rush to get out of the house, so it wasn't so bad at first. Three quarters of the way in, it started lightning, so the game was postponed for 30 minutes, but now we were back in the stands and the game was about to resume. It was still pouring, but the lightning was gone so they decided we could still play._

 _I looked around the stands and started to laugh. There were maybe 15 students still left in the student section, most of the visiting teams fans had left. Their band and cheerleaders were back in their buses. Half of our band and cheerleaders had also left but a few still remained. About a quarter of our fans were still there, the others had probably went to vehicles or restaurants to listen to the game on the radio. Babies. It's just a little rain. It didn't help that we were losing. It was 35 to 21 at the start of the fourth quarter and wasn't looking very good._

 _At some point the fifteen of us that were still in the student section decided that we needed to make up for all the fans that had left so we were screaming at the top of our lungs. I knew tomorrow I would most likely not be able to talk, and inwardly laughed at all the jokes I knew Dimitri would make if I lost my voice, but I didn't care. It wasn't every day your school made it to the state championship. It was like there was a buzz in the air that just made you laugh and scream and cheer and jump up and down._

 _With a minute to go, we were tied, so whoever scored next pretty much won. They had the ball, but our defense quickly got it back. The entire audience—well, what was left—started cheering, but I couldn't hear them. I knew I was screaming with them, but I couldn't hear it. The only thing I could hear was my heart pounding in my ears going boom…boom…boom. Time seemed to slow and I even forgot it was raining. Boom. They hiked the ball. Boom. Aaron saw Dimitri ten yards away from the end zone and threw the ball. Boom. Dimitri jumped up. Boom…boom. He caught it! Boom…boom. Just five more to go. Then three. Now just one more yard and we win. Boom. He was tackled right at the line. Did the ball make it? Everything seemed to freeze as we watched the referee. Slowly he raised his hands. Touchdown! Everything seemed to come rushing back right then. I heard the stands erupt, felt the cold of the rain again, and watched as the team jumped and cheered and clamored into a big cheering mass. I squealed before turning and hugging Mason and Viktoria._

 _"Go find him, he'll be happy to see you. I'll catch up." Vika yelled in my ear over the fans. I smiled at her before rushing into the mob of students and families on the field. At first I couldn't find him anywhere, one of the problems with being short. It didn't help that it was still pouring. Then I heard my name being called behind me. I turned and found Dimitri about ten feet away. Somehow he had already stripped out of his jersey and shoulder pads and was just in his tight Under Armour sleeveless shirt that he wore under his shoulder pads. I ran and jumped on him, hugging him. He caught me as I wrapped my legs around him._

 _"It's you," Dimitri said in my ear as I was hugging him. I pulled away but stayed._

 _"What?" I asked confused._

 _"It's you. You're the one I want with me when all of my dreams come true, through the good and bad. It's you."_

 _"Are you sure?" I asked hesitantly. I made to get down but he grabbed me tighter._

 _"I've known it for a while but didn't want to admit it. I love you Roza," he said smiling._

 _"About time, I love you too, comrade." He leaned in to kiss me but I stopped him. "Are we really going to be that cliché? Confessing our love and kissing in the pouring rain right after the big game?"_

 _"I think this time we are," Dimitri laughed._

 _About then a voice piped up beside us. "So kiss already!"_

 _We turned and saw Vika standing there laughing._

 _"You two and that damn movie!" Dimitri chuckled._

 _"Well are you going to kiss me already?" I laughed. He leaned down and kissed me. It felt so right and so perfect. Well, perfect, until I heard Viktoria beside us._

 _"Okay, you can stop now…I said kiss, not make out…this is gross…"_

 _Dimitri broke the kiss long enough to tell Vika to shut up or go away. Sooner or later we did stop kissing, about the time Olena and his Sonya found us. Karolina had left to get Paul out of the rain. The rest of the night was spent laughing and taking pictures and just hanging out._

 **Present day:**

Later, Mia and I were at Mia's apartment. We were having a girls' night, like we often did. She had just ordered our food and we were sitting on the couch talking.

"So, are we going to keep avoiding this conversation? We can avoid it all night, but I just have one question and I need you to be completely honest with me," she said, looking at me, as serious as I had ever seen her.

"What?" I sighed, knowing this was inevitable.

"The sex was amazing, wasn't it?" I gave her a look. "What? You heard me the other night say he was one of my fantasies, and you have firsthand experience! Plus, I saw all that chemistry when you were ripping him a new one. It was the hot, passionate, mega-intense kind of sex wasn't it?"

"We were in high school!" I told her, laughing. "Who says we even had sex?"

"Oh, come on, emotions don't run that deep and chemistry isn't that intense without sex. Come on, I'm dying to know!" she laughed.

"Ugh, fine! It was by the far the best I've ever had," I laughed in disbelief that I was telling her this.

"And how much experience do you have?" I raised an eyebrow at her. "What? I need to know if he's the only one, then you have nothing to compare it to so that's a moot point."

"No he's not the only one. There have been…a few since him."

"Since him? As in he was your first?" I nodded. "No wonder your emotions are so intense. So he was your first and you still say he was the best? Yes, I knew it! He is amazing in bed. Damn, too bad he's an asshole. Although assholes usually are the best in bed."

"Really?" I asked, laughing at her. "How are assholes the best in bed? Nope, never mind, I do not want to know!"

"Okay, so I know I said we could keep avoiding it but you have to give me some details."

"Not much to tell. Girl meets boy, they become friends, eventually start dating, boy moves away and never looks back," I said, not wanting to get into it.

"Well, how long have you known each other? How did you meet? When did you start dating?"

"Whoa, slow down," I laughed. "We met when I was in first grade and he was in third. We were in recess and one of the older boys was trying to pick on me, Dimitri came and made the boy back off only for me to get mad at him for saving me. We started dating his senior year and he left a few months after he graduated to join the band. Didn't hear from him again until today," I said, omitting the half-assed post card he sent and the one or two phone calls.

"What took you two so long to get together?" she asked, sounding shocked.

"Well, I knew I loved him long before we got together but didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. Finally I got tired of hearing his complaints and kind of gave him an ultimatum telling him to decide who he wanted and go for it. That night we got together," I smiled at the memory. That was the night he won the football state championship game.

"Tell me about it!" Mia said, excited. I told her about the fight, the game, and him confessing his love after they won.

"Oh, barf! That sounds too incredibly cliché to be true!" she laughed.

"I know, I thought so too, but it's actually how it happened. But even though that day was a fairytale, the ending definitely was not."

"But the question is was it worth it?" Mia asked. "From the sounds of just your beginning, it seems you probably had an amazing relationship."

"Don't get fantasies in your head. We still fought a lot. You know in .The Notebook how it shows them arguing all the time? That was us, minus the Nicholas Sparks ending"

"Hey, you don't know that. Even Noah and Allie spent years apart," she smirked.

"Trust me." About then I was saved by the doorbell.

"Oh, there's the food!" Mia said, getting up and heading to the door. While she was gone, I pondered her question. Was it worth it? Would I do it all over again? That amazing night in the rain, which led to a horrible sore throat and severe cold, by the way. All the other amazing nights. The fights we had. Him leaving. Seeing him in the magazine with Tasha. That horrible night. I really wanted to say yes, it was all completely worth it, but I wasn't sure anymore. That night almost killed me, and I don't know if a few month of happiness was worth that pain, mentally and physically. Then the depression after…was it worth it all? Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. I didn't think I would have an answer to that question anytime soon.

Mia came back and put the pizza on the coffee table in front of us, opening the box and grabbing a slice before turning back to me.

"So what makes you so sure you're through for good?"

"Well, for one, he hasn't had any contact with me since right after he left, pretty sure that doesn't say lasting love."

"Noah wrote to Allie but she never received the letters, maybe something similar happened."

"My life is not The Notebook! If for whatever reason he decided to write me letters like we were in ancient times, after breaking up with me when he left, he would have sent them to his mother's house and there is no way she would have kept them from me. She was just as mad at him as I was, if not more."

"Okay, so what if he actually has a really great reason for no contact and comes back begging your forgiveness? I mean, right now I can't think of any good reason, but he's a guy, I'm sure he can find one."

"It doesn't matter. We were in the past. A lot has happened since then, I've changed and so has he. We aren't the same people we were before. There's no going back."

"Me think the lady doth protest too much!"

"No, I'm just a realist. I don't know if he ever miraculously decided to apologies and beg for forgiveness and I accepted it and we could let bygones be bygones, if I could ever trust him again anyways."

"Okay, so what's the plan now?"

"The plan for now is to figure out why he disappeared and try to get him to reconnect with his family. In the meantime. I'm going to attempt to make an album and not let him see that I'm affected by him at all."

"Good luck with that," she snorted. I glared at her. she raised her wine glass in an attempt to toast. "To asshole ex-boyfriends and The Notebook!"

"Hear, hear!" I said, laughing and clinking my glass to hers.

That night, I had nightmares of football, rain, and pain, crying, glass shattering, blood, and Dimitri walking away.


	6. Chapter 5 New Looks and Crazy Ex's

**Ok. So I'm a horrible person I'm so sorry. I got sick over Christmas break and just didn't feel like doing anything. On the plus side the next three chapters are already done. I'm going to start trying to update every other week, I would say weekly but I'm scared I'll use all the chapters and then get stuck again so it'll most likely be every other week.**

 **Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me and my stories. I promise I'm working at getting better for y'all.**

 **This chapter is half new stuff and half old stuff, sorry to anyone who has read the previous version. The next few chapters are going to be a bunch of repeats but I promise it will change up soon. I definitely forgot that I wanted to add in chapters of Rose when she first got to LA, like when she met Jesse and met Mia but I got too excited to get to the new stuff that's coming up. Oh well. I might add them in later as flashbacks or something. Remember the flashbacks aren't always in order. They are going to switch up between ages. It's usually either relevant to the chapter at hand or just going to be fluff. Sorry.**

 _ **Beginning of Rose's freshman year, Dimitri's a junior:**_

" _Just face it Rose. Everyone knows your pathetic and Dimitri only keeps you around because he feels sorry for you," Camille taunted, standing in the middle of the doorway._

 _"Yes that's why," I laughed. "Funny how you're so tough when Dimitri isn't here. What scared he'll dump you when he finds out what a bitch you are?"_

 _"Dimitri loves me and soon I'll convince him to drop you like the trash you are," she said crossing her arms. I laughed again._

 _"Yes that's what it is. He loves you. Newsflash Cruella, you're just the latest flavor and soon he'll be done with you, just like the rest. So I'd start preparing now. and for your information, I'm not going anywhere so learn to live with it," I told her before pushing past her and heading to my next class._

 _On my way to lunch I heard Dimitri hollering for me so I stopped to let him catch up. When I turned to look at him I knew he was pissed._

 _"If you say one thing to defend her-"_

 _"You'll what?" he cut me off reaching me. "Why do you have to taunt her and say things like that?"_

 _"Why do I taunt her? What about the fact she started it?" I asked getting mad he was trying to defend her._

 _"Yea I know you and her haven't always gotten along but she's not that bad once you get to know her."_

 _"Oh please Dimitri she's horrible and you know it. She acts like little miss innocent around you but it's all an act and you know it."_

 _"I'm just saying she is my girlfriend can you go easy on her?"_

 _"No! she doesn't go 'nice' on me. She's a stuck up two-faced bitch and I can't believe you're standing here defending her!" I said angrily._

 _"That seems a little harsh."_

 _"No, what's harsh is her attacking me then when I say something back whining to you about it. Then you coming over here yelling at me. If she's gonna go tattle did she at least tell you the things she said?" I asked crossing my arms. He didn't say anything. "No? Exactly my point."_

 _"Fine what'd she say that was so bad?" he countered._

 _"You know it doesn't even matter because right now she got exactly what she wanted. Until you can learn not to be a big headed ass don't talk to me. You can apologize to me later when you realize how stupid you are right now," I told him before storming off. I was pissed he immediately jumped to her defense when he knew she'd always been a horrible person to me. I know later he'd realize what an ass he was being and would come apologize. That's how we've always worked but it didn't help me from being pissed right now._

 _I got to the cafeteria and saw Lissa at our normal table. I quickly got food and joined her and Mason, who had come over while I was in line. They let me sit there and seeth for a few minutes not probing just talking between themselves. I looked up and saw Dimitri come in and hug Camille. She looked over at me and smirked when Dimitri wasn't looking._

 _"Bitch," I muttered._

 _"Just ignore her Rose," Lissa said. Aaron came over and sat beside her wrapping an arm around her shoulders._

 _"Ugh! I can't stand that girl," Aaron said fake shivering. "I have no idea why Dimitri puts up with her."_

 _"Because she's hot," I told him honestly. I love my best friend and he's a great guy but he's horrible with relationships. "and he's an asshole."_

 _"Oh Rose, What'd he do this time?" Aaron asked._

 _"When I was leaving second period she blocked my path and started being her usual bitchy self. She started saying how I'm pathetic and she's going to get Dimitri to drop me which I laughed off because that's absurd. So I told her to start preparing for the breakup because we all know Dimitri doesn't date for very long. Then she goes back to Dimitri telling him her side and he actually had the gall to get on to ME and tell ME to start being nicer to her. So I called him a big headed ass and told him he can apologize to me later."_

 _"Oh that's harsh. Poor Dimitri," Said Mason shaking his head._

 _"Poor Dimitri?" about to get mad at Mason for sticking up for Dimitri._

 _"Yea because you're going to give him hell when he tries to apologize. I know you and you're going to make him pay."_

 _"Maybe," I smirked. "Just a little. But he deserves it."_

 _"Oh boy. At least make sure he's wearing a cup if you go for his…southern region again," Lissa said laughing. At that we all laughed._

 _"Hey, that was an accident."_

 _"You kicked the guy in the balls!" Aaron laughed. I shrugged my shoulders and smirked._

 _"He shouldn't have egged me on then!" I laughed. I looked up and saw Dimitri looking up at us with his eyebrow raised. Instead of acknowledging him I turned and faced Lissa making it obvious I was turning away from him._

 _"Ok Boys. We need girl time so go over there with your guy friends," Lissa told them making a shooing gesture with her hands._

 _"Do we have to?" Mason whined. "The she devil is over there!"_

 _"Oh man up Mason. If I can handle her so can you," I teased._

 _"Sorry Rosie but you're not a normal person."_

 _"Call me that again and you're going to need a cup. And I'm going to assume by saying that you're saying I'm really just more badass than you'll ever be."_

 _"Yep that's exactly what I'm saying Rose," he said laughing as he and Aaron stood up. When they left I turned to Lissa._

 _"So what's up?" she raised her eyebrow at me as if saying 'really?'._

 _"Oh come on. It's obvious."_

 _"What's obvious?" I asked._

 _"You are falling for Dimitri," she said proudly. I laughed, loudly._

 _"You are insane! Do I need to go get you a room at the loony bin?" I asked still laughing._

 _"Oh come on Rose. That's why you're really mad at him. That he's dating her and not you."_

 _"Ok Dr. Phil. I'm not interested in Dimitri that way. We're friends and that's it. I'm mad because I'm his best friend and he should trust me before he trusts the she-devil. And he shouldn't yell at me for telling her the truth. But instead of having my back he chose her."_

 _"His girlfriend. It's only right for him to back his girlfriend up. Yes he should have asked you about it before getting mad at you. But if you were dating a guy wouldn't you want him to have your back first?"_

 _"Not if I'm wrong, which would never happen to me of course but this is hypothetical," I defended. She raised her eyebrow at me again. "Quit doing that! And why are you sticking up for them? Shouldn't you have my side on this?"_

 _"I do have your side Rose. I'm just trying to get you to realize whats right in front of you. Plus let you see a little bit of his perspective since we both know you."_

 _"Liss your romantic side is showing. Dimitri and I are friends. Yes I love him but as a friend. That's it."_

 _"Whatever you say but you'll see I'm right eventually even if you don't realize it now. Just think about it. The annoying gnawing in your gut, that's jealousy because he's with her not you." she said getting up. I watched her walk over to the trash cans and dump her tray before walking out of the cafeteria. I laughed again thinking of what she said. There's no way I have feelings for Dimitri. It's absurd. He's my best friend! But if it's so crazy, how'd she know about the gnawing feeling?_

 **Present:**

"I think you need a make over!" Mia said excitedly.

"I think I'm too broke for that and why do I need a makeover?" I asked her. We were walking down the side walk in the middle of LA. We just got done eating and were killing time before going to meet Dimitri for my first recording session. I called Alberta first thing this morning and she immediately wanted me to come in today but Dimitri wasn't free until 5. Luckily I had the day off.

"Because for one you just got a record contract and you need to start thinking about your image. For two what else says screw you to a guy better than changing up your look and looking even hotter than when he had you?"

"I chopped all my hair off, that counts!" I rebutted laughing at her logic.

"Oh I've seen you pinning new hairstyles on pinterest. I know you're dying to dye your hair," she said laughing at her own pun. "Then I think you should pierce your nose with me."

"Oh really? I definitely haven't pinned any of those," I laughed.

"Yea but I want to pierce my lip but I'm too chicken to do it by myself and I think you'd look awesome with a nose piercing. Oh and I'm doing your make up before you go."

"Whats wrong with how I do my make up?" I asked.

"Nothing, you look great but I'm going to make you look sexy casual. Now lets go, our appointments at 12," she said dragging me down the street.

"What appointment?" I asked bewildered.

"With my hair lady. I set it up yesterday and now if you don't go she doesn't get paid and will be upset so you have to go."

"Did you forget I'm broke?"

"That's why I'm paying! Now no more excuses. This is my gift to you for being so awesome and getting a record contract."

Despite all my arguments, three hours later I found myself looking in the mirror at a stranger. Mia and her hairstylist, Aimee, had talked me into a red dip dyed long bob. My hair fell down in small waves about half way between my chin and shoulders and was a rich chocolate brown (really close to my natural brown so you wont be able to see when it grows out as bad) that switched to red at the bottom. I really loved it. Then she insisted to get the piercings but she switched at the last minute and got a bar in her cartilage instead of her lip. When she insisted on paying I decided 'Why the hell not?' I've always wanted my nose pierced anyways. Instead of a regular stud I went with a music note. Mia had done my makeup and went with a slightly dark red lipstick, despite my arguments, and a softer natural eye with top liner. I felt like I was trying to impersonate Kylie Jenner but she wouldn't let me take any of it off. She did let me choose my own outfit so I just went with jeans and a black tank top with a three quarter sleeve black, red and, white flannel over it and converse. I thought I looked hot but also like I was trying too hard to make a point.

"I feel like this was too much," I told her walking down the street. I prefer to walk or take the bus so we always take the bus. It stopped about a quarter mile away from the bar mia works at and a little over three quarters of a mile from the studio. I could have taken a different bus to get closer but I like walking so I just took the same way as Mia. Plus I was nervous about how today was going to go so it was nice to have her company.

"You look hot. Besides just tell him it was a gift from me to you for getting a record contract."

"And the make up?" I asked.

"Umm it looks casual like you just wanted to look cute but were in a hurry so you threw on some lipstick and eyeliner. It does not look like you're trying too hard. Just chill girl. His jaw is going to hit the floor when he sees you."

"I don't care about impressing him."

"Maybe not but it also shows how the girl he knew is gone and the new you is here and not going to take his shit." I laughed at her then. By now we'd reached the street the bar was on so we both stopped to part ways. "just go in there and act like you're hot shit and give him hell."

"Well that's usually my plan," I joked laughing at her. I loved that she was always great at making me laugh even when I didn't want to. We said our goodbyes, hugged and walked our separate ways. Halfway to the studio my phone started ringing, it was Vika so I picked it up.

"Hey, I can't talk long. I'm about to go into my first recording session," I told her smiling.

"Yay!" she laughed into the phone. "Did you get to meet your producer yesterday?"

"Yes," I grumbled not wanting to tell her who it was.

"Why do you sound like someone just ran over your dog?"

"I don't have a dog," I smarted off to her.

"You know what I mean. You don't sound happy about it."

"He was just an asshole," I half lied. I didn't want to get her hopes up before I had more information.

"Oh really?" she asked sympathetically.

"Oh yes! Before I left yesterday we had already gotten into an argument. I'm only doing a temporary contract for two weeks and if it doesn't work out we'll figure something else out."

"I'm sorry. He sounds horrible. What did you fight about?"

"Oh nothing important. Oh so I dyed my hair and pierced my nose today," I told her distracting her. I was almost there so I just needed to stall her for a couple of minutes.

"What!" she yelled excited. "Facetime me now!"

I switched it over to facetime. Even though I was broke, Lissa insisted on putting me on her account and paying for an iPhone so we could facetime while I was here.

"Hey," I waved with a smile nervous about how she'd react.

"Wow! You look gorgeous Roza. Thought you were broke?" she asked.

"Mia insisted on a makeover as a congratulatory gift for getting a record deal. Do you think it's too much?"

"Is that red tips?" she asked. I brought the phone over to show my hair better. "That's awesome and I'm jealous!"

"Glad you like it," I laughed. I looked at the clock and saw it was time for my session and that I was outside of the studio. "Hey I have to go, I'm here. Call me back tomorrow though?"

"Definitely. And if you're producer has any kind of sense he's going to take one look at you and completely change his assholish ways."

"Assholish?" I laughed.

"Yes. He's going to dislocate his jaw because it's going to drop so far and so fast!" she laughed.

"Oh whatever. You don't even know him. He could be old and married!"

"He's still got eyes!" she countered.

"Whatever. Bye. Love you and tell everyone I said hi and I love them.

"Will do, love you too and have a good session!" she said before ending the call. I slipped my phone in my back pocket and headed towards the glass doors bracing myself for what was to come.

"Woah Rose! You look…different," Eddie said stopping in the middle of the hallway.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" I asked laughing.

"Good…definitely good…you look…hot. Sorry but it's true." He laughed.

"Thanks, it was Mia's gift to me for getting a record deal. She said I need to find my look," I joked.

"Well I think you found one. Where's Mia today?" He asked.

"She had to work. I'll try to drag her with me next time she's off," I said before winking at him. His jaw dropped.

"That obvious?"

"Yea pretty much. But don't tell her I told you, it's mutual," I told him fake whispering the last part. "You should ask her out."

"Maybe…I should get back to work. Hope you have a good session. And I really hope Dimitris head doesn't explode when you walk in the room."

"I seriously doubt he'll even notice," I told him laughing it off trying not to think too much about Dimitri's reactions.

"He'll notice. I guarantee that. I halfway want to follow you in there so I can tell you I told you so."

"Who cares if he notices I changed my hair? It's not like I did it for him!" I defended.

"Woah! I was just making an observation. Dimitri is different around you and it's kind of cool to watch."

"What do you mean?"

"Here walk with me. I think Dimitri is running late anyways so we can walk and talk and I can show you around a little," he said pointing across the big lobby down a wide hallway. I started walking and he quickly got in beside me. "I haven't seen that much emotion from him since I met him a few months ago. Like seriously I can count on one hand how many times I've seen him get mad or even smile in the almost year I've known him. The most I've seen is when he gets irritated with Adrian and that's not even that noticeable."

"Ha!" I laughed. "He's pretty much always been like that since we were kids. Unless he was close with someone he was pretty stoic. I always told him he'd make a great body guard. I would say if you got to know him you'd see he actually has an awesome personality but, I don't know him anymore so for all I know he doesn't anymore."

"But with you, he was…intense. Even before you started talking. Just when you started singing, you could almost feel the energy in him change, even if he didn't notice it. It's going to be really interesting watching you two work together. hold on you've known each other since you were kids? I thought maybe you were just an ex from here in LA."

"I wouldn't get your hopes up too much. We are going to be civil and record some songs. That's it. And yes we grew up together."

"If you say so. What's the story with you guys anyway?" he asked curiously. I sighed, already tired of explaining things but know I'd have a lot more explanations in the future. "It's ok if you don't want to tell me, I was just curious."

"No it's fine. We used date, back in high school. We've know each other since elementary school. He left while I was still in high school and I haven't seen him since until now."

"Oh that's rough. Now I get all the emotions from the other day. I'm sorry," he said sincerely. I knew in that moment we could become great friends. I know that sounds cliché but I really appreciated how he knew I didn't want to talk about it so he didn't pry, didn't ask questions or judge. It was very refreshing.

"Thank you. Now about that tour," I laughed.

Ten minutes later he had shown me the galley, the offices, the game room, and was taking me down the hallway with most of the studios. This was a smaller studio so they only had three and a half actual studios. I say half because one has pretty much been turned into a storage room and was pretty outdated. We were now outside the studio where I was supposed to meet Dimitri.

"So remember when you said you had stuff to do," I joked.

"I told you I wanted to say I told you so. So after you," he laughed. I just shrugged my shoulders and walked forward. As I opened the door I heard "You're late!" being barked at me. I rolled my eyes. I walked all the way in I saw he was sitting in the same chair as yesterday looking at his phone. It kind of felt like déjà vu.

"Eddie here was giving me a tour. He said you were running late so we figured it's be a good time for him to show me around. What crawled up your ass today?" I asked as Eddie looked at me in shock. I guess no one talks to Dimitri like that around here. Oh well.

"Nothing, I just don't like it when artists are…late" as he was talking he had glanced up and paused in the middle of his sentence. "You look different today."

"Thanks captain obvious," I smarted before I could stop myself. I glance over at Eddie and he gave me an 'I told you so' look before waking out the door and shutting it. I turned back towards Dimitri. "And I technically wasn't late. I actually was 5 minutes early."

"Why'd you cut your hair even shorter?" he asked giving me a look.

"Because I felt like it. Mia decided to splurge on hair and nose as a congratulations for the deal. It felt like a good idea to cut my hair so I did."

"But you loved your long hair," he said sounding confused.

"I used to. I cut it a few years ago and it's been about the length you saw it the other day for a while now. If you were around you would have known that," I said before I even knew I was saying it.

"Are we really going to do this again?" he sighed rubbing his face with both hands. A gesture he used to do when he was stressed or tired. I guess some things never change.

"Nope. Lets get started. What first?"

Thirty minutes later and I could see Dimitri wasn't very happy.

"Ok well all of the songs you've played are great and all but they really have no emotion or connections. They're party songs. Is that really what you want an album full of?" Dimitri asked.

"Yes…No…I don't know…." I told him.

"Why don't you know?"

"Well yes I want some fun songs but no I do not want an entire album full of them,"

"Then why is that all you're playing. I know you and you probably have 150 songs better than the ones you've played today. Why are you holding them back?"

"It's not like it's exactly easy!" I said frustrated. I didn't imagine how hard it would be to sing my songs in front of Dimitri.

"Why isn't it?" he pushed.

"Because you're here!" I half-yelled frustrated. "It's not fair that you just so happen to be my producer! If you don't automatically know what my songs are about you can pretty much guess or you'll of course question me until I tell you and it's just annoying."

"Well look at it this way, even if I wasn't your producer you would sing the songs and I would hear them anyways. We're just skipping a step."

"Ok well how am I supposed to sing songs about you, some of your old friends, my current friends, your family, what I've gone through since you left in front of you? That's not exactly easy Dimitri!"

"Pretend I'm not here. If you want you can turn around so you don't have to look at me while you sing,"

"But I still know you're there!" In truth I didn't want him to hear my most emotional songs because most were about him. I really don't want to show him how much I was hurt and how much I missed him. I want him to think I've moved on and am perfectly happy without him. I know it's stupid because he would hear the songs anyway but, at least then I wouldn't be staring at him while I sang them and hearing his comments.

"Well no offense but you are going to have to get over it." Right about then the door opened and the infamous Tasha walked in, not that he noticed.

"Well it looks like I have time to adjust, your girlfriends here," I told him pointing surprised she was being so quiet. He turned around and looked shocked. I couldn't hear what they were saying because he had let go of the button that lets me hear what's going on in the booth. I grabbed my guitar and started strumming a few chords softly enough to not interrupt them.

"Hey Rose I'm going to step out for a second, play nice while I'm gone," he warned giving me a stern look. I just rolled my eyes.

"Don't I always?" I asked sarcastically. I wasn't going to even try to go out of my way and be nice to her, and it is NOT out of jealously. I've seen her in interviews and other things where she just gives off a stuck-up conceded vibe. Of course I've always been able to read people well and this time was no different. As soon as he left the booth she walked into the studio with a glare on her face. She crossed her arms and tried her best to look intimidating. I tried to hold back a laugh but failed.

"What are you laughing at bitch?" she snapped which made me laugh even more. I refuse to be affected by her and her stupidity.

"Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?" I asked using a popular expression…at least where I'm from.

"Huh?" she asked giving me a look like I was stupid.

"Sorry was that over your head? I've heard it doesn't take much," I said trying to irritate her.

"shut up country bumpkin," she said.

"Is that supposed to be an insult because it's really not," I told her laying my accent on pretty thick. She's fun to mess with.

"Don't go around thinking you're something special because you're really not. You'll be gone in no time,"

"Really because I'm not so sure Dimitri would agree," I told her. Her glare got even worse, to the point I'm not even sure if her eyes were open anymore.

"You might think he cares but he really doesn't. He came home talking about how annoying you are and how he doesn't even know why he was friends with you let alone dated you. Which I do find it funny that obviously you weren't important to him considering I've never heard him mention you once. Didn't even know who you were until last night."

"Well if you're so confident that I'm not important why are you here checking up on him? If he really has never mentioned me and spent all night complaining about me then why do you care? According to you I'll be gone in no time, why are you so jealous?" I asked her trying not to let her see how her words affected me. Part of me immediately wanted to say that she was a complete liar and he would never say those things about me but, it has been years and I don't know him like I used to. I honestly don't know if he cares about me anymore or has any shred of feeling towards me what so ever, especially after the things he said yesterday. I know he was just lashing out because that's the way he is, if he feels hurt he bites back. I also know that he's probably only doing this because it's his job.

"I'm not jealous and never could be of you. You're nothing to me and to Dimitri. I'm beautiful, rich, famous and important. You're ugly, poor, and nothing more than dirt on the bottom of my shoe. There's nothing to be jealous of."

"Then why are you in here trying to intimidate me? Which by the way is not working because honestly your personality is as fake as your nose, you're a huge bitch, your voice is more annoying than a chainsaw, and your glare is the funniest thing I've seen all day. According to you I'm nothing and you're not jealous and have nothing to be jealous of so why don't you run along and let the professionals work?"

"You're crazy you bitch!" she yelled pissed off.

"Yep, guess I'm just the crazy ex-girlfriend," I said shrugging.

About then Dimitri walked in. Tasha of course decided to play a victim. She ran into the booth and clung to his arm.

"Dimka she was so horrible! She was insulting me and being so hateful!" She said in the most annoying voice ever. I just snorted. "She even said that the only reason she came here was to try and steal you away from me!"

At that the smile was immediately wiped from my face.

"Umm excuse me, I never said that you're a damn liar but I've already told Dimitri I had no idea he worked here," I defended.

"Rose can you stay quiet for a second," he said looking at me before turning back towards Tasha. "I'm sure you weren't completely innocent, why don't we go to my office and we can finish talking about why you're here. Rose stay here and don't get into trouble."

"Aye Aye," I said sarcastically. He just sighed and walked out pulling Tasha with him. She turned and glared at me again so I took the lady like route and flipped her off. "Bye Bitch!"

After they were gone I grabbed my notebook and started writing down lyrics that had popped in my head during our little 'conversation'. About thirty minutes later Dimitri finally came back in while I was strumming away on the guitar.

"Get a handle on your girlfriend finally?" I asked sarcastically not looking away from the guitar.

"I told you to play nice," he said.

"I tried. Trust me anything I said, she said worse. I honestly have no idea what you see in her."

"Anyway, I see you're working on something. Anything good?" he asked changing subjects.

"Well actually it started off from something Tasha called me earlier. She tried to insult me but, it ended up giving me a hilarious idea so I decided why not turn it into a country/rock song. I am apparently a country bumpkin," I joked. "Wanna hear it?"

"Am I going to regret this?" he asked warily.

"Well it's definitely not true so probably not but, it's also not emotional or anything just a fun crazy kind of song," I said with emphasis on the crazy part.

"Go ahead," he said. I could tell he was curious. I picked up the guitar and started playing.

"This was inspired by my country roots and jealous girlfriends," I said with a wink. I wish Tasha was here to see me sing this song.

 **It took me 5 bars, some 30 license plates**

 **I saw her mustang**

 **And my eyes filled up with rage**

 **I brought my pistol but I ain't some kinda fool**

 **So I walked right in bare-handed**

 **She was on his arm while he was playing pool**

 **Just like I used to do**

 **She kissed him while I got a beer**

 **She didn't think I'd show up here**

 **I'm a crazy ex girlfriend**

 **I watched her for awhile but I didn't like her walk**

 **Came across kinda cheap to me**

 **But hey hows that my fault**

 **She looked at my man like he didn't have on a stitch**

 **Somebody tell that girl**

 **Step up to the plate**

 **I wanna Pitch**

 **(Little Bitch)**

 **Those pretty girls can play their game**

 **But they're damn well gonna know my name**

 **I'm a crazy ex-girlfriend**

 **I started throwing things and I scared folks half to death**

 **I got up in his face smelled whiskey on his breath**

 **Didn't give a second thought to being thrown in jail**

 **Cause baby to a hammer everything lookes like a nail**

 **I was mad as hell**

 **Those pretty girls they're all the same**

 **But they're damn well gonna know my name**

 **I'm a crazy Ex-Girlfriend**

 **I'm a crazy Ex-Girlfriend**

 **I'm a crazy Ex-Girlfriend**

 **I'm a crazy Ex-Girlfriend**

When I got done I looked at Dimitri and grinned. He shook his head.

"It's going to be a ride isn't it?" he asked exasperated.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I told him smiling.


	7. Chapter 6 Bury Me

**So thing. I literally stayed up until 9:30 this morning (meaning stayed up all night!), writing two chapters for this story. What's the catch you ask? We're on chapter 6 and I was writing like chapter 20 and 21 (Maybe even further than that because that's just a guesstimate?). For those dying to know, I wrote the reveal, where Dimitri and Rose come clean about EVERYTHING and then the aftermath of that night and next day. I didn't mean to. I just wanted to write down the reveal part before I lost my train of thought with it and it just wouldn't stop. I literally had to force myself to go to bed so I could get 3 hours of sleep haha.**

 **So all that being said I'm hoping it will inspire me to write these chapters a little faster so we can get to it sooner! That being said I still only plan to post new chapters biweekly. (That is no guarantee as you all know) but I was feeling guilty for taking so long to post the last chapter and then writing two chapters towards the end of the story instead of the chapters I need to, so I decided to post this one for you.**

 **I do want you all to know that this chapter and the previous have not yet been BETA'd hopefully once they are I can repost them without all the grammar issues that I know are there.**

 **The fight continued (Rose freshman Dimitri Junior):**

 _The next day I still wasn't talking to Dimitri. Anytime he tried to find me in the hallway I would turn and walk the opposite way. Serves him right!_

" _How long are you going to shut him out?" Lissa asked one day while we were standing in front of our lockers._

" _I don't know. I'm still debating it. He deserves it. He should have never taken her side before talking to me," I said watching her grab her books out of her locker._

" _Oh cause that doesn't sound jealous at all," she said smiling at me._

" _It's not! I'm his best friend. He should have taken my word over hers and he definitely should not have tried to yell at me because of her. I might just keep ignoring him until he breaks up with her. We all know it's coming soon. They've almost been dating for a month."_

" _And you're proving me wrong how?" she asked as we started down the hall._

" _Hey Rose!" I heard my name being called from down the hall. I turned to find Reed, one of the juniors on the football team, heading towards me._

" _What's up?" I asked. He never really talked to me so I was wondering what he was up to._

" _I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me this weekend?" he asked looking nervous. It was kind of cute._

" _Sure." I agreed._

" _Awesome! I'll pick you up at 7," he said before turning and walking back the way he came._

" _See does that look like I have feelings for Dimitri?" I asked looking at Lissa. She rolled her eyes and started walking again. I quickly got in stride with her._

" _Oh wow, you got a date. That doesn't mean anything. Gay guys date girls all the time to hide the fact they're gay!" she pointed out._

" _Doesn't mean that's what I'm doing!" I argued back._

" _Whatever I'm about to be late to class. Keep denying it. You'll realize it eventually," she laughed before turning into her classroom._

 _Later that day I was sitting in my room when I heard the doorbell go off. Out of pure curiosity I got up and went downstairs. When I opened the door I saw it was Dimitri and tried to shut it back but he blocked it with his foot._

" _Really?" he said coming in._

" _By all means Dimitri, why don't you come in?" I smarted._

" _Are you really still mad?" he asked._

" _Are elephants fat?" I smarted off walking into the kitchen. I went to the fridge._

" _Really? You're going to be like this?" he asked. I ignored him and grabbed a water before turning around and going to the island in the middle of the kitchen. I opened the water and took a drink before putting the lid back on and putting it on the counter._

" _Sure, I would love a water Rose. Thank you so much for asking." He said sarcastically. I finally looked up and glared at him. "Fine! I'm sorry. I was an ass and I should have never gotten mad at you. At least not without talking to you first."_

" _That's a start," I said._

" _Aaron told me what you told him she said and I'm sorry I didn't ask you about it first. If it makes it any better I broke up with her."_

" _Because of me?" I asked shocked._

" _Kind of. I confronted her about what really happened and what Aaron told me and she admitted she did say it. She tried to say it was just cause she was jealous of our relationship but I told her I couldn't date someone that mean and manipulative."_

" _Yep you're right on time,"I told him with a chuckle._

" _What?" he asked confused._

" _You've almost been dating for a month. So it's about time for you to break up with her. You're way too predictable. And you have weird commitment issues. I know we're just in high school but the rate you're going there's not going to be anyone left that you haven't dated."_

" _So I don't like to stick to one girl. What's wrong with that?" he asked._

" _Nothing manwhore," I teased._

" _I'm not a manwhore!" he defended._

" _Oh yes you are," I laughed._

" _Take that back!" he warned pointing his index finger at me._

" _Or what?" I asked getting ready to run._

" _Take it back."_

" _Make me!" I said running out of the kitchen, down the hallway and into the living room. He tackled me into the couch and started tickling me._

" _Stop it!" I cried laughing._

" _Take it back!"_

" _Never! Man…Whore!" I yelled out in between laughs. He slowly stopped tickling me and looked down at me._

" _Am I forgiven?" he asked raising his hands like he was about to start again._

" _This time. But do it again and it'll take a lot more than an apology," I warned._

" _I will take that into consideration in the future." He stood up and offered his hand to help me up. "Want to come over for dinner?"_

" _Um duh!" I said hopping off the couch and heading towards the front door. Just like that we were good again._

 **Present:**

"So what actually happened while I was gone? I've heard her side but she can be a little dramatic," Dimitri said. I just raised an eyebrow at him when he said a LITTLE dramatic. "Ok maybe a little more than a little but that's beside the point. What happened?"

"Well long story short. She came in bitching, calling me names, I called her out for being jealous, she said she wasn't because I'm not important, I told her that her personality is as fake as her nose, she called me a crazy bitch. Then you came in."

"Was that it?" he asked cautiously.

"Yep," I said lying. I didn't feel like telling him about everything she said because then that would mean it was bothering me and it couldn't possibly be bothering me…absolutely not.

"Are you sure?" he asked eyeing me suspiciously.

"Honestly, don't we have songs I'm supposed to be working on?" I asked trying to distract him. He still didn't look like he believed me but let it go.

About then my phone rang. I looked and saw it was Mason. I told Dimitri it was important and answered it.

"Hey you what's up?" I asked wondering why he was calling

"Well I have some great news!" he said excitedly.

"Well don't keep me waiting!" I told him laughing.

"I'm coming out there! Well I am soon. I've almost got all of the money and I should be there by the end of the month!"

"What?! Really? You're finally coming out here? Is it just a visit or are you staying?"

"I'm staying, as long as you have the spare room for a while until I get my feet on the ground," he said with a laugh.

"Of course I have room for my favorite fake boyfriend!" I told him referring to the title I gave him a few years ago. It came after Viktoria started teasing us saying we acted just like a couple. Of course we are and always have been JUST good friends but we do sort of act like a couple minus all the coupley things like holding hands and kissing. I would say we act more like brother and sister but Viktoria disagreed.

"Awesome! Well I have to go to work but I'll call you tomorrow with more details. I was just too excited to wait."

"Fantastic! Well I guess I will talk to you tomorrow. Love you, be safe!" I warned.

"Love you too sis. I will." Mason said hanging up.

I walked back over to the stool and grabbed my guitar before sitting back down.

"Good news I take it?" Dimitri asked strangely looking a little sad all of a sudden.

"Yep! Mason is coming to LA!" I told him with a smile. "He said he should be here before the end of the month!

"Well that's good," he said with a small fake smile.

"Why so glum all of a sudden?" I asked.

"Oh it's nothing. Back to the songs. Do you have anything good for me?"

A little while later I still hadn't really shown him anything good but I was getting a little bit more emotional with each song. It's kind of like I'm just warming up, practicing for the really good emotional stuff.

"Ok well it's getting better but, still not your best. Why don't we call it a day and try again tomorrow?" Dimitri suggested.

"Sure sounds great," I told him checking my phones messages. I heard it go off a few times earlier but didn't read them.

"Dang it," I muttered.

"Everything ok?" Dimitri questioned.

"Mia has to stay and close because the new bartender was a no show and it was her night to help the manager close it up. I was supposed to go to her house for dinner.

"How about I take you to dinner?" I gave him a look. "Not like that. Just as friends. Come on we'll go to IHOP I know it's your favorite."

"How do you know it's my favorite still?"

"Well that is a good question but I'm assuming since breakfast has been your favorite part of the day since you were 4 and IHOP has been your favorite restaurant since you first went with us when you were 6, that it hasn't changed,"

"What if I like Denny's now?" I asked.

"You always said that's Denny's was for traitors and that their food wasn't half as good or creative as IHOP's.

"Fine I'll go but only because it's IHOP and now you have me craving pancakes," I said grabbing my guitar case and walking into the booth. _Dinner with my ex-boyfriend…this won't be awkward at all!_

As we walked outside I immediately knew which car was his. It was a jet black 2013 mustang Shelby gt500. He had always wanted a mustang.

"Nice car," I said trying to hide my excitement. Unfortunately while growing up I was best friends with a guy so I know a lot about cars.

"Thanks, just got her not too long ago," he said walking to the passenger door and opening it up for me.

"Thank you," I said climbing in.

"So you finally got your mustang," I said with a small smile when he got in.

"Among a few others," he grinned putting it in gear and taking off. "I actually have two, a classic and this baby."

"What year?"

"69" he said proudly.

"Of course," I smirked.

"Get your head out of the gutter Hathaway, It's a great car!"

"Mhmm. Changing subjects, I hardly ever come to this part of town." I said looking around. It was a rich area with huge houses. "Where are we going IHOP for the rich and famous?"

"No this is just a short cut. Do you think most of the rich and famous would go to IHOP?" he joked.

"No, too many carbs!" I joked back.

"So when you become rich and famous are you going to ditch IHOP too?" he asked.

"I love food way too much to become one of those annoying chicks who eat practically nothing. Plus I wouldn't want to hurt IHOPS feelings by ditching it," I said with a smile.

"Pretty sure if you quit going to IHOP they'd go bankrupt," he said with a smirk.

"UGH! I eat a lot but not enough to keep one national business running thank you!"

"Whatever gets you through the day," he chuckled. I plugged my phone in and turned the volume up playing my rock playlist.

"Shinedown? You listen to Shinedown?" Dimitri asked giving me a glance like I was weird. I shrugged and started singing along.

 **I feel like there is no need for conversation** **  
** **Some questions are better left without a reason** **  
** **And I would rather reveal myself than my situation** **  
** **Now and then I consider, my hesitation** **  
** **The more the light shines through me** **  
** **I pretend to close my eyes** **  
** **The more the dark consumes me** **  
** **I pretend I'm burning, burning bright**

"Since when do you listen to Shinedown?" He asked confused. I shrugged.

"Fine since you're freaking out so bad I'll change it," I told him smiling to myself. I turned it to 30 Seconds to Mars just to freak him out even more. I started singing along with it waiting for his next comment.

 **What if I wanted to break**

 **Laugh it all off in your face**

 **What would you do? (Oh, oh)**

 **What if I fell to the floor**

 **Couldn't take all this anymore**

 **What would you do, do, do?**

 **Come break me down**

 **Bury me, bury me**

 **I am finished with you**

"This seems really dark for you," he asked looking confused like it's just now dawning on him that maybe I'm not the same girl he left behind.

"Well I've grown up since the last time you saw me Dimitri. I've changed and so has my taste in music. I'm not that same girl you left in that airport."

"Obviously," he smarted.

"And I've always liked Rock music. I just had to be in the mood for it. Plus hello Jared Leto!"

"So does that mean you listened to my band's music?" he asked. I got the impression from his expression that even he didn't know if he wanted me to say yes or not.

"Yep. Not like I had a choice. For a while that's all the radio would play," I told him making a joke out of it.

By then we were pulling into the parking lot. We got out of the car and headed inside. As we were sitting down the waitress tried to hand me the menu.

"Oh no thank you but I don't need that," I told her.

"What finally got it memorized?" Dimitri asked me sarcastically.

"Shut up jerk," I said trying not to laugh. "I just already know what I want."

"I'd say that too," he smarted off.

"Again shut up. Nobody asked your opinion." I said with a small smile.

"Is that a smile Hathaway?"

"Yea because I'm laughing at your stupidity,"

"Wow that was lame, especially for you,"

"Whatever can we just order now?"

"Just because you have the menu memorized doesn't mean I do. Some of us actually have to read the menu."

"Oh have you changed your obsessive habit of ordering the same exact meal since you were ten?"

"Maybe…people can change their minds you know,"

"Oh, don't I know that," I said softly looking out the window.

"Well you just happen to be right, I am ordering the same thing, I really should change it up," he said changing the subject.

"Why don't you let me order for you then?" I challenged.

"Because most likely whatever you order will give me diabetes."

"Are you scared Belikov? Come on live a little." He didn't say anything but looked at me questioning, wondering whether he should or not. I tried raising an eyebrow but unfortunately I haven't figured out how to do that so he of course started laughing.

"I'm not sure,"

"Fine we'll make it a bet. If I order for you and you don't like it, I will record some actual 'good' songs. If you like it, you have to answer 5 questions honestly."

"I don't like that deal," he said.

"Why because you'll have to be honest with me?" I asked sarcastic.

"No, because you know what I like and what I don't so most likely you're going to win no matter what."

"Fine you let me order for you and I will still do a few good songs tomorrow?"

"Deal."

"YES! Finally you will order something besides a dang burger!" I cheered. Ever since he was ten if we went to IHOP after 'proper' breakfast times he refused to order anything besides a burger because breakfast food is meant for breakfast not dinner according to him. The only reason he ever even came to IHOP is because of me.

"I can't believe I agreed to this," he sighed.

"You act like I'm causing you harm comrade. You need to try more new things," I told him accidentally using my old nickname for him. I was trying so hard not to call him that because it use to be a term of endearment for him but he doesn't deserve it now. This avoiding our issues and being nice thing might be becoming too much. We're quickly falling into our old routines of joking and playing around with each other, I really can't keep that up. Dimitri somehow sensed my change of mood but before he could say anything the waiter came up and asked us for our orders.

"I will have the stuffed French toast combo with strawberries, bacon and scrambled eggs and a side of pancakes. He will have the rooty tooty fresh 'n fruity. Sunny side up, bacon, and toast." I said. Dimitri raised his eyebrows. "Oh and I would like some chocolate milk, he'll probably stick with coffee."

"Thought you didn't have the menu memorized?" he asked.

"I don't but that's my second favorite thing to get so I have that memorized."

"Did you seriously just order me something called the rooty tooty fresh and fruity? I think I just lost man points just by saying that!" he said looking disgusted.

"Shut up, you'll enjoy it." I told him with a small smile before remembering my earlier thoughts.

Dimitri again realized my change in attitude and thankfully didn't say anything. We sat in silence for a few moments before he broke it.

"So how bad was the relationship?" he asked. I looked at him confused. "Yesterday you said Vika was in a bad relationship and you had to interfere, how bad was it?"

"Now you're interested," I muttered, I saw the hurt flash on his face and immediately wanted to kick myself. I might not want to become best friends with him again but I also don't want to hurt him…even if he's an asshole that deserves it. "It was the same guy who knocked Sonya up and left her right after. All he wanted to do was get in Vika's pants then leave her behind too. Almost did too."

"What happened?"

"At first we didn't know it was the same guy until Sonya saw him one day and told me who he was but didn't want me to tell anyone because she was embarrassed. By the time I found out they had already left. I knew where they were going so I called Mason then we chased her down. They were at some college party and by the time we got there he had already taken her upstairs. We stormed into the bedroom, I grabbed her and headed for the door. He tried to grab my arm but I punched him in the face, broke his nose, I took Vika outside while Mason had a talk with him before escorting us home. She wouldn't talk to me for a few weeks, not believing me that he was just using her until Sonya finally told her I was telling the truth and told her the whole story."

"Why did Sonya tell you?"

"Because she knew I would literally go in there and drag Vika out kicking and screaming to save her from him. She also knew I wouldn't judge her for her mistakes. At that time everyone was pretty much looking down on her for getting knocked up"

"Oh," he said kind of speechless. "Since when are you two so close?"

"Let's just say we had a moment of bonding that helped us understand one another better and friendship grew after that," I said not wanting to bring up those bad memories. Thinking of the night she came to my rescue.

"That's it? You know each other for years and can't stand each other then you have a moment and become best buds?" he asked confused.

"We're not best buds but…well she was there when I needed someone and we talked things through," I said remembering that day. I remember being alone in my parents giant house, sobbing, grabbing my phone calling the first number my finger hit which happened to be Sonya, all I was able to get out was "Help me!" if that. Next thing I knew Sonya was there taking care of me. She helped me get through the night and stayed with me for the next few days. Over those few days we talked and settled our issues and she continued taking care of me, physically and emotionally.

"What do you mean when you needed someone?"

"Nope. That's an answer you're not going to get. I'll tell you basics and update you on your family but, I'm not talking about me." Too painful. I pulled my legs up in the booth and sat sideways hugging my knees before I knew I did it. Once I realized I had done it, I tried to make sure there were no emotions playing on my face, not wanting Dimitri to know I was upset.

"You actually punched him?" he said after a few minutes of silence.

"Damn right, no one messes with my family and NO one tries to mess with me," I said trying to clear my head.

"I think I might have taught you to fight too well," he joked.

"Scared Belikov?" I asked with a small smirk trying to get back to the playfulness from before.

"Oh hell hath no fury like a pissed off Rose Hathaway!" he joked back. By then our food arrived so we fell into silence eating. As usual Dimitri was finished before me.

"Like it?" I asked smirking.

"Not too bad…still not meant for dinner but it was good."

"Oh just admit it was delicious and you will probably order it again," I smirked.

"We'll have to see about that," he said with a small smile. I quickly finished and we sat in silence waiting for the waiter to bring us our check.

"Don't take this the wrong way but this is kind of annoying." I told him.

"What?" he asked feigning confusion.

"This. Pretending like there's nothing wrong between us. Joking around like we're friends again. Is this really how it's going to be from now on?" I vented.

"I really don't know. You want answers that I'm not willing to tell."

"Why won't you just tell me? I can understand why you quit talking to me but I just really don't get why you quit talking to your family," I said trying not to let the hurt and pain in my voice.

"I'll just say I changed when I got here. Things happened."

"What could have been so bad you quit talking to everyone who loved you? They would never have looked down at you."

"I really don't want to talk about it," he said a bit harsh. I knew better than to keep trying to get him to open up. "On a different subject, you now have to give me some real songs."

"Fine, I told you I would but, there are some conditions. First do not assume any or all of them are about you, I have had other relationships before and after you. Second you can't ask me about any of them. If I think of anything else I'll tell you later. Ok?"

"Ok. Let's get going," he said. I hadn't even realized the waiter had brought the check. I got up and followed him to the front. He paid and we quickly made our way outside. Of course it had started raining on us and I had no jacket. It couldn't have just been a sprinkling...no...it was pouring. The kind of rain that soaks you to the bone in a matter of seconds. We dashed to the car. When we got in the car, I quickly turned on the heater because I was freezing. It was the freezing cold rain and I didn't have clothes on made for this weather. Dimitri reached into his backseat and pulled out the all too familiar duster I had gotten him for his 16th birthday (having parents who are rich come in handy sometimes) and handed it to me.

"Here put this on." He said.

"What about you?" I asked.

"Just put it on, I'll be fine. I'm from an arctic wasteland remember?" he teased me about the comment I made when I found out his family was originally from Russia.

"Fine. Thank you." I said putting it on. He pulled out of the parking lot and started heading back the way we came.

"Don't you need to know where I live?" I asked.

"I'm not taking you home yet," he said.

"Then where are we going?"

"The studio, you said you'd give me good songs. No backing out now." He smirked.

"I meant tomorrow, not tonight! Are we even allowed in the studio after hours?"

"Yep, I have a key card. Once you sign a more permanent deal you'll get one too."

"So we're seriously going to record at 9 at night?"

"Yep," he said popping the 'p'.

"Oh fun," I muttered. We sat in silence for a few minutes. I was thinking about my earlier encounter with Tasha. Before I even knew I had opened my mouth, I popped off a question that had been on my mind all afternoon. "Did you really never mention me?"

"What?" he asked confused.

"All of these years did you really never talk about me, not even once?" I asked trying not to let the hurt enter my voice.

"Ah so there was more," he smirked.

"Well it's not like it matters, I was just curious ," I said shrugging.

"She was just trying to annoy you. Trust me when I got here I couldn't shut up about you. I wouldn't quit talking about you, my family and all of the people back home. It got so bad Ivan threatened to hit me every time I mentioned you," he chuckled.

"Ivan was in your band right?" I asked. He suddenly grew serious again.

"Yea,"

"He was the one who passed away?" I asked carefully.

"Yea," he said but didn't elaborate.

"I'm sorry," I told him sincerely.

"Thanks," he said unemotionally. He quickly changed subjects again. "What else did she say?"

"Oh nothing really," I lied.

"That's what you said earlier. You were lying then and you're lying now."

"She just said that you don't care about me, and you went home complaining that you had to work with me," I said quickly.

"And?"

"And what?"

"What else did she say?"

"Who said there was more?" he just gave me a look.

"Fine, she said that you told her you have no idea why we were ever friends and you regret it all, especially dating me. Like I said it was stupid and doesn't matter."

"None of that is true. I didn't say anything like that."

"Doesn't matter. Really. Even if you did say it, it doesn't bother me," I said looking out the window. "The past is in the past."

"Roza, I honestly never said anything even close to that. I would never regret having you as a friend and especially would never regret what we had. She's just trying to mess with you. She can be a bit jealous sometimes."

"Really? Hadn't noticed," I said sarcastically. "What I don't get is why you are with her? She's so annoying! Plus you're not the kind of guy that would put up with her shit…at least you used to not be that guy."

"She's been there for me over the years. She hasn't always been like this. I stay with her because she's been there when I needed someone," he said.

"Yea well your family would have been there for you too, I would have been there for you. You pushed us away," I said a little more bitter than I wanted to.

"Like I said I really don't want to talk about why I pushed y'all away, you wouldn't understand anyway" he said his southern accent mixing with his Russian accent. Somehow even though I was mad at him I still found it sexy as hell. By now we were back in the parking lot of the studio. We got out of the car but continued arguing as we went in.

"Why because I'm so naïve? There's no way a simple girl like me could ever understand your problems right? I hate to break it to you but I probably understand better than anyone. Even precious Tasha" I said sarcastically really pissed off.

"That's not what I'm saying. I just…Look, you'd never been through anything like what I was going through and I didn't want to drag you into it. And how would you know?"

"Wow. I didn't know you had the monopoly on problems. Would have saved me a lot of trouble over the years. I might not have ever gone through the same shit you dealt with but I've had my fair share of problems."

"Oh yea you've had such a horrible life," he smarted off as we entered the sound booth.

"You really have no idea what you're talking about. I've been through stuff that you couldn't even imagine, so don't you dare sit there and patronize me."

"Oh my god! So I left! Was it really that horrible? Get over it!" he yelled.

"Ok now I really, really want to kick your ass. Yes you left, yes I was devastated, are you happy to hear that? Because I was. Honestly. But, you know what? I got over it. You made your choices and I learned to accept them," I told him truthfully but, then I started getting louder until by the end I was almost yelling, fueled by my anger. "But, a lot happened after you left. I went through a lot of shit and a lot of pain. So don't you dare try to pretend like you know shit about me. What's worse is I was forced to go through it alone! You didn't, you chose to be alone!"

"So again it's my fault? Apparently you had my family," he smarted sounding as pissed as I felt.

"Wow. No it wasn't your fault this time, it was mine. You're really starting to annoy me with this jealousy over me still being involved with your family. Yea I had them but honestly at that time I didn't even want them. That's what you don't get Dimitri, I tried to leave your family. Shit I tried to leave the city, the state, the freaking planet but they wouldn't let me. Because even when I didn't want them and all I wanted was you. They wouldn't leave. You know why Dimitri? Because family doesn't care what you do or have done. They don't care what mistakes you've made, or if you've screamed and cussed at them and told them to leave you alone. The only reason I am here today is because of your family. And no matter what you think, they would have and still will stand by you until the day they die even after the way you've treated them.

"What does that even mean? Did you try to kill yourself?" he asked confused before his anger took over again. "And what makes you think I would have been much help for this mysterious 'shit' you went through? If they couldn't help you how could I?"

"Because!" I yelled frustrated. ' _Because if you were there it might have never happened, if you were there you would have been able to understand more than they could, if you were there I wouldn't feel so guilty'_ I thought to myself. I wasn't about to go into details so I changed courses. "I may not know what you've dealt with and may not have experienced what you did but, that doesn't mean that I can't understand or wouldn't have at least tried to help. You know all it would have taken was one phone call and I would have been here."

"That's one reason why I couldn't talk to you. You had things back home you needed to take care of. You were still in school and I couldn't just let you up and abandon your life to come be with me."

"So instead you turn to some over bearing, annoying, bitch? Good choice. No matter what I had at home, I needed you more," I said trying to calm down when all I wanted to do was go find a closet or a corner and cry my eyes out. This was too much. Ever since I saw him yesterday everything has started coming back to the surface. All the emotions I've buried and locked away were trying to let loose. And this is just the beginning.

"Look I'm not trying to be douche but I don't need your approval. I made my decisions. You might not approve but it's not your life. I understand you're pissed and hurt because of what I've done and you have every right to be but stay out of it."

"Whatever Dimitri. That's fine. I'm out of it. From now on it's strictly business. You're my producer and that's it."

"If that's how you want to see it."

"I think that's what's best," I told him. I couldn't keep going down this road. I have a feeling if we continue like this it could break me. I'll just keep working on this album and hopefully a new producer will open up and I can switch. Until then Dimitri and I are nothing but colleagues.

Yea let's see how long that lasts…I have a feeling not very long.


	8. Chapter 7 Boyfriends and Stroking Ego's

_**Surprise!**_ **So Luckily for all of the readers of this story and not Insta Fame, I'm having a block on that story so here's the next chapter of this one. Luckily I'm like 5 chapters ahead right now (and still writing) so I feel more comfortable updating more frequently. Plus I'm super excited because we finally get to meet Adrian in this chapter! I hope you all enjoy it and please either message me or leave a review to tell me what you think, good or bad!**

 **By the way this chapter like the last two haven't been Beta'd so let me know if you see anything I need to fix :)**

 **Oh and this chapters' flashback picks up right after the last one but I think the next chapter we'll change time frames a little bit. (Not sure exactly cause I haven't written all the flashbacks yet.). Also I know the flashbacks are all pretty fluffy but for one they are kids and in high school so really you have the normal high school drama but that's not extremely dramatic even if it feels like it at the time and two I'm trying to balance out the extreme drama of the current chapters! Trust me the next one is probably going to get intense so you'll be glad you have fluff! Haha. I will go back later and add in stuff like the drama with Dimitri's dad and other stuff so enjoy fluff while you can!**

 _ **(Rose-Freshman Dimitri Junior)**_

" _So Rose what are you wearing for your date on Friday?" Lissa asked me at lunch the next day._

 _"I don't know," I replied focused on my lunch._

 _"I still can't believe Rose already got a date!" Laughed Mason._

 _"What's that mean? Lissa has a date already too!" I exclaimed offended._

 _"Yea but I actually like people," she joked back._

 _"What can I say? So far I actually like him." I smiled._

 _"Like who?" Dimitri said coming over to our table. He sat down and started eating his lunch._

 _"My date this Friday!" I laughed. He quit eating and looked at me._

 _"What date?" he asked seriously._

 _"You probably know him actually. His name is Reed, his sister is in our grade but he's a year or two older."_

 _"You can't go out with him, he's a tool."_

 _"He was nice to me. I actually liked him. He's in my art class."_

 _"I still can't believe your taking art," Lissa laughed. I shrugged. She winked at me, "He's cute!"_

 _"It doesn't matter if he's cute! You can't go out with him. He's a player and just uses girls. He has a new girlfriend every month," Dimitri interrupted._

 _"And how's that much different from what you do," I challenged._

 _"Because the girls I date know what they're getting into. And you're better than that." Dimitri defended._

 _"Hypocrite," I said crossing my arms. "Besides it's one date. I'm a freshman in high school it's not like I'm looking for real love. Calm down."_

 _"Whatever. Just watch out," he said before getting up. I watched him go dump his tray before walking out of the cafeteria._

 _"If I didn't know any better I'd say he was actually upset," I said softly looking at Lissa confused._

 _"If I didn't know any better I'd say he was acting jealous," she smirked._

 _"Oh whatever!" I laughed. "Now you're talking crazy!"_

 _"Keep telling yourself that," she smirked I looked at her like she was crazy but before I could say anything else she continued. "Ok but really is he super cute?"_

 _The rest of the week was awkward. Dimitri seemed off but pretended like he was all fine. Anytime my date was mentioned he would leave saying he was leaving to avoid all the girl talk. Finally on Friday I confronted him on his porch after school._

 _"Whats up Comrade? And don't say nothing cause I know you too well for that," I asked. "You've been acting weird all week."_

 _"I don't like the idea of you dating. And I really don't like that it's with Reed Lazar." He said walking to the porch rail and leaning down on it._

 _"Comrade, I had to go on a date sooner or later. Geez, you'd think you were my father or something. Well except that he doesn't know and could care less if he did." I said coming up beside him but facing the house._

 _"I just don't want anything bad to happen to you. I care about you and I know in the end you're just going to end up broken hearted. But it really doesn't matter what I say does it?" he asked with a smile before looking down._

 _"Dimitri it's one date. It's not like we're talking marriage. I'm a big girl I promise. Besides I'm sure you've already threatened him by now telling him if he messes up you'll kick his ass for me huh?" I teased. His face started to turn red, embarrassed that I caught him. I laughed. "Ha you did! That's awesome. See what bad could ever happen with you as my best friend?"_

 _"As much as I can protect you and defend you I can't protect you from a broken heart. And I know one day even if it's not with Reed it's going to happen."_

 _"It's ok Dimitri. You can't protect me from everything one day I'm gonna get a broken heart but it's going to be ok because I have you and all of my other friends to pick me back up. But thank you for trying to protect me. You're an amazing best friend for trying."_

 _"Ugh! Why'd you have to start dating now!" he groaned with a laugh._

 _"Geez if you're this bad with me poor Vika. I might have to find a way to help her hide her dates once she starts going on them," I joked._

 _"Don't you dare!" he threatened straightening up and pointing his index finger at me._

 _"Oh yes. When she goes on her first date you're going to have the poor guy peeing his pants before she even gets downstairs. We'll definitely have to hide it from you for the guys sake."_

 _"Roza! If my sister ever goes on a date and you hide it from me we will no longer be friends!"_

 _"Oh yea right Comrade! Like you could get rid of me if you tried."_

 _"I know you're like that annoying fly that will never go away!" he teased._

 _"Ugh!" I said dropping my jaw. "Thanks jerk! Just imagine on her first date. Her first kiss. Hey she's even going to have sex one day!"_

 _"Don't you have a date to go get ready for?"_

 _"Thought you didn't approve?" I joked._

 _"I changed my mind. Whatever gets you away from me and stops this horrible conversation."_

 _"What? About Vika having sex?" I asked laughing._

 _"You can leave now. Bye!" he said pretending to cover his ears._

 _"Gah you're such a child!" I teased._

 _"Bye!" he said._

 _"Don't lie, you know you love me!"_

 _"You wish Hathaway!" he said pulling his hands down._

 _"Oh I know. But it's ok. Keep pretending,"_

 _"Who's pretending?"_

 _"Don't lie. We both know I'm the best and your favorite friend."_

 _"We're friends?" he asked acting surprised. I gasped and playfully slapped his arm. "Did you just hit me?"_

 _"Take that back," I warned him._

 _"Or else what? You'll hit me again? Go ahead I didn't even feel it the first time," he teased. I laughed and hit him a little harder._

 _"I almost actually felt that one!" he exclaimed._

 _"Take it back!" I said slapping him even harder. "Next one goes to the face!"_

 _"Oh no not the face!" he mocked. I raised my hand. We both knew I wouldn't hit his face but I had to at least pretend. "Ok fine fine, we're friends but just barely."_

 _"Oh really?" I said lifting my hand higher._

 _"Ok fine. Maybe you are the best and my favorite friend." He admitted. I put my hand back down and smiled._

 _"Good."_

 _"You know it doesn't really count if it was forced," he mocked before rushing into the house._

 _"Dimitri Belikov!" I exclaimed following him inside almost running into Sonya. "Sorry!"_

 _"In a hurry? Maybe you should watch out a little better."_

 _"Be nice Sonya. She was chasing me," Dimitri said coming back out into the living room and walking behind Sonya._

 _"Whatever," she said walking out the door._

 _"One day I'm going to break that Belikov and she's going to love me," I said. Dimitri came up to me and put his arm around me._

 _"Just face it Hathaway a lot of people just don't like you. Of course they aren't as cool as me since I put up with you everyday," he teased._

 _"Oh whatever." I then smelled Olena cooking. "I'm hungry."_

 _"Aren't you about to go on a date, shouldn't you eat there?" he asked._

 _"Not if we go to a movie. Plus I'll be hungry again then too. Its not for another two hours."_

 _"Sorry I forgot you eat like a pig," he laughed._

 _"Um I might eat like a pig but you eat like a cow who hasn't eaten in a week. I laughed walking into the kitchen._

 **Present Day~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

"So how do you want to do this? Same as earlier? I play you record and later we decide what stays and what goes?" I asked grabbing my guitar and standing in front of the mic.

"Yea pretty much," he said looking at the sound board only.

"So I have a lot of songs and I know reasonably I can't record them all so I was thinking about selling them to other Artists to sing. Some, as much as I love them, just aren't my sound anyways," I said.

"That's good. We'll just record them all and then later I can go through and cut them. Put them on cd's and give them as demos for other artists to hear."

"Ok well not all of these, I wrote myself. Some I wrote, some I had help on. Some are about me and some aren't so don't assume anything."

"Who else wrote these? Do you have their permission to use them?"

"Yes I have permission to use them. Actually your sister helped me write quite a few songs. Viktoria is a talented writer," I told him honestly. "She actually wants to be a songwriter one day."

"Why didn't she come with you then? She's graduated by now," he asked finally giving in and looking up, genuinely curious.

"I made her stay and promise to at least get her associates first. I told her once she finished, hopefully I would be more settled and financially secure then she could come out."

"Why didn't she just come now and go to school here? I'm sure it would be easier with two people working to pay the bills, especially since you could just share a room," he asked interested.

"I want her to focus on getting her degree and not have to worry about paying bills and making ends meet. She's better than that. And deserves more than that."

"Hmmm," he breathed thinking about what I said. "So why is this life good enough for you but not her?"

"Are we going to sit here and talk all night or can I play now?" I asked trying to avoid talking about me. I don't mind talking about Viktoria but I'm not talking about me.

"Go ahead," he said waving his hand.

"This one is obviously not about me but it's what you're asking for. Emotional and real. One of my favorites."

 **It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen**

 **All dressed in white**

 **Going to the church that night**

 **She had his box of letters in the passenger seat**

 **Six pence in her shoe, something borrowed, something blue**

 **And when the church doors opened up wide**

 **She put her veil down**

 **Trying to hide the tears**

 **Oh she just couldn't believe it**

 **She heard the trumpets from the military band**

 **And the flowers fell out of her hands.**

 **Baby why'd you leave me**

 **Why'd you have to go?**

 **I was counting on forever, now I'll never know**

 **I can't even breathe**

 **It's like I'm looking from a distance**

 **Standing in the background**

 **Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now**

 **This can't be happening to me**

 **This is just a dream**

As I sang I closed my eyes as memories surfaced. I pictured Aaron and Lissa laughing, a few days before he deployed. Her showing me her engagement ring. Opening the door to the soldiers telling her the news. Holding Lissa while she sobbed at the funeral, weeping for her lost fiancé and the unborn baby he never got to meet. All the moments since then that Aaron had missed out on in his son's life. After I finished it was silent. Dimitri seems hesitant to ask but I knew he also had a pretty good idea on who I could be talking about.

"Go ahead and ask," I said not looking up at him. I knew he was going to hate what I said next.

"Who is it about?" he asked though I could tell he already knew just didn't want to voice it.

"Aaron and Lissa," I said softly knowing he could still hear me. I looked up to see him stand up and pace back and forth for a minute. Then I just started rambling. "He proposed on one of his visits home while on leave, a year after we graduated. Less than a month later he was in Afghanistan when him and his crew or battalion or whatever got attacked. He along with two others died that day. He never even knew Lissa was pregnant. I was over there while she was taking the tests when the recruiters came knocking at her door. Technically that's not their jobs but it was a small town and when they found out they rushed to her knowing they were engaged so the actual officers, who's job it is to inform the family, wouldn't come tell her."

"I didn't know," he said stopping and coming to sit back down. Hanging his head down.

"How could you? Your mom tried calling you but you never answered or called back." I said bluntly and a little more sharp than I had intended. I know the pain he's going through finding out one of his closest childhood friends passed away but it is his fault he's just now finding out. I decided to let him process it for a few minutes while I went and grabbed a water from hospitality. By the time I got back he looked like the Dimitri I was starting to grow accustomed to, expressionless and stoic.

"What next?" he said sharply. I could hear in his voice he was still upset so I didn't smart off like I usually would have.

"This next one is not what you're going to think it is about. Well mostly it's not," I told him knowing that he was going to ask about it when I was done. I just didn't want him to think it was about Olena.

 **Hey girl you know you drive me crazy**

 **One look puts the rhythm in my hand**

 **Still I'll never understand why you hang around**

 **I see what's going down**

 **Cover up with make up in the mirror**

 **Tell yourself it's never gonna happen again**

 **You cry alone and then he swears he loves you**

 **Do you feel like a man**

 **When you push her around?**

 **Do you feel better now, as she falls to the ground?**

 **Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end**

 **As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found**

 **A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect**

 **Every action in this world will bear a consequence**

 **If you wait around forever you will surely drown**

 **I see what's going down**

 **I see the way you go and say you're right again,**

 **Say you're right again,**

 **Heed my lecture**

 **Do you feel like a man**

 **When you push her around?**

 **Do you feel better now, as she falls to the ground?**

 **Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end**

 **As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found**

 **Face down in the dirt!**

 **She said "this doesn't hurt!"**

 **She said "I finally had enough!"**

While I finished the song I looked up at Dimitri. He didn't really show much on his face but I could tell by his one eyebrow being up, that he was confused and trying to figure it out. When I finished I waited for him to ask.

"Ok well if it's not about what I'm thinking, then is it about you?" he asked hesitantly knowing I don't want to talk about myself.

"Sort of," I admitted. "After my parents kicked me out I stayed with a 'friend' and he turned out to not be so nice when he was drinking. So a while after I started writing this and then it turned out to not really be about me and my situation, just girls in that situation in general."

"Thought you stayed with my family after they kicked you out? Why didn't you beat the hell out of him? I taught you how to fight and you're really good," he said sounding confused. I didn't want to tell him that I thought I deserved it at the time, that's a whole other story.

"Well at the time I didn't really want to be around your family or really anyone. I usually made sure he didn't do much damage using the defensive moves you taught me until one day he caught me off guard and blacked my eye. Karo saw me walking down the street one day and dragged me to y'alls house. I moved in shortly after. "

"Since when do you not want to be around my family?" he asked knowing that I practically lived at his and Lissa's house growing up.

"Long story short I thought they hated me. Turns out they didn't. We talked, hugged, and I moved in," I said before changing the subject. "So next song?"

"Sure. What's next? Gotta say the last two have shocked me a little bit. Not what I was expecting."

"What were you expecting? A bunch of sappy heartbreak songs about you?" When he didn't answer I continued. "I do have songs about heartbreak. Some about you and some not. I have had relationships since then. I told you, you leaving has not been the only thing that I've gone through the last few years. Now I have a good song to play."

I plugged my guitar into the amp and smiled. I started playing but before I started singing I looked up and winked at Dimitri. This song is definitely about him.

 **Where have you been**

 **Where have you gone**

 **And have I done something wrong**

 **You're the tooth fairy**

 **You're like santa claus**

 **You're like white noise**

 **When I want my favorite song**

 **Just come on back**

 **And come on home**

 **It ain't super smart to leave me alone**

 **Light a flare, pick up the phone**

 **I'm like a stoner babe without my bong**

 **Are you hiding in the closet**

 **Are you underneath the bed**

 **Did you go for a long walk off a short pier**

 **How Come You're Not Here**

 **Should I worry you've been bitten**

 **Or somebody got you high**

 **Quick come back**

 **Or I might just die**

 **How Come You're Not Here**

 **I've heard some rumors**

 **About another girl**

 **I heard she's cute**

 **But she stores nuts like a squirrel**

 **And that's all cool**

 **I'll wait right here**

 **Til you get bored**

 **I'm the one**

 **I'm just that slick**

 **You won't find better**

 **I'm honey dipped**

 **There ain't a thing**

 **That's fake on me**

 **I miss you baby**

 **Come home to me**

 **Are you hiding in the closet**

 **Are you underneath the bed**

 **Did you go for a long walk off a short pier**

 **How Come You're Not Here**

As I sang, I was laughing and over exaggerating my facial expressions. This is one of my favorite songs to play just because it's so upbeat and random. Even though it's about him leaving it makes me laugh enough, that I have a blast playing it.

"So you get mad at something I didn't even say, thinking I want you to sing songs about me. Then proceed to play one about me?" he asked. With a small smirk. I shrugged.

"Couldn't resist. That's one of my favorites."

"I can tell," he said sharply.

"Well, I had to give you one. You know stroke your ego a little bit," I smarted off to him.

"Stroke my ego?" he asked incredulous.

"Yep," I said popping the 'p'. "Because obviously you wanted me to do a bunch of songs about you so then you could think that I've spent all of these years pining over you and have nothing better to do," I told him pretending as if that wasn't halfway true. I did pine over him for quite a while still do sometimes.

"I never said anything about you writing songs about me. You brought it up!"

"You insinuated it first!" I retorted.

"Did not. I just said those weren't what I was expecting."

"Dimitri I know you, and I know what you were expecting. You forget that we used to know each other better than we did our own selves. Just because you've turned into some big shot asshole doesn't mean I can't figure out what you mean."

"Talk about ego's. I never said anything besides those weren't what I was expecting. Besides how am I an asshole all of a sudden?" I gave him a look saying 'seriously?' Luckily my phone cut off further conversation. I dug it out of my purse and looked at the caller id.

"Shit," I said when I saw it was Jesse calling. I had forgotten to call him earlier. I told Dimitri to cut the mic off before answering it. "Hey babe!"

"Where the hell have you been? You were supposed to call me two hours ago. I've been calling for the last twenty minutes."

"I'm sorry. I got distracted recording and lost track of time. And I haven't heard your call because I've been playing while singing."

"Yea I'm sure," he smarted off. "That would be my excuse too if I was off screwing someone else."

"Hey don't be an asshole," I said frustrated. "I said I was sorry. You know I'm not off screwing anyone else. I'm with you and only you."

"I'm sorry. I just got worried when you didn't call and I haven't seen you in forever," he said sighing into the phone. "I miss you, and I miss our sexy time"

"I know, I've been working too much," I said rolling my eyes at him glad he couldn't see me. Sometimes I think the only reason he's with me is for sex but I'm ok with that because I'm not looking for anything real serious. "I have a day off later this week and I'll tell the studio I can't come in that day and we'll hang out. I promise."

"Fine but it better be soon," he said annoyed.

"It will be, I promise. For now can I let you go so I can hurry up and finish and get out of here? I'll call you tomorrow."

"If you have to. Love you."

"Yea you too," I replied before hanging up. He had said I love you several times now but I just couldn't bring myself to say it back. Plus I know he doesn't really mean it, he just thinks that's what I want to hear, I don't though. What can I say? After so much heartbreak I've learned not to fall so fast and easy. I don't even think I'm capable of love anymore, which is why I'm ok that he's only with me for sex. I sighed and threw my phone back into my purse.

"Damn men," I muttered then turned around back towards Dimitri.

"Done?" he asked.

"Yep."

"That looked a little tense," he said like he wasn't prying.

"Not any of your business," I said sharply, now annoyed with both Jesse and Dimitri.

"Ouch. Must not have been a very nice call I take it."

"Again none of your business," I said getting aggravated. "But if it will get you to stop prying. It was my boyfriend. He was upset I hadn't called him when I told him I would."

"Hold on, he's mad that you didn't call him?" Dimitri asked.

"That's what I said."

"Are you sure you're dating a man and not a very convincing woman?"

"Oh trust me Dimitri I know for a fact he is very much a man," I said smirking into the window. Mentally throwing a fist in the air when that wiped the smug smirk off of his face.

"Well you picked a real winner there," he smarted off.

"Oh trust me, he's more than worth it," I smarted off throwing salt in Dimitri's wounds. "Plus he's definitely better than Tasha."

"Leave her out of it."

"Then leave Jesse and me alone!"

"Jesse who?" he asked.

"None of your business. Besides I really doubt you know him. There's probably a million Jesse's in this town."

"Jesse who?" he asked again.

"None of your damn business!" I yelled at him fed up with this conversation.

"Please tell me it's not Jesse Zeklos," He said actually entering the recording area.

"What if it is?" I asked crossing my arms, pissed he got it on the first try.

"Rose you need to stay far away from him. That kid is bad news." He said coming towards me.

"What do you know? And what do you care?" I smarted off, yelling again. Taking a step towards him.

"I know enough. He's a player and up to no good. Plus he's an asshole."

"Maybe I like it. Maybe that's exactly what I want?" by now we were face to face…well face to chest but he was glaring down at me and I was glaring up at him, separated by about a foot of air between us. "News flash Dimitri, I'm not the same little girl next door I used to be and you have no right to come in here and start telling me what to do or how to live my life!"

"Can you just trust me on this? He's only going to hurt you in the end," Dimitri said almost looking pained.

"Can you stay out of my personal life? Trust me there's nothing Jesse can do that I haven't felt before." I said pissed off. He inhaled at that but bit his tongue for a minute. I didn't say anything waiting for him to make the next move.

"Well that's what I'm talking about! Damn its getting hot in here!" Came a voice from behind me. I quickly turned and saw none other than Adrian Ivashkov.

"I promise, it's not," I said trying to cool off.

"Are you sure? It looked like you were about to make out any second. Poor choice Rose. When there's obviously better looking talent for you to make out with," he said with a smirk waving to himself.

"Oh really?" I laughed. "Who said you're my type?"

"Oh please I'm every ones type. But I mean go ahead if you prefer the big brooding type," he laughed.

"What are you doing here Adrian?" Dimitri said sharply.

"I wanted to meet Rose. After all I've been hearing about her for the past few days I wanted to meet the person behind the name but I gotta say, they did not do you justice!" he laughed.

"Oh god! Really?" I laughed. About then my phone rang. I went and saw it was Viktoria so I turned to Dimitri. "It's your sister? Would you like to answer it?" when he didn't answer I continued. "That's what I thought. Hold that thought Adrian I have to take this really quick."

"Hey what's up?" I said into the phone walking out of the room and down the hallway.

"Do you have a minute?" she asked.

"For you always," I told her honestly. "Plus you just interrupted at a good moment."

"What are you doing?" she questioned.

"I'm at the studio recording with my asshole of a producer. We were in a big argument when none other than Adrian Ivashkov walked in and started flirting with me," I laughed.

"Holy crap! You've met THE Adrian Ivashkov?" she squealed into the phone.

"Well kind of. We bantered for a second then you called. He knew who I was. It was weird." I laughed.

"Well then don't let me keep you. Get off of here and go talk to him!"

"No way. I'm talking to my sister, he can wait. Plus I think he's busy and I'd rather not walk in there right now," I told her glancing down the hallway and seeing Adrian and Dimitri looking like they were arguing. I slid down the wall and sat on the floor. "It doesn't look like they're getting along real well. Anyways what's up? You weren't supposed to call until tomorrow."

"Nikolai," she sighed mentioning her friend that she somehow managed to friend zone without realizing he was head over heels for her. "He asked Alicia out on a date."

"Can you blame him? He's been pining after you for a year," I told her honestly.

"He has not," she said sadly.

"Viktoria that boy is head over heels in love with you. Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. I promise he will tell you the same."

"I doubt it," she said dejectedly.

"I know it's scary and it's hard as hell. And I know you are scared not only of getting rejected but getting your heart broken but he's worth it. He loves you."

"Yea but you and Dimka loved each other and that didn't help in the end."

"No it didn't but that's because we both made mistakes. You and Nikolai are completely different people and your relationship is completely different than mine and Dimitri and you are going to have problems eventually but you have me to stop you from screwing up like I did," I teased. "What our relationship came down to is I didn't fight hard enough. And neither did he. So go fight for your love tell him how you feel and don't let him go. Trust me I wouldn't tell you to put your heart out there if I didn't know 100% that he loves you back. If I thought for a second he didn't have feelings for you I would tell you to stay as far away from him as possible then I'd fly back to Georgia and kick his ass myself for being so stupid."

"Thanks," she laughed. I heard her sniffle but could hear that she was happy again.

"It's what I'm here for," I laughed. "Now it's still early enough go find him and tell him then call me tomorrow and tell me how it goes."

"Ok. Thank you for the pep talk."

"No problem."

"and Rose?"

"Yea?"

"I don't think yours and Dimitri's story is over. But even if it is, it was never your fault. It was his. And if I ever see him again I'll beat him up for you," she said making guilt twist in my stomach. I haven't told her I found Dimitri and I know it's only a matter of time before she finds out. I just want to get her answers before I fill her with hope.

"Thanks," I laughed softly. "Now go get your man. I love you but bye!"

"Bye, love you too!" she said quickly before hanging up. I thought over our conversation. I hadn't realized until talking to her how true my words were. In the end neither of us fought for our relationship like we should have and a major part of it was my fault. I never should have let him break things off with me so easily. I shouldn't have held in the words I should have said. I should have fought harder once he was gone.

I shook my head not wanting to dwell on those thoughts. I stood up and walked back towards the studio wondering if they were done with their arguments.

Songs used:

Just A Dream- Carrie Underwood

Facedown- Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (Acoustic)

How Come You're Not Here- P!nk


	9. Chapter 8 Keep Calling Me God

**Ok so funny story, I've had this chapter written for a while now but it never seemed right so finally I went back to the original story and read that chapter and tried to kind of blend the two together and hopefully now it's not too much. In the first version I had of this chapter I think I let Rose get way too emotional and it didn't seem right, so let me know what you think.**

 **Also I do have quite a few more flashback scenes planned for this story but I don't have enough for every chapter, so give me ideas on things you want to see from Rose's past (besides the stuff in the last 5 years because that will come I promise). It doesn't have to be Rose and Dimitri, It can be Rose by herself, Rose and her parents (I do have a few of those planned), Rose and Lissa, Rose and Viktoria, etc. they don't have to be long ideas, it can be just something short like this one. Cause even though this one is short it does have meaning.**

 **Anyways, the next chapter should be up fairly soon, though I'm not sure if I'll stick to the two weeks, or before. ;)**

 **Rose-5 Dimitri-7:**

 _"Mama! They won't let me watch my movie!" Vika whined from the floor._

 _"You can watch your show after ours is over," Dimitri told her._

 _"Watch something you all can agree on," Olena said from the kitchen. Since Karolina was the oldest she was in charge of the tv. She started flipping through the channels._

 _'Wait, what was that?" I asked. She started going backwards through the channels until I held my hand up. "Hold on are those GIRLS playing baseball? That's awesome. Why do they throw the ball funny though?"_

 _"That's softball," Karolina said giving me a weird look. "Haven't you ever heard of it? It's like the girls version of baseball."_

 _"No. That's so cool!" I said excited._

 _"Oh. I used to play it until I decided I didn't like it anymore. Do you want to play?"_

 _"Could I?" I asked. Karolina and Dimitri both shrugged before getting up to go to the kitchen, I followed._

 _"Hey mama can Roza play softball this year?" Karolina asked._

 _"I don't know sweetheart that's up to her mom. Do you want to play Roza?" she asked looking down at me._

 _"uh huh but I don't think mommy will let me," I said pouting._

 _"Why would you say that?" she asked bending down in front of me._

 _"She never lets me do anything fun. She only let me in dance because Lissa's mommy asked and said she'd take me. When I tried she said no."_

 _"Would you like me to call her and ask her for you?"_

 _"You would do that?" I asked excited._

 _"Why don't you all go back in the living room and finish watching tv and I'll call her right now?"_

 _"Ok!" I half-yelled running into the living room. Quickly, Dimitri got bored so him, Viktoria and, I went outside to play hide and seek. Since Vika was only three and Dimitri was faster than both of us me and her teamed up against him. We continued to play until Karolina called us for dinner._

 _"Did you talk to my mom?" I asked Olena scared she said no. She nodded and smiled. "She said I can play? Really?"_

 _"Yep. I'm going to go sign you up this weekend when I sign Dimitri up for baseball," she said grinning. I ran up to her and hugged her hard. "I'm going to be the one taking you to practices and games."_

 _"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" I told her before running back to the house yelling "Guys guess what?! My mom said yes!"_

 **Present:**

Surprisingly once I got into the studio it was empty. Instead of looking for them I went over to the piano and started playing a song I had been working on that seems pretty appropriate right now.

 **I never thought that you and I would ever meet again.**

 **I mourned the loss of you sometimes and pray for peace within.**

 **The word distraught can not describe how my heart has been.**

 **But where do we begin now that you're back from the dead**

 **Where do we begin now that you're back from the dead**

 **Where do we begin now that you're back from the dead**

As I was singing I caught movement in the sound booth. I turned and saw Dimitri press a button and kept singing. I looked back at the piano.

 **I held a funeral the day you left**

 **A black umbrella and a sad song in my head**

 **Buried your picture that I loved the most**

 **Cause if you survived me I just didn't want to know**

 **So you can't just come back now, like a demon uninvited**

 **No you can't just expect me to open my door to you because**

 **I never thought that you and I would ever meet again**

 **I mourned the loss of you sometimes and pray for peace within.**

 **The word distraught can not describe how my heart has been.**

 **But where do we begin now that you're back from the dead**

 **Where do we begin now that you're back from the dead**

 **Where do we begin now that you're back from the dead**

I looked back at Dimitri and sang the rest of the song watching him.

 **I'm so confused I don't know what to feel**

 **Should I throw my arms around you or kill you for real**

 **Cause I worked so hard to put the past to rest**

 **Now its tumbling down on me just like an avalanche**

 **So you can't just come back now, like a demon uninvited**

 **No you can't just expect me to open my door to you because**

 **I never thought that you and I would ever meet again**

 **I mourned the loss of you sometimes and pray for peace within.**

 **The word distraught can not describe how my heart has been.**

 **But where do we begin now that you're back from the dead**

 **Where do we begin now that you're back from the dead**

 **Where do we begin now that you're back from the dead**

When the song was over I stood up.

"You and Adrian all good now?" I asked.

"Yep," Adrian said from behind me. I gasped and whipped around not hearing him enter.

"My god can you quit doing that? You keep scaring the shit out of me!" I exclaimed.

"Well I might not ever stop if you keep calling me God. In fact I could get pretty used to that," he said with a wink.

"Pig," I laughed.

"Can you please get through with what you came in here for so we can finish up?" Dimitri interrupted sounding annoyed.

"Excuse him, he's always like this," Adrian said pretending to whisper, knowing Dimitri could hear him anyways.

"Oh he's always an asshole? Hmm.." I laughed looking back at Dimitri before continuing. "So it's not just me that he's a dick too." At that Adrian choked before laughing hard.

"Oh my God girl you have balls that's for sure."

"I promise, I really don't," I joked back.

"Are you sure? I mean I could check for you," he teased taking a step towards me pretending to reach for my pants.

"ADRIAN! Hurry it up and leave!" Dimitri barked.

"Fine, Fine. Don't want you to have a heart attack over there," he said throwing his hands up in surrender. "I came to introduce myself and see if you were as good as I'd heard and it turns out you're even better. So I was wondering if you want to help me work on a song that I've been stuck on?"

"Yea, I'd love to help. But I don't know how much I can help. No offense but, we don't exactly have the same style," I said hesitantly.

"You'd be surprised. Just try it out. I'll be in studio B for a while longer tonight and all day tomorrow. Stop by anytime," he said turning towards the door. Before he walked out he turned around, "Oh and Rose I would warn you not to anger the Russian over there but it seems like you've got in all under control."

He gave me a knowing smile and walked out.

"So I'm a dick and an asshole?" Dimitri asked as I turned back towards him. I just shrugged.

"If the shoe fits."

""Don't get involved with him," he warned. I tried to raise an eyebrow questioningly but failed causing him to smirk.

"I may have changed since you knew me but I'm not a cheater," I said defensively.

"I'm not saying that, I'm just saying stay away from him. Don't go help him with his song, we have songwriters for that."

"What does it matter to you who I'm friends with?" he could sense this was about to be another argument so he held his hands up.

"I'm just trying to warn you."

"The next time you feel like you should warn me about who I can and cannot be friends with, maybe you should call your girlfriend. Now can I sing?"

"Sure. What's next? Some thing else like that last one?"

"Do you mean something else about you? Fine are you happy now? Yes I do have quite a few songs about you. Considering you were my best friend for years and you WERE my first love, it would be surprising if I didn't. BUT that does not mean that I'm not over you," I said honestly.

"Well don't hold back now."

"Are you sure you can handle it?" I smarted off.

"I'm a big boy," he retorted.

"You asked for it," I laughed when I was hit with an awesome idea.

 **So since I'm not your everything (irreplaceable)**

 **How about I'll be nothing (nothing)? Nothing at all to you (nothing, nothing)**

 **Baby I won't shed a tear for you (I won't shed a tear for you)**

 **I won't lose a wink of sleep (a wink of sleep)**

 **'Cause the truth of the matter is (truth is)**

 **Replacing you is so easy**

 **To the left, to the left.**

 **To the left, to the left.**

"How about we try a song you actually wrote," Dimitri interrupted.

"Took you long enough," I smirked then shook my head. "I was just getting into it too!"

"Yes well how about you quit stealing from Beyonce and sing something of your own,"

"Aw you're no fun," I said fake pouting.

"And quit that!" he said sounding aggravated.

"Quit what?" I asked innocently, widening my eyes.

"Quit trying to use sarcasm and humor as a shield. It's not working," he said seeing right through my charade. I admit I am, that way he can't see what I'm really feeling…and also to stall singing songs about him to him.

"Don't know what you're talking about," I said returning to my guitar tuning it for the next song.

"Yes you do. Quit." He told me. "What's next?"

"Well you want one about you, here ya go. This ones called Who Knew," I said grabbing my guitar and sitting on the stool in front of the mic.

 **You took my hand  
You showed me how  
You promised me you'd be around  
Uh huh  
That's right  
I took your words  
And I believed  
In everything  
You said to me  
Yeah huh  
That's right**

 **If someone said three years from now  
You'd be long gone  
I'd stand up and punch them out  
Cause they're all wrong  
I know better  
Cause you said forever  
And ever  
Who knew**

 **Remember when we were such fools  
And so convinced and just too cool  
Oh no  
No no  
I wish I could touch you again  
I wish I could still call you friend  
I'd give anything**

 **When someone said count your blessings now  
'fore they're long gone  
I guess I just didn't know how  
I was all wrong  
They knew better  
Still you said forever  
And ever  
Who knew**

 **Yeah yeah  
I'll keep you locked in my head  
Until we meet again  
Until we  
Until we meet again  
And I won't forget you my friend  
What happened**

 **If someone said three years from now  
You'd be long gone  
I'd stand up and punch them out  
Cause they're all wrong and  
That last kiss  
I'll cherish  
Until we meet again  
And time makes  
It harder  
I wish I could remember  
But I keep  
Your memory  
You visit me in my sleep  
My darling  
Who knew  
My darling  
My darling  
Who knew  
My darling  
I miss you  
My darling  
Who knew  
Who knew**

When I finished I looked up at Dimitri. He was looking down.

"Want more?" I asked.

"Sure,"

"So this one is a little better. It's one of my favorites," I said getting behind the piano. I started playing and kept my eyes on the keys.

 **I tried to find you at the bottom of a bottle**

 **Laying down on the bathroom floor**

 **My loneliness was a rattle in the windows**

 **You said you don't want me anymore**

 **And you left me**

 **Standing on a corner crying,**

 **Feeling like a fool for trying**

 **I don't even remember**

 **Why I'm wasting all these tears on you**

 **I wish I could erase our memory**

 **Cause you didn't give a damn about me**

 **Oh, finally I'm through**

 **Wasting all these tears on you**

 **These tears on you**

 **You ain't worth another sleepless night**

 **And I'll do everything I gotta do to get you off my mind**

 **Cause what you wanted I couldn't get**

 **What you did, boy I'll never forget**

 **And you left me**

 **Standing on a corner crying**

 **Feeling like a fool for trying**

 **I don't even remember**

 **Why I'm wasting all these tears on you**

 **I wish I could erase our memory**

 **Cause you didn't give a damn about me**

 **Oh, finally I'm through**

 **Wasting all these tears on you**

 **These tears on you**

 **And you left me**

 **Standing on a corner crying**

 **Feeling like a fool for trying**

 **I don't even remember**

 **Why I'm wasting all these tears on you**

 **I wish I could erase our memory**

 **Cause you didn't give a damn about me**

 **Oh, finally I'm through**

 **Wasting all these tears on you**

 **These tears on you**

 **I tried to find you at the bottom of a bottle**

 **Laying down on the bathroom floor**

I paused for a minute when I was done.

"So I drove you to drinking?" he asked. I shrugged.

"Not just you, some other stuff happened. I started drinking for a little bit about 8 months after you left. Didn't last long though." I said like it wasn't a big deal.

"If it wasn't me what was it?" he pushed.

"Don't. You already knew I wasn't going to answer that so don't ask it," I warned. He has always had a way of pushing me into letting him in further than anyone else has ever been but, not this time.

"Sorry. I'm just curious," he said honestly.

"Any how, I'm going to sing this next song but, I feel like I need to give a little explanation. I'm not going to fully explain it but I'll give you a minor explanation. After you left, I moved on and I was doing well, then some stuff happened and I kept wishing you were there and for a quick minute I blamed you for everything that happened. I was completely emotional and not thinking right but out came this song and it's one of my favorites now. I want you to know that I don't blame you for anything that happened after you left, not anymore. I would have just thrown this song away but I like it too much. Anyways this ones called nightmare.

 **He-eyy! Feels like I'm asleep, but I'm awake  
In this dream I never see your face  
I'm just a step behind  
He-eyy! Can't remember why you went away  
Pinch me cause I know it's a mistake  
I wanna see your eyes**

 **I woke up in another life  
When nothing's really dangerous  
And everything is black and white  
And no one even knows  
I woke up in a broken dream  
With no one lying next to me  
It's not how it's supposed to be  
So why'd you have to go?**

 **I'm still trying, to wake up from this  
From this nightmare, from this nightmare  
Where everything is, in its right place  
But you're not there, no you're not there**

 **The quiet's getting loud  
He-eyy! Everyone keeps saying I'm okay  
One more night alone I'll go insane  
I need to hold you now**

 **I woke up in another life  
When nothing's really dangerous  
And everything is black and white  
And no one even knows  
I woke up in a broken dream  
With no one lying next to me  
It's not how it's supposed to be  
So why'd you have to go?**

 **I'm still trying, to wake up from this  
From this nightmare, from this nightmare  
Where everything is, in its right place  
But you're not there, no you're not there**

 **Suddenly I can almost see you  
Feel the heat of your breath on my skin  
Scared to death but I'm only dreaming  
Suddenly I can see you fading  
Going on, but my heart starts racing  
Scared to death cause I know I'm dreaming**

 **I'm still trying, to wake up from this  
From this nightmare, from this nightmare  
Where everything is, in its right place  
But you're not there, no you're not there**

"So. That emotional enough for you?" I asked. Not knowing what to say.

"Why'd you blame me?" he asked softly.

"I was young. I had just been through a lot of shit that most adults haven't experienced so I was over emotional and not rational," I rambled.

"But why'd you blame me if it happened after I was gone?" he asked knowingly. I hung my head down and looked at the designs in the rug in the middle of the floor.

"You weren't there," I said softly. I heard him inhale sharply. "I had a bunch of anger and hatred and it felt good to put it on someone else. Someone besides myself. So it went to you. I convinced myself if you had been there it would have never even happened. Then when that didn't work out it turned to 'I would just be ok if Dimitri was here' but you never came. But that was years ago and I've grown up now and I faced reality and I'm doing good now."

"Doesn't seem like it," Dimitri said softly, his voice giving away to actual emotion.

"I am Dimitri. Being around you has brought _everything_ back up but, if you would have seen me 3 years ago, you'd see how far I've come. Hell even a year ago. I will always hurt and my heart will never be whole again but it's not your fault, you weren't there, it's mine. I'm working on stitching the pieces back up and I'm getting better everyday. Am I still pissed at you for leaving? Yes. Am I still pissed at you for abandoning your family? Definitely. But I don't think I hate you anymore. I just wish I understood," He went to defend himself so I quickly continued. "I know you're not going to tell me right now but it's not going to stop me from wondering and asking. Now I have one more song to do about you then I'm moving on to something else."

"Ok, have at it." I grabbed my guitar and getting sitting on the stool in front of the main mic.

 **What you said when you left  
Just left me cold and out of breath.  
I fell too far, was in way too deep.  
Guess I let you get the best of me.**

 **Well, I never saw it coming.  
I should've started running  
A long, long time ago.  
And I never thought I'd doubt you,  
I'm better off without you  
More than you, more than you know.  
I'm slowly getting closure.  
I guess it's really over.  
I'm finally getting better.  
And now I'm picking up the pieces.  
I'm spending all of these years  
Putting my heart back together.  
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,  
I got over you.**

 **You took a hammer to these walls,  
Dragged the memories down the hall,  
Packed your bags and walked away.  
There was nothing I could say.  
And when you slammed the front door shut,  
A lot of others opened up,  
So did my eyes so I could see  
That you never were the best for me.**

 **Well, I never saw it coming.  
I should've started running  
A long, long time ago.  
And I never thought I'd doubt you,  
I'm better off without you  
More than you, more than you know.  
I'm slowly getting closure.  
I guess it's really over.  
I'm finally getting better.  
And now I'm picking up the pieces.  
I'm spending all of these years  
Putting my heart back together.  
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,  
I got over you.**

 **Well, I never saw it coming.  
I should've started running  
A long, long time ago.  
And I never thought I'd doubt you,  
I'm better off without you  
More than you, more than you know.**

 **Well, I never saw it coming.  
I should've started running  
A long, long time ago.  
And I never thought I'd doubt you,  
I'm better off without you  
More than you, more than you know.  
I'm slowly getting closure.  
I guess it's really over.  
I'm finally getting better.  
And now I'm picking up the pieces.  
I'm spending all of these years  
Putting my heart back together.  
Well I'm putting my heart back together,  
'Cause I got over you.  
Well I got over you.  
I got over you.  
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,  
I got over you**.

"Ouch. Guess I deserved that." Dimitri half-laughed through the microphone.

"Dimitri. Honestly, you deserve much worse than that but i'll be nice tonight," I told him honestly. "Now I'll still sing emotional songs if you want but I'm done singing songs about you at least for tonight."

"That's fine. If you want to do a couple more we can wrap up and call it a night. You said earlier you weren't wanting to record all of these, are you wanting most of these to be demos?"

"Yea probably. They're great songs, just not the sound I'm wanting to put out. I want to record a few of them but like the last one, 'Over you' I always imagined it as a more rock song and better with a guy singing it."

"I agree. Good work though."

"Thanks. And thanks for the inspiration," I teased.

"You're welcome? What next?"

"This one is not about you, despite what you're going to think. I'm also not going to tell you what it's about so, enjoy," I said going over to the piano.

 **I finally kept my pride  
And hailed a cab  
Those cuttin words you said  
Were the last stab  
There'll be no tears this time  
They've all dried up  
No more sweet poison  
I already drank that cup  
This tunnel's dark  
But there's a little light glowing  
Bright enough for me to run toward knowing**

 **Nothing in this world will ever break my heart again  
Nothing in this world will ever break my heart again  
No pain this life will put me through  
Will ever ever hurt like you**

 **Don't need a miracle  
A superhero  
There's only one way up  
When you're at zero  
You took my innocence  
But it was knowing  
No i don't need you  
And that made me a woman  
I paid my dues  
But that's a debt I'm done paying  
I'm standing strong  
But I'm still on my knees praying**

 **Nothing in this world will ever break my heart again  
Nothing in this world will ever break my heart again  
No pain this life will put me through  
Will ever ever hurt like you**

"So yea, there's that one."

"And you won't tell me what it's about?" he questioned.

"You going to tell me why you never called?"

"No."

"Then nope," I said popping the 'p'.

"You're very frustrating."

"Back at ya Belikov. So I'm about to frustrate you even more and probably myself but you wanted emotional. I have no idea why the hell I'm about to do this particular song but for some reason I feel like attempting it. Now I have never sang this song out loud or shared it with anyone so if it sucks don't let me know. Hopefully I can even get through it. And again no I'm definitely NOT telling you about this one," I said already dreading what was about to happen. I honestly don't know why I was about to do THIS song in front of HIM but it's like I'm possessed and can't help myself. Maybe it will be a good thing, who knows. I softly started playing.

 **How can I say this without breaking  
How can I say this without taking over  
How can I put it down into words  
When it's almost too much for my soul alone**

 **I loved and I loved and I lost you  
I loved and I loved and I lost you  
I loved and I loved and I lost you  
And it hurts like hell  
Yeah it hurts like hell**

 **I don't want them to know the secrets  
I don't want them to know the way I loved you  
I don't think they'd understand it, no**

 **I loved and I loved and I lost you  
I loved and I loved and I lost you  
I loved and I loved and I lost you  
And it hurts like hell  
Yeah it hurts like hell**

 **Dreams fight with machines  
Inside my head like adversaries  
Come wrestle me free  
Clean from the war**

 **Your heart fits like a key  
Into the lock on the wall  
I turn it over, I turn it over  
But I can't escape  
I turn it over, I turn it over**

 **I loved and I loved and I lost you  
I loved and I loved and I lost you  
I loved and I loved and I lost you  
And it hurts like hell**

By the last sentence my voice broke and I had a tear run down my cheek. I paused for a moment to calm down, luckily Dimitri stayed silent. Probably confused as hell.

"I have to go to the bathroom," I said softly before standing up and walking out the door but instead of going towards the bathrooms I went towards the back door where Eddie showed me an alley that you could escape to if need be. I leaned up against the brick wall before sliding down it and sitting on the broken asphalt.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," I muttered to myself softly banging the back of my head against the wall behind me with each word as tears started falling down my face. I had done so good so far but with one song I lost it. I knew that song was a bad idea. I brought my knees up to my chest and laid my head on them, trying to get a hold of my emotions and stop the tears. Pretty soon a door opening startled me. I looked up to see Dimitri standing in the door way.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Perfect!" I said with a fake smile. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"The mascara running down your cheeks says a different story," he said before he came over and sat down beside me.

"Then why'd you ask comrade? And really why do you care? I'll be fine in a minute." I said harsher than I'd intended to.

"I know you're not going to believe this but, I do still care about you," he admitted. I snorted. "That's unladylike Hathaway."

"Well I'm not a lady," I said softly giving him a half smile.

"Want to talk about it?" he asked.

"Not with you," I told him honestly.

"I figured." He said softly. We sat there for a minute in silence. "It stopped raining."

"I didn't notice. I forgot it had been raining," I said looking around wiping the last of the tears from my cheeks. "Still believe I can't possibly have problems? One song and I'm sitting in an alley way crying and getting my ass soaked."

"Mental problems don't count, you've always had those," he teased softly.

"Shut up!" I said actually smiling this time. "You know even though I've never shown that song to anyone or even sang it before that was the song that made me decide that I wanted to become a singer/song-writer."

"Why?"

"Because I had been dealing with a lot of stuff and I didn't know how to handle it when one day Olena suggested to write it down…So I did and out came that song and even though I didn't actually feel better, I felt a little lighter. After that I didn't stop writing for like a week. I decided I wanted to keep writing and share my writing with the world."

"It's a beautiful song. I'm sorry you had to go through whatever it is you had to go through," he said sincerely, making me immediately feel bad.

"Yea well shit happens but thanks," I stood up. "By the way this doesn't change anything."

"I would be surprised if it did," he smiled standing up.

"Come on let's go finish up, so we can call it a night," I said heading to the door. Dimitri beat me to it and held it open for me. I muttered a thanks as I walked through and headed towards the studio.

"We can call it a night if you want. As long as you promise to keep it up tomorrow."

"Going easy on me now Belikov? That's not like you." I teased. He shrugged.

"What can I say? It won't happen again." He warned.

"Ok one more. With all of these depressing songs I want to end on a high…well higher note,"

"Go ahead," he said getting behind the sound board. I got behind the piano.

"Your sister actually helped me out a little bit with this song. So writing cred goes to her," I said exaggerating a little. She did help with a couple of lines but I wrote most of it. "It's called I believe."

 **I believe if I'd knew where I was going, I'd lose my way  
I believe that the words that he told you are not your grave  
I know that we are not the weight of all our memories  
I believe in the things that I am afraid to say**

 **Hold on, hold on**

 **I believe in the lost possibilities you can see  
And I believe that the darkness reminds us where light can be  
I know that your heart is still beating, beating darling  
I believe that you fell so you can land next to me**

 **'Cause I have been where you are before  
And I have felt the pain of losing who you are  
And I have died so many times, but I am still alive**

 **I believe that tomorrow is stronger than yesterday  
And I believe that your head is the only thing in your way  
I wish that you could see your scars turn in to beauty  
I believe that today it's okay to be not okay**

 **Hold on, hold on**

 **'Cause I have been where you are before  
And I have felt the pain of losing who you are  
And I have died so many times, but I am still alive**

 **This is not the end of me, this is the beginning** _ **[x4]**_ **  
(Hold on)  
This is not the end of me, this is the beginning  
(Hold on)  
This is not the end of me, this is the beginning  
(Hold on (I am still alive)  
This is not the end of me, this is the beginning  
(Hold on (I am still alive)  
This is not the end of me, this is the beginning  
(Hold on (I am still alive)  
This is not the end of me, this is the beginning  
(Hold on (I am still alive)  
This is not the end of me, this is the beginning  
(Hold on (I am still alive)  
This is not the end of me, this is the beginning  
(Hold on (I am still alive)  
This is not the end of me, this is the beginning**

As I sang the last part my voice got stronger with each line until I faded out at the end.

"That's a wrap," I said softly.

"That was good. Great song," he said through the mic. "You've given me a lot to work with."

"Well glad I could be of service now I'm going to go help Adrian write a song," I said getting out from behind the piano and grabbing my guitar. I was putting it in it's case when Dimitri spoke up again.

"I still say it's a bad idea."

"And I still say that you should stay out of it. What do you have against Adrian anyways?"

"He's a cocky, playboy and he'll be bad for your reputation."

"If being friends with him ruins my reputation then oh well. All I care about is getting my music out there. I know who I am and I'm going to be friends with who I want to be friends with besides who says he's not exactly my type? Who says I'm not a big partier now a days?" I asked. He raised an eyebrow at me in question. "I've been through my phases. And hey, I now have red hair and a pierced nose. Oh and I have tattoos. I'm wild, man."

"YOU have tattoos? Where?" he asked shocked.

"Yep. None of your business. Later," I said pulling my guitar case strap over my shoulder and walking out the door

"I'm just warning you. He's not good for you," he hollered after me.

Goodnight Dimitri," I responded heading towards the other studio where Adrian was.

 **Songs used:**

 **Back from the Dead- Skylar Grey**

 **Irreplaceable- Beyonce (small clip)**

 **Who Knew- Pink**

 **Wasting All These Tears- Cassadee Pope**

 **Nightmare- Miley Cyrus ( though, the acoustic version sound was inspired by a cover from Davina Leone)**

 **Over You- Daughtry**

 **Nothing In This World Will Ever Break My Heart- Hayden Panettierre (From Tv show Nashville)**

 **Hurts like Hell- Fleurie**

 **I Believe- Christina Perri**

 **AN: Almost every song has lyrics taken out to fit this story better. Back From the Dead and Nightmare have rap solos taken out. The rest are mostly just lines here and there.**


	10. Chapter 9 ME TARZAN, HER JANE

**Updated AN: Ok Everyone this is super important! I accidentally posted the wrong chapter! The chapter I had posted was from the old story and not the current version! If you have already read chapter 10 this one is completely different! So read it again lol!**

 **Original AN: Hey! So please Don't hate me! I promise I will be so much better! A LOT has happened this summer! Between Camp, then I had to leave camp 3 weeks early because I had to have emergency gall bladder surgery then post-op complications! But, Camp is over, my health has gotten better and the new school semester is starting so I should be ok to update at least every other week like planned if not sooner.**

 **This chapter has not been Beta'd but the next few should be! On the plus side this is probably the longest chapter I have ever written! If you read the previous story before the re-write this was two chapters but I decided to combine them for you lovely people because you deserve it! Depending on the reactions I might post the next chapter pretty soon because I have the next 3 already written! I actually finished them before this one….sorry. I have ADHD so when it hits I have to write it out or else I'll forget it and be stumped forever lol**

 **IMPORTANT: I need some ideas for flashbacks! I have received a few and will be using them and I have most of the major flashbacks but I still need some small ones or filler flashbacks. What are some things you and your significant others do or things you and your friends do? I grew up in a small town and was a theatre junkie so I didn't do much lol I need y'alls life experiences or things you wished you'd done or something you just want to see Rose and Dimitri or others do! There's going to be a lot more chapters than I have flashbacks for so help a girl out! :)**

 **Oh and when it comes to the singing** _Rose is Italics_ **and Adrian is Bold** _ **Both is Bold and Italics**_

 **A few weeks after Rose's date with Reed (Rose a freshman Dimitri a Junior)**

 _A Few weeks later Reed and I were still going out. It seemed like even though Dimitri still didn't care for Reed he had accepted it and was handling it better. He still played the role of my protector which I secretly loved but acted annoyed with all the time. It was nice to know someone had my back and cared enough to want to protect me. Tonight was the night of the Homecoming dance. The game had been yesterday and we had won of course. Lissa and I were getting ready at her house. Her uncle Victor was away on business so it was just me and her at the house tonight. My dad was in town so I was staying at Lissa's tonight._

 _"So has he tried to do anything?" Lissa asked. She was doing my make up then we were done._

 _"No, I told him I wasn't ready for that and he said ok and hasn't brought it up since. I'm actually surprised from his reputation I thought he would have pushed harder but he's actually respected my boundries," I told her as she did my eyes._

 _"That's good. I'm glad to see it's working out for you," she said._

 _"How about you and Aaron?" I asked._

 _"It's good, I'm kind of worried though. He's sweet and a really nice guy but I feel like we don't have much in common at all," She said. "There finished. Now put your dress on."_

 _"Well you've only been dating a few weeks. I'm sure it will come with time. Me and Reed don't really have anything in common but we make it work. I bet tonight will change your mind. We're going to have the best night," I told her as I changed into my dress. "Can you zip me?"_

 _"I'm sure you're right. I'm just over thinking it." She said zipping my dress up. I was wearing a purple sleek dress, it had a halter top and stopped at mid-thigh. The skirt was all ruffled and bunched. Lissa was in a pale pink dress that went to mid calf. It was sleeveless and the top was tight but when it hit her hips it flared out in a pretty flowing fashion. We'd both curled our hair and pinned them up half up and half down. Lissa had done our make up. She did a pretty basic purple smoky eye on me with a light red lipstick. For hers she did a light green eyeshadow and pale pink lip gloss._

 _"We look hot!" I laughed._

 _An hour later found us walking into the dance. The cafeteria was decorated in school colors with streamers and banners lights were down low and they had colored lights and a disco ball._

 _"This is so cliché!" I laughed. It looked like every homecoming dance in every movie I'd ever watched. I saw Dimitri across the room. I turned towards Reed. "Hey I'm going to go say hi to Dimitri. I'll be right back!"_

 _I made my way over to Dimitri. He had his back to me. So I tapped on his back. He turned towards me._

 _"Wow!" he said looking at me. "Who knew there was a girl under all that mud?"_

 _"Jerk!" I laughed and playfully slapped his shoulder._

 _"Kidding. You look beautiful Roza. Are you having a good night?" he asked._

 _"Well it just started so yep."_

 _"Where's Reed?" he asked his face turning at the mention of Reeds name._

 _"He's over there, I wanted to come say hi. Where's your date?"_

 _"She's in the bathroom. He doesn't look too happy to see you over here with me," he said laughing. I shrugged my shoulders._

 _"Oh well. He'll get over it. I think we're going to Aarons after the dance. Are you going to his party?" I asked._

 _"I am now," he smirked. He then looked over at Reed. "I have to keep an eye on him."_

 _"Oh whatever. I'll have you know he's been a perfect gentleman all night and every night we've gone out. Maybe you were wrong."_

 _"Oh I'm not wrong but I'm not going to argue with you about it tonight. Go have fun. Save me a dance."_

" _I have to go back to Reed but find me on the dance floor."_

 _"Have fun but be careful. No dirty dancing, I'm watching," he warned. I rolled my eyes and walked back towards Reed._

 _"Did you really have to ditch me the moment we walked in?" Reed asked when I got to him._

 _"I'm sorry I didn't think you'd mind. You know Dimitri's my friend," I said looking up at him._

 _"I know," he said leaning down and giving me a soft kiss on the lips. "Come on lets go dance."_

 _We made our way through the dance floor to where Lissa and Aaron were. Dimitri's new girlfriend was a cheerleader with Lissa and Dimitri and Aaron are best friends so it was really no surprise that Dimitri and Megan, I think her name is, made their way over to us. Before too long Mason and his date came up beside us. We all danced for a while, somehow we ended up by the makeshift stage they had in here. Before long the 'cupid shuffle' came on and I found myself on stage with Lissa and a bunch of other girls. Somehow I ended up in the front row. Before long I was laughing almost too hard to actually dance. At one point we were facing the left wall of the cafeteria, I was laughing at mason who had jumped on but didn't really know what he was doing so he was making up his own dance moves. We were facing the left wall moving to the right when mason messed up so I started laughing without realizing how close I was to the edge. Before I knew it I was falling. Before I could I got very far though I felt hands catch me. I looked up to see Dimitri laughing down at me._

 _"Whoops," I laughed._

 _"You ok there?" he asked smiling at me._

 _"Yep, there just wasn't as much stage as I thought there was," I explained. He just nodded making a very patronizing face. "Hey its not as easy as it looks!"_

 _"I'm sure it isn't," he laughed. Right then the song changed into another line dance except this one was a country one._

 _"Come one," I told him pulling his arm. "You're doing this one with me!"_

 _"Or not." he said looking at me like I'm crazy._

 _"Oh no, you're gonna laugh at me so you can come dance with me."_

 _"I don't line dance."_

 _"Come on its easy. Pretty much just 4 steps with a few turns," I pretended to pout. "Please?"_

 _"Fine. But you'll regret this!"_

 _"Yes! Thank you!" I said giving him a quick hug. "Now hurry up!"_

 _I got him on the stage and looked to see where they were in the dance. Luckily they were starting the sequence over and hadn't sped up yet. "Ok it's pretty simple."_

 _He caught on pretty quickly but still kept messing up every once in a while. Mason was still up there making up his own dances once he realized he didn't know this one either, making us all laugh. Pretty soon the song was over and a new country song came on but this time it wasn't a line dance. It was a two step._

 _"Can I have this dance?" Dimitri asked holding his hand out towards me._

 _"You can," I told him giggling. The dance floor quickly got full so we stayed on the stage. This time he had to show me how to do the two step. I knew the general idea of it but had never done it before._

 _"It's pretty much. 2 steps forward one backwards. One, Two, back. One, two, back." he told me. I caught on pretty quickly. Halfway through it he surprised me by throwing some spins in._

 _"Having a good night still?" he asked as the dance was almost over._

 _"One of the best," told him smiling. He spun me again and as the song ended he finished with a dip. I giggled as I felt a flutter in my chest. As he brought me back up to standing I looked around and saw we had drawn a small crowd of people watching us. Two of which didn't look so thrilled. "Guess we should probably get back to our dates."_

 _"Probably. Thank you for the dance Roza," Dimitri said before kissing my hand and walking off. I rolled my eyes and walked over to Reed._

 _"Hey! I'm hot, want to go get a drink with me?" I asked him._

 _"Sure," he said still not looking too happy._

 _"What's wrong please tell me it's not me dancing with Dimitri? I've told you, were just friends."_

 _"Well it doesn't exactly make me thrilled to see my date all over another guy." He said as we got to the line for water._

 _"I wasn't all over him. I fell off the stage and he caught me. Then we danced. We didn't even dance close. It wasn't anything romantic at all. We've grown up together. We're friends. We danced. Not a big deal."_

 _"You're right let me go find another girl and act like that with her and see how you feel."_

 _"Ok now you're being crazy. I'm sorry that upset you. But if you want to be in my life you're going to have to accept that Dimitri is my best friend and going to be in my life."_

 _"Look I'm sorry. I get it you're friends. It's just not something I'm used to. I'll try harder to not get upset in the future." He said smiling at me._

 _"Good. I'm sorry I upset you," I said wrapping my arm around his back in a half hug._

 _"It's all good. You can make it up to me later," he smirked._

 _"I'm still not sleeping with you. Sorry I'm not ready for that."_

 _"Hey we're up. Two waters please," he said to the teacher managing the water cooler. She handed him the waters, he handed me one when no sooner Lissa came up to me and grabbed my arm._

 _"We're getting our pictures done!" she laughed pulling me towards the bathroom._

 _"Be right back!" I laughed. We headed to the bathroom for touch ups before the pictures._

 _"Hows your night going?" I asked her._

 _"Great! How about you?" she said pulling out her lip gloss as I grabbed a paper towel to dab at my face._

 _"Good I think," I said still confused about Reed's comment. "Me and Reed just kind of had a fight. We're good now I think. But he made a comment that I'm unsure of. "_

 _"Well what'd he say?" she asked passing over the lip gloss._

 _"I said I was sorry I upset him and he was like 'you can make it up to me later'. I told him I'm not going to sleep with him but I still don't know what he meant by that."_

 _"Maybe he just meant by hanging out with him at the party. I mean you've kind of been everywhere since we got here and it's understandable, maybe he just wants to hang out with you."_

 _"Maybe. I'm sure that must be what he meant. Oh well I'll worry about it later. Lets go get our pictures taken!" I laughed pulling her out of the bathroom._

 _We grabbed Aaron, and Reed. As we were about to walk into the room I saw Dimitri and mason and waved them to come in. first we did all the couples, then me and Lissa did a few pictures. Then we did a group pic. First we did a serious group picture with everyone smiling. Then we decided to do a couple of silly ones first I did one with my tongue sticking out making a crazy face. Then I jumped on Dimitri's back. I threw my hand up in the air and made a silly face. I saw Reed make a face but then shrugged._

 _"Are yall ready to leave? I need to get to the house to start setting up for the party," Aaron asked coming over to me with Lissa on his arm._

 _"Yea I am," Reed said._

 _"Me too," I agreed._

 **Present Day~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

I walked into the studio to find Adrian lying on a couch looking like he's sound asleep.

"Aren't you supposed to be writing? Or doing something?"

"I am. It's called the creative process." He said not moving.

"The creative process includes sleeping?" I joked sitting in the producers chair behind the sound board looking at Adrian.

"When you're stuck it does. So you and Belikov huh?" he smirked raising an eyebrow but not opening his eye.

"Oh please not this," I scoffed. "Don't you people have anything better to do than gossip about Dimitri and me?"

"Well you see I've known that man for a couple of years now and I've barely ever gotten that kind of reaction from him and I purposely piss him off for my own amusement. I've even flirted with Tasha and not gotten that reaction from him. So I want to know what the deal is with you two," he said finally opening his eyes and looking at me.

"Yea I doubt that. If anything it's because he still see's me as the little girl that he thought needed protecting, not realizing that I've grown up. "

"Oh no that wasn't big brother protecting little sister that was full on 'ME TARZAN. HER JANE. YOU NO TOUCH!'" he said sitting up and deepening his voice for his little imitation before throwing his fists against his chest like a gorilla.

"Oh please!" I laughed.

"I'm not lying. That was a full on 'she's mine you don't touch' lecture when you were gone without him actually saying those words. More of 'stay away from her and don't pull her into your crap'. So why did I just get threatened by Putin."

"Putin? Really?" I laughed again.

"One of his many nicknames," he smirked. "Now spill."

"Ugh fine." I said throwing my hands up as he smiled and laid back down putting his hands behind his head. "We grew up together. I've known him since grade school. Then when I was seventeen he left for LA to join his band and that was that. Happy now?"

"Nope there's more."

"Yea there is but it's personal so I really don't feel like talking about it."

"Let me guess, you dated all through middle school and were high school sweethearts, prom king and Queen. Then he left against your will and broke your heart. That's so cliché."

"And you're such an ass. We didn't start dating until his senior year my sophomore. We weren't prom king and queen. And I told him to leave. Though I did have every intention of following him until he broke up with me the day he left. Now can we please be done with this?" I asked.

"You know you could always leave," he teased.

"I could but then who would help you write your next stupid pop hit?" I asked sarcastically.

"Rawr kitty's got claws. You think my music is stupid?" he asked sitting up.

"It's not stupid. It's catchy. Just like every other pop song on the radio." I pointed out.

"Well then it's a good thing you came." He pulled a journal off of the ground beside the couch. "I'm wanting to change my sound. Been wanting to for a while. I like this pop stuff and it sells but it's not what I want to do anymore. That's why I asked for your help."

"Why me specifically? You hadn't even met me when you came looking for me in the studio. What if I sucked?"

"Trust me they wouldn't be making such a big deal over you if you sucked plus I watched your video."

"My video?" I asked confused.

"Eddie recorded you the other night at the bar. Didn't he tell you that?"

"No!"

"Oh yea, how else was he supposed to get them to sign you so fast. It was good."

"Thanks," I muttered.

"But that isn't the only reason I need your help. I'm writing a duet. I want to release it and see what the reaction is from my fans. If they like it I'll keep going with that sound, if not…I'll reevaluate."

"And you want me to sing with you?" I questioned shocked he wanted to do a duet with me.

"I figure one your voice is amazing so they'll have to love it. Two this will help skyrocket your career. And third well third I wanted to get to know you," he winked.

"You're relentless," I smiled.

"I can show you just how relentless I can be," he said giving me a playboy smile that I'm sure would melt most girls.

"I'll do the song but I'm not going to date you or hook up with you. Just letting you know up front. We can be friends but absolutely nothing more." I warned.

"Aye Aye boss," he saluted winking at me. "Can I still flirt though?"

"Could I stop you if I tried?" I teased.

"Probably not," he admitted after pretending to think about it for a second or two. "Plus it makes you laugh."

"Ok now about this song…"

An hour later we were pretty much done writing and I was reading through some of Adrian's songs he had written in his journal as he was reading through one of my journals. His idea.

"These are really good Adrian. Why haven't you published any before?" I asked.

"I've tried but the timing was always off. I've sold a few so other singers have released them. That's why I want to start with a duet. I think we need to go celebrate and call it a night."

"Celebrate what? We haven't finished writing just yet."

"Our newfound friendship. Our new partnership with this song. Whatever you want."

"I'm not dressed to go out," I said looking down at my jeans and flannel shirt.

"Borrow something from wardrobe. They won't care." He shrugged.

"I'm not taking clothes from wardrobe!"

"Oh come on Little red you know you've had a hell of a night. You've been stuck working with your first love who broke your heart for hours. Don't tell me you don't need a drink after that. Shit I need a drink thinking about it!"

"I have a feeling it doesn't take much to 'make you need a drink'," I smarted.

"True but tell me I'm wrong," he countered.

"Ugh fine but we're going to my apartment for me to change," I said grabbing my guitar case and heading out the door of the studio.

When we got to the parking lot there weren't many cars left but I immediately guessed which one was Adrians. A bright red Porsche.

"Nice car," I muttered.

"Thank you. I thought it'd be a good car to hide from the paparazzi. Somehow though they still keep finding me," he joked opening my door and walking to his side. I put my guitar in the back seat and climbed in.

"I think the color might be tipping them off. Should've tried canary yellow," I smarted off as he pulled out of the parking spot. "Maybe glow in the dark."

"Oh that's on my lambo," he said non-chalant.

"Please tell me you're kidding and do not have a glow in the dark Lamborghini?" I asked shocked.

"Oh don't I wish," he smiled. I shook my head and laughed at him.

Before too long we were pulling up to my apartments.

"Wait here," I said climbing out and grabbing my guitar and bag. I ran up the stairs and let myself in. I quickly made my way to my closet and rifled through the clothes before deciding on a burgundy dressy tank top that had just enough flow to not be super tight but still showed my curves and matched my lipstick, and black leggings with some burgundy stillettos. I grabbed my black and burgundy clutch that went with this outfit and threw my keys, id, and debit card (though I'm hoping not to use it) into it before looking in the mirror.

"Somethings off," I muttered. Looking at my makeup, hair, and outfit. Thankfully with Mia's make over I just had to retouch the lipstick and a little mascara. Hair was good. "Jewelry!"

"I went over to my dresser and pulled out my gold hoop earrings and a dangly gold necklace. I took off the silver chain I had tucked in my tank top earlier before closing it and putting it in my clutch to bring with me. I made my way to the front door, locked it then headed back to Adrian's car. He was sitting on the window of the driver's side with his arms on the hood and a cigarette in his mouth. He grabbed the cigarette and flicked it while he wolf-whistled.

"Hot damn little red. You look hot!" he grinned.

"Shut up and get in the car," I laughed. When I got in the car I could still smell the cigarette but didn't say anything, who am I to judge him for his bad habits when I have my own. When we were both in the car and driving down the road, I turned towards him, "What's with the little red?"

"Well A you're hair, now you're outfit. And B you remind me of little red riding hood. Especially now. You should do a sexy red riding hood for Halloween."

"Little red riding hood? Really? Why?"

"You're just naïve enough to believe the wolf at first but then kick his ass afterwards," he smirked.

"I'm not naïve," I protested.

"Why did Dimitri threaten me today?"

"I don't know. Because he's an overprotective asshole and doesn't want you messing up my future career," I shrugged.

"There it is. That little bit."

"Whatever. Where are we going?" I asked knowing it would be pointless to argue plus I was done talking about Dimitri for a while.

"It's this really cool bar that's half club and half karaoke. I know it sounds weird but the owner wanted to open both and had enough money to do it so one half is a dance club and the other part is a casual karaoke bar. It's the best of both worlds."

"Sounds interesting."

Next thing I know we were pulling up to a building with the sign 'Dhampirs" in big lettering on the outside.

"What's Dhampirs? What kind of name is that?" I asked getting out.

"It's actually kind of funny. The owner is into mythology and stuff and came across this term for people who are half vampire half human. He thought it was fitting since this place is also a hybrid."

I just nodded. As I walked in. Luckily there was no line. As soon as I got inside though I was shocked by how packed it was.

"Want to get a drink first?" he asked. I nodded. We made our way to the bar where we both ordered a shot and a drink at Adrian's insistence. Halfway through our drinks I heard 'Me Too' by Meghan Trainor come on.

"Who's that sexy thing I see over there?" Adrian sang as I started laughing. I pointed to myself and finished.

"That's me. Standing in the mirror!" I teased. Both of us quickly downed the rest of our drinks, luckily mine was small. We then quickly headed towards the dance floor both trading lines jokingly. We made our way to the dance floor and finished out the rest of the song. We danced for the next 5 or 6 songs some with each other and some with other people. I danced two songs with a guy that honestly if I was single and into one-night stands like he's looking for would hook-up with. He was the complete anti-Dimitri, blonde hair green eyes just a little taller than me but muscular as hell. He was medium height but stout with piercing eyes. Then I thought about how I just checked him out, _the anti-dimitri_...

I shook my head pissed at that thought, Adrian noticing gave me a look asking if I was ok. I shook my head no but shrugged it off. I danced closer to him, closed my eyes and threw my hands up in the air just focusing on the beat of the Miley Cyrus song playing. I'm not a huge fan of her party music but it is good music to play at a club. Towards the end of the song I felt Adrian come up behind me, I could recognize him from the smell of his cigarettes. I leaned into him but didn't open my eyes.

"You ok?" he asked his mouth right next to my ear so I could hear him. I shook my head no again. "Dimitri?"

I nodded. I turned towards him opening my eyes but continuing to dance. By now 'Pillowtalk' by Zayn was on. He smirked at me before leaning in to talk in my ear again.

"Can we go piss off your neighbors?" he asked with a laugh referencing the song. "Cause I'd love to wake up next to you."

I laughed and fake pushed him away. Because the song was a remix, it then morphed into 'Hands to Myself' by Selena Gomez.

"Who can keep their hands to themselves when I'm around," Adrian joked leaning forward again. "I know I can't keep them to myself around you."

He then pretended to slide his hands towards my ass. I tried to raise an eyebrow but failed miserably so we both started laughing as he brought his hands back to my waist where they'd been. At that point I got a weird feeling like I was being watched. I turned and looked around but didn't see anyone looking at me. I shrugged and turned towards Adrian again. He gave me the look asking what was wrong so I leaned towards him.

"I just got a really creeped out feeling."

"Want to leave?" I shook my head no.

"Can we go check out the other part?" I asked him still feeling like I was being watched. He nodded and turned grabbing my hand and leading me through the dance floor until we reached a flight of stairs. When we got to the top he opened a door that led to a small hallway maybe 8 feet long. I closed the door behind me and the hallway got super silent. I could still hear the echoes of the music in the room behind me but it was a fraction of what it had been.

"Damn that's some good soundproofing," I laughed heading down the hallway behind Adrian. He opened the door at the end of the hallway and I heard some guy trying and failing at some rock song. I walked through the door and was amazed at the difference. In here it was like a normal bar with booths against the walls and some tables spread out throughout. To the right there was a bar against the back wall and towards the left there was a decent sized stage with a small dance area in front of it.

"I'll go get some drinks, you go find us a seat," Adrian said letting go of my hand. I made my way over to a booth that was empty and sat down. It wasn't near as packed in here. For this being two different clubs pretty much it was huge. Both sides fit well over 100 people, though on this side I'd say there was about 50. By the time Adrian got over to me a new guy was getting on stage and I heard him start another rock song but this time he was a little better than the guy before. We sat there for a minute before Adrian spoke up.

"Want to tell me what happened out there?" I shrugged.

"I will if you agree to answer my question," I challenged.

"What's your question?"

"I'll tell you after you agree."

"Deal. I'll answer."

"Fine, who's the girl?" I asked leaning towards him putting my arms on the table.

"What girl? I'm single," he said smiling.

"The one that broke your heart. And don't lie. I read your journal. There was a girl that broke your heart and that's why you've become a player." I stated.

"There was a girl," he admitted shrugging. "I wouldn't get that deep though. It's more of after her I realized one no one would compare to her and two it's pointless to trust any girls being who I am. They all want something from me. Whether it's money or fame."

"Ok so tell me about her," I encouraged.

"Her name is Sydney. Sydney Sage. She was amazing but she couldn't get through her issues with her family and in the end she picked them over me."

"Why does her name sound familiar?" I asked.

"She's a singer now. She's not very mainstream. Like they don't really play her on the top 40 stations but she's making her way up there," he said wistfully. He got a sparkle in his eye talking about her like he was proud of her.

"Did she use you for fame?" I asked confused. The way he talked about her you can tell he's still in love with her so I wouldn't think she did.

"Sydney? No she was too nice to use people. Hell I almost wish she did. The reason we broke up was because her family are a bunch of chemists and wanted her to follow in their footsteps but she wanted to be a singer. She just didn't tell them that and in the end she had decided to follow her family's footsteps and broke up with me because according to her I was a bad influence."

"Apparently she changed her mind. Why don't you reconnect with her? Try to get back together?"

"She dumped me. She said I was bad for her and she's right. I'm an alcoholic player. She's doing her own thing and I've moved on. I'm proud of her."

I admired the look he had on his face. He was still obviously so in love with her and just letting his pride and self-deprecation get in the way. Who would've thought that I'd be sitting in a karaoke bar with Adrian Ivashkov one of the richest playboys in America only to find he's nothing like what I thought just yesterday.

"Anyways. Dance floor. What happened?" he asked. Since he'd been so honest with me I decided I would be as well.

"You saw the guy I was dancing with right?" I asked. He nodded. "So I was dancing with him thinking if I wasn't taken I could see me hooking up with him. Then I thought the reason I would hook up with him is because he's the anti-Dimitri. Like what the hell? I'm dancing with a hot guy at a club and comparing him to my ex from five years ago? How pathetic is that? Then when we were dancing I started feeling like someone was watching me but when I looked I didn't see anything. It creeped me out. But it could also be because I now know Dimitri is in LA so I'm probably expecting to see him everywhere now."

"Ok so two questions. What would you do if he came up right now said he was sorry and wanted you back? Begged to get you back?"

"Nope. Not going to work. He and I are finished for good. Like book closed."

"Why?" he asked raising an eyebrow and taking a drink.

"There's just too much that's happened. I am a completely different person than when he last saw me and he's changed too. He's not the same person I knew. And even if he came begging, which he would never do by the way, it's too late. There's too much hurt and too much pain. Even if I forgave him I wouldn't date him again."

"So you haven't forgiven him?"

"No. I want to but I just can't not yet."

"It's been five years."

"I know, and I've tried. But let's just say that's a work in progress I need answers first."

"What if you never get them?"

"I don't know. What about you? Have you forgiven her for breaking your heart?" I challenged. He looked like he didn't want to answer. "Exactly. Not so easy huh?"

"I have to an extent. I understand why she broke up with me. Her family was too important to lose. Some people actually like their family, who knew. But if she was going to just be a singer anyways why breakup with me. Then again she was right too. So I don't know some days I have, others not so much."

"Exactly. What was your second question by the way?" I asked changing subjects.

"Oh, if you were thinking about having sex with a stranger, why weren't you thinking of sleeping with me? I'm hurt Little Red!"

"Him, I could leave before he ever woke up and never see again. You, I work with so it's not going to happen. Ever!" I laughed.

"I'll quit tomorrow!"

"Still not going to!"

"Damn worth a try!" I rolled my eyes at him and took a drink of my drink. About then a guy came on stage and started singing a country song.

"I love this song come dance with me!" I said excited they played a country song I actually liked.

"I don't know how to dance to this," he admitted.

"I can teach you. I'm amazing at it. Come on!" I said hopping up and pulling him with me. We went to the edge of the dance area, not that there was really anyone else dancing to this, besides us and two couples. I guess two-stepping isn't that popular here.

"Ok so you take two steps forward and a step back. Here I'll lead until you get it. Follow me," I told him putting a hand on his shoulder and grabbing his left hand with my right, he put his right hand on my waist. "Ok now, one, two, back. One, two, back. Don't look at your feet. Look at me and feel it."

By the end of the song Adrian had it down really well and was actually able to spin me a couple of times. When the song was over I saw the singer head off stage and high five one of the guys that had been dancing as he went up on the stage. Another country song started and I cheered. That's when I noticed the guy that had been on stage was the Anti-Dimitri from the dance floor earlier. He came over to me.

"Can I have this dance?" he asked in a nice southern drawl. Adrian nodded and walked towards the girl that had been left by her partner so he could sing. I nodded to Mr. southern drawl and saw her start dancing with Adrian.

"I would have never guessed you were southern!" I laughed.

"I would never have guessed you could two-step," he teased. "Texas. You?"

"Georgia." I replied. "So glad you're from the south. I've been dying to two-step!"

"Glad I could be of service," he laughed. By then we got sucked up into the fast pace of the song. He was really good and had me spinning and laughing the whole dance. When it was over he dramatically bowed.

"Thank you for the dance! The only thing that would make tonight better is copperhead road!" I laughed mentioning a popular line dancing song from the south.

"I might be able to fix that," he laughed.

"Really?" I asked. He nodded. I hugged him before pulling back quickly. By this time Adrian was back over to me. I turned to him as the guy walked away. "He's going to do a song called 'Copperhead Road' It's a line dance. Let me teach it to you! My best friends Lissa and Vika dance to this all the time back home. I've been missing it when I go out with Mia."

"Ugh, I'm not even getting laid for this," Adrian teased. About then the music started playing. I moved over by the other people on the dance floor as he asked, "Bagpipes?"

"Yes. Now shut up and do what I'm doing. You're going to kick 4 times. Then cross and cross. Then kick 4 more times," he looked confused. "Just copy me. It's easy."

"Kick, kick, kick, kick. Cross, cross. Kick, kick, kick, kick. Now turn, stomp, stomp!" I instructed. He picked it up pretty easily. Pretty soon there were some other people that had joined us and were trying to learn it as well. Halfway through it though there was a part where you stomped a bunch of times then picked back up in the dance just faster making it to where you jump a little with every kick and move. Adrian started to get it but on the second turn tried to kick and turn at the same time and fell. I busted out laughing as I reached over to help him up. About then I felt like I was being watched again. I asked him if he was ok and we picked back up in the dance again with me still laughing at him. I looked around as we danced but didn't see anything or anyone. There were a few people watching us dance but no one that gave me the feeling I was getting. I shrugged and tried to ignore it as I was dancing. About then there was another series of stomps.

"Faster?" Adrian yelled shocked. I laughed and nodded.

"Don't fall on your ass this time. It takes away from your pretty," I teased. He didn't do it very pretty but he made it through. Luckily that part was the last part and didn't last very long. I was laughing when the song because he had almost fallen again right as it ended.

"You ok?" I laughed.

"Shut up," he pouted. "That shit's hard!"

"That's like the easiest line dance besides the cha-cha slide!" I laughed. The feeling was still there but I was trying really hard to ignore it. About then the guy from the stage came off and came over to us. I turned to him. "Thank you! That was so much fun."

"Speak for yourself!" Adrian teased.

"Shut up!" I laughed before turning to the other guy. "I don't know your name."

"Mark. You?"

"Rose."

"Ah beautiful name for a beautiful girl. Glad I could help you out. You're a good dancer," he said nodding his head towards me.

"Thank you, you too!" by then his friends were hollering for him.

"Well that's my cue. Thank you for the dance. Nice to meet you Rose," he said extending his hand. I shook it then he walked away. Adrian and I turned the other way and went to the bar to get another drink. As we got to the bar I realized that feeling had finally gone away and sighed in relief.

"Water for me," I told him. He raised an eyebrow at me. "I have a two drink limit."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I don't like to get drunk anymore," I said as if that was explanation. He shrugged got himself a shot and me a water.

"I have an idea," he said handing me my water. He took his shot, put his glass on the bar and then turned toward me again. "I say we try out our dueting chemistry."

"You want to karaoke?" I asked.

"Yes. I think it's a good way to test it out. Plus what better place to sing then at a karaoke bar?"

"Why not." I shrugged. "What song are you wanting to do?"

"Have you heard the song 'I hate you, I love you'?"

"Which version?" I laughed.

"Which one do you want to do?" he asked surprising me.

"Surprised you know more than one," I joked. "Just do the normal one. Sounds good after a night like tonight."

"Alright then lets go," he smiled grabbing my hand and walking to the stage. We walked onto the stage and he grabbed a mic and handed it to me before grabbing one for himself. He told the guy running the music what song we were doing and as the guy pulled up the song he addressed the crowd.

"Hey everyone, I'm Adrian and this is the beautiful Rose. Rose here just got signed to a pretty hot record label yesterday and we were thinking about releasing a duet," the crowd cheered at his words. "First we were thinking about trying it out on all of you? Now we're not going to do our song but try out someone else's so tell us what you think."

"If you hate it blame him," I teased pointing at Adrian as the crowd laughed. By now the music was starting so I didn't say anything and just listened for my cue to jump in.

 _Feeling used_

 _But I'm_

 _Still missing you_

 _And I can't_

 _See the end of this_

 _Just wanna feel your kiss_

 _Against my lips_

 _And now all this time_

 _Is passing by_

 _But I still can't seem to tell you why_

 _It hurts me every time I see you_

 _Realize how much I need you_

As I was singing I started to get that feeling back. I tried to ignore it but eventually gave in and looked around. That's when I found Dimitri and Tasha sitting in one of the back booths across from the bar. Dimitri was staring right at me. Luckily Tasha either hadn't noticed me or was just ignoring me. She was talking but it was obvious Dimitri wasn't listening. I couldn't look away as I sang the chorus.

 _I hate you I love you_

 _I hate that I love you_

 _Don't want to, but I can't put_

 _Nobody else above you_

 _I hate you I love you_

 _I hate that I want you_

 _You want her, you need her_

 _And I'll never be her_

I pulled my gaze away and looked at Adrian as his part started to come up. He gave me a knowing look telling me he saw them too. I shrugged and smiled softly as he started to sing. I could feel Dimitri still watching me but I kept my eyes on Adrian as he sang.

 **I miss you when I can't sleep**

 **Or right after coffee**

 **Or right when I can't eat**

 **I miss you in my front seat**

 **Still got sand in my sweaters**

 **From nights we don't remember**

 **Do you miss me like I miss you?**

 **Messed around and got attached to you**

 **Friends can break your heart too, and**

 **I'm always tired but never of you**

 **If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn't like that**

 **I put this reel out, but you wouldn't bite that**

 **I type a text but then I nevermind that s*****

 **I got these feelings but you never mind that s*****

 **Oh oh, keep it on the low**

 **You're still in love with me but your friends don't know**

 **If u wanted me you would just say so**

 **And if I were you, I would never let me go**

 **I don't mean no harm**

 **I just miss you on my arm**

 **Wedding bells were just alarms**

 **Caution tape around my heart**

 **You ever wonder what we could have been?**

 **You said you wouldn't and you went and did**

 **Lie to me, lie with me, get your freaking fix**

 **Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all freaking mixed**

 **Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing**

 **Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance**

 **I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing**

 **But I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings**

 **When love and trust are gone**

 **I guess this is moving on**

 **Everyone I do right does me wrong**

 **So every lonely night, I sing this song**

 _ **I hate you I love you**_

 _ **I hate that I love you**_

 _ **Don't want to, but I can't put**_

 _ **Nobody else above you**_

 _I hate you I love you_

 _I hate that I want you_

 _You want her, you need her_

 _And I'll never be her_

 _All alone I watch you watch her_

 _Like she's the only girl you've ever seen_

 _You don't care you never did_

 _You don't give a damn about me_

 _ **Yeah all alone I watch you watch her**_

 _ **She's the only thing you've ever seen**_

 _ **How is it you never notice**_

 _That you are slowly killing me_

As we started the last chorus I finally gave in and looked at Dimitri again. This time Tasha had noticed me and was glaring daggers at me. I smiled and winked at her before turning back towards Adrian. As we finished the last chorus we faced each other and sang it as if we were singing to the other.

 _I hate you I love you_

 _I hate that I love you_

 _Don't want to, but I can't put_

 _Nobody else above you_

 _I hate you I love you_

 _I hate that I want you_

 _You want her, you need her_

 _And I'll never be her_

As we finished, the crowd started clapping I smiled and turned towards them. I saw some people with phones out taking pictures and figured they'd recognized Adrian by now. I knew it would probably happen sooner or later. He is one of the most popular pop singers in the country if not the world.

"Thank you all. I take it that wasn't that bad then?" Adrian said asking the crowd. They cheered. "So can we do one more?"

"What song did you have in mind?" I asked as the crowd cheered.

"It's a surprise. But I'm sure you know it," he winked. The music started and I laughed.

"You know country?" I stage whispered.

"I'm full of surprises little red," he winked. I laughed as we both turned towards the microphones. I was kind of glad Adrian picked this song but kind of annoyed at the same time.

 **I kept waitin' on a reason  
In a call that never came  
No I never, saw it comin'  
Somethin' in you must have changed**

 _All the words unspoken, promises broken  
I cried for so long, wasted too much time  
Should have seen the signs  
Now I know, just what went wrong_

As I sang I couldn't help but look over at Dimitri. Tasha had gone from glaring at me to trying to get Dimitri's attention again. In his defense he'd been looking at her until I looked over at him. It was like he could also feel my gaze on him. Good. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one affected.

 _ **I guess I wanted you more  
And lookin' back now I'm sure  
I wanted you more  
I guess I wanted you more**_

As the chorus ended and Adrian started his verse, I drug my gaze away from Dimitri and looked towards the crowd. Mark was looking up at me from his booth with his friends. When he saw me look his way he smiled and gave me a thumbs up. I smiled and gave him a small nod as if to say thank you. I looked back over at Adrian as he said the last line in his verse and I started mine.

 _My heart was open, exposed and hopin'  
For you, to lay it on the line  
In the end, it seemed  
There was no room for me  
Still I tried, to change your mind_

 _ **I guess I wanted you more  
And lookin' back now I'm sure  
I wanted you more  
I guess I wanted you more**_

As I got ready to sing the next part I looked back over at Dimitri. As soon as my gaze hit his I started singing knowing he would understand I meant it. I don't need him anymore. I don't need him to protect me or warn me against guys or anything else he thinks he's needs to do.

 _ **Oh, I don't need you  
I don't need you anymore**_

 _ **I guess I wanted you more  
And lookin' back now I'm sure  
I wanted you more  
I guess I wanted you more**_

 _ **I don't need you,  
I don't need you anymore**_

As the song finished I saw Dimitri and Tasha get up and Dimitri follow her to the other part of the bar. I breathed a small sigh of relief glad to not be singing in front of him anymore, even if it wasn't my own music this time. The crowd cheered and I smiled. I said a quick thank you in the mic before heading off stage. Adrian followed and slung an arm around my shoulders.

"You realize the only reason they loved it so much was because THE Adrian Ivashkov was performing right?" I joked with him.

"Yea right they loved the both of us! Who could blame them, we were pretty fantastic!" He said with a wink.

"Not conceded at all are you Mr. Popular?" I teased.

"Why Ms. Hathaway I'm offended!"

About then a group of women came up to tell Adrian how amazing he was on stage and how they loved his new sound.

"See I told you," I told him as they walked off.

"Fine I'll make you a bet. If at least five people compliment you, you have to go back up there and sing solo of a song I pick," he smirked.

"I'll take that bet, but I guarantee it will probably be mostly guys complimenting me on my looks," I replied.

"Hey that's still a compliment," he joked. By now we were at the bar again. Adrian grabbed another drink as I ordered a soda this go around. We decided to just sit at the bar. Within twenty minutes Adrian had won the bet, even though I was right and three of them were on my looks, he said I still had to sing. When he told me what song he wanted me to sing I got annoyed.

"Why this one?" I asked him.

"Because he's here and so is she and I think it's funny to shove it in her face because she's a bitch and deserves it," he smiled. I rolled my eyes. "Relax it's a beautiful heartbreaking song but also one of empowerment. He might be with her but you're better and you're going to let the world know so go sing!"

I shrugged and made my way to the stage again. I told the DJ what I was doing and he told me he'd turn the mic on by the piano on the stage. I went and sat on the piano stool and turned to address the crowd.

"So thanks to a bet I lost, I have to come up here and sing you one of my original songs. Now please bear with me because I just finished this song tonight but I like it and want to try it out. Sorry it's a sappy song. I didn't actually pick this song out but it was originally two parts and I'm combining it to be one tonight. I originally wrote the first half a long time ago and wrote the second part a little later but I never finished it until tonight so if it sucks it won't hurt my feelings if you say so," I laughed and so did the crowd. I took a breath and started playing.

 **She doesn't love you, like I do**

 **She doesn't have my name**

 **However she tries to act like it she'll never be the same**

 **But she's new and she's beautiful**

 **You've never been in a fight**

 **Oh it's awfully perfect now**

 **But you just know deep inside**

 **She's not me**

 **She's not me**

 **She's not me, baby**

 **She's not me**

Unfortunately as I was singing I got the feeling of being watched back. It's like he has a sixth sense and just knows when I'm singing. Since he was here I took advantage and looked for him to sing the next part. As our eyes met I started singing wondering what he'd say later.

 **Does she make you feel wanted like I did**

 **Make you feel like you're the one thing that matters**

 **You let her head rest on your chest**

 **but when you close your eyes**

 **You'll be seeing my face again**

 **I'll be crossing your mind**

 **You'll be dreaming of places we went**

 **And then you'll wake up to find**

 **She's not me**

 **She's not me**

 **She's not me, remember**

I pulled my gaze away as I looked back at the piano.

 **She's not me**

 **She's not me**

 **I said I wonder now yea I wonder how you been**

 **Are you happy?**

 **Is she still the one**

 **Are you having fun, is it for real. Baby**

 **Cause I been waiting here another week, a month, a year**

 **If youre lonely**

 **God I wish I knew everything but the two of you**

 **Wont you tell me**

 **Does she have any humor, does she laugh at your jokes**

 **Can she look past the rumors, does she know how it goes**

 **Eh Or is it none of my business**

As I got to the 'none of my business' part I looked back over at him and smirked. That's what he'd been telling me all day. It's none of my business. I looked away again and glanced over at Adrian. He was smirking at me causing me to smile.

 **Do you go to the movies, do you make out at the park**

 **Do you stay up for hours, just talking to talk**

 **Eh Or is it none of my business**

 **Does she know about the bracelets that were two of a kind**

 **Did you save did you save it like I did mine**

 **Eh Or is it none of my business**

I looked down at the thin bracelet on my wrist that I have only ever taken off once. I hadn't noticed if he had been wearing his and honestly didn't know if I wanted to know if he still had his. I almost checked earlier but purposefully looked away so I wouldn't see.

 **Would it make any difference if I got you alone**

 **If I call would you listen would you hang up the phone**

 **Eh Or is it none of my business**

 **None of my business (X5)**

 **She's not me and she'll never be**

 **Never be**

 **Never be**

 **She's not me and she'll never be**

 **Never be**

 **Never be**

 **She's not me and she'll never be**

 **Never be**

 **Never be**

 **She's not me and she'll never be**

 **Never be**

 **Never be**

 **Yeaaaaaaaa yeaaaaaa yeaaaaa**

As I finished I smiled and thanked the crowd before walking back off stage and towards the bar where Adrian was. As I walked over I checked my phone and noticed Mia had texted. That's when I realized what time it was.

"Shit, I need to head home. I have to work early in the morning," I told Adrian as I approached him.

"Why do you have to work early?

"Well not early but at 11," I smiled. "It's early for me. Would you mind if we went ahead and split?"

"Nah it's good, it's almost closing time anyways," he said flagging the bartender down. He gave her a $100 dollar bill winked and told her to keep the change. I rolled my eyes. Wouldn't that be nice?

"You're a pig," I teased as we made our way to the exit.

"Hey I just helped a working girl out. She was a good bartender," he smirked.

"Let me guess you also got her number?"

"She may have written it down for me but that doesn't mean I'll use it," he smiled.

"Whatever," I laughed pushing the door open. Unfortunately for me Tasha was standing on the other side of the door.

"Nice to see you're making new friends," she smarted off obviously trying to imply Adrian and I were hooking up.

"Aw are you jealous because I made a new friend? Maybe if you weren't such a raging bitch you'd have some too!" I smirked.

"You're a terrible singer."

"Yep, that's why I got a record deal and that's why your boyfriend is begging to work with me," I exaggerated knowing it would piss her off. "I'm just that horrible."

"Whatever you ugly bitch, don't you have another bed to go crawl in?" she asked trying to imply I was a slut.

"Yea actually I do. Mine, and I can't wait. Did you hear my song in there? Think about that tonight while you're trying to sleep. You're not me and you'll never be," I told her referring to my solo song I did. I knew it was a low blow but damn she just pisses me off. I turned towards Adrian and nodded my head towards the parking lot, done with this conversation.

"Damn little red, you got some fire!" Adrian laughed as we approached the car.

"Ugh she just pisses me off!" I exclaimed getting in the car. "She's such a bitch and I have no idea why he's with someone like her! Like I get that it's been 5 years and he's moved on, so have I. but he moved on to that?"

"Definitely not his smartest move. In his defense she wasn't always so bitchy. And she mostly hides the bitchiness for when he's not around. Still you're ten times better than she will ever be," he smirked.

"Thanks," I laughed feeling foolish for going off like that. "New subject."

"Ok," he laughed. "So Anti-Dimitri tonight…"

15 minutes later I found myself sitting outside of my apartment laughing with Adrian about to go in.

"Thanks for tonight. It's been fun. You were right. I needed this after tonight. Though it would have been better if they weren't there," I told him honestly. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Don't sound too excited Little Red, I might start getting the wrong idea," he winked smirking at me. I climbed out of the car and turned towards him before shutting the door.

"In your dreams!" I smarted.

"Oh you'll definitely be in my dreams tonight," he winked. I rolled my eyes.

"Friends! That's it!" I laughed. "Bye!"

I turned and made my way towards my apartment. As I entered I looked at my phone and saw what time it was. I made my way to my bed and plugged my phone in as I quickly looked up a number and pressed talk immediately regretting it.


	11. Chapter 10 TMZ?

**AN: So I've loved all your responses! Thank you all so much! Though it would be nice if a few more left a review or two ;)**

 **Really, in all seriousness, I hope the last chapter mix-up didn't confuse anyone too much. For anyone who hasn't read the AN on the previous chapter there was a mix up and I posted the wrong chapter last time so if this is news to you, you might want to go check it out just in case you read the wrong one. If it ended with Rose calling someone, you should be good!**

 **Ok guys y'all have been great with song suggestions, like amazingly great but I still need help with flashback ideas. Tell me what you want to see in flashbacks. The more ideas you give the faster the updates can be because that's one of the things that take so long, coming up with flashback ideas. That being said this is the end of the homecoming night flashbacks. I think three chapters worth of one night is too much lol. I might do a morning after or just have Rose talk about the morning after in later flashback or chapter. I don't know you all tell me what you want!**

 **Well I hope you like the chapter, I'm sorry I haven't responded to everyone's reviews in the last chapter but I should with this one, so leave me some more :)**

 **After the dance At Aarons (Rose Freshman, Dimitri Junior):**

 _About an hour or two after we'd left the dance, Lissa, Aaron, Reed, Dimitri, his date (whose name I already forgot again), and me were sitting outside at one of the tables by the pool. Aaron's family came from money so his house was pretty huge and had a nice big backyard. As of right now, the party was only just beginning and would get bigger but, there were still a lot of people here. Right now nobody had really gotten drunk enough to try the pool out yet so over hear it was pretty calm and only a little loud from the music._

 _Lissa and Dimitri's date (Brittany?) were talking about some cheer routine they'd been practicing, and the guys were talking about football. I was just sitting there taking it all in. I looked down and noticed my cup was almost empty. I leaned over to lissa and told her I was getting more before heading into the house towards the kitchen. I looked at my phone and saw still no word from Mason. He should have been here by now. I sent him a quick text asking where he was. I bypassed the keg and went straight to the liquor. I filled my cup with whisky and coke before going over to the counter. I hopped onto it and watched one of the upperclassmen making a fool out of himself trying to impress a girl. I was laughing when Dimitri came into the kitchen and leaned into the counter beside me._

 _"What's wrong?" he asked._

 _"Nothing's wrong. I'm great," I said smiling at him. He raised an eyebrow at me. "I hate that you can do that!"_

 _"I know. One of these days you'll just have to face it Hathaway, I'm just better than you," he laughed._

 _"Ugh! You wish Belikov. I'm so much better than you!"_

 _"Whatever, I just let you win or else you'll go cry to my mom like a little kid and get me in trouble," he joked._

 _"Hey winning is winning. However I have to do it. Still makes me smarter than you. Therefore I'm better than you," I said sticking my tongue out at him. He just laughed at me._

 _"But seriously what's wrong?" he asked nudging me._

 _"I don't know," I said honestly. "I was having a great time at the dance but for some reason since we got here I've had this weird feeling like something bad is going to happen. I don't know what though."_

 _"A feeling?" he asked._

 _"Yes a feeling. I know it's weird shut up," I laughed pushing on his shoulder._

 _"Ok, so what do you think could happen?" he asked seriously. It's one of my favorite things about him. Even though he's probably thinking I'm nuts, he's going along with it._

 _"I don't know. Mason should be here by now. I texted him to see where he was but he hasn't answered. I don't know what else it could be."_

 _"Have you tried calling him? How was he getting here anyways? He can't drive." Dimitri pointed out._

 _"One of his theatre buddies was giving him a ride. No. I guess I could. Look away." I said reaching into my bra and pulling my phone out._

 _"Really?" he sighed as he looked away._

 _"It's not like this dress has pockets!" I defended. I pulled up Mason's phone number but right as I was about to call it a text came through. "He says they stopped to get food and should be here soon."_

 _"See everything's fine. You're worrying about nothing. I'm here, nothing bad is going to happen. Come on lets go have some fun," he said raising a hand to help me off the counter. I grabbed his hand and hopped down. Even though I knew he was right I couldn't help shake the feeling. I followed him back outside, as we hit the doors we heard a big thud and both turned to see one of my classmates on the floor. It was the same guy from earlier trying to impress the girl. I looked at Dimitri and we both started laughing when the guy got up rubbing his head. When we walked outside we were still laughing. I looked up to see Reed looking ticked off._

 _"Take it I'm not your boyfriend's favorite person," he laughed._

 _"Ugh he'll get over it. He thinks I keep blowing him off tonight but I'm not going to be stuck to his hip all damn night. I was thirsty," I said annoyed. Dimitri just made a 'mhmm' noise but didn't say anything. "Shut up, it's not like that. We're good."_

 _"Sounds like it,' he muttered. "Like I said, I'm watching him."_

 _By that point we were within their hearing range so I just dropped it and rolled my eyes. I sat back down at my spot between Reed and Lissa as Dimitri sat back down in his chair across from me beside Aaron and his date._

 _"So what'd I miss?"_

 _A few hours later Mason had finally shown up and somebody had suggested tequila shots. So we were all in the kitchen around the liquor. Aaron and I were currently in a battle of who could do the most without puking, we were both at 4 right now. I knew I was drunk already but I didn't care._

 _"Roza, I think you've had enough," Dimitri said from beside me._

 _"Aw leave her alone Dimitri, she's having fun," Aaron laughed. "Plus she's about to puke any second now."_

 _"You wish," I said. I'm pretty sure my speech was slurring but I just laughed. "I'm good comrade. I'm having fun."_

 _"Rose you're drunk. You need to stop now, you're already going to regret it tomorrow," Dimitri said seriously._

 _"Leave her alone Belikov. She said she's good, she's good. Leave her alone. Why don't you go take care of your own date," Reed interjected._

 _"You can shut your mouth right now," Dimitri said angrily._

 _"Oh yea-" Reed started but I cut him off._

 _"Boys, boys, boys calm down. I am fine," I said as I stood up. That was my downfall though because as soon as I did the world started spinning, "I'm gonna be sick."_

 _"Lissa can you help me take her to the bathroom?" Dimitri asked coming and grabbing me. He led me down a hallway and into Aaron's bedroom and into his bathroom. As soon as I saw the toilet I fell to the floor and leaned over. One of them grabbed my hair thankfully and put it into a ponytail as I heaved all the contents of my stomach into the porcelain bowl. What seemed like hours later I finally finished and sat against the tub. I looked up and saw it was just me and Lissa. When she noticed me looking around she explained._

 _"Dimitri had to go take care of something with Macy, I told him he was good to go," she said handing me a glass of water._

 _"Who?" I asked._

 _"Macy, his date," she said like it was obvious._

 _"Oh that's her name! I couldn't remember it," I laughed._

 _"God your breath stinks," she laughed. "Luckily Aaron keeps spare toothbrushes under the sink."_

 _"Well gee thanks," I laughed leaning my head against the cool porcelain of the tub. It felt really good. Lissa handed me a toothbrush with some toothpaste on it and a cool rag. I threw the rag on my face across my forehead and eyes and started to brush my teeth. Part of the way through I got super tired and leaned against the tub again._

 _"No rose keep brushing. You're almost done," Lissa said moving my hand for me._

 _"I want to sleep," I told her around the tooth brush._

 _"Well come on let's at least rinse your mouth out. We can get some mouthwash for you," she said pulling on my arm._

 _"I don't wanna get up," I mumbled._

 _"Come on Rose, we have to rinse your mouth out it's full of toothpaste," she said pulling again. Somehow I managed to get up but I was leaning on her pretty hard. "You're...not…making this…easy…especially…not when…I'm drunk too!"_

 _"Why aren't you throwing up?" I asked suddenly. She laughed and leaned me against the counter in front of the sink._

 _"Rinse," she said handing me the bottle of mouth wash and a cup of water. I did what she said as she continued talking. "I'm not throwing up because I didn't go shot for shot with Aaron like you did!"_

 _"Would've won too if the idiots wouldn't have started arguing," I muttered. By then I got tired again so I sat down on the floor in front of the sink. This time Lissa just sat beside me._

 _"Rose you never had a chance!" she laughed. I made a face at that._

 _"Did too!" I pouted._

 _"Did not," she laughed._

" _Don't pout, it's not flattering," she teased._

" _Ugh you're such a bitch!" I laughed. Then because we were both drunk for no reason at all we both started laughing for no reason. About then there was a knock at the door. Reed popped his head in._

 _"Hey Lissa, Aaron was asking for you. Said he needed help with something," he said walking in._

 _"I'm kinda busy," she said annoyed._

 _"I can help Rose out," he told her._

 _"I'm not sure," she said looking at me and back at him._

 _"Relax, I'm not going to hurt her," he said with a smile._

 _"I'm good Liss, you can go. See what he wants," I told her with smile and a wink._

 _"Ugh whatever. I'll be back up to check on you," she said standing up. She wobbled a little then turned to me and laughed softly. "On second thought I'll have Dimitri come check on you."_

 _"Get your drunk ass to bed!" I laughed calling after her._

 _"You're one to talk!" she laughed as she hiccupped and left the room. Reed looked down at me from by the door._

 _"You done puking?" he asked._

 _"Yep," I said popping the 'p'. "Even brushed my teeth already. Now I'm ready to sleep."_

 _"Come on I'll help you up," he said grabbing my arm and pulling me up into him. I giggled as I kind of tripped and fell into him._

 _"Whoops!" I laughed. He led me out into the bedroom. He sat me on the edge of the bed but kept me from actually laying down on it._

 _"You know I've been really patient with you Rose. More patient than most guys would have been," he said kneeling in front of me._

 _"What do you mean? Cause I'm drunk?" I asked confused._

 _"No not because you're drunk. That's actually helpful for me. See I've been being a real gentleman and not pressuring you but for what? So you can ditch me repeatedly for Dimitri? I think I deserve a little more respect than that. I think I deserve a reward," he said with a smile but sounding angry._

 _"I haven't been ditching you. He's just a friend. And you have been really nice with me. I'm sorry I'm just not ready for the next step," I said honestly. "But if you want we can make-out."_

 _At that I leaned down and kissed him. We kissed for a minute or two before he reached behind me and started to try to pull down the zipper of my dress. I pulled back._

 _"I said no. I'm not ready."_

 _"I said yes," he said roughly. I tried to push him away but in my drunk state it wasn't working well._

 _"Stop it!" I cried as he tried to pull it down more. I wiggled around so he lost his grip on it. Next thing I knew he reached up and slapped me._

 _"You bitch! You're nothing but a tease!" he shouted._

 _"Yea well you're an asshole!" I shouted back. He started to come at me again but somehow, even I don't know how, I managed to kick him right in the crotch. He immediately fell to the floor as I tried to stand up. As soon as I stood I got dizzy again but I started walking hoping I was going straight. A little ways away from the door, it opened and I saw two Dimitri's enter the room._

 _"I want to hug you but there's two," I slurred. Dimitri came up and grabbed me. I practically collapsed onto him, suddenly exhausted. He quickly picked me up and spoke to someone behind him. I tried to look over his shoulder but saw blurry duplicates of people. I think it was Aaron, Lissa, and Mason but I couldn't be sure. Dimitri carried me out of the room._

 _"What happened Roza?" he asked looking down at me._

 _"He tried…zipper…said no…" I mumbled getting more and more tired. Then I laughed remembering Reed's face when I kicked him. "Kicked him in the balls. Where you?"_

 _"I had to take Macy home. I had Aaron watching Reed. As soon as I got back I saw Lissa looking for Aaron so I went to check on you. I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner."_

 _" 's ok. Was funny," I said closing my eyes. "Time to sleep now."_

 _"Not just yet Roza," he said. I felt him set me down on something soft. "I'll be back to check on you in a minute."_

 _"Don't go," I said softly. I felt somebody pulling my shoes off._

 _"I'll be back. Lissa's here with you. You're safe. Sleep now." he said brushing my hair out of my face. I felt a cover being laid on me and curled into it._

 _"K" I muttered curling into the bed. I felt a weight beside me and cracked my eyes open just enough to see it was Lissa. I curled closer to her. She started running a hand through my hair._

 _"I'm sorry I left you," she said softly._

 _"S'okay. I kicked his ass," I muttered. She giggled._

 _"Yea you did. I have no idea how cause when I left you couldn't even stand on your own," she laughed._

 _"Yea well he picked the wrong girl to mess with," I said already half-asleep._

 _"Go to sleep. You're safe now," she said softly._

 _"Thanks, you're a great friend," I said before letting myself lose consciousness and drifting off into sweet blackness._

 **Present Day:**

"Hey?" Lissa said through the phone. I immediately regretted calling her knowing I was about to tell her about Dimitri and was hoping she would be able to keep it a secret.

"Hey! How's my little man?" I asked her.

"Thanks Rose. No 'hey girl! How are you?' or 'hey whats new?' Just jump straight to the kid!" Lissa laughed.

"What can I say, he's my favorite," I joked back. "Fine, hey how are you? Anything new?"

"No. Everything's the same," she laughed.

"See that's why I don't ask. It's too predictable," I teased.

"Eh fine. Aj's good. He's sleeping right now. I haven't gotten him up for the day yet. He just started at his new day care and he loves it. He adores his teachers which is good for me so I don't have to worry about him being there without me."

"Oh he's so big now! He's growing way too fast!" I smiled.

"Well he's 2 they tend to grow up. But enough about us. How's the record deal going?" she asked excitedly. "I so wish I was there with you!"

"Eh it's going alright. I met Adrian. As in THE Adrian," I told her trying to distract her for a minute.

"OH MY GOSH!" she squealed into the phone. "Tell me you're lying! How? When? Was he as cute in person? What was he like?"

"One question at a time!" I laughed. "He is at the same record company I'm trying to sign at. He actually came and introduced himself and asked me to help him with a song he was writing. So we spent an hour or so writing last night then we went and celebrated a little at a bar he knows. He was actually a really good guy Liss. He's a huge flirt but I could have figured that one out without meeting him. And yes he's just as cute in person. He's pretty cool. Not at all what he seems like from the tabloids. He knew I was having a rough night so he took me out to cheer up and spent the night trying to make me feel better pretty much. He seems like he's going to be a really good friend."

"Only you could go to LA, get a record deal in two months, then within a week meet one of the most famous guys in the world and make friends with him! How is that even possible? And he came to you?" she asked in disbelief.

"I have no idea Liss," I chuckled. "Yea he had heard about me through the grapevine and wanted my help."

"Wait, somethings up. Isn't it like 4:30 in the morning there? Why are you still up? You said he knew you were having a rough night, what's going on, do I need to come kick somebody's butt for you?"

"Like you could if you wanted to," I joked. "There's something I haven't told you yet but if I tell you, you have to promise not to tell anybody else. It's going to be really hard to keep this a secret but I really need to talk to a friend that can somewhat understand," I told her honestly. I know she has troubles keeping secrets but I'm hoping she'll be able to keep this one for a while.

"You're kind of scaring me Rose. What's going on?" she asked.

"You can't tell anyone, especially the Belikovs," I told her seriously.

"Fine. My lips are sealed what's up?"

"I kind of ran into Dimitri," I sighed.

"WHAT?" she half-screamed. "Why didn't you lead with that? Where? how? What'd he say?"

"Well…he's kind of my producer," I told her bracing myself.

"HE'S the asshole producer? Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why aren't you telling the Belikovs?"

"Liss, he's completely changed. He's pretty much just an asshole now. I'm trying to get some answers before I tell them. I don't want to tell them only for him to up and leave again or keep ignoring them. I want to make sure he'll actually stick around for a while first. They don't need more disappointment and heartbreak."

"I get what you're trying to do but I think you should tell them. At least Olena. She deserves to know what's going on."

"Just give me a little time. I'll tell them soon," I said honestly.

"Ok. I'll let it go for now. How are you doing?" she asked softly.

"Not so good. It's been pretty bad Liss," I said softly. "All we've done is fight and I hate it. I hate that after all this time I just want to run up to him and hug him. At the same point I'm mad as hell. It's like all the healing I thought I'd done when it comes to him was really just a big band aid and now the band aids ripped off and it's all pouring out again."

"Did you tell him?"

"God no! How could I? But that makes it even harder. I've told him a few details about the past. I told him about Aaron. And staying with Ralph and how he wasn't a nice guy. Then I told him that his family took me in. I pretty much told him I tried to commit suicide at one point but when he asked about it I changed the subjects. I didn't tell him why or how."

"I know when I tell you this you're going to completely ignore me and argue but maybe if you opened up to him about everything he would open up to you."

"No! No, Lissa I can't do that not right now. First of all we're not even on friendly terms. We can barely get through a conversation without arguing. Plus how do I even tell him about that now? It's too late. Even if I did tell him, it'd make things worse."

"Are you so sure about that?" she asked softly.

"Please can we not go there right now?" I asked softly my voice breaking.

"Sure," she said softly.

"I told him about Aaron," I told her. "Then I felt bad because I snapped at him about it. Somehow he has a way of making me feel bad anytime I get angry at him like I shouldn't be angry that he left for five years with no contact. That he broke up with me right after promising we would make it work no matter what! Which then makes me even more angry. Then, then, when I ask him why, he says things like 'you wouldn't understand' and it's none of my business! Like, who else's business is it if it's not mine? I don't deserve to know why he left me?"

"Maybe he really does have a good reason or at least in his mind he does. I mean you won't tell him about the last 5 years and you have a good reason why, or at least in your mind you do."

"Yea but that's different he left me. Which means he chose to not know what's going on in my life and I tried to reach out to him several times. I didn't choose to walk away from him. I did get him good tonight though," I chuckled.

"Oh really?" she asked.

"He overheard a conversation between me and Jesse and insinuated that maybe Jesse really wasn't a man and I was just like 'oh I KNOW he's a man' and he was like 'well you sure picked a winner there' and I was like 'oh he's more than worth it' and his face just completely changed. It was pretty awesome."

"You didn't?" she laughed shocked.

"Hell yes I did. Then he warned me about being friends with Adrian so I cut our session short so I could go help Adrian."

"I bet that pleased him."

"I don't care. He has no right to try to tell me what to do with my life anymore!"

"Did he ever get away with telling you what to do with your life?" she laughed.

"Hell no!" I smiled.

"You're too hard headed." She said. I pictured her smiling and shaking her head.

"What can I say? I was born that way." I chuckled. "His girlfriends a bitch too. Which makes it worse because if he had moved on and the girl was ok I could understand but she's so horrible. I even wrote a song called 'Crazy Ex-Girlfriend' just for her. It was great."

"I'm sure she's not that bad," Lissa defended.

"I literally talked to her for less than two minutes tonight and in that time she pretty much called me an untalented whore."

"She didn't?"

"Not in those exact words but yea pretty much. She's a bitch."

"I'm sorry. So what are you going to do?" she asked softly.

"I don't know. Right now I'm just trying to get a hold of my emotions. I keep going from angry, to hurt, to happy I found him finally, and I swear the emotions are changing so fast I feel like I'm in a tornado, or even a hurricane and I can't even find my footing anymore. I thought I was doing well and I've come so far and bam I feel like I'm 17 again holding the phone after the 10th rejected call again. We can't have an actual conversation without fighting and I know it's mostly my fault but then it pisses me off all over again that he won't show me how he feels and that I actually feel bad for showing my feelings. Then on top of it I'm supposed to sing all of these personal songs to him and he won't even show me a hint of real emotion. Like I'm baring my soul and he hasn't even said sorry."

"Is there somebody else you could work with?"

"Not right now, they said all of the other producers are busy or out of town."

"Well how important is this for you?"

"You know its super important to me."

"Well then you only have a few options. 1 tell him everything," she said.

"Not an option, next."

"2 write a song about how you're feeling and see if that releases some of the emotion then put your big girl panties on and find a way to deal with him. See if there's some way you can calm down enough to work with him until another producer becomes available. I know in your mind you're still expecting the old Dimitri that was your best friend and first love but you've changed and so has he. Start over and go from there."

"See I knew there was a reason I called you," I laughed. "I'll try. It's going to be hard but you're right. He's not the same guy really so there's no reason to expect him to be. Just like I'm not the same Rose he left."

"Exactly. Plus you're stronger than that 17 year old girl he left behind. So go show him the new and improved Rose Hathaway," she laughed.

"Damn right!" I laughed. "Oh speaking of new and improved. I kind of cut my hair, dyed the tips red and pierced my nose."

"What?" she exclaimed. "Do you have pictures?"

"Yea, Mia took some yesterday, I'll send them to you now," I told her putting her on speaker and going to my pictures and sending her one. "There you should have it now."

"DAAAAMMMMMNNNNNN girl!" she exclaimed.

"Did you just cuss?" I asked shocked.

"Um yea. Because that's all you can say with how hot you look."

"Um thanks?" I laughed.

"What sparked that?" she asked.

"Mia decided I needed a makeover to start working on my image. Which means my fashion designer best friend needs to start making me some hot outfits to go with this new look so I can get her name out there."

"My designs aren't ready."

"Yea they are girl. They are amazing and you need to make them quickly so I can start wearing them immediately. You haven't been busting your butt raising that beautiful baby boy and going to school for nothing. You were talented before school, and it's only gotten better since."

"Fine, I'll send you a few pieces I've made," she said but I could hear the pride she was trying to hide. "Oh shoot Aj just woke up."

"That's alright I need to get some sleep anyways. Busy day that starts in just a few hours," I laughed.

"Ok. Call me if you need to talk. If you feel yourself getting worked up just leave the room and calm down for a few minutes. You can do this," she said.

"Thank you. And thank you for talking to me for so long this morning. I know you have school pretty soon and this is your me time"

"Anytime babe," I could hear her picking up Aj. "I'll talk to you later. Call me and update me."

"Sure thing. Tell Aj I said hi and I love him. And I better see a package at my door step soon!" I laughed before hanging up. Somehow just venting and getting it all out to someone who I knew understood made me feel a little bit lighter.

I quickly went into the bathroom and took off my makeup then brushed my teeth before I made my way to my bedroom and laid down trying to get a few hours of sleep before I had to get up for work. I set my alarm and before I knew it I had passed out.

I woke with a start reaching for my phone to shut it off. Luckily it had just interrupted a very bad nightmare so I wasn't too pissed about being woken up. I groaned and got ready putting on my diner uniform, brushed my teeth and put on some concealer, eyeliner, and mascara. Luckily my hair had made it pretty well throughout the night so I just put some anti-frizz product in it and left it down. As I was walking out the door I glanced at my phone and saw I had quite a few missed calls and texts but I was running late so I figured I'd respond later. I quickly ran to the bus stop barely making it before it left and luckily found a seat. I was just about to check my messages when I noticed a few people giving me weird looks.

"Aren't you that girl from TMZ?" A guy sitting a few seats beside me asked.

"Me?" I questioned. "No. Why would I be on TMZ?"

"Yea you look like that girl that was singing with that one guy in that video, oh who was it?" another girl chimed in trying to figure out the person she was referring to.

"Adrian," scoffed another girl from one of the rows of seats. "And the girls name was Rose. What's your name?"

"Um Mia," I said shocked. How did TMZ know I sang with Adrian. It was just last night? "Sorry it must be someone else who looks similar."

"Well you sure look just like her," the first man said shaking his head in disbelief.

"Well I'm glad I'm not her, cause she's probably about to get a lot of unwanted attention," I joked.

"No doubt," he said going back to his phone. I looked down at my phone and started reading the messages first. There were several from Mia ecstatic that I was on a celebrity gossip show, a few from Vika, one from Lissa warning me, one from Eddie saying the studio wanted to see me and a few not so happy texts and calls from Jesse. I decided to wait and call the studio back once I got to work. I texted Mia, Viktoria, and Lissa. By then it was my stop so I got off the bus and called Jesse as I walked down the street but unfortunately got his voicemail.

"Hey babe, sorry I just saw your messages. I was running late for the bus so I didn't have time to check my phone until now. It's not what it looks like and I promise I'll explain it all later. Right now I have a shift at the diner but I'll try to call again when it's over. I have another recording session after I leave here so if you call and I don't answer, I'm not ignoring you or cheating, I'm just really busy working. I'll talk to you later." I said hanging up. Unfortunately with the way Jesse's already been acting I have a feeling a break up might be soon. Hopefully not because I do enjoy hanging out with him and it's nice having him around but honestly I won't be too heartbroken if we do.

Once I got to the diner I went to the back and called the studio back. I talked to Eddie and he said to just come in when I could. I spent the rest of the morning/midafternoon waiting tables hearing "Aren't you that girl from…" a few more times than I'd like. For the most part I was able to convince people I wasn't but there was a single mom who wasn't buying it. Luckily she kept quiet and just told me how wonderful I sounded and asked if she could have my autograph. I laughed and told her I wasn't even famous and she just smiled and said "yea but you will be". I humored her and signed a napkin.

When I was done there I rushed home to shower and change so I didn't go into the studio smelling like cheese fries and burnt toast. I tried to call Jesse back but he didn't answer again so I left another voicemail. When I got to my apartment Mia was waiting outside.

"Hey Celebrity!" she laughed. I unlocked the door and walked straight back to my bathroom knowing she'd follow.

"How did they even get videos so fast? It happened like 12 hours ago!" I exclaimed stripping and jumping in the shower. Mia came in and sat on the toilet.

"Because TMZ is like everywhere in this town. Plus there's like 5 videos on YouTube already."

"Really? What are people saying? I haven't even seen the TMZ feature yet."

"They're mostly talking about how you're Adrian's new mystery girlfriend of the week. But nobody's really saying anything bad yet. Just that no one really knows anything about you. Everyone is freaking out trying to figure out how you met and who you are."

"Well that's how I wanted my claim to fame. Supposedly sleeping with Hollywood's biggest playboy," I scoffed.

"Hey there's worse ways to be known. Everyone's saying you both sounded really good together. I'm sure it won't take them too long before they find out who you are."

"Can you hand me the towel off the hook?" I asked turning the water off. She handed it to me behind the curtain and I quickly dried off. And went into my room grabbing clothes and throwing them on making sure to keep my back to her.

"You in a hurry?" she asked.

"Yea the studio asked if I could come in as soon as I could so I'm hoping they aren't trying to drop me after last night."

"Relax girl they're not going to drop you. You just became a huge commodity to them. Because now you have an actual following and you're about to have a whole lot of fame behind you."

I ran a brush through my hair before towel drying the ends again. I hand sprunched my hair holding it close to my head for a minute or two so it'd be a little curly before turning towards Mia. "I'm assuming you drove here. Can you drive me to the studio? You can stay and hang out until your shift, as long as they don't drop me."

"Sure girl! And quit worrying it's going to be fine!" she said heading towards the door. I grabbed my phone and my make-up bag and threw them into my hobo bag before following her out the door and locking it.


	12. Chapter 11 Zombies, Meetings, and Exes?

**So I've partially had this chapter done for a while now. I changed out flashbacks but I also was debating on whether or not I wanted the stuff that happens in this chapter now or later so tell me what you think?**

 **I have been trying to write a lot of flashbacks because I have more current day chapters but not as many flashbacks. I will add some more with Rose and her parents but I haven't decided exactly what I want to happen in them all so I'm kind of waiting on those until inspiration hits a little more. On the plus side I've written some cute scenes with Olena and Rose, Some cute Dimitri and Rose after they started dating scenes, and a few after he left so be excited for what's to come. The next chapter is half way written but I'm going to try to actually get that one BETA'd since the last few, including this one haven't been.**

 **Well as always please tell me what you think, the more reviews the faster I write! More like the more reviews the more I'm encouraged to write. :)**

 **-Cassandra**

 _ **Rose freshman Dimitri senior (A week after homecoming)**_

 __ _"You really don't have to babysit me," I laughed going to sit on the couch. Dimitri had plans to go to a party but I told him I wasn't going so next thing I know he shows up at my doorstep with a bag full of junk food and some movies. Ever since the incident last week with Reed, he'd been very overprotective and not really letting me out of sight. It's kind of cute though. Not in a romantic way of course but, you know._

 _"I'm not babysitting you. I just figured we haven't really hung out in a while just us so I figured best friend movie night was in order," he smirked._

 _"Liar!" I teased. "But hey I'll take it. You're right we haven't really hung out much. So what movies did you bring?"_

 _"The latest zombie movie and a chick flick for you after," he smirked. He knew me well._

 _"Well by all means put the movie in," I gestured to the TV. Dimitri rolled his eyes but still did it. Luckily both of my parents are out of town for another week so we had the house to ourselves. As much as I love the Belikovs sometimes it's nice to sit at home and enjoy a movie rather than be interrupted 5 million times by his whole family._

 _Dimitri came and sat on the other side of the couch as I grabbed the remote and switched the tv over to the right input. I grabbed a pillow and a blanket and put the bag of snacks between us. He had brought soda, Reese's pieces, sour patch kids, twizzlers, and milk duds, all of my favorites. I opened the twizzlers and offered him one as I pressed play and braced myself for the movie._

 _About three quarters of the way into the movie, I had moved the candy off the couch and was sitting cross legged on the edge of the couch. It was getting really intense and I knew something was about to pop out or something big was about to happen, I was trying to brace myself so I wouldn't jump. All of a sudden a group of zombies popped out of nowhere, grabbed the girl and were all fighting over her so her body was being torn to pieces. I jumped, then leaned over and buried my head in Dimitris shoulder. I can watch violence and action all day but I hate watching gory stuff like that. Dimitri chuckled and wrapped his arm around me._

 _"It's over," he whispered about a minute later. I turned back to the screen but stayed where I was just in case there was more. Luckily there were only one or two more times where I had to close my eyes but I tried to react as little as possible. When it was over Dimitri got up and put the next movie in. When he got up I grabbed the couch pillow and laid down where he'd been sitting. Truthfully I was getting tired but I wanted to try and make it through another movie. When he turned around he raised an eyebrow at me._

 _"There's the floor," I joked. "Or the chair over there."_

 _"Or you could get up," he laughed walking towards the couch. I leaned up just enough to where he could sit back down before laying back down, this time with my head on his leg. He propped his feet up on the table. I pulled the bag of snacks off the coffee table and onto the floor so I could just reach down and grab them. He laughed at my laziness but didn't say a word. Somehow he had ended up with the remote so he pressed play as I got comfy._

 _Sometime later I had fallen asleep when I felt something running through my hair. Slowly I came to as I realized it was Dimitris hand. I don't know if he knew I was awake or not but I kept my eyes closed and slowly drifted back into unconsciousness._

 _I woke up the next morning to the smell of bacon cooking. I looked around and saw I was in my room but had no memory of getting there. I made my way downstairs and found Dimitri in the kitchen cooking breakfast._

 _"Why are you still here?" I asked confused._

 _"By the time the movie ended and I got you upstairs I really didn't feel like going home so I told mama I was going to crash at Aarons and crashed in your spare room. Then this morning I went up to the grocery store and got some supplies to make breakfast since you have no food in this house. Yes there are donuts, they're on the table." I turned towards the table and saw the beautiful white box of deliciousness._

 _"Has anyone told you you're the best, best friend in the world!" I exclaimed running towards them._

 _"Only a few but I don't listen unless it's from you," he teased._

 _"Uh nobody else better be telling you you're the best friend in the world. Tell me who and I'll beat them up!" I said raising a fist and shoving a donut in my mouth with the other hand._

 _"Like you could," he laughed. "Slow down, there's a whole box! Plus I'm cooking!"_

 _"Shut up!" I laughed as I swallowed._

 _"It isn't lady like to speak with your mouthful!"_

 _"Who says I'm a lady!" I retorted._

 _"Isn't that the truth!" he smirked. By now he had come up beside me. I slapped him on the back of the head._

 _"Jerk!"_

 _"You said it first I just agreed! How am I a jerk?" he asked confused rubbing his head where I smacked him as if I actually hit him hard._

 _"Because you're not supposed to agree," I said laughing at him._

 _"God you're annoying," he muttered going towards the stove again._

 _"Maybe, but admit it, I'm your favorite!" I teased._

 _"Eh somedays," he shrugged._

 _"Ugh! Asshole!"_

 _"Hey I'm cooking you bacon and bought you donuts!"_

 _"Still an asshole!" he just shrugged in acceptance._

 _"So whats the plan for today?" I asked_

 **Present Day:**

When we got there, Mia decided to come in and hang out with me for a while. I immediately went to search for Eddie to see what was going on. We found him as soon as I turned down one of the hallways. He looked pretty happy to see us and it didn't take an idiot to figure out why.

"Hey, What's going on?" I asked.

"You have a meeting with the top execs in a little while. Right now they're busy so you can go into the studio and work with Dimitri. They'll send for you when ready," he told me.

"Ok cool. Are you busy?" I asked him an idea forming.

"Why?" he asked hesitantly.

"Because I was thinking, Mia might be coming to hang out with me frequently but I'm not always going to be able to be with her so it might be nice if someone could give her a tour so she doesn't get lost," I said with a grin. His face lit up.

"Oh yea, of course. I have plenty of time!" he said brightly. Then he gestured down the hallway. "Right this way Mia."

As she passed me she smiled at me and winked. I smiled and gave her a small head nod before I watched her turn away and start walking down the hallway. Almost immediately they picked up a conversation and I grinned excited for her. I turned the other way and went towards studio A where I knew Dimitri would be. That immediately made my smile disappear but I shrugged it off and tried to put on a brave face. When I entered the sound booth, Dimitri was sitting there on his phone with a pair of head phones on listening to something. He looked up and slid the headphones off.

"Well if it isn't our latest celebrity," he said but I couldn't tell if he was mad or happy.

"Looks like it," I muttered.

"I did warn you."

"I didn't say I was upset. Was it the best way for people to learn my name? No. but at the same time oh well. I made a good friend and had a good time and I don't regret it."

"Yea it definitely looked like you were having a good time," he said smartly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked defensively.

"Nothing, you just looked really close last night," he said. "If I didn't know better I would think something was going on with you two."

"Well you do no better so drop it. Adrian's a really cool guy and a great friend."

"You've known him for 12 hours!" Dimitri exclaimed.

"Yea well sometimes it doesn't matter how long you've known somebody to get a good read on them. For example I spent what 15 minutes with Tasha and I can tell you she's a gold digging witch. I spent a few hours with Adrian and I could tell deep down, he's a good guy."

"Maybe you need to learn how to read people better," he smarted off.

"Maybe I do, because I actually thought you were a good guy for a while too," I retorted. I could see the hurt immediately fill his eyes and almost regretted it but a part of me was too pissed off to actually regret it. Luckily about then Adrian entered.

"Did I interrupt?" he asked looking at me. I shook my head.

"What's up?" I asked him.

"They're ready for us," he said opening the door and holding it open for me.

"Us?" I asked walking through. "You're meeting with them too?"

"Ugh yea little red I was involved too," he laughed.

"I just figured they were firing me," I laughed.

"No they wouldn't have wasted everyone's time like this if they were you just probably would've gotten a phone call," he admitted. I just nodded along. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders as Dimitri followed behind. I just tried my best to ignore him. "So how's it feel being famous?"

"Oh great," I said sarcastically. "Everyone thinks I'm your new secret lover. Luckily no one at work really figured out it was me but I'm sure it won't take long."

"Well I mean we can go ahead and make it official and just announce our relationship to the world so it's not secret anymore," he winked. I playfully shoved him and rolled my eyes.

"Shut up. Jesse won't even return my calls right now. He's super pissed at me thinking I lied to him and now that I'm cheating on him!" I laughed. "As if you're even my type!"

"Rose, I'm hurt! Here I was thinking we could be the next Brangelina! Wait they're breaking up…the next Blake and Gwen!" he said putting his hand on his heart like he was wounded. Then he turned and winked at me. "Do you need me to call him and tell him about our hot love affair?"

"Excuse me kids but if you don't mind we kind of have a meeting we need to get to," Dimitri said grumpily from behind us. I rolled my eyes and bit my tongue.

"Relax Dimitri, you know you're my only one!" Adrian said turning towards him.

"Gag!" I laughed before playing along. "That explains a lot! Does Tasha know? Is that why she's so bitchy?"

"There's nothing for Tasha to know. Now can we get to this meeting and act like we're all adults?"

"Calm down grandpa. We're just joking around. No need to get your panties in a wad," I said getting annoyed at him.

"Yea man chill," Adrian said. By then we were at the doors to the conference room. We stopped and I let Dimitri pass before turning towards Adrian again

"And no I don't need you to call Jesse. He'll get over it soon enough. Or he wont," I shrugged then followed Dimitri into the room. There were several people in there I hadn't met and a few I'd seen around. Eddie was in there with Mia. They were talking close together until I came in.

"Rose!" Mia said coming over to me. She hugged me before whispering in my ear. "He asked me out!" I laughed as she pulled away.

"Took you long enough," Eddie joked. A few of the people I hadn't met yet shook my hand and introduced themselves. I almost died laughing when I saw the last guy coming towards me luckily I held it in. He was wearing a blue suit with a bright green and gold scarf and a gold earring in both ears.

"Ah Rosemarie, I've been waiting to meet you. Though I was hoping it would be under different circumstances," he said coming up and shaking my hand.

"Um I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage, you are?" I asked.

"Rose!" Dimitri exclaimed from beside me as Adrian and Abe laughed.

"What?" I asked.

"Well that's a first. My name is Abe Mazur. I own this record label," he smiled. My heart dropped in my chest.

"Oh. Now I get it. Sorry." I apologized shrugging.

"No harm," he laughed. "Come have a seat so we can get started."

I went over and sat in between Mia and Adrian. Alberta and Dimitri sat across from us, beside them was Eddie and the other guys I hadn't known. I think one had said he was in charge of PR and one was in charge of security. Then Abe sat at the head of the table closest to me and Adrian.

"Who's your friend Rose?" Abe asked in a tone that implied a 'and why is she here?' at the end.

"Um this is Mia, she's my people," I smiled. He nodded. Dimitri glared at me and I shrugged.

"Well hi Mia," he nodded before turning towards Adrian and staring him down. "Now down to business. Adrian are you and Rosemarie dating or planning on dating anytime soon?"

"Um excuse me. Can you not call me that? It kind of brings out my violent side and I'd rather not lose my record contract for being a smart ass to the president of the company?" I asked. Dimitri's eyes widened and I saw a few shocked looks. Adrian laughed and after a few seconds so did Abe.

"Wow you are even worse than I'd heard," he smiled.

"Is that a good thing?" I asked confused. "Wait how much have you heard? I've only been here a day."

"Yes it is, and enough" he smirked. "Now back to the question Adrian."

"No sir. We just met last night. She helped me write a song and we went out to celebrate. Not for my lack of trying though!" I shot him a look.

"That's it?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yes sir," I told him. "I have a boyfriend and I'm definitely not interested in Adrian like that," I said glaring at Adrian. He just smiled.

"Well that's good to hear. So now we need to discuss what we're going to do about this situation."

"We think we have a good solution," Alberta said excited looking at me and Adrian. "Adrian has been talking about wanting to change up his sound and we've been trying to figure out something to do for that children's charity. We've decided you and Adrian are going to do an album of duets. If we get good reactions from it then we'll let Adrian release a few singles of his new stuff. Half the proceeds will go to the children's hospital. We think it's a good way to get Rose some really good exposure before releasing her own album and a good way for Adrian to try out his new sound."

"How many songs?" Adrian asked.

"13-15" Alberta Said.

"So I'm not in trouble?" I asked.

"Why would you be in trouble?" Abe asked.

"I don't know," I shrugged.

"No you're not in trouble," Alberta smiled. "There is a catch though. I know you're only trying this out on a temporary basis because of some issues but, Dimitri is going to be producing this album and we'll need you to sign a longer contract."

"Can I think about it?" I asked.

"Of course!" Alberta said "But um, we're going to need to know by the end of the day."

"Ok." I said slouching a little knowing I was already going to say yes more than likely.

"Ok now I asked Hans to come in here because today the paparazzi and public are trying to figure out who you are. Tomorrow or even tonight, they're going to know. So we need to take some precautions. We're going to start slow and see where it goes. So Hans here has set you up with a key card so you'll have access. Don't lose it. Plus we're going to need a list of people that we're allowed to let in," Abe said.

"Well I don't really know anyone so the only person that should be coming in to see me would probably be Mia. I don't really know anyone else that would come here," I said honestly.

"Ok well that's good. If you think of anymore contact Hans so he can add them in the system. We're going to keep an eye on things and see how bad they get before we take any other precautions. I don't think it should get too bad. Though I would watch out at your job. Though once you sign a contract we can give you a signing bonus and you can quit that job," Abe hinted.

"I said I'd think about it," I laughed.

"Alright well that's all for now," Alberta said standing up. "Go finish working with Dimitri and let me know what you decide. I'll be here kind of late tonight."

I stood up but before I could walk out Abe interrupted.

"Oh and Rosemarie," I turned towards him internally rolling my eyes. It showed my great restraint that I didn't roll them in front of him or smart off. "I look forward to working with you in the future."

"You too Abe," I said as nicely as I could before walking out. Mia was right behind me and Adrian followed her.

"Oh my God! That was so rude!" Mia laughed, I shrugged.

"So Rose. You and me need to talk," Adrian said. "I'm going to need you to say yes for me."

"Well thanks," I laughed.

"I'm just saying it's good for you too!" he said as we walked down the hallway.

"Oh yea, tell me how it's a great idea for me to be forced to work with my ex!" I said lowering my voice since I knew Dimitri was just on the other side of the door behind us.

"Because. Who knows when the next record deal will come? Plus this gives you a lot of exposure and you need it as a new artist. Even if you did get a record deal somewhere else, this duet cd is a great thing for you to launch your career," he reasoned and I knew he was right. I groaned. He turned towards Mia. "Oh hi by the way, I'm Adrian."

"Yea I know who you are," she laughed. "Mia. And I think he's right. I think it's worth it to try."

"So Little red I have a question," Adrian said smirking.

"What?" I asked warily.

"What if we were the last two people on earth?"

"What happened to everyone else?" I laughed.

"Zombie apocalypse"

"So there's still zombies?" I asked pretending to be hopeful.

"You'd choose zombies over me? What the hell?" He asked astounded. Mia laughed.

"Maybe…"I said pretending to think about it. His jaw fell. "I'm kidding! You'd have a chance over the zombies. But if we were the last two people on earth that means everyone I love is dead. My friends, the Belikovs, everyone. I'd probably be too sad to think about sex."

"But see that's where I'd swoop in and console and charm you," he winked.

"So you'd take advantage of a grieving woman?" I teased.

"Hey if its my only chance! Got to take what you can get!" he smirked.

"Pig!" I said fake pushing him.

"Worth it!" he teased. I rolled my eyes.

"If you're done," Dimitri said from behind me making me jump slightly. "Can you get to the studio so we can get to work?"

"Did you hear the good news? I have a chance!" Adrian exclaimed. I slapped him for real on the shoulder.

"Not what I said,' I told him.

"Hey a chance is a chance. I can be hopeful!" he winked.

"Actually I do think the zombies have a better chance," Dimitri interrupted. "She has a thing for them."

"Ew not sexually! Just in movies!" I laughed.

"Oh horror buff?" Adrian asked.

"Not really, just zombies," I said glaring at Dimitri not to say anything about the fact that I love horror movies but they also terrify me at the same time. He smirked but didn't say anything.

"It's ok Little red. I'll protect you." Adrian said throwing an arm around my shoulders. Mia was just watching smirking.

"Can we get to work now?" Dimitri said annoyed.

"Sounds good. Bye," I said playfully shoving Adrian away. Dimitri and I walked into the studio. Mia stood at the doorway.

"Um I'm going to go find Eddie, we have some things to discuss," she winked before walking away. I sat down on the couch as Dimitri sat at the producer's chair.

"I still say you need to watch out," he warned I knew he was referring to Adrian.

"You know why I went out with Adrian last night?" I asked but continued before he could respond. "Because despite everything you say or think about him. Adrian is a good guy and I trust him. He's actually been a really good friend and we'll probably hang out a lot more. I'm not interested in dating him and he knows that. He knows there's no chance in hell of me dating him and he's ok with it. He's just a flirt and likes to tease. You know one of the reasons he does? Because he knows it makes me laugh. He does it for me as strange as that is. So quit telling me to back off or stay away from him because Adrian is a damn good person and I'm not going to listen to you trash him or degrade him."

"You've known him less than a day! You don't know what he's like when he goes off on a bender or his bad days. All you've seen of him is his charm!"

"I've seen all I need to see. We all have our demons and our flaws. You don't know what my bad days are like anymore does that mean I'm a bad person? Cause I have bad days. No. that doesn't make him a bad person either. Now can you once and for all quit warning me against Adrian. If I sign onto this CD we're more than likely going to be around each other a lot, all three of us and I don't need this unnecessary drama. You want to call me childish for fake flirting in the hallway how about you grow up and stop acting like an ass. You have no right to tell me who I can and cannot be around or be friends with so get over it!" I shouted the last part, fed up with this conversation.

"Fine," he said raising his hands in a surrendering motion. "I'll stop. I just don't want to see you hurt in the end."

"Well if I do get hurt, at least I made my own decisions. Besides, we're just friends and that's all we're ever going to be. And honestly if he somehow did hurt me while being just friends, I promise I'll be ok. I've gone through a lot worse. And no I don't mean you."

"Ok." He said. About then the phone on the wall rang. Dimitri answered it before handing it to me.

"Hello?" I said hesitantly wondering how anyone knew I was in here.

"Ms. Hathaway, there's a man here saying he's your boyfriend but you didn't add him on the list. His name is Jesse Zeklos, is it ok if I allow him in?" a male voice, I'm assuming Hans, asked through the receiver.

"Yea you can let him in," I sighed knowing I was about to get in another fight.

"Ok I'll have someone show him where you are." he said before the line went dead.

"So Jesse is on his way back here is there any way you can give us a few minutes of privacy? I need to talk to him about last night," I asked Dimitri praying this wouldn't start a fight too.

"Yea that's fine. I'll be down the hall if you need anything." He said thankfully not arguing or warning me this time. He walked out and about 30 seconds later the door swung open with a bang.

"What the hell Jesse?" I said running behind him and closing it.

"WHAT THE HELL? WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" he yelled throwing a magazine down on the sound board. I glanced over at it and saw it had Adrian and I on the front and it looked like we were about to kiss from that angle. Unfortunately whoever had taken it did a good job of hiding the microphones and the stage so you couldn't tell we were singing.

"That's not what it looks like, I-" I started before he cut me off.

"Why would I believe you? You said you were here working not hoeing yourself around town. Is that how you got a record deal? Screwing your way up?" he spit.

"I was here working. Adrian asked me to help him with a duet so I did. When we finished he wanted to go celebrate so we went to a karaoke bar to test it out. That's what we were doing in that picture. SINGING! Asshole! Don't you dare come in here acting like I'm a whore because you won't take ten seconds to hear me out!" I half-shouted angrily. He started coming towards me still furious. I backed up, not scared of him because I knew I could take him but I really wasn't looking for a fight.

"Oh you want to get feisty with me now?" he put his hand lightly against my throat but as he kept talking it would get a little tighter and tighter, nothing I couldn't handle. "You may have a new makeover but you're still the pathetic bitch that's lucky to have me. You should be on your knees right now begging for forgiveness so that maybe I'll take your cheating ass back."

"You're going to want to let go in the next here seconds or you're going to be the one on your knees. Only you won't be able to beg cause you'll be crying instead," I warned him livid that he even thought he could get away with putting his hands on me.

"Is that right?" he asked.

"One," I nodded starting the countdown.

"What are you going to-" he was cut open by the door busting open again.

"Let her go now," Dimitri said from the doorway.

"Oh yea What are you-" again he was cut off but this time by my fist.

"Three." I said as he fell to the ground. Dimitri came over and lifted him up by the collar, dragged him across the room, then threw him into the hallway.

"Leave now," he growled.

"This isn't over," he yelled as he walked away blood pouring out of his nose. I laughed at the sight.

"It was over the second you entered the room," I hollered back. I closed the door before turning on Dimitri. "I didn't need your help!"

"You're welcome," he smarted off.

"I had it handled," I said.

"Well how was I supposed to know! I walk by and see him holding you by the throat! I'm not going to ignore it."

"Did you forget the part where you are the one that taught me how to fight?" I asked angry that he got involved. Angry that he even witnessed any of that.

"Yes but you also just told me last night how you were in an abusive relationship! How was I supposed to know you were even going to attempt to defend yourself?" he exclaimed. I sighed. He was right. I didn't want to admit it though.

"That was a long damn time ago and it's never going to happen again. So future reference I don't need your help. Now if we can be done for today, I need a drink!" I said walking into the hallway and towards Alberta's office. She was busy so I went to the front and found Mia and Eddie. Hans was also sitting at the front desk and I told him to take Jesse off the list of welcomed visitors.

"What happened babe?" Mia asked.

"We just broke up," I told her.

"Oh no! How come?" she asked.

"He tried to put his hands on me. I yelled at him, Dimitri came in and threw him out, then I yelled at Dimitri and now I just really want to get out of here but I'm waiting to talk to Alberta."

"I'll kick his ass!" Eddie said upset.

"He's already gone. It wasn't that big of a deal. But thanks anyways," I smiled.

"Wait why'd you yell at Dimitri?" she asked pulling me off to the side so the guys couldn't hear.

"Because it pissed me off he interfered," I said bluntly.

"It pissed you off that when somebody was attacking you he stepped in to help?" she asked confused. "That sounds hot to me, not like a reason to get upset."

"Well I am ok. He knew I could handle myself yet he jumped in where he didn't belong," I said. I knew I was being petty but I didn't really care.

"Ok why are you really mad?" she asked knowing me too well.

"Ugh fine. He warned me about Jesse last night and said to stay away then all day today we've been arguing because he's trying to warn me away from Adrian and I've been arguing that Adrian's a good guy and I'm a good judge of character then this shit happens and he saw it all."

"So you're embarrassed?" she asked.

"I guess. Yes. I am." I admitted.

"Come here," she laughed giving me a hug. I laughed with her knowing how foolish I was being.

"So you going to go apologize?" she asked pulling away.

"Hell no!" I said. "I might be wrong but I don't have to admit it."

"Stubborn bitch," she laughed.

"Damn right!" I laughed back. I knew she was working in about thirty minutes so I made plans with her and Eddie to meet up at the bar. She was leaving now, we would leave in a little while when I could talk to Alberta. I left her to say her goodbyes and went back to her office. She was still on the phone so I went to studio B to talk to Adrian.

"Feel like going out tonight?" I asked through the open doorway.

"Little Red, I always feel like going out with you," he said looking up at me and away from the guitar he was messing with.

"Good meet me by the front door in about 20 minutes. I have to talk to Alberta and make a pit stop on the way. Eddie's up there waiting already."

"Who all is coming?"

"Mia is bartending so Eddie and I are going to go hang out up there for a little while. I just got in a fight with Jesse and we broke up so I feel like a drink or two."

"Sounds like a plan. Meet you in 20."

I just nodded and walked away thankful he didn't make any jokes or advances when I told him Jesse and I had broken up. I sighed and regretted what I was about to do. I entered studio A and found Dimitri still in there but he had the headphones back on. I tried to say something but he couldn't hear me so I tapped his shoulder. He pulled the headphones down and turned towards me.

"I didn't expect to see you in here again today," he admitted.

"Yea well I came to see if you wanted to come hang out with us tonight? Eddie, Adrian, and I are going to go hang out with Mia while she bartends tonight. I know I could use a drink after today and I'm sure you could too."

"I mean yea I could but why are you inviting me?" he asked surprised.

"Because you keep bitching at me about Adrian and the three of us are going to have to work together a lot so might as well try to start somewhere away from here where we can try to just relax." I admitted. "Besides even though I'm still pissed at you for interfering and I'm not saying thank you, you did what you thought needed to be done earlier so…"

"Is that your way of apologizing for biting my head off about trying to help?" he smirked.

"No. I am not apologizing. I didn't do anything wrong. You should have never gotten involved!" I defended.

"Mhmmm," he nodded still smirking. "Whatever you say."

"Do you want to come or not? By the way your girlfriend is not allowed. I don't need to fight with somebody else tonight."

"She's on a trip anyways. Yea I'll come." He said.

"K meet us up front in like 10-15 minutes." I said before walking out the door. I made my way too Alberta's office. This time she was finally off the phone. I told her I would do the extended contract for both the duet cd and my solo album with the exception that if another producer came along and I wanted to change I could. She relented and said she would draw up the paperwork for me to sign the next day.

When I got to the front everyone was already there and waiting.

"Ready?" I asked. They nodded. "Let's go."


	13. Chapter 12 Eye of the Storm

**Hey beautiful people! It's like 4 days over the 2 week mark but in my defense, I posted that last chapter a few days early! On a bright note I may have the next chapter almost ready to be reviewed then posted!**

 **Let me seriously know what you think about this chapter. I struggled writing this for a few days wondering if it flowed right and everything or if it was too much, so honesty is welcomed and strongly encouraged!**

 **I am super excited for the next few chapters just so you know…got a few things up my sleeve ;)**

 **Oh real quick, on the music, I definitely always encourage listening to the songs posted as your reading (If it's a chapter with a lot, I completely understand) but, I've learned even though I'm writing it and know all of these songs almost word by word, the emotion is so much better when listening to the music while reading….just a suggestion…I do always try to put songs and artists (and versions used if different from the original) at the bottom if you want to jump down before you read it and get them ready…**

 **As always thank you all for your support and encouragement, it means so much to me!**

 **Love, Cassandra**

 _ **Middle of the semester, a few weeks after homecoming (Rose freshman, Dimitri Junior)**_

 _A month or two after the homecoming incident things had returned to normal. Reed had shown up to school that Monday with a black eye and a fat lip. Word got around pretty quickly that Reed was an asshole without too many details being shared and he quickly became a nobody. At first Dimitri had been super protective over me but he was now easing up and stopped surrounding me constantly. It had been nice for a while, but eventually it got overbearing so I was glad he was actually going out this weekend and not staying in with me again. After the weekend where Dimitri and I had the movie night, Olena figured out he'd lied so I've been staying at their house on the weekends instead of partying, not to say I was too scared to go to any parties but honestly as hungover as I'd been the next day I wanted to lay low for a while. I did not need a repeat of the constant puking and headache from hell._

 _"Hey Rose, how's it going?" Mason said sitting next to me at our table in the cafeteria. Since starting school mason and I had been sitting at the same table together along with a few other people. Lissa used to sit with us every day but since her and Aaron became a thing they took turns sitting with the football players and cheerleaders and us, along with Dimitri. Sometimes Mason and I sat with them but there was only so much I could take of the airheads. Don't get me wrong quite a few of them were pretty cool but a lot of the cheerleaders hated me because I was Dimitri's best friend and after the whole Reed incident when Dimitri sat with me every day and ignored them, the hatred grew. He finally had started sitting with the team again but would randomly come over to Mason and me. At this current moment I was watching some airhead flirt with him and he was just playing along. I rolled my eyes._

 _"It's good. But god what does he see in these idiots?" I asked annoyed._

 _"Aw are you jealous he isn't sitting with you today?" Mason asked sarcastically laughing._

 _"Ew! No, it's just why does he keep actually dating these girls that only have a single brain cell between them? Like really?" I said annoyed. Truthfully I was irrationally jealous but I'd never admit it. Lissa came over and sat beside me._

 _"Be careful. She's in a mood," Mason warned her._

 _"I am not!" I defended. I looked over at Lissa and explained. "I just don't understand what Dimitri sees in all of these bimbos? Like why does he fall for that stupid innocent act?"_

 _"Sex," Mason interjected._

 _"Ew gross," I said pretend gagging._

 _"I'm just saying. That's why he does it."_

 _"Ugh! Then he's a bigger idiot than I thought!" I ranted._

 _"Oh Rose," Lissa chuckled._

 _"What?" I asked looking at her._

 _"Mase, can you give us some girl time?" she asked turning towards Mason._

 _"If you're going to talk about how Rose is jealous, I really don't need to leave. I already know," he sighed._

 _"I am not!" Lissa gave me a look. "I'm not!"_

 _"Mason, please?" she asked sweetly._

 _"Ugh fine!" he said resigned. He grabbed his tray and sulked over to where Dimitri and Aaron were._

 _"Ok now when are you going to admit you have feelings for Dimitri and you're jealous?" she asked looking serious._

 _"I don't have feelings for Dimitri. I'm not jealous!" I defended._

 _"Oh come on! Even if you don't want to admit you have feelings, you have to admit you're jealous. He's been waiting on you hand and foot for a month now. Now he's finally showing interest in other girls and you're jealous that you're not getting the attention."_

 _"I will admit it was nice because he was always here but it also got tiring and I'm glad he went back to his table."_

 _"Back to his table but not back to the girls," she pointed out._

 _"That part he could have left out," I admitted._

 _"Exactly! You're jealous."_

 _"Fine! Ok. I'm jealous. But I don't like him like that. I just want him to pay attention to me not those bimbos," I said rolling my eyes._

 _"Do you hear yourself right now? 'I don't want him but I don't want him to want anyone else'," Admit you like him."_

 _"Never!" I said standing up. "Now excuse me I have class to get to."_

 _"You'll admit it sooner or later," she laughed as I walked away. I dumped my food and headed towards the gym where I had my dance class next. Unfortunately I wasn't the only one who'd shown up early. Avery Lazar, AKA Reed's little sister was also there waiting. I rolled my eyes and braced for a fight._

 _"Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in," she practically hissed._

 _"Nice to see you too Avery," I said putting my backpack down and sitting on the bleachers._

 _"How does it feel knowing you ruined someone's life?" she asked._

 _"I didn't ruin his life. He dug his own grave."_

 _"Oh whatever Miss Princess. He didn't even do anything, you just like drama so you had to create some where there wasn't any. Unfortunately your stupid wannabe boyfriend believes everything you say, I don't know why, and went along with it," she said coming towards me._

 _"Your asshole brother assaulted me and tried to take advantage of me while I was too drunk to fend him off! He's not even a little innocent in this whole situation. He's lucky I didn't press charges!" I said getting angry._

 _"Oh whatever you whore! I'm sure you were begging for it! Can't get it from Dimitri cause he see's you as the pathetic little tag along so you had to go looking for it somewhere else!" she half-yelled._

 _"Why is it the only way you all feel like you can attack me is by using Dimitri? Are you all that jealous?" I asked livid but trying not to show it._

 _"Oh please! Who would be jealous of you. All you will ever be to him is that sad little girl following him around because she has no home to go to. You're no better than a lost damn dog!" she said getting in my face. In my defense I tried really hard. So hard to resist but, before I knew it my arm flew back then swung forward to punch her right in the face. I immediately saw blood. Unfortunately my victory was short lived because as soon as my hand had made contact with her face it pain shot through it. Luckily she backed away and grabbed at her face._

 _"YOU PSYCHOTIC BITCH!" She shrieked as she started crying._

 _"Hathaway!" Came a shout from behind me. I immediately recognized Mikhail, one of the football coaches, voice._

 _"Let me guess, principle?" I asked turning around._

 _"Good guess. Head there while I take Ms. Lazar to the nurse. Looks like you broke her nose," he said with a half-grin. He was a pretty cool guy, he let all of the students call him by his first name unless you were a player at practice or a game, and even then he's pretty lenient. I've known him for a few years now, he actually seemed to really like me unlike most of my teachers who get annoyed by my sarcasm. He usually just rolled with it._

 _"In my defense she deserved it. And started it. And I hurt my hand too!" I replied._

 _"I'm sure she did," he said rolling his eyes at me. "You can have Olena check your hand later, when Ms. Lazar isn't in there. Office now."_

 _"Aye Aye!" I said turning and grabbing my bag. As I headed out the doors, a big group of students started to come in._

 _"Damn Hathaway!" "What'd you do to Avery" and the likes started going through the crowd as Mikhail brought her out behind me. I just ignored them and kept walking._

 _"Can I at least grab an ice pack?" I hollered back to Mikhail once we both entered the main building again. "It's right there and I'll be quick."_

 _"Fine," he relented. I quickly ran in and headed straight for the freezer._

 _"Can't stay. Don't be mad at me. She deserved it. Love you!" I shouted to Olena in her office as I grabbed the ice pack and a rag and headed out the door before she could speak._

 _Forty-five minutes later I was finally in Olena's office getting my hand looked at. I'd had to stay in the principal's office until Olena had called down and said Avery was gone. I got a weeks' worth of detention and a day of in school suspension._

 _"Why did you hit her Roza?" she asked wrapping my hand. Then she laughed and added, "And who taught you to hit?"_

 _"I just swung. Did I do it wrong?" I asked._

 _"Yea honey you did," she chuckled._

 _"How do you do it then?" I asked._

 _"Oh no, I'm not telling you that. Who knows who you'd hit next!" she laughed._

 _"Probably your stupid son, sorry I didn't mean that," I said immediately apologizing. "Well I did but, I didn't mean to say it to you."_

 _"What did Dimka do now?" she chuckled._

 _"This was all his fault!" I said throwing my hands up in the air. As soon as my hands hit my legs though I winced and realized that was a bad idea._

 _"It's going to be sore for a few days, you sprained your thumb pretty good. Could hurt for a couple of weeks. Now why was it his fault?" she said walking into her office knowing I'd follow. As far as nurse's offices go hers was pretty cool. She had the main treatment area with three small treatment beds just big enough for someone to lay down on. There was a fridge and a desk and quite a few cabinets off to the side that stored all of her supplies. Then off to the far backside there was an attached office with a desk and two chairs and a TV. She claimed the TV was in case there was an emergency she could watch the news, I knew she really watched her soap operas on it. She said she liked them because when she came to America that was one of the things that helped her learn more English._

 _"Because," I said following her and sitting in the chair beside her desk. "It started at Lunch where he was flirting with a girl who's a complete airhead and I just got so annoyed. Why does he keep going for girls like that? That's not attractive. At least I don't see how it is. Then I left lunch early, I know it's a shocker. I tried to go to dance class early to cool off but Avery was there and started saying really mean things. I tried! I tried so hard Mama Belikova I didn't want to hit her and I tried not to. She even accused me of lying about Reed and about coming onto him then lying to create drama and I still didn't hit her. But then she said something about me being a lost puppy to Dimitri because I have no home of my own and I snapped!"_

 _"Oh sweetheart!" she said softly. I saw the pity on her face and immediately teared up. "Just ignore her. You're not a lost dog to Dimitri or to anybody. He's your friend because he likes you as a person, not because he feels sorry for you."_

 _"But she's right I am just a lost puppy! I do follow Dimitri and Lissa around because I have nowhere else to go! It's not like I have anyone at home and if they are there they don't really want me there!" I said as I started to cry. Olena came over and wrapped her arms around me._

 _"Oh sweet girl. You are not a lost puppy. Does Lissa come to your house? Or to mine?" she asked. I nodded confused._

 _"Does she have a home she could be at?" she asked. I nodded again._

 _"Is she a lost dog?" I shook my head._

 _"See, neither are you. Just because you go to friends' houses to get away from your own doesn't make you lost. It makes you human. And if you stopped coming to my house you know I'd hunt you down and bring you right back because we all love you and love having you there."_

 _"Sonya doesn't,' I sniffed._

 _"Yea well Sonya has her own problems, she'll come around one day," she smiled softly at me. "Don't ever let anyone use your family against you. Because you know what it might not be perfect but nobody's is. Besides, you do have a home to come to."_

 _"I do?" I asked._

 _"Of course! My beautiful Roza, you're part of our family. That means you'll always have a home with us forever." Then I did the most embarrassing thing ever and started crying tears of happiness. I hugged her again tightly. Eventually she pulled away and handed me some Kleenex tissues. "Better?"_

 _"Yea. Sorry for being so crazy today," I said softly._

 _"It's alright Roza. It happens to the best of us," she smiled. "How about I dig in the freezer and pull out my secret stash of ice cream and candy and we'll both play hooky and watch TV?"_

 _"You'd do that for me?" I asked shocked. She nodded._

 _"It will be our secret," she smiled. "I think you deserve it."_

 _"But I punched Avery," I said._

 _"And I'm betting you already got some detention and in school suspensions from the principal?" I nodded. "There you go. You'll still get your punishment but for now I think you deserve some ice cream. For your hand of course."_

 _"I think that sounds like a good idea," I smiled at her. "Plus I did leave lunch early."_

 _"Now about my foolish son…"_

 **Present:**

Somehow we all ended up in Dimitri's car, today he had a jeep so there was room for everyone. Adrian had decided he'd just take a cab home and Eddie didn't have his car with him today. Because I was the only girl I ended up in the front seat. I don't know why but that's what they decided on. Adrian smirked at me from the back. I rolled my eyes at him. Nobody said anything except for me telling Dimitri the name of the bar. He'd been there before so I didn't need to give him directions. A couple of minutes in it started to get awkward so I turned the radio on and cranked it. A top pop song came on so I started singing trying to ignore the tension. By the time we got there everyone but Dimitri was singing along. Dimitri was smiling but I knew there was no way he'd ever sing in a car full of people. Even if he is famous for singing…

As soon as we got there I made my way to the bar. The guys went to find a table. I deposited my bag on the back shelf behind the bar by Mia's before going back to the front of the bar.

"Sooooo I see Dimitri is here…." Mia started.

"I decided to try to be nice. I'm not apologizing so this was the next best thing. Besides we all need to learn to get along if we're making an album together," I smirked at her.

"Yay!" she squealed. "Ok shots on the house for you! Congratulations!"

"Ok go sit, I'll be by in a minute. What do you want? Your usual?" she asked. I nodded and made my way over to where they were.

"So Mia is going to come over here in a second and get your drink orders," I said sitting at the round table they had chosen. Luckily they got smart and left the spot between Eddie and Adrian open so I was across from Dimitri.

"So are you going to leave us hanging or are you going to tell us what you decided?"

"Like she would have actually said no," Adrian smarted off.

"Well actually…" I said looking down like I was upset. I saw all three of them react with surprise. Then I smiled up at them, "I accepted. With a few conditions that have to be hammered out. But as of tomorrow I will be officially signed on to do the duet album with you and a solo album for myself."

"I knew you wouldn't be able to turn it down. You like me too much little red." I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"Congratulations," Dimitri said.

"Thanks," I said softly, looking up at him. About then Mia arrived. She came up between Eddie and me.

"Hey party people. To celebrate your new record deals, I brought everyone shots on the house!" she said cheerfully passing them around.

"No thanks," Dimitri said when she went to hand it to him.

"More for me," Adrian shrugged reaching for it. Mia pulled it away.

"I think Rose should get it first," she said smiling at me and handing it to me.

"I got a record deal too!" Adrian complained.

"Did you also end a relationship today?"

"No," he muttered.

"Did your boyfriend attempt to physically harm you?" she asked him. At that I laughed. I should have been upset by her comment but I really wasn't.

"Fine, I get it!" he admitted. She moved it in front of me.

"I don't know," I hesitated.

"Come on little Red. Live a little. You deserve it. Plus you're stuck with us for the night so you're going to need it!" Adrian laughed winking at me.

"Fine," I relented with a small smile. We all, minus Dimitri, cheered and clinked glasses before taking the shot then I quickly took my second one. I immediately felt the warming sensation go straight to my stomach. Luckily Mia had brought me my usual drink so I chased them down with it, hoping not to cough from the burning alcohol.

"Damn little red, you look like a professional taking those," Adrian joked.

"Oh I'm full of surprises," I joked not wanting to admit at one point of my life I pretty much was a professional drinker. Mia quickly took their drink orders and went back to the bar.

"I need to find out more of these surprises," Adrian smirked.

"I can't give away all my secrets," I retorted back. "Then I lose my mysterious edge."

"Oh trust me little red, I don't think it's possible to lose your edge," he winked.

"You'd be surprised," I said honestly I looked over at Dimitri who almost looked sad for whatever reason before looking back at Adrian. "I'm really not that interesting. Once you find that out, you'll see what I mean."

"Eh little red you don't give yourself enough credit," he said genuinely. I got uncomfortable with the talk all on me so I looked over at Eddie.

"So Eduardo, where are you taking Mia for your date?"

"You and Mia? You go man!" Adrian said giving him a high five.

"My name isn't Eduardo," he said blushing. "I haven't decided yet. Want to tell me things she likes?"

"Nuh-uh. You're on your own buddy. It's better if you pick it out yourself. She'll like that more."

About that time Mia came back with the drinks.

"Eddison and I were talking and he said he really feels like dancing. Have some down time?" I asked her smiling and winking at Eddie.

"Oh you were?" she laughed knowing what I was up to.

"Sure," he lied looking embarrassed at all the attention. I laughed that he didn't correct me on the name…hmmm…

"Well as luck would have it, I'm free for a little bit, my other bartender has things under control over there. Let's do it," she smiled. His face brightened and he stepped off the stool and led her to the dance floor.

"Little red, you want to come dance with me?" Adrian asked.

"Well I would love to but I think that pretty blonde over there might murder me if I do," I joked pointing to the blonde a few tables over who'd practically been ogling him since he came in. "She hasn't been able to keep her eyes off of you. I wouldn't want to be in the way."

"Ah but you know you're my favorite. I guess I'll go settle for her though," he winked. Before he walked off though he leaned forward and whispered in my ear. "You going to be ok?"

I smiled and nodded pushing him towards her. I laughed when she started to try to play hard to get. She only lasted about twenty seconds before caving and following him to the dance floor.

"You're in a surprisingly good mood," Dimitri said suspiciously.

"I keep trying to tell you Dimitri, I'm not easily hurt anymore," I said looking over at him. I could feel the alcohol kicking in already as I sipped my jack and coke that Mia had brought me.

"Even if you were you wouldn't show it," he guessed correctly.

"Well it's a good thing I'm not," I countered. "Where's the diva tonight?"

"I honestly have no idea. Some modeling thing I think," he said with a small shrug.

"Wow, you're a stellar boyfriend," I joked.

"What can I say? I'm not really that interested. She tells me how long she's going to be gone and that's about it," he admitted.

"Damn," I laughed.

"What?" he smirked.

"Nothing," I smiled.

"No seriously what?" he questioned.

"Trust me, you don't want to hear what I think," I told him. "So how long have you been producing?"

"A couple of years. When I quit the band I wanted out of the spotlight so I started producing."

"A real answer. I'm surprised."

"I don't mind talking about certain things but others are off limits. Just like you have your secrets."

"Ok, why did you quit the band?" I luckily hadn't had enough to voice what I was really thinking which was _'why'd you quit the band that you loved enough to leave me behind?'_

"It just wasn't the same as when we started. I changed and didn't really feel like associating with that kind of life. I wanted something quieter and out of the fame."

"Two honest answers in a row, damn I'm on a hot streak," I joked.

"Since I'm being so honest can I ask you a question and expect an honest answer?"

"It depends on what it is," I said warily.

"Where's your tattoo?" he asked with a smirk.

"Which one?" I retaliated with a smile knowing that would stump him.

"How many do you have?" he asked perplexed. "You've always hated tattoos now you have multiple?"

"I haven't hated tattoos, I just said they weren't for me. I have 3."

"Where?" he asked.

"Nope I said one question and I already gave it to you," I smirked.

"Ok different question?" he asked.

"First I need another drink, want a refill?" I asked looking at his beer.

"Waters fine," he said. That's when I noticed his first drink had been a soda.

"You not up for drinking tonight?" I asked.

"Truth? I pretty much am sober. I hardly ever actually drink."

"Since when?" I asked.

"A while," he answered vaguely.

"Ok," I said before standing up. When I did I wobbled a bit but quickly gained my balance back. I felt the liquor hit me harder. Dimitri reached over to help steady me but I waved him off before he touched me. "I'm ok. I'm good."

I made my way over to the bar and I ordered another whiskey and coke. Usually even though I knew Mia was taking me home I would never go over my two drink limit. Usually I wouldn't even let myself get this bad but I would never admit it out loud or even really to myself but I knew with Dimitri here I'd be ok. Even if he absolutely hates me, he could never let harm come to an intoxicated female while he was there. It's just not in his nature.

"Hey Rose, you gonna sing tonight?" asked Daniel, one of the bars regulars. He comes here Friday nights after work every week. He's a pretty cool guy, we talk a little when he's in here. Nothing romantic or anything just friends in a bar.

"No, I think I'm going to just drink tonight," I said with a smile.

"Oh I see, one TMZ spotting and you're too famous for us now," he joked.

"Oh geez, they don't even know my name!" I defended. "I just have been singing a lot here lately and kind of want to just hang out."

"I guess I understand," he relented with a smile. "Hear you're some new hot shot recording artist?"

"Yep, signing the dotted line tomorrow," I said proudly.

"That's good, I'm glad. Proud of you girl. I knew you were going places," he smirked.

"Oh whatever," I laughed.

"I'm serious. You're not just a karaoke singer, you got some talent."

"Thank you," I said sincerely as the bartender handed me my drink. "Well gotta get back to my friend over there."

"Boyfriend?" he asked.

"Ex, it's a long story. I'm trying to be nice hence the alcohol," I laughed. He stood up and gave me a hug.

"I expect to hear it next time. I am proud of you. Go have fun," he said nodding towards Dimitri. I made my way over to the table. It was still just Dimitri and I. I saw Mia and Eddie head towards the bar but he sat at a stool in front of it while she went back to work. I smiled happy to see them getting together.

"Friend of yours?" Dimitri asked nodding towards Daniel.

"Yep."

"Ok, can I ask the question now?" he asked.

"Sure, but I'm not promising an answer."

"What happened to Tennessee or Arizona?" he asked. I knew he was referring to college. Ever since I found out my favorite softball player had went to Arizona State that had been my dream school. I also had interest from Tennessee by the time I was sophomore and they had pretty much guaranteed me a full ride if I wanted it.

"I quit softball," I said honestly. "After that they weren't really interested and neither was I."

"Why? You loved it. You played on three different teams and still loved it," he said referring to me playing for high school, the city, and the travel ball team I was on freshman and sophomore year.

"Long story short. Something came up and I couldn't play anymore. Then when I could I didn't feel like it," I said leaving out pretty much everything.

"What came up that caused you to not be able to play?" he asked confused. I couldn't tell him the full truth or really any of it so instead I told him something that would ease his curiosity but wasn't a lie.

"I was in a car wreck," I told him. There really was a car wreck but I had quit a while before that.

"When did you quit?' he asked.

"Can we not? Please? I don't want to discuss this anymore," I said softly. Remembering the wreck and everything that lead up to it and the aftermath. "I shouldn't have said that much but I'm almost drunk and don't know how to keep my mouth shut. But this is bringing up stuff I'd rather not remember right now."

"Ok. I understand," he said softly seeing that I was getting agitated. Damn alcohol.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Depends on what it is?" he teased using my words from earlier.

"How many tattoos do you have Mr. Rock star?" I asked.

"2," he answered honestly.

"Where and what?" I asked.

"Nope, I'm not telling you unless you tell me," he smirked. I groaned but smiled at his reply. By that point Adrian made his way over to the table.

"Glad to see everyone still alive over here," he smirked.

"What happened to the blonde?" I asked.

"Bathroom," he smiled. "So care to dance with me? After we go get a refill first?"

"I think Rose has had enough," Dimitri interrupted.

"I think I'm still sober enough to know when I've hit my cut off limit thank you," I said looking over at him. I turned back towards Adrian. "Let's go."

"Atta girl," he said steadying me as I lost my balance again. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "We'll be back."

"So things seem to be going good with you two," Adrian noticed as we walked up to the bar beside Eddie.

"Eh we're being civil. Talking. Not arguing." I said honestly.

"Good. Hopefully you can keep it up. You two look to be having a good time," he said turning towards Eddie.

"It's not bad," Eddie smirked. Adrian signaled Mia for 3 more shots. I rolled my eyes knowing I shouldn't but not really caring enough to protest which should've been a warning sign itself. She brought us the shots plus an extra.

"What's this?" I asked.

"It's from Daniel as a congratulations," Mia laughed.

"Are you trying to kill me?" I hollered down at him.

"I figure if I get you drunk enough you might change your mind about singing," he laughed and raised his drink in a cheers motion. I shook my head but held the shot up and air clinked it towards him before downing it. Then I moved onto the shot between us three.

"Cheers," we clinked glasses and downed them.

"Come on. Let's dance before I'm too drunk to stand up," I laughed. I pulled Adrian's hand and tried to get Eddie. "Come on man, she's busy!"

"Fine," he laughed. "One song."

True to his word we danced one song before he ditched us again. Adrian and I made it a few songs before the blonde caught his attention again. By that point I was tired of dancing and really feeling the effect of the alcohol so I made my way back to the table where Dimitri was.

"Can we move to the booth beside us?" I asked looking at the tall chair and not wanting to attempt getting on it.

"Sure," Dimitri smirked knowing why I wanted to move. It was right beside the table so the boys and Mia would still be able to find us.

"So Dimitri," I said surprisingly catching myself before using his old nickname. "If you don't drink why did you come hang out with us tonight?"

"Just because I don't drink doesn't mean I can't have fun," he said with a smirk. "Besides you wanted to show me that Adrian was a good guy and such so I'm here. But he hasn't proven anything."

"Well duh. That's because you're here and he thinks he's being smart by making us sit at a table and talk," I drunkenly admitted.

"Oh is that his plan?" he asked.

"Yep. He thinks if we can make up then we'll get back together but I told him no. I said no way Jose but he doesn't believe me so here we are at a table by ourselves," I told him.

"I think you're a little drunk," he laughed.

"Maybe so but I'm still right," I said defiantly.

"I'm not arguing," he laughed. About then the song 'You & Me' came on.

"I like this song," I said softly. Then I started singing it.

 **If we bump in to each other on the crowded street**

 **It's not us no more**

 **It's just you and me**

 **We're just strangers in passing casually**

"That's us. We're just strangers now," I said softly. He didn't answer but, I didn't really expect him to. I kept singing until it got to the part about being too young when we met. "It's almost like this was written about us…except the cheating part later on. Being too young and stuff. Maybe that was our problem. We were too young and didn't realize life had other plans. Didn't really know what love was."

"Maybe," he said softly. "Roza, yesterday you said you understood why I didn't call you. What did you mean by that?"

"Because I'm expendable. Family's not though. That's why I'm confused." I admitted though I didn't know why. I just couldn't stop myself.

"Why do you think you're expendable?" he asked. I tried to shrug it off but the tears still started to prick at the back of my eyes. "Roza, why?"

"Why not? My parents knew it too. Long before I figured it out. When I did though…it helped. I became stronger and more resil…whatever that damn word is."

"Resilient?" he asked.

"That one. It's cool though. Not a big deal," I shrugged.

"Look at me," he said. I didn't I kept watching Adrian dance with the blonde. "Roza look at me."

"What?" I snapped facing him. Anger was easier to deal with then the pain I was feeling with my admissions so I relied on that.

"When I left and I chose not to contact you. It had nothing to do with you. It sure as hell didn't mean you were expendable. I didn't contact you because of my own fucked up issues, not because of you. Never because of you," he admitted.

"But you still left and I was still tossed aside. You still won't tell me why. That kind of proves my point," I said trying to hold on to the anger I was feeling before but, failing.

"I did it for you. I thought at the time it was a better choice. I did some things and made some choices and made some major mistakes and I didn't want you to be around any of it. At the time I thought it was the best for you."

"Well, you were wrong. Maybe you made the right one for you though, cause you weren't there," I said thinking out loud.

"Wasn't there for what?" he probed.

"I may be drunk but I'm not that drunk!" I half-laughed. "I still don't understand though. What could you have done that was so bad you thought we wouldn't forgive you?"

"That's a story for another day," he said. I knew he still had no intentions of telling me. I didn't say anything for a minute or two. Then the song 'Austin' by Blake Shelton came on. I looked over at Dimitri and he smirked.

"Shut up. I'm not. Not this time!" I laughed. He knew this song always made me cry.

"Not saying a word," he laughed. We sat there listening to it, at one point both of us started singing it softly. By the end when he calls the girl, a traitorous tear started to fall.

"Shut up!" I said wiping it away. "It's only cause I'm drunk and this is such a good song. It's such a great love song!"

"Of course. You'd never cry about a song when you're sober," he fake defended me smirking.

"Nope, never," I said ignoring his sarcasm. About then a song from Dimitri's band came on. It was one of the first ones they'd released. I was surprised they had because it was one Dimitri had written for me. In this one though Ivan sang. He and Dimitri had a tendency to take turns singing. I tried to ignore it and the fact that Dimitri was right in front of me. It's called "It Was Always You" about Dimitri realizing he loved me even though we'd always only been best friends.

"So, why'd you end up recording this song anyway?" I asked not able to help myself. Immediately regretting it.

"Why not? It's a great song and one of my favorites," he admitted.

"But it's not true," I stated trying to not show how much that affected me.

"A song doesn't have to be true forever for it to be true in the moment," he said softly. "And who said it's not?"

"Um the fact you left without a word," I said a little harsher than I had intended.

"It wasn't without a word and you encouraged me to go," he stated.

"We talked 2 or 3 times after you left so it might as well have been without a word. And yes I did encourage you to go but if I would have known this is how things would turn out I never would have," I admitted. "If anything just for your family. Then again maybe it was for the best."

"Why?" he asked. I shrugged. "No Roza you keep making comments like that, why is it better that I left?"

"Because a lot of reasons," I said internally cringing at my drunken grammar.

"Oh please continue," he said sarcastically.

"You know what. No I don't have to explain myself to you!" I exclaimed standing up. Unfortunately in my anger I stood up too fast and slipped. Dimitri caught me before I fell so I ended up leaning against his arm and chest. I straightened but that put my face to chest with him. All I really wanted to do was hold on tight and forget all of this even happened but I held on to my anger. I looked up at him. "I'll explain myself to you when you explain things to me."

I made my way to the bar and ordered a water knowing I needed water to help with the hang over tomorrow. I thought back to Dimitri and I's conversation. About then the song 'What Hurts the Most' by Rascal Flatts came on. I tried not to react but ever since the car crash and everything that happened, this song always made me cry. I was already emotional from our conversation and the last two songs and I was trying so hard and got about halfway before the first tear fell.

"Stupid ass alcohol," I muttered. I stood up from the stool I'd been sitting on at the bar and I made my way to the back door and stood in the alley. A few more tears had fallen but I somehow had been able to prevent a full on cry. I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm my emotions down. I knew I had to stop talking to Dimitri tonight. I was too drunk to filter what I said and the thing was even if I admitted everything, which would never happen, he still won't give me the answers I need which pisses me off. I thought back to everything we had talked about the last two days. I had told him more than I ever wanted to yet he hadn't told me anything. About then I heard the door open. I turned and saw Dimitri.

"You need to go back inside," I said pointing towards the door.

"I was coming to check on you. Make sure you weren't throwing up or anything," he said defensively.

"Well I'm fine so you can go back inside," I said harsher than I intended.

"What's your problem?" he snapped. Unfortunately because of my current state of intoxication, this was all I needed to let it all out. Every dang thing.

"What's my problem? My problem is I'm pissed. My problem is I'm drunk and way too damn emotional. And I just realized that I have literally told you more than I ever wanted to yet you won't tell me anything about the last five years. I told you I was in an abusive relationship and that I tried to commit suicide. I told you I felt expendable and about the car crash and everything else I've said and what have you told me? Why you quit the band and became a producer. You say you stopped contact with me FOR me yet I don't see how that's possible. I'm confused because I'm so pissed at you for leaving but at the same time I'm glad you weren't there. But then I'm mad you weren't there. And I don't know what to feel. I'm angry because my now ex-boyfriend thought he could choke me and you saw it and thought I would honestly allow it. I'm angry because I have fought for years now to control my emotions. I had them handled. I was able to store away everything inside this neat little corner of my mind and move on but now seeing you it's not working. I can't store things away and it's all coming to the surface and I can't handle it right now. I'm angry because my bottled up emotions have been tipped over and I feel like I'm in a damn tornado and you're not affected at all. You're perfectly fine."

"You think I'm fine? That I'm not affected by you showing up out of nowhere? That I'm perfectly fine after the last 5 years?" he asked incredulously.

"That's exactly what I think," I admitted.

"Trust me that's far from true. When I say I left for you, it's the truth. You may not understand it but it's the truth. Staying away was one of the hardest things I've ever done but I had to and now you show up out of the blue when you were the last person I expected to see. I promise I'm not unaffected I'm just trying to figure things out. You know me I internalize so of course I'm not going to show how I'm feeling right now. You know that." He said coming closer to me. We were about a foot apart. I could see the emotions swirling in his eyes as he actually let his mask down for a minute. I could see the pain and guilt and sadness he'd been hiding.

"If it was so hard why do it? Why put us both through it?" I asked softly tears prickling in the back of my eyes.

"Because you deserved better," he said coming closer and putting his hand on my cheek.

"But I wanted you," I said, my voice breaking as the tears started rolling down. He didn't say anything. He leaned down and rested his forehead against mine.

"I am sorry. I never meant to hurt you. If you don't believe anything else I've ever said or will say, believe that. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you," he whispered. I wanted to push and ask why but I knew he wouldn't tell me. Just like I wouldn't tell him why I thought it was probably best he left. I still didn't know if I believed that but I willed myself to try. After a few minutes he pulled away. "Come on, how about I take you home. It's been a long day. You need sleep."

"Yea that sounds good. Mia has to close and I don't feel like staying that long. Plus saves me money from getting a taxi," I admitted. He walked over to the door and opened it for me. I went to the back of the bar and grabbed my bag.

"Hey Mia, I'm going home. Dimitri is giving me a ride. Can I have a bottle of water for the ride?" I asked. That conversation had sobered me up just enough to where I could feel the headache starting and knew I needed water.

"Dimitri's driving you home?" she asked with a smirk.

"Nothing like that. I'm just ready to head home and I don't want to pay for a cab," she must have seen the look on my face and didn't prod.

"Call me tomorrow? Want me to take your morning shift at the diner? I'm off from here for the next couple of days."

"Sure. That sounds great. Thank you. I'll call you tomorrow. Maybe we can meet up for dinner," I told her.

"Sure," she smiled. "Get out of here and go get some rest. Water and Tylenol before bed."

"Yes mom," I laughed. I made my way back over to where Dimitri was waiting.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Yep, after you," I said.

The ride home was silent between us except me telling him directions. I turned the radio on and just listened to it. Honestly after everything tonight there was nothing to say. I was upset at my break down in the alley but still too drunk to really care. I knew tomorrow I'd be pissed. Tonight I was just drained.

"This is where you live?" Dimitri asked looking repulsed.

"I'm a waitress at a diner. I'm lucky I can afford this. What's you expect? Me to live in a condo?" I asked.

"I didn't expect this. Is it even safe?" he asked. I turned and looked at my apartment complex. It wasn't the best but it honestly wasn't the worst. This ones at least not a drug dealing complex. The first few I looked at when I got here were. It was brown and had paint peeling. A few windows were busted but I knew those apartments were vacant and they were working on getting those fixed. The people that lived here weren't that bad. Single mothers, elderly, and a few young couples my age.

"Yes it's safe. It's actually not a bad complex and the people are pretty cool. It looks worse than it is," I smiled. I got out of the car. And turned towards him. "Thanks for the ride. I'll see you at the studio."

"Your welcome. I'll see you tomorrow," he said. I turned and walked up the walk way. Dimitri didn't pull away until he saw my door open. Always the gentleman. I quickly went and took 4 Tylenol to be on the safe side and chugged the rest of my water. I stripped out of my jeans and took my bra off as I plopped on my bed and immediately passed out.

 **Songs used or mentioned:**

 **You & Me- Marc E. Bassy (ft, G-Eazy)**

 **Austin- Blake Shelton**

 **It Was Always You- Maroon 5**

 **What Hurts the Most- Rascal Flatts**

 **Ok so I do have a question/favor. You all have told me things you want to see in flashbacks but I need just a tiny bit more…I grew up in a small town with just a skating rink and a movie theatre and I also was a theatre geek. Most of my high school years were spent in a theatre or revolving around one. I need help on things normal teenagers would do, whether it's date type things, friends, whatever. TIA!**


	14. Chapter 13 Back Home

**Ok so I feel like I've lost quite a few readers due to the lack of reviewers BUT to the ones sticking around, THANK YOU SO MUCH! And as a huge thank you gift, I added a little bonus at the end of this chapter that will help answer a few questions for you all. As the next few chapters come you are going to get a lot of answers, maybe not all of them but more than you have now so please stick with me. I know this story seems like it's taking forever to some of you and I get it, I really do so I tried to help you all out a little bit in this chapter.**

 **Thank you so much to Claramijn for BETA'ing this chapter and last!**

 **Hope you enjoy this chapter and hopefully the next one will be up soon!**

 _Rose-7 Dimitri-8_

 _"Tag your it!" I shouted hitting Dimitri's arm and running away. He chased after me so I ran behind the big tree in his backyard. Only that's where Vika was hiding and I didn't know so I fell over._

 _"Tag you're it!" Dimitri said hitting my shoulder._

 _"Not fair!" I whined._

 _"Uh huh!" He argued._

 _"Vika was in my way! I fell!" I complained._

 _"Still fair," he said smugly before turning towards Vika. "Why are you hiding behind the tree?"_

 _"Watching light bugs!" she said happily, pointing through the chain link fence._

 _"Oh are they our now?" he asked looking where she was pointing._

 _"Looking at what?" I asked scrunching up my nose._

 _"Lightnin' bugs," Dimitri said like that explained it. At my confused look he explained further. "The bugs with the light in their butts that makes them glow?"_

 _"There's a bug with lights in its butt?!" I half-shouted._

 _"Have you never seen them before?" he asked. I shook my head._

 _"We catch them all the time. You should try. It's fun!" Vika said before running towards the house. "MAMA!"_

 _Dimitri and I followed behind her._

 _"Can we go catch light bugs?" Vika asked Olena in the kitchen._

 _"Rose has never seen one before!" Dimitri said shocked._

 _"Oh really?" she asked smiling at me. "Well I think every little girl needs to go catch a few lightning bugs every once in a while. Let me find you some jars."_

 _"Yay!" I cheered. She dug around in a pantry and quickly pulled out three small mason jars with lids._

 _"Have fun. Dinner's almost ready so hurry up," she said turning back to the stove. Dimitri, Vika and I went back out into the back yard._

 _"Ok, first I'll show you what to do then you can catch the second one we see," Dimitri said._

 _"So I'm last?" Vika complained._

 _"Yes. I'm the oldest and I have to show her how to do it. Then it's polite to let her go next since she's never caught one before," Dimitri said. He turned around and started looking for one. All of a sudden there was a small light, then it went away. Dimitri pointed then ran to the direction of the light. "There!"_

 _The light blinked again and he jumped up waving his jar towards it. He missed. He did this a few more times but the last time he quickly put the lid on it and ran over to me. Inside was a normal old bug, then out of nowhere his but flashed._

 _"Woah!" I shouted excited._

 _"There's one for you Roza!" Vika squealed. I looked over to where she was pointing to but didn't see anything._

 _"Wait for it. It'll flash again," Dimitri said seeing I was sad I missed it. A few seconds later I saw it flash again. I ran over towards it and started looking for it. A few seconds later it flashed again and I swiped my jar at it. It took me a few tries but before long I caught it! I quickly put my lid on it and ran to show Dimitri and Vika._

 _"Look! I got it!" I yelled. They both smiled and gave me a thumbs up. Then it was Vika's turn. We kept taking turns until Olena called us in for dinner._

 _"Ok time to let them go," Dimitri said opening his jar and throwing them out._

 _"What? Why can't I keep them?" I asked._

 _"Because if you keep them in a jar they can't breath and then they'll die," he explained as Vika opened her jar and let them out._

 _"But I wanted to show everybody," I complained._

 _"Well you can tell them all about it," he said._

 _"Fine," I muttered opening the jar I tossed them in the air and watched them fly away._

 _"It's ok, we can get more another time," Vika said before going into the house. I followed her and made my way to the table._

 _"Mrs. Belikov, guess how many lightnin' bugs I caught?" I asked._

 _"How many?" she asked turning towards me. I put up 4 fingers._

 _"This many!" I half-shouted. "It was 5 but then one flew out when I went to catch the last one."_

 _"Wow! That's a lot!" she smiled at me. "How about you go wash your hands so we can eat and you can tell me all about it!"_

 _"Ok!" I said happily as I made my way to the bathroom._

 **Present Day:**

The next day I woke up to a minor hangover, honestly a lot luckier than I deserved. I expected the tabloids or TMZ to have caught us all going out last night but there was nothing, again luckier than I deserved. I hadn't really thought about the repercussions of going out with Dimitri when I first invited him. I knew I needed to tell Vika and the rest of the Belikovs. Even though it doesn't look like I'll get any real answers from him I'm still holding out hope he'll tell me something or at least give me some clue that if I tell them, he'll actually stick around. That family has had a lot of hard times and they don't need me to give them hope only for him to take it away.

I took advantage of mia taking my shift this morning and stayed in bed until 1 or 2 before getting ready to go into the studio. I was dreading it but knew I had to face Dimitri sooner or later. Mia showed up right as I was about to head out.

"Want some company?"

"Sure. Some company would be great." I said smiling at her. "I would say it'd be nice to have someone else there when I face Dimitri today but I know you're going to ditch me as soon as we get there," I teased as we headed out. "Do you have your car or are we taking the bus?"

"Bus. I'm not working the bar tonight," she said as we headed towards the bus stop. She only likes to really drive when she closes the bar so she's not riding the bus at 3 am by herself. I've never actually met someone who hates driving as much as her. "If you don't want me to hang out with Eddie I won't."

"No it's fine. I can't avoid it forever."

"So what happened between you two last night?" she asked as we got to the bus stop.

"Ugh! I got too drunk is what happened!" I groaned.

"You were pretty wasted," she laughed.

"Well I started asking him some questions and he actually answered which of course led to him asking me questions and it quickly got too emotional, for me anyways. Then of course a song that he wrote for me plays and it just kind of went downhill from there. Another song came on that always makes me cry so I went to the alley to calm down and I kind of had a breakdown. Dimitri had followed me outside to make sure I wasn't puking and I went off on him. Like out of nowhere," I told her honestly. About then the bus showed up I waited to finish until we sat down. "It was bad. That's when he decided I should probably go home and offered me a ride."

"He wrote that song for you? I heard it come on and I looked over there but you seemed ok so I didn't come over. That's one of my favorites," she exclaimed. "No offense cause I know this is all dramatic and stuff for you, working with your ex but, it's kind of cool that I can now be like 'oh yea that song Dimitri sang in his band, I'm friends with the girl it's about!'"

"No it's all good. I get it. If we wouldn't have ended so badly it would be awesome to get to say 'oh that was written for me!'" I laughed understanding her excitement.

"I did good when I chose to be your friend. Now we're partying with THE Adrian Ivashkov and fighting with Dimitri Belikov! I might just keep you around," she teased. I laughed at her.

"Oh so you just like me for my famous friends?" I joked back glad we were joking about this instead of talking about my breakdown.

"Damn right, I knew I had to get some use out of you eventually!" She laughed.

"Oh you mean you weren't drawn in by my amazing wit and fabulous personality?" I asked pretending to be hurt.

"You mean your sarcastic comments and bitchy demeanor?"

"Exactly. That wasn't what pulled you in?" I laughed.

"Nope. I heard you sing and thought, 'Now there's my ticket to Joe'" she smirked referencing her love for Joe Manganiello.

"Oh so you just wanted me for my voice. Thought that would be your ticket in to home wreck Joe's happy life?" I teased.

"Yep. That's exactly it. I mean come on have you seen Magic Mike XXL? Can you really blame me?"

"You realize he's probably old enough to be your father?" I joked.

"Who cares if he looks like that!" she said pretending to fan herself. I rolled my eyes as our stop came up.

"You're pathetic!" I smiled as we got up and off. "Have you told Eddie about your Joe obsession?"

"We haven't gotten that deep yet," she joked.

"So how did it go last night? We couldn't seem to pry him away from the bar," I winked.

"Good, we made plans to go out tonight. I'm excited," she gushed.

"You really like him don't you?" I asked. She's normally more of a hot one night stand type, not a dating type.

"I really do. It's weird because I could totally see us actually dating and as much as that makes me cringe, it's also something I'm willing to try with him," she admitted.

"Oh wow. Have you finally met someone that can tame your wild ways?" I teased as we got closer to the building.

"I wouldn't go that far. Maybe we can be wild together," she winked as she opened the door.

"Ew! Too much. Bye. Go find your boyfriend," I laughed pretending to cover my ears and running inside. I left her there laughing at me as I made my way to Alberta's office. I signed all the contracts and then made my way to security to get a key card for the building. When all of that was done I made my way to the studio where I knew Dimitri was. I opened the door and stepped inside.

"Hey," I said slightly hesitantly.

"Hey, have a seat. I need to finish this real quick then we'll go over the schedule for the next few weeks," he said not even looking up. I made a face before going over to the couch and sitting down. I pulled my legs up and got comfy while I waited for him to finish whatever he was doing. Finally he turned around and looked at me. His face was blank of emotion and pure business.

"Ok so Alberta and I have talked and we've decided it would be best to focus mainly on the duet album first. That's not saying we won't also work on your solo album. We just believe it would be best to release the duet album and get your name out there before releasing your solo album. That way you will already have a following when you do release the solo album. Plus doing it that way, we can see what people respond to best with you so we can make sure to make the most successful album for you. That being said, when Adrian can't be here like the first hour today, we can continue working on your solo album. Today we'll go over some of what you've already sang and decide what you want to record yourself and what you want to sell as demos. Then when Adrian comes in we'll go over some duets and try to find one for you two to record and release as a single to get people interested," he said all business like. "Sound alright with you?"

"Sure," I said hesitantly. I'm not sure what I expected from him today but this wasn't it so it threw me off. "Sounds good."

"Ok well pull up that chair over there and we'll get started. You've already told me one or two that you want to sell instead of record yourself but we need to go through the others and we'll talk about whether or not you should sell them or not."

"Ok?" I said pulling up the chair as he slipped a pair of headphones on and handed me a second pair. Then he started the recordings from the beginning.

That's how the rest of the afternoon went. We didn't talk about anything besides the songs. We didn't even talk about the content of the songs. It was all pure business. When it was a song I wanted to sell he'd ask if I was the only writer then we'd talk about if I had any ideas of who I might want to sing it (not that there was any guarantees obviously just ideas). When we got to a song I wanted to record we'd talk about what we saw musically for the song and how we wanted it to sound when we were done then move on. Even when Adrian got there we talked about music only. Adrian shot me a confused look and I just shrugged not knowing what to say.

That's how the next two weeks continued. When Adrian wasn't there, which thankfully wasn't often, we would discuss my solo album. When he was there we either wrote or recorded for the duet album. No matter how hard any of us tried we couldn't get Dimitri to get out of this producer business mode. Adrian purposely tried to do stuff that he knew would piss Dimitri off, show up late, bail out early, flirt extra with me, nothing. He even quit asking me questions about what my songs mean or things about the past. As weird as it was, it did make things easier for me which I was grateful for but at the same time I just wanted the fighting back. Seeing this all business side of Dimitri was weird and I didn't like it.

Today the three of us were in the studio working on the song Adrian and I had written that first night. We were planning to release that as the first single to get people interested. I didn't realize just how long it took to produce and release one song. Dimitri and Adrian informed me this was actually very rushed and now I understand why it takes so long to release an album. Right now we had Adrian's band in there playing and we were going to record the vocals after. Dimitri, Adrian and, I were sitting in the booth listening as they played. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and looked down to see Viktoria calling me. She was supposed to be in class so I knew something was up. I answered it and moved to the corner where I wouldn't be heard as easily.

"Hey whats up?" I half-whispered.

"She's coming!" she squealed into the phone. "Why are you whispering?"

"I'm at the studio and the bands recording. Who's coming?" I asked confused.

"The baby! Sonya's headed to the hospital now!"

"What?!" I half-yelled. "But she's early!"

"I know but she's on her way!" Viktoria said excitedly.

"Ok. I'll be there as soon as I can! Tell her congratulations and I hope it all goes smoothly. I have to talk to Alberta and then I'll be on the first flight out," I said immediately grabbing my bag.

"Ok text me details and I'll keep you updated. Be safe!" she said before hanging up.

"Everything ok?" Adrian asked. I looked over to find everyone staring at me.

"Um Sonya, Dimitri's sister, is in labor. I have to go home. She's early," I said as I grabbed my bag and then walked out. I headed towards Alberta's office as the Dimitri and Adrian followed me.

"Hey Alberta, can I talk to you?" I asked peeking my head in. She gestured for me to sit down. Dimitri and Adrian followed suit and sat beside me.

"What's going on?" she asked eyeing us all.

"Um I have to go home. Back to Georgia. See Dimitri's sister is pregnant and she's giving birth like now and I promised I'd be there when she did only she's early so I didn't have time to make plans."

"I feel for you, I really do but, Rose we're on a deadline. That single has to come out by the end of the week or else it delays the whole album," she said sadly.

"Well actually we have instrumentals done, we just need to finish up on the vocals which we can do on the laptop, and we'd just have to find a place to record. I mean I'm sure since it's Dimitri's sister he's going to want to go home too, I don't mind tagging along so we can finish the song. I'm sure it wouldn't be too hard to find a studio down there," Adrian told her.

"No, there's one in the next town over but, I'm not sure Dimitri is going to want to go back home…" I trailed off looking at him. He shrugged.

"Guess I had to go back someday. I'd like to meet my niece," he said. I turned back towards Alberta.

"So could we do that? Finish it there?" I asked hopefully.

"As long as it gets to me by the end of the week I don't care where you finish it," she smiled. I jumped up and ran over to her as she stood then I hugged her.

"Thank you! I get to go meet my god daughter now!" I said cheerfully before I headed out of her office.

"Do you need a ride home to pack a bag?" Adrian asked.

"Yea I guess I should do that."

"Ok well Dimitri can finish recording the last of the instrumentals cause that'll take like 10 minutes and I'll take you to your house so you can pack a bag then we'll stop by mine so I can get some clothes. Then we can all meet up at the airport. That should give you enough time to pack right?" Adrian asked Dimitri.

"Yea sounds good. I'll meet you there."

"Ok. I'll call my pilot on the way," he said then turned and started walking towards the front.

"Wait what? Your pilot?" I asked following him.

"Yea. I figured it'd be easier to just take my jet."

"You have a jet?" I asked shocked.

"Don't all pop stars?" he joked opening the front doors. I just shook my head as we made our way to his car. There was some paparazzi out front waiting for us as there had been for the last week. They finally figured out who I was and had been stalking the building to try and get pictures of Adrian and I together. I did end up quitting my job at the diner once I got my signing bonus. It wasn't much but enough to where I could afford to quit and still pay the bills and food. I didn't want to quit but once they figured out who I was, they figured out where I worked and started mobbing the place to get inside info on Adrian's 'new girlfriend'. I guess I was lucky right now that I had quit or else I'd be in trouble now.

When we got to my apartment I quickly ran in and packed a bag throwing in clothes for this time of year in Georgia. I wasn't sure how long they'd let me stay in Georgia so I packed as much as I could fit in my bag. I was in and out within 10 minutes.

"Dang, I've never seen a girl pack that fast," Adrian said as I made it to the car.

"Well I'm in a hurry," I stated as he drove off.

"I can tell," he laughed. When we got to his house I stayed in the car and called Vika back.

"Hey, are you on your way?" she asked as she answered.

"Um yea. Adrians coming with me. He's flying us out on his jet. We have to finish this song so the only way they'd let me leave is if he came with me," I rambled.

"Wow! Adrian is coming to Baia?" she asked shocked.

"Yea, he's inside packing now. I also have a surprise for you. Don't be mad at me but I think you'll like it…eventually," I laughed.

"Cause that doesn't sound weird at all," she laughed.

"You'll see what I mean. How's Sonya?" I diverted.

"She's at a 5. Since this is her first baby they said it could be a really long labor or it could go quick. I mean she's already at a 5 so I'm thinking it will be closer to the quick side but they said sometimes you jump all the way to an 8 and still take hours. You might be able to make it in time for the birth."

"I doubt it because once we get to the airport there's still another hour drive to Baia. I'll be there as soon as I can though. Can I talk to Olena?"

"Sure, let me get her."

"Hey sweetheart. You heading this way?" she asked cheerfully.

"Yea Adrian's packing a bag and then we're going to the airport. He has to come with me because we have to work while I'm there. Is everything ok? She's early," I asked finally somewhat voicing my fears. I heard some shuffling and knew she was probably stepping outside.

"Everything is fine. The baby is just ready now. They're both fine. Completely healthy. Are you sure you need to come so soon? I'm sure Sonya wouldn't mind if you waited a few days until she got out of the hospital and everything."

"I'm fine, I was just worried when Vika told me she was coming now. If everything's fine I'll be good. I just wanted to check. Umm I do have something to tell you though. You're probably going to be mad at me though."

"I'm sure I won't," she said softly.

"Well remember the jerk producer?" I asked but didn't let her answer. "It was Dimitri. I didn't want to tell you until I either got some answers from him or I knew he'd stick around. I didn't want to give y'all hope and then him bolt again. He's coming back with me though."

"Dimka's coming home?" she asked stunned.

"Yea mama Belikova, he is."

"Oh that's the second best news I've heard all day," she said excited.

"I didn't tell Vika but I told her I had a surprise for her," I admitted.

"Well I'm sure she's going to be plenty upset with you when you get here."

"You're not mad?" I asked.

"I'm a upset that you didn't tell me but I can see why you didn't. I'm sure it hasn't been easy on you. We'll talk about that when you get here though. I won't tell the others. It'll be a nice surprise for them."

"Thank you. I know I'll get an earful later but I look forward to it," I smiled. About then Adrian emerged from the house. "Oh hey Mama Belikova, Adrian's back so we're going to head to the airport. I'll let you know when we land. Vika said she'll update me on Sonya."

"Ok be safe. Love you."

"Love you too," I smiled as I hung up the phone.

"Ready?" Adrian asked sliding in.

"Let's go!" I said excited.

When we got to the airport Dimitri was already there. Dang he packed quickly. The plane was already there and ready. We all boarded. The inside of the plane was pretty big. There was a couple of rows of seats up front, behind them was a couch on one side and a table with two chairs on either side of it. Then in the back there was a bathroom and what looked like a tiny room with a bed in it. Dimitri and I ended up at the two chairs by the table as Adrian laid out on the couch. I opened the window by my chair so I could see out.

"You look excited. Have you flown before?" Adrian asked. I shook my head.

"How'd you get to LA then?" Dimitri asked.

"Greyhound. I wanted to keep as much money as I could to get a place to stay."

"You came out here on a bus without a guaranteed place to stay?" he asked.

"Yep. I knew I could find a job quickly and I had enough to put deposits down. I wasn't too worried about it," I said looking out the window as the plane started moving. I pulled my phone out and as we started to take off I took some pictures. Once we leveled out Adrian stood up.

"Well I'm going to go take a nap. Wake me up when we're close. Oh I also told the flight attendant we wouldn't need her so drinks are in the fridge," he said pointing to the fridge behind Dimitri's chair. Then it was just Dimitri and I.

"Ready to see your family again?

"I haven't decided," he admitted. "Yes and no."

"I already told Olena you were coming. She's excited. She said she's not telling the others so you can surprise them when you get there."

"It'll be good to see them again. It's been too long. They're going to be pretty upset at me though," he said softly.

"I'm not going to lie and say they're not but at the same time I think their happiness will offset the anger. They won't be mad for long. Me on the other hand, they're going to be pissed for a while," I laughed trying to make him feel a little better.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I've known where you were for what 4 weeks now? And been working with you and didn't tell them. You'll get away with it because they miss you so much they won't stay mad for long. Me they just saw a couple of months ago so they can stay mad at me," I joked.

"Eh I'm sure it won't be that bad. They like you," he smiled but it didn't reach his eyes.

"They like you too," I assured him. "They're going to be super excited to see you again. I promise. That doesn't mean you might not get some negative reactions also. Cause, well let's be honest, y'all Belikovs are an emotional bunch."

"We're an emotional bunch?" he laughed. "Ok Austin."

"Shut up! It's a good song!" I laughed. We paused then and sat in silence for a few minutes. "So you going to tell me what your deals been the last two weeks?"

"What do you mean?" he asked pretending not to know.

"You have been weird," I stated.

"I've just been working. That's what producers do."

"Yea but you haven't gotten mad at Adrian even though he's tried his hardest to piss you off, you stopped asking me questions. If it's not about the album you don't care or won't acknowledge. It's weird."

"I figured it would make things easier if we just stuck to the music. For both of us," that's when I realized. My meltdown. He heard me complaining about how I couldn't handle telling him everything and felt like I was in a tornado so he decided this was easier.

"Thank you," I said softly. "Future reference you don't have to take it to such extremes. We can be somewhat friends. It doesn't all have to be 100% professional."

"Duly noted," he said.

"We'll figure it out one day," I joked half-heartedly. About then I yawned.

"Why don't you lay down on the couch and take a nap," he said.

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

"I brought a book," he smirked as he pulled out an old western.

"Oh geez!" I laughed rolling my eyes. "Those things are so corny!"

"They're good books ok," he defended.

"No you just have some sort of cowboy complex!" I laughed getting up and moving over to the couch.

"I do not!"

"Oh whatever!" I laughed curling up on the couch.

"Want my duster?" Dimitri asked.

"I'm good."

"No you're not. You can't sleep without some sort of covers," he smirked.

"Fine, yes I'll take it," I muttered knowing he was right. For some reason I've never been able to sleep unless I had something covering me. He shrugged it off and draped it over me. I curled under it so it was covering everything but my head. Advantages of being tiny and him being a giant. I watched him as he read for a few minutes before closing my eyes and slowly drifting off to sleep.

 **DPOV:**

As hard as I tried I couldn't concentrate on the book I was attempting to read. The thought of returning home was torturing me. It's not that I didn't want to see my family, I've been wanting to see them for years I just couldn't. I looked over at Roza, and watched her sleep. I knew the moment she agreed to the two week trial this moment was coming sooner or later. There was no doubt in my mind that Roza would make it happen. Honestly, I've almost been waiting for an ambush ever since she got her signing bonus. Then again she knows me well enough to know that I have to do this on my terms.

I know she's probably confused about the way I've been acting the last few weeks but, seeing her breakdown in the alleyway killed me. To know, and hear her say, it was because of me was a shot straight through the chest. As much as I want to know about the last five years and try to figure out this enigma that is the new Rose, it's not worth the pain it was causing her. So I decided that night I had to pull back. Stop asking questions, stop prying, no reactions. I knew I hurt her bad when I left and I knew it would hurt her worse when I dropped contact but to think of me causing her more pain, even now, I can't do it. I'd hoped when I dropped contact she'd move on and find someone or something else that would make her happier than I ever could. Once I got here, I quickly got pulled into the rock star lifestyle, even before we made it big and I knew then that I was no good for her. I quit responding, quit answering and hoped she'd get the hint. Then I quit answering for anybody from Georgia because the guilt ate at me too much. Then that night happened and I knew there was no turning back. I couldn't go back home and I definitely couldn't face her. Not after that.

As I was pondering my own personal demons I saw her face tighten in pain as she started to shake.

"No! No!" she cried softly, pleading. I got up and sat on the floor in front of her. I gently started stroking her hair knowing that was one of her favorite things hoping it would calm her down. It worked a little but I could still see her face contorted with pain. I softly started singing a song I'd written for her a long time ago that I'd never shared before and didn't plan on ever sharing it with anybody.

 _Sometimes it feels like I'm so far away,  
Like everything I love has lost its place.  
When life gets the best of me,  
I just close my eyes and see,_

 _Fireflies dancing in the yard,  
Under a blanket of stars,  
The sound of that rusty string guitar,  
Playin' songs we know.  
And all that I have to do,  
Is think one little thought of you,  
And I'm back home  
I'm right back home._

 _Work so long and hard to chase a dream,  
And wind up some place you don't wanna be,  
It's such a lonely road,  
Especially when you know,_

 _There's fireflies dancing in the yard,  
Under a blanket of stars,  
The sound of that rusty string guitar,  
Playin' songs we know.  
And all that I have to do,  
Is think one little thought of you,  
And I'm back home  
I'm right back home._

 _I'm back home,  
I'm right back home_

As I sang she visibly relaxed and I watched her breathing even out. It kills me to see this beautiful girl who used to be so full of life and love so damaged. I want to track down every person that's ever hurt her and make them pay. Then again, I'd be at the top of that list. It's hard to see her so broken and full of anger, especially knowing even if it doesn't all stem from me, I'm a large part of it. I can see it in her eyes that she's tired, these nightmares must be a constant battle for her. Still, even with her saying she's barely hanging on and so torn apart, I can still see that strength in her eyes. There's still fight in her.

It does make me wonder though, what got her to this point. I'm not conceited enough to think it was all because of me. I know better, she's stronger than that. She even said it herself. She was moving on when something else happened. Somebody else hurt her. Was it the asshole who decided to use her as a punching bag? I immediately knew, no it wasn't him. Even though I'm sure he didn't help. She never would have let him hit her if she wasn't already broken. It had to have happened before then. But that leaves the question hanging. I left when she was 17, her parents kicked her out on her 18th birthday…what happened in that year?

Hopefully, if they'll even talk to me, I can try to drag out some answers from my family. Vika's a gossip, maybe I can pull it out of her…

 **Song used: 'Back Home' by Charles Esten**


	15. Chapter 14 Reunions

**Merry Christmas! As a Christmas present to all of you beautiful, wonderful readers, Me and my Beta, Claramijn worked really hard to give you this chapter so I hope you all enjoy and love it! As always please leave a review, comment, or even an emoji (please not really an emoji by itself) to let me know how you liked it.**

 **Sinceriously,**

 **Cassandra**

 **Ps. I'm so sorry about the super short flashback, I'll try to make it up later!**

 **Rose-7**

" _Mommy I made a new friend today!" I said excitedly running into the house. I ran into a suitcase and was immediately sad. I walked slowly to the kitchen. "Mommy?"_

 _"Oh Rose, the nanny's almost here. I was just about to leave," she said going through her paperwork._

 _"Do you have to leave again? You just got home," I said sadly._

 _"You know I have to work Rosemarie," she said sternly. "Someone has to pay for your toys."_

 _"I don't even play with them. Don't buy more toys and stay here," I suggested._

 _"I still have to pay for the house and bills. Besides I like work," she said still not looking up from her phone._

 _"But daddy works too. Can't he just work all the time and you can just work like some of the time?" I asked already knowing it was hopeless._

 _"Rosemarie stop this now. You know that's not how it works," she said looking up at me over her phone before quickly looking back._

 _"I know," I sighed before coming and sitting beside her at the table. "I made a new friend today his-"_

 _"Oh the nanny's in the driveway so I'm going to go ahead and leave. Be good for her this time. No pranks or tantrums,' she said abruptly standing up and grabbing her jacket. She patted me on the head then she was gone. I heard the door slam shut._

 _"His name is Dimitri," I said softly as a tear rolled down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away and headed upstairs to my room before the new nanny came in._

 **PRESENT DAY**

 _Pain…blood…somewhere glass is shatters.. I look up and Dimitri's standing over me._

" _You did this. You're the only one to blame. I can't even look at you." He spits in disgust before turning and walking away._

" _No. Please no. I'm sorry!" I plead. I try to scream to get him to turn around but no sound comes out. The pain is unbearable. He doesn't turn around as my vision goes black. Next thing I know the pain is gone. I feel someone running fingers through my hair. Then there's singing I think but I can't make it out. It almost sounds like Dimitri. I must still be dreaming. All of a sudden I feel warm and comfortable as I drift back into blackness._

"Roza, we're almost there. Wake up," I hear as I feel someone grabbing my shoulder.

"I don't want to. Need sleep." I grumbled burrowing more into the covers. That's when I realize the 'covers' are leather and smell like Dimitri.

"We have to go see your god daughter." Came the voice again. That's when I realized it was Dimitri. I jumped up remembering where I was.

"Are we there?" I asked.

"Almost," he chuckled. "I'm going to go wake Adrian up."

"No need. I'm here," came Adrian from the doorway of the bedroom. Dimitri went and sat back down in the chair he'd been sitting on. Adrian came over and sat by me on the couch. "Sleep well?"

"Well honestly it was some of the best sleep I've had in a while," I admitted. "What about you?"

"Pretty good. I've got a comfortable bed back there if you ever want to test it out," he winked.

"Pig," I laughed. "Do you ever stop?"

"Hey I just meant that if you're ever tired there's a really comfortable bed on here," he smirked.

"Mhmmm sure," I smiled back. There was ding and a light by the pilot's door came on telling us to put our seatbelts on.

"Guess we're here. We're going to have to rent a car when we land cause it's an hour from here to Baia…well actually the hospitals in the town next to Baia but they're side by side," I explained to Adrian.

"I already took care of it," Dimitri said across from us. "Got it before we took off."

"Awesome," I said glad he had thought of that. Right then the plane really started to descend. I turned and looked out of the window behind me. "It's so pretty!"

"That's a lot of green," Adrian laughed.

"Lot different than the skylines you're used to," I joked. We hit the ground and I jumped. "Woah!"

Adrian laughed and Dimitri just smiled. Soon enough we had slowed down and were just slowly going along. We pulled in front of a hangar and it came to a stop. After a few seconds the seatbelt light turned off as we all unbuckled and stood up. Adrian went over to the door and pushed the button to open it. The door swung open as a set of stairs came forward. He gestured to me to go first. When I got to the bottom somebody was pulling our bags out of a little compartment on the outside of the plane. When he was done Dimitri went over and grabbed his and mine before walking over to a black car. The trunk popped and he put our bags in there as Adrian followed with his.

"It's cool, I got mine," Adrian joked. Dimitri just rolled his eyes.

"Thank you for bringing the car to us. We're in a hurry so it was a big help," he said to the guy holding the keys by the driver's door.

"Anytime!" the guy smiled. "I hope you enjoy your trip."

"Thank you," Dimitri nodded before coming over to the passenger side and opening the door for me.

"Wait, how are you getting to wherever you're going?" I asked the guy. He pointed to his left where there was another car.

"A friend. Thank you for checking," he said politely before walking away. I turned towards Dimitri.

"Shouldn't I drive since I know where we're going?" I asked.

"I know where we're going. And no you're not driving. I want to get there in one piece," he smirked. The comment stung a lot more than he expected but I shrugged it off and pretended like it didn't. He had always teased me about driving. How was he supposed to know it bothered me now?

"I'm actually a really good driver. Almost perfect, thank you," I said getting in the car. Dimitri shut the door as Adrian climbed in the back.

"Sure I'll take the back seat," he muttered. I turned to see him smiling. "Good talk on the plane?"

I shrugged and slightly nodded as Dimitri opened his door and climbed in. Dimitri started the car and pulled out of the airport. I turned my phone off of airplane mode and waited for messages to arrive. I texted Viktoria that we landed and were on our that way. She said Sonya was at 8 centimeters and they were thinking it might not be too long.

"So boys, what do you feel like listening to?" I asked turning the radio on. I turned it on a popular pop station but didn't like that song so I switched it over to a country station. Carrie Underwood was on it with her latest single about a man's dirty laundry so I turned it up.

Thirty minutes later I got a text from Vika that the baby had arrived.

"Well guys, it looks like we have baby!" I said excited. "Baby Katya Belikova was born 10 minutes ago at 6 pounds 8 ounces and 20 inches long."

"Awesome. Sounds like a perfect baby," Adrian smiled from the back. Dimitri smiled but didn't say anything. Vika sent me a picture and I showed Adrian. I showed Dimitri for about 2 seconds but he was driving so I didn't want him distracted. I texted her back to tell Sonya congratulations and that I'd see her in 20 minutes or so. About then I started getting super anxious and excited so I tried to flip it to a pop or rock station to try to ease my nerves.

"You ok?" Dimitri asked looking over at me.

"I'm good. Excited," I lied. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"That it?" he asked.

"I'm a little nervous too," I admitted. "But I'm more excited."

"So if you don't mind me asking, how did you get to be her godmother?" he asked and I knew what he meant. Last he saw, Sonya and I hated each other. If I was him I'd be wondering the same thing.

"I told you man, we've changed," I said as nonchalant as I could. "We're friends now."

"That's quite the turn around," he remarked.

"Well we had quite a time. She was a really huge help to me when I needed it and I've tried to be there for her in return. Maybe it was just you all along," I half-joked.

"Maybe," he mumbled. I turned to Adrian and filled him in on who he was meeting and who would be there. I texted Lissa to let her know I was in town and why, then I copied the message and sent it to Mason. I told both of them I'd come see them sometime tomorrow.

When we got close to the hospital I started getting antsy. Dimitri brought his hand over and put it on my knee to keep me from bouncing it more.

"Keep that up and you'll break the floorboard," he smirked. I rolled my eyes and pushed his hand off. Soon enough we parked and started our way inside. Dimitri was ahead as Adrian and I trailed along. As we got to the entrance I paused to brace myself.

"You ok?" Adrian asked quietly. I shook my head.

"Bad memories here," I admitted. He offered me his arm and I reached over and clung to his elbow. I probably was holding on way too tight as we walked in the doors but he didn't say anything. He put his hand over mine and patted it encouragingly.

"You guys coming?" Dimitri barked from ahead of us.

"Yea sorry. Thought I saw someone I knew outside but I didn't," I lied as I smiled up at him. He raised an eyebrow questioningly but didn't say anything. I knew he was just as nervous as I was.

"Want to grab something from the gift shop?" I asked. He nodded so we made our way over there. I got a brown and pink monkey that hollered when you pressed its stomach, Adrian got her a vase of flowers and Dimitri got her some balloons with candy tied to the bottom. We made our way to the elevators.

"So how about Adrian and I go in first and kind of prepare them and then you can follow," I said to Dimitri. "They already know Adrian's coming so it'd be suspicious if I came in without him but they don't even know I found you."

"Sounds good. Maybe it'll be best to ease them into it," he shrugged. I could tell he was nervous. Luckily right now my nerves about them seeing Dimitri was overshadowing my anxiety about being here, at least for the moment. I reached over and squeezed his hand reassuringly and nodded to him before pulling away. The elevator brought us to the third floor and I got out and headed left.

"Maternity wards this way," I muttered as they followed.

"How'd you know that without looking?" Dimitri asked.

"I spent a lot of time in this hospital after the car crash," I half-admitted. Technically that wasn't a lie. "I liked to explore."

When we got to the nurses station I had Dimitri wait there. I knocked on the door and opened it softly. Vika was the first person I saw. She turned and saw me as I passed the small bathroom going into the room she came over and gave me a hug.

"You're finally here!" She squealed.

"Can't breath!" I half-joked. She pulled back.

"I missed you!"

"We talk almost everyday," I teased. "I missed you too."

"Excuse me, where's my hug?" Karolina joked from across the room.

"Right here," I laughed at the same time Vika noticed Adrian. She squealed but didn't say anything. "Oh yea, guys this is Adrian. He volunteered to come with me so we could keep working and I wouldn't get fired."

Everyone said hello or some form as I made my way to Karolina.

"He's hot," she mumbled as she gave me a hug. I laughed and pulled away. Olena was standing next to her holding the baby so I gave her a half hug as I looked at the baby.

"She's beautiful," I told Sonya as I went over and hugged her.

"She is isn't she?" Sonya said proudly. I just laughed. Olena gave me a questioning look and I just nodded.

"Want to hold her?" Sonya asked.

"Not just yet. First I have a surprise for you," I said putting the monkey over by the window. Then I remembered Adrian's flowers. "Well first Adrian brought you a gift."

"Thank you Adrian," Sonya said looking at the flowers. "You can sit them on the ledge over there. Gee I never thought I'd meet a superstar in a hospital gown after having a baby."

"Don't worry, you're still gorgeous," he said smiling his most charming smile and I swear all the girls in the room melted. I rolled my eyes.

"Anyway. So I have a surprise that I really think you'll like but you might be a little upset at first. Just remember I love you all a lot," I said shifting towards the door as I spoke. I continued before making my way to the door. "Remember how I had that asshole producer?"

"Language!" Olena said sternly.

"Sorry mama Belikova," I smiled. "Well he's here and I think you just might know him."

At that I saw comprehension on Karolina's face as she realized who it was. Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped softly in shock. The other two still looked a little confused. I made my way to the door and stuck my head out telling him it was ok to come in. I heard a gasp or two as he entered the room.

"Hey," he said softly.

"HEY? HEY? After 5 years all you say is hey?" Sonya yelled.

"Sonya we're in a hospital," Karo chastised as Vika and Olena ran over to hug him. Olena had tears of joy running down her face, luckily I'd warned her earlier so she had put the baby down or else it would be crushed by now. I saw tears starting to form in Dimitri's eyes and my own started to water for them. I saw Adrian slip outside to give them time alone. I would have too if they weren't blocking the exit. I quietly made my way to the back corner and sat by on the windows ledge taking it all in. When they pulled away, Dimitri made his way over to Karolina and gave her a hug before moving over to Sonya in the bed.

"I know you're mad at me but can a guy at least get a hug?" He smiled down at her.

"I should slap you, you know."

"You can if you want," he said softly. Instead she opened her arms to hug him. He leaned down and wrapped her in a strong embrace as her body started to softly shake with small sobs.

"Sorry, I just had a baby. I'm a little emotional," she laughed pulling away.

"You're perfect," he smiled down at her.

"Sweet talk won't get you anywhere," she half-joked. He made his way over to the baby.

"She's beautiful Sonya," he said softly. Then he gestured down to her. "Can I?"

"Of course," she smiled proud of her little bundle. At the sight of Dimitri holding Katya I wanted to cry. A chunk of my heart fractured as I turned and looked out the window. I felt a hand grab mine and I turned to see Olena standing there with sorrow in her eyes. I smiled softly to let her know I was ok.

"So like my surprise?" I joked. All eyes turned to me as if they'd forgotten I was there.

"Wait, if he's your producer…you've been in contact for a month. Why didn't you say anything?" Viktoria asked.

"I wanted to surprise y'all," I lied. Not wanting to tell them the truth in front of him.

"Liar," Vika spat.

"She wanted to make sure I was going to stick around and not bolt," Dimitri defended.

"Why'd you bolt the first time?" She questioned.

"It's a long story for another day but I'm back now," he said avoiding her question. At that Olena and Karolina smiled happy to have him back. Vika glared at Dimitri and me but didn't say anything.

"Want to hold her?" Dimitri asked turning to me. I smiled as Olena squeezed my hand.

"Yea Roza, go hold the baby," Vika said pretending to be excited but I knew what she was doing. I fought so hard not to react to her words, stunned she was so mad she would actually taunt me like that. I held it in and tried to not let it show though as I responded.

"I'd love to," I smiled walking over to Dimitri and grabbing her from him. I looked down at her. Tears pricked the back of my eyes but I quickly blinked them away and pushed them down.

"Hey sweet girl. You look just like your cousins did when they were babies. That Belikov look sure is strong." I said softly. I felt all the eyes in the room on me and was uncomfortable.

"Y'all don't have to stare me down you know," I tried to tease. "I'm not going to break the baby."

"Of course you're not," Karolina chuckled from across Sonya's bed. I looked up and saw that she had tears in her eyes. It all became too much. I felt like everyone was waiting for a breakdown. I handed her over to Sonya.

"Well I think I'm going to go take Adrian to a hotel so he doesn't have to sit around a hospital and let you guys catch up with Dimitri," I said.

"Nonsense, he doesn't need to go to a hotel. There's plenty of room at the house. Karolina's moved out so he and Dimka can have her room," Olena said.

"What about mine?" Dimitri asked confused. Olena paused unsure of what to say.

"She meant you can have your room, Adrian can have Karo's and I'll bunk with Vika," I fake smiled not wanting to admit, I had been in his room. It was the only one open when I moved in so I kind of took over it. I turned to Sonya. "By the time I come back it will probably be after visiting hours. Is it ok if I just come back tomorrow?"

"Of course," she said understandingly. "Karo's staying with me tonight and the kids are staying with mama. We'll be fine till tomorrow."

"Ok, want me to bring anything?" I asked.

"Call before you come and I'll let you know," she smiled softly.

"Sure thing," I said before turning towards Dimitri. "Can I have the keys please? You can ride back with Olena and Vika. Give you some quality time together."

"Fine," he relented not wanting me to drive the car but not wanting to leave. I quickly gave everyone a hug before heading out the door.

"You and me are leaving, if you want to say goodbye hurry up," I told Adrian, my voice wavering. I felt the panic attack coming so I wanted out of there as quickly as possible. He went in as I looked down the hallway and unwanted memories came rushing in. My breathing stopped as I tried to stop the onslaught of emotion hitting me. I was considering leaving Adrian and waiting for him outside but, as soon as I decided to he came out. He immediately put his arm around my shoulders and I leaned into him for comfort.

"You ok?" He asked rubbing my shoulder as we waited for the elevator. I shook my head. I couldn't respond if I wanted to because I couldn't catch my breath. When the elevator came I practically jumped in it and hurriedly pressed the button twenty times. When we arrived at the ground floor I half walked, half ran outside. When I got outside I moved over against the wall where smokers go and bent over gasping for air hands on my knees. Adrian rubbed my back but didn't say anything. When my breathing finally calmed down I stood up and looked at Adrian.

"Better?" He asked.

"Yea. You ready? Olena insists you're staying at her house, if that's ok with you. She probably is the best cook in Georgia so you'll be really well fed," I smiled.

"How can I pass that up?" He smiled. Then he stood and gestured to the car. I made my way over to the car and headed towards the drivers side.

"Sure you want to drive Little Red?"

"Positive. I need this right now." I said climbing in. Luckily he didn't argue and climbed in the passenger seat. Without a word he hooked his phone up to the radio and turned on some chick rock. The current song was by Pink. I looked over at him and smiled at his choice.

"Seemed appropriate," he laughed. I half-smiled at him and started singing along. He joined in. We continued singing to girl rock anthems about crappy ex boyfriends and sticking it to the man until we got to Baia. I turned the music down as I started telling him about all the parts of the town. The high school, the best restaurant in town, Lissa and Masons' houses, etc.. Before you knew it we were pulling into the Belikovs driveway.

"Small town," Adrian remarked as we got out.

"Yea it is," I smiled. I might hate how small it is some days but it's nice at the same time. Before I made it to the porch Paul came barreling out of the house and jumped off the porch into my arms. Unfortunately I was small enough to get knocked over, I wrapped my arms around him as we landed with a thud. We both laughed as I started tickling him.

"What are you knocking me over for?"

"It was an accident!" He hollered through his laughter. I kept tickling him but next thing I knew a new weight was on me. I looked to see Zoya smiling up at me lying across my stomach.

"Pile Aunty Roza!" She squeaked.

"Oh no!" I fake groaned leaning up to tickle her. Only as soon as I started tickling her, Paul started tickling me, I tried to get them both but they ganged up on me as I lost my balance and fell back down. I hadn't made it very far up, only halfway sitting but it was enough of a fall for them to get leverage.

"Ok! Ok I give up you win!" I conceded. They both backed off laughing as I sat up and faced Zoya. "Come give me a hug baby girl!"

Zoya jumped into my arms like Paul had only she was small enough I could stay sitting.

"Missed you," she said into my shoulder. She had grown so much in the last 3 months. She was only a little over a year old so her talking was a work in progress but already so much better than I'd last heard.

"I missed you too my little princess. You've gotten so big!" She giggled.

"What about me Aunt Roza? Am I bigger too?" Paul asked standing up.

"Let me see," I said standing up, bringing Zoya with me. Once I was fully standing I looked him up and down. "Oh my goodness Paulie I think you've grown a whole foot taller!"

"You're lying," he laughed.

"Ok maybe not a foot but you have grown a few more inches. At this rate you might just be taller than your uncle Dimka when you grow up!"

"Really?" He asked shocked. I nodded.

"Yeva! Did you hear Aunt Rose?" He hollered running into the house. I laughed and followed gesturing for Adrian to follow us inside. Two minutes with these kids and my mood had already lightened considerably. I found Yeva just inside the doorway like she'd been standing there watching until Paul came in. She said something to him in Russian and he ran towards the bathroom. She turned to me and started speaking in Russian, knowing full well I only knew a little bit. I knew what she was doing; she was trying to creep Adrian out. She did it to me for five years before finally admitting she spoke English.

"Hi Yeva," I smiled. She looked me up and down, nodded, and gave me a small hug then told me in Russian to cook dinner, before walking away.

"Ugh but I hate cooking!" I complained. "Technically I'm a guest so you should cook for me!"

"HA!" Came from down the hallway but it was the only response I got.

"Know how to cook?" I asked Adrian. He shook his head.

"Does scrambled eggs count?" I shook my head. "Then nope!"

"Ok well I can show you where you're sleeping and you can bring your stuff in and get settled while I start dinner."

I showed him the house, whose room was where and where the bathroom was. Then he went to the car and I made my way to the kitchen to figure out what to cook. I decided on chicken spaghetti because it was quick and easy and I knew it was one of Dimitri's favorite American meals. I figured it wouldn't be a homecoming without one of his favorite meals. As the meat was cooking I decided to make some black bread for me. Zoya had gone to play with Yeva in her room and Paul turned on a movie while I cooked.

"Need help?" Adrian asked coming into the room. "By the way I put your bag in Viktoria's room."

"Thank you. I think I'm pretty good right now, in a minute you can help me with the garlic bread if you want," I told him.

"Sounds good. I'm surprised you cook," he teased.

"Trust me if it were up to me I wouldn't. Olena decided my senior year that I ate too much black bread for her to keep up with so she made me learn how to make it myself. Then she decided that I needed to learn how to cook at least a few meals of my own since I wasn't here every night for her to make sure I ate. Then before I left to go to LA she made me start cooking meals here and there to make sure I wouldn't go hungry. I only know how to cook maybe 5 or 6 things but it was enough for her and more than I ever wanted to learn," I smiled.

"That's cool. They seem like nice people…well the old lady's kind of creepy," he said looking around.

"Be careful, she has a tendency to pop up out of nowhere," I warned. "Don't let her fool you, she speaks English, she just thinks it's funny to mess with new people."

"You speak Russian?" He asked.

"Very little. I know random words and a few phrases. But I can only have the most basic conversations."

"That's awesome, they really are your family huh?"

"Yea, they're pretty great. My parents sucked and were gone all the time so it was just me most of the time. Olena took me in and made sure I was well taken care of. If I got injured, which happened a lot, she was the one to take me to the ER, and if I got sick she made me soup. Her and Lissa's parents were the ones that took me to every dance class and softball practice. Then when my parents kicked me out at 18 and she found out where I was staying, she pretty much yanked me all the way here by the ear and made me stay with them. If it wasn't for her and this family I don't know where I would have ended up," I admitted.

"Wow. That's really amazing. I'm glad you had them then," he said softly. I smiled.

"Me too. Ok time for the garlic bread. You're going to cut it like this then put butter on top, then I'll tell you where to go from there," I told him as I showed him what to do. After a minute or two of silence he spoke up.

"So you want to talk about it?" He asked. I knew it was coming.

"Not really but I guess you deserve some sort of explanation. Long story short, I lost somebody very, very important to me in that hospital and being back in there today just hit me all over again so I had a panic attack."

"Mhmm…" he muttered. He looked like he was about to say something when Paul ran into the room.

"I'm bored auntie Roza. Come play a game with me!" He whined.

"Well I'm cooking dinner but I'm sure if you asked my friend Adrian over here, he would love to play a game with you. I hear he loves board games!" I pretended to whisper.

"Will you come play with me?" He begged Adrian. Adrian looked over at me asking if I was ok by myself. I gave him a small smile and nodded.

"Go," I said shooing him out.

"I'd love too! What games do we have?" He asked as Paul pulled him towards his room and started naming all of his board games. I turned the music on my phone and hit shuffle as I finished working in the kitchen. Halfway through Zoya came in and asked for more juice in her sippy cup. As I filled it up I saw her dancing so after I put the lid on I grabbed her hands and started dancing with her.

"Oh dear," Olena laughed from the doorway. I jumped and saw her and Dimitri standing there smiling.

"When did you get here?" I asked.

"A couple of minutes ago," Dimitri smirked.

"Oh well dinners almost ready. Zoya sweetheart go was your hands and tell Paul to wash his," I told her handing her the cup. Olena followed her to make sure she washed them and told Paul.

"You're a mess," Dimitri grinned. I looked down and saw I had flour and cheese on my shirt and dirt stains on my pants.

"Yea well I got attacked by a Russian army. Might want to brace yourself when he see's you," I warned.

"I'll do my best," he replied. "I didn't know you cooked?"

"Olena made me learn. I only know about five meals." About then I heard Paul shout 'Uncle Dimka' and then heard what sounded like a stampede. I watched and laughed as Paul barreled down the hallway, Zoya on his heels trying to keep up but failing, then he jumped into Dimitri who had indeed braced himself against the wall and had his arms ready. Paul hugged him as if his life depended on it.

"I didn't think you would ever come back. Did you get lost and Aunt Roza found you and brought you back?" He asked. That had been something he asked me to do when I told him I was moving to LA to try and be a singer like Uncle Dimka used to be. He swore Dimitri had just forgotten where he lived and needed the address again.

"Something like that," Dimka said softly. "You've gotten so big!"

"I play football and baseball, just like you and next year I get to start karate!" He told him excitedly.

"That's awesome. You're going to have to tell me all about it but first let's go sit at the table," he said putting him down. Paul grabbed his hand and made him sit by him at the table. I laughed at their interactions.

"He sure missed him," I told Olena as she came up beside me.

"We all did," she said softly wiping away a tear. I wrapped an arm around her. My timer went off and I jumped and went to pull the bread out. I stirred the spaghetti but saw a few little clumps where the cheese hadn't melted yet. I sat by the stove waiting for it to melt as Olena came over.

"How are you doing?" She asked. I shrugged.

"I'm ok. That baby is beautiful," I said trying not to talk about what she's asking.

"She is. How are you really?" She asked.

"I'm happy for Sonya. I really am. I'm happy to be her baby's Godmother. Today was a little tough but nothing I couldn't handle. Him being there made it harder but I'll be ok," I smiled hoping I wasn't lying. I turned back towards the pot and started stirring again. It still wasn't quite ready so I turned back to Olena.

"You're so tough, almost too tough but you're not a machine you know. If it does get too hard you don't have to go back up there. Sonya understands. She told me if it was too hard to tell you to stay home, she'll be back in a few days," she said softly.

"I'm fine, I promise. Seeing him holding her was just a shock but I'll be back up there tomorrow and I'll be just fine," I smiled softly at her.

"I told her you'd say that," she smiled shaking her head sadly. I turned back to the pot.

"Dinners ready." I announced.

"Why are you cooking anyways? I told Yeva we were going to order pizza," Olena laughed.

"I didn't have to cook?" I asked. Olena smiled and shook her head. "YEVA!"


	16. Chapter 15 Georgia Skies

**AN: So I did have this chapter still, so I decided to go ahead and post it because you all have been amazing! As of right now I have no news on my laptop except they're "working on it"…Hopefully that means it will be fixed and I can get it back soon. If so then I have the next three chapters already written and waiting to be sent to my BETA. If it doesn't get fixed then I will hopefully be able to re-write them quickly…**

 **For those of you that didn't see the previously posted AN, My laptop has crashed and has been sent away (hopefully to be fixed) and it has the next 3 chapters. I thought I had saved them into my One Drive account so I could at least access them from my phone or tablet but when I looked they had all saved wrong, like only half the chapter saved or one chapter saved as another etcetera (Side note, the etc reminded me of the movie split and made me laugh, if you haven't seen it you should it was a GREAT movie lol…if you like movies like that of course. But I digress lol. Horrible ADHD).**

 **Anyways, I'm hoping it will all be fixed soon and I can get my chapters back!**

 **As always I would love to hear your thoughts, opinions, feelings, reactions, comments, criticism, whatever, anything would be nice! I do try to personally respond to each review though sometimes I post the new chapter before I can.**

 _ **After Rose and Dimitri Kissed at the game, the next morning:**_

 _"Are you ok with all of this?" I asked Olena. Her and I were the only two in the kitchen so I decided now would be a good time to talk to her about it._

 _"About you and Dimka dating?" she asked. I nodded. I had woken up this morning with a sore throat and wasn't sure if it was a cold coming on or from all of the screaming yesterday. I had stayed the night here last night, in Vika's room of course. Dimitri was babysitting Paul while Olena cooked and I watched from the bar in the middle of the room. I was on strict orders to stay away from Paul since I might be sick. He may be two already but his immune system was still growing and I didn't want to potentially get him sick._

 _"Of course Krasavitsa, why wouldn't I be?" she asked._

 _"I mean we didn't really talk about it, it just happened. I don't want anything to be awkward or anything," I said._

 _"Oh honey, I've been waiting for this to happen for a long time," she laughed. "It took you two long enough!"_

 _"You expected this?" I asked as my jaw dropped. "But how? Why?"_

 _"Oh Roza, did you really think you were hiding it that well?" she chuckled. I groaned._

 _"Yes!" I laughed. I let my head drop and hit the table, softly because I had a headache. "Was I that obvious?"_

 _"Remember when you punched Avery and told me it was all Dimitri's fault because he was flirting with another girl?"_

 _"Ugh your right! How did he not notice for so long?" I laughed. "How did I not notice for so long?"_

 _"Because you're young," she chuckled._

 _"You know us too well Mama Belikova," I laughed._

 _"That's my job. I am a mother after all," she smiled._

 _"Is this a mistake? What if we break up? Then I can't come over anymore!" I said suddenly panicking._

 _"If you break up then you still will come over almost every day just like normal or I will hunt you down and drag you over here. Just because you break up doesn't mean you're not family anymore," she smiled. "Now how about you go lay down in Dimitri's room and I'll bring you some soup. No offense but you don't look good."_

 _"Thanks, that sounds good. Why Dimitri's room though?" I asked. She reached in the medicine cabinet and pulled out some cold medicine. As she poured it she answered._

 _"Because he's not in there and Vika is still sleeping. You don't need to be sharing a bed with someone and get them sick too. Plus I know Dimka will be checking on you a lot and it will annoy Vika," she laughed. As if on cue someone came into the kitchen, I turned and saw Dimitri in the doorway._

 _"How's everything going in here? How are you feeling Roza?" he asked. I looked over at Olena, she raised an eyebrow at me in an 'I told you so' way and handed me the medicine and I started laughing._

 _"What?" Dimitri asked confused._

 _"Your mother just knows you too well," I teased. I turned back towards the bar as Dimitri came over to me. He put a hand on my shoulder as I took the medicine. When it was gone I leaned back into his stomach and rested against him._

 _"Ok?" he asked still confused. He kissed the top of my head. "How are you feeling?"_

 _"Worse. I think I'm actually sick." I said sadly._

 _"Roza is about to go lay down in your room and then you're going to bring her some soup and my homemade medicine," she told him._

 _"Do I have to drink that?" I groaned. Olena had some homemade Russian drink that she made whenever someone was sick. The crazy thing is she had a different drink for each illness and they all tasted gross. "I might not even be sick, I'm already feeling better!"_

 _"Oh come on Roza, even Paul takes it better than you!" Dimitri laughed. "You just admitted that you think you're sick. Are you going to admit you were wrong?"_

 _"I wasn't wrong but I think it's a kind of sick that will go away without that gross crap," I lied so I didn't have to admit I was wrong._

 _"Roza just drink it," Olena said._

 _"Fine, you win. I'll take it. Just make a little," I relented._

 _"Big baby!" Dimitri laughed._

 _"Hey I'm your girlfriend now you have to be nice to me," I pouted._

 _"Mmmm I don't think so," he teased. "And is that what you are? I don't remember this conversation."_

 _"Yes I think it's the rule, you can't be mean to your girlfriend. And yes, I decided without you," I told him with a smirk."_

 _"Well I like the sound of that. But that means you can't be mean to me," he countered._

 _"Nope, doesn't work that way," I told him._

 _"Alright you two quit your bickering. Roza upstairs, bed, now. Dimitri, baby, now."_

 _"Karolina's in there with him."_

 _"Ok well then go do whatever but leave Roza alone to rest," she told him pointing her finger at him. "Roza, upstairs."_

 _"Carry me?" I asked looking up at Dimitri._

 _"You can walk," he laughed._

 _"Please?" I pouted._

 _"Fine," he sighed. He turned around. "Climb on."_

 _I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. "Thank you!"_

 _He walked up stairs and into his room. He turned and stopped in front of his bed. Luckily he didn't drop me like he usually would have done. This girlfriend thing has perks._

 _"Thank you," I said quickly kissing his neck before hopping down. Luckily I was still in my pajamas which consisted of one of Dimitris shirts that I'd stolen last night and some of Vika's shorts. I used to borrow Vika's shirts if I didn't have clothes with me but unfortunately thanks to my latest growth spurt, our chests were different sizes so I wore a larger shirt than her._

 _"Hop in," Dimitri said gesturing to the bed. I climbed in and he pulled the covers up for me._

 _"My, what a gentleman," I laughed joking._

 _"Shut up," he laughed sitting on the edge of the bed._

 _"Hey I'm sick you have to be nice," I told him burrowing in the covers._

 _"Thought I had to be nice because you were my girlfriend?" he teased._

 _"You do," I agreed._

 _"You can't have it both ways," he smirked._

 _"Yes I can," I muttered getting comfortable. He moved his hand up to my head and started running his hand through my hair at my scalp. "That feels good."_

 _"Good. Go to sleep, I'll bring you soup and medicine later."_

 _"Ok," I said closing my eyes._

 _"Sorry you got sick because of me," he said softly._

 _"Worth it," I said softly. He leaned down and kissed me on the forehead. I smiled but kept my eyes closed._

 _"Go to sleep," he whispered. I just nodded and slowly fell asleep._

 **Present:**

After dinner Paul begged Dimitri to go play with him, Vika and Yeva each went to their rooms, and Olena insisted on cleaning the kitchen even though I'd cooked. I decided to take Adrian out on the back porch so he could see what a real starry night was. We sat on the back porch swing.

"This is one of my favorite things to do, just sit outside at night and watch the sky," I told him.

"You definitely don't see skies like this in LA," he remarked. "Mind if I smoke out here? I snuck one in when I got the bags but I'm kind of dying here."

"Sure. But you might want to move a little further away from the house," I warned. I walked out into the yard with him and we went to the big old tree in the back yard and sat against it.

"So did you two talk on the plane?" Adrian asked.

"A little. We just talked a little bit about him seeing his family again. Then I went to sleep."

"He still loves you," he said softly.

"What makes you say that?" I asked curious.

"I accidentally walked in on him singing to you on the plane. He didn't hear me but I heard him. It sounded like a song he wrote for you."

"I thought I dreamed that!" I gasped. We sat there in silence for a few seconds before I spoke up again. "Even if you were right it doesn't matter."

"Why?"

"I keep trying to tell you, things have changed. I've changed, he's changed. Too much has happened!" I said frustrated before pausing and taking a breath. "Sorry it's just it really doesn't matter whether or not he still loves me. For one, he's with Tasha and only God knows why but he really seems to care about her. I would never get between that no matter how big of a bitch she is. Secondly things have happened that I don't know if I can get past. Even if I could I know he couldn't. The past 5 years haven't been pretty."

"I'm just saying, I think you're being too hard on yourself Little Red," he said wrapping an arm around me. I leaned into him for comfort. I didn't say anything as we sat in silence for a few minutes. "Well I think I'm going to go to bed. It's been a long day."

"Goodnight," I said as he stood up. He offered me his hand. "No thanks. I'm going to stay out here for a little while longer."

"Want me to stay with you?" he asked.

"Nah I'm good. Plus all this seriousness from you is creeping me out," I teased.

"Ok well if you get too cold or lonely you can come join me," he winked. I laughed.

"There you go, much better," I smiled.

"Night little red," he smiled before turning and walking towards the house.

"Night," I called after him. I watched him disappear into the house as I sighed. He wasn't lying it had been a long day. And very emotional. I looked up at the house and saw Vika's light was out. I figure I'm going to be on the couch tonight. I sighed. After a few minutes of just watching the stars I saw Olena come to the back door. She gestured for me to come up to the porch. She sat on the porch swing and I sat beside her. She wrapped her arm around me and I pulled my legs up onto the swing as I laid my head on her shoulder.

"So, I'm not going to bring up today. You'll talk to me about that if you want to. You do owe me some answers though," she said rocking the swing softly.

"Where do you want me to start?"

"How about the beginning?" she said and I could hear the smile in her voice. So I did. I told her everything starting from Eddie approaching me in the bar to our fight the first day, our agreement to do a trial run then my meltdown at the bar, and finished with the last two weeks.

"Well that sounds about right," she laughed. "You two have always fought like cats and dogs."

"Not like this mama Belikova. We've been hitting to hurt. We might've fought in the past but we've never purposely hurt each other. I really don't mean to but he'll say something and well you know I have no filter and I guess I'm just more hurt than I realized. I thought that I had gotten over him leaving at least but the moment I saw him it all came back like a flood and I'm having to learn how to deal with it all over again. I have no idea why he's been so harsh."

"Don't worry he'll be getting his later. Don't listen to him. Who knows what his deal is."

"I wish I knew but he won't tell me," I said softly.

"He'll come around. He's stubborn. You both are. Why didn't you tell us sooner?"

"I was scared. I knew if I told you and he left again it would break all of your hearts all over again so I was trying to get some answers to make sure he stayed put this time."

"In the meantime, you were trying to deal with it by yourself?"

"Well…I had Mia to help me, though she really doesn't know much. Plus I kind of told Lissa and swore her to secrecy…" I said hesitantly.

"How in the world did that girl keep a secret for so long?" she laughed.

"I have no idea," I laughed with her. We sat there in silence for a minute before she spoke up again. "So are you mad at me?"

"I'm not happy with how you handled it but I understand. I'm just glad to have him home."

"I am too," I admitted. "I know how much you've missed him and I could see when we were talking on the plane he's missed you all just as much. I'm glad you are all back together. Maybe being back home will help him. He won't admit it but there's a sadness in his eyes. Hopefully being back home will take it away."

"Have you thought about telling him?" she asked and I knew what she was talking about.

"Lissa tried talking to me about it but I said no. What's the point? It would only cause him more pain."

"He has a right to know."

"I can't mama Belikova. I know you don't agree but I just can't. At least not right now. please just give me some time," I said softly my voice breaking. "I don't know if I can take it if he hated me and he will when he finds out."

"No, lyublyu. He's not going to hate you. He's going to have to go through the emotions just like you did and he will be angry but he will move on from that. He couldn't hate you if he tried. You know that. Even after everything, you don't hate him, you even just admitted you want him to be happy," she said softly.

"Yea but it's a little different. I told him to leave, I gave him my blessing to leave so I can't really hate him for that. I can be mad about what he did after but I can't hate him for that. He knew nothing about Connor and even though it happened after he left I still hid it. Even though we were broken up and he was gone, he's not only going to hate me, he's going to feel betrayed," I said sadly.

"I'm not going to lie and say he's going to be ok with how you handled it but, he will eventually move on and get over it. It's not going to be easy for either of you but that doesn't mean he doesn't deserve to know."

"I get what you're saying and even though a part of me agrees can you just give me some time? Please?" I begged sitting up and looking at her.

"Of course lyublyu. I just wouldn't take too long. I can't guarantee no one else will say anything," she said before standing up. "Now it's been a long day and I'm sure you're exhausted so why don't we go to bed. We can catch up more tomorrow."

"Sounds like a plan," I said standing up with her. She reached over and drew me into a hug.

"I'm so proud of you. And even though I know it hurts, thank you for bringing him back," she said before leaning back and putting a hand on my cheek. "But don't hurt yourself putting us first though. You know we're always here for you and we love you too."

"Thank you mama Belikova. I love you too," I said quietly. She released me and I headed inside. I went upstairs only to find myself locked out of Viktoria's room. I saw Dimitri's door open and heard the shower going so I knew he wasn't in there. Since my stuff was now locked away, I quickly snuck into his room and grabbed some pajama's I'd left behind when I moved out. I quickly headed down the hall. I wasn't sure why I didn't want Dimitri to know I'd stayed in his room. He was going to figure it out, probably before the end of the night. My stuff I'd left behind was still there. I went into the room Adrian was staying in and turned the light on. Adrian looked up at me sleepily.

"Oh my, what do we have here? I knew you'd come around," he teased. I grabbed a pillow and threw it at him as he sat up.

"Shut up. I got locked out and it was this or the couch and if Dimitri sees me on the couch he'll insist I sleep in his room and then it will just be a fight so I chose in here. No funny business!" I warned. "Turn and face the wall so I can change."

"Ok but I only sleep naked," he teased.

"Not tonight you don't!" I warned as I changed. Only after I was dressed did I realize I had grabbed one of Dimitri's old t-shirts and some old soffee shorts. "There better be pants on under there."

"Do I have to wear a shirt?" he whined.

"You can turn back," I told him as I finished dressing. "I don't care as long as there's pants on."

"Don't pretend Little Red, you know you just are dying to see these chiseled abs," he teased as I turned the light off.

"Oh is that what chiseled looks like? I've had the wrong idea my whole life. I thought it meant really muscular," I laughed back.

"Ouch. Kitty has claws," he said pretending to be upset.

"oh boo hoo," I laughed. I crawled in beside him and faced the opposite way. After a minute of silence I broke it. "Hey Adrian?"

"Yea?" he asked sleepily.

"Thanks for being a good friend."

"No Problem Red. Goodnight."

I tried my hardest to fall asleep but 20 minutes later my mind still wouldn't shut off. When it did start to, Adrian would start snoring so I would have to start all over again. Eventually I gave up and decided the couch would be better. Hopefully Dimitri was already asleep. Luckily I had my head phones and my ipod in the jeans I'd been wearing. I quietly got them out and headed downstairs. No one was down there and the lights were off so I moved over to the couch and grabbed a blanket. I laid down facing the back of the couch as I turned my ipod on and tried to clear my head. As I tried to focus on the lyrics and clear my head, the image of Dimitri in the hospital holding Katya popped into my head. My heart twisted as I tried to clear it out but it was sticking. Quietly a tear or two ran down my cheek as I finally drifted off picturing Dimitri holding a baby, only this time I was beside him and the blanket was blue…

DPOV:

I went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water before going to shower. I just tucked Paul in and was more than ready for bed. I heard voices on the porch and went towards the door to see who it was. I saw mama and Roza on the porch swing through the screen door. It had been Roza's voice I'd heard as she was still talking.

"It's a little different. I told him to leave, I gave him my blessing to leave so I can't really hate him for that. I can be mad about what he did after but I can't hate him for that. He knew nothing about Connor and even though it happened after he left I still hid it. Even though we were broken up and he was gone, he's not only going to hate me, he's going to feel betrayed," she said her voice filling with regret and sadness. I turned and walked back to the sink. I put my cup in the dishwasher and headed upstairs as her words played on repeat in my mind.

As I climbed in the shower I couldn't get them out of my head. The more I replayed them the angrier I felt. Who was Connor? Why would I feel betrayed because of something that happened after I left? The only thing I could think is, it didn't take very long for her to move on. If that's the case why play the victim so hard? If she had moved on why was she so upset I dropped contact? Had she been cheating on me before I left? Is that why she was ok with me leaving? No, Roza would never do that. I'm certain of that. So what is it? There were just too many questions and unfortunately no answers. But she was hiding something.

After I got back to my room after my shower, I sat on the bed and looked around for the first time. That's when I realized it was different. It was mostly the same but I noticed things on the dresser and night stand that weren't mine. I saw a few lip balms and some girly body spray.

Rose. That's why mama said that earlier. I had thought it was weird but shrugged it off. Rose must have moved into my room when she moved in. It would make sense because it was the only empty room and it would be pointless for her to share with Vika when there was a perfectly good and empty room. I looked around and saw the other stuff Rose had left behind. A picture of her and Lissa from Halloween her freshman year. One of her and me on the beach at the lake she'd taken. A few other odds and ends. I laid down on the bed and realized it smelled like her even though she hadn't been in here for a while. I laid on my side facing the dresser with our picture on it and thought back to that day.

I didn't get very far before I heard a laugh through the wall of the room Adrian was in. Roza's laugh to be exact. Before I heard a thump of someone jumping onto a bed. I stepped out of my room and looked over and saw the light was off. Was she sleeping in there? Why?

I grit my teeth and made my way downstairs to get a cup of tea and calm down. She swore her and Adrian were just friends so why is she sleeping there with him? Why do I care?

I made my way over to the stove to grab the kettle before I realized there was already hot water in there. I quickly made a cup of tea for myself before heading out onto the back porch. I found mama on one of our wooden porch chairs and went to sit beside her. We sat in silence for a few minutes before I broke it.

"Are you going to ask?" I questioned wondering why she hadn't asked me about the last few years.

"It's your story to tell Dimka. If you want me to know you'll tell me. You should tell Roza though. She deserves answers."

"I can't mama. I messed up. At first I was too homesick so, I thought if I put distance between me and everyone here I wouldn't be as tempted to come back. I made a lot of mistakes when I got to California and eventually I just honestly thought it was better for everyone if I stayed away."

"No problems get solved by you running away. You know we would have helped you and accepted you no matter what. You and Roza could have helped each other. She hasn't had it very easy either."

"I've picked up on that. Want to fill me in? She's told me a little bit."

"Now Dimitri Belikov what makes you think I'm going to tell you her secrets. You can't expect her to open up to you when you're not willing to do the same," she scoffed. I smiled sadly.

"I figured you'd say that. She said she's a lot better now. That's not much of a comfort though. She's different," I told her honestly.

"So are you. That happens when you grow up. She's had to grow up quicker than most and it's affected her. She isn't lying though when she says she's better now. She's still working on her problems but she's a fighter and she's fought hard over the last few years. It almost sounds like you still care about her?" she said raising an eyebrow at me.

"I'll always care about her. She was my best friend and first love. We've known each other for most of our lives. Even if we aren't in a relationship doesn't mean I can't worry about her and want her to be happy."

"I'm glad to hear that," she smiled. "How have you been?"

"I've been good. I'm producing music instead of making it anymore. I have a girlfriend, Tasha. Rose hates her," I laughed.

"Roza has always hated all of your girlfriends," she chuckled. "Though I don't know if I blame her this time."

"Mama!" I said surprised before laughing myself. "That's rude! You don't even know her."

"I'm just saying. She doesn't look like the nicest person. Plus I've heard her in some interviews. It doesn't seem like she has the best intentions."

"That's the media. If you knew her, she's really not that bad," I said though I wasn't sure if I was telling the truth or not honestly. Tasha started out as a good friend. Nice, friendly and easy to talk to. Over the years she has changed and became a lot colder and a little meaner but, for some reason I stay.

"Then maybe you should bring her home to meet your mama, so I can decide for myself," she smirked.

"I don't think that'd be a good idea," I said hesitantly.

"Why not? Don't you want to introduce your girlfriend to your family? You've been dating long enough."

"Well for one Roza is here and I don't think it's a good idea for them to be under the same roof. Second I don't think she'd like it in Georgia."

"You're with a girl who wouldn't be happy to come meet your family?" she asked, I could hear the disappointment in her voice.

"It's not that she wouldn't be happy to meet you, small towns really are not her thing. Maybe I can fly you out to LA and you can meet her there?" I suggested.

"We'll see," she relented. "Why are you still up?"

"Well I was in my room and I couldn't sleep so I decided I needed some fresh air. Why are you still up?"

"Roza and I were talking," she said looking out into the yard sadly. Then she turned towards me and smiled again. "I think I'm going to head to bed. You should too."

"I am," I said getting up with her as we walked into the kitchen. Mama hugged me tightly.

"I'm glad you're home. I've missed you," she said sadly and I could hear the tears in her voice.

"I missed you too mama," I told her honestly. She let me go and headed down the hall towards her room. I started to head towards the stairs but I heard a noise in the living room. I walked in there only to find someone on the couch. I turned the hall light on and saw it was Roza. I shook my head at her stubbornness and went over to her. I saw she had music playing and took her ear buds out wrapping them around the ipod so they didn't get tangled or stuck on anything. I bent down and picked her up. She was light, lighter than I remembered. As I held her she curled into me and buried her head in between my neck and shoulder. I made my way over to the stairs and headed towards my room. Luckily I had left the door cracked so I just nudged it open with my foot. I gently laid her down and she turned curling into the pillow beside her. I covered her up and sat there for a few minutes. This time she almost looked peaceful, until I noticed the tear tracks on her cheeks... my heart twisted for her. Even if she did move on too quickly or whatever it is, I still hate to see her cry. I almost leaned down to kiss her on the forehead but stopped myself, I guess old habits die hard. I did move her hair out of her face before standing up. I softly left the room making sure to be as quiet as possible before heading downstairs to take her recently vacated place on the couch. As I laid there I noticed it smelled like her and her strawberry shampoo. I inhaled deeply as I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.


	17. Chapter 16 Using Babies

**AN: So I still haven't gotten my computer back, or found out if I'm going to get it back at all so this might be the last update for a couple of weeks. Hopefully not but if they can fix it, I'm going to wait until I get it back before posting the next chapter. You know when you write an essay or you do something really good and then something messes it up and you have to do it all over again and it just doesn't turn out as good? That's what I'm scared is going to happen if I try to rewrite the next two chapters…**

 **Thank you all for the support and encouragement.**

 **I did get a guest review that I would like to address so If you want to go ahead and skip to the chapter this part isn't important.**

 **Review:** _**Dimitri is a creep. I don't like where this story is going. I thought by now he'd be showing real regret. He's talking about flying the family out to meet Tasha. He's planning o. Staying with her. Rose deserves better. I'm out!**_

 **My Response: I don't really understand how he's a creep…could you elaborate on that because if that's the vibe I'm giving off I would like to fix it. I feel like he said that to placate her…do you think if he was having relationship troubles with the girl his mom already hates she would give unbiased advice? I think Dimitri is confused and it's showing. He did even mention he doesn't really know why he's still with her which means he is questioning his relationship with her. Unfortunately for it to be a great story it can't be 'they run into each other and immediately get back together'. They both have gone through a lot the last 5 years and now they're both dealing with that and trying to figure out where to go from here. Rose does deserve better but unfortunately they both have a ways to go before they even attempt at getting back together.**

 **I hope that made sense and helps. I know a few of you have made comments about the way they're acting and such. Maybe that explained it a little better…if not well let me know and I'll try to help out!**

 **Dimitri and Rose After they started dating-**

 _"Let's play 20 questions," I suggested looking up at Dimitri. We were at a private part of the lake that not too many people knew about, laying in the bed of his truck. Dimitri had thought ahead and brought pillows and blankets. Right now it wasn't cold so we were laying on the blankets watching the clouds. He had one arm behind his head and I was lying with my head on his chest while his other hand was lying across his stomach holding mine._

 _"You already know everything," he laughed. Looking down at me before looking back up._

 _"Not everything," I said laying my head back down on his chest._

 _"What do you not know?" he asked._

 _"Lots of things."_

 _"Like?"_

 _"Like…..if you could meet any celebrity in the world dead or alive who would it be?" I asked with a small smile._

 _"Jessica Simpson," he said quickly. I leaned up and looked at him trying to raise an eyebrow._

 _"Dimitri Belikov you better be kidding," I said trying to pretend to be mad, I knew he was just messing with me. He barely even likes Jessica Simpson._

 _"I mean what guy wouldn't want to meet Daisy Duke? Especially in those shorts and boots! Whoo!" he said smiling I sat up and crossed my arms really starting to get annoyed. He reached up and pulled me back down but tilted my head towards him. "I'm kidding. She's not even my type. I'm more into brunettes with torn up jeans and t-shirts."_

 _"Better be!" I said pretending to still be mad._

 _"You know I'd take you over any fake blonde bimbo any day. Plus she'd probably just agree with everything I say and we'd never fight and what's the fun in that? I like my girls with a little bit of fire."_

 _"Damn right. You don't need someone that won't argue with you because then your head would get so big it'd explode," I teased._

 _"Exactly," he said leaning down and kissing me on the forehead. "So if you could meet any celebrity dead or alive who would It be?"_

 _"Hmmm…" I said pretending to think about it. I smiled and Dimitri raised an eyebrow at me. I sat up so I could get ready to run planning a payback. "You know I'd love to meet Channing Tatum. He's got some amazing dance moves."_

 _"Dance moves?" he asked._

 _"Oh yea. Could you imagine me and him dancing together? It would light up a stage. I mean you're an ok dancer but he's amazing."_

 _"Oh really?" he laughed knowing I was paying him back. As I was talking I got up on my knees and prepared to jump up and run._

 _"Plus that body. I can see it now-" Dimitri pretended to lunge at me. I jumped up and headed towards the water, jumping off his tailgate. Luckily I was already in my bikini top so I pulled my shorts down as I was running and kicked them off. I heard Dimitri coming up behind me but kept going. Once the water hit right above my knees I felt Dimitri grab me around the waist and spin me in a circle as I laughed._

 _"You better not be thinking about any other guys body." He said as I turned around in his arms. He started walking me backwards._

 _"Oh yea, what if I do?" I teased._

 _"Oh is that how it's going to be?"_

 _"You started it." I quickly slipped out from his arms and took a few steps before Dimitri grabbed me and playfully threw me under. When I came back up I slapped his arm. "Asshole!"_

 _"You started it!" he laughed. He grabbed me around the waist but quickly before I knew it he reached down and scooped my knees out from under me._

 _"Dimitri Belikov don't you dare think about it!" I warned._

 _"You still thinking about Channing Tatum and his hot body?" he asked._

 _"Maybe,' I taunted. He lifted me like he was about to throw me. "Fine! Channing who?"_

 _"Still thinking about other guys?" he asked with a smile. By now he had reached where the water was about to the middle of his stomach. I wrapped my arms around his neck and twisted my hips so I could bring my leg over and wrap around him._

 _"Well there is this one guy. He's pretty cute. His girlfriends kind of hot too," I said smirking running my finger across his shoulder._

 _"Oh yea?" he asked._

 _"Yea. Plus he's foreign and even though his accent isn't always very strong, it's sexy as hell when it comes out."_

 _"Got a thing for foreigners then?" he asked._

 _"Well so far just Russians. It's kind of ruined me on other accents. Though when he speaks with a Russian and a southern accent, well let's just say it's hot." I said my finger going up his neck and across his jaw, I watched and smiled as goosebumps broke out where my finger touched. "Then again he's kind of hot."_

 _"Better be," he growled before leaning down and kissing me. My hand that had been tracing his skin slid to the back of his neck as I rose up to meet his kiss. We made out for a few minutes before I pulled away. I pulled away from him and started swimming on my own away from him._

 _"You messed up our game," I teased._

 _"Um no, you ran away."_

 _"You started it with Jessica Simpson," I said splashing him._

 _"Cause Channing Tatum didn't mess anything up!" he said splashing back._

 _"Paybacks a bitch!" I teased._

 _We continued splashing around for a little while before making our way up to the shore. Dimitri wrapped me in a towel and grabbed one for himself. As we dried off we made our way back to the sand. He laid his out and laid on his stomach, arms under his head. I laid mine beside him and laid on my back as we let the sun dry us._

 _"Ok so what were you really wanting to ask me?" Dimitri asked after a few minutes._

" _What do you mean?" I asked._

 _"You suggested the twenty questions with something in mind. You already know what celebrity I would like to meet and you know pretty much everything else about me so what were you wanting to ask?"_

 _"I was just wanting to play a game," I denied not wanting to admit he was right._

 _"Roza," he said knowingly. He reached over and turned my head to face him. "Just ask."_

 _I blushed and rolled over onto my stomach. I leaned onto my elbows as I started playing with my hands as I let my hair fall and hide my face._

 _"What has you so embarrassed?" Dimitri laughed. "It's me we're talking about. I'm an open book with you."_

 _"Well I was wondering…I'm not exactly…how many…"_

 _"What?" he asked confused._

 _"I was wondering exactly how many girls you've…been with." I asked. I'm sure my face was bright red._

 _"Ah," he said knowingly. "Surprisingly not as many as you'd think."_

 _"Really?" I asked curious._

 _"Really. I know everyone thinks I've screwed every girl I've dated since I was a freshman but it's not true. I've only actually slept with two."_

 _"Two?" I repeated shocked. Even I thought that it would be a lot more than that._

" _Don't sound so surprised," he chuckled._

" _Why let everyone think that if it's not true?" I asked looking over at him. He moved the hair out of my face and rolled onto his side as I laid my head on my hands and looked at him._

" _Because I don't really care what people think. Plus all the girls seem to get satisfaction from everyone thinking we did so who am I to upset them, it doesn't bother me either way."_

" _Oh," I muttered. I turned my head the other way and closed my eyes taking in what he admitted. If I was honest that was something that I'd worried about since we got together. I was still a virgin and the thought of him with half the school was intimidating._

" _But you know what?" he asked softly leaning over me._

" _What?" I asked. He kissed the elbow closest to him and kissed his way up to my shoulder._

" _None of it matters because none of them compare to you," he said softly._

" _But we haven't even…so you can't say that," I said softly turning onto my back._

" _Doesn't matter. None of them compare to you because I didn't love any of them. I love you," he said softly before leaning down and kissing me softly._

" _You think you're so smooth don't you," I chuckled when he pulled away._

" _I am smooth," he smirked._

" _So it doesn't matter to you that I'm…inexperienced?" I asked. "Or that I don't know if I'm ready."_

" _No Roza. That doesn't bother me at all. Do I want to? Hell yes but I also am not going to ever rush you. I don't want to rush us. We have a lifetime ahead of us."_

" _Oh that was good," I teased. He smirked and leaned down to kiss me again. About then my stomach growled. I looked up at Dimitri as he looked down at my stomach then back up at me. We both started laughing as he stood up and offered a hand to me._

" _Come on, I packed us a cooler."_

 _We made our way over to the truck. Dimitri pulled an ice chest from behind his seat and a grocery bag. He opened the ice chest and pulled out some fruit, fruit dip and stuff to make sandwiches. I opened the grocery bag and saw some chips. A bag of his favorite and a bag of mine._

" _You thought of everything," I remarked._

" _I know, I'm amazing," he said smugly._

" _Eh somedays." I laughed._

" _Hey I'm making you food, I'd be nice if I were you," he smirked._

" _Who am I kidding, you're the best!" I teased. I playfully kissed him on the cheek before climbing back on the bed of the truck. I leaned against the back of the cab and against the side as I watched Dimitri make the sandwiches as I snacked on the chips._

" _You could help you know," he teased._

" _I know, but isn't that why you're here?"_

" _I see how it is," he muttered._

" _Hey can you hand me the fruit and fruit dip?" I asked knowing it would aggravate him more._

" _Really?" he asked._

" _I forgot it on the way up. Please?" I asked as nice as I could. He groaned and rolled his eyes before stopping what he was doing and handing them over to me._

" _Thank you!" I laughed._

" _Whatever. Lazy!"_

" _But you love me anyway!" I joked._

" _Unfortunately," he muttered._

" _Ass," I laughed throwing a grape at him._

 **Present**

I shot up gasping for air. I clutched my chest willing the images from the latest nightmare to fade. That's when I glanced around and realized I wasn't on the couch anymore, but back in Dimitri's room. He must have found me on the couch. I saw the sun was already out so I reached over and checked my phone, Dimitri must have grabbed it off the table for me. It was already 7:30 so I decided to just go ahead and get up for the day. I made my way downstairs and found Olena in the kitchen cooking breakfast.

"No matter how early I get up, you always beat me," I laughed.

"Well some of us don't like to sleep all day," she teased.

"Hey this is not all day," I laughed. "The birds aren't even chirping yet."

"Did you sleep well?" she asked.

"Better than expected. Vika locked me out so I fell asleep on the couch and woke up in Dimitri's bed," I told her.

"I should beat that girl," she said angrily. "At least Dimitri has some manners."

"You can't really blame her though. I expected it. She's mad because I didn't tell her about Dimitri. She'll calm down eventually….I hope."

"That still does not give her right to lock you out."

"Well it's not exactly like I'm a guest or company," I teased.

"I'm still going to talk to her. What she did yesterday was uncalled for," she said looking at me sadly.

"It's ok. I'm fine," I smiled at her hating when she gave me those looks like I'm a sad puppy.

"I know you are. Have plans already today?" she asked changing subjects.

"Well I think I'll go to the hospital and spend some time with the girls and the baby. Then I figure Adrian and I can go to the studio and see if we can book some time soon so we can finish this song. Then later Mason, Lissa and I are going to meet up."

"Is dimka going to be going with you?"

"I haven't really talked to him but I figured he could go later, I'm thinking Paul isn't going to let him out of the house easily. Plus I was kind of hoping for some girl time," I told her. I figure I could take the rental and then when Dimitri wants to come up he can bring his truck and Adrian."

"Sounds good," Dimitri said walking into the kitchen.

"Good morning!" Olena said cheerfully. Just him entering the room I could see the joy radiating off of her. I smiled at her obvious happiness. After everything she's done for me, it's good to see her happy.

"Morning mama, Rose," he said nodding towards me as he sat down beside me at the bar. "Take the rental, when Adrian wakes we'll head up there."

"Thanks, sounds good," I told him before standing up. When I did, I accidentally brushed against him. A jolt ran through me as I paused for a second. He looked down at me but I avoided his gaze. I tried to ignore the feeling as I kept walking.

"I'm going to go try and see if I can get to my clothes," I said before heading up stairs. The door was still locked but I heard her moving around. Since the kids and most of the house was still asleep I texted her knowing she always had her phone in her hand.

 **Rose: I know you're awake. Just let me in to get my stuff, you don't even have to talk to me.**

Viktoria opened the door in a huff but avoided looking at me as she stormed by me and headed downstairs.

"Thank you," I called after her. She kept walking but flipped me off.

Forty-five minutes later I was on my way to the hospital with a bag of food packed by Olena for Sonya and Karo. I cranked up the music and braced myself for going back into my own personal hell hole. I truly am happy for Sonya but I hate that hospital more than anyplace in the world. Before I knew it I was pulling into the parking lot and making my way into the hospital. I tried to avoid looking around or looking at anything that would trigger old memories. When I got into the room I breathed a sigh of relief.

"I come baring gifts," I smiled lifting the bag of food in the air.

"You are a God send!" Karolina exclaimed. "Hospital food sucks."

"Oh it's not ALL horrible," I laughed. "Some of its actually edible."

"Nothing that they've given me is," Sonya laughed. "Luckily they're going to let us go home this afternoon."

"That's so good! I'm glad you're getting out so early!" I said genuinely happy for her. "Speaking of, where is my God daughter?"

"They took her back for a bath. She should be back soon," she said not able to keep the prideful smile off of her face. Karolina had started pulling the food out and setting it on Sonya's tray and sat across it on the side of Sonya's bed

"Well they better hurry! I need to start spoiling her already," I teased. She shook her head at me before turning serious.

"Are you ok?" she asked. "I mean with him being around, being here, and everything?"

"I'm good," I nodded, appreciating her concern. Even if I was on the verge of a break down, which thankfully today I wasn't, I would never admit that to her and ruin her baby high. I also knew she wouldn't stop prying until I told her something so I decided a little honesty would be ok. "Yesterday…well that was difficult. Not going to lie. Seeing him holding her…well that was bad. But I've dealt with it and I'm good now."

"Ok liar," Karolina smiled knowingly. "We'll pretend to believe that. Dimitri summarized a little of what's been going on, so want to give us your side?"

"Yea, want to tell us why you didn't tell anyone you found him?" Sonya asked accusingly. I smiled because no matter what, Sonya was Sonya and still got pissed easily.

"Ugh," I sighed knowing this will not even be close to the last time explaining this. "Ok well when we first met, it was coincidence. I got a meeting with a label and they wanted me to go meet my new producer and it just happened to be him. We fought, badly. Honestly he wasn't the same guy that had left us years ago so I wanted to get answers. See if maybe I could convince him to come to you all and see if I could find out why he left with no contact so it wouldn't happen again. I didn't want to get your hopes up only for him to flee again. I know, I should have probably just told you from the start but I wanted to save you as much heartache as I could."

They both kind of nodded for a few seconds taking it all in, before both exploded on me.

"That's so stupid!" Sonya said angrily at the same time Karolina exclaimed, "You are crazy!"

"Gee thanks guys," I commented dryly.

"I'm just saying. We are all adults. We deserved to know the truth and make our own decisions. I appreciate you trying to spare us harm but you really had no right to keep our brother from us," Karolina exclaimed.

"It was 4 weeks! It really wasn't even like I hid it that long!" I said trying but failing to not get upset.

"It was long enough that you had plenty of time to tell us!" Sonya interjected. About that time a nurse came in wheeling the baby with her.

"Hey look a sleeping baby," I said a little cheerfully knowing they couldn't really yell at me when the baby was sleeping. After the nurse situated her, I went and softly picked her up at Sonya's nod of approval.

"Hey baby girl," I said softly. She started to move like she was going to wake up but I rocked her gently and she went right back to sleep. "She really is beautiful Sonya."

"She is isn't she?" she said softly before her face hardened again. "Don't try to win me over by complimenting my baby."

"I would never," I smirked at her. I went over to the chair and sat down since Karo had been sitting on the foot of Sonya's bed.

"You would and you are. I'm still mad at you no matter how gorgeous you think my baby is," she huffed. I looked up at her.

"Look I'm sorry. I handled it wrong. Really wrong. If for whatever reason I'm in this situation again I know better but I was only trying to spare you all. I completely understand your anger so be mad at me for however long you need to be. If I was you I would be just as mad, just know that I am sorry."

"Ugh! You make it really hard to be mad at you," Karolina relented.

"I try," I teased. She smiled and rolled her eyes and I knew I was forgiven. We both looked at Sonya.

"I'm still not happy about it but I understand," she admitted.

"It's a start," I told her. "Now how about you eat and quit yelling at me."

"Fine but I want info," she said sternly. I nodded reluctantly. "What's it been like? How's he been?"

"He's…changed," I admitted not really knowing what to say. "He's not the same man that left here all those years ago. I'm hoping him being home will change that though."

"Oh listen to you!" Karolina laughed. "'All those years ago' like it was twenty years instead of five!"

"Eh sometimes it feel like twenty," I smiled softly.

"I'm sure it does," Sonya said sadly. "Have you…?"

"Well that's one thing I wanted to talk to you both about and one reason I came alone," I said knowing where she was going. It's been everyone's first question. "I haven't and I haven't decided if I'm going to. Before you argue with me, I do agree he deserves to know but I also think telling him will only hurt him and make him feel guilty. You know him, he takes everything on himself like everything is his responsibility."

"Gee sounds like someone else we know," Sonya smirked at me.

"You two are a perfect couple," Karolina laughed.

"Roza he does deserve to know though. Whether it will hurt him or not. You owe it to him to tell him," Sonya said.

"I don't OWE him anything," I said trying not to raise my voice since I had a sleeping baby in my arms. "I tried to call him and tell him and he wouldn't answer. I didn't leave him. He left me. I don't owe him."

"Ok I'm sorry. That was bad wording on my part but even you admitted he deserves to know," she said calmly.

"I'm sorry but this is my decision. I am thinking hard about it but, you can't tell him. You both know if it doesn't come from me, it will be so much worse. Plus it's my story to tell," I said wanting this conversation to end.

"Fine we won't tell him but, we also aren't going to stop trying to get you to tell him," Karolina relented.

"I understand where you're coming from, I was there for the worst of it with you but he still needs to know. You are right though, it needs to come from you," Sonya said sadly. I looked down to avoid her pity and gazed at the beautiful baby in my arms. It was all getting a little too much. I pretended to look at my phone to see the time.

"Oh wow, I'm about to be late," I exclaimed softly, lying. "I set up a meeting at a studio to try and book some studio time so we could finish this song."

I got up gently and laid Katya back down softly as not to wake her. I went over and hugged Sonya and Karolina.

"Dimitri should be here soon to see y'all. If you need a ride home or anything else just call or text me, I'll be in town for a while," I said grabbing my satchel bag I'd taken off when I'd gotten there.

"Ok. Thanks for the food. We'll see you at the house later," Karolina said.

"Thank you for stopping by Roza, I know it was hard for you. Think about what we said," Sonya said seriously.

"I will. Anytime," I smiled before walking out the door. This time wasn't as bad as yesterday. I was better prepared for it today. I leaned against the door jam and took a deep breath before pulling my phone out and heading to the elevator. I was in the middle of a text when I heard my name. I looked up to see Dr. Olendsky, one of the main doctors at the hospital.

"Hey Rose. Here for Sonya?" she asked. I nodded.

"Yea I came to visit her and the baby," I told her.

"Pretty baby," she commented. "How have you been?"

"Good," I lied knowing what she was referring to. "I got a record deal, found Dimitri, made some new friends out in LA."

"That's good, I'm glad. You're looking a little thin. Have you been eating and sleeping better?" she asked knowingly.

"I eat. Being here I'm sure will help with that. Olena doesn't allow anyone to go hungry," I joked.

"No she sure doesn't," she smiled. "Sleeping?"

"It's better. I'm still having the nightmares but I'm working on it. They're better than they were," I admitted softly.

"Well that's good. If you need anything let me know. We can set up an appointment and get you some meds for your sleeping if you want?" she suggested.

"I don't really want to get back on the meds. I'm managing. I'm getting enough sleep each night. Scouts honor. I promise, I learned my lesson. If it gets worse I'll come to you," I told her.

"Ok, I'll drop it for now. If it gets worse or if the depression starts getting unmanageable come to me immediately," she said sympathetically. Then smiled softly at me. "You know you're my favorite patient so I need you to try to keep your health up."

"Well I hope with all my frequent flyer miles in here with you, I would be," I joked. "I promise. If I start spiraling I will come to you. I actually almost called you a couple of weeks ago but I got myself back on track. I am trying."

"I know you are. It will all just take some time. I already know you're answer but I still think talking to someone might help. Even group therapy would."

"I don't need a shrink. I'm fine," I said pretending to be more annoyed then I really felt. I knew she was just trying to help. "I was actually just heading out though but I'll see you around?"

"I'm sure with your track record, especially if Dimitri's back in town, I'll see you sooner or later," she teased.

"Hey, we're adults now," I defended with a smile.

"Yea, now you can LEGALLY drink. I'd hate to see what you can break in a bar fight," she teased.

"Well luckily for you, Dimitri is now practically sober and I'm a little tamer than I used to be," I smiled. She looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "Geez! Can everyone do that but me! I said a little not a lot."

"I'll give you that. You have tamed down a LITTLE," she smiled. "I'll see you later Rose. Don't forget what I said."

"I won't. Thank you," I said going over and giving her a hug. Before turning down the hall back towards the elevators. "Bye doc."

"Bye Rose."

I made my way outside and to my car. I texted Dimitri that I was just going to the studio and he could drop Adrian off. I wasn't actually planning to record today so we wouldn't need Dimitri. When I got to the studio, they said they'd actually just had a cancellation so I went ahead and took the extra time today. I still didn't plan on recording but figured Adrian and I could use the time to practice or write. I just really wanted the alone time now.

I went into the studio and started playing softly. A few minutes after just playing at random, a melody from a song I wrote a while back started coming through before I even realized I was playing it. I finished the intro then started singing. I started softly but as the song progressed, got louder and stronger.

 **Grief is a Freight Train,  
Oh what's a little pain  
When you've got so much to Love.  
Grief is a Freight Train,  
Oh what's a little pain  
When you've got so much to Love.**

 **Forever is a slow dream  
Oh what a vivid thing  
When you've got so much to lose.  
Hope is a fast car  
Only takes you so far  
Boy, You've got a lot to learn**

 **Close your eyes  
Take to the Sky like a big blue Kite  
Leave your woes behind.  
Close my eyes  
Try to remember what they said to me,  
Before you say Good-bye.**

 **Love is a slow song  
Playing on the Radio  
I know every word by heart  
Happiness is soft light  
That we see our lives by  
Only fading to the dark**

 **Close your eyes  
Take to the Sky like a big blue Kite  
Leave your woes behind.  
Close my eyes  
Try to remember what they said to me,  
Before you say Good-bye.**

"So, you had a baby." 

**Song used: 'Freight Train' by Sara Holman Jackson**


	18. Chapter 17 You think I'm cute

**I have a feeling everyone is about to hate me…if you don't already! I promise the next chapter will not take even half as long to post. I actually already have it completed along with most of chapter 19.**

 **Small warning this chapter does have a good amount of cursing so if that offends you I'm sorry.**

 **As always please leave a review, I've been stressing about this chapter and the next couple so any thoughts on it would be GREATLY appreciated.**

 **Oh side note, I was not able to fix my computer so I had to get a new BUT, they sent me my hard drive back and my dad's friend from work was able to transfer all of my files onto my new computer so I have all of the chapters I had saved beforehand. A few of them (including this one) I'd rewritten so now I'm going through and trying to merge them so maybe they'll come out even better than before!**

 _ **Rose 16 Dimitri 18**_

 _"Is anyone here?" I called out entering the house. I saw Stan's car but was praying he'd already passed out._

 _"Kitchen," he called. He didn't sound happy. I silently groaned knowing this could get ugly._

 _"I didn't know you were coming home today," I said trying to be nice as I walked into the kitchen._

 _"Apparently," he sneered. I entered and saw him sitting at the almost empty table. All except for his glass of whiskey. "Do you see this?"_

 _"What?" I asked already fearing where this was going._

 _"Exactly. You're supposed to be here when I get here and you're supposed to be making dinner, not out whoring around!" he said angrily._

 _"I wasn't. There was a baseball game and then we went to grab a bite to eat afterwards. I came home right after. It's not even my curfew yet."_

 _"Keep lying. I know you were out with that boy," he said grabbing his glass and taking a big drink._

 _"Dimitri? Yea he was there. He's on the team. He did go out to eat with us," I said not admitting that we were dating._

 _"Pathetic. You're going to end up just like your mother. What a waste."_

 _"Do you want me to make you something to eat? I didn't know you were here or else I would have come home," I said trying to ignore what he was saying._

 _"I'm not hungry," he growled._

 _"Of course not," I mumbled._

 _"What was that?" he snapped standing up._

 _"Nothing sir," I said softly._

 _"Were you just back talking me?" he said coming around the table towards me. I took a careful step backwards._

 _"No sir."_

 _"Don't you dare lie to me!" he yelled. "First you don't come home like you're supposed to. Then you have that boy drop you off. Yea I saw that. Then you have the indecency to smart off to me? Not in this house hold."_

 _"What do you care what I do? It's not like you're ever here!" I retorted before I could stop myself. He went to slap me but I used one of the defensive tactics Dimitri had showed me and blocked it. His jaw dropped in shock. "Yea I've learned a few new tricks. Don't try that again."_

 _"Go to your room!" he shouted in my face._

 _"Gladly!" I shouted back running in the hallway and up the stairs. I checked my phone and saw Dimitri had texted me. I locked my door, turned the light off and laid down in bed facing the wall then texted him back._

 _ **Dimitri: How'd it go?**_

 _ **Dimitri: Is everything ok?**_

 _ **Rose: Hey sorry, everything went fine. He was already passed out when I got home. Night, love you :)**_

 _I lied to him not wanting to get into it tonight. I knew he was worried but I didn't want to talk about it. Just my luck though, a few minutes later I heard my window slowly open, luckily not making much noise. I shook my head knowing I should have expected it. I laid there waiting for him to make his way over to the bed._

 _"I said I was going to bed," I whispered._

 _"Yea but I know he wasn't asleep," he whispered back coming and sitting behind me on the bed. I rolled onto my back and looked at him._

 _"How'd you know that?" I asked._

 _"I parked down the street just in case. I saw when you're light came on. I knew you weren't downstairs by yourself for 15 minutes," he smiled sheepishly. "Then when you lied I figured it was pretty bad."_

 _"No worse than usual," I shrugged. He reached down and moved my hair out of my face. "You're a creepy stalker by the way."_

 _"No just a worried boyfriend," he smirked. "You ok?"_

 _"No but I will be," I smiled softly._

 _"Did he get physical?" he asked. I shook my head no. I rolled towards him and patted the space beside me. He took his shoes off and laid beside me. I laid my head on his chest as he ran his hands through my hair softly. "I hate this."_

 _"Well I don't really enjoy it either," I teased, knowing what he meant._

 _"Why don't you tell your mom so she can get rid of him for good?" he asked._

 _"Because I tried telling her. You know that, and she didn't believe me. Plus, he's gone 95% of the time. I can handle him the few times he's here. I mean even if he is an asshole, he's still my father and it's not like he hits me or anything. He just gets drunk and gets mean. I can handle it."_

 _"I know you can, but you shouldn't have to," he said softly._

 _"Well that's the way the cookie crumbles," I smiled._

 _"Shut up," he half laughed getting my Bruce Almighty reference._

 _"He tried to hit me," I admitted. I felt him tense up. "He didn't. I used the self-defense moves you showed me and stopped him. One of these days I'm going to figure out why my father hates me so much."_

 _"He hates himself Roza. Some people are just born horrible and he's one of them. It's not about you," he said softly into my hair._

 _"Sure feels like it's about me," I muttered._

 _"I know love, but it's not. You don't deserve the way either one of them treat you but especially not him. You deserve the best in life."_

 _"I can't wait until I go off to college and then it's me and you against the world. We can make our own family and our kids will know we love them every minute they're alive."_

 _"Oh yea?" he asked I could hear the smile in his voice. "How many kids are we having?"_

 _"I don't know it depends on how they act. If they're like me, I think we can only handle two at most. If they're like you then I say at least 3 or 4. Then again even if they're like me, you're going to be a superstar and I'm going to be a world renowned softball star so we can hire nannies. And I say nannies because we'll probably go through a lot!"_

 _"If they're like you they'll be a handful but no moment will ever be dull and we'll always be smiling."_

 _"Yea we will," I said wistfully. "I love you comrade."_

 _"I love you too Roza. Get some sleep. I'll stay until you fall asleep," he whispered._

 _"You'll get in trouble. You're already past curfew," I said worriedly._

 _"I'll tell her he came home. That's all she'll need to know and I'll be off the hook. She worries about you too."_

 _"I don't know what I did to deserve you and your family. You're all too good to me," I said sadly. He slid down in the bed and turned to where we were face to face but he was still holding me._

 _"You're too good for us, especially me. You are worth everything and more," he said lovingly. Even in the dark I could see the love shining in his eyes. It made my eyes water but I held it back. He leaned in and kissed me softly. The kiss slowly turned more heated as Dimitri leaned over me as I rolled onto my back. He cupped my cheek as I wrapped my arms around his chest and pulled him towards me to where he was practically laying on me. After a few minutes Dimitri pulled away he looked down at me with a small smile._

 _"As much as I'd love to continue this, Stan is downstairs and I'd really like to not have to fight him and you need sleep," he said before leaning down and kissing me on the forehead as he stroked my cheek with his thumb. No matter how stan treated me, Dimitri always made me feel so special, safe and protected. I leaned up and kissed him softly on the lips one more time before he turned back on his side so we were face to face again. He wrapped his arms around me as I buried my head in the hollow of his neck._

 _"Night comrade," I said quietly._

 _"Good night my Roza," he whispered back._

 **Present:**

"So when are you going to tell Dimitri about it?" Adrian asked as I whipped around in shock.

"How the hell do you know?" I accused.

"Hey calm down Little Red, I figured it out. That first night at the bar and at the studio you would say stuff like things happened or there's too much that's happened and every time your hands would go to your stomach like a pregnant woman. So I just kind of put the pieces together. Then your reaction at the hospital yesterday confirmed it. I realized it must have been Dimitri's and you never told him."

"Why'd you assume he was Dimitri's not someone else's?" I asked realizing he was right, my hands were on my stomach even now.

"Because I know you. Well I don't but, I do. You aren't that kind of girl. So why didn't you tell him?"

"I wanted to. I found out the day he left and I knew if I told him then he'd never leave so I planned to tell him that night after he got settled and everything. Then he was too tired to talk, and after that it was a whole lot of him being too busy and me not getting the nerve. Then it was too late," I told him the tears coming down. Outside of most of the Belikovs and Lissa and Mason, I've never talked about it.

"So why not tell him now?" he asked coming to sit by me.

"Because it will only hurt him," I said bluntly, tired of this conversation.

"And the real reason?" he questioned knowingly. I looked at him. He shrugged. "I have a very uncanny way of knowing how to read people. It's almost like a sixth sense or something. I can't really explain it but It's almost like I can see or even feel the emotions coming off of people."

"I AM worried that it will only hurt him more and I am not wrong when I say it's almost better if I don't tell him because if I do then he will only feel guilty and blame himself. While some days I blame him too, deep down I know that there was nothing he could do to change or fix things. He won't see it that way though," I explained. He looked at me expectantly like he knew there was more. As I talked, I stood up and started pacing, throwing my hands up as I stood. "Fine! If I tell him now he will hate me forever and he deserves too but right now I hate myself too much to have him hate me too. I wouldn't survive it. There you happy? I'm incredibly selfish!"

"Red, I know we haven't known each other very long but selfish is one of the absolute last things I would call you. You're scared and that's normal"

"I killed him Adrian," I said softly coming back to sit down beside him. I put my head in my hands as the tears flowed faster. "I didn't tell Dimitri about him to begin with and then I killed him. Dimitri is going to hate me and I can't handle the thought of that. Obviously, he doesn't love me anymore and even though that kills me, I can handle it. To know that he's going to hate me one day, that is indescribable. So yes, I am incredibly selfish."

"Red, you did not kill your baby," he said softly. "You're not selfish and he's not going to hate you."

"How do you know?" I demanded, looking up at him but still leaning on my elbows.

"Because I've met you. I've seen how fiercely protective you are of the ones you love. I know without a doubt that you loved that baby and did everything you could to protect it. It's not in your nature to do anything differently. I don't need to know details. I know you and so does Dimitri. From what I've seen he probably knows you better than most. And I've seen the way he looks at you. Yea you fight but, he loves you and you love him."

"If only it was that easy," I said shaking my head. "Even if it wasn't my fault, even though it was, he's still going to hate me for not telling him. I don't blame him because I would hate me too. Plus, things have only gotten more…difficult and complicated."

"He deserves to know," he said rubbing my back softly.

"I know. But I am right about everything else too," I defended. "He is going to blame himself and feel guilty and heartbroken."

"You are but, even if it hurts him he deserves to know whatever happened," he said.

"Ugh! Can you please go back to flirting? All this seriousness is seriously creeping me out!" I exclaimed trying to lighten the mood. I didn't really want to talk about this anymore and I was tired of being reminded of it every two seconds.

"I'm just saying, I'm here if you need me," He said sincerely before cracking a grin. "Now, want to work on our song where I profess my undying love for you? It should cheer you up a little."

"You do not!" I said trying to push the conversation behind me. "MAJOR exaggeration!"

"No its just about how I don't want to live without you!" he teased as he stood and started towards the sound booth with his bag.

"Yea, we'll pretend that it's about me. Just like we'll pretend it's about you," I joked back. he stopped and faced me.

"Wait…it's not? You're not singing about me?" he asked pretending to be shocked and hurt.

"Yes Adrian I am singing every word about you!" I laughed pushing him into the sound booth. "Just plug it in."

"Ok. Ok I'm plugging it in," he said pulling out the laptop it was saved on and plugging it into the board. I put the wireless headphones on. "Hold on I have to go through a few different ones to find the right one."

"Hey wait, what was that last song?" I asked.

"It's just a beat I've been playing with. It doesn't have any lyrics. I don't even know what I'm going to do with it."

"Can you play it again? I might have some to go with it…"

An hour later Adrian and I had the beginnings of what could potentially be a great song. Adrian had messed with the beat as I tweaked lyrics here and there to fit. He even jumped in with a few lyrics and added some things to it. Somehow, he'd worked his magic and managed to put me in a better mood. The sadness, guilt, hatred and everything else was still there like always but I managed to push it to the back of my mind for a while. Something that over the past few weeks I've found just a little easier to do than before.

"I didn't know you could produce?" I asked amazed.

"I've picked up on it over the years. I'm going to try and co-produce on my next album. You learn a lot after making so many albums," he shrugged. "Ready to go give it a try?"

"Yep," I said standing up and grabbing the headphones. I walked into the studio and grabbed the mic. We were going to record a rough copy and show it to Dimitri later.

"Ready?" he asked. I nodded. "You give me the countdown."

"1, 2," then I pointed at him for 3 as I started singing. Unfortunately for me almost as soon as I started to sing, Dimitri walked through the door. He didn't say anything but stood in front of the door listening. Adrian turned and acknowledged him but they didn't say anything to each other.

 **If you're looking for love  
Know that love don't live here anymore  
He left with my heart  
They both walked through that door without me  
If you're trying to find pity well, you need to look somewhere else  
'Cause I surely can't help you  
I'm hurting myself  
I've turned into someone else**

I used to believe love conquered all  
'Cause that's what I've seen in movies  
Come to find out it's not like that at all  
You see real life's much different

After about thirty seconds I got tired of singing in front of Dimitri so I closed my eyes and tried to just relax into the music. Even though this song has sad lyrics, the beat and tempo makes it a really fun song to sing. I tried to relax into the song and just enjoy it for a minute.

 **I don't wanna see you go  
I only wanna see you smile  
It hurts so much just thinking of  
Felt like this for awhile  
I can't stand to see us fail  
We tried, we lied  
Cannot pretend to take us back  
To what we had, to make us feel alive again  
Hold me close, don't let me go, I hope  
Tell me now its not the end**

If you're looking for love  
Know that love don't live here anymore  
He left with my heart  
They both walked through that door without me  
If you're trying to find pity well, you need to look somewhere else  
'Cause I surely can't help you  
I'm hurting myself  
I've turned into someone else

For the next line and verse, I did open my eyes and sing it to Dimitri.  
 **  
I've turned into someone else**

I used to believe love conquers all  
'Cause that's what I felt when you held me  
I thought you'd catch me if I fall  
And fill me up when I'm empty

I don't wanna see you go  
I only wanna see you smile  
It hurts so much just thinking of  
Felt like this for awhile  
I can't stand to see us fail  
We tried, we lied  
Cannot pretend to take us back  
To what we had, to make us feel alive again  
Hold me close, don't let me go, I hope  
Tell me now its not the end

If you're looking for love  
Know that love don't live here anymore  
He left with my heart  
They both walked through that door without me  
If you're trying to find pity well, you need to look somewhere else  
'Cause I surely can't help you  
I'm hurting myself  
I've turned into someone else

For this part I looked at Adrian and smiled. He had convinced me to add this part in and it quickly became my favorite part of the song. He grinned and gave me a thumbs up for encouragement. As the beat built up Adrian messed around throwing his arms up like he was a conductor. I rolled my eyes but laughed anyways.

 **Love is patient  
Love is selfless  
Love is hopeful  
Love is kind  
Love is jealous  
Love is selfish  
Love is hopeless  
Love is blind**

 **Love is patient  
Love is selfless  
Love is hopeful  
Love is kind  
Love is jealous  
Love is selfish  
Love is hopeless  
Love is blind**

 **Yeah, yeah  
Ooh, yeah  
I've turned into someone else**

"That was amazing!" Adrian exclaimed as the music died down at the end.

"Want to tell me what that was?" Dimitri asked looking upset. I made my way into the booth as he was talking. "I don't believe anyone said anything about working on a new song today."

"Well the studio happened to have some spare time so we were planning on practicing the duet. But, Adrian was going through the music trying to find ours when he accidentally played this one and I realized I had some lyrics that fit it and well out came this song. We were recording it so we could show it to you later. He's actually a pretty good producer. Why are you here?"

"Sonya was released so mama took her and Karo home. Tasha decided to fly here as a surprise visit so I'm about to head out and pick her up from the airport but I had a few minutes to spare so when Adrian said you two were still here I decided to come check things out. I'm glad I did since you two are recording without a producer and not working on what you're supposed to be."

"Relax Dimitri, it was only one small recording so we could show you later. We figured you'd want to hear it when we told you about it," Adrian said obviously annoyed at Dimitri's attitude.

"You shouldn't have been working on anything separately. You need to be working on your duet so we can get it finished as soon as possible. IF you wanted to work on something else you should be focusing on the duet album not Rose's solo album."

"Well at least today I know who pissed in your cheerios," I smarted off.

"And who's that because I know you're not going to hold yourself accountable for it," he said angrily. At that Adrian stood up.

"This feels like something between you two. I'm going to go take a smoke break," Adrian said walking out the door.

"So whose fault is it, if it's not yours?" Dimitri asked smartly.

"I'd be pretty annoyed too if I thought I had escaped my bitchy girlfriend only to have her follow me," I retorted pissed that he was so angry for no reason.

"Of course, blame Tasha for no reason what so ever," he said rolling his eyes. "That's low Rose. Can you quit being a bitch for 5 whole minutes?"

"Yea I can, when you stop being an ass!" I half-yelled back.

"I'm only being an ass because you were here screwing around while we're under a deadline!"

"Oh you and I both know that's not the reason. We both know there was nothing we could do without you with us. So if you're not pissed off about her, then what is it? Pissed off that Adrian and I created a great song without you?"

"Oh wow! Hit the nail on the head didn't you?" he said sarcastically. "I told you I'm pissed because-"

"We're on a deadline. I know!" I exclaimed cutting him off. "It's not like we planned to come in here and record without you. You're acting like somehow by recording a demo without you here, we cheated on you or something."

"We don't have time to waste on other measly projects."

"Are you trying to say my solo album isn't important? Because this duet album is solely to benefit both of our next solo albums."

"No, I'm just saying it can wait. There's no dates for it yet. We need to focus on the stuff we have deadlines for."

"We weren't even planning on recording vocals today. We couldn't have without you. We were just going to practice, we can do that later. So calm the hell down."

"You still could have used this time to practice instead."

"So what are you actually mad about? That we 'wasted time', that we did this without you here, and made a damn good song on our own without you, or is it because of what the song is about?" I asked angrily.

"Whatever, I have to go. Your times almost up anyway. Next time work on what you're supposed to be working on," he said going back over to the door.

"That is it, it's because you think it's about you and it pissed you off." I said with a bitter smile.

"No that's not why I'm ticked off. Even if it was, it's not like I'd be wrong," he smarted.

"Got a big enough head there? Look I'm sorry we pissed you off, if you hate the song that bad you could just say so but next time you don't have to be such an ass about it!" I yelled as I stormed passed him and out the door. I blew past Adrian in the hallway and he turned to follow me out front. As I got out front I turned towards Adrian.

"God he is such an ass! As if it's not enough that Viktoria is mad at me and literally locking me out then his other sisters and I get in an argument, all over him. Now he's pissed at me too! He's unbelievable! We just created an amazing new song and he's mad about it?" I yelled before quieting down. "Remember what you said yesterday and earlier. Yea I think that just proved you wrong!"

"Or it proved me right. Maybe he's just jealous cause he didn't help you with it and I did," he smirked. I rolled my eyes about the same time Dimitri came out the front door. Adrian quickly spoke up. "Hey red, why don't you go start the car while I go grab my computer and we'll head back to Baia."

"Sounds great!" I said glaring at Dimitri looked like he was about to say something but I quickly turned around and headed for the car. I hollered back at him. "Tell Tasha I said hi!"

I climbed in the car and waited for Adrian. I texted Lissa and she told me I could go pick AJ up from daycare while she finished her classes. I told Mason I would call him when I got to Lissa's so he could come meet us. By then Adrian was climbing back into the car.

"Better?" he asked with a smirk.

"If you mean do I still want to strangle him? No. But I am still angry," I said starting the car and heading back towards Baia.

"Hey you should take it as a good sign. Like I said, it looks to me like he's just jealous. I would be too if I was him and the love of my life was working with me," he said with a grin.

"First of all, not the love of his life, he's going to go pick up his girlfriend from the airport as we speak. Secondly, he's not jealous. Third, he would have no need to be jealous of you and me cause we're just friends."

"Yea but he doesn't know that. All he sees is me flirting with you constantly and you going along with it. How is he supposed to know that there's nothing going on between us? Especially when we go behind his back and create a brilliant new song without him."

"It wasn't behind anyone's back!" I exclaimed.

"Well you know what I mean. Without him, which he took as going behind his back," Adrian explained.

"He's an ass. An arrogant, stubborn, big headed, idiotic ass!" I exclaimed.

"Tell me how you really feel," he smirked.

"Now is not the time for you to be cute," I snapped.

"You think I'm cute?" he teased. I couldn't help but smile softly at that one.

"Shut up!" I exclaimed smiling at him. "I'm pissed right now!"

"Are you? Cause it looks like you're smiling," he remarked with a cocky grin.

"That's cause you're annoying," I laughed.

"But, you just said I'm cute."

"No, I said now's not the time to be cute," I said

"Ok so you're telling me if the role was reversed and it was you and Sydney, you would be an ass like this to her?" I asked.

"First of all, Dimitri and I are two completely different people and handle things completely different. If it was me and Sydney and I thought she might be into some other guy and I had to work with the both of them, I wouldn't handle it half as well as Dimitri has. I mean I probably wouldn't be an ass to her but instead, I would be drinking and partying a lot more than I do now. That's the way I deal with things. You and Dimitri from what I've seen and heard, you fight. Even Olena was telling me this morning how you two have fought your entire life."

"Why were you talking to Olena about me and Dimitri?" I questioned.

"She was asking me what it's been like for me working with both of you. I told her it's been very entertaining…well except the last two weeks."

"Ok since my non-existent love life is being talked about so much can I ask you a question?"

"You're going to no matter what I say so you might as well," he sighed.

"You learn so well. Ok how come you're all about pushing me into Dimitri's arms after you know a lot of the issues and reasons why I say no yet, you won't even attempt to get back with Sydney?"

"Because I think you and Dimitri would be great for each other. I'm no good for Sydney."

"Oh come on Adrian, you seriously cannot believe that? You are a great guy. You encouraged her to pursue her dreams and tried to help her. It's not your fault that she waited until after you broke up to listen."

"We'll just agree to disagree. I think she's better off without me and I'm fine with my life the way it is," he said seriously. By then we were coming close to the Belikovs side of town so I changed subjects.

"Ok so Lissa has asked me to go pick up her son from daycare and she and I are going to hang out for a while. Do you want to come along or do you want me to drop you off at the house or what?"

"Go ahead, have your girl time. I don't need to follow you around everywhere…unless you want me following you," he smirked.

"Ew creeper!" I laughed. "After that I am dropping you off at the house!"

"Just saying, if you're into that," he winked as I pulled up to the house.

"Ugh! Get out of the car!" I laughed. He climbed out and turned to look back at me before shutting the door.

"Have fun little red," he grinned before shutting the door. As he turned to walk away I rolled the window down.

"Hey!" I called after him. He turned to look at me. "Want to go hit the town tonight? It's a small town but maybe you can still find some trouble to get into. Plus I'm sure you'd have fun with Lissa and Mason."

"Yea sounds great!" he nodded. "Text me later."

"I'm going to warn you now I doubt I stay here tonight," I told him. I wasn't about to spend the night in the same house as Tasha.

"I understand," he nodded.

"I told him that must be why he's in a bad mood. He called me a bitch."

"Well you are," he teased leaning in the window.

"Nobody asked your opinion," I said annoyed. He laughed. "Ass."

I put the car back in drive and he turned and made his way toward the house. I pulled my phone out and searched for the number I was looking for.

"Hey Alberta! It's Rose, I have an idea and I was wondering if you could help me out. It's about Adrian."


	19. Chapter 18 Diners and Diva's

**So because I love you all I decided to go ahead and post another update! I'm not going to lie, you probably won't wait longer than a week for the next one either because it's already done and I love it! This chapter and the next (and if we're honest probably quite a few more) have a lot of Tasha and her snarkiness but I promise there are some good moments coming too!**

 **I am thinking about doing another DPOV soon because I feel like a lot of people are very upset with him right now but there is a reasoning behind the madness, I promise.**

 **In response to a question by a reviewer that I wasn't able to message back: Yes, I am going to continue Insta Fame but I had/have writers block with that one because I've been so focused on this one, maybe soon I can go back and try to get another chapter going for it soon. I actually have one typed out but I wasn't very happy with it so maybe now that so much time has passed I can return to it.**

 **I hope you like this story and this chapter. If you do or if you don't please leave a review and let me know, preferably logged into an account and not as a guest so I can respond because I do try to respond to all reviews! Even if you leave one as a guest I'll be happy though! I LOVE feedback. Good and bad.**

 _ **Rose 17 Dimitri 19**_

 __ _"You know how I can tell you really love me?" I teasingly asked Dimitri. We were sitting on my couch watching the 'Ps. I love you'. He was sitting on the end of the couch and I was laying down with my head in his lap. It was Sunday so we decided to have a movie day at my house._

 _"How?" he asked._

 _"Because you're letting me watch this sappy chick flick and haven't made fun of me yet," I smiled turning on my back and looking up at him._

 _"The key word is yet," he smirked. "Just wait until you start crying."_

 _"I don't cry," I told him smugly._

 _"Oh really?" he asked with a teasing smile._

 _"Nope never," I lied with a grin. He started tickling me._

 _"Never? Really?" he asked as he was tickling me. I laughed and tried to sit up to get away but instead he grabbed me and pulled me onto his lap. Now I was stuck against the arm of the couch and Dimitri with his arms caging me in as he tickled me. I half-squealed, half-laughed as he continued. After a minute or two he stopped and I tried to catch my breath from the laughter._

 _"Jerk," I mumbled still smiling as I fake slapped his chest._

 _"At least I'm not a liar," he retorted._

 _"I plead the fifth," I smiled._

 _"Do you even know what the fifth is?" he asked._

 _"Something about not incriminating yourself," I told him happy I somewhat knew the answer._

 _"Wow I'm surprised," he smirked. I half glared at him. I was too happy to actually be mad. "I do though."_

 _"Do what?" I asked confused._

 _"Really love you," he answered in reference to my earlier remark._

 _"You better," I fake threatened._

 _"Or else what?" he smirked._

 _"OR else I'll get my other boyfriend to kick your ass," I joked._

 _"Other boyfriend?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. "I think me and you need to have a talk if you've got other men in your life."_

 _"Hey a girls gotta have options," I teased._

 _"You don't need options, you have me," he said sternly but with humor in his eyes. I smiled broadly._

 _"Yes I do have you," I told him leaning up and kissing him._

 _"I KNEW IT YOU LITTLE SLUT!" came a voice from behind me. I jumped and quickly turned, almost falling off of dimitri's lap, to find Stan standing in the doorway._

 _"Shit," I hissed as I jumped off of Dimitri's lap and stood up._

 _"Yea you fucked up major this time," Stan said pointing a finger at me._

 _"It's not what it looks like. We're just watching movies," I said knowing it was futile._

 _"Well it looked like you were over there whoring around!" he half-yelled._

 _"Hey now, there's no reason for that," Dimitri sad from beside me. He had stood up when I did but it hadn't really registered until now._

 _"YOU GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Stan yelled at him._

 _"Not until you calm down and I know Rose is going to be safe around you," Dimitri told him stepping in front of me._

 _"What the hell did you just say? I said get out!" he said coming towards us._

 _"WAIT!" I yelled stepping in front of Dimitri. "Dimitri I think it's best if you go."_

 _"I'm not leaving you with him like this," he said sternly._

 _"You're going to make it worse," I whispered. "Just go."_

 _"Listen to the whore you little shit," Stan said._

 _"Don't you dare talk to her like that," Dimitri said menacingly. This was quickly getting out of hand._

 _"I'll talk to her however I want. She's my daughter," he said like he was disgusted by that fact._

 _"Then fucking act like it," Dimitri retorted._

 _"Dimitri stop!" I hissed._

 _"Look here you asswipe. Go back to the shack you call home and get out of my FUCKING HOUSE!"_

 _"Stan!" I gasped. "Dimitri just please go."_

 _"No." he said not budging._

 _"You little shit!" Stan said coming towards us. I jumped in the middle._

 _"STOP!" I yelled putting my hands up. Stan reared back to hit me as Dimitri pulled me out of the way. His arm swung out and he knocked Stan down in one punch. He leaned down and grabbed his collar pulling him a few inches off the ground._

 _"You ever take a swing at or ever physically harm her again, I will beat the living shit out of you," Dimitri threatened. "Don't you ever, EVER raise a hand to her again or you will be answering to me and the police. We're going to leave now and you are going to leave Rose alone while you're here and she will come back when you're gone."_

 _"Dimitri," I cried softly not even sure why I was crying. He stood up to full height and stepped over stan to me. I had fallen when Dimitri threw me out of the way but hadn't gotten back up. he reached out and helped me up and pulled me close to him._

 _"You ok?" he asked softly. I just nodded still crying. He led me around stan who was still on the floor holding his nose and towards the door. He held me close as we walked outside and over to his truck. He held the door open for me and gestured inside._

 _"I don't know if I should leave," I said worriedly._

 _"Roza if you don't then I'm going to stay here with you and he's likely to get even worse. Just come with me and let him calm down. You can stay at the house or with Lissa until he leaves but you need to be far away from him," he said sincerely looking down at me moving my hair out of my face. I nodded in agreement knowing he was right. If I went back in there without Dimitri it's likely he would take his anger out on me, if Dimitri came in with me it would anger him more and make things worse._

 _"Ok lets go," I said softly climbing into his truck. He shut the door behind me and walked around to the other side. I turned to the house and saw Stan glaring out the window with pure hatred in his eyes. I shivered and scooted closer to Dimitri as he wrapped and arm around me and drove off._

 **Present:**

I made my way over to Lissa's and grabbed her spare car seat before heading over to the daycare. Luckily Lissa had a chance to call them and let them know I'd be picking AJ up early and had permission. Aj came around the corner just as I was done signing him out.

"AJ!" I exclaimed. He waddled over to me as fast as his little legs allowed him to as I bent down. I wrapped him in a hug as he clung to me.

"Aunty Rose!" he squealed in my ear. I tousled his bright blonde hair as he pulled back.

"Did you miss me?" I asked. He nodded enthusiastically. "Want to go hang out with me?"

"Can I have ice cweam?" he asked.

"I think we can do that," I laughed standing up, picking him up with me. The day care lady handed me his back pack.

"Thank you," I told her turning and heading out the door. I buckled him into his seat and got in myself.

"How does Mickey D's sound?" I asked referring to McDonalds.

"Yay!" he practically screamed.

When we got there I quickly ordered and we made our way to the play area.

"Real food first, then ice cream," I told him setting him down in the booth. He pouted but nodded. I pulled his food out and got him some ketchup to go with his nuggets and fries. We ate pretty quickly with me asking him questions about his daycare and stuff he did today. Then we went up and got some ice cream.

"Don't tell mommy. This is Aunty Rose and Aj's secret ok?" I told him knowing it was futile, he was going to tell her immediately when he saw her.

"Secret!" he whispered seriously nodding his head. I smiled at him. When he finished, I let him go play, unfortunately he was still at the age where he needed help in some of the tunnels so I chased him in and out of them for about thirty minutes before I decided to call it a day and head back to Lissa's. we pulled in about the same time Lissa did. She quickly jumped out of her car and ran to hug me. I laughed at her enthusiastic reaction.

"You know your kid's still in the car," I joked. She pulled away and laughed.

"Sorry, I just missed you!" I opened the back door and heard him squeal "Mama!" I unbuckled him and pulled him out as she grabbed his backpack.

"Hi baby, how was your day?" she asked as we walked in.

"I had ice cweam!" he exclaimed.

"That was a secret!" I said pretending to be serious as we walked into the house.

"Oh yea. No ice cweam," he said seriously shaking his head.

"What kind did you have?" she asked as she set her things down and we headed to the living room.

"Chowate!" he said happily in his cute little toddler accent.

"Sold me out again!" I laughed, sitting on the couch putting him on my lap. Lissa sat beside us as I turned to her to explain. "We went to McDonalds, I did have him eat first."

"Gee thanks," she teased.

"Hey, I'll be here, I can help with the sugar high," I placated.

"You will be dealing with it yourself," she smiled. At that he climbed off of my lap and heading to the toy chest in the corner.

"Come play wiff me!" he told me.

"How can I say no?" I shrugged to Lissa as I went over to him.

Forty-five minutes later, Lissa had showered and I was exhausted.

"How's it going?" she asked with a smirk seeing me laughing on the floor with toys laid on my stomach and legs.

"Great!" I smiled. "Forgot how tiring little kids could be."

"Well lucky you it's time for his nap," she laughed. "Aj, nap time!"

"I don't wanna," he pouted. He looked so adorable with his blonde hair hanging over his forehead, bright green eyes all downturned, and his chubby cheeks sagging in a pout. I had to fight not to laugh.

"Hey buddy, why don't you go take a nap and we'll play some more when you wake up?" I suggested.

"Pwomise?" he asked hopeful.

"I promise," I smiled at him.

"Otay!" he exclaimed going over to Lissa. They went off to his bedroom as I put the toys back in the chest. When I was finished, Lissa was just getting back.

"Thirsty?" she asked. I nodded and she went and grabbed two waters out of the fridge.

"Did you go see the baby today?" she asked.

"Yea, they're home now. Though I think I'll be avoiding the Belikov house for a while," I groaned.

"Why?"

"Well Viktoria is pissed I didn't tell her about Dimitri so I was supposed to sleep in there with her but she locked me out and won't talk to me. Sonya and Karolina aren't really mad at me about that anymore but they're mad because I haven't told him yet. Dimitri is pissed at me for who knows what! He tried saying it was because we recorded without him but I think it was something more than that. To top it all off, Tasha decided to surprise Dimitri and is on her way to town as we speak!"

"Oh wow," she said softly, taking it all in.

"Yea, I have no idea how I'm going to survive staying in the same house as her!" I said irritated.

"Please no fights," she laughed. I rolled my eyes.

"I'll try my hardest," I told her.

"So things aren't going well with him?" she asked.

"Ugh! So I told you about my meltdown at the bar that night. Well for the next two weeks he just stopped talking to me at all really. He would only talk about music and lyrics. Wouldn't ask about any of the songs or really show any emotions. Then Sonya went into labor so we all rushed here. On the plane he practically told me that he figured it'd be easier on me if we focused on work because of my breakdown. I told him he didn't have to take it to such extremes and we pretty much just both said we'd figure it out eventually. I haven't really talked to him since. I left him at the hospital with his family yesterday, when he showed up Paul got a hold of him and they hung out all night, then this morning we discussed plans for today before I got up and got ready for the day. No arguments or anything. Then Adrian and I go to the studio that just so happens to have some spare time today so we decide to practice our duet. Before we got that far though, Adrian played a beat that I liked and an hour later we had a song. Right as I went to record it so we could show Dimitri he shows up. When I was done singing he flips out and starts yelling that we shouldn't be working on my solo album and needed to just be practicing the duet. I explained what happened and he just kept yelling. I kind of also said that the real reason he was upset was because his bitchy girlfriend was on her way to town, which of course didn't help. Then finally I just stormed out."

"Well maybe he was right? Is your duet more important right now?" she asked softly.

"Yes but we've pretty much perfected it. All we have to do is record the vocals which we couldn't have done anyway without Dimitri. We already have the lyrics down and our harmonies are practically perfect so we didn't lose out at all by not working on it. He was just being an ass!"

"I don't know maybe he had a good reason? Plus I'm sure you calling his girlfriend that and saying it was her fault he was mad probably didn't help," she laughed. I shrugged.

"Well that's his fault for dating her. I'm not even dating her and I'm mad she's coming. He called me a bitch too!"

"Exactly, you're not dating her so you need to stop being so mean to her and let him make his own mistakes," she said. I looked at her and tried to raise an eyebrow but failed so she laughed at me. "What did _**you**_ call _**him**_?"

"When have you ever known me to sit back and let somebody I care about screw up their life without saying anything?" I asked rolling my eyes. "I might have called him an ass."

"Well there is a first for everything," she smiled. "Wait someone you care about? So you admit you still have feelings for him?"

"That is not what I said. Yes I still care about him, we grew up together he was my first love, I'll always want the best for him BUT that does not mean I still have feelings for him."

"Rose you and I both know that you two fight more than anyone on this planet. It's what you two are good at but it doesn't mean anything."

"Why does everyone keep reminding me that we've always fought? I know that, but now he's just an ass getting mad at stupid stuff, before he was just stupid."

"Because that made total sense," she smirked.

"Back then our fights were over silly meaningless stuff. They progressed into more of me hiding my feelings and taking it out on him and vice versa but they were always fights that at max lasted a week and hardly even that. Now these are serious fights that we don't make up from we just sweep under the rug."

"Well back then you were teenagers so you didn't have anything really serious to fight over. Now you're adults and everything is serious. Of course your fights are going to get worse. Especially with you keeping stuff from him and him keeping stuff from you."

"Ugh can we not go there. I've had this discussion three times in the last 24 hours. You can lecture me later but please not right now," I told her seeing the look in her eyes. "Adrian knows. He figured it out. I didn't tell him details. He just knows I had a baby and now I don't and Dimitri is the father."

"Wow. Are you ok with that?" she asked worried.

"Yes…no…I don't know but, he understands my need and want for privacy. He won't tell anyone. He gave me the lecture about telling Dimitri but understands why I haven't and don't know if I will. He's actually a pretty cool guy."

"Yea? Not at all like the party boy stereotype?" she asked genuinely curious.

"Well I mean yea he still parties. He likes to go out and have a good time. I don't think he's as much of a manwhore as everyone tries to portray him as. He has been a really good friend to me while I've been out there. He understands that there is nothing and never will be anything between us but he likes to flirt to make me laugh and to piss Dimitri off. He LOVES to flirt, with anyone," I laughed. "When you meet him just be aware of that. By the way, would you possibly be able to get a sitter tonight? I asked Adrian if he wanted to go hit the town so I thought maybe we could go swing by Charlies?"

"Yea I'm sure I can. I'll text the Aaron's mom now. She's been wanting to keep him. This is the perfect time then we'll have the whole night," she said pulling out her phone. I forgot I hadn't texted Mason yet so I pulled mine out as well and sent him a text. I had one from Adrian telling me the witch had landed, his words not mine.

"She said he can come over," Lissa said smiling as she set her phone down on the coffee table.

"Mason is on his way over," I said mimicking her and putting my phone down by hers. "And the witch has landed according to Adrian."

"He hates her too?" She asked.

"I'm telling you she's horrible. The first time I met her she started a fight with me telling me how Dimitri had never mentioned me before so I was a nobody to him and that he was upset about having to work with me, then accused me of just trying to steal him away from her. The second time she just insulted my singing. Oh and practically called me a whore. "

"Wow. Maybe you misunderstood her?" she said hopefully.

"I highly doubt that. You'll have to see what I mean for yourself. Enough about her though, how are things with you?"

"Well, the semesters almost over. So far I'm one of the top designers in my class so I applied for a position out in LA," she squealed. My jaw dropped.

"What?"

"Well I figure you're out there, and you're probably going to be out there for a while. There's nothing really keeping me and AJ here. Plus you know I've always wanted to leave Georgia. It's always been a goal to go work out in Hollywood or New York. Mason's going to follow you out there and I'm sure Viktoria will be out there before too long."

"If she even decides to start speaking to me again," I pointed out.

"Even if she doesn't she'll follow Dimitri. But she will!" she smiled.

"So this is real? You might be coming out to LA in May or June?" I asked. She nodded. I squealed and wrapped her in a hug, practically tackling her on the couch.

"What's this chick fest?" Mason asked from the doorway. I jumped up and hugged him too.

"Lissa is moving to LA!" I said excitedly.

"Really?" Mason asked her.

"Yep. If I get this job when I graduate," she said proudly.

"Which you will because you're an amazing fashion designer!" I told her dragging Mason over to the couch with us.

"Hopefully," she said wistfully.

"You will," Mason told her.

"Especially after you give me some of the outfits you told me you were making and I wear them publicly and tell everyone who made them!" I told her proudly.

"Only if they like them," she smiled.

"They will!" I told her laughing. I turned to Mason.

"Oh I told Adrian I would take him out on the town tonight so we're going to go hit up Charlies. Want to join? So far it's Liss, Adrian and I. I have a bad feeling though that somehow Dimitri and Tasha are going to show up or somehow going to get invited."

"You know I'm always up for Charlie's," he smirked. "Plus we need a rematch."

"Why so I can kick your ass again?" I teased.

"I've been practicing," he smirked.

"Mhmm," I placated. "So besides practicing, how have things been here with you?"

"Moms doing a lot better. She's going out with some girl friends from work, they've kept her busy with stuff to do in her spare time."

"That's good. I know your dad's passing was hard on her. I'm glad she's doing well. How are you?" I asked. He shrugged.

"I'm alright. Doing better every day."

"I know that feeling," I said softly putting my hand on his. Then I smiled. "You know what I think we need?"

"What?" Lissa asked warily.

"Reality Tv," I smiled. "I've been without cable for far too long. Plus what cheers you up better than watching stupid people on tv?"

"I second that," Mason Laughed. Lissa grabbed the remote as we all settled into the couch.

We spent the rest of the afternoon watching crap TV laughing and making fun of the people on TV. When Aj got up we all went and played with him and his toys. About 6 I decided to head back over to the Belikovs to get ready. We planned to go meet up at our favorite restaurant then head to Charlie's. Well Lissa was bringing AJ to the restaurant then taking him to his grandmothers.

"I'm back," I announced walking into the Belikov house.

"Aunty Roza!" Paul bellowed running into the room and hitting me with a hard hug. This time I was prepared and landed against the wall instead of on the floor.

"Hey Paulie, you just saw me this morning," I laughed.

"But it's been forever!" he said exaggerated.

"Yes it has," I laughed. "Where is everyone?"

"Kitchen. Well Dimka and his girlfriend are upstairs," he said wrinkling his nose in disgust as he said girlfriend.

"Be nice," I laughed.

"I don't like her," he said softly. "She's not you."

"Well I appreciate that buddy but we still need to be nice to her. Uncle Dimka really cares for her so we have to respect that," I told him hating myself for telling him that when I hated her even more than he does. I felt like a complete hypocrite.

"I am. I didn't tell HER I don't like her," he said seriously.

"Well that's a start," I chuckled. "Let's go to the kitchen."

In the kitchen, Olena, Karolina, Viktoria, and Sonya sat around the table.

"What's up guys?" I asked.

"Just chatting," Olena smiled up at me. Vika glared at me. Sonya and Karolina both smiled warmly.

"Ok. Well I was thinking I'm going to go stay over at Lissa's tonight. It's been a while so we decided to have a sleepover since she doesn't have classes until tomorrow after noon. We also are going to go to the diner and then to Charlie's if y'all want to come?" I offered knowing everyone's answers already.

"I think I'm going to just hang out with the kids at the house tonight but thanks for the offer," Karolina said before standing up. "Actually we should probably get going soon. Paul lets go get your stuff packed."

"Yea it's a pretty calm night for me too," Sonya chuckled as Karolina and Paul headed down the hall, surprisingly with no complaints from him. About then I heard the baby on the monitor. She stood up and headed for the hall as she said, "Well that's my cue."

"Vika, Why don't you go hang out with Roza and Lissa?" Olena asked Viktoria.

"I know you're mad at me but Mason and Adrian are also coming. You don't even have to speak to me," I smiled at her.

"Fine," she said reluctantly. "But not because of you!"

"Viktoria Belikova apologize right now!" Olena scolded.

"It's ok mama Belikova," I smiled sadly. "I'm going to get changed. I'll put my make up on in the bathroom so you can have the room all to yourself."

"Sounds good," she muttered. I turned and headed upstairs. As I hit the third step I heard Olena start scolding Viktoria in Russian.

An hour later I was dressed and ready wearing my favorite pair of jeans, with a dark gray almost black low cut t-shirt and my favorite leather jacket that I had stolen from Dimitri when he outgrew it. It still fit me perfectly. I had my long silver necklace with a locket and ring on it tucked under my shirt and put another silver necklace on that hung on my chest. It was just a cheap cute key that I had gotten from Wal-Mart in high school. I had done my make up with a soft brown smoky eye and some black eye-liner. I never quite figured out the cat eye so I just did a small line up top, enough to make my eyes pop a little. Then I added some reddish pink gloss. I grabbed my bag of clothes and stuff to take to Lissa's and headed downstairs.

"Vika, are you ready?" I asked heading into the living room. There stood Dimitri, Tasha, Viktoria, Adrian and a guy I don't know.

"Wow Red, you look hot!" Adrian smirked coming over towards me. I rolled my eyes at him.

"I hope you don't mind I invited Dimka and Tasha and her nephew Christian to go with us? He was planning on taking them out tonight anyways so I figured we might as well all go together," Viktoria smiled innocently. Tasha glared at me and I just avoided looking at Dimitri altogether.

"No, that's fine. The more the merrier," I said knowing probably everyone heard the false enthusiasm in my voice. I turned to the guy I didn't know and introduced myself. "Hi, I'm Rose."

"Christian. Tasha's nephew," he said with a smirk.

"Well nice to meet you," I said forcing a smile.

"Yea," he nodded.

"Ok, well is everyone ready?" I asked. "We'll have to take two cars because we don't have a vehicle big enough for everyone."

"I figured. Since we're going out I didn't think you'd want to ride in the bed of my truck," he smiled softly. I chuckled. When we were younger I always loved an excuse to ride in the bed of his truck because I loved it so much.

"Tempting but no, I think I'm good."

"It could fix your hair though," Tasha said sweetly like she was offering some advice. Dimitri turned and gave her a look. "What? It was just a suggestion."

"Thanks but I think I'm good. Ok well I figure I'll take Adrian with me, and you all can figure out the rest. One of you are going to have to also ride with me since the truck only fits 3," I told them.

"Not me," Viktoria said as fast as she could.

"Vika, I'm sure Christian would feel a lot more comfortable with his aunt and I than in a car of strangers. Why don't you ride with Roza and Adrian? Maybe he'll switch you on the way back?" Dimitri suggested.

"Ugh fine," she relented obviously annoyed.

"Ok now that it's settled, let's go," I said heading towards the door. Adrian followed behind me as Dimitri went to the kitchen to tell Olena we were leaving. Adrian actually went over and opened the driver side door for me. I laughed.

"Oh my how chivalrous," I teased.

"I can be when I want to be," he smiled.

"Gag," Viktoria said climbing in the backseat. I rolled my eyes.

"We'll still have a fun night. Promise," Adrian said quietly. "I'll help run interference."

"Thanks," I said softly.

"Are we going or what?" Viktoria complained. I got in the car and started it as Adrian went around and climbed in.

A few minutes later we were pulling into the main restaurant in town. Luckily it was a Thursday so it wasn't really busy. I had Adrian text Lissa from my phone to let her know about the new additions so she could get enough places at the table. When we arrived, Lissa and Mason were already sitting down. I ended up at the end across from Lissa with Aj at the actual end in a high chair. Adrian sat beside me then Viktoria and Mason. Tasha sat opposite of Viktoria and Dimitri sat beside her with Christian in between him and Lissa. Luckily the side I was on was a booth where the other side had actual chairs. After everyone met each other and were sitting down looking at the menu Lissa hid behind hers and signed to me 'he's cute' pointing to Christian. I laughed quietly and wrinkled my nose shaking my head no. He was cute but not my type with his black messy hair and bright blue eyes.

"Are you actually looking at the menu like you don't have it memorized?" Mason teased looking down at me.

"Hey it's been a while, I might try something new," I smiled sweetly at him pulling my head from behind the menu.

"Oh yea? Going to get something besides a burger?" Dimitri asked. This place was well known for it's burgers and shakes. As teenagers we would all come here and get burgers and shakes after school. I hadn't actually ate one of the burgers here in years though.

"I might," I said defiantly.

"Is there anything low carb or vegan?" Tasha asked disgustedly.

"There's salads," Dimitri suggested.

"Aj what do you want?" I asked turning towards him and ignoring Tasha.

"Grilled Cheese!" he said excitedly as he kept coloring on his paper.

"Cute kid," Adrian told Lissa. She smiled proudly.

"Thanks," she replied. About then the waitress came over and took our drink orders. When she walked away Christian turned to Lissa.

"How old is he?" Christian asked.

"Two," she said looking over at him sweetly.

"Where's his dad?" Tasha asked bluntly.

"Tasha!" Christian scolded as my jaw dropped. "That's her business."

"Just a question," Tasha said innocently.

"It's ok. He passed away. He was in the military," Lissa said with just a touch of sadness entering her voice.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Christian said sounding sincere.

"Yea me too," Adrian replied.

"Thanks," she said sweetly. I turned back to Aj as Lissa asked Christian a question.

"Watcha coloring buddy?" I asked.

"A dinosaur! See!" he said lifting his crayon up.

"Oh my goodness! I think that's the best dinosaur I've ever seen!" I told him.

"Weawwy?" he asked. I nodded my head. The waitress came and brought half the tables drinks and went back for the rest.

"Heck yes! I think that's refrigerator material!" I told him.

"Rose why don't you have any children?" Tasha asked from the end of the table. It seemed like an innocent enough question but coming from her it sounded like an insult. I paused before looking up. I felt Adrian's hand on my thigh in support, I put my hand over his as I smiled softly and shrugged.

"I don't know, guess I've just been too busy with work," I lied my throat burning as I said the words. I grabbed my water and took a few drinks hoping it would help.

"Just asking since you're so good with them. Dimitri's nephew wouldn't stop talking about you," she was smiling but still made it seem like an insult. "Plus he seems to adore you."

"Paul's a great kid so is Aj," I said emphasizing their names. "They make it easy to be around and it helps I've know them both since they were born, Zoya too. I'm good on my own though, I don't want kids. They keep me on my toes enough."

"Oh. What a shame," she said. Dimitri looked up shocked and confused, we had always discussed having a big family. I shrugged and looked back at my menu though I already know what I want.

"What about you Aunt Tasha? Why haven't you and Dimitri popped out any babies yet?" Christian asked her.

"And ruin this figure? No thank you," she said with a smile but I could see the horror in her eyes.

"I need to head to use the ladies room, I'll be right back," I said softly scooting out of the booth. I stood up and made my way to the bathroom trying not to let the sadness show on my face. When I got to the bathroom I put my hands on the sides of the sink and leaned into it bowing my head. I took a few breaths trying my hardest not to cry. Unfortunately, I was failing pretty hard as a tear trailed down my cheek followed by another. I heard the door open behind me and immediately stood up and wiped at my face. Luckily it was just Lissa.

"What are you doing in here? What about AJ?" I asked.

"There's a bunch of people out there including two that regularly babysit him, he's fine. The question is are you?"

"I'll be fine," I smiled sadly.

"That was so rude of her!" Lissa said angrily. "It's so rude to ask a woman that!"

"Liss, that was her being nice," I chuckled.

"Well that was uncalled for!" Lissa ranted.

"I told you she was a bitch!" I laughed.

"But her nephew is hot!" she smiled her cheeks turning red.

"He was pretty unsociable at the house but he seems to be nice to you. Just be careful you see who his aunt is. For all we know he's a complete asshole," I warned.

"I don't think so. He seemed pretty sincere about Aaron and he did scold her earlier."

"Then go for it but please be careful," I warned.

"Thanks," she smiled. "You better?"

"Yea, successful distraction technique," I smiled. Of course I was still upset about what Tasha had said but had enough control of it now I could lock it away for later.

"Well let's fix your make up then head back. Thank goodness for waterproof makeup," she laughed.

After I had touched up my makeup and had no signs that I'd been crying we headed back to the table. Adrian had scooted into my spot and was playing with Aj but he moved over when I climbed back in the booth. He raised an eyebrow at me silently asking if I was ok. I smiled at him.

"Has the waitress came to take orders?" I asked.

"Oh yea I forgot to tell you, Mark is working so I told her to make you the Rose special," Lissa laughed. About then Mark came out of the kitchen and over to our table.

"Well if it isn't my favorite group of trouble makers!" Mark laughed. I climbed out and hugged him as Lissa and Mason said their hellos.

"Hey Mark, how are you?" I asked.

"Oh you know me. I'm always good," he smiled. "How are you?"

"I'm good. Been starving out in LA without you and Olena around to cook for me," I joked. "Where's Oksana?"

"She's at home," he smiled.

"Oh well tell her I said I missed her! I'll try to stop by in the next few days."

"She'd love that. Now who are all of your new friends and one old friend I see," he said referring to Dimitri. He stood up and shook his hand.

"Nice to see you again," Dimitri told him.

"Glad to have you back son," Mark said shaking his hand. Then he looked at the rest of the table. "Oh wow, never cooked for so many celebrities before!"

"Have you ever cooked for a celebrity?" Mason asked with a grin.

"Yes, I cooked for our very own local celebrities of the state championship football team," he smiled broadly.

"Touche," Mason laughed.

"Mark this is Adrian, Tasha, and her nephew Christian," I introduced. He reached over and shook all of their hands.

"Nice to meet you all. I wish I could stay and chat longer but I have to go cook your food and make sure my helpers haven't burned the kitchen down," he joked before heading back into the kitchen. As I was sliding into the booth.

"You know the help here?" Tasha asked trying and failing to hide the disgust in her voice.

"Mark is a great man and he and his wife are very good friends with the Belikovs," I told her sharply. "He's not the help, he owns this restaurant and is one of the best cooks and nicest men I've ever met."

"Mark and Oksana came over from Russia around the same time my parents did so they became really good friends" Dimitri explained. About then the waitress brought me and Aj our milkshakes.

"Plus we've all been coming here pretty much our entire lives," Mason laughed. The waitress came back with our food at that point. She set Aj's down first then dished out everyone else's. I smiled when I saw my sandwich and fries. Mark and Oksana were one of the few people outside of the people I considered family that knew about the baby, mostly because Oksana had gone through something similar so Yeva thought she could help me. For a while after, I was hardly eating so Mark made me a chicken BLT with some orange cranberry sauce and wouldn't leave until I ate it. I fell in love with it so I would come in often to get one. Later I turned it into a half sandwich with cheese fries. It was supposed to be a seasonal item but he always saved a jar of the orange-cranberry sauce for me

"What's that?" Dimitri asked shocked.

"Told you I might change it up," I smirked. "It's a chicken BLT and cheese fries."

"That's a lot of carbs," Tasha said. I shrugged.

"Maybe but its delicious!" I smiled sweetly. Everyone started eating making small talk here and there. I noticed Aj wasn't eating and just playing, even though Lissa told him to stop playing and eat. My mouth was full so I tapped him on the shoulder and signed to him 'eat'. He shook his head so I signed 'please' and stuck my bottom lip out. He signed 'k' and put a bite of his cut up grilled cheese in his mouth. Lissa laughed and jumped on the sign train, signing 'glad he listens to you'. I smiled and signed back 'I'm his favorite' and stuck my tongue out at her jokingly.

"What are you two doing?" Adrian asked from beside me. I turned to see Dimitri, Tasha, and Christian staring at us. Viktoria and Mason were used to it.

"Uh signing," I laughed.

"You sign?" Dimitri asked.

"Yes, Aj was born deaf in one ear but has a cochlear implant so as long as he has it on he can hear fine but Lissa and I took signing classes and she's teaching him to sign," I explained.

"Oh wow, that's pretty neat," Christian nodded from beside Lissa. "Well not that he's half deaf but that you learned sign and teach it to him."

"That is impressive," Dimitri agreed. "Wait how did YOU learn sign? You hate stuff like that? Except curse words."

"Actually I hated Spanish. And somebody refused to teach me Russian though I have learned quite a bit of that too thank you! I actually really enjoy signing," I smiled. "It's a hard language but fun to figure out."

"That's because you only wanted to learn Russian curse words," he smiled.

"I can now curse in four different languages," I smiled proud of myself. Dimitri smiled but shook his head at me.

"That's awesome, Hot and bilingual. Jackpot!" Adrian teased.

"Shut up. I'm not bilingual. I know a little but Lissa knows a lot more than I do," I nodded to her with a smile.

"Still pretty hot," he winked. About then the waitress came over.

"Everything ok?" she asked we all nodded or said something in assurance. "Ok well how do you want the check? Do you want it all separate or on one?"

"You can put it all on one and bring it to me," Dimitri told her. She nodded and walked away.

"You don't have to buy our meals," I protested.

"I know, I want to though," he said. I shrugged and decided not to argue. After she brought the check and Dimitri paid we all decided to head out and make our way to Charlie's. Lissa and Aj left a few minutes earlier since she had to take AJ to his grandmothers. Vika decided to ride with Mason to Charlie's.

When we arrived Tasha's jaw dropped as everyone got out of their vehicles.

"A bowling alley! That's where we are going 'out' too?" she hissed to Dimitri.

"Yep. Not much to choose from here. I told you it was a small town," he explained.

"Hey charlie's is the best place in town. A little bit of everything for everyone," I smiled. Charlie's is a bowling alley with an arcade and a bar attached. As kids and teenagers, it was the hot spot to be. Now as adult we spend more time in the bar than the alley, playing pool and doing karaoke on certain nights. "Let's go!"


	20. Chapter 185 Volcano

**Happy birthday to me! Well not actually anymore cause it was the 10th and by the time you all are reading this it's the 12th but apparently I'm pulling a Lorelai Gilmore and having a birthday week because I decided to hurry up and try to get this added in for you all as an "it's my birthday" surprise! Obviously, I failed at getting it up by my birthday but this chapter was so hard for me to write. It's come to my attention that I've kind of made Dimitri out to be this horrible character when I didn't really mean to. I mean yes obviously, I didn't want him to be extremely likeable but I also didn't want him to be hated so much. Therefore, out came this chapter which will hopefully help a lot more in understanding his mindset.**

 **Also it took me two days to write it because I'm pretty sure I gave myself a concussion Saturday on a stationary bike and have had a pretty horrible headache off and on since. I'm a horrible klutz haha! Not looking for sympathy just thought I'd share to give you a laugh that I'm the idiot that gets their first concussion from a stationary bike. :)**

 **I did promise a few people that this chapter Tasha would be getting a little bit of payback but since I decided to add in this DPOV chapter I'm sorry to say you have to wait one more chapter but I promise it is pretty funny…at least to me…I would hope it's funny to me though since I wrote it…**

 **Anyway as an added bonus even the flashback is a DPOV! That was by accident cause I wrote this flashback after writing the present day so I kept writing in that POV and was halfway done before I realized I never switched but I think you'll enjoy it nonetheless!**

 **PLEASE leave a review to let me know what you think! Especially with this chapter because even now I'm not sure how I feel about it because it was such a pain to write.**

 **Hope you all enjoy!**

 **DPOV (Rose 16 Dimitri 18)**

" _So I have a question?' Roza asked me as we were sitting at lunch one day. Somehow it was only us two but I wasn't complaining._

 _"Shoot," I told her wondering why she was even asking._

 _"Why, in the past obviously, have you always dated bitches?" she asked. That's when I saw she was glancing over at Camille._

 _"They haven't all been," I defended. She looked pointedly at Camille again. "Ok she was but the majority of them were normal and a few of them were even really nice. You just seem to hate everyone I dated._

 _"Are you saying I'm the reason your girlfriends were stuck up?" she asked offended._

 _"No, I'm just saying they were already jealous because I'd always put you first and according to a few it was obvious that I was in love with you. Then you come in already judging and disliking them so they probably did seem stuck up to you. Remember Jenny?" I asked trying to prove my point._

 _"Yea why?" she asked hesitantly. "She was too nice."_

 _"How is somebody too nice?" I asked with a laugh._

 _"Because eventually it just gets to a point where they are annoying and it all just seems like a fake act to get more attention."_

 _"Dang you really did have it bad for me," I smirked._

 _"Why do you say that?" She asked sarcastically but with a smile._

 _"Because she is one of the nicest girls in the school probably only tied with Lissa though she may have her beat yet you still find reasons to dislike her," I teased._

 _"Oh shut up!" she said rolling her eyes. I leaned over and kissed her head._

 _"It's ok. It's cute when you're jealous," I smiled at her._

 _"You're just lucky I wasn't a man whore like you and didn't date half the school!" she retorted._

 _"Well I gotta say I am grateful you weren't a man whore," I retorted with a grin._

 _"You know what I meant!" she laughed not able to actually be annoyed. "How would you feel if I'd been dating all of the self centered guys in this school? You reacted badly when it was just one!" she said triumphantly._

 _"And for good reason! He almost tried to rape you," I said still upset that I ever let her go out with him at all._

 _"But luckily I had my big strong hero to come rescue me," she said in a playful voice hanging on my arm looking up at me in pretend awe. "But that's beside the point. I'm just saying I feel like you would have had the same reaction I did."_

 _"Well good thing we'll never know," I smiled down at her. "And now you have nothing to be jealous about."_

 _"I wasn't jealous!" she argued._

 _"Ok," I told her nodding in mock seriousness just to get on her nerves._

 _"Geez you're annoying!" she said grabbing her tray as the bell rang. "I don't even know why I put up with you!"_

 _"Because you love me and get green with jealousy at the thought of anyone else dating me," I smirked proudly grabbing my tray also and walking with her to dump them._

 _"I do love you but I wasn't jealous. You just picked bad girlfriends," she argued. We dumped our trays and started out of the cafeteria._

 _"They weren't all bad, only like three of them were actually bad," I argued back. She went to say something but I cut her off with a quick kiss making sure no teachers were around. "For what its worth I would have been green with jealousy too."_

 **Present DPOV:**

In the middle of visiting Sonya and Karolina, Tasha called to let me know she was surprising me by coming to visit and meet my family. I left them so they could get ready to check out of the hospital and I could go pick her up.

My sisters definitely didn't go easy on me today, not that I would have ever expected them too. In the end, they were still pissed but forgave me once I promised to fly them out to LA and go shopping on Rodeo Drive like in the movie Pretty Woman. Surprisingly both of them said they were still mad at me for leaving Roza and said they wouldn't fully forgive me for that until I made things right with her. They were upset because I wouldn't give them the answers they wanted but they realized it was a losing battle and let it go.

The trip from the hospital to the studio wasn't very long but it was long enough to remind me of the conversation I overheard last night between mama and Rose. The thing that kept running through my head was _'he's going to feel betrayed'_...what was she hiding that I would be betrayed by? The only thing I could think of is if she had cheated on me but that didn't feel right. I know Roza and she would never have cheated on me… at least the old Rose wouldn't have. So if it's not that what else could she have done that she thinks will make me hate her and feel betrayed? She said something about Connor? Was that the name? Which makes me go back to the cheating thing…What else could she have done with another guy? I can't think of anything.

As I pulled into the parking spot I found myself getting frustrated. As I made my way into the studio I sat outside the door listening to her and Adrian joke around. Somewhere a small part of me was envious of their relationship. I heard her laughing and was reminded of when it used to be me that made her laugh that way. Another huge part of me was just getting even more frustrated and I couldn't stop it. The rational part of my brain knew it was irrational. I'm with Tasha and love Tasha and I'm not telling Rose all about my past so I can't expect her to open up to me. Unfortunately, the irrational part was winning out. I heard her and Adrian talk about producing and writing this new song and immediately I was hurt. I stepped into the doorway as the music started. I saw her look over at me but I knew I was mostly hidden in the shadows. She knew I was there but couldn't see my face. Adrian glanced over at me and nodded before turning back towards her as she started singing.

She started singing about lost love and changing into someone else. When she looked up at me as she sang about being let down by the one she wanted to spend her life with, my heart broke for her all over again. At the same time, it strengthened my resolve. If she would have known how far I fell, it would have hurt her even more. While she was singing though it brought back her conversation _"He's going to feel betrayed"_. Here she is singing about how I broke her heart yet she's apparently hiding some big secret that will supposedly break mine. Why does she keep throwing it in my face that I hurt her yet she's hiding something from me? Something important apparently. She looked over and smiled at Adrian as he goofed off and something snapped. No. She can't sit there throwing more guilt in my face while she's here flirting with Adrian, like she's been since they met, while also hiding something from me. Again, the rational part of my brain knew I was 100% over reacting but I couldn't stop it. The more she smiled at Adrian while singing about me breaking her heart and how she doesn't believe in love anymore just overwhelmed me.

I guess that's my payback after all of these years of just shutting all of my emotions off. She comes back and uncorks the volcano and I can't control it. When she looked at me as if asking what I thought, I couldn't stop myself. I knew I was being irrational and crazy but dammit I was pissed. I know it's pointless to ask her about what I heard but in the meantime, it's literally driving me crazy.

"Want to tell me what that was?" I asked as she made her way into the booth. "I don't believe anyone said anything about working on a new song today."

"Well the studio happened to have some spare time so we were planning on practicing the duet. But, Adrian was going through the music trying to find ours when he accidentally played this one and I realized I had some lyrics that fit it and well out came this song. We were recording it so we could show it to you later. He's actually a pretty good producer. Why are you here?"

"Sonya was released so mama took her and Karo home. Tasha decided to fly here as a surprise visit so I'm about to head out and pick her up from the airport but I had a few minutes to spare so when Adrian said you two were still here I decided to come check things out. I'm glad I did since you two are recording without a producer and not working on what you're supposed to be," I said knowing that's not why I was upset but using that as my excuse.

"Relax Dimitri, it was only one small recording so we could show you later. We figured you'd want to hear it when we told you about it," Adrian said annoyed. Great, like I needed him to chip in.

"You shouldn't have been working on anything separately. You need to be working on your duet so we can get it finished as soon as possible. IF you wanted to work on something else you should be focusing on the duet album not Rose's solo album."

"Well at least today I know who pissed in your cheerios," She smarted off.

"And who's that because I know you're not going to hold yourself accountable for it," I asked already knowing where this was leading.

"This feels like something between you two. I'm going to go take a smoke break," Adrian said walking out the door.

"So whose fault is it, if it's not yours?"

"I'd be pretty annoyed too if I thought I had escaped my bitchy girlfriend only to have her follow me," she retorted. Which of course only made me angrier. Yes Tasha isn't perfect and has her flaws but I really do honestly care about her and am getting really tired this argument.

"Of course, blame Tasha for no reason what so ever. That's low Rose. Can you quit being a bitch for 5 whole minutes?"

"Yea I can, when you stop being an ass!" she half-yelled back.

"I'm only being an ass because you were here screwing around while we're under a deadline!" I said frustrated. I knew I was picking an argument just because I was hurt and didn't want to admit it.

"Oh, you and I both know that's not the reason. We both know there was nothing we could do without you with us. So, if you're not pissed off about her, then what is it? Pissed off that Adrian and I created a great song without you?"

"Oh wow! Hit the nail on the head didn't you?" I said sarcastically. I would never let her know that yea I was hurt that her and Adrian created such a great song together. It felt like shit to see she really didn't need me. I know that makes me sound even worse but even though I know we'll never be in a romantic relationship again, it'd be nice to regain our friendship. Or at least part of it. So yea it hurts knowing how much she doesn't need me. Hello Karma. "I told you I'm pissed because-"

"We're on a deadline. I know!" she exclaimed cutting me off. "It's not like we planned to come in here and record without you. You're acting like somehow by recording a demo without you here, we cheated on you or something."

"We don't have time to waste on other measly projects," I said hating myself even more as I said it. Whether she did or did not cheat on me, whether she needs me or not, she doesn't deserve this. Only I couldn't stop myself. Like I said, the cork to the volcano has popped and I can't control the lava.

"Are you trying to say my solo album isn't important? Because this duet album is solely to benefit both of our next solo albums."

"No, I'm just saying it can wait. There's no dates for it yet. We need to focus on the stuff we have deadlines for."

"We weren't even planning on recording vocals today. We couldn't have without you. We were just going to practice, we can do that later. So calm the hell down."

"You still could have used this time to practice instead," I said reeling the emotions in little by little.

"So what are you actually mad about? That we 'wasted time', that we did this without you here, and made a damn good song on our own without you, or is it because of what the song is about?" she asked angrily. Instead of telling her 'Yes!' I shook my head and started towards the door.

"Whatever, I have to go. Your times almost up anyway. Next time work on what you're supposed to be working on."

"That is it, it's because you think it's about you and it pissed you off." She said with a bitter smile. Instead of lashing out I told her the truth. Well partial truth. Normally it wouldn't piss me off that it was about me, it would just make me sad but today it did. She wants to make me feel guilty but she's hiding something and guilty herself yet I can't do a damn thing about it.

"No that's not why I'm ticked off. Even if it was, it's not like I'd be wrong," I smarted.

"Got a big enough head there? Look I'm sorry we pissed you off, if you hate the song that bad you could just say so but next time you don't have to be such an ass about it!" she said fiercely as she stormed out of the room. I saw her run into Adrian as she walked down the hallway and watched them both leave as I turned to the wall.

"Damn it!" I yelled throwing my fist against it. I stood there for a few minutes breathing trying to calm myself. I was pissed at myself because of course she thought I hate the song thought that was far from the truth, I actually loved it. I hate that she did it without me. I hate that she's keeping secrets from me that affect my life. I hate that that there's nothing I can do about it because I'm hiding things from her too. Most of all I hate myself and the decisions I made that brought me here.

I grabbed my keys as I made my way outside. I saw Rose with Adrian, he was obviously trying to calm her down. He went inside to get the computer. I opened my mouth to say something, not sure what I was even going to say but, before anything could come out she turned and jumped into the car. I went over to my truck and climbed in. I looked at my phone to see what time it was, and saw my lock screen, a picture of Tasha and me. Despite all of these issues with Rose coming back and all of these feelings coming out, I really do care about Tasha. Our relationship started off a lot like mine and Rose's. We were friends until it turned into something more. I pulled my truck out of the spot and headed towards the airport thinking back on our relationship.

At first it was just her using the band as a way to get into the clubs which really didn't bother me because she listened when I was upset. Let me rant and rave over how much I missed Roza when I was drunk or high. She never made a move until the night she kissed me. I was upset and ran away but then things happened and I needed someone and there she was. She apologized and said she never meant it but a few months later I kissed her and it went from there. It started off great. She was understanding and supportive and didn't need me to be anything but there for her. Then about a year ago she got upset and used my past against me. I confronted her about it and she broke down. She said she was sorry she just got insecure for a minute and lashed out and I couldn't really blame her for it. I'm far from perfect so why should I expect her to be? Then it started happening more and more but I always forgave her. The night she met Rose was the worst fight we've ever had. Yet I still couldn't bring myself to break things off with her. She brought up Ivan and the old days and I was reminded me of all of the ups and downs she's been there for. I told her if she pulled another stunt like that again that we would be done and since then as far as I know, her and Rose haven't had any contact.

I know she's going to hate it here, since the beginning she used my status to get her the finer things in life which I've never minded because she's been great to me in return. Now to come to small town U.S.A, it's going to be a culture shock that she's not going to like. Plus, Roza is staying at Mama's with us so that's not going to go over very well at all. I know Rose is a sore subject for her. When I first got to LA that's all I would talk about, is 'Roza this" and "Roza that", any one would feel insecure about that no matter how confident they are. I'm just hoping she doesn't go too far.

I pulled into the tarmac a few minutes before the plane arrived and got out of the truck. When the plane touched down something uneasy turned in my stomach but I ignored it as I plastered a smile on my face, hoping but knowing it was inevitable that things would not go smoothly while she was here. She climbed down and smiled at me.

"Dimka! I missed you!" she said coming over and wrapping her arms around my neck in a tight hug.

"I missed you too," I smiled as she pulled away and leaned up to kiss me. a small part of me noticed the fact that there was no spark to it but I pushed it away. I pulled away and turned to Christian. I reached out to shake his hand, "Nice to see you again."

"You too," he said stiffly. He never really had been warm to really anyone but I knew not to take it personal, the kid had, had a tough life.

"Well let's get on the road. It's an hour's drive," I said gesturing to the truck. I opened my door and gestured for Tasha to get in as Christian went around to the other side.

"IT's so green here," Tasha said like she was unsure if it was a good thing or a bad. I laughed.

"It's definitely different than what you're used to," I chuckled.

"Oh hush Dimitri," she smiled but I noticed it felt forced. "It's…pretty."

"It's gorgeous," I said as I started driving.

She spent the car ride telling me about her latest modeling job and some she was looking at in the next few months. When we got close I decided to go ahead and bite the bullet.

"So, there's something I haven't exactly told you and I want you to not freak out when I tell you," I warned knowing this wasn't going to go over easy. "Rose's parents were pretty horrible people and when she turned 18 they kicked her out and she ended up living at my house. Now obviously I had no idea about this until I came into town yesterday but coming back here she obviously didn't really have anywhere to go so she's staying at the house with us. Knowing her she will probably go over to her friend Lissa's house tonight, but I just wanted to warn you so it's not a surprise."

"Oh. Well from what you told me about her, it makes sense she would move in with them," she said understandingly. A little too understandingly for my taste. I looked over at her. She laughed. "Honestly Dimitri, I can be a bitch but I'm not heartless! The girl had nowhere else to go. I think its admirable that your family took her in when they didn't have to."

"Yea," I said confused. This was not what I was expecting at all. I mean yes this was the best case scenario but I definitely didn't expect it. We pulled into the driveway and I climbed out as mama stepped onto the porch. I helped Tasha out of the truck before making our way over to the porch. By the time we'd gotten there Vika, Karolina, Paul and Zoya had made it onto the porch also.

"Tasha, this is my famiy, everyone this is my girlfriend Tasha," I smiled. "This is my mother, Olena, my sisters Viktoria and Karolina, and Karolina's two children Paul and Zoya."

"Its nice to meet you all," she said stiffly. I can't blame her, I'd be a little overwhelmed if I was her.

"I've heard a lot about you. It's nice to finally meet you," mama said warmly.

"Oh and this is Tasha's nephew Christian," I said gesturing to Christian.

"Nice to meet you," Mama told him.

"Would you like to come look at my cars?" Paul asked Tasha. "Dimka and I made an awesome track to drive them on!"

"Um," she said hesitantly.

"Not now buddy, why don't you let her get settled a little bit?" I told him.

"How about I come play with you?" Christian suggested and I was surprised. Paul smiled and nodded before heading into the house.

"You have to wait for him, he doesn't know where he's going," Karolina laughed at him. his little head popped back outside as he looked at Christian expectantly. Christian smirked and followed him in.

"How about the rest of us head inside ourselves?" Mama suggested as she turned and opened the door. I reached over her and grabbed it holding it open for everyone as they walked in. Viktoria went and sat on the couch as mama went over to the door between the living room and kitchen.

"Would you like something to drink?" she asked Tasha.

"Some water would be nice," she said as I shut the door.

"Yea me too," Vika said.

"You know where it is," Mama responded.

"I see how it is," Vika smiled pretending to be offended.

"She's a guest, you live here," I said grabbing Tasha's hand and leading her over to the couch by Vika. I smiled over at her as we sat down. I could tell she was uncomfortable.

"So you're a model?" Vika asked.

"Yes," Tasha smiled at her.

"Anything I would have seen you in or on?" Vika asked as mama came back into the living room with a bottle of water and handed it to Tasha.

"Oh, I've done some magazine spreads, a few commercials but I mostly do stuff on the catwalk," she smiled. "The latest thing I've been working on is trying to get into sports illustrated."

"Oh," Vika said trying to hide the disgust on her face. I wanted to laugh. Her and Roza have always hated the sports illustrated swimsuit edition saying it was trashy and demeaning.

"Well isn't that nice," Mama smiled from her seat on the recliner beside the couch. About then Yeva walked in. She looked over at Tasha gave a loud "Humph!" and turned and walked back out the room.

"Sorry about that, she's not a big people person," I told Tasha embarrassed. "That's my babushka, grandmother, Yeva."

"I'll be right back," Mama said before following after. I could tell Tasha was really uncomfortable. I turned to Vika.

"I'm sure after the travel and everything, Tasha's exhausted so I think we're going to go chill out in my room for a little while," I told her standing up and grabbing Tasha's hand. As we entered my room and I shut the door and turned to her.

"Sorry about all of that, just give them time. They'll come around," I smiled. she came over and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"It's fine," she smiled. Before leaning up and kissing me. I pulled away and looked down at her. "They were cute. I need a shower, can you manage without me for a while?"

"Yea that's fine," I said opening the door and showing her to the bathroom. I made sure she knew how to work everything and where the towels were. I made my way back to my room and laid on the bed staring at the ceiling. I looked over and saw the picture of Roza and I was still on the night stand along with a few other pictures. I stood up and grabbed them all and shoved them in the top drawer of the dresser, before laying back down. I sighed and shut my eyes exhaustion suddenly hitting me. before I knew it, I was sound asleep.

A couple of hours later I found myself somehow at dinner with Roza, Tasha, Adrian, Christian, Vika, Mason, Lissa and Lissa's little boy Aj. I was still trying to figure out if I was going to regret agreeing to go or not. I could tell Tasha was out of her element but she was somewhat trying to not complain. She did make a comment about the food which was to be expected. She is a model so she's very careful about her diet. Honestly it's all annoying to me but I've learned to deal with it. Conversation turned to Lissa's little boy and I had to admit, even though he did have a lot of her features, he was the spitting image of his father. Guilt ate at me along with sorrow when I looked at him. Aaron and I were best friends growing up. Besides Roza he was my best friend here. I never thought that he would be gone so soon. I heard Tasha ask Rose why she didn't have any kids and while I felt that question was very rude, I can't deny I wasn't interested in the answer.

"I don't know, guess I've just been too busy with work," she said grabbing her water and taking a big drink.

"Just asking since you're so good with them. Dimitri's nephew wouldn't stop talking about you. Plus he seems to adore you."

"Paul's a great kid so is Aj. They make it easy to be around and it helps I've know them both since they were born, Zoya too. I'm good on my own though, I don't want kids. They keep me on my toes enough," she said. Until then I hadn't been looking over at her but when she said she didn't want kids my head snapped up in shock. She had always talked about having a big family. She was the one that informed me that we were going to have like four or five children when we were older. It stumped me. what would have made her decide she didn't want children. I looked at her and saw sadness in her eyes that she was trying to hide but she shrugged like it wasn't a big deal before turning back to her menu.

"What about you Aunt Tasha? Why haven't you and Dimitri popped out any babies yet?" Christian asked Tasha and while I knew I should really care about that answer, the truth was I didn't because right now I couldn't see myself having children with Tasha anytime soon.

"And ruin this figure? No thank you," she said with a smile but I'm pretty sure everyone saw the horror in her eyes. Rose excused herself to the bathroom and a minute or two later Lissa followed suit. They came back shortly then mark came out to say hi. I was shocked to see such a warm reaction from Roza, not in a bad way. Just they were never that close. We'd been coming here for years and they'd had a decent relationship but it wasn't ever that friendly. He walked away and I made my way back to as Tasha spoke up.

"You know the help here?" she asked and you could hear the contempt in her voice. Surprisingly I wasn't that shocked but I was slightly offended.

"Mark is a great man and he and his wife are very good friends with the Belikovs, not the help. He owns this restaurant and is one of the best cooks and nicest men I've ever met," Roza defended him proudly.

"Mark and Oksana came over from Russia around the same time my parents did so they became really good friends" I explained.

"Plus we've all been coming here pretty much our entire lives," Mason laughed. The waitress then delivered all of the food. As we ate I questioned Roza about her sandwich, not used to seeing her eat anything other than a burger from here. Then as everyone was eating, hand gestures caught my eye and I looked over to see Roza and Lissa doing something that looked like Sign language if I wasn't mistaken.

"What are you two doing?" Adrian asked. She looked up like she was shocked to see the attention on her.

"Uh signing," she laughed.

"You sign?" I asked curious on when and why she learned sign language.

"Yes, Aj was born deaf in one ear but has a cochlear implant so as long as he has it on he can hear fine but Lissa and I took signing classes and she's teaching him to sign," Roza explained making me have even more respect for Lissa. Not only did she have a baby by herself but she learned a new language to help her son. Roza too, it wasn't even her kid and yet she took the time out to learn it for him also. It appeared Christian was pretty impressed himself.

"That is impressive," I agreed with Christian before turning on Rose. "Wait how did YOU learn sign? You hate stuff like that? Except curse words."

"Actually I hated Spanish. And somebody refused to teach me Russian though I have learned quite a bit of that too thank you! I actually really enjoy signing," she smiled. "It's a hard language but fun to figure out."

"That's because you only wanted to learn Russian curse words," I smiled, I'd tried to teach her Russian but she would only learn a few words before going back to wanting to learn curse words. Over the years I pretty much taught her most of them.

"I can now curse in four different languages," she smiled proudly. I laughed and shook my head. Of course she can.

"That's awesome, Hot and bilingual. Jackpot!" Adrian teased. I wanted to roll my eyes. He'd been flirting with her on and off all night and it was starting to get irritating.

"Shut up. I'm not bilingual. I know a little but Lissa knows a lot more than I do," she nodded to Lissa.

"Still pretty hot," he winked. That time I did roll my eyes and turned back to my food.

When everyone was done eating and I'd paid the bill, we decided it was time to head over to Charlie's. If Tasha thought the diner was bad, I wonder what she's going to think of a bowling alley and dive bar.


	21. Chapter 19 Ol' Red

**AN: Sorry I made you all wait a little longer for this chapter. I was trying to come up with a flashback for it. I'm working on planning out how many chapters are left so I might be able to tell you how close we are to the end pretty soon…I will say, if a story could have two climaxes this would be the first one…but I promise the second one won't be another 19 chapters away like this one is! It might be a few weeks before I can get back on and update again. I am now caught up with all the chapters I had already typed out. Plus, this week is dead week (week before finals) and the next is finals but I will try to write as much as I can!**

 **Thank you all for the concern about my little head injury. I never went to an actual doctor about it so I can't say with certainty that I did have a concussion but based on all of the health classes and first aid (my major is kinesiology which is the study of the human body) I'm pretty certain it was a mild concussion but I'm all better now. Thank you for all of the thoughts, well wishes and concern! I really truly appreciate it!**

 **Now without further ado, here's the next chapter! Tell me what you think :)**

 _ **Rose 17 Dimitri 19**_

 _"I'm coming!" I hollered climbing out of bed. I looked at the clock and groaned. What kind of asshole comes banging on a girls door at 10 am. I stumbled my way downstairs and threw open the door to find my annoying ass boyfriend standing there. "What the hell?"_

 _"Get dressed, we're going out to Aaron's," he said smiling at me. He started to make his way into the house but as he passed me he leaned down and kissed me on the head before heading towards the living room. "I let you sleep in."_

 _"Why are we going to Aarons so early?" I asked wanting nothing more than to go climb back in bed. "And why do we have to go so early?"_

 _"You said that twice," he smirked._

 _"Yea well I'm not awake yet," I mumbled. He came over and wrapped me in a hug. I laid my head on his shoulder._

 _"We're going to Aaron's to go four wheeling. Lissa's already there. Lissa and Aaron have to be done by 2 so we have to go early if you want to go," he explained. I jerked back._

 _"Why didn't you wake me earlier?" I exclaimed running up the stairs. "We should have been there by now!"_

 _"I was trying to be nice and let you sleep in!" he hollered from downstairs._

 _"Well that was stupid because now we're super late and I have to hurry up and get ready!" I hollered through my open door since I hadn't bothered to close it._

 _"Are you seriously mad at me because I let you sleep in?" he asked back._

 _"YES!" I said quickly changing into some shorts and an old t-shirt. I ran over to my mirror and looked at the disaster on my head. I hurriedly ran a brush through it and threw it into a ponytail as I hollered back down._

 _"Now we're late and you didn't even bring food!" I said angrily knowing I would have to skip breakfast so we could hurry up and get there. It's a 30 minute drive out to Aarons parents land, they also have a house(mansion) in town. Lissa and Aaron are going out of town to his family reunion or something like that so they won't be able to ride very long. Meaning we should been out there by now. after my hair was manageable I ran into the bathroom and brushed my teeth._

 _"I was trying to be nice for a change!" he hollered back up. "I know you hate waking up early."_

 _"Yes but they can't ride for long so we should have already been there!" I argued. I grabbed a spare pair of jeans, and a tank top and put them in my satchel bag and headed downstairs._

 _"Ah. You look perfect," Dimitri grinned._

 _"Flattery will not make me unmad but thank you!" I said slipping on my chucks and heading out the door. I waited for Dimitri to come out then locked it and headed towards his truck._

 _"What if I said you look super sexy and irresistible," he smirked walking beside me._

 _"Then you'd be lying and that would make me even more mad. There's nothing sexy about a t-shirt and a ponytail," I smiled. He turned me to face him as we got to the truck._

 _"Ah but it's on you so that automatically make it sexy as hell. See your t-shirt is one I got you at that stupid restaurant that you love which adds value to it. Plus, its tight enough it shows off your curves but still hides enough so I don't have to get irrationally jealous when other guys see you in it. These shorts show off your perfect legs. And this ponytail allows me to do this," he lightly pulled my hair so my head tilted back up at him. He leaned down and kissed me like his life depended on it. When he pulled back he grinned down at me. "See? Very sexy."_

 _"Oh you think you're so smooth comrade," I smirked up at him. "But I'm still mad at you and we need to go!"_

 _"Well then, I guess if you're still mad, I won't show you your surprise," he teased._

 _"Surprise?" I asked, interested._

 _"Yea you see I figured you'd be hungry," he said moving over and opening the passenger door. "So I figured I'd bring you something…"_

 _I leaned over and saw a box of donuts and a chocolate milk sitting in the passenger seat. As much as I wanted to give in, I couldn't let him win, just yet. "No donut holes?"_

 _"You are a hard girl to please," he laughed._

 _"Girl?" I asked attempting to raise an eyebrow. He laughed even harder at my attempt. He leaned over and kissed me._

 _"You're cute," he said as he pulled away. He reached in the truck and pulled out a white bag._

 _"Cute? I thought you said sexy?" I playfully argued._

 _"Are you going to get upset about everything I say?" he asked rolling his eyes but grinning at me._

 _"We're late," I told him leaning up and kissing him before scooting over and climbing in the truck. "Thanks for the donuts."_

 _"Sure thing," he chuckled._

 **Present:**

We decided to bowl a game. Because there were 8 of us, we split into two teams of 4. Somehow I ended up on a team with Dimitri, Tasha, and Adrian. Luckily I had Adrian flirting with me like crazy to make me laugh and I think to get on Dimitri's nerves. We all shared a computer area and the spot where the balls popped out so it wasn't too bad.

"Ready to go down Little Red?" Adrian taunted.

"There's one thing you'll learn about me, I never lose," I smirked at him.

"She's not really lying," Dimitri input. "Cause even if she does lose she finds a reason why the person that beat her should be disqualified."

"Aw are you a sore loser?" Adrian chuckled.

"No, I just never lose," I joked. "I think it's your turn."

"Oh you're going down red,"

"Why do you call her red?" Tasha sneered like it was disgusting.

"Because she's red hot like fire," he winked before grabbing his ball and throwing it down the line.

"That's really not why. It's the hair. Plus the first night we met, the night we ran into you outside of the bar, I was wearing red," I explained.

"Wait you ran into each other outside? You never told me that," Dimitri asked Tasha.

"I forgot about it," she shrugged innocently.

"I'm sure you did. For someone like you I'm sure calling people a whore is an every hour occurrence," I smirked going up to the machine and grabbing my ball as Adrian finished his turn. He had guttered the first time and hit 3 pins the second.

"Oh yea, that's the way to beat me," I laughed.

"I'm just getting warmed up," he smiled.

"Sure, sure," I smiled. I went and got a spare. As I walked back Adrian smiled at me. Dimitri and Tasha looked a little tense as Dimitri stood up but I shrugged it off. Instead I focused on Adrian.

"What I'm getting warmed up," I said throwing his words back at him. I turned to everyone. "I'm going to go get something to drink anyone want anything?"

"I'll go with you, I just had my turn," Mason volunteered. I got everyone's orders and headed to the concessions. As we waited in line I watched the game from afar until mason spoke up.

"How are you doing?" he asked.

"Be better if everyone would stop asking me that," I told him with a small smile.

"You know it's because we love you," he replied.

"I know and I appreciate it. By the way thanks for letting me end up on their team!" I fake berated him.

"Sorry, I'm not really sure how that happened."

"It's fine. I'm not really mad. Annoyed but not mad. Keep an eye on Christian for me. He and Lissa have seemed to hit it off but I'm worried about him. Especially since his aunt is the bitch from hell."

"She is horrible. You weren't exaggerating," he said shocked.

"Thanks for sounding so shocked!"

"Rose, I'm sorry but you've literally NEVER liked any of Dimitri's girlfriends so you can't get upset that I thought you were exaggerating with her," he laughed.

"I really haven't have I?" I laughed.

"Not at all," he smiled looking at me. "You're smiling more."

"I'm trying. I feel like I'm worse than before in some moments. Others I feel better than I have in a while. I think it's helped being around people that don't remind me of the past constantly. Not that I don't love you all. I do and I'm so glad to be visiting. But it's nice to have my own place and not staying in my ex boyfriends room and going every where out there doesn't trigger memories or flashbacks. Adrian has been a help around Dimitri. He keeps me laughing and distracted so I can't be upset for too long."

"Is something going on between you two?" he asked warily.

"No. He likes to flirt a LOT. Especially around Dimitri because it pisses him off and makes me laugh."

"Well I'm glad you've had him then," he said. By then the line cleared and I placed our order and paid. They said they'd bring it to our table for us. We made our way back to our lanes. By then it was my turn again.

By the end of the game, I was tied with Dimitri. Adrian and Tasha were both pretty bad so they weren't very close to us. Adrian had now resorted to trying to get me to mess up by taunting me as I bowled. Beside us, they were all pretty even with the lead changing frequently. It was our last turn.

"Don't blow this, And whatever you do don't choke!" Adrian taunted. Regular taunts weren't working so he started trying to do dirty innuendos to make me laugh and mess up. I decided to play along this time since it was the end and because Tasha had been annoying me with little remarks all game, all when Dimitri wasn't around of course. When he was she acted as sweet as pie. I turned and winked at him.

"Don't worry, I never choke," I flicked my hair as I turned back to the lane. In my peripheral vision I saw Dimitri looked shocked and I laughed as I swayed my hips walking up to the lane. I threw the ball and got a perfect strike. When I turned back Dimitri had composed himself but Adrian was pretending to fan himself.

"Bowling may be my new favorite sport," Adrian smirked. I rolled my eyes and sat down beside him. It was mason's turn on the other team.

"Woo, go Mase!" I cheered. He smiled at me and gave me a thumbs up as he turned and made his way to the lane.

"Another one?" Tasha said disgustedly. I looked to see her glaring me down.

"Mason is one of my best friends so shut up," I said so Dimitri couldn't hear since he was bowling.

"I'm sure he is," she sneered. I was about to say something when Adrian's hand landed on my thigh. He squeezed it reassuringly.

"Just don't engage," he said softly. I looked up and saw Dimitri looking at us. I saw his eyes go to Adrian's hand before turning and grabbing his bowling ball. For some reason I felt dirty seeing him look at me like that. I shook Adrian's hand off and stood up.

"I'm going to the bathroom," I said before heading towards the bathroom. By the time I went to wash my hands, Viktoria was in there also.

"Having fun?" I asked knowing it was pointless but trying regardless.

"Not as much as you are from the looks of things," she said sharply. I wanted to roll my eyes.

"Yea I am actually having a little bit of fun. Despite one of my best friends not talking to me and getting called a slut every chance Tasha gets."

"Oh poor you!" she smarted. That was when I snapped with her. Tired of giving her time I decided to lay it out there.

"You know what I understand you're pissed at me and you have every right to be but grow the hell up. You're being selfish and petty. That stunt you pulled in the hospital yesterday was extremely uncalled for, taking literally the worst thing that's ever happened in my life and throwing it in my face. You knew I was already at one of the lowest points being back in that hospital having to be happy for Sonya and her baby, knowing mine died. To make it worse have Dimitri standing there holding her reminding me of everything I've lost. Then you smart off like that? I would never do that to you no matter how mad I was. Now you're going out of your way to upset me and snipe at me. You should know how bad it killed me when you invited them out with us, yet you did it just to hurt me. I would never do that to you."

I stormed out of the bathroom only to find Tasha standing a few feet away from the door like she'd been heading in there when I threw the door open. It didn't look like she had heard anything because she was half way down the little hallway when I had come out. Unfortunately I had started crying while I was yelling at Vika, only a few tears but I knew they were visible to Tasha. I quickly wiped them away.

"If I was you I would keep my mouth tightly shut right now," I smarted walking past her. She glared at me but made no remarks. I made my way over to the lanes we were at. Luckily they were on the other side of the building so I had a few seconds to cool down. I rubbed under my eyes to make sure my makeup wasn't under my eyes. As I got back to the lanes Adrian reached up to high-five me.

"Congrats Little Red, you won. Dimitri threw a gutter ball his last time up," he smirked.

"Thanks," I smiled softly. He raised an eyebrow up at me. I smiled to let him now I was ok. I saw Lissa giving me the same look. I signed the word fine to her and smiled. I knew they both knew I was lying but neither said anything. "So are we playing again or what?"

"I was thinking we could head into the bar area and just hang out and play pool," Lissa suggested. I shrugged.

"Sounds good. I like pool better anyways," I smiled. We gathered our stuff and made our way into the bar area. Dimitri stayed behind to wait for Vika and Tasha, to let them know where we went. Luckily Thursday nights was a slow night for them. We took up two tables towards the back and commandeered the three pool tables by us. Adrian and I decided to play the first game. Adrian was going to get the balls when I heard a voice I had been praying I wouldn't.

"Well, well, well, look who decided to show her face around here again," Camille taunted coming up to our table. "What, did you wash up in LA already? Had to come running back home to the family that didn't want you?"

"No Camille, I'm just here visiting," I said praying this would be short.

"Aw I would say that too. Funny how you keep failing at everything," she sneered.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, I'm just saying you thought you were hot shit in high school. Especially once you hooked up with Dimitri. Then you get kicked off of the softball team and dance, lost Dimitri, barely graduated, your own family dumps you so you tried to take over Dimitri's and when that failed fled to LA but it looks like you're back with your tail between your legs."

"Whatever Camille. I _**quit**_ softball and dance. Didn't get kicked off and graduated higher than you in class rankings. I'm here visiting because a friend had a baby then I'll be gone again. I don't need to validate my life to you. What have you done? Exactly. Why don't you just turn around and mind your own business?"

"Yet you have nothing to say about your family and Dimitri's," she smiled evilly.

"She still has us," Viktoria said coming to stand beside me. "Always has, unlike trash like you. You're just mad because we never liked you from the beginning. For good reason too. You're just a bitter bitch."

"What do I care what you think? You're just as bad as she is. Even Dimitri knew better than to stick around you and your trashy family," she retorted. My jaw dropped. She'd always made remarks to me but had never stooped to my friends. I balled my fist and took a step before I heard Dimitri interrupt.

"What'd you say about my sister and my family?" he said coming to stand beside Vika.

"Dimitri!" she said shocked before plastering an innocent smile on her face. "How's LA?"

"Cut the shit Camille. You're married and he's never really been in to you," I said before Dimitri could. She turned an icy glare to me.

"Whatever, you're just pissed he dumped you," she responded.

"Hey Red, Everything ok over here?" Adrian asked coming up beside me and wrapping an arm around my shoulder. Camille's jaw dropped but she tried to quickly hide it. He smiled and extended his hand towards her. "Hey, Adrian Ivashkov. I haven't met you yet?"

"Camille," she smiled flirtatiously.

"Well Camille, I heard a few things you said about my friend Rose here and I just thought I'd let you know since you seemed so concerned about Rose's well-being, her and I actually have a song coming out next week and a duet album a little while after that and then she has a solo album after that. She's actually doing extremely well."

She paused for a second her jaw opening and closing like a fish. "This isn't over!" she said before whipping around.

"Actually it is. Has been since high school. Move on," I called after her. As she turned the corner I busted out laughing. "God that was great!"

"It was pretty hilarious," Adrian laughed beside me. I turned towards Vika surprised she had stuck up for me after everything, especially after I had just yelled at her in the bathroom. She pulled me off to a dark corner and threw herself at me in a hug.

"I'm so sorry!" She cried into my shoulder. "You were right. What I said was so wrong. I should have never said that and I can't believe I did. It was so horrible. I don't know what I was thinking. Can you ever forgive me for doing that to you?"

"Of course I can. I still love you, no matter what you say or do," I told her honestly.

"I'm still upset about the whole hiding Dimitri from me but I'm not mad anymore. You were right I was extremely selfish and childish."

"Well you're only 19," I teased.

"Oh shut up!" she laughed. "I love you too by the way."

"Well that's reassuring," I laughed as she pulled away. "If you want, we can talk later about the Dimitri thing. Why don't we just try to enjoy the rest of the night? There's already been too much drama."

"Sounds good to me," she smiled.

"Hey before we head over there, are you ok?" I asked seriously. "I mean with what she said? You know that whatever reason he had for staying away it was his own issues. Nothing to do with you or your family. You know he loves you right?"

"I'm good she's just a stupid bitch," she shrugged and smiled but I could tell it was fake.

"I'm serious. He spent an entire dinner just talking about YOU because he wanted to know what he'd missed. I don't know why he stayed away but I can promise without a doubt it wasn't because he doesn't love you or because he thinks you are trash."

"It's whatever, lets go play some pool," she smiled. I knew I hadn't exactly persuaded her but I knew that I never would. It would have to be Dimitri that convinced her.

"Let's go kick some ass at pool," I smirked grabbing her hand and making our way back to the tables. "Bet you could hustle your brother pretty well."

"Great idea," she smirked. "But I'm sure he'll probably want to play with Tasha or something."

"Does she look like the kind of person that can play pool?" I joked and she shook her head no, laughing.

When we got back over, Adrian had set up the balls for our game and Christian and Mason were playing at the third table but the middle one was still open. Before Vika chickened out I spoke up.

"Hey comrade," I called getting his attention. I still hated calling him that now but old habits die hard plus I knew that would get his attention better. He quickly turned and raised an eyebrow knowingly. "I'm thinking that you and Vika should play a game together. Maybe you could teach her a thing or two."

"Good idea," he smiled. He turned towards her. "Want to play a game?"

"Sure," she said excitedly going over to the table. Viktoria went to go get the balls as Dimitri grabbed two sticks for them. I walked over to him pretending to get a stick of my own.

"You might not want to tell me why you stayed away but you need to tell your family. Something at least. Your sister believes Camille. She thinks she's one of the reasons you left and never looked back," I said quickly before walking away.

"So Adrian, you want to break or want me to?" I asked.

"Ladies first," he smirked.

"Your funeral," I teased.

A few shots into the game Tasha was still giving me the stink eye and making comments when she thought Dimitri couldn't hear her. Adrian turned towards me with a wicked gleam in his eye.

"I'll be back red," he winked as I started to take my turn. I looked to see where he was going and noticed him walking towards the music player on the wall. I shook my head wondering what he was up to. I heard the opening music of 'Closer' by the Chainsmokers come on and smiled cause I loved this song. He came back over and started singing it to me with a grin.

 **So Baby pull me closer in the backseat of your Rover**

 **That I know you can't afford**

 **Bite that Tattoo on your shoulder**

 **On the mattress that you stole from your roommate back in boulder**

 **We aint ever getting older**

I laughed because he was using his pool stick as a microphone and leaning towards me. I shoved him away.

"It's your turn idiot," I smiled.

"Hey might as well put on a show since she can't stop watching," He said going to take his shot. I rolled my eyes but looked over to see Tasha still glaring when Dimitri wasn't looking. I shrugged and thought 'to hell with it'. As Adrian walked back over to the table we were at I copied him and sang to him using my pool stick and doing exaggerated movements. When the chorus hit we sang together laughing at our dramatic movements. Then I went and took my turn. We carried on like that, when swapping turns we'd jokingly sing to each other doing stupid dances or gestures then go take our turn. By the end of the song pretty much everyone was laughing and singing along except Dimitri and Tasha. There was a pause for about two seconds before the next song came on. I laughed and looked at Adrian.

"Oh, this is just the beginning," he smirked as the opening of 'Gives you hell' by the All-American Rejects came on. With this song, we did the same routine except this time Mason and Viktoria joined in for the whole song. The last chorus and end of the song we all stood together and sang it laughing. I snuck a peek at Tasha and saw she was seriously annoyed.

The next song happened to be "The Best Damn Thing" by Avril Lavigne, I looked over at Adrian and he winked.

"I thought it was fitting and funny," he smiled innocently. Our game ended so Mason and I started a game. I couldn't help myself as I hopped on the balls of my feet and pointed at Adrian, though I'm pretty sure almost every knew who I really wanted to be pointing at, and sang happily while laughing.

 **That you're not, not, not gonna get any better  
You won't, won't, won't, you won't get rid of me never  
Like it or not, even though she's a lot like me  
We're not the same**

 **And, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm a lot to handle  
You don't know trouble, I'm a hell of a scandal**

 **Me, I'm a scene, I'm a drama queen  
I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen**

I laughed as Adrian nodded and added a "Hell yea" at the end of the chorus. Mason took his shot as the next verse came. When the next chorus hit Lissa had come over, so we used my pool stick as a microphone and sang together like we did in middle school when the song first came out. We giggled more than we sang but had fun all the same. When the part where Avril spells her name, she looked at me. Just like when we were younger I would cup my hands around my mouth like a megaphone and say the "Give me a…" and she'd finish the line. I completely forgot the game as we finished the song laughing like crazy. There was a pause at the end and we both looked around like we realized we were still in public. That only served to make us laugh harder in embarrassment. She went back over to where she was sitting by Christian and grabbed her glass and took a drink. I went and took my turn but missed as I made my way back to the table where Adrian was sitting. I heard the next song start and groaned.

"You didn't! Please tell me you did not play this song!" I half laughed. This song was going to be the death of me. Hell Adrian was going to be the death of me. If not by Dimitri then definitely Tasha. Adrian laughed as the opening lines to "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne started. "So are you trying to get me in a fight tonight?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't even know this song," he said innocently. He smiled but he actually looked like he was telling the truth, at least about not playing the song. Vika came over and smiled evily and I knew it was her, I shook my head and rolled my eyes. The first verse hit and we both leaned forward and started singing to each other.

 **You're so fine  
I want you mine  
You're so delicious  
I think about you all the time  
You're so addictive**

I turned and took my shot as Adrian started singing with Vika. She blushed but smiled happily. Mason came over and hit my shoulder with his.

"I've never seen that shade of red on someone's face," he pointed out nodding towards Tasha. I looked over and if looks could kill I would be dead and buried. She stood up, muttered something to Dimitri and stalked towards the bathrooms. Dimitri gave me a look and I shrugged.

"I didn't pick the music, though I have to say it's been a lot of fun," I smiled. I turned to Adrian and said the next line, "Hey, Hey I could be your girlfriend!"

"If only I could be so lucky," he smirked.

"Shut up!" I laughed as I took my final shot and sunk the 8 ball. "I Win!"

"I say that Rose and Dimitri should play since they both haven't lost," Vika smiled. "Like in a tournament the two best play the last game."

"I don't know," I shrugged.

"I mean if you're that scared to lose," Dimitri taunted. I looked at him and for a second I saw the Dimitri from back in high school that was always challenging me. Before I even knew what, I was doing I found myself rising to the challenge.

"Oh you're on Belikov," I smirked. "Rack 'em up."

"Ladies first," he said after racking them.

"Ever the gentleman," I quipped. I broke and hit two balls in. "I'll take stripes."

"Go ahead," he said gesturing to the table for my next turn. Unfortunately I missed. He smirked and walked over to the cue ball for his turn. He took his shot and sunk two solids in one smooth motion. He stood up and went over to where the cue ball landed and shot another ball in.

"Everyone gets lucky," I teased.

"Yea, we'll say its luck," he smirked back. Luckily he missed this time. I went over and hit one in then missed my second shot.

"Since when did you get so good at pool?" Dimitri asked me while looking for the best angle for his shot.

"For a while, I spent a lot of time coming up here. I really liked playing pool because I could just shut out the world and focus on then game," I said honestly.

"Thought that's what your other sports were for?" he asked lining his shot up and taking it. He missed.

"This was after I quit them," I said making my way to the table. He was silent as I shot.

"What did Camille mean by barely graduated?" he asked curiously. I shrugged as he took his. I looked over where everyone else was at, they were at the farthest table away from us all talking and laughing, not paying any attention to us.

"I guess she thought because I had missed so much I was in danger of failing or something. In reality like I said I finished higher than her in class rankings. I was actually in the top 20%."

"You were in the top 20%?" he asked in disbelief. He'd made one ball and was making his way to the other side of the table as he asked.

"Yep. Mostly straight A's my last three to 4 semesters," I smiled.

"Really? Wow. That's awesome," he said almost proudly as he made his first and missed his second. "But why did you miss so much?"

"Car wreck," I partially lied. It felt like a knife stabbing me in the chest saying the words but I tried to blow it off. Luckily because it was my turn I didn't have to look at him and kept my focus on the table. I quickly made two shots leaving us both with one ball left plus the eight ball.

"Sorry for going off on you earlier," he said taking his next shot. He made his last ball in but missed the eight.

"Its fine," I shrugged. I lined my shot up and made it. One more shot and I won. Unfortunately my good mood was slowly diminishing and it was affecting my playing. I missed the next shot. He came over to stand in front of me. He looked down with sincerity in his gaze.

"It's not. I'm sorry. I was upset about some other stuff and shouldn't have taken it out on you. It was a good song," he said softly. "It'll make a great single."

"Thank you," I replied just as softly. "Sorry I called your girlfriend a bitch…ok well kind of sorry... Well sorry I said it to you."

"Thank you," he smirked knowing it was the best he was going to get.

"Dimitri," Tasha whined (called) from the table. I hadn't even noticed her come back. "Can we leave yet?"

"Let me finish this game first," he called back turning towards the table. He took the shot and made it. He turned to me and winked. " I win."

"You didn't call the pocket so technically you lose," I argued. He turned to Adrian.

"See what I meant," he said pointing to me. Then looked at me. "Don't get upset cause I won fair and square. Rules say you have to call every shot. So technically we both just lost then. If you want to get technical."

"Fine. Whatever. Take the win. I'll just have to beat you next time," I laughed.

"Can we go now?" Tasha whined again from the table. He went over to her and I turned to Adrian.

"So that didn't look too bad. Actually looked a little cozy towards the end," he smirked.

"He was apologizing for being an ass to me earlier today."

"Oh really? Well where's my apology?" he asked.

"You ran away," I told him. "Said it was between him and me."

"Still, an apology would be nice. Then again he isn't in love with me."

"Ugh you're hopeless," I laughed.

"Only hopelessly in love with you," he declared putting a hand over his heart. I playfully shoved him and walked away rolling my eyes. He hollered after me. "You wound me!"

"Ready?" I asked Lissa.

"Yea," she smiled.

"K. I guess I have to take these two home. Then I'll head that way," I told her pointing to Vika and Adrian.

"Or, we can all come have a sleepover at Lissa's," Vika smirked as she suggested.

"I don't have Aj, so it shouldn't be a problem. I do have enough room," Lissa smiled.

"Are you sure? Cause I'm not," I smirked. Vika glared at me.

"Are you tired of us already?" Adrian asked pretending to be hurt.

"I'm just saying these two can be troublesome," I teased looking at Lissa.

"Hey! We're not that bad! Well I'm not, I don't know enough about him to say he isn't," Vika laughed.

"Hey I'll have you know, I'm very classy," he laughed. I rolled my eyes.

"Ugh fine!" I fake groaned with a smile.

"Yay! Sleepover at Lissa's!" Vika squealed. I laughed because it was like we were in high school all over again. It felt nice.

Everyone said their goodbyes. Mason had to work in the morning so he decided not to come crash our sleepover but insisted we had to do it again soon. As fun as this night was, between Sonya, the baby, Vika, Tasha, dinner, Camille, Dimitri, and all the other drama, it had been a very emotionally exhausting day. By the time I got to Lissa's house I didn't really feel like talking so we turned on a movie and grabbed popcorn and candy and made a pallet on the floor. By pallet, I mean several foam pads, sleeping bags, pillows and like 5 million blankets. Halfway through the movie I found myself drifting. Before I knew it I was sound asleep.


	22. Chapter 20 Truces

**So I decided to go ahead and post this chapter because after next week I'm not sure how often I'll get to update. I don't know if you all remember that camp I went to last summer, where I worked as a counselor for adults and children with special needs and disabilities but, I'm going back this year. It goes week to week from Sunday to Friday and while I do get a couple of hours off each week, I usually use that time for sleep so I'm not sure how much I'll actually be writing. I hope I'll do more than last year because this story is getting so close to the end, I'd roughly say 10 chapters or less (Roughly I haven't counted them all out and I could decide to add more later so don't take that number to heart). Ironically I did write out the epilogue the other day…not for sure how many chapters away it is though haha. I have a week before I go back to camp so I hope I can get a few chapters done before I leave.**

 **Funny story…not…I actually had this entire thing written out AN and all and when I went to save Microsoft shut down and restarted so I lost all of the AN and the entire flashback so this actually has been written twice.**

 **I usually try to respond to all of the reviews from each chapter but I haven't gotten to them for the last chapter and I'm so sorry. I will try to go back later and respond but no guarantees because it would be kind of pointless if I responded and you'd already written a new review for this chapter but, I will try. I would go back and do I now but it's 7:15 in the morning and I haven't been to bed yet and spent the last hour rewriting so I'm going to bed now.**

 **Thank you to all of you lovely people who are still reading, favoriting, following, and reviewing. I can't express how much it means to me.**

 _Rose 16 Dimitri 18_

" _Eat my snow!" I hollered at Dimitri as I skied past him._

 _"You wish," he taunted back pulling even with me. We were currently in a skiing race and I was trying my hardest to beat him. Aaron, Lissa, Dimitri and, I decided to spend spring break at one of Lissa's parents cabins at a ski resort in Massachusetts, well now one of her cabins since her parents passed away. It had been a struggle getting Olena to agree to let Dimitri come, I think it helped that he was already 18. My parents of course didn't care though I left out Dimitri coming with Lissa and me. We'd already been here two days and were leaving tomorrow so we were trying to make the most of our last day skiing. Aaron and Lissa had both been skiing several times so they were hanging out on the advanced trails while I was stuck on the medium level._

 _"I'm going to win!" I squealed pushing further trying to shrink my body in as much as I could so I would have less resistance. We were about 50 yards away from the bottom._

 _"Try harder," he laughed from about a foot behind me. I pushed harder and slightly pulled ahead. At about 30 yards away I was in front but barely when all of a sudden I heard Dimitri holler "Watch out for…"_

 _Next thing I knew I was tumbling down the slope. When I landed I luckily was on my back. I heard Dimitri ask if I was ok as he rushed over to me. As I caught my breath I started laughing._

 _"That was awesome!" I laughed._

 _"You're delusional. How hard did you hit your head?" he asked worriedly._

 _"I have a helmet on comrade, plus the snow cushioned my fall," I smiled leaning up on my elbows._

 _"You're lucky. You could have broken your neck," he said shaking his head as I reached out for him to help me up. when I was standing I smirked at him._

 _"You know what this means? I won!"_

 _"You fell down the hill, that doesn't count as winning!" he argued._

 _"I got to the bottom first. Unless you want a rematch," I grinned._

 _"No I think we're done for today, that just scared the crap out of me," he smiled pulling his ski's off. I grabbed mine that had fallen off in my tumble._

 _"Fine but tomorrow morning rematch and it's going to be on a hard trail!"_

 _"Absolutely not, you just almost died on a medium trail," he said sternly. "Next time we go skiing you can try a hard trail once you can prove you can handle the medium."_

 _"Next time huh?" I asked with a smirk._

 _"Well duh, we have plenty more spring breaks and vacations ahead of us, we're bound to come skiing again," he smiled down at me._

 _"Oh ok. Well then next time I think we should try snowboarding," I said with a grin._

 _"Deal," he said leaning down and kissing me. My chest was tight from all the happiness I was feeling. I wasn't used to this feeling but, it felt good. Even though we still argue and bicker, Dimitri has been an almost perfect boyfriend. We've been together for four months now and he still hasn't tried pressuring me for sex, he's actually the one that insists we wait until I'm 100% ready. Not even 99%. I laughed at that. That's why I've decided I'm going to surprise him and tell him I'm ready tonight. I've been thinking about it for a while and for a while I was thinking prom but that's too cliché, and we've had way too much cliché in our relationship so far. Plus we already are sharing a room and have been since we got here. I smiled up at him._

 _"I love you, Comrade."_

 _"ya lyublyu tebya," he smiled back saying the words in Russian. I noticed we were close to the lodge so I smirked up at him._

 _"Hey comrade, Race you!" I yelled taking off._

 _"Cheater!"_

"Rose, Roza…wake up," came a voice from in front of me. I opened my eyes to find Viktoria crouched in front of me.

"What's up?" I asked looking around. Adrian and Lissa were still sound asleep and it was still pretty dark outside.

"I saw the beginnings of a nightmare and thought I'd wake you before you terrify Adrian," she joked.

"Oh thanks," I said sitting up. She was right, I was at the point in my dreams where they normally started twisting and getting dark. "Did I wake you?"

"No, I was getting up because I was thirsty but I saw you start tossing so I woke you up first," she shrugged. I stood up and started for the kitchen with her before we woke up the other two. When we got to the kitchen I grabbed two glassed and filled them with water from the spout in the fridge door. I handed one to Vika before taking a sip of mine.

"I think I'm going to go sit on the back porch for a little while, want to come?" I asked not knowing if she planned on going back to sleep. Based on her the look on her face she hadn't just been up for a few minutes.

"Sounds good," she said. We silently made our way out there. We had to pass back through the living room but luckily they were both pretty heavy sleepers so they both stayed asleep. Lissa was a light sleeper when Aj was around but if she knew he wasn't there, she was out like the dead. We both went over to the lounge chairs that Liss had for sunbathing.

"Want to tell me why you were really up?" I asked. She shrugged.

"I couldn't sleep. I tired but I kept tossing and turning."

"What exactly was keeping you awake? Me? Or the things Camille said?"

"Both," she admitted. "I know you had reasons for not telling me but it still hurts. And the rational part of my brain knows Camille is just a bitch and was trying to hurt you by going through me but, was she wrong? I mean he didn't just leave you, he left all of us and never once tried to contact anyone. Is it really because he was ashamed of us? He found something better than his trashy family in Georgia and moved on?"

"First, Viktoria Belikova, you and your family are not trashy. Don't ever let anyone make you think you are. Second, no matter what his reasons are, he loves you to death. The reason I didn't want to tell you when I first found him is because I wanted to try to get answers from him first. I wanted to find out why he broke contact with me and with you all that way I could try to make sure when I did tell you I found him, he would stay this time. I didn't want to tell you I found him only for him to just leave again. He hasn't really told me why he dropped contact but I have gotten a few glimpses of why and I can promise it was all about him, not you or your family."

"Why do you think he did it?"

"Well I can't tell you exactly but I have a feeling it could have been drugs. He's hinted that he changed and did things he wasn't proud of and we all saw the tabloids showing him clubbing all the time. I think he got involved with drugs and became too ashamed to come back home or even talk to anyone at home. Plus I don't know how but I think Ivan's death had something to do with it all but I'm not sure how. Your brother isn't really an open book," I joked.

"But if it was just that he did drugs, why would he drop all contact. We would have helped him, not judge him," she said confused.

"Well for one Drug addicts don't think rationally and usually they don't want to admit they have a problem or need help. Calling home, someone would have figured out eventually, then he would be confronted and have to admit to a problem so instead of risking it he probably avoided it. Plus shame is a tricky bastard. It convinces you that you have to hide. I'm not 100% that this is what happened, he's never admitted it. Even if it is why, I feel like there's a little more to the story and that could be key to why he hid it all and dropped contact. You remember his first award show?"

"Yea, they won for best new artist and best rock band at the VMA's…" she said wondering where I was going.

"Do you remember his acceptance speech?" I asked she nodded but still looked confused. "'I want to thank my family for how supportive they've always been. To my mom for being such an inspiration and my 3 sisters for putting up with me throughout the years'"

"And to Rose for encouraging me to come out here and chase my dreams. I love you all," she finished.

"Does that sound like someone who's ashamed of their family?" I asked ignoring the part about me, I'd left that part out on purpose.

"No I guess not," she shrugged. "By the way I know you said something to him when you went to grab your sticks."

"I just told him he owes you an explanation even if he won't give me one. You deserve it. I think he will one day, right now he's just not ready to so I'd give him time. Don't use me as an example though. The first few weeks I asked constantly but all it did was cause more tension and problems. I still bring it up when he pisses me off or questions me about my past but I don't care if he gets pissed at me. It fuels my fire," I smiled. she shook her head at me. "I will say, he has changed. I don't know how he was at the hospital with you all or how he's been since we've arrived but don't exactly expect the old Dimitri immediately. I think he'll start showing up more now that we're back in town and he's around you all but if he doesn't always act like the way he used to, don't take it personal."

"He's been quieter and less affectionate but during the pool game after you said whatever to him, he did open a little more. He told me he's missed me and that he loves me. That's how I knew you said something to him," she smiled.

"Hey that was all him," I smiled back. "All I told him was he owed you an explanation."

"Whatever," she smirked not believing me. I shrugged. I waited for a few seconds before speaking again.

"Are we good?" I asked her.

"That depends. Can you forgive me for everything I did? I don't even know why I said all of that. You were right I acted childish and selfish. I can't believe I said what I did at the hospital. You came in after hiding my brother for 4 weeks and I just lashed out. I know that doesn't excuse my behavior but I am really sorry."

"I'm not going to lie, it hurt me pretty bad that you could say that to me but I understand lashing out," I told her honestly. "So if you can forgive me for not telling you about Dimitri right away, cause I was fully planning to tell you, then I will forgive you for the things you said. Just never try it again."

"Ok," she nodded. She smiled. "You strike a hard bargain but I guess that's fair. Just from now on, please be honest and up front with me. No more hiding things."

"More than fair," I teased. "Now how about we go back inside and try to get some more sleep. The sun is starting to come up and you look like crap."

"Gee thanks bitch!" she teased back standing up.

"Just telling the truth. That's what you just asked me to do," I joked standing with her as we started to head back in.

"Oh goodness! Why did I just make up with you?" she smarted off with a smile. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and smiled.

"Because you love me and I'm your favorite person like ever!" I said in my best valley girl voice.

"Shut up and go to bed!" she laughed. Before we got to the door, I stopped and faced her.

"Thank you for waking me up. This was a good talk. And that's probably one of the few times in my life where you'll ever hear me thank somebody for waking me up," I smirked.

"Anytime. You going to be ok? She asked worriedly.

"Yea, usually if I wake up and go back to sleep they don't come back so I should be good for the rest of the morning," I told her honestly.

"Ok, lets get some sleep. I'm exhausted!" she smiled. we made our way back in and slipped back into our pallet. As I got settled Adrian turned and cracked an eye.

"You ok Red?" he whispered.

"Yep, Everything's good. Go back to sleep, sorry I woke you," I smiled.

"it's k," he muttered already mostly back asleep I chuckled as I closed my eyes and drifted off right behind him.

A few hours later we all got up and decided to go to ihop for breakfast before Lissa had class. Luckily Fridays were her easy days so she only had one class at noon. We spent the morning talking about how it's been recording this duet then Adrian started telling stories of some of his most obsessed fans. Halfway through I got a text from Dimitri saying to meet him at the studio in an hour to record.

"So Vika, want to go with us?" I asked her as we walked out to the parking lot.

"Duh!" she said excitedly. "Shot gun!"

"I would invite you but I know miss goody two shoes would never skip class," I joked with Lissa.

"I can't if I wanted to, I have to work on my project," she said with a smile.

"Well I'll see you later. I'm not sure what this evenings plans are but I'll probably keep staying with you now that the witch is there," I told her with a grimace. She smiled.

"She was pretty bad huh? Christian was pretty nice though," she said excitedly.

"To you!" I exclaimed with a laugh. " I think somebody has a crush and I think it's mutual."

"I don't know, we'll talk about it later," she said walking towards her car. She turned back around before getting in. "No getting in fights with Dimitri today."

"I can honestly say, I will try my hardest not to. I'm tired of fighting with everyone," I shrugged.

"Good, keep that mindset no matter how much of an idiot he is today," she smiled getting into her car. Luckily we had brought two cars since she was heading to class after this.

"Ready?" I asked as I got into the car.

"Yep, I'm in control of the music," Vika said grabbing the aux cord. She put on one of the new pop hits as I pulled out and started my way to the studio.

By the time we arrived, Vika had us all laughing like crazy with some of the stuff she'd been playing, going all the way back to the 90's dancing and all. I'm not ashamed to admit when she played N'Sync, I sang every word. As Britney finished singing 'Oops I did it again', we all climbed out laughing at Adrian who surprisingly knew every word and had sang it at the top of his lungs. I looked up to find Dimitri looking over at us with amusement on his face. It looked like he'd just gotten there and was making his way inside.

"Having fun?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You're little sister is quite the DJ," I teased. "I invited her to come see how the professionals work."

"Professionals my ass," Adrian smirked.

"Glad you could make it," Dimitri smiled obviously glad to see his little sister. I tugged Adrian ahead so they could talk behind us. I heard him speak to her quietly behind us and smiled. "So I hear you want to be a song writer?"

"So what you said to Lissa when we were leaving, does that mean you're done fighting for good?" Adrian asked quietly wrapping an arm around my shoulders as we walked. I shrugged.

"I don't know, I'm sure I'll never be done fighting for good but, I'm tired of it. I have too much in my life, I don't need to constantly be keyed up from fights," I told him honestly but just as soft so that Dimitri wouldn't hear me. I did mean it. I am tired of fighting and I've come to realize it's pointless. I thought the way to get him to crack was to fight him at every turn but now being home when everyone keeps trying to get me to spill my secrets, I've realized I need to back off just like I've asked them to do with me. If he doesn't want to tell me, fine. Even though it's liberating as hell, it hurts just as much because I realize he may never trust me or care enough about me to tell me.

"I'm proud of you Red," he said squeezing my shoulder softly. I smiled sadly up at him as we reached the door to the sound booth. He opened it and let me inside. Once we were all in Dimitri set up the computer and stuff we'd need. Adrian went in and set up the mics.

"Ok, we're going to start off with a practice run through. If I feel like it's good enough we'll start recording," Dimitri said. I made my way into the studio and put the head phones on.

DPOV:

I pulled up to the studio and groaned. Honestly last night went pretty bad. After Rose mentioned Tasha calling her a whore, Tasha and I sort of got into it. She said that Rose must have just misheard her or misconstrued her words. I didn't believe it for a second but I decided to let it go for the night. Then I had to watch Adrian and Rose flirt all night, even though I knew it shouldn't bother me, it did. Mainly because I knew he would break her heart and I didn't want to see that happen. The pool part wasn't so bad, Viktoria hustled me, or I should say Rose did for her. It was nice playing with her though. Apparently, Tasha was saying stuff to Rose when I wasn't around because Adrian and Vika teamed up playing songs that they knew would piss Tasha off. As much as I hate to admit it, it was funny seeing them all laugh and dance like idiots. What's sad is there was no alcohol involved. I did apologize to Rose which is one positive of the night. On the way home though, that's when the drama started. I asked Tasha what she said to Rose and she kept denying it to the point even Christian told her to tell the truth. When we got to the house, Christian went inside and Tasha and I fought. She still won't tell me what she said but did admit to saying things. I told her that was completely unacceptable and if she was going to act like that she could fly her ass right back home. She apologized but we're still not talking really.

I saw the rental car pull up with music blaring. I got out and started for the door. When they got out of the car I saw Rose, Adrian, and Vika laughing hysterically.

"Having fun?" I asked curiously.

"You're little sister is quite the DJ," Rose teased her. "I invited her to come see how the professionals work."

"Professionals my ass," Adrian smirked.

"Glad you could make it," I told her honestly. Even though I'd probably never admit it to her, I missed her annoying ass, as long as she's not trying to paint my nails or do my makeup. Adrian and Rose went ahead so I slowed down to talk to Vika. "So I hear you want to be a song writer?"

"Yea, Rose won't let me live with her until I get a degree though," she said annoyed.

"So why not move out on your own?" I asked. I definitely didn't like that idea and was with Rose on the college thing but I was curious.

"I don't have the funds yet. Roza saved for almost two years before moving out there. I've saved for less than 6 months."

"Oh," I said softly as we approached the sound booth. Adrian held the door open for Vika before walking through himself. At least the kid had some manners. I set the computer and equipment up as Adrian set the mics up.

"Ok, we're going to start off with a practice run through. If I feel like it's good enough we'll start recording," I told them as Rose and Adrian made their way into the studio and put their headphones on. I gave the countdown and started the music.

"Since it's practice can I talk?" Vika whispered. I smiled.

"Yes, technically if it wasn't practice you could, it only records in that room, though I'd appreciate if you don't talk much while I'm recording so I can hear," I told her with a smile. I watched Adrian and Rose singing to each other and was swept up in the emotion with them. I have to say this song was out of Adrian's wheel house but it was good.

"Do they always sing with so much emotion?" Vika asked half way through. Rose had her eyes closed and you could feel the emotions rolling off of her.

"Pretty much. you know Roza, she doesn't know how to half ass anything," I joked.

"It must be a bitch if she sings a song about you," she wondered aloud.

"It's not the easiest," I joked.

"So she's sang songs about you to you?" Vika asked curiously.

"Quite a bit," I told her honestly.

"Damn she's got some balls," she muttered I looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Where did you learn to talk like that?" I asked wondering where my little sister went.

"Dude, my best friend is Rose. One of her greatest achievements, according to her, is learning how to cuss people out in 5 different languages as you heard last night. Where do you think I learned it?" She asked sarcastically.

"Me and her need to have a serious talk. My little sister should not be talking like that!" I said honestly not surprised. She's right, Rose is her best friend.

By now the song was almost finished. We sat and listened to the last few powerful notes from Rose and Adrian, then the closing notes.

"Damn that was awesome!" Vika said excitedly.

"Language! And they can't hear you. Press this button and speak towards this mic," I explained.

"Ok old man," she teased before leaning up and pressing the button. "Damn that was awesome!"

"Thanks. Think we're ready to record?" Rose asked.

"Uh hell yea!" Vika exclaimed.

"It's my job to decide that," I told her with a smile. It was amusing seeing her so excited. What's funny is knowing how tired she probably will be of the song by the time we're done today.

"So what do you think?" Adrian asked. I rolled my eyes but nodded.

"You're ready to record, you have it down almost perfectly," I said honestly. "From the top."

RPOV:

I find it really odd singing a song about lost love, and yearning for the man you love when your ex and his sister are sitting there listening. It's even worse when you're singing it as a duet with a man who your ex hates for some odd reason, that has also became one of your best friends…Unfortunately, that's where I found myself for the next three hours. First we had to go in and record the basic song, then Adrian had to record his extra background words, phrases and whatever else, then I had to do the same. By the time Dimitri decided we were done with the recording part, he just had to go in and do the mixing and whatever else producers do, Viktoria and Adrian looked bored out of their minds.

"Do you mind if I stay and watch you work?" I asked hesitantly. I knew what kind of position I was putting myself in but I was excited to learn more about what goes into releasing a single and the excitement of being almost done was giving me a buzz that I wasn't ready to end.

"Um sure," he shrugged looking up warily.

"How are we getting home?" Vika asked. "We Rode with you."

"You can take the rental and Dimitri can bring me back. If he doesn't mind," I told them grabbing the keys and handing them to Vika. Dimitri still looked a little worried.

"Uh yea I can bring you back but Adrians driving!" he said sternly. "It's in my name and I don't know how well you drive."

"You let Rose drive and not me!" Viktoria exclaimed. He shrugged smirking. "Ugh not fair!"

"Yea but I've seen her drive, I've never seen you drive and don't know your track record," he smirked. "I may not be Adrian's biggest fan but I know he drives well. Sorry."

"Gee thanks," Adrian muttered. "On that note, I'm leaving. Later Red."

"Bye Adrian," I called after him laughing at his reaction. Vika gave me a hug then Dimitri, told him thanks and followed Adrian. I took the seat she'd been sitting in while we were recording.

"You could ease up on him. He's not a bad guy," I defended him with a small smile.

"Yea well I'm not whatever you are with him," he said waving a hand at me. I just laughed instead of taking the bait.

"Adrian and I are nothing but friends. He's quickly became one of my best friends but that's it. I've already told him that I would never date him and he has no interest in dating me. Plus we both know he's not currently the dating type, and I'm not a hook up kind of girl," I explained.

"Then what's with all the flirting and everything else?" he asked.

"Because it makes me laugh and pisses you off. Haven't you learned that Adrian likes to push your buttons?" I laughed.

"Yea he definitely does," Dimitri muttered with an eye roll.

"Plus when he see's me upset or getting sad for whatever reason, he amps it up because he knows it will make me laugh at him. that's one reason it was so bad last night around Tasha," I told him honestly.

"Sorry about that. She won't tell me what she said but did admit she insulted you a few times. We actually are fighting over it right now," he sighed leaning back in his chair.

"I'm sorry," I told him. he raised an eyebrow at me. "Not that y'all are fighting cause honestly you're too good for her but I'm not arguing that battle right now but, that it's upsetting you."

"Thanks," he said softly.

"Thought we were supposed to be working on a song?" I teased.

"Yea, lets get to work. I'll show you how it all works. Grab those headphones so you can listen with me," he said getting back in producer mode. I smiled as I grabbed the headphones. Progress.

A few hours later we were finished. He had to send it back to LA to have the final master completed, then it was ready for release.

"Wow!" I said excitedly.

"You did it!" he smiled at me standing up and putting the laptop in his satchel bag. "You just wrapped your first single!"

"I can't believe it!" I said overwhelmed with excitement. I stood up and before I knew what I was doing I ran and hugged him. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome," he said shocked. I realized what I was doing and quickly pulled away.

"Sorry, I'm just excited," I smiled.

"It's ok," he said half-smiling back at me. "Come on. Let's go get some food and head home."

"Sounds like a plan," I said as he opened the door for me. On the walk to the car I was trying and failing to not think about that hug and how good it felt. Even though it was only a few seconds long, it had felt right at home. Like it was where I belonged, in his arms. I shook that thought away and spoke up to try and get my mind off of it.

"So how long until we hear it on the radio?" I asked.

"Honestly? Probably only a couple of days, if that. Depends on how fast they get it mastered and sent off to the radio stations. They're really excited and in a hurry for this single though so it shouldn't take long. They'll probably have the master done tonight," he explained.

"So I could be hearing myself on the radio in a day or two?" I asked not really believing it.

"Yep," he said as we got to the car. He opened my door and I climbed in. before he shut the door he laughed, "Close your mouth or you'll catch fly's."

"Shut up," I laughed knowing he was right, I'd been sitting there with my jaw wide open in shock. He climbed in on his side and started the car.

"Surreal isn't it?" he asked with a knowing smirk.

"I don't think it will fully hit until I hear it but yes. What was it like, your first time hearing your band on the radio?" I asked. At first I saw the darkness and shut down coming before he surprised me and actually spoke up.

"It was crazy," he said with a far-away look in his eyes. Luckily, he hadn't pulled out yet. "We actually were practicing for our upcoming tour and we broke for lunch. Ivan and I were headed to this little Italian place we went to often and there it was on the radio. Ivan pulled over and we called our bandmates and told them and then held the phones up to the speakers as we cranked it up. when it ended, we made our way to the restaurant and as we walked in, Ivan told the lady 'we were just on the radio!'. Of course, she thought he was crazy and just ignored it but we couldn't stop smiling."

"sounds awesome," I smiled.

"It was," he said shaking his head and pulling out of the parking spot.

"Can I ask a question?" I asked.

"It depends on what it's about?" he admitted.

"Why'd you change your mind about telling me that? I saw you shut down at first but then you changed your mind," I told him wondering if I was going to get an answer or not.

"I'm not really sure. I was about to shut down but then I realized there was nothing wrong with telling you that story and no reason not to. It actually felt good too. I usually just think about all the bad when I think of the ban and the past, it's good to remember there was good too. Can I ask you something?"

"It depends on what it's about," I quoted back at him with a smile. He grinned and rolled his eyes.

"Why are we getting along? Usually that conversation we had before we started mixing would have caused a huge fight," he admitted.

"I don't know. I just…Viktoria and I had a pretty good talk last night and as you can see we made up, all is forgiven but the relief I felt was just overwhelming. It made me realize I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of taking offense to everything you say and always searching for answers. So, I decided I was going to stop pushing. I'm not saying I'm letting it all go but I'm going to stop hounding you about it. I have my own secrets I'm not willing to share so I have to accept you do too."

"Very…mature," he said like he wasn't sure if that was the word he was looking for. "I appreciate it."

"So do I," I joked. "But seriously you should lighten up on Adrian. He's a good guy. He just hides it well."

 **AN: So I think I'm going to skip Rose and Dimitri's first time and just leave it like I did in the flashback. I had planned on writing it originally (Obviously a FF allowed version of it anyway) but I think it might be better if I don't. I don't know. I actually might skip the rest of Dimitri's senior year but I'm not sure yet. Tell me if there's specific things you all would want to read in the flash backs. I'm going to include Rose finding out and when she tells Olena, I know those tow have been big ones people have wanted to see. If there's anything else, let me know.**


	23. Chapter 21 Welcome to the Rodeo

**I am still alive! Sorry guys, This has been kind of a summer from hell and I really haven't had as much time as I thought I would to write. This week we're on staff break so I've been trying to write but now that I'm home and have time to write, things at home are blowing up majorly so I've been busy trying to deal with all of that. Sorry, I hate making excuses. I know you can totally tell that by me making excuses every other chapter. You do have to admit, I did really good for a while. I am thinking about quitting camp a little early so maybe if I do that I'll be able to write a lot more. If not, I do promise I'll try to write more when I can at camp. It's just usually when I'm at camp, whenever I have spare time I spend it sleeping because I'm always so exhausted. Who knows, hopefully I'll be able to update more.**

 **Anyways, I had a few people that wanted to see Dimitri and Rose's first time…I've never written a scene like that and tried not to write too much I kind of just skipped the R parts and kept it mostly Pg-13…if y'all don't like it let me know. It kind of got away from me at the end but I kind of liked it so I kept it haha. Let me know what you think!**

 _Spring Break Rose-16 Dimitri-18_

 _After dinner we sat around the fire for a little while joking and laughing around. I started getting nervous, even though I knew it was crazy too. I was 100 percent sure about Dimitri but still nerves were attacking. Part of me wanted to fake being tired so I could get Dimitri upstairs but the other part of me was too scared too so I was stuck not doing anything._

" _You Ok Roza? You're very quiet tonight," Dimitri said rubbing my knee looking at me worriedly._

" _I'm good. I'm just sad we're leaving tomorrow," I told him only partially lying. I was sad we were leaving but that honestly hadn't crossed my mind until now. Lissa looked at me with a smirk. I had told her of my plans earlier._

" _Hey Aaron, its getting late. Why don't we head up to bed and get some rest for the drive tomorrow?" she asked standing up and grabbing his hand._

" _Sure," he smiled. I'm sure he was all too ready to 'go to bed'. I groaned at the directions my thoughts had taken as Lissa looked over and winked at me. Dimitri gave me a weird look having heard my groan. I just smiled and shook my head._

" _Why don't we go up to bed too?" I asked Dimitri._

" _Are you sure? You usually stay up a lot later than this," Dimitri remarked. God, he was too observant. I nodded. He stood up and offered me his hand. I took it as I stood up. instead of walking though, he released my hand and put his arms around me. He leaned down and kissed me as I reached up on my tip toes._

" _This has been a great trip," he said as he pulled away._

" _The best," I smiled before smirking up at him. "But I have a way to make it even better."_

" _How?" he started before he caught on. "Roza we don't have to. This is the perfect trip-"_

" _I want to," I cut him off putting my finger against his lips. "It's not something I've taken lightly but I want it to be you and now. I love you and I know you love me. That's all I need."_

" _Are you sure?" he asked looking pained as I trailed my hand from his lips and down his chest and stomach to the button on his pants._

" _Positive," I smiled at him. "100 percent."_

" _Then why are we still down here?" he smirked. He reached down and picked me up, cradle style. I laughed as he made his way towards the stairs._

" _In a hurry?" I teased him._

" _A little bit," he smirked down at me. I just laughed and shook my head. As we got to the room he somehow opened the door then kicked it closed with his foot as he made his way to the bed. He threw me into the middle._

" _Really?" I asked him though I couldn't find it in me to even slightly be upset right now. I got on my knees and made my way to the edge where he was standing. "That's not very romantic."_

" _Eh, I had to seize the opportunity," he teased back. His hands were playing at the edge of my shirt where it had started to rise from being thrown onto the bed. I reached my arms up around his neck and started playing with his hair._

" _Keep seizing those opportunities' and you'll miss this one," I teased leaning up to kiss him._

" _Is that right?" he asked raising his eyebrow. He leaned down and kissed me so hard I lost my train of thought. I think I mumbled a slight 'Mhmm' but couldn't be sure. He smiled against my mouth knowing he'd won this 'argument'. He leaned over me as I pulled my legs out from under me and laid back on the bed. He laid over me not putting his whole weight on me. Before I knew it, kissing wasn't enough as I pulled his shirt up, he quickly stood up and discarded it as I sat up and pulled mine off too._

 _Before I knew it, we'd moved onto the bed where my head was actually on a pillow and most of our clothes had been shed. He pulled away and looked at me sincerely, "Are you sure? We can stop now if you want?"_

" _Positive, keep going," I panted not sure how he'd managed two full sentences._

 _When it was over, we laid in bed, me curled into his side with my head on his chest._

" _You ok?" Dimitri asked. I smiled._

" _I'm perfect," I said contentedly. "Was it worth the wait?"_

" _It was everything and more," he said sincerely. He put a finger below my chin and tipped my head up to look at him. "I told you, you were worth the wait."_

" _I'm glad," I smirked at him happy to hear it._

" _I love you Roza. So much," he said softly._

" _Ya Lyublyu tebya," I told him back in Russian. He smiled as I laid my head back down on his chest. "It's going to stink when we get back and can't sleep in the same bed anymore. I sleep better when you're around."_

" _I know. I sleep better when you're here too. But soon I'll have my own apartment and even though you can't actually move in, you can come stay whenever. Then when you turn 18 and graduate, we're going to move to Tennessee and get our own place. Then you never have to sleep anywhere else."_

" _I wish you would go to college instead of waiting for me," I told him knowing it was a useless argument. His plan was to go to the closest community college and get his basics while working on his music. Then when I graduate and go to Tennessee since I've all but actually received the scholarship there, he's going to move there with me and focus on his music._

" _I'm not waiting for you. I'm saving money by going to school here and saving up for when we move to Tennessee," he said for the 100_ _th_ _time._

" _But you have all these scholarships to great schools where you can major in music and have a full ride."_

" _Roza, I'm not leaving you here by yourself. Even if we never started dating I was going to stay here. The only part I'm changing is when I leave here with you which helps me anyway because we're moving closer to the music capital of the country."_

" _I just don't want to end up one of those girls who holds her boyfriend back and then he ends up resenting her," I admitted._

" _Do you want to hold me back? Or do you want me to succeed?" he asked softly._

" _Succeed, always. But most girls always want their boyfriend to succeed but it doesn't mean they don't end up holding them back," I said running my fingers over his chest softly._

" _We're not like that. You help me and push me when I need it. You've believed in me and my music since day one. I need you. You would never and could never hold me back. You help me soar."_

" _You're an ass," I told him looking up at him._

" _How am I an ass now?" he asked bewildered._

" _Because how the hell am I supposed to argue with you about it now. I can't beat that," I laughed softly._

" _I win," he smirked._

" _Oh just shut up and kiss me," I laughed. He did._

 **Present-**

After Dimitri and I went through one of our old favorite drive-thru's, we made our way back to the Belikovs. Dimitri immediately went off to find Tasha and I assume try to end their fight. Olena and all the girls were in the living room while the kids napped. I told them about finishing the single and they all freaked out.

"Luckily for y'all, Sonya decided to have her baby on the best week possible cause this weekend is the rodeo and fair, so we're going out to celebrate!" Vika said excitedly. "And it's family friendly so Sonya and Karo can come too!"

"Yes I timed my baby just so Roza could come back for the rodeo," Sonya laughed.

"Aww Sonya, thanks for being such a great friend and thinking of me like that! You know how much I love them cowboy butts!" I joked.

"You and me both!" Karolina joked. Every one looked at her shocked. "What a girl can look!"

"Gross," Dimitri said coming into the room, Tasha right behind him. "Why are you talking about cowboy butts?"

"It's rodeo weekend," I explained with a smile knowing how much he hated hearing any of his sisters talking about men.

"Guess that's the plan for tonight?" he asked.

"Duh!" Vika laughed. "Plus we have to go celebrate!"

"Oh she told you we finished it? I forgot to tell you, since it's Adrian and you, they're releasing it on itunes next Tuesday. There's no need for publicity build up with Adrians name attached to it," he said with a half grin.

"What?" I asked in shock excitedly. Vika jumped up and hugged me.

"I'll buy it!" she said excitedly.

"That's weird," I smiled.

"Get used to it Roza, we've still got a ways to go," he smiled at me. He grabbed Tasha's hand and started for the door. "We're gonna go hang out for a while. We'll be back later to get ready for the rodeo."

"I just noticed, Adrian and Christian aren't here?" I asked as they left.

"They decided to walk into town, too much estrogen here for them," Sonya laughed.

"Now they see what poor Dimitri went through his whole life," Karolina laughed.

We spent the next few hours talking and gossiping. Thankfully nobody brought up the past. we talked about Tasha, I told them about my two run ins with her before coming back here and the song I wrote for her. Olena scolded us telling us we needed to be nicer but we could all see she hated her just as much. Adrian and Christian made their way back and actually seemed pretty excited to go to a real rodeo. Soon it was time to get ready. We'd made plans with Lissa and Mason to meet at the rodeo.

Tonight, I decided not to keep it as simple. I curled my hair…well Vika did because I couldn't figure out how with it this short. I borrowed a pair of Vika's jeans with the 'diamonds' on the back pockets, they were a little small for me so they really accentuated my butt and topped it off with my favorite cowboy boots. On top I had a burgundy long sleeve shirt but from the tops of my boobs all the way to the middle of my bicep it was lace and the sleeves from the elbow down were wide and flowy. For make up, I went with a brown smoky eye and a dark pinkish nude matte lipstick.

"Dang Roza. You looking to get laid tonight cause you just might be the talk of the town!" she teased.

"Oh shut up," I laughed.

"I'm just saying, if them cowboys see you they won't be able to concentrate," She smirked. I rolled my eyes.

"Is Nikolai going to be there?" I asked. She nodded shyly.

"Well he's going to break his jaw when he see's you," I told her. She was wearing jeans similar to the ones she let me borrow, a purple halter top, it had a silver band below her boobs and the straps that went around her neck were silver. Luckily for her there was a full back on it or else Dimitri wouldn't have let her out of the house. Plus she was wearing a jean jacket until we got inside. She curled her hair and pinned one side back, and did a really pretty black smoky eye with pink gloss to top it off.

"You think so?" she asked hesitantly.

"Definitely! Let's go," I said grabbing her and heading downstairs.

"I'm glad we made up, it was nice to get ready together," she laughed.

"Yea it was," I smiled back at her going down the stairs. Unfortunately, because I looked back at her I wasn't watching where I was going and missed a step. I started to fall forward but immediately crashed into a hard body. I heard a grunt and looked up to find myself half standing, half collapsed on Dimitri. He wrapped his arms around me to stabilize me.

"Hey comrade, thanks for being there," I said trying to make light of it. I put my hand on his chest to push myself back into a full standing position but when my hand connected I froze.

"Are you ever going to quit being a walking accident," he smirked down at me. Damnit if my body didn't betray me and melt a little more towards him.

"I don't think so," I smiled back at him. I heard Vika clear her throat behind us and jumped. I pushed myself into a standing position as Dimitri backed away. I pointed down the stairs, "I'm just gonna…"

"Yea, I'm going to check on Tasha," he said pointing up the stairs. I made it a step or two down when I heard him hit the landing I turned and faced Vika who had a Cheshire grin on her face.

"Don't say a word!" I whisper warned. She made a zipping gesture across her lips but kept the smirk. I rolled my eyes and made my way downstairs. Adrian, Christian, Sonya and the baby, Karo and the kids and, Olena were all down there.

"You ok there red?" Adrian said walking up towards me, luckily no one else heard him. "You look a little flushed."

"Yea I almost fell down the stairs," I told him with a smile. "Kinda knocked my breath out for a minute."

"Yea, luckily Dimitri caught her," Vika smirked from behind me just soft enough for Adrian to hear. He raised an eyebrow as I turned to glare at her.

"Et tu Brutus!" I whispered. She laughed.

"Aunty Roza, we're going to the Rodeo!" Paul squealed coming up to me.

"I know! Isn't it awesome!" I told him with as much enthusiasm.

"Go put your shoes on or you're not going anywhere," Karo told him so he ran off to his room. By now Dimitri and Tasha were making their way down. I avoided looking at him and turned towards everyone else. Out of the corner of my eye I saw that Tasha was wearing a short black dress that hugged her figure and barely covered her ass. At some point she'd bought some designer cowboy boots but you could tell they were the fake ones made for a fashion statement, not to get dirty. They were black with gems and rhinestones.

"So how are we doing the car situation?" I asked.

"Mama, Karo and the kids are going in Karo's van. I can take three of you in my car and the rest can ride together," Sonya explained.

"Well I think I'm going to Lissa's after, I think we might pull another slumber party if Dimitri, Tasha, and Christian want to ride with you that way no one has to bring us back," I suggested looking at Dimitri.

"Sounds good. I don't mind riding with the baby," Dimitri smiled.

"We're not taking your truck?" Tasha asked.

"Well I mean we can if you want but it makes more sense to carpool as much as we can, parking can be hard to find," Dimitri said reluctantly. "Plus it gives you some time to get to know Sonya."

"Ok, I guess that's fine," she smiled but everyone could see it was fake, at least I could. I grabbed the keys to the rental.

"We'll see you guys there!" I said walking out. It looks like they'd made up but I don't understand why. She obviously hates everything about being here. I don't understand how he can put up with it. Adrian, Vika and I climbed in the car and as soon as the doors shut Adrian spoke up.

"So you fell right into his arms?"

"Shut up. Viktoria was supposed to not talk about it," I said annoyed.

"I told Adrian. That's not that big of a deal. You've told him almost everything!" she defended.

"Yes but he's as bad as you at letting things go. He's going to say it was fate or some shit like that that and say it's cause we still love each other," I said rolling my eyes.

"He's right here and you're not wrong," Adrian piped up from the backseat putting his arms on the corners of the front two seats and resting his head on them.

"Put your seatbelt on!" I told him. "And yes that is wrong because none of that is true."

"You should have seen it. I thought they were about to make out on the stairs," Vika laughed.

"Guys, seriously. I fell. He caught me. That's it. It was pure coincidence. No, we were not about to make-out and no it was not fate, it was an accident."

"It was fate!" Vika laughed.

"Accident!" I argued back.

"Fate!"

"Mommy died of a broken heart didn't she?" I joked referring to one of our favorite childhood movies, Practical Magic.

"Yes," she laughed.

"I'm so confused," Adrian said between us making us laugh harder.

"It's from a movie we used to watch when we were kids, they were talking about whether their son in law was killed by a family curse or an accident. It's a great movie," I smiled. "Lissa and I were obsessed so we forced Vika to watch it with us one day and she fell in love with it too. We watched it so much the disk finally broke. We had to keep one copy at all of our houses."

"Oh," he said still sounding confused.

"We're watching it tonight!" Vika declared and I laughed.

"Sure," I agreed glad we'd moved on from the incident in the stairwell. Vika turned on some country saying we needed to get in the rodeo mood. Her and Adrian then got in a debate on what country really is.

By the time we got to the arena they were in a heated debate and I was laughing my ass off. They were two of the most stubborn people I'd ever met. Viktoria stood firmly on the "This new shit isn't country, good, but not country," Where Adrian said it was all country, "Rapping and all".

"Ok you two, we're here. Put the claws away," I laughed.

"Tell him that I'm right!" Viktoria said crossing her arms.

"I'm Switzerland, I like it all," I said shaking my head. Sonya pulled up beside us as Viktoria and Adrian made their way to my side of the car.

"I like it too but it doesn't mean it's country!" she argued. Dimitri stepped out of the car. "Dimka, Tell Adrian that the new pop country is not country!"

"Like Florida Georgia Line?" he asked, she nodded. "It's not country."

"See! I told y'all! Adrian thinks it is and Roza won't answer!" she complained. I rolled my eyes. I went to help Sonya get the baby while they argued. Dimitri, Tasha, Vika, and Adrian headed towards the venue continuing their debate while Christian trailed behind them.

"Those two, I swear!" I laughed. "Can I carry her in?"

"Sure," she said like she was surprised I asked. "Want to use the wrap or just carry her? I was planning on using the wrap."

"I can carry her for now," I smiled reaching for her. She put her in my arms and I smiled at her. She was sound asleep from the car ride, even pulling her out of her seat hadn't jostled her out of her sleep.

"She's already like her aunt Rose," I joked.

"That's it, not that she's less than a week old," Sonya laughed.

"Hey Zoya screamed like the whole first month,' I reminded her.

"That's true," she laughed remembering when Zoya was born. That girl spent the first year screaming, now she's as sweet and quiet as can be. "How are things?"

"Things are good. Dimitri and I are getting along right now. Viktoria and I made up. I have a single releasing next week. I have this beautiful girl in my arms and I'm on my way to the rodeo. I'd say that's pretty good," I smiled softly at her.

"That's good. It's good to be happy. I know that being back here for her birth was hard but it is ok to be ok."

"It's hard but I'm managing," I told her not wanting to admit how her words struck a nerve. I didn't want to admit that every time I felt happy or forgot for two seconds I felt extremely guilty and like I was the worlds worst person. How can I be happy when my baby isn't here because of me?

"I know you are. I already see so much change just from you being gone for a few months. It's done you good," she said as we started getting near the gate. "I think it will do you more good if you tell him but I won't argue with you on that right now. Just a suggestion."

"Well thanks for the suggestion but I'm not going there right now," I said stiffly as we got to the gate. Adrian came over to me as we approached.

"We already got your tickets," he said handing me mine as Dimitri came over and handed Sonya hers. "We're going to go get seats while Dimitri and Tasha wait for Karolina and Olena. I think we saw them heading to the parking area a second ago."

"Ok sounds good," I said while we walked inside. Mason and Lissa were already here so I had Vika text them since I still had the baby. I had to switch arms because she was getting heavy but I wasn't ready to give her up yet. She said that they were already sitting and had two rows saved for us. I'm sure everyone loved that. Luckily as busy as the rodeo gets, we've never packed the stands. We found them quickly and sat down. Not far behind us, Dimitri and everyone else followed. Paul threw a fit that he wanted to sit by me and Dimitri so Sonya went to the row behind me so she could be near the baby, paul sat on my left with Dimitri and Tasha to his left. On my right was Viktoria, Adrian, Mason, Lissa and Christian. Behind me was Sonya with Karolina and Zoya and AJ on her left and Olena on her right. Aj had insisted on sitting with Zoya and Karo told him to sit up there with her. The first event was bareback horse riding. When it started I laughed at Adrian and Paul who both spent the whole time on the edge of their seat. Paul asked a million questions and Dimitri and I took turns answering. Half way through Katya woke up and started getting fussy. I propped her up in my lap so she was sitting up facing me and started doing baby talk to her while bouncing my legs. I felt Dimitri's stare so I turned towards him.

"What?" I asked with a smile when I saw he was indeed staring. He shook his head like he hadn't realized he'd been staring. "You want to hold her?"

"No, I mean that's not why. I will if you're ready to give her up. You're just really good with her," he said with an embarrassed smile. I laughed.

"I've had practice with all of these munchkins," I smirked.

"I'm not a munchkin Aunty Rose, I'm a little boy," Paul said defensively. We both laughed at that.

"Do you want to hold her though? I've hogged her enough," I smiled. He shrugged but looked excited. "Lean back or forward Paulie."

"Geez!" he said annoyed standing up. I laughed and passed her over to Dimitri.

"Watch her head," I warned.

"I know," he said.

"Just checking," I told him. he started playing with her like I'd been and my heart twisted. I tried to push it away because seeing him play with his niece was adorable but I just kept thinking what might have been. I turned away as Paul cheered and tried to focus on the riders. Adrian put his hand on mine and squeezed. I smiled at him as if to say 'I'm ok' and went back to watching the rodeo. When bareback was over they made an announcement that if kids wanted to participate in the sheep chase, be at gate 116 by the end of team roping.

"Can I do it Aunty Roza? You told me I could do it this year last time!" Paul asked me excitedly. I looked back at Karolina who nodded yes.

"Well I guess if you're good and promise to be good the rest of the night I'll take you down there," I smiled.

"Uncle Dimka! I get to chase a sheep!" he said excitedly to Dimitri.

"But why?" Tasha said disgustedly.

"Because it's fun duh!" he said not fazed.

"Paulie we don't talk like that to people. What do you say?" I reprimanded though I wanted to give him a high five.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said duh to you. That was rude but, it was true," he said sulkily. I laughed quietly not letting him know I thought it was hilarious.

"Ok well bulldogging is about to start so I'm going to go on a food run. Any body want anything or want to come?" I asked.

"What's bulldogging?" Adrian asked.

"A man on a horse chases a calf, jumps off throws it on the ground and twists it's neck so it cant move," I explained.

"Yea, I'm staying, unless you really want me to go with you?" he said hesitantly.

"I'll go with her. I was going to get food too," Dimitri volunteered standing up and handing Katya back to Sonya.

"Anyone want anything?" I asked standing up and looking at the people on the back row and to my right. A few minutes later Dimitri and I were headed towards the concession stands.

"Still hate bulldogging?" Dimitri asked with a smirk.

"It's inhumane! They practically rip the poor things head off!" I said defensively.

"It doesn't hurt it," he laughed.

"I don't care, it looks like it hurts it and that's all that matters," I said defiantly crossing my arms as we got to the concession line.

"Ok," he chuckled. I rolled my eyes.

"I don't know why we're still having this argument when I've hated that event since I was 8," I said annoyed he was laughing at me.

"I know, it's just funny how somethings never change," he smiled.

"I guess," I shrugged realizing he was right as he went up to the window and ordered the same thing he's always ordered, chili cheese fries and a coke. He changed it though when he added a water and a pretzel with no salt. He turned towards me but I shook my head.

"I've got ours," I told him. He shrugged and paid knowing it was pointless to argue. When it was my turn I ordered two barbecue nachos, cheese fries, 2 sprites and a root beer. I wasn't sure how I was going to carry it all but I was hoping they had those long boxes. Dimitri and I stood off to the side waiting for our food to cook.

"This might mess up our current truce but I have a question," Dimitri said hesitantly.

"Ok?" I asked worriedly.

"Why did you change your mind about kids? I see how good you are with everyone else's, why'd you decide you don't want any now?" he asked. Guilt twisted in my chest as I shrugged.

"I just changed my mind," I said not wanting to tell him the truth.

"I don't believe that. You don't have to tell me because I know I don't deserve to know the answer but, I know you're lying," he said softly. I saw the sincerity in his face and melted.

"Look this isn't a conversation to be had while waiting on food at a concession stand but the truth is, I can't. I've accepted it and moved on. That's that," I said as they called Dimitri's order. He muttered a soft 'oh', and went over to the concessions. He asked them if they had a box he could put it all into they said yes so he came back over to stand with me as they got a box and waited on the rest of my food.

"I'm sorry to hear that," he said softly putting a hand on my shoulder. "I know how much you wanted kids."

"It's fine," I shrugged feeling the guilt twist even further. "You and Tasha seem to be doing better?"

"We're ok," he shrugged pulling his hand away. "I told her that if she pulled another stunt like last night she could fly her ass back home by herself. She apologized said she would be on her best behavior from now on. She said she just got a little jealous and took it too far."

"I'm sure," I muttered. "I'm glad you're ok though."

"Thanks," he smiled at me. They called my order so I walked over to the concessions. Before I could grab the food, Dimitri grabbed the box. I grabbed lots of extra napkins, the drinks and some plastic forks. Luckily the drinks were all bottles so they were easy to carry.

When we got back to the seats I passed out the drinks as Dimitri passed out the food. By the middle of the third event, team roping, Paul wouldn't sit still so I decided to go ahead and take him down to the gate.

"I'm going to win!" he said proudly on the way down.

"Oh yea!" I laughed.

"Yep and Uncle Dimka is here so he's going to see me win!" he said excitedly. I stopped him and crouched in front of him.

"Uncle Dimka is going to be proud of you whether you win or not. Want to know a secret?" I asked with a smirk. He nodded.

"Uncle Dimka and I did this when we were your age and neither of us won, he came close but he tripped when the sheep turned quickly and another boy won."

"Really?" he asked.

"Yep, so you see Dimka is just going to be happy you tried it as long as you have fun. He and I laughed about it for the next month. That's all that matters, that you have fun trying," I smiled tousling his hair and standing back up. It amazed me how much Dimitri's opinion still mattered to Paul. He hasn't seen him since he was 3 and yet he still idolizes him. Not that it's really a bad thing, it just shows how pure a child's love is.

Pretty soon the roping ended and they called all of the kids to line up in the center. Paul excitedly ran out and immediately searched for Dimitri and his mom in the crowd. When he found them his face lit up and he waved enthusiastically before turning towards the MC talking in the middle of the arena. He explained the rules then moved off to the side to do the countdown. I laughed at the look of concentration and determination on Paul's face as the countdown started. They released the sheep and I smiled at all of the kids chasing it around. I remember the year Dimitri and I did this same event. I got so frustrated because it turned out harder than I had expected but laughed when Dimitri fell and almost ended up in horse poop. It ended up making up for all of my frustration and I wouldn't let Dimitri live it down. I could see the same frustration starting on Paul's face but it was quickly replaced by determination as he ran even faster. Soon enough he had actually been the one who had managed to get the flag off of the sheep. I started to cheer but was startled by a deep holler beside me. I turned to find Dimitri standing there. I looked at him questioningly.

"I decided to come down here for when he came back," he shrugged. I just smiled and turned back towards the arena. Paul was already running towards the gate.

"I did it Aunty Roza! I won!" he exclaimed jumping into my arms as I crouched down. I laughed.

"I saw! You did so good!" I told him hugging him tight. He saw Dimitri and pulled back.

"Uncle Dimka! I won!" he shouted running to hopping over to him and showing him the flag.

"I saw! It was awesome!" he exclaimed also crouching down. "Why don't we go show that off to your mama?"

"Yea!" he said proudly. Dimitri scooped him up and put him on his shoulders. I watched the look of wonder and pride on Pauls face and my heart melted. "Look Aunty Roza! I'm so tall!"

"Oh my goodness! You're the tallest person here!" I exclaimed. He smiled proudly. Dimitri turned and started heading back towards our seats. As he turned my heart stopped. For a second instead of seeing Paul, I saw a different little boy. One with my hair and Dimitri's eyes and smile. I froze and couldn't move as the image choked me and I couldn't catch a breath. I closed my eyes.

"Roza you coming?" Dimitri asked in front of me. I tried to take a deep breath and opened my eyes. Dimitri was looking at me worriedly while Paul was looking at me impatiently. I smiled and nodded my head.

"Yea I'm coming but I'm going to stop by the bathroom on the way since I'm already down here," I told him needing a minute.

"Geez girls go potty a lot!" Paul exclaimed. I smiled not fully able to laugh yet.

"You ok?" Dimitri asked still looking worried. I tried to put on the most reassuring smile I could manage and nodded.

"All good," I said giving a thumbs up as I walked the opposite direction. I tried to shake the images out of my head but they stuck. I went into the single family bathroom and locked the door behind me. I leaned against the sink and took some deep breaths.

"Why? WHY Damn it?!" I exclaimed. I'd been doing so good. Dimitri and I were getting along, I was having a fun night. That's why though. I was having a good night. I groaned in frustration as the guilt started to consume me again. Sonya's words replayed in my head. As well intentioned as they were, she was wrong. Maybe the guilt would lessen if I told him. it would never fully go away though. How could it?

Someone knocked on the door and I jumped. "Just a second," I called through the door. I checked my face. I never cried so my make-up was still good. I did have a little black from the mascara under my eyes so I rubbed it off then put a fake smile on and made my way out the door.

The rest of the night passed by pretty smoothly. I never got to the happiness from before but I was able to fake it well enough. It came pretty easy to fake it after all of these years. I could tell Adrian and Dimitri didn't buy my act as easily as everyone else but neither actually said anything. By the time I'd gotten back, Nikolai had arrived and Vika moved to the back row with him. Lissa was pretty absorbed in Aj and Christian so they didn't pay attention.

When the Rodeo died down, we took off and made our way over to Lissa's. This time Christian decided to join us. Lissa put Aj to bed as we started Practical Magic. Lissa, Vika and I annoyed the boys by saying our favorite lines with the characters. Mason joined in a few times when he knew them. This time we all made it through the movie and when it was over we actually went up to the guest rooms. Luckily, she had just enough for all of us to each get our own room. That night I dreamt about Rodeos, Dimitri, and our little boy.


	24. Chapter 22 Triggers

_**Guys! You are all so amazing for waiting so…somewhat…patiently. I appreciate it so much! This summer was a really rough one so I wasn't able to update like I had wanted to. I'm so sorry. This chapter is going to have some mixed reactions. I think for the most part everybody will like (maybe even love) it but if you're like me, you might not…I will say this chapter does not mean anything…you'll understand more when you finish it…guess I'll let you get to it now…let me know what you all think!**_

 _ **Ps. If anyone wants a job at a special needs camp in north Texas this fall or next summer let me know :)**_

 _ **Rose 17 Dimitri 19**_

 _"Hey babe," I said climbing into Dimitri's truck. I leaned over and kissed him quickly before sitting back. "Where are we going?"_

 _"Well I have some stuff to talk to you about so I thought we could go out to the pier?" he said looking a little nervous but also excited._

 _"Ok?" I laughed. "Sounds good. Do I even get a hint?"_

 _"Nope," he smiled grabbing my hand._

 _"Even if I beg?" I said pouting my lip out a little._

 _"We're less than five minutes away," he laughed. "You can wait. It's good though. I promise."_

 _"Fine," I relented jutting my lip out even more. He smirked at me as he pulled me across the seat to sit beside him. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder as I laid my head against his shoulder. He kissed my head. I brought my hand up and held his hand that was sitting on my shoulder and smiled. "I love it when you do that."_

 _"Kiss your head?" he asked. I nodded. He did it again. "I know."_

 _"So arrogant," I teased._

 _"Oh is that what I am?" he asked with a smile._

 _"You know it's true," I smirked._

 _"It's not arrogance if I'm right," he retorted._

 _"It still counts," I said as he pulled into the pier parking lot. I don't know why someone decided to create a huge pier on a lake but there was a little park next to it that I had always loved to run to. The first time I tried to run away from home I ran here and hid in my favorite tree until Dimitri found me and convinced me to come back. Ever since it's been my retreat and Dimitri always comes either to help with whatever or just sit with me. As special as the lake is, this has always been the place I've considered as mine and Dimitri's spot because he's the only one that's ever been here with me._

 _"Well if I'm so arrogant, I guess I can just wait to tell you my news," he smirked down at me as he put the truck in park._

 _"You wouldn't?" I gasped._

 _"Try me," he grinned._

 _"Ass," I said slapping his chest. He climbed out and put his hand up to help me down._

 _"You're not helping your case," he teased walking ahead of me._

 _"You suck," I mumbled. Walking up to catch up with him._

 _"What was that?" he asked as I caught up with him._

 _"I said you're amazing and my favorite boyfriend ever," I smiled innocently up at him as I grabbed his hand and entwined our fingers._

 _"Mhmm I'm sure," he said looking down at me._

 _"I did. And did I mention I love you?" I smiled brightly at him wrapping my other hand around his arm._

 _"Oh you do?" he asked. "Do you always call the ones you love arrogant asses?"_

 _"Only those that are extra special to me!" I told him sweetly._

 _"You're lucky I love you too. You're a pain in the ass," he smiled down at me._

 _"But I'm your favorite pain in the ass," I joked. He leaned down and kissed me as I melted into him. I pulled back and smiled softly up at him. "Hey comrade?"_

 _"Yes?" he asked._

 _"Race you!" I laughed as I pulled away and took off running._

 _"Cheater!" he hollered before taking off after me. As we neared the tree he pulled even with me. About ten feet away he sprinted ahead and just barely beat me. We both leaned against the tree to catch our breath._

 _"Don't you know cheaters never win," he smirked._

 _"You could have let me win," I pouted._

 _"You and I both know that would have made you even more mad than just losing," he smiled. I rolled my eyes knowing he was right. "Want to go up?"_

 _I went over to the crevice where the trunk kind of split off into two and started climbing. I felt Dimitri behind me, spotting to make sure I didn't fall even though I'd climbed this tree hundreds of times. I smiled at his overprotectiveness and secretly relished in it, though I'd never admit that to him._

 _"I'm not going to fall," I told him as I climbed onward._

 _"I know," he said as he started climbing below me. When I got as high as I could without fearing the tree would collapse beneath us both, I stopped and scooted out to make room for him. Luckily this was a very thick and old tree so even all of the branches were nice and thick. I looked out over the waterfront. This tree was also on a hill so you could see far and wide but were surrounded by enough trees that no one else could really see you unless they were looking hard. Dimitri climbed beside me. He straddled the branch and leaned against the trunk. I scooted closer toward him then faced away as I threw my left leg over the trunk and leaned back into him and he wrapped his arms around me. We sat there in silence for a few minutes before I spoke up._

 _"So what'd you want to talk about?" I asked softly._

 _"Well I have some news," he said sounding nervous again._

 _"I figured that part out," I teased._

 _"Well it's good news and bad news. I sent my cd out to a band that's heading out to LA. They got a record deal but one of their members quit so they were needing someone else to take his spot and well they liked what they heard and asked me to come out to LA with them."_

 _"What?" I gasped sitting up. Unfortunately, I leaned up too quick and almost lost my balance. Dimitri grabbed me and steadied me. I turned to face him "Comrade that's amazing. A band and a record deal all in one!"_

 _"Yea," he smiled excitedly. Then all of a sudden his face grew sad. "But it means I'll have to move out to LA with them."_

 _"Oh," I said softly looking down. I paused for a minute letting it sink in before looking at him. I grabbed his hands in mine. "Well we can figure it out. This is too awesome to pass up."_

 _"Really?" he asked kind of shocked._

 _"What did you expect me to demand you to stay?" I asked with a small laugh. He kind of shrugged._

 _"I'm not really sure what I expected. I'm not even really sure how I feel about it all yet," he admitted._

 _"Feel excited. This is the opportunity of a lifetime. I love you and I know you love me and that's all that matters. You and I are strong and can make it through long distance. That's why there's phones, and planes and buses," I saw he was still hesitant. "Your family will be just fine too. I know you feel like you have to stay here and take care of them but Olena raised you and your sisters on her own, she can handle getting Viktoria through high school. Karolina and Sonya are starting their own lives and will be happy for you. Plus, you know I will be here to keep an eye on Vika."_

 _"That's not helpful," he joked. He reached up and tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear before cupping my cheek. "Who will be here for you though?"_

 _"I'm a big girl comrade. I can handle myself," I smirked._

 _"Yea you can," he smiled at me. I could see some of the tension start to ease. "You really think I should go?"_

 _"I think I'll kick your ass if you don't."_

 _"What did I ever do to deserve you?" he asked with a smile._

 _"The truth is you really don't, I'm just settling for you," I teased._

 _"Oh really?" he smirked._

 _"Oh yea," I smiled. He leaned down and kissed me. After a few seconds, I slightly pulled away and whispered against his lips, "Definitely settling."_

 _"I'll show you settling," he smirked before kissing me again. This time it was more intense as my arms came up and went around his neck, his went to my hips and pulled me closer. I wrapped my legs around him so that they were on him but my butt was still on the branch. After a minute or two he pulled back. "Still settling?"_

 _"Not at all," I said softly looking up at him slightly dazed. He smiled down at me._

 _"I love you," he said softly._

 _"I know," I mimicked his words earlier. I still had my hands around his neck so I pulled his hair out of his ponytail and ran my hands through it. He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against mine. He started to lean back into the tree trunk so I unwrapped my legs from him and straddled the branch in front of him but leaned forward so I stayed against him. I pulled my hands down and put them on his sides as I rested my head on his chest and looked out towards the lake. We sat there for a while before either of us spoke up._

 _"When do you leave?" I asked softly._

 _"Two weeks," he said running his hand through my hair._

 _"That's not very long," I murmured._

 _"I don't know how I'm going to tell mama," he said worriedly._

 _"She's going to be happy for you. They all will be. I'm sure they'll be a bit shocked but then they will be thrilled for you. We all know you don't want to be taking classes at the community college but that's what you insisted on so we've gone with it but all of us have known you're meant for more. Trust me they'll practically be pushing you out the door," I smiled. "And just in case this is one of those nonexistent times when I'm wrong, I'll be there with you if you want me to be."_

 _"No one else I'd want there with me," he said with a smile in his voice._

 _"Smart words Belikov," I told him. I sat up and looked at him. "Want to go now? Only Olena is home so we can start out with her and go from there."_

 _"Good idea," he smiled. "What would I ever do without you?"_

 _"Luckily for you you'll never have to find out."_

 **Present:**

"Wow Rose, you look like shit," Mason greeted me as I walked into the kitchen.

"Gee thanks," I muttered reaching for the coffee pot and pouring a cup of coffee. I took a long drink of it and stood there for a second feeling it flow through me. I turned back towards Mason.

"I'm just saying. Did you sleep at all last night?" he asked.

"Not really. The nightmares hit full force last night so around 2 I just stayed up and wrote a little bit before finally falling back asleep between 5 and 6," I told him leaning back on the counter. He was the only one in here right now which I was glad for.

"Is being back here triggering them?" he asked worriedly.

"No, it was the freaking rodeo," I said sadly. He looked confused. "It's a long story that I'd rather not bring up again."

"Ok," he said sipping his coffee. I knew it was slightly bitchy but I didn't want to tell him it's because when Paul was on Dimitri's shoulders it got me thinking about Connor and how it could have been him if it wasn't for me. Honestly, I just kind of wanted to try and forget it all. If only for a little while. Luckily, Mason let it go. "So, what's the plan for the day?"

"I really have no plans for today. I'm sure Vika will want to do something tonight but other than that I just plan on hanging out," I said shrugging my shoulders. About that time Lissa and Christian came in the room.

"Wow Rose, you are definitely a morning person," Christian smarted off.

"Oh, aren't you hysterical," I rolled my eyes.

We spent the rest of the morning hanging out not really doing anything. Christian cooked us all breakfast. Surprise of the century, he can really cook. Then we watched some cartoons with Aj. All in all, it was a great morning. Early that afternoon somehow found Christian and I walking to the store for some groceries for Lissa's house. He volunteered and I said I'd go with him to show him where it is.

"So, what's your story?" I asked him.

"What's it matter?" he questioned back.

"Because it seems like Lissa really likes you and I can tell you seem to like her back. I need to make sure you're ok and not going to end up hurting her. Cause I'm warning you if you do, I will chop your balls off and shove them down your throat," I warned.

"Good threat. I liked it. Most people would have just stopped at the balls part," he smirked.

"Oh, it's not a threat. It's a promise," I smiled. "She's been through enough shit in her life. She doesn't need more."

"So do you say this to all the guys interested in her or specifically me?"

"Honestly? You're the first since Aaron she's really been interested in longer than a date or two. Don't tell her I told you that. Also, it doesn't help that I kind of can't stand your aunt. I need to make sure you're not like her, no offense."

"Gee you're so nice," he said sarcastically.

"I'm sorry but Tasha's a bitch. I mean I am too but she's a lot worse than me. You can't tell me you haven't seen that."

"I'm sorry about that by the way. Probably the only time you'll ever hear me apologize to you but she does really seem to hate you. Probably because you're her boyfriend's ex. Not that it's an excuse. She's normally not like this," he said. I raised my eyebrows at him. "I'm serious. When I was younger my parents passed so she took me in and raised me. She didn't have to but she did. But as the years have gone on she's changed. I'm not stupid and going to still say she's perfect and nice. I don't know if it's being in Hollywood or the fame getting to her but I have noticed she's gotten a lot worse but she is my aunt so I still have to stand by her."

"I can admire that. It's important to stick by loved ones so you do get brownie points for that. Doesn't mean I approve just yet," I told him as we neared the store. "You know she's a packaged deal and her son is always going to come first right?"

"As he should. I have no problems with her being a single mother and Aj seems like a great kid. I do think this is kind of an intense conversation when we haven't actually gone on a date yet."

"I'm just saying. That's something you should consider before you ever go on a date. Do you see this as a fling while you're in town? Cause Lissa is not a fling type of girl," I warned as we walked in.

"I don't know exactly where I see this going but I know I really like her and I'm not going to lead her on. I don't do flings either. The last thing I want to do is hurt her," he said honestly. I wouldn't admit it but he had won me over. I appreciated his honesty. While it didn't change my thoughts on Tasha, it did help me understand him more. That doesn't mean I won't still be watching him closely. She is my best friend after all.

"Ok. I'll accept that for now," I nodded approvingly.

"Does that mean I have your approval?" he asked sarcastically.

"It means I won't get in your way but I will still be watching you. Now let's get these groceries and head back," I told him.

After we had checked out and were on our way back, I heard a voice from my past. I froze instantly. I turned towards Christian. "Please stay here." Before turning towards the voice.

"Janine. What are you doing here? Figured you'd abandoned this town right after you abandoned me," I said sharply walking towards her.

"Rosemarie is that anyway to greet your mother?" she admonished.

"Well if I had one probably not," I smarted off.

"Oh, is that how we're playing it. 18 years of raising you and suddenly I don't exist."

"You didn't raise me. You let nanny's do it until you thought I was old enough to not need one then Olena and Mrs. Dragomir took over. Then when I actually needed you, you kicked me out on my ass and abandoned me. Don't pretend like you ever even wanted to be my mother," I spat.

"I didn't abandon you. You weren't following the rules despite Stan warning you multiple times. You were told, you couldn't follow the rules you leave."

"Oh yea, that's what happened. Don't even try to pretend that's why you kicked me out. Why are you even here?" I asked pissed off. "Shouldn't you be at work?"

"I'm on leave."

"Is Stan in town also?" I asked her fearing the answer. I wasn't scared of Stan but he's the last person I ever wanted to see again.

"Yes. And you shouldn't call your father by his name."

"Well good thing he's not my father," I smarted off. I saw her look shocked. "Yea don't worry I've known for years. He made it pretty clear the night he kicked me out that I was never his and he never should have pretended he was because I was such a disgrace. Which finally made sense of why he always told me I was a whore and going to follow my mother's footsteps. I just don't understand why you kicked me out for being just like you. Hypocrite much?"

"What the hell are you talking about Rosemarie?"

"You know what, it doesn't even matter. Pretend you have no idea what I'm talking about and that I was just a brat who couldn't follow the rules. We both know the truth and the truth is when I needed my mother the most, you abandoned me and my 'father' disowned me and told me the truth. Pretend like you're high and mighty and did no wrong, that's fine. I know who my real family is and that's all I need," I told her honestly trying not to cry. I was beyond pissed and hurt and didn't want her to see it. I turned away and walked past Christian as he walked beside me. The rest of the way to Lissa's house he respected my need for silence. When we were outside the door I paused.

"So I think I'm going to keep walking. I really don't need to be around people right now. Can you just tell them I'll see them later. I have my phone and the keys are inside if they want to leave," I told him honestly.

"I understand," he nodded. I knew he hadn't heard most of our conversation but he'd still seen it. I smiled gratefully as I walked off. Before I knew it, I was at the park by the lake. I made my way over to my tree and started climbing. When I reached as far as I could go I stopped, straddled the branch and leaned back into the trunk of the tree.

The last time I'd been here was the day before I left Baia. I sat up here for hours wondering whether I should leave or not. I knew I'd wanted to go but as ready as I was to leave, I didn't want to leave the people I called family behind. I knew I wouldn't pull what Dimitri had, how could I after all they'd done for me. Before today I hadn't seen my mother since 2 months after Connor. I didn't tell her about him. At the time I was too depressed and in too much denial. She was home for a day and a half and I spent maybe 30 minutes with her. Years later I thought back to that day and realized how pissed I was that my own mother hadn't even realized something was wrong. Then when they found out about Connor by looking through my medical bills, they kicked me out and called me a whore. Well in her defense Stan did the actually kicking out and calling me a whore. She couldn't even be bothered to show up and kick me out herself. As grateful as I was for the Belikovs and for Olena stepping up where my mom failed, it still hurt. For her to pretend as if it was my fault they kicked me out. I have never told anyone what Stan had told me. A part of me hoped he'd been lying but another part of me hoped he wasn't. Based on my mom's face, I can successfully say he was telling me the truth. I don't understand why he pretended to be my father but that at least explains why he's always hated me.

I have no idea how long I sat there but I did see the beginnings of the sunset start up. I heard a rustling beneath me and looked down to find Dimitri climbing up.

"I figured you'd be here. Lissa's been worried about you. You haven't been answering your phone," he said as he reached the branch I was on. I pulled a leg over so both legs were on the same side and scooted down to give him space to sit.

"I didn't figure you would come looking for me," I admitted.

"Roza, you've been gone for 6 hours. Of course, I came looking for you."

"I saw my mother today," I sighed.

"I heard."

"First time since I was 17. She pretended like it was my fault they kicked me out the first chance they got. She had the gull to say she raised me and I am just unappreciative."

"She's an idiot. It's not your fault she can't see what an amazing daughter she has," he said and I could see the sincerity in his eyes.

"Stan's not my dad," I told him looking back over the water. I saw Dimitri look shocked out of the corner of my eye. "he told me the day he kicked me out. A part of me always doubted him because I knew he'd always hated me and I thought that sounded like something he'd say just to be a dick. Today after seeing my mother's reaction when I told her what he said confirmed it was the truth. Guess I really am a bastard. Funny, I always thought that word was so dated yet as soon as she confirmed it that was the first thought to pop in my head."

"I'm sorry Roza. You deserve better than both of them."

"I mean I guess I should be thankful. That means I'm not related to that asshole. It also finally explains why he's treated me the way he has all these years. I finally have all of these answers and I'm not related to him. I should be happy, shouldn't I?" I asked turning towards him as the tears I'd been holding in all day started flowing. He scooted over closer to me and wrapped his arm around me. I laid my head on his chest as I let it out. A part of me was embarrassed to be crying on his shoulder but the rest couldn't care less. "I don't even know why I'm crying over them. They don't deserve it."

"Because even though she was a shitty mother you still love her. We both know she wasn't made to be a mom and did a pretty bad job of it but you still love her and still want her love in return."

"Nope, I hate her," I said frustrated not wanting to admit he was right.

"That's your anger talking," he said calmly.

"So, what if it is. She was a horrible mother and a bitch and kicked me out when I needed her the most!"

"But you still love her."

"Well she's my mom. Of course, I care about her. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her but that doesn't mean I want anything from her," I said softly. He gave me a look but didn't say anything. He knew I wasn't in a rational mood right now. After a few minutes of silence, he spoke up again.

"I'm working on Vika. I never thought about how much my actions would hurt her. Thank you for taking care of her. And everyone else."

"You know she's like my little sister. They are all like family. They've been better to me than mine ever has," I told him, the last part coming out more bitter than I'd intended.

"So you going to stick around this time?"

"I'm going to go back to LA but I won't run away again," he said honestly.

"That's good. They've missed you. And it looks like you've missed them too," I said softly looking up at him. He still looked guarded but I could see a lot of his barriers had lifted.

"I have. You're not going to ask again?" he asked.

"Would you tell me?" I sighed.

"No," he admitted.

"Then what's the point? You have your secrets and I've got mine. I can't expect you to give me answers when I won't give you mine," I told him looking out over the lake again.

"So where does that leave us?" he asked. I shrugged not sure how to answer that. We were silent for a few minutes before I spoke up.

"Who would have thought we would end up like this?" I asked leaning my head on his shoulder softly kicking my feet back and forth.

"Not me, that's for sure," he snorted. "I am proud of you though."

"Why?" I asked confused.

"Because. I won't pretend to know what you've gone through but I can tell it broke you but here you are surviving. You've never had an easy life but you've always fought and made it through. You're so strong. Probably stronger than you even realize. You may have had weak moments but here you are still surviving. It's admirable."

"I'm not really that strong," I said embarrassed and ashamed. If I was as strong as he thought I would have told him by now. I would have told him from the beginning.

"Yes you are. Always have been."

"It doesn't feel like it," I admitted. He wrapped his arm around me.

"As strong as you are, it's ok to be weak sometimes. And it's ok to let others in."

"I'm not so good at that part," I chuckled.

"I know. I'm not either. I think that says why we made such a good pair. As friends and in a relationship," he smirked down at me.

"We should probably work on that. Though I have never had that problem with you. I don't know why but I've always been an open book with you," I told him honestly.

"And me with you," he said quietly. I looked up and was shocked by what I saw. All of his guards were gone. I could see all of the emotions he'd been hiding. The pain, sadness, guilt and even a little bit of hopefulness.

"Oh, comrade," I said softly raising my hand and touching the side of his face. This was my Dimitri. The one who never hid anything and always showed he cared. He leaned down slowly and before I could comprehend it, we were kissing. Softly at first but it quickly turned into a heated passionate kiss. I wrapped my hands around his neck and slid my hands down his shirt feeling his hard muscles. About then his hand started to slide up my shirt and it was like ice water.

"Stop," I said pulling away and grabbing his hand.

"What?" He said still caught up in the moment. I could see the when the fog lifted cause his mask came back on as he sat back up. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

I wanted to say it's ok or reassure him someway but I couldn't.

"I can't Dimitri. You have a girlfriend. And even if you didn't I still couldn't. I'm sorry," I said sadly sliding around him and climbing down.


	25. Chapter 23 Missed Oppurtunities

**Hey Everyone! So it wasn't a month long wait this time! It very well could have been because I struggled a lot with this chapter. I actually had an entire different ending to it and was going to make it a two part but it didn't feel right. I'm sorry but you all are going to hate this chapter BUT just think it's one more chapter closer to the happiness at the end right? Does that actually help? I don't know. Just know I'm sorry. This was always supposed to be part of the plot…with that said. ENJOY! Hopefully.**

 **Let me know what you guys think…then again maybe not…well yes go ahead please. I don't mind if you cuss me out. I actually get kind of amused by it so go ahead if you want to!**

 _ **Rose- 17 Dimitri- 19**_

 _I glanced over at the small box peeking out of the grocery bag on my sink._

 _"No," I told myself adamantly out loud. There's no way I'm pregnant. "It's not possible!"_

 _Yet if that's true, why have I found myself sitting on the floor in front of this toilet three times already this week? At first I pushed it off as maybe I was getting a stomach bug, then the second time, maybe I just ate something bad? Then I realized I was a week late for my period and have been having some weird mood swings. I got the test yesterday and told myself if I still hadn't started by this morning, I would take it just in case. Now here I am, once again in front of the toilet after puking my guts up staring at a tiny box like it held the answers to the universe._

 _I slowly got up and went and brushed my teeth. Then I went out into my room and grabbed a water bottle and downed half of it before heading back to the bathroom. It's now or never._

 _Exactly 4 minutes later, I found myself back on the bathroom floor but for a completely different reason. I stared at the little pink plus sign praying it would change. There's no way that could be right. I'm on birth control. I grabbed my phone and scrolled to Dimitri's name then I paused. He's leaving today. If I tell him he'll stay. Do I want him to? I don't even know what I'm doing right now. Maybe I should wait and tell him later after he's already in LA and we can talk about it then? Do I even want a baby right now? Does he? Abortion is definitely not an option, not for me anyways. I'm only a junior in high school though._

 _About then my phone started ringing. I accidentally dropped it then it took me a few seconds to pick it back up because my hands were shaking so bad. I quickly answered trying to get it before it went to voicemail._

 _"H-h-h-e-eyy," I said, my voice shaking._

 _"You ok? You sound weird," Dimitri said sounding concerned._

 _"Yea, I'm good. Just feeling a little off today. Maybe it's a bug or something," I said trying to pretend to be a bit more cheerful. Luckily he wouldn't expect me to be super cheerful today._

 _"Oh ok," he said unsure. "Still want me to come get you now?"_

 _"Yea of course. I'll be ready in like ten minutes if you want to head this way," I told him. He wanted to spend his last night at home with his family but as soon as they'd all gone to bed, he'd snuck over here and stayed with me until early this morning._

 _"Ok, I'll be there in a few. You sure you're ok?" he asked._

 _"I'm fine. You worry too much," I teased. "I'll see you in a few minutes. Love you."_

 _"You too," he said before clicking off. I rolled my eyes. Truth was I was honestly surprised he'd noticed I sounded off. The last week he'd been off. I don't know if it was just the stress of moving, his anxiety or what but he'd been running hot and cold all week and had seemed really distracted. Not that I'd been much better with all of this going on. Now I have less than ten minutes to decide what to do. Do I tell him or no?_

 _Unfortunately, ten minutes later when he pulled up, I'd still not came to a decision. I hurriedly made my way out the door and into his truck._

 _"Hey babe," I said more cheerful than I felt._

 _"Hey," he said pulling the truck out of the driveway and onto the road._

 _"You all packed and ready?" I asked._

 _"I was packed yesterday, you know that," he smiled. I rolled my eyes._

 _"Oh, sorry I forgot some people are weird and pack super early," I teased._

 _"It's not weird and it's only a day early. Some of us actually like to make sure we have everything we need and are not late. Plus, now it gives me extra time to hang out today," he explained._

 _"I guess that's true," I admitted._

 _"Did you just agree with me? You are feeling off today. I hope it's nothing serious," he said worriedly. Now was my chance, the perfect opportunity._

 _"Well actually…" I started before really knowing where I was going with it. I paused to gather my thoughts as he glanced at me worriedly. About then we tuned on his street and I saw the huge banner they'd hung on the porch that said 'Farewell Dimka' in Russian. I'd forgotten they were going to do that. they were all standing on the porch wearing party hats and those little blow toys that roll out when you blow into them. "Well actually I'm feeling a lot better."_

 _Later, definitely later._

 **Present:**

I made my way back to Lissa's. Thankfully everyone had left. Hopefully for the night because I really didn't want to see anyone. I walked in and sighed as I plopped on the couch.

"You ok?" Lissa asked coming to sit by me.

"Where's Aj?" I asked.

"With the Belikovs. He wanted a sleepover with Paul and Zoya and I figured you would need a friend."

"I know you're expecting me to talk about my mom but something else happened," I said closing my eyes and leaning back on the couch.

"I'm going to assume something with Dimitri since he texted me about 15 minutes ago saying you'd be here soon," she said warily. "Did you fight?"

"No, it was worse than that. You can not judge and have to be on my side on this," I warned.

"Did you sleep with him?" she gasped. My first reaction was to be pissed that it had even crossed her mind then I realized I did kiss him so…she took my reaction as a yes. "Rose!"

"I didn't…but we did kiss…" I said putting my head in my hands. "I didn't mean to but he found me in one of our old spots. We talked about seeing my mom today and everything I found out, I'll get into that later. Then we started talking like we did before he left. Next thing I knew we were kissing. I'm not for sure who initiated it but I certainly didn't stop it. Not until his hand came close to my scars. Then I stopped it and left. I'm a slut. He has a girlfriend and I kissed him!"

"Ok well first off, you're not a slut. It was an accident. We all make mistakes. What does this mean for you two now though? Are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know. I know it can't mean anything. We can't go there again even if he goes home and breaks up with Tasha right now, we can't. I can't. It just, it was too much like the old days. Being in our old spot talking about my family issues. It was just like high school. Before I knew it, I was sucked into the old emotions. I do need to tell him. I know I do. I just can't yet. I will though."

"I wouldn't wait too much longer but I do understand. I'm glad you've finally decided to tell him."

"Eh," I shrugged not knowing what to say. "He deserves to know. But you can't push me. I will tell him when I'm ready."

"Do you want to talk about what happened with your mother?"

"Well, she blamed me for her kicking me out and tried to act like she was right to do it. She kicked me out because she went through my medical bills and found out about Connor then tries to blame it on me not following the rules or some shit. I literally had just lost my baby and she kicks me out then blames me. Then, and this is the kicker, she confirmed that Stan is not my bio dad. So, I have no father."

"What? Oh my goodness!" she exclaimed surprised. "Wait, what do you mean confirmed?"

"Well when Stan kicked me out, he told me he wasn't but I didn't know if he actually wasn't or if that was his way of disowning me and trying to hurt me. At the time, I didn't really think about it because I was too wrapped up in everything else but when I mentioned it today her reaction confirmed it."

"Oh Rose I'm so sorry," she said sadly. I shrugged not really wanting to talk about it anymore.

"It's whatever. I guess it's a good thing I'm not actually related to that monster."

"Any ideas who it is?"

"No and honestly I doubt I ever will. I don't want to talk to her again anytime soon, possibly ever and I sure as hell want nothing to do with Stan ever again," I told her honestly.

"I'm sorry. You deserve better than those…jerks!" she said so adamantly it made me laugh. That was the equivalent of her cussing someone out.

"So, You don't have to but we were talking about taking you out to celebrate your finished song. Vika was wanting to go into the city and actually hit a club. Instead of the places around here but if you're not up to it we don't have to," she said hesitantly.

"No, that sounds good. I know you're about to hate what I'm about to say but I'm considering going back to LA soon. Like in the next couple of days," I told her honestly.

"What? Why so soon?"

"A couple of reasons. One I don't want to run into my mom again and definitely not Stan. Don't get me wrong if that was the only reason I wouldn't leave because I won't let them run me off like that but it's not. I also think it might make things easier for Dimitri. He needs time to reconnect with his family on his own without worrying about his ex showing up everywhere. I know it stresses Tasha out and causes problems between them and as much as I hate to admit it I can't blame her. How would I feel if the guy I think I'm in love with's ex girlfriend is living with his mom and sister's, godmother to one of their babies, and constantly around? Plus, finishing this single makes me anxious to work on more and while I can't actually do that without a producer, I can write. And I have a ploy for Adrian but I need him back in LA."

"I mean I understand but I don't like it. I think you're running away from your problems so you don't have to deal with them right now but I get it. Just promise you will still tell him," she said sadly but without a fight. It was something I'd had in the back of my mind since yesterday and I wasn't for sure if that's what I wanted just yet but I figured it's easier to prepare her for it now.

"I can't promise when it will be but I will tell him," I told her honestly. And I meant it. If it was me, I would want to know and even though it will kill me, he deserves to know.

She let it go and we made our way to her master bathroom to get ready. Vika, Mason, and Adrian came back over to get ready. Well the boys were already, ready so they watched TV while we got ready. Christian was going to but there wasn't enough room for six people in the car so he figured it'd be better if he stayed with Tasha and Dimitri over Adrian. They'd just meet us there. Since we were going clubbing we all wore outfits a little more risqué than normal. I wore a black dress with a strip of leather at midthigh, it was long sleeve but had a low cut front that followed the line of my bra and had corset type ties all the way up the arms and down until mid-back. It was tight and hugged my figure but also left plenty of room for movement and to breathe. I had Vika curl my hair again and went for a smoky eye with red lips and paired it with red high heels. Lissa wore a white, one shoulder chiffon dress that hugged her curves and had a black belt around the waist. The one sleeve was a see-through lace. She went with a natural eye that accentuated her green eyes and pulled her up in a cute updo to accentuate her neck. Vika went with a black and purple mini dress. From midthigh to her waist was tight black leather, the top was a strapless purple chiffon material that tied in a knot at the top of her boobs and was loose enough to not be too much but tight enough to show off her boobs. She left her hair straight but put a little wave in her ends to make it frame her face and give it extra volume. She did a purple smoky eye with a dark nude lip.

"Are we allowed to leave the house like this?" I laughed after checking everyone out. "I feel like we're prostitutes."

"Whatever, we're hot," Vika smirked. "Plus we don't have anything showing that shouldn't be. Embrace it."

"I don't know," Lissa smiled. I knew she was conflicted. As a mom, she hated to dress this way, as a woman, she loved it.

"Trust me Liss, Christian is going to hit the floor when he see's you. You look amazing. Plus you look the most modest out of all of us," I teased. She smiled at that and checked herself out again.

"Pregame selfie's?" Vika suggested. We nodded and spent the next 10 minutes posing for pics until Adrian hollered at us. When we made it downstairs we took a few more with the boys.

Finally, 45 minutes later we arrived and had found a table. Honestly I loved dancing so I loved coming here. Though I loved actual dancing more than just the grinding. There's a reason I learned to ballroom dance in high school. We had all just gotten our drinks when Dimitri, Christian, and Tasha arrived. Dimitri's eyes widened a little when he saw us but I quickly looked away so I wouldn't notice his reaction. I laughed when Christians jaw dropped as he ran over to Lissa. My laughter froze though when I noticed Tasha, she was too happy. Practically radiating joy.

"We're engaged!" Tasha squealed as she reached us. Sure, enough I looked at her hand to find a ring, and not just any ring. Pain shot through every nerve ending on my body as I lost my breath. On her finger was Yeva's wedding ring that she'd saved for Dimitri to give to his future wife. He'd shown it to me a couple of months after we'd been dating saying that he intended to give it to me one day. Everyone at the table seemed shocked as well but were able to smile and offer their congratulations. I felt Adrian's hand on my knee and pretended to smile. I didn't say anything. One, because I didn't think I could get the words out and two, because everyone at this table knew anything I would have said would have been faker than her nose. I looked up at Dimitri who was giving me a look. I knew he wanted to talk to me but I couldn't. Luckily, I knew he wouldn't ask me to go anywhere with him with her right there and he wouldn't mention anything in this crowd of people. As much as I wanted to run off, I knew if I did he would corner me. I sat there in agony as I watched everyone congratulate them. I know that I've said that we could never be together again but I never realized it would hurt this bad to see my ring on someone else's finger.

"Breathe," Adrian whispered in my ear. That's when I realized I'd been holding my breath. I took a ragged breath as tears welled up. I looked down and pretended to look at my phone as I blinked them away. I refuse to cry in front of Tasha. Dimitri and Christian headed over to the bar to get everyones next round and I used it as my cue to escape for a minute or two. I waited until Dimitri was actually talking to the bartender to head towards the bathroom knowing it was my best chance without him cornering me.

"Adrian please do not let him come near me tonight as best you can. I can't talk to him tonight," I whispered to him before making my retreat. I made it to the bathroom and locked the door. I slid down the door as the tears hit. I took a few gasping breaths as I tried to will the pain and tears away.

"No," I told myself. "I'm not going to sit here and cry over him."

I've been in this situation before and I wasn't going to go back. If he wants to marry that bitch then good for him. I'm Rose Hathaway (guess now I understand why I had my moms last name instead of Stan's but that's to save for another day). I've been through hell and back and that hasn't broke me, this won't either. How dare he kiss me then go get engaged to her within a few hours? Nope this is not going to get my tears.

I stood up feeling empowered and angry. I went over to the mirror and checked my makeup. Thank God for waterproof. I fixed the little bit that had smudged and reapplied my lipstick.

"You're Rose Hathaway Damn it. You've survived worse and he's not worth your pain," I said giving myself a pep talk. Unfortunately it was only ¾ working. The other part of me was thinking about how I just wanted to fly back to LA and put this trip behind me. I had started to let my guard down and this is what I got. No more.

As I left I crashed into a hard body. I looked up to see Dimitri.

"We need to talk," he said.

"Not really," I said more cheerful than I felt. I started to walk away before changing my mind and turning around to him. "Tell me Dimitri does she know about earlier? I'm going to assume not. It's ok, I wasn't expecting anything to come of it. It was really, a horrible mistake but still. That's low even for you."

"It's not like that, can I please explain?" he begged.

"I'm sorry Dimitri but I really don't want to hear it. I knew better than to let my guard down with you again and yet I did so that's on me. Really though there's nothing to explain. She's your girlfriend and now I guess your fiancé, you should go celebrate with her. I'm fine and I'll be fine. I'll see you around," I said with a note of finality and force that I didn't actually feel. I turned and walked off to the table. When I got there Adrian looked apologetic.

"I'm so sorry! I was trying to watch him and watch to see if you had left the bathroom and when I checked by the bathrooms he disappeared," he said apologetically.

"It's fine," I smiled softly. "I got out what I needed to then left. How about we dance? I need a distraction."

"You sure?" Adrian asked warily. I knew his hesitation. All I really wanted to do was leave this place as soon as possible but if I did, they would win and there's no way I would let Tasha beat me. I knew that's why she announced it like she did, just to rub it in my face. Even though I was dying inside I was not about to let her see it. I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the dance floor. The first song that came on made me laugh, it was a remix of the song 'GDFR" or in other words "Goin' Down For Real". Adrian raised an eyebrow knowing where my thoughts had went but I shrugged it off and tried to lose myself in the music. In middle and high school, I'd used dance as an escape. The only one I ever really opened up to had been Dimitri and even then, I tried not too as much as possible for fear of sounding weak or helpless so I used dance. I loved softball and it would always be my favorite sport but even after Connor after I'd quit softball and dance altogether, I found myself in the studio trying to dance the pain away. Obviously, it hadn't worked but it was a nice release.

Next was "Work from Home" by Fifth Harmony. I stayed with Adrian and went a little dirtier this time around without being vulgar. I felt Dimitri's eyes on me but I tried my hardest to ignore it. So, the night went. Pretty soon everyone else joined us, Dimitri and Tasha were on the opposite side of our little circle so I made sure to keep my eyes away from that direction. After a while they played 'Wobble' which happened to be my favorite line dance and by the end of it I actually felt lighter than I had all day. We made our way back to the table as the guys went and got everyone drinks. I stuck with water knowing even though it would be so easy to fall into my old patterns of drinking the night away, I didn't want to. How's that for growth? I find out my father isn't my father, make-out with my ex who then gets engaged to another woman in just a couple of hours and still manage to only have one alcoholic beverage. Honestly, I was pretty proud of that decision, not that I'd let anyone else know. Though I could tell by the look on Lissa and Mason's face they were surprised themselves. Fortunately no one else at the table knew how hard I'd fallen into the bottle during my depression. I'd hid the worst of it from Vika and never opened up to anyone else about it. I wasn't an alcoholic by any means, I could go without alcohol no problem. I just had a habit of using it to numb the pain when it got to be too much. That's why I only drank occasionally. Here lately there'd been a lot of celebrating and going out so I'd decided tonight I was only going to have one or two.

"Hey Vika, I was wondering. As Dimitri's sister would you like to be one of my bridesmaids?" Tasha asked loudly. I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

"Um well that's really nice of you to ask," Vika said hesitantly put on the spot. She glanced over at me but I pretended like I wasn't paying attention. As much as I wanted her to say no for me, I wanted her to say yes for her. It was Dimitri's wedding after all.

"You don't have to decide tonight, I just thought I'd go ahead and ask. I figure we'll have our wedding shortly. No sense in having a long engagement, we've already been together for four years now."

"Where are you thinking of having it?" I asked catching her off guard. Yes it hurt to be talking about it but I wasn't going to back down. She'd brought it up to hurt me so I was going to act like it didn't bother me at all.

"Oh um I'm not sure yet. I've always though a destination wedding on a private island would be amazing of course then we'd have to worry about flying everyone in. friends, family, paparazzi. Though a castle sounds great too," she smiled.

"Have you talked to Dimitri? He's always wanted a quiet country wedding. Just family and close friends," I smirked knowing I'd pissed her off by knowing something she didn't about him.

"Well like I said nothings for sure. We've only been engaged for a couple of hours," she smiled. By then the guys had all come back and handed out the drinks.

"What are we talking about ladies?" Adrian asked with a smirk.

"Just girl talk," I smiled. inside I wanted to scream but I held it in. I leaned over into Adrian for support and he wrapped an arm around me pulling me closer to him. I knew on the outside it looked a lot more intimate than it really was and laughed a little on the inside when I saw Dimitri's face. He tried to remain impassive but I saw him narrow his eyes just slightly. I sat there quietly while everyone took turns telling stories or talking about things they'd been up to. I even found myself laughing a few times.

"Wait, I thought you said you didn't dance?" Tasha asked Dimitri as Vika was telling a story about my freshman spring show and the prank I'd pulled.

"Did I? Oh," Dimitri answered knowing he was about to get caught.

"If that's what he told you he lied. He's actually a really good dancer for his build," I admitted. "Great at ballroom."

"Wait the ice king can ballroom dance?" Adrian asked.

"Yep," I smirked at Adrian's nickname for him.

"What kind of dancing are we talking about?" Adrian questioned obviously amused. I thought Tasha was going to blow a fuse.

"Well, I talked him into learning how to Samba, Tango, Paso Doble, and Salsa," I smiled as Dimitri grimaced.

"Wow, Dimitri. I'm Surprised," Adrian laughed. "That's actually impressive."

"It's really not a big thing," he shrugged.

"I just never saw you as the ballroom dancing type," Adrian teased.

"Well he didn't have a choice. Roza needed a partner so she forced him to cause nobody else would and he couldn't say no to her," Vika laughed. I smiled too remembering how it'd taken like a month of begging before he finally caved.

"Well who would?" Lissa laughed. "If you did, you got punished!"

"Ok I was not that bad," I defended with a laugh.

"Well Dimi, I guess you can teach me a dance or two for our wedding," Tasha said excitedly.

"I better not, I don't really remember most of it," he said reluctantly. About then 'Strip That Down' by Liam Payne came on.

"Hey come dance with me Adrian. I love this song!" I said a little more enthusiastically than I felt. He smiled and led me out to the dance floor. Everyone except Dimitri and Tasha followed us.

We stayed for a whole new round of songs but after a while we decided to call it a night. This time Vika rode back with Dimitri, Tasha and Christian. She had to babysit in the morning so she wanted to stay at her own house. After I dropped Mason off at his house, Adrian, Lissa, and I made our way back to her house. They both went to bed while I pretended to but after they went to their rooms, I snuck out back to go sit by the pool. I thought about everything that had happened. Pretty soon I realized, it was time for me to go back to LA possibly permanently.

As much as I hated to admit it, it seemed like the best option. If everything worked out, Mason and Lissa would be moving out to LA soon and as much as it killed me, I know I should distance myself from the Belikovs. It's not fair for Dimitri or even for Tasha for me to still be around. For one, I know a few of the Belikovs such as Paul and Vika will never give Tasha a fair chance with me still around. That's not fair to Dimitri or them. Tasha asking Vika to be a bridesmaid proved that. I know she only asked like that because I was there but it's an unfair position to put Vika in. Of course, she wants to be a part of her brother's wedding but her loyalty to me will stop her if I don't do something. Plus, I don't know that I can stand being around and watching Dimitri and Tasha together. Heaven forbid if they have kids, that would probably kill me. I can't stick around and watch that. I think it will just be easier if I distance myself out. I don't know that I could ever fully leave, not after everything they've done for me. They might as well be my family but Dimitri was right, I did steal his.

So, it's settled. Tomorrow I head back to LA. Permanently.


	26. Chapter 24 Hard Goodbyes

**Two updates in a week? What? Haha it's only because I love y'all so much for sticking with me throughout this story and I know how emotionally involved some of you are so I can't be that cruel. I really like everyone's responses to last chapter I expected everyone to hate me for it!**

 **I hope you all like this chapter…I tried to give you some fluff earlier on because I knew this next section wasn't going to have a lot. Hopefully I can add some in here and there! As always please leave a review and let me know what you think!**

 **-Cassandra**

 **Rose 17 a month after Dimitri left.**

 _"Roza why aren't you at school?" Olena asked from in the kitchen. Paul was sick today so Olena had volunteered to take the day off to look after him._

 _"Well I was going but then Vika said you had taken the day off so I figured this was the best time to come talk to you," I said already dreading this conversation._

 _"Talk to me about what?" she asked. We both went to sit in the chairs at the table._

 _"Well I have some news. You're not going to like it. In fact, you're probably going to be really mad. I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen," I rambled as the tears started to come._

 _"Oh dear," she said softly. She reached over and grabbed my hand. "Roza, it's ok. No matter what it is, I'm here for you. I always will be."_

 _"I'm pregnant," I said softly looking down._

 _"That's what I thought," she said softly. "Oh vozlyublennaya (Sweetheart). It'll be ok. Have you told him?"_

 _"No," I whispered shamefully shaking my head._

 _"How long have you known?" she asked._

 _"Since the day he left."_

 _"Oh Roza, why didn't you tell him then?"_

 _"Because he would never have gone then. I couldn't stop him from living out his dreams. I planned to tell him that night when he called but then he texted saying he was too tired from travelling and whatever. The two times I have managed to get him on the phone he's either been super distracted or too busy to talk. Now I just…I just don't know what to do!" I said exasperated._

 _"Well first off, what do you want to do about it?" she asked._

 _"What do you mean? Like keep it or abort?" I asked she nodded. My free hand went to my stomach. "Keep it. It crossed my mind for like a second but there's no way I can."_

 _"Ok well then we need a plan. Have you been to a doctor yet?"_

 _"No, I've been scared to go by myself and I haven't told anyone else. I did get some prenatal vitamins though. I remembered from when Karo was pregnant with Paul that you need those."_

 _"That's good. Would you like me to go with you?" I nodded._

 _"Why aren't you mad at me?" I asked._

 _"Oh trust me. I'm plenty upset right now but you don't need me to yell at you. I can tell you're already upset enough and you have every right to be. Me yelling at you isn't going to help. What's done is done. Now let me see if I can get you in with a friend of mine, she's very good."_

 _"Do you hate me now?" I asked. I knew it was stupid but Olena was one of the few people I had in my life that actually cared about me and I looked up to._

 _"No honey," she said standing up and hugging me. I stayed sitting so my head was at her stomach. As much as I hated it tears started falling even more. "You're going to get through this and I'm going to help you. You do need to tell your parents and Dimka but we'll approach that later. First let's get you an appointment and start from there."_

 **Present:**

That night the nightmares were stronger than ever and I woke up around 5 unable to go back to sleep. I made my way downstairs and made a cup of coffee. I took the coffee outside along with my notebook and worked on some lyrics that had been in my head. Around 7 Lissa made her way outside. I was on my third cup of coffee and had almost completed a full song but there were some lines that were giving me trouble.

"Took you long enough to get up," I teased her. "The mornings half over."

"Why are YOU up so early?" she questioned sitting beside me.

"Oh, you know, just love me a good sunrise," I smirked.

"Nightmares?" she asked knowingly. I nodded.

"Yep," I said popping the 'p' and looking back at the sunrise. Luckily her parents had picked a really great house semi in the country so there was a lot of land and there were no fences hindering the view.

"I'm sorry. Maybe once you tell him, you can actually move on and they'll fade away," she said hopefully.

"Maybe," I placated. I didn't want to tell her that I didn't think they'd ever go away. It's my karma. "I'm going back to LA today."

"Are you still going to tell him?" she asked.

"Yes, but it will be once he gets back to LA," I told her honestly. I saw her about to speak and cut her off. "I know I should tell him before I leave but I don't want to even talk to him right now especially not about that. I know I have absolutely no right to be but I'm too hurt and emotional. I promise I will tell him but I can't today."

"Ok," she said. I could hear in her voice she disagreed but wasn't going to argue. For that I was grateful.

"I still can't believe he did that. Did you talk after the kiss or anything?" she asked.

"Not really. He apologized and I pretty much ran away. I did talk to him last night a little. Well I told him how low I thought it was and stormed off. I told you he's changed."

"I didn't really believe he'd changed that much but I can't believe he would ever kiss someone then propose to someone else an hour later. How are you?" I shrugged.

"I didn't expect it to hurt like it did. I knew it would happen one day, just didn't think I would be around. I figured I'd read it in a tabloid or something. She was wearing Yeva's ring."

"I'm sorry. Maybe soon you'll be able to just leave him in your past and finally move on."

"Hopefully. I doubt I'll settle down again though. Sorry but I don't see it in the cards."

"You never know," she shrugged. "Maybe one day you and Adrian will be a thing. I could see it. You seem to be good for each other. Plus, last night you looked super cute together."

"He's in love with someone else and if I have my way, I'm hoping they'll be together again by the end of the month," I said with a smirk.

"What do you have planned?" she asked suspiciously.

"Nothing at all," I said with a grin.

"You're matchmaking, again aren't you?"

"Does it count as matchmaking if they were already together then separated now I'm just helping them reconnect?"

"Yes, it counts," she laughed. "You sure you want to get involved?"

"Someone needs to. But all I'm really going to do is talk to her then if I approve get them in the same place at the same time," I grinned. "They'll do all the rest."

"Oh geez," she laughed. "You crack me up."

"What? It's not my fault they can't do it on their own," I smirked. She rolled her eyes.

"So, what's the plan today?" she asked.

"Well I don't want to but I need to go to the Belikovs and hang out with them for a while. I haven't spent a whole lot of time with them. Unfortunately, with him being here I've neglected them. I know the adults understand but Paul doesn't. I'll probably head over there pretty soon. Want to go over there with me?"

"Of course. Plus, that's where I'm supposed to get Aj from so it makes my day simpler," she smiled.

"Perfect."

A couple of hours later I woke Adrian up and told him the plans. He didn't ask too many questions but was very understanding. I knew he'd probably question me on the plane, I'd deal with that later. We all made our way over to the Belikovs. Lisa and Adrian had entered before me as I was slowly walking, not really looking forward to the day. I heard Aj squeal and get excited and as soon as I entered the kitchen I was attacked.

"Aunty Roza!" Paul squealed at the same time Aj Squealed in excitement. Both ran over to hug me so I dropped down to their level.

"Geez guys, you'd think you haven't seen me in a year," I laughed.

"They love their Aunt Roza," Karo laughed from the kitchen table. I just laughed.

"Will you come play with us outside?" Paul asked with big eyes.

"Can I steal some black bread and say hello to everyone first?" I asked. They both looked sad.

"I guess. But hurry and eat!" he told me before turning to AJ. "Come on let's go play until she's ready."

Both boys sulked down the hallway towards Pauls' room. I smiled at their antics as I stood. I turned to see Karo, Olena, Dimitri, and Sonya at the table.

"Good morning," I smiled. I went and sat at the island while Adrian followed. Lissa went and sat at the table in the spare seat. Luckily for me there was black bread sitting on the island from breakfast so I helped myself to a piece.

"Geez Rose go ahead and help yourself," Adrian teased.

"I will thank you!" I smirked back. I turned back to the table. "So, I have some news. Adrian and I are flying back to LA this afternoon. I have some stuff I have to take care of obviously not related to either albums. I hate to cut this trip so short but I'll be back soon."

"What do you have to take care of?" Dimitri asked curiously. I knew he was suspicious.

"Oh, just some personal stuff. Mia's having some issues and there's some things that I need to take care of." I said vaguely. I wasn't lying exactly I did have to take care of some personal stuff between Adrian and Sydney and Mia probably is having a few issues that I didn't tell her I was leaving.

"Oh, I wish you could stay longer but I understand," Olena said sadly. She looked at me knowingly. I quickly looked away.

"I'll miss you when you go just come back when you can," Karo said sweetly. I smiled at her.

"Yea, I expect you to come back for the Thanksgiving," Sonya warned.

"Like I'd miss all that food," I joked.

"Adrian, you are also welcome back anytime," Olena said warmly to him.

"Thanks Ms. Belikov. I appreciate how you've all taken me in," he said smiling brightly. I looked over at Dimitri. If looks could kill, Adrian would be dead on the spot. I laughed. When everyone looked at me I just shrugged it off. Luckily no one else had noticed Dimitri's face.

"So, where's the fiancé?" I asked. I tried to say it as nice as possibly but I'm sure everyone could hear the annoyance in my voice.

"Still sleeping," he said looking down at the table. There was an awkward silence for a minute. "When are you two leaving?"

"I think we decided around 6," I said turning towards Adrian. "That way we can land and still have some of the evening to get back home and unpack and stuff."

"I can send the plane back here for you if you want?" Adrian suggested.

"No that's fine. We can fly commercial," he shrugged. About then Paul ran into the kitchen followed by Aj.

"Aunty Roza are you done yet? I'm bored!" he exclaimed.

"Yes Paulie, I'm done," I smiled. He then ran over to Dimitri.

"Uncle Dimka will you come out and play with us too?" he pleaded. I couldn't see his face but I knew he had his puppy dogs out.

"Of course," he smiled down at Paul.

"Come on!" he said grabbing Dimitri's hand while Aj pulled me up and out the door.

"Impatient little suckers," I laughed. "I'll be back!"

"So, what are we playing?" Dimitri asked once we were outside.

"Hide and seek. You're on my team and Aj and Roza are on a team. You and Roza play rock paper scissors to see who hides first."

"Why don't you do it?" I asked him. he shrugged as if to say 'my game, my rules'. Dimitri and I looked at each other and went with it. We played and I won.

"Aj do you want to hide or count?" I asked him.

"Hide!" he said excitedly.

So, it went for the next couple of hours. Eventually The boys got tired of hide and seek when they ran out of hiding spots so they decided on football. For that we recruited Adrian, Lissa, and Christian and Vika. Of course, that left me, Dimitri, and Vika on a team with Paul and, Lissa, Christian and Adrian on a team with Aj. Paul and Aj were the team captains. Karolina, Sonya, and Tasha had come outside to watch and were sitting on the porch cheering…well Karolina and Sonya were cheering, Tasha was glaring. As it stood we were tied 9 to 9, next point won. I had tried my hardest to avoid looking at Dimitri as much as possible. Seeing him with Paul was slowly killing me but I couldn't leave and as much as it hurt, I didn't want to. I loved watching Paul play with Dimitri and watching how happy it made him.

"Ok Paul, what's our game plan?" I asked in our little huddle.

"Hmmm…I'm not sure. Dimka?" he asked turning towards Dimitri.

"Well, I think we should pretend to give it to Vika but really give it to Roza then me and you will run down by the end zone, she throws it to you and I block everyone while you score and win the game."

"Yes!" he said excitedly. "Ok hands in, 1, 2, 3 Belikovs!"

That had been our team name this game. Because everyone besides me had the last name Belikov, Paul had decided on that one. When I pointed out I wasn't he shrugged and said "Close enough". I couldn't very well argue with an 8-year-old so I went with it. It wasn't the best but, I shrugged it off. The play went off without a hitch and Paul scored. Dimitri lifted him in the air and threw him up before catching him and putting him on his shoulder doing a victory lap. We all laughed at their antics. When he made it back to the group he surprised me though by high fiving Aj and crouching down to him.

"You played so good little man. Do you want a victory lap too?" he asked with a megawatt smile. Aj smiled shyly and nodded. Dimitri threw him up and caught him too before putting him on his shoulders and running around the yard, we all high-fived him too like we had with Paul. It was all too cute and too much. Finally, it got the best of me and I realized I needed a break.

"I'm hungry, I'm going to go check on lunch," I said with a smile before heading into the house. Olena was at the island by herself.

"Need help?" I asked. She nodded and pointed to some vegetables to cut for the salad. I washed my hands and grabbed a knife. I sat across from her on a stool and started chopping.

"Get tired of playing outside?" she asked.

"Yea, those boys are tiring," I half-joked. She looked at me as if inspecting me, nodded then resumed what she was doing. "What was that?"

"Checking." She said without further explanation.

"Checking what?" I asked confused. Wasn't Yeva the confusing one?

"How are you doing?" she asked not answering.

"You've lived with Yeva for far too long. I'm going to need to split you up. I'm fine."

"You are." She stated. "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, but I don't know why," I shrugged.

"Well think about everything that's happened in the last 24 hours, the last week, the last month. If any of it happened two years ago would you be dealing with it like you are? How would you have handled it all?"

"Well considering I barely had a hold on things, not very well. I probably would be drowning myself in a bottle shutting everyone and everything out."

"Exactly. I know it's hard for you to be around him. To be around him and her especially now that she wears Yeva's ring. To be around him playing with Paul. Yet if I didn't know the truth I would think you're handling it all perfectly."

"What else am I supposed to do?" I shrugged. "I could drink, I could shut myself off from the world, I could scream, cuss, throw things, cry, all things I've thought about but what would it do? Nothing would change. It wouldn't bring him back, it wouldn't take back the last 5 years. I knew one day he'd get married. We made our beds, now we lay in them," I told her honestly.

"Exactly. That's why I'm proud of you. You've always acted tough and like nothing bothers you but you never believed it yourself. The truth is you are so much stronger than you think you are and even though you don't realize it, you've made so much progress. Even though you don't believe one day you will even be happy again, you just have to keep working like you are."

"I don't believe it but I hope you prove me wrong," I admitted then I smirked at her. "What do you think of the new engagement?"

"Don't even get me started," she said sternly. I knew she didn't want to say anything ill against Tasha but I also could tell she didn't like her one bit. About then the baby started crying in the monitor. I had finished the vegetables so I wiped my hands and offered to go get her. Olena handed me a bottle from the counter. I knew Sonya was breastfeeding so I assumed it was a freshly pumped bottle. I made my way back to Sonya's room and picked her up. I went over to the rocker in the corner of the room and rocked her as I fed her.

"Hi pretty girl," I said softly. "I'm sorry I couldn't hang out with you more. I know you're going to forget me before I come back but don't worry, when you're older it will be hard to forget me. I probably won't be around much but I'll always be there for you. And I'm going to spoil you so much. Just ask your cousins. I'm sorry I probably won't be around as much as I'd like but maybe one day I'll explain it and you'll understand. I will always love you. I know your life is going to be awesome. It can't be anything less because you're named after me and us Roses, we're bad assess and astoundingly beautiful."

By then she'd stopped eating so I lifted her on my shoulder and burped her. About the same time that she burped, there was a noise at the door. I looked up to see Dimitri standing in the doorway. I hope he hadn't heard me talking to her. He came in the room and closed the door behind him. I stood up about to protest but he held a hand up. Of course, he corners me when I have a baby in my arms and can't storm off or yell.

"I'm sorry, I was coming to tell you lunch is ready but now seemed like a good time to talk to you for a few seconds. Are you leaving because of me?" he asked.

"No Dimitri, I told you I have some stuff I need to take care of. Mia called me this morning and I decided to go back. Even if I was though, it wouldn't matter."

"It would matter. I don't want you to leave because of me."

"You don't get to make that decision for me. Or any decisions for me. It's a good thing though. Tasha hates me, therefore she's going to be in bitch mode the whole time I'm here now it gives her a chance to retract the claws and maybe have a chance at winning over your family because right now they don't like her either. Plus, this gives you some time with your family by yourself."

"It's unfair to you," he countered. "Plus, the engagement…she wasn't supposed to do that last night," he said like he couldn't find the words he wanted to say.

"It doesn't matter if she wasn't supposed to announce it like that, it doesn't change anything. If your happy then that's great I'm happy for you. It's not unfair to me. It's unfair of me to stay. I've had the last 5 years with them all. You need the time alone with them and I need to go back to LA. Stay here for however long you need to and when you're ready come back and we'll get to work on the albums. Adrian and I still have to decide what songs we want to do so we don't really need you for a little bit while we go through them. So, stay, reconnect, have a good time. They've missed you and you've missed them. I'm needed back in LA. I'll come back and visit again."

"I just…I know what I said about stealing my family and I want you to know that I didn't mean it. They love you as much as you love them and I don't want you to feel like you have to leave or distance from them because of me."

"That's not entirely true but I appreciate it. Now if you don't mind, I'm starving and this baby probably wants her mama," I told him gesturing to Katya. He looked like he wanted to say something else but nodded and moved out of the way opening the door. I walked through the door and made my way to the kitchen. I looked back and saw Dimitri was still in the room. I paused before anyone could see me and took a deep breath. I looked down at the baby and smiled as she opened her eyes up to me.

"It's a good thing you're so adorable," I smiled. I took one more deep breath before heading into the kitchen.

Hours later found me on a plane with Adrian. I was sad to be leaving but happy to be away from Dimitri and Tasha. I had left the rental with Dimitri at the Belikovs and Lissa had brought us to the airport. It was really hard to tell Paul bye because he didn't take it well but luckily Dimitri distracted him and cheered him up. Plus, I promised to buy him an 'epic' Christmas present to bring back. After lunch Mason had come over and we spent the afternoon playing games with the kids and just hanging out. It was nice except for Tasha being there.

"So, want to talk about it?" Adrian asked from beside me.

"About which part?" I asked. He shrugged. "Dimitri and I kissed yesterday. Then he went and proposed to Tasha. Guess that proves your theory of him still loving me wrong. I guess it's a good thing though. I'm glad he's moved on and everything, I just wish it was with somebody better. Then again I would probably hate whoever it was no matter what…"

"Ok hold on can we go back on the you kissed? I need more info."

"I'm sure Christian told you that I ran into my mother. Then I ran to one of my favorite hide outs, a place only Dimitri knew about so he found me when Lissa got worried. Well we got to talking and it brought us back to old times next thing you know we were making out in a tree. Then I freaked and left. Next time I saw him, he was engaged to Tasha."

"Do I hear sadness? Does that mean you're upset he got engaged? Were you hoping to get back together? Because you've adamantly been saying you're over for good and that's never going to change," he said with a raised eyebrow knowing he made a point.

"We are done for good that doesn't mean I can't be upset he got engaged to that horrible woman."

"Obviously, he see's something in her. I don't know what but something. But if you were truly over him like you keep saying, you would be happy for him. or at the very least not bothered by him moving on. Yet you are," he pointed out. "None of that matters anyway though because there's something fishy about this engagement anyways. I don't think it's real."

"Why do you say that?" I asked curiously.

"Because I don't believe he would make-out with you in a tree then turn around and propose to her an hour later in his bedroom. First of all, they've been together for 4 years and he hasn't proposed yet but then he proposed now? When they've spent the week fighting because she hates his family, friends and his hometown? Secondly, you know Dimitri and I don't see eye to eye but I do not see him proposing to a girl like Tasha in his high school bedroom. No if he were to propose to Tasha it would probably be some grand gesture because that's what Tasha likes. Not something simple like that."

"Ok then explain how she has his grandmothers ring on her finger? Has loudly proclaimed their engaged and he hasn't denied it?" I asked suspiciously. He had some valid points but the truth of the matter different.

"That part I haven't figured out but give it time. This engagement isn't real. It'll come out sooner or later," he said confidently.

"Whatever."

""Rose and Dimitri sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" he sang softly. I picked up a pillow from the couch and threw it at him.

"Shut up!"


	27. Chapter 25 Matchmaking

**Hey so another update! Yay me! Wow I just felt like London Tipton there for a second (I really hope you all get that reference). So, I'm sorry this chapter is super short, flashback and all it's only 8 microsoft word pages. I was going to add more onto this chapter but then I got a few great ideas and if I decide to run with them then I think you'll like next chapter a lot. Unfortunately, once Rose came back to LA I didn't have the whole thing figured out. I knew the major events I wanted to happen but not exactly how to get there and everything so I'm kind of just writing whatever comes to mind to get me to the main areas…if that makes any sense. Luckily, it's flowing pretty easily and I'm writing about a chapter a week.**

 **So that being said I have 3 questions:**

 **Is there anything specifically anyone wants to see happen in LA (besides Rose telling Dimitri and them getting together. And excluding anything Tasha related because I already have her storyline planned out.)**

 **Random question I had while driving the other day, does anyone have any ideas about Rose's tattoo? She told Dimitri she had one…is it just one? What is it? Where is it? What do you think? I already have one planned out for her but I want to hear what you all think and shoot, if your idea is better I might just use it or give her more than one…**

 **Any ideas on songs you want any of the characters to sing either Karaoke or that they've 'written' at Mia's bar? I already have a few I'm thinking about using but I always like to hear others ideas. Or if you have suggestions for songs to go on the duet CD, that has been a little bit of a struggle to find duets that I like and can use.**

 **Anywho, here's the chapter and seriously let me know what you guys think about my questions…and this chapter of course lol.**

 **Rose 17:**

" _Coach?" I said hesitantly entering the doorway. Coach Mikhail Tanner looked up from his computer. He was leaned back casually in his chair like he didn't have a care in the world. I envied him right this second._

 _"Hathaway, what's wrong? It must be bad if you're actually calling me coach," he teased but looked worried. Not long after the Avery incident Mikhail took over as the head softball coach. We had a great relationship because he didn't mind my smart ass remarks or the fact that I always called him Mikhail, Mike if I wanted to annoy him and Mikey if he was being a pain in my ass and I wanted to return the favor. As lenient as he was, he was also a strict coach who expected the most of his athletes and held them to a high standard. We both joked around but also respected the other as coach and student._

 _"Well it's not the best news for you," I said softly shutting the door behind me. I went and sat in the chair across from his desk. Now was the part where I had to tell him I was quitting softball and I wasn't looking forward to it. "I have to quit the team."_

 _"What? Why?" he said sitting up looking shocked._

 _"I'm pregnant," I said softly looking down. By now I was almost three months along and I'd mostly accepted the fact that I was pregnant and everything that came with it and while I wasn't ashamed of my baby, I was ashamed of being another statistic. He didn't respond taking it in so of course, I rambled on. "I'm so sorry coach. I was responsible but apparently, antibiotics and birth control don't work well together and well that's probably more info than you wanted."_

 _"I'm not mad Rose," he said understandingly. "It'll be ok."_

 _"You're not mad?" I asked surprised. He was pretty easy going but I still expected a little bit of anger at least._

 _"I'm disappointed but only because it means we're losing our best player," he said with a sad smirk._

 _"Well only for a season. I can come back my senior year better than ever," I said confidently. "I don't plan on quitting school."_

 _"I admire your heart and dedication but before you go making promises for senior year, why don't we take small steps at a time? Of course, you'll always have a spot on our team but you never know what's going to happen between then and now. First things first though, how are you?"_

 _"I'm great," I said with more enthusiasm than I felt._

 _"Rose, you're pregnant, a junior in high school and I'm assuming your baby's father is out in California headlining a new band?" he asked. I nodded. "Yea, you're not great and that's perfectly ok but I'm here for you if you need it."_

 _"I really appreciate it coach. I may take you up on it one day but for today I am ok. My biggest concern right now was telling you."_

 _"Ok, well it's a standing offer. You're always welcome, even if you won't be on the team anymore. If you decide you miss it too much, you're more than welcome to come join us at practice anytime this spring. I'm sure you could give the girls some great pointers and be a big help," he smiled warmly. I smiled back._

 _"That sounds like a plan but right now I'm not really telling anyone about the pregnancy so I don't know if I want to go to practice with no explanations right now."_

 _"Well you're going to have to tell the girls something about why you're leaving the team. If not they'll make their own assumptions," he said sadly._

 _"I agree but can we wait until it gets closer to the season before I say anything?" I asked hesitantly._

 _"Sure, no rush. We still have a few months until we start up again," he said with a small smile._

 _"Thank you," I told him honestly as I stood up to leave. As I got to the door way Mikhail said my name. I turned back towards him._

 _"It will be ok," he smiled reassuringly._

 _"Thanks," I said with a smile before walking out._

 **Present:**

The next few days I laid low. The first day back Mia insisted on us having a spa day. We went and got mani/pedi's then I touched up the red in my hair since it had started to fade. Then we went back to my apartment where we had pizza and ice cream and binge watched movies while I updated her on everything that had happened while we were in Baia. She had been upset that I took off without telling her but she quickly got over it. The next day I spent on my own. I tried to stay in bed all day watching Netflix but I soon got restless when every thing just kept reminding me of Dimitri. After that I walked around town for a few hours clearing my head. The third day, was when I met up with Sydney. We decided to meet at a little coffee shop I'd stopped at on the way to the studio one day.

"Rose?" I looked up to find Sydney walking towards me. I stood up and stuck my hand out to her. She took it and looked a little reluctant but smiled warmly. I assumed she just wasn't a huge fan of physical contact.

"Hi! I'm so glad you could meet me!" I told her excitedly. My own love life was shit but I was hoping I could fix Adrian's.

"Of course! I'm going to go place my order and I'll be right back," she told me walking over to the counter. I sat back down and texted Mia. I'd told her my plan and she had laughed at my meddling but happily agreed with me to do it. Soon Sydney came back and sat down across from me. "So why did you want to meet with me?"

"Well some people over at my label are doing this duet album for a children's charity and I want you to be on it," I told her honestly.

"Why me?" she asked.

"I've heard a lot about you so it made me look you up and I really like your sound. I think you'll fit in great with some of the other voices we have," I told her only partially lying. As of right now there's only me and Adrian but they did mention adding in a few other people after I asked about getting Sydney on there.

"Oh yea? Who else is doing it?" she asked. I smiled. Now comes the actual lying.

"Well I can't confirm any just yet because right now it's all still up in the air. Dimitri Belikov is producing and could potentially do a duet or two on it. There's talks about getting Adrian on it but nothing confirmed. We're still getting all of the details and talking to a bunch of people," I told her slipping in Adrian's name but not confirming it in case that makes her back off from it.

"Oh Adrian like THE Adrian?" she asked a little warily but hiding it well. If I didn't know pretty much exactly how she was feeling I probably wouldn't have noticed it.

"Yea, is that a problem?" I asked pretending I didn't know their history.

"Well it's just our music isn't very similar. If he's on it, are you sure you need someone like me?" she asked hesitantly. I laughed.

"Honestly, that's the first thing I told him when he asked me to help write a song with him. I think you'll be surprised though. He's thinking of changing up his sound and his new stuff is really good," I said bragging about my friend but also playing him up for her. Not that I was lying. His songs were good.

"Full disclosure?" she asked looking a little sad. I nodded. "Adrian and I used to date a long time ago."

"Oh really?" I asked pretending like I didn't already know. "Yea long story short I broke up with him for the wrong reasons and haven't talked to him since."

"Well maybe this can be your chance to reconnect then?" I suggested.

"I don't know that he'll want to see me," she admitted.

"Well I will say I know a thing or two about working with an ex. Full disclosure, I used to date Dimitri and it was really serious. This was before he got famous. Now he's engaged and my producer so I feel your pain. But if you think you can manage it I can guarantee Adrian will too. At the very least he can suck it up after all of the hard times he's given me for working with Dimitri."

"You're the girl from the video!" she gasped like it had just hit her.

"Yep, but I promise there is absolutely nothing romantic going on with me and Adrian. I had just helped him write a song and we went out to celebrate. He was actually cheering me up because he knew I'd had a rough night with Dimitri," I admitted.

"Wait did you say he was engaged?" she questioned.

"Oh shoot I did say that. don't tell anybody. That's their news to share. Frankly I'm surprised it's not already on the cover of every magazine already but whatever," I shrugged. "But back to the point, if it's a problem working with him, I understand. He's not confirmed on the album right now anyway so there's a chance you might not have to work with him. if you do want to reconnect, he is signed on at the same label we'll be recording at so you can see him still if you want. It is for a really good charity."

"I think I would like to see him but I'm not sure he'll feel the same," she said a little sadly but trying to hide it.

"Well I will say, he's become a really good friend to me over the last couple of weeks and I think he'd be ok seeing you again. Why don't you and I go to the studio, you can look at some of the songs that are going to be put on the album and if you like any of them then we can continue to discuss this farther. If you don't I won't bother you about it anymore," I smiled softly. The truth was I knew Adrian was at the studio right now so I planned on them 'accidentally' running into each other.

"That sounds ok," she smiled back.

Fifteen minutes later found us walking into Studio A. I gave her a few pages of songs Adrian and I had worked on and then pretended like I needed to go to the restroom. Then I went over to studio B where Adrian was.

"Hey, I've been over in studio A and I'm having some difficulties, can you come help me?" I asked Adrian.

"Sure Little Red. I'm surprised to see you here today," he said standing up and following me out into the hallway. Luckily Sydney was hunched down so hopefully he wouldn't notice her before walking in. I knew once they started talking it would be great but I was hesitant that he'd even be willing to talk to her. I knew he still loved her but he let his own self-deprecation hold him back.

"Well I got bored of sitting around my apartment so I decided to try to do something productive. Luckily when I showed up, Studio A was open," I lied.

"How are you?" he asked.

"I'm all right. I think I'll be able to work with him. I won't let him back in but I think I can manage being around him professionally," I said a little more confidently than I felt. By now we were standing in front of the door. Luckily he was looking at me and not inside the door.

"Good," he said with a head nod. I smiled.

"Hey so you know I love you and you've become one of my best friends right?" I asked. He looked confused.

"Yea, why?" he questioned. I shrugged.

"I just wanted to remind you of that," I smirked before opening the door and walking in. luckily he kept looking at me worriedly as he walked in the doorway. I quickly got in between the door and him as I shut it behind him.

"Adrian?" Sydney asked. He whipped around to face her. He looked confused.

"Sydney? What are you doing here? Rose what's going on?" he asked her then me. I smiled.

"Ok so I kind of somewhat lied to both of you. Sydney, we are doing a duet album for a children's charity but it actually was just supposed to be me and Adrian on it. Then he told me about you so I asked Alberta if I could get you on it also so I could have a reason for you to come to the studio. Now I'm going to go while you two talk. You have a lot to catch up on. Also those songs I showed you were all co-written by Adrian if that helps," I said hurriedly before turning and walking out the door. I heard both of them say something but didn't turn to check. I knew Adrian did have manners so he wouldn't just walk out plus I knew he still loved her so I wasn't too worried about him leaving. Sydney had also mentioned wanting to see him again so I knew she'd stay so I didn't lock the door. I just smiled and made my way to go talk to Eddie.

"Hey Eddison," I smiled when I found him.

"My name's Eddie," he said with a smirk. "How was your trip home?"

"Mia didn't tell you?" I asked figuring she'd already updated him.

"She told me a summary. Pretty much just Tasha and Christian showed up and about the engagement. Though I think she only told me so I wouldn't be nice to him when he comes back," he laughed. I smiled at that.

"Well besides that, it wasn't bad. The new baby is adorable. I'm glad I got to meet her. It was fun meeting up with all my friends and family though. I have had Mia for most of my stay out here and now I have you and Adrian but it was nice to have them all around for a while. I am so glad to be back though," I smiled.

"I bet," he replied. "Well I'm glad you're back too. It's been boring with all three of you gone," he smirked.

"Oh, you had Mia, I can almost guarantee you weren't bored," I laughed. He shrugged.

"I mean it wasn't too boring. It's just a lot more entertaining at work with you three here," he smirked.

"Well, it's about closing time. Want to go meet up with Mia at the bar?" I asked.

"Sure. Let me finish up a few things and we can go," he said. I nodded. I pulled my phone and texted Mia that we were headed over. I went to the bathroom and somewhat touched up what little make up I had on. I'd only put lipgloss, mascara, and a touch of eyeliner on. As I walked out I ran into Alberta.

"Oh Rose, it's nice to see you. perfect timing actually. Want to come into my office for a second?" she asked.

"Sure. Am I getting fired already?" I asked with a smile only partially joking.

"Oh of course not, I just have some updates for you," she smiled warmly. When we got to her office she sat behind her desk and I sat across from her.

"So, we heard the single and we love it! And because of its great response so far we want to jump on it," she smiled proudly. I had forgotten that the single was supposed to come out tomorrow.

"How has it gotten a great response? It hasn't come out yet has it?" I asked confused.

"No but Adrian released a small clip of it on snap chat and posted on his twitter that its coming out tomorrow. The response back has been huge. I'm surprised you haven't heard about all of the articles. People are loving it!" she said excitedly. I smiled a genuine smile, surprised by that.

"Wow that's amazing!" I exclaimed. "So how are you wanting to get a jump on it?"

"Well we've already talked to Adrian and he said that you two already have quite a few songs that you're probably going to use on the album. So we want you two to get together and come up with all of the songs you're wanting to use then we're going to do a small showcase in two weeks to premiere some of the new material. Obviously it's not going to be perfected and it's not going to be recorded in a studio yet. Along with some of the duet material we're going to also allow you four to do individual material as well."

"Four?" I asked.

"Yes well that part you're probably not going to like as much. We've talked about it and now that you're adding Sydney we want to add a voice or two more and we've decided to add Dimitri on it for now with you. It opens it up for more star power and a broader audience which means more sales," she said somewhat nervously. "We've already talked to Dimitri and he's agreed to do it as long as you're ok with it."

"Oh," I said shocked. "Um I guess yea, that's fine. Is it just going to be me doing duets with him or will Sydney be doing them also?"

"For now just you but that may change," she said softly.

"Ok, well sounds good I guess," I said still in shock. "Two weeks isn't very long to work on a whole showcase worth of material."

"Well I know you already have a few individual songs you've done before. You can use those or do new ones as long as Dimitri gives approval as your producer. You're not going to actually be doing any recording so we have studio C reserved for you all for the next two weeks because you can't record in there right now anyways. As of right now I believe Sydney is going to sign on. So it's just going to be 2-4 songs individually and per duet pairing. I believe you and Adrian have already written enough of for it to work out."

"Ok," I said still processing it all. "When did you talk to Dimitri?"

"This morning. He'll be here bright and early tomorrow so if you want to come in sometime in the morning you can discuss it all," she said smiling warmly. "I know you two aren't on the best of terms so if you're ever struggling you can always come talk to me but I think you both work together very well and if you keep it up, I think this will be an amazing record."

"Thank you," I said softly. "Is that all you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Yes. Well one more thing. I don't know if you have public social media sites but if you do I would start using them to promote and to get a good social media fan base. People already like you and are very curious to get to know you," she said happily. Anyone else, I would have thought they were just saying that for money but she looked pretty genuine when she said people wanted to get to know me.

"Ok, I will. I don't know how good I will be at it but I can try," I told her honestly. I wasn't a huge fan of posting on social media a lot but it wouldn't hurt to try. "I guess I will see you tomorrow morning."

"Bye Rose. I can't wait to see your sales tomorrow. It's definitely going to be an exciting day," she smiled. I smiled back at her.

"Yes it will," I replied. Though I was dreading tomorrow. Tomorrow Dimitri would be back and I'd have to face him again. Not only that, I'd have to sing with him.

On our way out a man chased me down the sidewalk as we started walking towards the bar.

"Rose, ROSE. Hey I'm from TMZ can I ask you a few questions?" he said coming up beside me I turned and looked at Eddie who smirked.

"Sure I guess," I smiled not really knowing what to say.

"Is it true you are dating Adrian?" he asked. I laughed.

"No. Absolutely not. Adrian is one of my very good friends and I love him but not romantically," I said smiling.

"Then why have you been together so much and is it true you just went on vacation with him?"

"Because we're working together and have become good friends. Yes we did travel together because one of my friends had a baby and we were in the middle of finishing our single that comes out tonight at midnight by the way. He went with me so we could keep working on it," I explained.

"Is it also true that Dimitri Belikov accompanied you?" he asked. I laughed again surprised at everything they knew I thought we'd gotten away with no one really noticing.

"Where do you get all of this? Obviously, he went it was his sister's baby," I said before I caught myself. Oh shit. I tried to hurriedly cover it up. "Plus, he's our producer so we needed him to help us finish the song."

"Didn't you say it was one of your friends? You're friends with Dimitri's sister? Are you and him together? What about Tasha? We've heard rumors they broke up, is it because of you?" he inquired.

"Geez," I said at his audacity. I stopped and looked at him. "Yes, I'm friends with Dimitri's sister. The truth is we grew up in the same small town and over the years I've grown close with his family. Dimitri and I are absolutely not together. I'm single and not with anyone. As for his relationship status, you'll have to talk to him. Are we done here?"

"Of course, thank you for talking to me," he smiled before pressing a button on his recorder that I hadn't noticed he turned and back the way we'd came.

"Geez, I feel like I was just interrogated," I half-joked to Eddie.

"Oh trust me that was some more of the easier paparazzi interviews. Wait until you get more famous. Especially since you just told them you knew Dimitri growing up. Watch the rumors you see online tomorrow."

"Oh God. I can't wait," I said sarcastically.

 **AN: Ps. Sorry if any of this chapter doesn't make sense or has major errors in it. I was literally falling asleep while finishing it and I tried to go through and correct everything I saw but I know I probably missed some.**


	28. Chapter 26 Blame it on the Alcohol

**Guys! I'm so sorry it's been two weeks instead of one like I've been doing. This chapter was sooooo hard for me to write. Then when I did write it my computer installed updates and restarted without me telling it to so I lost a huge chunk of this chapter and had to re-write it.**

 **The two songs I have rose sing, I've been wanting to use in this story for forever but haven't ever felt like it was the right time so now I'm excited to finally use them!**

 **Ok so I was overwhelmed with duet suggestions, tattoo ideas and every other suggestions you've all given me! I don't exactly remember who all I've replied to review wise (I'm so sorry, I'm going to try and go reply to everyone later but I want to get this chapter up first) BUT if I didn't reply THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for your ideas, and I do have them all saved and am going to use quite a few of them! If you have any more ideas please do not hesitate to tell me! I love them so much. and quite a few story ideas or suggestion have actually altered bits and pieces of this story so yours might too!**

 **Thank you all for the support and sticking through, we're almost there….I want to estimate between 5-8 chapters left (again that's just an estimation. Depends how I handle the two weeks before the showcase…)!**

 **Rose-17, 4 months pregnant**

" _Hey Dimitri, I obviously get that you don't want to talk to me anymore but I need you to please call me back. It's important." I said softly into his voicemail. This was the 5_ _th_ _time I had called him this month but he never answered. I hung my head and willed the tears not to come. About that time Olena walked into the room._

 _"What's the matter Roza?" she asked. I looked up and smiled._

 _"Nothing."_

 _"He didn't answer again?" she asked knowingly. I shook my head and smiled sadly._

 _"It's ok though. I have a doctor's appointment next Tuesday after school. Do you want to come with me?" I asked with a smile not wanting her to see how heartbroken I really was. I knew he wasn't answering her calls either and she was just as upset._

 _"Honey, you know I'll be there. You also know you don't have to hide your feelings. Not with me."_

 _"I'm ok. I promise. Plus, what's the use in being sad? It's not going to magically make him answer. Plus, I have this beautiful little bean I need to focus on," I said rubbing my belly. Luckily, I was barely showing so I still hadn't told many people that I was even pregnant. I could get away with wearing baggy shirts or jackets._

 _"Well speaking of this beautiful bean, how about I make some black bread. I'm sure she's hungry!" she smirked._

 _"Mama Belikova you know the way to a girls' heart!" I laughed as I got up and followed her into the kitchen before continuing. "We don't know it's a she! I'm hoping for a boy!" I laughed. "We don't need more girls in this house plus could you imagine me raising a girl?"_

 _"You're right, that poor girl would have no chance!" Vika said coming down the stairs. "Besides the fact that she'll have an amazing aunt who will actually teach her to be a little princess!"_

 _"Ugh don't threaten my child like that! Can you imagine the horror? It'd be like having two Lissa's!"_

 _"Oh, whatever our little princess will be the so spoiled and pampered you won't even really be needed," she joked rubbing my belly._

 _"Gag! Better be ready to spoil and pamper your little PRINCE because she's a he!"_

 _"A girl can dream can't she!" Vika sighed wistfully._

 _"Well you'll find out that I'm right next month. Until then dream away!" I laughed._

 _"Ok Roza, come over here. With this pregnancy you're going through black bread faster than I can make it so I'm going to show you how so you can start making it yourself. "_

 _"Ugh! Do I have to?!" I asked with a smile. "I don't want to burn down your kitchen."_

 _"That's why I'm going to be right here to show you how not to burn it down," she said. I playfully groaned before getting up and going to stand by her. "You're also going to start learning how to cook real meals."_

 _A few hours later everyone else had gone to bed and it was just me down stairs. I was staying the night at the Belikovs again. I mostly spent all of my time there or at Lissa's. Now that I'm in high school neither of my parents come home too often so I got away with not being there very much. I pulled my phone out and dialed Dimitri's number again. This time it went straight to voicemail_

 _"Hey it's me. Yet again. Just calling to let you know I'm pregnant and it's yours. It would be nice if you would call me back. It would be nice if you could tell me why you all of a sudden hate me enough to ignore me," I sniffled trying not to cry. "I'm trying so hard to not let anyone know how much my heart is broken from you leaving and trying so hard to be strong for this baby but I need you. Please just answer or call me back."_

 _A beep cut in and gave me instructions to either hang up or delete the message. I quickly hit delete and hung up. I curled up as much as I could at the end of the couch and let the tears flow. I purposefully stayed silent so I wouldn't wake anyone in the house. When I finished, I wiped my eyes and stood up. I turned towards the stairs and jumped when I saw Yeva at the bottom of the stairs._

 _"Geez old lady, give a girl a heart attack!" I laughed. Yeva and I didn't talk much but she liked to give me a hard time so I tried to give her one back. Unfortunately, she pretty much always one ups me._

 _"Come." She said heading to the kitchen. I followed as she grabbed two coffee mugs. She poured milk into each then heated them in the microwave as she grabbed four packets of hot cocoa. When they were done she added the cocoa, stirred each one, grabbed one, and headed to the back porch. I grabbed the other and followed her. This time of year was one of my favorites right when it started getting colder. At night it could get pretty cold, then during the day it would warm up. To me, my favorite weather is when it's cold but I'm one of the few here in Georgia that can actually appreciate the cold._

 _Yeva sat in one of the wooden rockers Olena had, and I sat in the other. I pulled my feet up in the chair with me but had to lean back a little to make room for my small baby bump. We sat there in silence for a few minutes before she finally spoke up._

 _"He's being foolish." She said abruptly but didn't elaborate._

 _"Ok?" I said confused._

 _"Trying and tough times are ahead. Life's about to get a lot harder."_

 _"Well isn't that usually what happens when you have a baby?" I asked confused._

 _"Yes," she said softly but it looked kind of sad._

 _"What's wrong Yeva?" I asked softly._

 _"The months ahead aren't going to be easy but you're strong and you are going to get through it. You need to focus on you. Not him."_

 _"I'm trying. I try to forget about him but it's not that easy. I'm working on getting over him."_

 _"Work harder." She said before getting up and walking inside._

 _"Gee thanks!" I snorted. I stayed out there a few minutes longer finishing my hot chocolate. I thought back over what she said. It seemed like she was warning against more than just me having this baby which had me worried._

 _"You can make it through rose," I muttered to myself. I have this new baby coming and as terrified as I am, I'm also excited. Yea it's going to be tough but as long as I have my little peanut we'll get through._

 **Present:**

When we got to the bar, it was pretty packed for a Monday night. That's LA for you though. I took a seat at the bar and Eddie went to the bathroom. When Mia was free she came over to us.

"So, I just ran into a TMZ reporter and he wanted to speak to me. It was weird," I told her with a laugh.

"Well it's official, you're a celebrity now!" she laughed as she started making us both drinks.

"I don't know about that," I smiled. "They mostly asked about Adrian and Dimitri. I guess that would make me the hoe they interview trying to get dirt on the real celebs," I joked.

"Pssshhh, whatever," she said laughing and shaking her head at me. She placed a glass in front of me and I looked at it suspiciously. It was a weird pinkish purple color and looked dangerous. "Just don't forget about us little people."

"As if you'd let me forget about you if I tried," I teased.

"Damn right!"

"What is this?" I asked still not brave enough to try it.

"Just try it. I created it and I think it tastes damn good but I need a second opinion," she smiled. I looked down warily at it. "Oh, just try it, it's not going to kill you!"

"Fine," I muttered picking it up. I took a small sip and she was right, it was delicious. I took an actual drink this time. "What's in it? It's really good."

"Trust me you don't want to know besides it's a secret," she smirked. "One of these days you'll learn to trust me."

"Umm remember the last time I taste tested something for you? I almost threw up it was so bad!" I laughed.

"It was just the once and yea maybe that wasn't the best combination but it was worth a try," she shrugged. About that time Eddie came back and sat beside me. His drink she'd made was a bluish green. He looked at it just as suspiciously as I'd looked at mine.

"Just drink it or she'll pour it down your throat," I half-joked. He took a sip of it and nodded.

"Not bad babe," he smiled at her. I looked at her with a raised eyebrow referencing his use of the endearment. She just smiled. "So are you excited for Rose's single to drop?"

"When?" she asked.

"Oh yea. I kind of forgot to tell you but it comes out tonight at midnight," I said with a grimace knowing I was about to get yelled at.

"WHAT! You have a single coming out tonight and you FORGOT to tell me?" she half-yelled. Everyone around us turned and looked at us.

"I was a little distracted!" I defended. "I forgot about it until today."

"This calls for shots!" she said excitedly! She quickly grabbed some shot glasses, the big double shot ones. She saw me about to protest. "Oh no you don't. Tonight, we are celebrating and you are going to forget about that asshole and the engagement and have fun because your first single is coming out tonight!"

"Fine," I relented knowing it was pointless. Plus, it didn't sound like a bad idea. "But I pick the shot!"

"You pick the _first_ shot," she said with an evil glint in her eye. I laughed and went with it.

An hour and a half later, I was feeling pretty good. I had taken turns dancing with a few of the guys and had laughed more than I had in a while. This was the first time I'd been out without Dimitri around or having been with him right before going out in a while so I wasn't as stressed this time. He was still in the back of my mind but I was able to mostly ignore it for a while. The alcohol helped.

I made my way back to the bar from dancing and was surprised to see Daniel sitting there.

"I might be tipsy but I'm pretty sure it's not Friday," I teased sitting beside him.

"Thought I'd change it up a little," he smirked. "You look a lot happier than the last time I saw you."

"Well buddy boy. Dimitri isn't here and I have a single coming out tonight!" I said happily.

"That the ex from last time?" he asked. Mia came over and gave me a new drink but didn't say anything since I was in the middle of a conversation and walked back over to Eddie.

"Yep," I said popping the 'p'. "That's him."

"You never did tell me the story," he said.

"Well. We grew up together, dated in high school, he left and dumped me. Didn't hear from him again until about a month ago when I walked into a studio and BAM he's my producer and the only one available. So, when we came here last time we were working on trying to get along instead of screaming at each other all the time."

"Wow, that stings. I'm sorry," he said sincerely. I turned towards my drink.

"He's engaged now," I said only realizing as I said it how drunk I actually was. I wasn't too far gone but far enough my filter was a little broken. "He kissed me then an hour later proposed to his girlfriend. What kind of shit is that?"

"Wait you kissed him then he proposed to someone else?" he asked.

"Yep, maybe I'm a bad kisser. You think that could be it?" I asked. Before I knew what was happening he turned me to face him and leaned down pressing his lips to mine. I was just drunk enough to kiss him back for a few seconds before the shock finally sunk in and I pulled back. "What was that?"

"Testing it out. You're not a bad kisser, he's just an idiot," he shrugged turning back to his drink. That's when I lost it. I laughed. Like full on belly laughs. I bent over I was laughing so hard but before I knew it I was slipping off the bar stool. My head going directly towards Daniels crotch but I couldn't stop it. He caught me and pulled me back into a sitting position on the stool. "Woah there. I know I'm a good kisser but we are in public."

"What?" I asked confused for a minute before looking at his joking smirk and his joke sinking in. I laughed again leaning on the bar this time. "Oh God! I'm so sorry. I'm worse than I thought I was!"

"Hey I'm not complaining," he smirked raising his hands.

"Well thanks for the complement," I laughed.

"I think we need shots," he grinned. I rolled my eyes but I was having too much fun to say no.

"Fill her up," I laughed handing him my shot glass. Once the other bartender filled them up, he handed me mine and grabbed his.

"To your new single and being good kissers!" Daniel cheered raising his shot glass to mine.

"Here, here!" I laughed. I threw it back.

"So, are you going to sing like you promised last time?" He asked. I shrugged.

"What do you want me to sing?" I asked.

"Anything," he shrugged.

"Ok, well first I have to go make a call," I said standing up. I stumbled my way out into the alley behind the bar. I grabbed my phone and dialed up Adrian.

"Why hello Little Red, or should I say benedict Arnold? Didn't expect to hear from you tonight," Adrian said as he answered. Luckily, I heard the smirk in his voice.

"Well I can't wait to find out how it went. Do I need to go into hiding?" I joked.

"Lucky for you it went well. We're taking it slow though."

"Yes! Damn I'm good!" I cheered.

"No, you're nosy and like to get into other people's business," he teased. "By the way are you drunk little red?"

"Maybe a little," I giggled. "Ok so maybe MORE than a little considering I did kiss a guy and fall into his lap."

"What? Backup red, what did you do? How do you accidentally land in someone's lap?" he asked worriedly.

"Well, my friend and I were talking about relationships and I said I thought I just must be a bad kisser, next thing I know he was kissing me and then I laughed so hard I fell face first into his lap, he caught me before I landed though," I rambled.

"O..K.." he said slowly. "How are you getting home Rose?"

"Um well I guess I'll third wheel it with Eddie and Mia though I'm sure they want to go home and do the dirty," I giggled.

"Do you need me to come get you?" he asked. I shrugged but when he didn't say anything, realized he couldn't see me.

"It's whatever. I'm not leaving anytime soon though. I'm actually having a lot of fun," I smiled. "I'm about to go sing in a minute. We're celebrating the single," I smiled.

"Well good. I'm glad you're having a great night. I'll come up there a little later to give you a ride home. If you decide to leave before I get up there call me," he said protectively. I smiled at his thoughtfulness.

"Ok. You can come hang out with us if you want," I offered.

"I will in a little while," he said.

"Adrian Ivashkov not jumping at the chance to go party? My you're a changed man already," I teased.

"Oh whatever. I'll come hang out in a little bit," he laughed. "Have a little fun for me red but not too much."

"Aye, Aye Captain," I joked saluting him before realizing he couldn't see so I laughed.

"I'm serious girl, don't get into too much trouble. Wait for me to arrive first." I pictured him winking and laughed.

"Whatever. I'll see you later," I said smiling.

"Bye little red, see you soon," he said before clicking off. I smiled as I put my phone in my pocket. I was enjoying the cooler air outside so I decided to sit against the wall for a second. While I sat down I thought about the last time I'd been out here in this alley. It'd been the argument/meltdown with Dimitri. I sighed when I thought about everything that's happened since then. We'd come so far only to jump even further back. I had hopes that one day we'd be able to rekindle our friendship but after the trip in Georgia, I realize that can never happen.

I shook my head trying not to think about it. I stood up and made my way back inside. I made my way towards the stage and I grabbed a guitar and sat on a stool in front of the mic. I smiled at the crowd.

"Hey everyone, I'm Rose, if you didn't know that. You'll have to forgive me because I'm a little tipsy but I promised a friend I'd sing. So, I don't really want to bring the mood down but there's two songs that I'd really like to sing," then I closed my eyes and sang a song I had never planned to see in public. It was too vulnerable and too much info to tell strangers. I personally blame the alcohol.

 **I remember the way you made love to me  
Like I was all you'd ever need  
Did you change your mind?  
Well I didn't change mine  
Now here I am trying to make sense of it all  
We were best friends now we don't even talk  
You broke my heart  
Ripped my world apart**

 **Didn't you know how much I loved you  
Didn't you know how much I loved you, baby  
I gave you everything, every part of me  
Didn't you feel it when I touched you  
Didn't I rock you when I loved you, baby  
Baby, tell me  
Didn't you know how much I loved you**

After the first chorus I opened my eyes and sang as if I was singing it to Dimitri instead of a crowd of strangers. I vaguely saw Eddie holding his phone but didn't pay much attention because I was avoiding looking at that part of the bar.  
 **  
I can't get you out of my head  
I still feel you in this bed  
Left me all alone  
You couldn't be more gone  
From falling apart to fighting mad  
From wanting you back to not giving a damn  
I've felt it all  
I've been to the wall**

 **Didn't you know how much I loved you  
Didn't you know how much I loved you, baby  
I gave you everything, every part of me  
Didn't you feel it when I touched you  
Didn't I rock you when I loved you, baby  
Baby, tell me  
Didn't you know how much I loved you**

 **One day justice will come and find you  
And I'll be right there in your memory to remind you**

 **Didn't you know how much I loved you  
Didn't you know how much I loved you, baby  
I gave you everything, every part of me  
Didn't you feel it when I touched you  
Didn't I rock you when I loved you, baby  
Baby, tell me**

 **Didn't you know how much I loved you  
Didn't you know how much I loved you, baby  
I gave you everything, every part of me  
Didn't you feel it when I touched you  
Didn't I rock you when I loved you, baby  
Baby, tell me  
I gave you everything, every part of me**

When I finished the crowd clapped and I smiled. "Thank you guys, you're amazing. One more song then I'm done for the night. I actually wrote this one like two days ago so let me know what you think."

 **I saw your picture in a paper, Honeymoon in Jamaica, she's a lucky girl  
You look so grown up in your black tux, from a ball cap in a pick up, seems like another world  
You and me and our big dreams, falling in love  
We were two kids in the backseat, all fearless and young**

 **I got the first kiss and she'll get the last  
She's got the future, and I got the past  
I got the class ring, she got the diamond and wedding band  
I got the boy, and she got the man**

 **Yeah there's the old you that I knew,  
Fake IDs to get into those spring break bars  
Back woods on a four wheel, hanging on tight, I can still feel my racing heart  
And now you're cleaned up with a hair cut, nice tie and shoes  
If things were different and I had a choice, which would I choose?**

 **I got the first kiss and she'll get the last  
She's got the future and I got the past  
I got the class ring, she got the diamond and wedding band  
I got the boy and she got the man**

 **I got the first kiss and she'll get the last  
We each got something, the other will never have  
I got the long hair, hot head  
She got the cool and steady hand  
I got the boy and she got the man  
I got the boy and she got the man**

The crowd cheered again and I smiled. I waved goodbye to the crowd before heading back towards the bar by Daniel.

"Happy now?" I asked with a smile as I sat beside him.

"Damn, I'm glad I'm not Dimitri. He's an idiot.

"Too damn right," I smiled at him. "Let's get a shot then go dance!"

"Sounds good. I have to leave early-ish tonight though. Some of us have work in the morning," he smirked. I waved down Mia and made the gesture for shots. She smiled at me and started pouring.

I think I do too…I'm not sure if I'm supposed to go in if my producer isn't there?" I said confused.

"Well that sounds like a problem for later," he laughed as Mia brought the shots over. These were straight purple but I didn't question her this time and just downed it.

"Dang that was good!" I exclaimed.

"Thank you!" she said proudly.

"So, Adrian is going to come pick me up later so I'm not third wheeling it home with you guys tonight," I told her.

"Oh, he doesn't need to do that," she said.

"Too late, I'm here," Adrian said from behind me. In a show of exactly how drunk I was, I squealed and hugged him, practically falling off of my stool. He steadied me and set me back on the stool.

"Dang Little Red, you should get drunk more often if I get that reception," he joked.

"Just be lucky I'm happy drunk right now," I teased. "You need shots to catch up. I need more shots!"

"I think you need to slow down a little Rose," Mia said with a smile.

"Since when do you tell me to slow down?" I asked.

"Since when do you get shit faced drunk?" she asked.

"Touch," I nodded.

"Umm I think you mean Touche," Daniel smirked.

"Yea that one," I said giving him a thumbs up. or at least trying to. Then I realized Adrian and Daniel didn't know each other yet. "Daniel, Adrian. Adrian, Daniel. He's the one I fell into earlier."

"Ah, lucky man," Adrian joked shaking hands with Daniel.

"Watch it mister, you have a girlfriend now," I said pointing at him.

"Not yet, I said we're taking it slow," he said.

"Mhmmm," I smirked. "Why are we standing here instead of dancing?"

I jumped off the stool and grabbed both Adrian and Daniels arms. That's when I noticed Eddie had came over at some point. As I led them to the dancefloor I hollered back at him, "You're welcome to join us or you can hang out with your girlfriend."

We danced for a while. Then the music abruptly cut off, we all looked around before I saw Mia on the stage.

"Hey everyone, thanks for coming out tonight. I'm Mia, one of the bartenders. Do you all remember the girl who sang earlier, Rose?" she asked and there was a chorus mostly of 'Yes's'. "Well what she didn't tell you was she has a single with Adrian Ivashkov that came out…4 minutes ago…I thought to celebrate and to show off my best friends mad skills, I would play it for you all. So enjoy and don't forget to go buy it if you like it! Oh and everyone tell Rose congratulations!"

Everyone yelled 'Congratulations' as she walked over and plugged her phone into the sound system. All of a sudden I hear the beginning 'Ohs' of our song before Adrians voice kicked in.

 **Been sittin' eyes wide open behind these four walls, hopin' you'll call  
It's just a cruel existence like it's no point hopin' at all**

 **Baby, baby, I feel crazy  
Up all night, all night and every day  
Give me somethin', oh, but you say nothin'  
What is happenin' to me?**

I turned to Adrian and hugged him excitedly, "This is our song!"

"I know Little Red, I helped make it," he laughed. I rolled my eyes at him. "How does it feel?"

"It feels amazing!" I exclaimed. Then I heard myself start singing and my jaw dropped. "That's me!"

"Yea Red it is," Adrian laughed. I jumped towards Daniel and hugged him, not able to contain my excitement.

"Congratulations girl," he smiled at me. I started dancing and singing the song out loud.

 **I don't wanna live forever  
'Cause I know I'll be livin' in vain  
And I don't wanna fit wherever  
I just wanna keep callin' your name  
Until you come back home  
I just wanna keep callin' your name  
Until you come back home  
I just wanna keep callin' your name  
Until you come back home  
I just wanna keep callin' your name  
Until you come back home  
I just wanna keep callin' your name  
Until you come back home  
**  
 _ **I just wanna keep callin' your name  
Until you come back home  
Until you come back home**_

As the song was coming to an end Mia came over with a tray of shots.

"This is the last round then you're cut off. You probably shouldn't even take this one but we're celebrating and you're not driving," she laughed handing them out to everyone. We clinked them together then downed them…well all except for Adrian. For whatever reason he turned his down.

"What'd you think?" I asked turning to Mia bouncing my eyebrows at her, she laughed.

"It was freaking amazing. Number one for sure!" she said confidently.

"You think?" I asked hesitantly.

"Hell yea!" she laughed. She looked over towards the bar and saw it was busy again. "Well I'm needed but you keep having fun."

She walked away with a wink and I started dancing again. We danced for a while before Daniel said he had to leave. Adrian and I paused to go get a drink before returning back to the dance floor. At some point, somehow, I found myself alone on the dance floor, I think Adrian had gone to the bathroom. The alcohol had definitely all kicked in and I could feel it but I was still enjoying it at the moment. Some guy came up and I started dancing with him but then he started getting really handsy and making me feel uncomfortable. I tried to pull away but he pulled me closer to him.

"Stop," I told him as firmly as I could manage.

"Oh come on, you know you want it," he said smugly. I tried to yank away but he was stronger. I pulled my arm back to hit the guy when all of a sudden I was flying backwards. I landed against a hard body and turned to find Eddie holding me up. I looked back towards the direction of where the guy was and saw Dimitri standing there holding the guy up by his shirt.

"Damn it! Not a-fucking-gain!" I exclaimed pissed Dimitri 'saved' me again. How was he even here?

"I think it would be wise to leave the lady alone when she clearly doesn't want your attention," Dimitri ground out ignoring me.

"Whatever, she's just a slut anyways. Shit, she was making out with one then all over two others. You can have her," the guy said. Before anyone could react, Dimitri punched the guy knocking him on his ass. The guy got up quickly and ran the other way. By now I had my bearings and was able to stand on my own. Dimitri turned towards me and if I wasn't in the mindset I was I would feel ashamed…well actually I did after what the guy said but I wasn't going to let it show.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked. Yea super drunk me cusses a lot when mad.

"Apparently saving your ass again," Dimitri said. I could tell he was seething and trying not to let it show. Everyone else would probably think he was just upset but I could tell by him cussing at me he was livid. Unfortunately, I was too drunk to back down.

"Well yet again I didn't fucking need you too! I had it handled!" I exclaimed. He reached over and grabbed my arm as he led me towards the exit.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"I'm taking you home. You're way too far gone. You can't even stand on your own," he said as I kept stumbling. Finally, he got fed up and swept me up into his arms.

"Put me down! My bag is over there!" I said slapping my hand against his chest then gesturing towards the bar.

"Trust me it's safer for the both of us if I don't. Hit me again and I'll throw you over my shoulder," he grunted heading towards the bar. A part of me wanted to try it and see if he would but I knew he wasn't bluffing. Dimitri never did when it came to stuff like that. I just sighed and crossed my arms. As we reached the bar Mia already had my bag and handed it to me across the bar. She was grinning like the cat that ate the canary. I glared at her before turning towards Adrian.

"You're an ass!" I said angrily.

"Paybacks a bitch huh?" he smirked.

"When I'm not drunk and quit seeing two of everything I'm going to kill you!" I warned. Dimitri started to walk off so I hollered back to them. "Apparently having fun is a crime now so, I gotta go!"

A chorus of bye's followed behind me. Once we hit outside I shivered a little bit. It had cooled down a lot but I was drunk so it didn't bother me too bad. I glared over at Dimitri.

"I feel like a child right now asshole," I grunted embarrassed.

"Well you shouldn't act like one," he said not looking at me. I could tell he was still pissed at me.

"I don't even get why you're so mad. That guy was the one you should be mad at. I didn't do anything wrong!" I defended.

"Except for get shitfaced to the point you can't defend yourself against guys like that and make-out with complete strangers," he stated.

"A, he wasn't a complete stranger. Two, it wasn't like that we were testing out…whatever it is you call it. And C what do you care? Where's your fiancé?" I asked I said throwing attitude in the fiancé part.

"What do you mean testing out what ever?" he asked. By now we were approaching his car. Thank god because I was actually starting to get comfortable and tired. I was fighting the urge to lay my head on his chest.

"We were seeing if we were good kissers," I mumbled. He set me down and opened the passenger door for me but stopped in front of me.

"Why would you do that?" he asked frowning.

"Don't frown, it creates wrinkles here," I said running my fingers across the lines on his forehead. Then I realized what I was doing and pulled my hands away. I made to get in the car but he stood in my way. "Move!"

"You didn't answer my question," he said crossing his arms in front of him.

"You are an ass! I'm not going to tell you because it's none of your business! I am 100% single and can do whatever I want with my life. Even if that means kissing 100 guys at a bar!" I said angrily.

"And you're ok with other guys thinking that you are a slut because you make out with random guys at a bar?" he asked. I could tell he was still pissed but trying not to show it.

"I kissed one guy! The other guys I was 'hanging' on was Adrian and Eddie. Both have girlfriends," I pointed out. "Now get out of my way or do you want to throw anymore accusations at me?"

"You are the most infuriating person I've ever met!" he said frustrated as he moved out of the way. He started to head around the car towards the drivers side.

"Back at you Comrade!" I called after him. I climbed in the car and buckled my seat belt. He climbed in and did the same. He pulled out and started towards my apartment. "How do you know where I live?"

"Because I had Adrian give me the address earlier," he said grumpily.

"That traitor. Remind me to kill him tomorrow," I said crossing my arms. I leaned against the door. The sleepiness was starting to hit hard.

"Probably should wait until at least after the showcase, preferably after you finish the album," Dimitri smarted.

"I'll decided when later," I mumbled. "I'm going to take a nap now. You can yell at me later."

"Get some rest. I shouldn't have yelled at you earlier," he said softly. I could hear the anger had faded.

"I actually had fun tonight," I muttered. "Been a long time."

I didn't hear if he'd replied because I was out as soon as I stopped talking. I faded out into a dream. I was curled up on a couch in front of a fire. I looked down at my stomach and saw the small swell of my baby bump. I heard a rustling to the right and looked over to see Dimitri doing something in the kitchen. I smiled softly. Then all of a sudden I started getting cold. I shivered and turned towards the fire and saw it was dying. I turned to ask Dimitri to fix it but when I looked back the kitchen was dark and empty. I felt pain in my abdomen and looked down to find I was shirtless and my baby bump was gone, just ugly scars left behind. I clutched my stomach as a gasp escaped me. I closed my eyes and wished it all away. Slowly I started warming up again. I felt like I was floating. I felt something solid beside me and burrowed into it. It reminded me of the few times Dimitri's carried me. I smiled sadly remembering the comfort of his arms.

"Why'd you disappear?" I murmured questioningly. "Why do you always disappear?"

Then everything drifted away again but I stayed warm and comfortable.


	29. Chapter 27 Hangovers and Press

**Guys! This chapter has been crazy to write! I decided based off of one of my reviews to try and do a DPOV and while I'm not super satisfied with it, I managed to get you a small one. DPOV are so hard for me to write and I'm not sure why. This one I think it was because I didn't want to give too much away. Then after I did the DPOV I had half of this chapter written out when yet again I lost everything but the DPOV! Then when I went to re-write the chapter, it didn't seem to come out as good as the original…so like I said this chapter has been a struggle. I really hope you enjoy it. If not well…next chapter is a MAJOR chapter (that's all the hint you're getting) so hopefully it will make up for it!**

 **Ok so somewhat contest/chance to get a part in this story. I need at least three new characters…they might not all show up in this story but if I do a sequel they definitely will at least be in there. Right now I need a male character that will be another producer, and two characters male or female to be Rose's manager and PR rep. usually managers tend to be males and PR reps, female but I'm open to either.**

 **I could come up with them on my own but you all always have great ideas and come up with some pretty neat stuff so I figured I would give you a chance to add your own character in this story!**

 **I hope you enjoy this chapter! Let me know what you think!**

 _ **Rose 4 months pregnant:**_

 _I pulled up to the house and groaned as I saw Stan's car in the driveway. I haven't told my parents I'm pregnant and even though I know I should have already, I don't plan on it anytime soon. It helps that I'm not really showing. I've gained a little weight but it's not super noticeable and I've been wearing baggy clothes to hide it. I groaned knowing he was about to get pissed that I have Dimitri's truck. Seeing as he's not using it and he's not talking to anyone, Olena gave me the keys and told me to start using it so I don't have to rely on other people for rides, especially in case of emergency. I made my way inside and found Stan in the living room watching Tv. He muted it when I entered._

" _About damn time you showed up. I've been here for hours. Where were you?" he asked angrily._

" _I was at work. I got a job down at the local diner," I told him. I'd decided that if I was going to have a baby I needed money to support myself. I still had my credit card from my parents and was still using it but I didn't know if that would continue when they found out about the baby so Mark had been giving me shifts waitressing at his diner every now and then. I'd told him about my situation so I was only working one or two days a week right now._

" _What, is my money not good enough for you?" he asked standing up._

" _No, I just decided to get a job for a little extra so I could save up for a car," I told him._

" _How'd you get home tonight?" he asked._

" _I'm borrowing Dimitri's truck from the Belikovs. He moved to California so Olena told me I could borrow it until I could get a car of my own."_

" _Oh, did he get tired of you? Catch you whoring around? Or better yet is it because you're getting fat?" he asked looking me up and down. "You really should start exercising more."_

" _He left to join a band. They've actually become pretty popular," I told him ignoring the fat remarks._

" _Oh really? Let me guess, you think he's going to get famous then come back for your fat ass? Then you'll get to leave here and live your happily ever after. Get rid of those fantasies, you're not worth it and he knows it. You're just a whore and that's all you'll ever be. You're probably getting fat because you got knocked up," he said. I didn't know what to say so I stayed silent. I knew now was my opportunity to admit I was pregnant but I wasn't going to after those remarks. "Why so silent? Not so tough without Mr. Bodyguard being here, getting in the way, butting in where he doesn't belong. He's not here to save you anymore."_

" _I don't need him to. He taught me how to defend myself so I wouldn't need him here," I told him praying he wouldn't test that._

" _Oh, you think you're tough now?" he asked coming face to face practically spitting on me he was so close. "Are you all big and bad now?"_

" _No, but I'm also not going to let you hit me again," I told him honestly._

" _I can do whatever the hell I want Rosemarie, you'd better remember that!" he said seething. Surprisingly he didn't swing though. He backed off and went and sat back in his chair. "Go to bed, you disgust me."_

" _Goodnight," I said turning and walking away, rolling my eyes as I left the room. I was glad that hadn't escalated. I would have done whatever it meant to protect my baby but I really didn't want to have to fight with my father. I sighed as I locked my door. I quickly changed into my pajama's which was really just a pair of athletic shorts and one of Dimitri's T-shirts that I'd stolen. I curled up in my bed as I dialed Dimitri's phone and listened as it took me to voicemail again…_

 **Present:**

 **DPOV:**

I pulled into the lot of the bar Mia bartends at and quickly found a parking spot. I'd been trying to get here for a while but the meeting seemed to last forever. Luckily for the studio, right after Rose and Adrian left, I decided to drive my truck back to LA and sent Tasha home on a plane. That meant when they called me 5 hours ago about a showcase in two weeks and telling me they needed me back ASAP, I was able to head to the studio immediately and start working on the plans. That's where I ran into Adrian and Sydney. We'd been in a meeting discussing set line ups and what songs they would be performing when Roza had called Adrian. I heard him say something about her being drunk and falling into a guy's lap. When he got off the phone, he'd assured me it was fine, she'd lost her balance but was perfectly fine and that he was going to pick her up when we were done to give her a ride home. I still felt unsettled but decided to let it go when he said she'd sounded genuinely happy. At some point he'd suggested me picking her up if that'd make me feel better and I agreed.

That's how I found myself walking into a karaoke club at 1 in the morning after having very little sleep and driving for 3 days. As soon as I started towards the bar Mia had spotted me and pointed me towards the dance floor. I changed directions planning to just check on her then go back to the bar. I don't know how this Rose is when she's drunk but old Rose got a little wild when she got drunk and definitely needed someone watching her around the clock. After about 10 seconds I spotted her in some guys arms. Immediately I felt a surge of irrational jealousy that quickly turned to anger when I saw her pull away and him try to pull her closer. That bastard. I saw Eddie heading towards her as I charged the guy, I yanked him away from her and held him up by his shirt. I'd seen Roza stumble but Eddie catch her so I didn't release him just yet.

I warned him away not planning on actually hitting him. Unfortunately, I snapped when I heard him call her a slut. After I punched him, he quickly scurried off. I turned towards her and saw she was clearly gone and could barely stand on her own.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she asked.

"Apparently saving your ass again," I smarted off trying to hold back my anger. I grabbed her arm, not hard but enough to get her walking and keep her mostly stable, and started leading her to the door.

"Well yet again I didn't fucking need you too! I had it handled!" she exclaimed slurring. If I wasn't so pissed I would have laughed. Only she would think she would have been able to fight him off even though she couldn't stand on her own.

After her making pissy remarks to her friends and me carrying her, I managed to get her into my truck safe and sound. She tried to argue some more but quickly the alcohol buzz started wearing off. I laughed when she told me she was going to take a nap and then I could yell at her. Of course, she would plan it out, nap first then trouble. I honestly hadn't meant to yell at her earlier. It was just hearing her falling into a guy's lap, then seeing her in someone else's arms then hearing him say she'd been making out with someone earlier. It just all added up and as much as I hated to admit it, I was blind with jealousy.

Before I'd left Georgia, I'd broken things off with Tasha and given Babushka her ring back. It should have never gotten that far to begin with. Even though I broke up with Tasha, it didn't mean I was ready to hop straight over to Rose. There's still so much animosity and resentment built up plus I know she's hiding things from me and based on the way she spoke about them, I'm not sure I'm ready to hear them. There's so much left unsaid and I'm not sure I'm ready to tell her about the last five years yet. I did a lot of thinking during the three-day drive and did decide eventually to tell her. I might just wait until after the showcase. That's going to need all of our attention for the next two weeks.

 **Rose POV:**

I awoke with a throbbing in my head. I cracked an eye and rolled over away from the bright sun. I buried my head in the covers hoping I could sleep the hangover off. All of a sudden, I heard my phone from the nightstand, I blindly reached for it and answered.

"What?" I croaked into the phone without looking at who called.

"Ah Little Red glad you finally woke up," Adrian laughed in the phone, I groaned.

"Can you be a little quieter in your smugness?" I asked. "What do you mean finally?"

"We've been calling for an hour and a half. We need you in the studio to get to work on this showcase," he said.

"Who's we?" I asked slowly getting out of bed and trying not to throw up. I made my way to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water and some Ibuprofin.

"Dimitri and I. you need to get ready caus-"

"Wait that wasn't a dream?" I asked a little too loudly, wincing at my own voice. I downed the rest of the water hoping it would help. I couldn't remember all of what happened. I remembered all the way up until the dancefloor. I vaguely remember a guy getting handsy, then I went back, he called me a slut, Dimitri punched him, then I remember him carrying me.

"No red, it wasn't," he laughed. "He also should be showing up at your apartment anytime now. he went to go grab food and said he'd grab you while he was out since you wouldn't wake up for our phone calls. I was hoping you'd answer so I could give you at least a small warning."

About then there was a knock at the door.

"Yea, thanks. He's here now. Guess I'll see you soon," I said hanging up and walking over to the door. I let out a small groan before opening the door. Unfortunately for both of us, as I opened the door I realized I didn't have pants on. I hadn't noticed until Dimitri's face pretty much pointed it out.

"I have to shower, then I'll be ready," I said pretending as if this wasn't happening. I turned and made my way straight to the bathroom while I tried to remember what had happened to my pants. I was in the tank top I'd had under my shirt, luckily it was a long one. I still had my bra and underwear on. So, what happened to my shirt and pants?

I took a quick shower while I thought about everything I could remember. When I got out I still didn't have any answers. Luckily for me, I'm kind of a slob so I had some clean clothes already in the bathroom from trying on outfits and whatever else. I put on some underwear and leggings that were hanging on my towel rack and the bra and tank top I'd just taken off. Unfortunately, I didn't have any spare t-shirts in the bathroom and I was not about to walk out into the apartment with Dimitri here, shirtless. I wasn't going to let him see my scars. I walked out and saw Dimitri sitting on the couch. My apartment wasn't very big, actually it's pretty small. Just a small kitchen that consisted of a refrigerator, stove, microwave and a small counter. Then it led into the living room which had a medium tv on a small tv stand and a medium sized couch. Then came the 'bedroom' which had a queen-sized bed, a nightstand and a dresser on the back wall. All open and cozy. At least for me. Others would probably think it's small and stuffy but I loved it. It's my first place that I've ever had on my own and perfect for just me.

"So, while I finish getting ready, want to tell me what happened last night? I don't remember anything after you showing up except you carrying me out. Which up until Adrian called me right before you showed up, I'd thought was all a dream. Plus want to tell me how I ended up with no pants on?" I asked him while I went over to my dresser and pulled out a long baseball tee that just says 'music is the answer' with some music notes. I grabbed a new tank top and went to the bathroom keeping the door cracked while I changed.

"I was there when you called Adrian, I told him I'd take you home. When I showed up some guy was grabbing you and you were pulling away so I pulled him off of you then I hit him. Then I realized you were too drunk to even walk so I carried you out and brought you home. I carried you in, put you in bed. You took your own pants off saying normal people can't sleep in jeans. I made sure you were in bed and asleep, then I left." he said while I finished getting ready. I internally groaned when he mentioned the pants because that does sound exactly like me. After I put on the clothes, I brushed my hair, sprayed some anti-frizz serum in it then pinned part of it back like I actually tried. I put some concealer on to hide the bags under my eyes then walked out.

"I'm ready," I said reluctantly. Luckily the meds had helped a little with the headache so it wasn't pounding but it hadn't gone away and I was still nauseous. I went over to my bed and grabbed my bag and put it over my shoulder. "Let's get this day over with."

"Don't sound so excited," he smirked as he stood up and made his way to the door. Then he turned and held out a key. "By the way, I took your house key off your ring last night so I could lock up then I slid it under the door for you."

"You stole my house key?" I asked grabbing it from him as he turned and walked out the door. I followed and locked it.

"No, I slid it back under the door so I borrowed it for a few seconds. I wasn't going to leave with the door unlocked, especially not in this neighborhood," he said looking around.

"Hey this is a perfectly fine neighborhood. Yea it's not fancy or anything but it's not a bad area. Just poor," I defended. I actually didn't know much about the neighborhood, I'd seen one or two of my neighbors coming in and out. We'd nodded politely but that was about it. I hadn't heard about any break ins or robberies and it seemed pretty safe. I mean if I had kids I wouldn't let them outside by themselves and I definitely wouldn't leave my doors unlocked but it wasn't bad.

By now we'd gotten to his truck, the one from Georgia. "I see you brought your truck out here…"

"Yea, I drove back the day after you left. I had actually just gotten into town when the studio called me to come home so I went straight there."

"Oh, I figured you'd stay a few more days at least," I said as he opened the passenger door for me. I climbed in as he walked around to his side and got in.

"No, it was time for me to come back too. I had some thinking to do and things I needed to get in order so I came back. I'm thinking about flying them out here soon though. By the way I got some stuff for you," he said pulling up a grocery bag. It had coconut water, Gatorade, and a paper bag of donut holes. "I got the coconut water because that's what works best for hangovers but I figured you'd be picky so I got your favorite Gatorade also. I was going to get donuts but I figured you wouldn't be very hungry for a while."

"Because you bought it, I will try it but there's no guarantee I will drink it. You're right, I'm not really hungry at all. Actually, I'm trying not to throw up right now," I told him. "So, I know we have a lot to talk about and all but can we please wait until after this showcase? I don't want our history and our issues getting in the way when we have to focus on that."

"I was thinking the same thing. We do need to talk about a lot of things but you're right this showcase is important and I don't want anything getting in the way of it either," he admitted.

"Well I'm glad we're on the same page," I said. Though it was my idea a part of me was saddened that he agreed but I can't explain why. I pulled my phone out to text Mia but when it lit up I was shocked. My phone had been blown up while I was asleep. At first it was Lissa and Vika texting about the single but then it progressed to them and Mia blowing up my texts about not one but TWO TMZ articles. "What the hell? TMZ released two articles about me?"

"Oh yea, I was going to save that for when we got to the studio. I was trying to save you as long as I could," Dimitri said. "You're lucky they don't know where you live. They were surrounding my building today."

"Oh no," I mumbled pulling the articles up. The first one wasn't too bad. It talked about how Dimitri and I had grown up together and how I'd said I was single but it speculated about a possible romance history and whether or not a romance was brewing with Dimitri and I. The second one had videos of me singing both songs last night and started insinuating they were about Dimitri (they were but they didn't have to know that) and how I was his heartbroken lover that's came back to haunt him and how I'm why he broke up with Tasha. Again, not for sure where they got that from considering they broke up but then…

"Wait this says you and Tasha broke up and has videos of her with someone else?" I asked.

"We did," he said like it wasn't huge news.

"You have the worst timing in the world," I told him.

"Really? You've practically been begging me to break up with her since you got here and I do and you're mad about my timing?" he asked with a laugh.

"Yes, because now I look like a jilted lover and a homewrecker!" I said annoyed. "When I left you were engaged?"

"Yea, that should have never happened to begin with," he muttered pulling into the parking lot. "We're going to get it straightened out. We're going to meet up with Alberta right now to talk about what we're going to do."

"Oh great," I muttered climbing out. As I did I saw a swarm of paparazzi out front. Luckily, the studio had a private parking lot and a private side entrance that I'd always used and they couldn't get to. Unfortunately, it was open and they could see us get out of the same car and walk in together. I stopped by studio C to drop off my drinks and donut holes then we made our way to Alberta's office.

"Hi Rose, how are you feeling? Adrian and Dimitri said you were feeling under the weather?" she asked with an expression that made me believe she knew exactly what was wrong but pretending to believe it this time.

"I'm not feeling the best but a lot better than I was. I'm so sorry I wasn't here earlier. I forgot to set an alarm and overslept. I promise it won't happen again," I told her.

"Well I'm glad you're feeling better and I hope it doesn't become a regular occurrence," she said giving me a look.

"It won't."

"Good, now we have a few issues to straighten out. Good news or bad news first?"

"Well assuming I know what the bad news is about, how about good news first?" I asked with a small smile.

"Your duet is selling off the charts. Last, I checked you're already at number 4 on iTunes and it hasn't been a full day. I expect you'll hit number one by the end of the day," she said with a smile.

"You're kidding? Really? That means a lot of people have bought it right?" I asked even though I knew the answer to the question.

"A couple of million, yes," she laughed as my jaw dropped. "That being said, your TMZ articles and videos have probably helped a little. Everyone wants to know about Dimitri's lover," she said rolling her eyes. "The one thing I hate about this industry is the paparazzi. Unfortunately, it's inevitable. So, I have to ask. Are you two seeing each other or do you plan on seeing each other?"

"No ma'am," I told her shaking my head.

"Ok. Well we're doing a small press conference today to announce the showcase, we'll have you both speak and answer a few questions about it. We will also have Adrian and Sydney there so hopefully that will take away from some of the prying. You will probably need to give more details about your history, not all of the details or anything. Just that you knew each other and then bumped into each other again. Dimitri, you will give a statement about your breakup and how it had nothing to do with Rose. Also for the next few weeks, I don't want you two seen together in public by yourself. I understand he gave you a ride today but if you can try to get a different ride home. The sooner we can kill this buzz the better. Luckily, and no offense Dimitri, people didn't really seem to love Tasha so most people aren't too mad at Rose, some are even happy, but we don't need to stir the pot. The press conference is at 3 so until then I want you to get ready for the showcase. I've already talked to Dimitri about it all so he knows what you need to do there. Adrian and Sydney are going to be back up here soon to work with you two and so you can get a schedule. Any questions?"

"No, I think you covered everything," I nodded.

"I'm good," Dimitri nodded.

"Ok well I've already told Dimitri the timeline, there's a few days next week you'll have to do some media events but there's not really any this week. He'll fill you in on everything and later this week I want to meet with you to talk about it more since I know you're new to this all. We also need to work on finding you a manager and a PR representative. Until then I will handle some of it and some of it I'm going to have Eddie take over. We'll discuss it more later though."

"Ok, sounds good," I smiled half-heartedly.

"Ok well that's all I had so you're free to go, Rose will you stay for a minute?"

"Sure," I said hesitantly. Dimitri stood up, nodded to Alberta then walked out shutting the door behind him. she turned to me and clasped her hands on her desk leaning forward.

"How are you doing Rose?" she asked.

"I'm good?" I said shrugging. She looked at me knowingly.

"I know when you first came here you and Dimitri didn't get along, I've pretty much connected a lot of the dots. I know it's not easy working with an ex and even harder throwing the paparazzi in the mix. Plus adding in starting a music career, doing two albums at once and adding in a last-minute showcase into it. You've got a lot going on," she said warmly.

"I'm a little overwhelmed. Or a lot overwhelmed but I'll be ok," I told her honestly. "As overwhelming as it is I'm equally excited so that makes it easier. Plus, I do have Adrian helping me out with it all. And somedays I have Dimitri helping me with it also. We've agreed on a truce until after the showcase."

"Ok. Well if it gets too hard working with him, we do have a studio in New York with a producer that's free but that would mean moving there for a few months and I really would prefer for that to be a last case scenario especially when you don't have a manager or a PR Rep."

"I appreciate it but I think right now we'll be ok. Plus, I'm sure it would be easier to record a duet album if all of the voices are in the same place," I joked.

"It's a hell of a lot easier," she laughed a small laugh. "But it is possible to do it if you're in separate states. Like I said though, that's a last resort."

"I understand. I appreciate you checking in," I told her honestly.

"No problem and if you ever need to talk, I'm here for you," she smiled softly before her face turning serious. "But no more late nights partying when you have to work the next day."

"I promise. I didn't even mean for that to happen. I just went to hang out with Mia then they turned it into a release party. If it makes it any better, I don't plan on drinking again for another 5 to 10 years," I smiled. She laughed.

"Ok well as long as you're ok and doing well, you can go work on the showcase. Oh, and I forgot to mention, you need to be in wardrobe at 2:00, you need to put some make-up on and I figure you'll want to change, so I'll have people up there to help you out then."

"Ok, thank you," I said gratefully. I quickly left and made my way to the studio.

A few hours later, I'd had my make-up done, changed into dress pants and a nice gray blouse. We'd worked out a schedule of rehearsals and Dimitri had filled me in on the media events we had for the showcase. One included a late-night show. Luckily Dimitri wasn't doing all of them since he is also a producer on the album and is going to be busy with that. Dimitri and I hadn't really talked much. Sydney and Adrian luckily had forgiven me, though Adrian kept yelling and messing with me since he knew I was hungover as payback. Finally, it was showtime.

We all made our way to a room with a table set up at the front for us to sit at and a few rows of chairs filled with reporters. I was glad I'd changed and put on make-up when I saw all of the cameras. Dimitri sat on the far left with me beside him, Alberta beside me, then Adrian and Sydney. Alberta started things off.

"Welcome everyone, we've invited you here because we have an announcement and because we wanted to clear the air a little. Rose and Adrian came to us with a duet they wanted to release so ultimately, we decided not only to release it but to do a full album of them. Since that decision it has grown and we've added Dimitri Belikov and Sydney Sage. We're donating half of the proceeds from the album to a charity that will be named later as it's all still in progress. We've also decided to give you a little teaser by holding a showcase concert next Friday, you can get tickets through Ticketmaster, the link will be on all of their social media pages. Any questions?"

One of the reporters raised his hand and she nodded to him. "What will be the pairings for the duets?"

"It's all still a work in progress but as of right now it will be Adrian and Rose. Adrian and Sydney. Rose and I, and I believe there will be one or two of Sydney and Rose," Dimitri said after Alberta had turned to him as the producer.

"Is there a timeframe of when the duet album will be released?" another reporter asked. Alberta took back over on that one.

"We're planning on it to be released sometime early next year. The official release date will be announced in the next few days."

"Are you still adding any people to the album?"

"We have talked about adding more people but as of right now there are no talks in the works and no one we've approached to add onto the album. We're pretty happy with the four artists we have."

"Any truth to the rumor Rose broke Dimitri and Tasha up and how will that play into this album?"

"I will let Dimitri answer that one," she said nodding to him.

"Unfortunately, it is true that Tasha and I have ended our relationship after nearly 4 years. That being said it was entirely because of her and I and had nothing to do with Rose. Unfortunately, I just felt like we had grown apart and that our differences were irreparable and didn't make for a good relationship. I do care about Tasha, she was one of my first friends here in LA and I hope we will remain friends in the future. I wish her nothing but the best in the future. Like I said Rose had nothing to do with it and it will not affect the album at all," Dimitri said sincerely. I will admit, I had to fight not to roll my eyes during parts of his speech but I think I maintained my composure very well.

"What is the truth of you and Dimitri's history?" a reporter asked me.

"Dimitri and I met in elementary school and we grew up in the same town. Over the years I became very good friends with his sister. After he left town we lost contact. We ended up running into each other when he ended up being the producer assigned to me when they signed me to the label. During a rough period in my life, after he'd moved to LA, his family took me in as their own and I grew close to them which explains why I went back to Georgia when his sister gave birth."

"Were the songs in the videos from last night about him?"

"They were both about an ex I had in high school," I admitted not really answering the question but not lying either.

"So, were you and Rose ever in a romantic relationship?" the reporter asked Dimitri.

"Rose and I did date for a brief time in high school," Dimitri said also avoiding but not lying. While I knew what he was doing for some reason it hurt to hear our love reduced to such a simple sentence.

"Rose how do you feel about Dimitri and Tasha breaking up? Dimitri said you had nothing to do with it but will you try to get back together now that he's single?"

"Wow, so much for a _personal_ life," I joked. "Like I said Dimitri and I are friends. I wish nothing but the best for him and wish him all of the happiness in the world. That being said I have no plans of rekindling our relationship nor does Dimitri. Right now, we just want to work on this album. We're both really excited for it and that's the only focus."

"So, does that mean you're not beginning a romance with Adrian either?" A different reporter asked. I laughed.

"Well, I guess you didn't notice the fact that Adrian came in holding hands with Sydney," I laughed. I hoped that would get the focus on them instead of me.

"Adrian, how long have you and Sydney been dating?"

"Sydney and I dated a few years ago, then yesterday Rose brought Sydney in to add onto the album and we decided to try again," he said smiling at her. She smiled back but looked a little uncomfortable with the attention. I don't think the reporters could see it though. They asked her and him a few more questions about their relationship, how'd they meet, why'd they wait so long in between, etc., before turning back to me.

"Rose how does Sydney and Adrian's relationship make you feel? It seemed you two were getting pretty close."

"It makes me really excited. I'm the one that orchestrated them getting back together and I'm excited it worked. I think they're great for each other. Adrian and I are close. We're good friends. The first night you caught us out was the day we'd met. We'd just wrote our duet "I don't want to live forever' that was released last night and we were celebrating. There has never been anything romantic between us. He's turned out to be a great friend to me and one of the few I have here in LA since I just moved here. Look I know you all want the relationship gossip and you're always trying to pair celebrities up, not that I am one at all. If you see two in the same room more than once then you say they're dating but the truth is, I am not dating anyone and have no plans to. I just got out of a not so great relationship and I haven't had the best of luck the last few years with romance so right now I just want to work on this album and my career. I was just given the opportunity of a lifetime and that's what I want to focus on."

"Ok, I think that's enough for today. We will post any other updates on our site and on social media. Don't forget to go buy tickets for the showcase," Alberta said standing up. We all followed her example and stood up. When she finished talking she turned and made her way to the door as we followed. When we got to the hallway Adrian turned towards me and put his arm around my shoulders.

"You did great Little Red. Really great first press conference. Though I am disappointed that when they asked you about me being off the market you didn't tell them how devastated you were that you'll never get a chance at this handsome beast," he smirked at me. I playfully shoved him away.

"You wish," I laughed rolling my eyes.

"Rose that went very well. Better than expected," Alberta admitted with a smile.

"Well, I've been answering questions about Dimitri and I for weeks now so it's become pretty easy," I joked. We said our goodbyes as Sydney and Adrian left and Alberta went back to her office. Dimitri and I went into Studio C to work on the showcase playlist.

"I don't think they completely believe that I wasn't the reason you two broke up though," I told him as we entered the studio.

"Yea, I'm not sure they did either," Dimitri admitted.

"You know you're break up is very inconvenient," I teased.

"Jeez, thanks. I'll try to time them better in the future so they affect you as little as possible," he smarted off.

"Thank you. I'd appreciate that," I smirked. He rolled his eyes. I went and sat in the chair beside his at the sound booth and changed subjects, "Ok so what are we doing right now?"


	30. Chapter 28 Revelations

**So Funny story. I had this chapter completely done the day after my last update but, the more I read it the more I hated it. I could have sworn I had written a different version a while back but I couldn't find it. Finally, I said screw it and was literally writing the AN when I realized I had written it before and what I had saved it as. Unfortunately the version I liked, didn't quite fit with the story so I was trying to merge the two stories when I got a super sick and quit working on it. I mean I'm still updating within a week but I was aiming for a surprise update within a few days of the last update…so sorry guys. On the plus side, the next chapter is halfway written so it SHOULD be up within a week. That being said, it is a complicated chapter so it might not be.**

 **The flashback in this chapter is in the middle of the chapter and you will see why. I think everyone should be pretty content with this chapter…let me know what you think…**

 **Ps. There is a slightly M segment. Nothing too bad. I should add there could be some triggering content also.**

 _ **Present:**_

The next week and a half went by pretty quickly. We were busy most of them time. We had figured out all the songs we were doing and who was performing when. I'd been informed that thanks to the popularity of the videos I had to sing 'Didn't you know how much I love you' and that it had to go on my album. The video of it went pretty viral and people were pretty much demanding it. We did a song with all four of us to open the show with, then we'd break things up. We'd done a decent amount of publicity for the show and the album. A few radio shows and a few interviews. It was exciting and what made it better was, as Alberta predicted by the end of the day we were number one on iTunes and we were in the top ten on the billboard charts and still climbing. The press conference we'd done had really helped. Quite a few people still believed I broke Tasha and Dimitri up but for the most part they were ok with it. There were still quite a few people that were pissed off about it but I mostly just ignored them. Dimitri and I hadn't talked about anything outside of the music or the showcase, we've managed to get a long pretty well with only a couple of minor fights about lyrics and music. Today was the day before the showcase, we were at the venue doing rehearsals and sound checks. Dimitri flew his family out for the showcase so everyone except Sonya and the baby were here. She didn't want to put the baby on a plane just yet. He offered to fly Lissa and Mason out but Lissa had a big presentation final this week and Mason's mother was sick so he didn't want to leave her by herself. Dimitri had done his sound check earlier then Adrian and Sydney followed. Now it was my turn. Luckily, we weren't doing the duets today, we'd practiced them enough. It was tough doing some of the duets with Dimitri, especially when working on lyrics. Especially when most of the songs I could use as duets were about our relationship…

"Ok, last song then we're done for the day," Dimitri said from the sound booth. Because it was just a showcase, it was a pretty small event. Or at least that's what I've been informed. It's the largest place I've ever performed. It was at least five times as big as our high school auditorium, given our auditorium wasn't super huge since we were a small school and small town. I had been told it could hold a couple of thousand.

"Ok boys," I said to the band. I was borrowing Adrian's band since we didn't have time to get one for me but they were really cool about it and I liked them a lot. For this song, Dimitri decided I shouldn't play and just sing but it was hard. Especially knowing Dimitri was watching and there was no crowd to distract me. Why'd I have to get drunk and sing this song?

 **I remember the way you made love to me**

 **Like I was all you'd ever need**

 **Did you change your mind?**

 **Well I didn't change mine**

 **Now here I am trying to make sense of it all**

 **We were best friends now we don't even talk**

 **You broke my heart**

 **Ripped my world apart**

"Stop." Dimitri cut in over the sound system. "I need you to perform like it's the real thing. Not like you're singing along to someone else's song."

"Yes sir," I muttered sarcastically. "Ok, take two."

This time he didn't cut me off. I closed my eyes and tried to pretend he wasn't there. Unfortunately for me, somewhere in the middle of the song, I opened my eyes and accidentally connected with Dimitri's gaze. Out of nowhere the anger and frustrations hit me all over again and it turned into me singing the song to him. Every Angry accusation and every heartfelt plea for answers. It was like something finally snapped and I couldn't contain it anymore. When the song ended I realized I had a few tears running down my cheeks. I quickly put the mic up and headed to my dressing room wiping them off as I left the stage. I sat at the vanity and put my head in my hands as the tears kept coming. I had them pretty much stopped when someone knocked at the door. I stood and wiped my face knowing there was no way to hide I'd been crying. I went and answered the door trying to keep my head down knowing who it was.

"Oh Roza," he said softly. I could see his resolve finally crumble as he reached out for me and wrapped me in a hug. "We need to talk,"

"Yea we do. I need to tell you something."

"Ok but can I go first?" he asked. He pulled me over to the couch they had in the dressing room. "I need to tell you why I stopped all contact."

"Ok," I said breathlessly. Honestly I kind of didn't think he'd ever tell me. I had almost given up hope he would.

"When I left. Once I got out here, it was lonely. The band all knew each other, they'd been playing for a while together so they were all good friends. They did accept me in and treated me as if we hadn't just met. They quickly became good friends of mine but it was different. I missed you, I missed home. Everything was happening so quick, we quickly were recording a new album, they had us start doing shows. We were constantly busy and constantly moving. I was constantly thinking about when I would get a chance to call you or write you or hell even text you, eventually I decided I needed to stop. As bad as it sounds I figured I needed to cleanse you from my system so I could make things work with the band. I figured it would make things easier for the both of us. You deserved more than a random two-minute call once a week and I couldn't give it to you. Then…we started drinking and going out. At first I was hesitant but Ivan convinced me it would distract me so I went. It did help at first but then as I drank more and more it stopped affecting me as much. I just was so miserable and lonely I needed something to make me numb. That's when someone offered me some pills and I was drunk enough I took them. When I woke up the next morning I knew there was no going back. I had been weak and you and the family deserved more than that. Then in my own twisted mind I figured 'well if I'm not talking to them anyway I can continue' so I did."

"Hey, you weren't weak," I said softly reaching over and squeezing his hand.

"It continued and became a viscous cycle. If we weren't recording or performing or doing interviews, we were drinking and popping pills. All of us. Tasha had worked in one of videos so she went out with us a few times. Ivan thought she was hot so he kept inviting her but she'd always end up with me. I didn't do anything with her at that point though. I told her I wasn't interested she said she understood and we became friends. Ivan moved on but she still kept coming out with us. One night she kissed me and I immediately backed off. I felt like I was betraying you even though at that point we hadn't talked in months. She followed me to my hotel room after I stormed off and we talked. I told her how I wasn't ready for a new relationship and she said she understood she wouldn't try anything else and we could remain friends. We went back to the bar, I had been drinking but wasn't drunk just yet. When we got back to the bar Ivan was ready to go to another club but I told him I wanted to stay there. He was wasted. I'm not sure what all he'd taken but I knew he was in no condition to drive. I told him get a taxi go to the next bar and I'd meet him there. It was nothing for us to be wasted and go to three more clubs so I didn't think anything of it. As I was leaving that bar I realized Ivan had never texted me telling me where to meet him. I called him but a cop answered and told me he'd been in accident and they were taking him to the hospital. I rushed over there but by the time we got there he was gone."

"Hey it wasn't your fault. You told him to call a cab," I told him still trying to take this all in. By now he had tears silently falling and it broke my heart to see him like this.

"But I should have gone with him," he said sadly. "After that I sobered up. I locked myself in a motel for a week to purge my system. I've drank maybe twice now but only one drink or two. I won't let someone else die because I let them down. Even though I sobered up I was too ashamed of everything I had done, the drugs, Tasha, Ivan, I knew I couldn't come back. I couldn't face you or mama, or any of my sisters. I was ashamed I had even convinced myself it was best to drop all contact."

"Comrade…you're an idiot," I chuckled humorlessly. I scooted closer to him and grabbed both of his hands in mine. "But I understand. You know I would never EVER look down on you. You're human and you have flaws. You're not weak, you were lonely. Even after everything you just told me, I still think you are one of the strongest people I've ever met. You realized you were heading down a bad path so you sobered up by yourself, do you know how hard that is and how many people don't make it? You are not to blame for Ivan's death. He was an adult who made his own decisions. You told him to get a cab and thought he had. From what you just said that was normal for you all. That's not your fault."

"You never cease to amaze me," he smiled sadly. "I'm sorry. I screwed everything up."

"Well you didn't screw it all up on your own. I helped," I admitted. "Before you go hating yourself for everything, there's something you need to know. This could go one of two ways and honestly, I know which one I'd prefer but after everything you just admitted I know which ones most likely going to happen. I should have told you this from day one but I was scared to. I wish I didn't have to tell you this now but you need to know. I just don't want to break your heart."

"What is it Roza?" he asked impatiently. I knew I was rambling but I couldn't stop.

"I want you to know nothing that happened after you left was your fault. Even if there were days I blamed you and some days…well anyways it's not your fault," I rambled.

"Roza," he interrupted.

"Sorry. It's just. I've never told anyone all the details and I'm not really sure where to start. Your family knows of course cause they were there and Lissa and Mason. But before you get mad, they all wanted me to tell you and we've actually gotten in a few fights since we arrived in Georgia.." I delayed praying a sudden heart attack would strike right now so I wouldn't have to tell him. He reached over and squeezed my hand. I looked down and it was that moment of comfort from him that stopped all the ramblings. Here he was after pouring his heart out to me, comforting me when I didn't deserve it. I looked down and closed my eyes knowing the next three words I said were going to change everything. "I was pregnant."

"What?" he asked confused and shocked.

"When you left. I found out that morning. Then you broke up with me and I decided to tell you after arrived but then you were tired and I was scared and so it went. I always said the next time you called I would tell you but then you were always busy and I was still scared. Then when I decided to tell you, you quit answering and I realized I'd missed my chance."

"What happened?" he asked letting go of my hands. "Obviously you don't have a child now, did you give it up for adoption. Was it a boy or a girl?"

"Boy," I said softly before standing up I started to pace before stopping in front of the vanity. I leaned on the table as a tear started to roll down my cheek. "His name was Connor Alexander Belikov and he was the most beautiful, perfect baby boy in the world and I killed him."

"What does that mean?" he asked his voice harsh. "Did you abort?"

"No! Never!" I gasped whirling around. "You know me better than that."

"Well what am I supposed to think Roza? This is a lot to process and you're not exactly being forward about it," he said frustrated.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I've never talked about him and I'm messing it up," I said softly coming back over to the couch and sitting down. "It's all up for debate on what happened exactly. Remember the car crash I told you about?"

"Yea," he said hesitantly.

 _Flash back:_

 _"Your aunt Viktoria is going to be so upset Conner," I said rubbing my belly as I came to a stop at the red light. I looked over at the sonogram laying in the front seat and smiled. I looked up and saw the light change to green and I started driving forward. All of a sudden I heard a loud bang and glass shatter, I felt a shot of pain then everything went black._

 _"Beep…Beep…Beep," I heard from somewhere. My head was pounding and my whole left side felt extremely sore. I groaned and opened my eyes. It burned so I immediately shut them again._

 _"Here let me get the light," came a voice beside me. "There now try again."_

 _I opened my eyes and slowly looked around. I was in a hospital. That's when it hit me, I was driving and I think I was in a crash. I immediately reached for my abdomen and felt the bump was still there. That's a good sign right? I saw Dr. Olendsky "Is my baby ok?"_

 _"You were in a car accident. A driver t-boned you when he ran a redlight-"_

 _"What about my baby?" I asked worriedly._

 _"The baby is fine. I've done labs, done an ultrasound, the heart beat is in tact and there seems to be no visible damage. You on the other hand have a severely bruised left thigh and a broken wrist and elbow along with a minor concussion and a small gash on your forehead. Luckily the driver wasn't going way over the speedlimit, he just wasn't paying attention or else this could have been a lot worse."_

 _"But the baby is fine?" I asked. She nodded._

 _"We're going to keep you for a few more hours observation to make sure nothing happens. When you do go home I want you on full bed rest for a week just as a precaution. I've already set up an appointment for you to come see me next week and we'll check on the baby to make sure everything is fine."_

 _"Ugh fine, for the baby," I sighed, happy everything was ok._

 _Two days later:_

 _Suddenly I jolted awake. I grabbed my little belly, it wasn't a huge baby bump yet but it was definitely noticeable. I figured it would be a lot bigger at 5 months but it surprisingly wasn't. luckily the train of thought distracted me from my recent nightmare and I was able to calm down. That's when I noticed how thirsty I was._

 _Luckily my parents were out of town so I convinced Olena to let me go home as long as I had somebody come stay with me at all times. Normally I would have loved the opportunity to go stay with Lissa or the Belikovs but I had the suspicion that my mom was going to come home a little early and she'd be pissed if I wasn't here, plus it was a good time to break the news to her since I still hadn't told her yet. I looked over on the nightstand and saw a note from lissa._

 _'Got called in early, Sonya will be here shortly. DON'T GET UP!'_

 _I laughed at her but then realized I was alone. And hungry. And thirsty. And I had to pee._

 _"It shouldn't be a big deal if I go get myself a glass of water right? I mean I am allowed to take myself to the bathroom," I muttered to myself. My stomach growled and that made my decision. I grabbed my phone and made my way slowly into the hallway and towards the stairs. I was halfway down when my phone beeped and startled me. I jumped but luckily grabbed onto the railing and steadied myself._

 _"Oh baby that was a close one," I laughed rubbing my belly. That's when I felt the first tinges of pain. I tried to hurry down the rest of the stairs so I could go sit down but by the time I got to the bottom the pain was excruciating. I fell to the floor and grabbed my phone. It was on the text Sonya had just sent me so I quickly hit her name and pressed call. I looked down and saw blood staining my sweat pants and cried out. I didn't have the phone to my ear nor did I think to put it on speaker but as soon as I saw the call had connected I started talking praying I wasn't talking to the voicemail asi leaned against the bottom stair._

 _"HELP ME! NEED GO TO HOSPITAL!" I screamed not even able to form complete sentences. By now I was bawling and the outer edges of my vision was going dark. "PAIN LOTS OF PAIN! BLOOD LOTS BLOOD!"_

 _About then my whole vision started to go black and I started to panic. I started gasping cause it seemed like I was running out of air and I knew I was having a panic attack. I heard the door slam open and looked up, I couldn't see much but I knew it was him, he was here to save me and our baby._

 _"Rose," came a scared voice beside me. "Rose sweetie you need to wake up. You need to hold your baby."_

 _"What?" I asked groggily as I came to. I felt pain everywhere, especially my abdomen, that's when I remembered the collapse on the stairs. My eyes jumped open when I realized what the voice had said. "Hold my baby? But how? What?"_

 _"Rose sweetheart we had to do a C-Section. There was too much damage and the baby was dying. Right now we have him alive but he's not going to last very long. He went too long without oxygen and nutrients but he's alive for now. we woke you up early so you could spend his last few minutes with him," Dr. Olendsky explained. The bed was already in a mostly sitting position so when I saw she was holding my baby I reached for him. She handed him over and I looked down at him as tears fell down my face. They had him hooked up to an oxygen machine and a little pad was on his chest to monitor his heart beat. I held him in my left arm with the broken wrist and I moved the blanket away from his chest and face as I got a good look at him. his hands were maybe the size of my thumbnail, he was so tiny._

 _"How did this happen? I asked softly._

 _"You had a placental abruption where the placenta detached from the wall which caused a cut from you to the baby and forced an early labor. By the time the ambulance got there and got you here it had been too late and there was nothing we could do. Right now, all of his organs that were functioning are shutting down and there's nothing we can do to stop it. I'm so sorry Rose. That's why we woke you up early so you could spend his last few minutes with him. I'm going to step out and give you some time alone with him. would you like me to allow anyone else in?"_

 _"Is he in pain?"_

" _We gave him some pain meds before we woke you so no he shouldn't be able to feel any of it."_

" _Is Olena here?" I asked. She nodded. "Can you give me a few minutes and then send her in?"_

 _"Ok," she said sadly exiting the room. I hadn't taken my eyes off of Conner except to see her nod, I turned back to my baby boy as I started to cry._

 _"Hi Conner, I'm your mama. You're such a tough little guy. I'm glad you can't feel anything right now but I hope you can hear me. I want you to know that even though you weren't planned, I love you so much," I choked up and had to pause. "You little man are so loved by everyone. You have your grandma, and your aunts, and your cousins who all love you so much ok? And I know that your daddy would love you just as much if not more than anybody else in the whole world except for me of course. I know we're not going to get the life you deserve and I'm so sorry. You deserved everything good in this world and it's not fair you don't get it."_

 _Olena walked in and came over beside us. I could see that she'd been crying herself._

 _"Come meet your grandson, Connor Belikov," I sniffled._

 _"Hi Connor, I'm your grandma" she said sadly grabbing one of his tiny hands with her thumb and pointer finger._

 _"Am I mean for not wanting anyone else to come in?" I asked quietly._

 _"No honey they understand," she said softly. "You keep these moments to yourself."_

 _"Why did this happen to him? He's so tiny and perfect," I sobbed holding him a little tighter, not enough to hurt him though._

 _"Yes he is and I don't know why but you gotta be strong for him," she said reassuringly._

 _"I know," I said quietly. I reached my hand up and rubbed my finger softly over his forehead and down the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry you're not going to get to meet your daddy. That's my fault. But he would have loved you so much. you would have been the center of his world just like you are mine."_

 _About then his monitor started beeping and Dr. Olendsky came in. she silenced the machine as my sobs started back up. She didn't take him out of my arms but we waited until finally the pulse completely flatlined. She came over and took his heart rate monitor off and pulled his breathing tube out. I cried and held him closer as Olena pulled me into her. She held me as I held him and let out all the grief I was feeling._

 _My baby boy was gone._

 **Present tense:**

"He died in my arms. With your mother beside us. We're still not sure what caused the abruption but I believe if I never would have gotten up he'd still be here," I said quietly holding my head in my hands with me elbows resting on my knees. By now I was silently crying remembering the worst day of my life. "With me he never had a chance. I should have looked to make sure no one was coming and I should have never gotten out of bed. I killed our son."

He still didn't say anything and the silence was killing me but I knew I had to stop talking and let him just process. Hell, I had to process it still every time I thought about it which is pretty much every day and it's been 5 years.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked his voice filled with pain and anger. "I deserved to know!"

"You're right," I admitted softly. "I didn't tell you that day partially because I was in shock myself but also because I knew you wouldn't have left if I did so I told myself I was going to tell you when you got settled out there so that you would stay. Then you texted and said you were too tired to call and as more time went on the more I panicked. Plus, you had just broken up with me and I was heartbroken, which I know gives me no excuse but, it warped my thinking. Every time I talked to you, you sounded happy. You were excited about your first recording and excited about your first show together and so on and I didn't want to take that away. I couldn't be the reason you gave up your dreams."

"But it wasn't YOU, it was my son!" he exclaimed. I knew he would get mad and I expected it but, it hurt. "I had the right to make that choice myself."

"I tried. I called, I texted, then you quit responding. Then finally one day a woman, who I now know was Tasha, answered and I told her to please have you call me back and you never did so I assumed you didn't care. Next thing I knew he was gone. What was I supposed to do then? Call and say 'Oh hey Dimitri by the way when you left I was pregnant but he just died'? Why do you think I said I hated you for a while? I told you, I wasn't mad because you left. I wanted you to go. I was mad cause you weren't there!" I yelled. The anger coming back. I knew I was being irrational but 5 years of pent up anger, anger at him, and at myself was rushing to the surface. "I needed YOU then. No one else understood, they tried but they didn't just lose a child. I quit going to school for a while and just stayed locked in my room refusing to talk to anyone or let anyone in. Then finally I got desperate enough I called you and you didn't answer. Yes, I made a mistake in not telling you the day you left and I made mistakes after that but, I did try."

Dimitri didn't say anything and I immediately regretted my outburst. While I was angry he never answered, he didn't deserve that. Especially not right now.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. It was uncalled for," About then it was getting a little too much. I hadn't talked about Conner and his death with anyone ever. Of course, it's been mentioned over the years here and there but even when it happened I shut down and didn't really talk to anyone about it. I needed air. "I'll tell you what. I'm going to give you some space, let you process everything then when you're ready you can stop by my apartment and I'll answer any other questions you might have. You take however much time you need and find me when you're ready."

I ran out before he had a chance to respond.

A few hours later I was sitting on my couch still softly crying as I'd been doing since I got home with a bottle of jack beside me. I hadn't opened it yet but I had been tempted to several times. I heard a knock on the door and sighed. "so, he returns," I muttered standing up and walking to the door. As soon as I opened it he barreled in. I held back my smart ass comment.

He turned towards me and I was gutted. I saw a shattered Dimitri in front of me. He had tear tracks on his face and he honestly looked like he was going to break down again. I couldn't blame him. I had both told him he had and lost a son within five minutes. That's enough to break anyone. I walked over to him and hugged him hard. He held onto me as his body shook with sobs. We stood there for a few minutes crying together.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so damn sorry," I mumbled into his chest, each sorry feeling like a small weight lifting off my shoulders, yet still feeling like I was being crushed by it.

"Ssshhh Roza no talking. Not right now please. I just need to hold you and process," he said softly into my hair. I nodded pulling away. I grabbed his hand and pulled him over to my bed. I laid down pulling him beside me and cuddled beside him wrapping my arms tightly around him. Right now, the anger and the questions could wait. Right now, he needed to grieve. We both needed to grieve. Together. We laid there just holding each other until the tears stopped then we kept laying there lost in our thoughts. Suddenly I was exhausted. I closed my eyes absorbing his strength. Somehow despite knowing we were far from over with all of this and the anger and hatred and all of the other emotions were still to come, I felt content.

I woke later in the dark. Dimitri had fallen asleep also and was laying underneath me. I quietly got up and made my way to the kitchen. My head was throbbing from all of the crying and my face felt puffy. I grabbed a water bottle and searched the cabinet for aspirin. I had just taken the pills and was putting the lid on my water when I heard Dimitri walk up.

"Want some?" I asked shaking the bottle of aspirin my voice was hoarse and cracked. He nodded and I passed over the bottle. I started to grab him a water out of the fridge but he just grabbed mine. He quickly took the pills and took a swig of water before handing it back to me.

"Thank you," he said softly his voice as horse as mine from all of the crying. "What time is it?"

"Umm late," I said looking around I grabbed my phone and saw Vika had texted me earlier, a few times actually. When I never responded she just said she was crashing at Dimitri's with everyone else. She was supposed to come to my place but when I didn't respond and no one could get ahold of Dimitri figured something had happened. "It's two in the morning. Your sister said she's just staying over there."

"K," he said. He looked kind of confused. "I should probably go over there but I don't want to. I don't really know what to do right now."

"I know it's confusing and hard. And I haven't helped matters much. Maybe you should go home and think things through. Give yourself some time."

"So, it wasn't all a dream?" he asked almost hopefully.

"Sorry, but no it was all real."

"We had a son." He said softly.

"Yep."

"He died."

"Yep," I said softly. He stood there still trying to process. I grabbed his hand and pulled him to my 'room', "Come here I have something to that might help. Might not."

I had him sit on the end of the bed then I went to my closet I reached to the top shelf and grabbed the shoe box hidden at the back. I brought it over to Dimitri.

"Here. It's everything I have of him," I said. I started to walk off but he grabbed my wrist.

"Stay," he said softly. I sat beside him on the bed and watched as he gently opened the lid of the box. The first thing on top was a picture of me holding him. My face was hidden, it was mostly just a close up of him but you could tell he was being held.

"He was beautiful,' he said softly.

"He was already big for his age. He was measuring at 2 weeks older than he really was which is pretty big in baby terms. They expected he was going to be about 9 pounds full term," I said softly. He softly put the picture to the side and grabbed the next thing in the box. It was his birth certificate with his hand and feet printed on it. He softly brought his hand up to trace a foot print. He put that to the side and brought out the next thing, a beanie they had put on him for the few minutes I held him. Next there were all of the ultrasound pictures. I softly told him how far along each one was but he didn't say anything. Lastly there were a few pictures of me each month of the pregnancy, measuring my baby bump. A few I was laughing in and others I was just holding my belly looking down.

"You were beautiful Roza," he said softly.

"Not really," I said shrugging. "Just getting fat."

"You look perfect," he said looking over at me. I looked down embarrassed. I leaned against his shoulder and pointed to the last picture I took while pregnant.

"This is my favorite picture. He had been still all day refusing to move when anyone tried to feel him so nobody believed me that he had started moving. Finally, I just gave up. Then as soon as I started to pose for the picture he started moving like crazy. So, I started laughing. That's when Lissa snapped the picture," I said softly.

"I missed all of this," he said quietly. He slowly started putting everything back in the box looking at it all again as he put it up. he didn't put the lid back on the box but set it on the ground. "I'm sorr-"

"Stop," I said cutting him off. "Don't apologize. It was my fault. I did everything wrong. And I went about everything wrong. Right now, because of who you are as a person you're blaming yourself but I promise despite what I said earlier I don't blame you for any of it anymore. It was my fault. And once you process it all you're going to get angry and you're going to hate me. And it's ok. Because you should. It's all part of the process. When it all happened, I had a bunch of anger. I was angry at myself, angry at the world, angry at a God I'm not even sure I believe in. In all that anger I needed to place it on someone so when you didn't answer I placed it on you. It was completely unfair of me because you didn't know anything about what was going on and it was because I hadn't told you. I guess even though I thought I had gotten rid of all that anger at you, there was some lingering. But I don't blame you at all. You shouldn't either. Even if you were there, there was nothing you could have done."

"If I was there I would have been driving and I would have gotten hit or maybe I would have seen the car and you would have never even gotten in an accident. Even if you did I would have never left your side, so you would never have had to get up."

"Dimitri let's face it, we can play the what if game all day but it will do you no good I promise. I've played what if scenarios in my head since the day it happened. Even if you were there there's no guarantee we wouldn't have gotten in a wreck and we both know I'm too stubborn and would have gotten up at some point anyways. So just stop now."

"But even if it had all happened anyways I could have been there for you. I could have helped you," he said softly. "Why didn't you tell me before I left?"

"Because I wanted you to chase your dreams," I said softly grabbing his face making him look at me when he started to look down at the ground. I put my hand on the side of his face as I saw the tears start to glisten in his eyes again. Which of course made my eyes water but I held them at bay. "there's many things I regret. So many things. But waiting to tell you after you left isn't one of them. I just wish I had the guts to tell you that night like I had planned. If I had told you before you left you would have stayed. Then what would have happened if we still lost him? You would have gotten angry and bitter and I didn't want that. I wanted you to live the life you wanted. You had talked about being a singer for half of your life and I wasn't going to get in the way of that."

"But it wasn't you. It was our baby," he said pulling his head away. Ouch I thought to myself. "and I had a right to make that decision myself."

"You're right," I said softly knowing the anger was coming. I had been waiting on it.

"I deserved to know!" he said standing up and pacing the small room. "I had a son. I deserved to know that!"

"Let it out," I said softly. Yelling at him earlier had released the anger I had at him. Don't get me wrong I was still angry just not at him. I was mad at myself.

"Don't sit there and patronize me!" he said sharply.

"I'm not I just know you need it get it out," I told him honestly. As he paced I could see the anger getting to him more and more.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" he yelled.

"Because I was scared Dimitri. I was 17. Pregnant and alone. After you left, I thought you hated me especially once you quit talking to me."

"It wasn't about you! It was about me and our baby!" he yelled back at me.

"I know!" I half yelled back at him. Not because I was angry at him but because I was angry at myself. He was right. "You'll never know how much I hate myself for that. I'm sorry."

At that he stopped pacing he turned towards me yanked me up off the bed, "Quit saying you're sorry"

I couldn't even respond because he took claim of my mouth. We both poured all of our anger and grief into the kiss. He yanked me as close to him as I could possibly be our bodies only separated by clothing. Soon the kiss became pure need. I jumped up wrapping my legs around him. He caught me. He started trailing kisses down the side of my neck as I moaned.

"We shouldn't be doing this," he murmured against my throat.

"Please…don't stop," I said breathless. That was all the motivation he needed as he laid me down on the bed and laid over me. He looked down at me.

"For the record I never hated you. Even now I can't hate you," he said before kissing me again.

When it was over we were lying side by side in bed breathless. I still had my tank top on. When he had tried to take it off I distracted him with something else.

"Well that's a good way to burn off some anger," I chuckled softly. He looked over at me and smirked.

"Why don't we get some sleep and we can talk more in the morning," he said. I grabbed Dimitri's boxers and slipped them on then I grabbed the box and put it in the closet. As I reached up to the top shelf I heard a sharp inhale. I quickly reached down to find my tank top had risen up. I quickly yanked it down and headed towards the light switch.

"No. Come here." He commanded. I knew he wouldn't let it go. I hung my head down in defeat. This was a conversation I didn't want to have with him. I started towards the bed. Dimitri had sat up and was sitting on the side of the bed with the sheet covering him.

"Hold on," I said heading towards the dresser. I grabbed a pair of his sweat pants I had stolen from him years ago. I tossed them to him. He put them beside him and motioned for me to come towards him. I stood in front of him and looked down at him. He put his hands on my hips. I put my hand on his cheek.

"Please don't. Not tonight," I pleaded. He of course ignored me and lifted my tank top. When he did I heard him inhale. I hung my head down in shame.

"What happened?" he asked his voice breaking. I pointed to the scar from my C-section not even having to look to see where it was.

"This was from the C-section. The rest were self-inflicted," I said softly.

"Why?" he asked sounding pained. I shrugged. "Why Roza?"

"I told you I was in a bad place. I had a lot of anger. One day I was just looking at my C-section scar when I got mad all over again. This time at myself. So, I grabbed a pair of hair cutting scissors and just started cutting and it felt good in a sick way so I kept going. Ended up in the hospital due to all the blood loss."

"Was that it? The only time?" he asked knowing. I shook my head.

"The next time I took a bottle of anti-depressants and drank half a bottle of jack," I said softly. He leaned his head down against my stomach as he processed this. I ran my hands through his soft hair. I felt moisture against my stomach and knew he was crying again. A tear or two slipped down my face again as I gently pulled his hair to get him to look up at me.

"Stop. It wasn't your fault and you couldn't have stopped it if you were there," I told him honestly. He leaned his head forward again but this time instead of leaning his head against me he kissed my C-section scar. Then he followed by kissing all of the other scars. Another tear rolled down my cheek and I leaned my head down against his. We sat there for a minute or two just like that. I kissed his head before pulling out of his grip and walking over to switch the light off. He stood up and put the pants on.

"I'd much rather have my boxers on," he smarted off.

"Too bad," I said climbing in the bed and sticking my tongue out at him.

"Real mature," he chuckled climbing in the bed beside me. "It's ok they look better on you anyways."

"I know." I said cuddling into him and laying my head on his chest. A minute or two passed before I spoke up again. "You know this doesn't change anything right?"

"I know. We'll talk tomorrow. Let's just have tonight," he said hugging me tighter.

"By the way I hate your short hair," I looked up at him shocked. He smiled and shoved my head back down "Not like that, you look beautiful, you always do. I just miss your long hair."

"I kind of do too," I said softly.

"Why'd you cut it?"

"Just felt like it," I shrugged. He continued playing with my hair. I kissed his chest softly before getting comfortable. I knew tomorrow we'd go back to reality but I was soaking up this moment. Tonight, I needed to be held by him as much as he needed to hold me. I closed my eyes and drifted off. For once completely at peace.


	31. Chapter 29 The Showcase

**AN:Merry Christmas guys! I know this update is WAY behind! I'm so sorry for that. Finals kind of kicked my butt and I'm not sure how or why because they were pretty easy but still, they managed to distract me for a while. Then this last week I've been sick and doing last minute Christmas stuff. On the plus side, at least half of the rest of every chapter in the rest of this story is already written and this should be the last hard one. The others are pretty easy and all pretty much done. I wanted to have this story done by the end of this year but that'd mean posting like every other day this week and I don't know if that will happen. I might still try…who knows. There's only 2 chapters plus an epilogue left so it might be possible! I have gone over this chapter several times and I'm not too happy with it (I don't think y'all will be either but for different reasons haha) So let me know what you all think. I cut out some of the songs so it's not overloaded with songs throughout. There's a song list at the bottom with the original artists.**

(During the duets, girls are in _italics_ , the guys are in **bold** and when they sing together it's _**both**_ )

 **Rose & Sonya After Conner in hospital**

 _"You don't have to stay. Pretty sure the nurses are already on suicide watch to make sure I don't go crazy again," I muttered to Sonya. When they'd told me that Connor didn't make it I'd had a minor…ish…meltdown and had to be sedated. Sonya hadn't left the hospital since she'd arrived last night. In my panic, I'd managed to call her and she called an ambulance for me. Now I guess she feels responsible for me or something._

" _You know why I always hated you Rose?" Sonya asked from beside my hospital bed._

" _No," I said wondering why she was bringing that up now of all times._

" _I always knew Dimitri was going to do something great with his life. I knew we were going to be enough baggage for him, but I knew ultimately one day he'd leave and he'd achieve all of his dreams. I could see it from the time he was little. Then you came along and I saw how wrapped you had him from day one and it scared me. I knew he would be able to leave his family, but after seeing how attached he became to you so quickly, I didn't think he would ever leave you."_

" _Yea well he did," I said bitterly. Wiping the tears from my cheeks._

" _Yea, he did. But, you know who I admired most when he left?" she asked. I shook my head. "You. I saw the way you fought for him to leave. The way you convinced him everyone would be ok without him, that you would make sure of it. I even saw when he broke up with you at the airport, you barely reacted even though he broke your heart. You knew, already didn't you?"_

" _Yea, I found out that morning. I was going to tell him when he called me that night. I knew he would never leave if I told him before he left," I said softly._

" _I could have never done that. You are so strong and so brave to be willing to face this alone. Honestly, I always hated you but I have never been more wrong because you have been so good for this family, not just Dimitri. I know you are struggling right now and the world is pretty dark but I also know you are the strongest woman I've ever met so you're going to get through this."_

" _Sonya, I don't know if you're right this time." I sniffed. "I just want my baby back."_

" _I know sweetheart," she said coming over and wrapping me in a hug, my head laying somewhere between her chest and shoulder._

" _Has anyone tried calling him?" I asked softly. She didn't answer which was all the answer I needed. We sat like that for a few minutes before I spoke up again. "I'm getting a little tired. Is it ok if I just lay down and try to get some sleep?"_

" _Of course. Let me know if you need anything."_

" _Sure thing," I told her laying down and facing the wall. Once I heard the door close I reached under my pillow and grabbed my cell phone dialing the only number besides mine I had memorized. Quickly it rang and went to voicemail._

" _Hey you've reached Dimitri. I'm probably too busy to answer. Leave your name and number and I'll try to call you back when I can…"_

 _I hung up and dialed again._

 **Present:**

Somehow, I woke up before Dimitri feeling like I had just had the best sleep of my life. I looked down at him sadly knowing this was probably the last time I'd be in his arms like this. I bent my head down and softly kissed him before quietly climbing out of the bed. I threw on some sweats and a hoodie. I quickly wrote Dimitri a note and left it on the table beside the bed saying I had to go do some stuff before the showcase but I'd see him there. It was a complete lie of course I just had to get away. I went to Mia's knowing he didn't know where she lived and that she was at Eddie's. I let myself in with the spare key she'd given me for emergencies. Then I went and sat on her couch with my notepad. I had grabbed my guitar and notepad before I left but, that was it. My stomach grumbled reminding me I didn't eat dinner last night. I went to her cabinet and grabbed a granola bar and walked back to the couch not feeling up to anything else. I thought about last night and what all it's going to mean now. I know right now Dimitri isn't mad but I know he's still in shock and once it wears off, he will be. And as much as I want to say he has no right to be, he does. I knew about the pregnancy before he dropped all contact, I had time to tell him, I just chickened out. If all else failed I could have flown out there, I even considered it a few times. Flying out there for a weekend to tell him in person. I had the money, my parents really didn't care. Then we slept together. We both agreed that it doesn't change anything but really it does. As much as I love him, I can't be in a relationship with him and I don't even know if that's what he wants. At the same time, I can't be around him and not want to be more.

I stopped all of the thinking and decided to try writing since I was just spinning my mind in circles. Before I knew it, I had a new song and knew what I was going to do. I called Alberta and told her my thoughts as she helped me get everything set up.

"Are you sure about this Rose?" she asked before I hung up.

"Positive," I told her.

An hour later Mia came in.

"What's wrong?" she asked as soon as she saw me.

"I slept with Dimitri," I mumbled.

"You slept with him!" she exclaimed. "I don't get it then why are you so sad?"

We talked for another hour, I told her about Connor and explained the backstory and how Dimitri had told me why he dropped contact. I didn't tell her details, just that I'd been pregnant and lost him in a car accident. I didn't tell her what Dimitri told me just that he'd finally told me why. I didn't really want to talk about it anymore so I decided to go raid her closet for something to wear tonight. Pretty soon Vika showed up like I knew she would. Unfortunately, the day they'd gotten here I'd brought her here for a bit to meet Mia so she knew where she lived.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She said angrily. "Dimitri is going crazy looking for you."

"I told him I'd see him at the show," I said going through Mia's closet. "I just needed some time on my own to think everything through ok? I'll talk to Dimitri tonight at the show."

"I don't get it, he's not mad at you. Why aren't you with him?" she asked confused.

"Because Vika. I needed some space to clear my head. I've been through so many emotions in the last 24 hours that I felt like my head was going to explode. You know I haven't talked about what happened in detail, well ever. And it was just too much. I have some things I have to work through myself. So I came here to clear my head and get ready for this show tonight before I have a mental breakdown and lose my recording contract."

"I'm sorry," she said calming down. "I was being stupid of course you need some time."

"Thank you, and you weren't being stupid. Now want to help me find an outfit?" I asked knowing it would be a good distraction.

Before too long they had picked out an outfit for me and had done my hair and make-up. I grabbed a yogurt from the fridge dumping a little granola in it. Not really hungry but, knowing I should eat something. I had two hours before the show. I was supposed to be there already but I texted Adrian and asked him to make up some excuse and tell everyone I was going to be late. He texted back saying Sydney had covered me already. I texted her thank you before heading out. I had told Vika to go a few minutes ago so she had already left. Mia came up beside me and wrapped her arm around me, I leaned into her.

"You ok?" she asked.

"Nope, but I will be. That's the point of this."

An hour and a half before the show, we made our way to my apartment where I grabbed some things. I got to the venue about 30 minutes before the show started.

"Finally!" Adrian said as I walked in. I just laughed.

"Aren't ladies always supposed to show up late?" I asked jokingly.

"What Lady?" he teased back. I playfully pushed his arm. He gave me a hug. Then pulled back asking me if I was ok with his facial expression. I just shook my head, shrugged, and smiled.

"So how was sound check?" I asked.

"Good, they figured out how we're going on. First it's Sydney. Then me and Sydney, then me. Then you and me. Then you and Dimitri and then you. Finally Dimitri. Don't ask me why it's not you then the duets then Dimitri but apparently they decided to make it complicating," he joked.

"That's ok, it works out perfect for me," I said not telling him I was the one who set it up that way.

"You have something planned?" he asked suspiciously.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I shrugged playing innocent. "Oh, hey I have to go see Viktoria."

I eventually found her in the green room behind the stage.

"Hey," I said walking up.

"Still avoiding Dimitri?" she asked sounding upset.

"Vika I know you don't understand my actions right now but maybe one day you'll understand," I told her softly.

"Understand what?" Olena said walking up to me.

"Why I'm avoiding Dimitri," I told her honestly.

"Are you ok?" she asked knowingly. I shrugged. I figured Dimitri had told her.

"I'm sorry sweetheart," she said walking up to me and giving me a hug.

"Was he upset with you all? I told him it was my fault and you tried to make me tell him earlier," I asked worried that my actions had screwed up relationship with his family. I don't know why but it just now kind of hit me that it was a possibility.

"He's upset about a lot of things right now as he should be but, he'll come around," she smiled sadly.

"I'm sorry," I told her honestly.

"It's ok. We'll be ok. All of us," she said looking at me intently making her meaning clear. I heard Dimitri saying something to somebody from around the corner.

"Oh, I have to run to the restroom really quick," I hurriedly took off the opposite way.

"You can't avoid him all night," Vika called after me. I got halfway down the hall before a hand grabbed me. Internally I cussed before turning around and facing him.

"Hey," I said with false enthusiasm.

"Cut the crap Rose," he said giving me a look. "You've been avoiding me all day."

"I needed to clear my head for a while and I had some things I had to do. Sorry."

"You don't think I needed to clear my head? But you didn't see me sneaking out first thing in the morning without so much as a good bye."

"I'm sorry but I knew if I woke you I would have never left and we both needed to clear our heads for the concert tonight. Cause despite everything that's happened, we still have a show to do and this is the biggest show I've ever done and I needed a clear head to do it," I said half-lying but telling enough truth that hopefully he wouldn't catch me.

"We still need to talk. Can we meet up after the show?" he asked.

"Yea definitely," I told him. "How about we grab dinner then head back to my place? Vika can stay at yours with your family."

"Sure," He said looking up at me questioningly.

"Great. Now if you don't mind I really have to pee and I want to watch Adrian and Sydney," I said pointing towards the bathroom.

"Yea sure," he said still looking at me funny. I could still see the sadness in his eyes from everything he'd found out recently. I knew it would be a while before he could fake like he was ok, and even longer before he'd actually start to believe it. I turned and walked into the bathroom. I went to the bathroom even though I didn't really have to go. When I came out I saw Yeva at the counter. I jumped startled.

"Yeva you scared me!" I laughed. She didn't say anything. She just looked at me. I went to the sink and started to wash my hands. "You know what I'm planning don't you?"

"Yes."

"You don't approve do you?" I asked pulling back and grabbing a paper towel. To dry my hands. "I'm sorry but I have to."

"No you don't. You're running because you're scared. Ever since you lost Connor that's been your MO. You run from emotions, you run from the truth, you run from anything you think might hurt you again."

"What do you want me to do?" I half-yelled frustrated.

"I want you to go," she said bluntly.

"What? Then why are you lecturing me?" I asked confused.

"I'm not. I'm telling you the truth. I think you need to go. You need to go be alone for a while to figure out what you want. You'll be back."

"Not with Dimitri. I'm not getting back with him."

"Ok," she said patronizingly.

"I'm not, we would never work out. Even if we figured all of this out and I managed to trust him again, we still wouldn't work. I can't have children and he wants kids."

"Nice of you to make up his mind for him."

"Yeva, I love you. I really do. But sometimes you get on my last damn nerve!" I said aggravated.

"You think you kids don't get on mine? HA!" she laughed. I couldn't help but smile at that.

"Look can you just give him this letter after I leave?" I asked tired of this conversation. I pulled the letter I had written earlier out of my bag and handed it to her.

"I will. You go. Figure out your heart but remember, a Fish doesn't stay still. They're constantly swimming and always moving forward."

"Are you comparing Dimitri to a fish or me?" I asked.

"Why not both? You decide. When you do, you'll know where to go," with that she turned and left. A few minutes later I found myself on the side stage watching sydney's solo session.

"Before I was Sydney Sage the singer, I was Sydney Sage the college student doing what was expected of me. I listened to what everyone else said and ignored what I wanted. Then I met a man. He changed my life. He was everything I wasn't supposed to like. He was a player and cocky. I was the good girl studying chemistry with a ten year plan. But he burst onto the scene and changed my world. He taught me what it was like to go after what you want even if it scares you. I ended up breaking his heart because I was too scared. But eventually I listened to what he had been telling me all along. Now here I am. On a stage in front of all of you. So I wrote this song as a thank you to him with a little help from my friend Rose who you'll see later. So Adrian this one is for you. Thank you for believing in me even when I didn't believe in myself.

 **You fascinated me  
Cloaked in shadows and secrecy  
The beauty of a broken angel**

 **I ventured carefully  
Afraid of what you thought I'd be  
But pretty soon I was entangled**

 **You take me by the hand  
I question who I am**

 **Teach me how to fight  
I'll show you how to win  
You're my mortal flaw  
And I'm your fatal sin  
Let me feel the sting  
The pain  
The burn  
Under my skin**

 **Put me to the test  
I'll prove that I'm strong  
Won't let myself believe  
That what we feel is wrong  
I Finally see what  
You knew was inside me  
All along**

 **That behind this soft exterior  
Lies a warrior**

 **I kept on pushing through  
Standing resolute which you  
In equal measure  
Loved and hated**

 **You take me by the hand  
I'm seeing who I am**

 **Teach me how to fight  
I'll show you how to win  
You're my mortal flaw  
And I'm your fatal sin  
Let me feel the sting  
The pain  
The burn  
Under my skin**

 **Put me to the test  
I'll prove that I'm strong  
Won't let myself believe  
That what we feel is wrong  
I Finally see what  
You knew was inside me  
All along**

 **That behind this soft exterior  
Lies a warrior**

 **Lies a warrior...**

 **You take me by the hand  
I'm sure of who I am**

 **Teach me how to fight  
I'll show you how to win  
You're my mortal flaw  
And I'm your fatal sin  
Let me feel the sting  
The pain  
The burn  
Under my skin**

 **Put me to the test  
I'll prove that I'm strong  
Won't let myself believe  
That what we feel is wrong  
I Finally see what  
You knew was inside me  
All along**

 **That behind this soft exterior  
Lies a warrior**

 **The pictures come to life  
Wake in the dead of night  
Open my eyes  
I must be dreaming**

 **Clutch my pillow tight  
Brace myself for the fight  
I've heard that seeing  
Is believing**.

As soon as the song was over Adrian rushed on stage, pulled Sydney up from the piano bench, then actually dipped her as he kissed her. Which sent the crowd into a frenzy of cheers and catcalls. Then just like that he stood back up and sat her back down on the piano bench. He then leaned into her mic.

"I'm sorry I had to come interrupt. Who could blame me after that?" then he turned right around and walked off leaving a flabbergasted Sydney Sage.

"Well ok then," she laughed into the mic. The audience laughed with her. you could hear someone in the audience say 'you go girl' and I could see Sydney blush. "Um thank you, I think?"

She quickly got her bearings back and introduced her last solo song and started singing.

"It's nice what you did for them," Dimitri said coming up beside me.

"Eh all I did was get them in the same room together for a few minutes. They did the rest."

"Yea but that push was exactly what they needed and if it hadn't of worked you would have kept trying until it did. You sure like to hook people up," he said casually.

"It's not like I'm a matchmaker I got one couple together. I didn't even really do anything."

"You've gotten three that I know of and you're working on a fourth," I looked at him confused. "Sydney and Adrian. Mia and Eddie. Viktoria and Nikolai, which I'm still not happy about. And Christian and Lissa."

"Keeping track there?" I asked. "I didn't really do anything to get them together though. With Sydney and Adrian, I just conned them into being in the same room together. Viktoria and Nikola, I just told her to tell him how she felt and she did. Mia and Eddie, I didn't really do anything except invite her to the studio a lot until he asked her out. And I'm not trying to get Christian and Lissa together, they already are. I didn't actually want them to get together but if he makes her happy then I'm happy for her."

"Oh yea you didn't do anything to help any of them. Sorry I said anything," he smarted off.

"What do you care?"

"Nothing I just think you're being a little hypocritical. You say you don't believe in love but yet you're trying to get all of your friends married off."

"I'm not trying to get anybody married off. Oh, hey look Adrian's coming on stage for their duets." I said trying to distract him as Adrian came onstage. He again kissed her, much to the crowd's pleasure. Though there were a few groans from some ladies in the crowd.

"Give it up for the lovely Sydney Sage everyone. Isn't she amazing?" he asked when a guy hollered out 'she's hot' Adrian laughed as Sydney turned red and chuckled. "I quite agree with that. Though I would say she's beautiful and hot."

"Gee thanks," she laughed rolling her eyes. "Are we going to sing or are you going to sit there and flirt all night?"

"Well we're going to sing of course, I'll flirt later," he said winking at her. The audience laughed as she rolled her eyes. This time they had someone play the piano while they both stayed in the front of stage. He looked to the crowd and introduced the next song. "So as Sydney mentioned earlier she dumped me and left me broken hearted for a few years. I had pretty much given up hope when a wonderful friend entered my life. I told her of my broken heart and she told me hers. Instead of listening to me when I told her it was over, she went behind both our backs and tricked us into recording this next song together, which led to us eventually getting back together."

"You'll meet her later," Sydney came in. "Her names rose. You may know her?" she joked with the crowd as they cheered louder. "Well anyways she'll be out later but we wanted to dedicate this song to her. Thank you Rose for ignoring both of us. Going behind our backs. Manipulating and conniving us. And setting us up. We wouldn't be here without you so thank you and this ones to you."

"That was sweet," Mia said from beside me. "And pretty hilarious."

"I did not expect that," I laughed.

"Oh but you didn't do anything remember?" Dimitri interrupted.

"Shut up," I said with a smile. Mia gave me a look but I just shook my head.

 **I fell in love with a beautiful girl  
And she still takes my breath away  
I fell in love in the morning sun  
While the hours slipped away  
Sometimes when I hear your name  
A smile creeps on my face  
And for reasons I can't explain  
It's never out of place  
**  
 _ **'Cause I love you  
**_ **More than you think I do  
** _ **And I love you  
**_ **Now you don't want me to  
** _ **'Cause I love you  
**_ **More than you think I do  
** _ **And I love you  
**_ **Now you don't want me to  
**  
 _You ran your finger down my back  
And you spelled out your name  
While we lay there on the soft warm ground  
For a week and thirteen days  
_ _ **  
And I know that it sounds so wrong  
And you've heard all this before  
I didn't come back and I wasn't there  
I won't trouble you no more  
**_  
 _ **'Cause I love you  
More than you think I do  
And I love you  
Now you don't want me to  
'Cause I love you  
More than you think I do  
And I love you  
Now you don't want me to**_

 _ **Every time I try to fight it  
Everything just turns out wrong  
Maybe if I got my timing right  
I wouldn't end up alone  
**_ _  
I fell in love with a beautiful boy  
And you still take my breath away  
_  
 **When you left it was the end of my world  
'Cause I never got to say  
** _ **  
That I love you  
More than you think I do  
And I love you  
Now you don't want me to  
'Cause I love you ('Cause I love you)  
More than you think I do  
And I love you (I love you)  
Now you don't want me to  
**_  
 _ **'Cause I love you  
Woah oh, woah oh, woah oh  
And I love you  
Woah oh, woah oh, woah oh  
'Cause I love you  
Woah oh, woah oh, woah oh  
And I love you  
Now you don't want me to**_

"Did you write that for them?" Mia asked.

"I wrote most of it based on a few lines Adrian had already written," I told her shrugging.

"That was really good."

"Well what do you expect it was from me," I joked. We stood there and listened to their next few songs. then Sydney left the stage and Adrian did his solo showcase.

"So I know I'm known for my pop hits and as much as I love pop, my hearts never fully been in it so I'm going to try something a little different tonight if that's ok. Let me know what you think."

 **Life was great,  
Wouldn't change a thing,  
I had it all but with you I had more,  
But out of nowhere out of the blue,  
Our love turned into a war  
Now you're gone, you moved on  
And I hate the way I'm feeling.**

 **Now the only way I know that I can get you off my mind,  
To keep a bottle so close, try to leave it all behind.  
And I couldn't get enough  
Girl, I'm drowning drunk in love  
I used to think you'd never say it's over, I used to love you sober  
I used to love you sober**

 **I'm on the floor cursing at the door  
Broken hearted with a pounding head  
And I know I got to let you go  
So the liquor helps me forget,  
Your name, Your face  
This pain I can't erase**

 **Now the only way I know that I can get you off my mind,  
To keep a bottle so close, try to leave it all behind.  
And I couldn't get enough  
Girl, I'm drowning drunk in love  
I used to think you'd never say it's over, I used to love you sober  
I used to love you sober**

 **Now you're gone, You moved on  
And I hate the way I'm feeling  
Now the only way I know that I can get you off my mind,  
To keep a bottle so close, try to leave it all behind.  
And I couldn't get enough  
Girl, I'm drowning drunk in love  
I used to think you'd never say it's over, I used to love you sober  
I used to love you sober**

The audience cheered excitedly so I took that as they liked it. He smiled and thanked the crowd before announcing his next song. He sang along and the crowd seemed to absorb it all in. I took it as a really good sign, happy that he would be able to make the change he's been wanting to. He finished that song and slightly glanced to the wings where I was hidden from the crowd.

"So I have this friend. From the moment I've met her she's carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. If someone has a problem she makes it her problem until it's fixed. If someone needs help she's the first one to volunteer. And if someone is being stupid she fixes it," he laughed. "which I've needed a lot. But the thing is as amazing as she is, she's had a hard time the last few years. She hasn't had the best of times but if you didn't know any better you would think she lived a pretty good life. Well she's had a bad few days here lately so I wrote her a song. This song is to let her know that even though times are tough right now, she always has her friends and family to lean on. and I'll always be here for you. Little Red, this one is for you."

 **She would not show that she was afraid,  
But being and feeling alone was too much to face,  
Though everyone said that she was so strong,  
What they didn't know is that she could barely carry on,**

 **But she knew that she would be okay,  
So she didn't let it get in her way,**

 **Sometimes it all gets a little too much,  
But you gotta realize that soon the fog will clear up,  
And you don't have to be afraid, because we're all the same,  
And we know that sometimes it all gets a little too much,**

 **She would always tell herself she could do this  
She would use no help it would be just fine  
But when it got hard she would lose her focus  
So take my hand and we'll be alright**

 **And she knew that she would be okay,  
So she didn't let it get in her way,**

 **Sometimes it all gets a little too much,  
But you gotta realize that soon the fog will clear up,  
And you don't have to be afraid, because we're all the same,  
And we know that sometimes it all gets a little too much, yeah.**

 **A little too much, I said a little too much, oh.**

 **Sometimes it all gets a little too much,  
But you gotta realize that soon the fog will clear up,  
And you don't have to be afraid, because we're all the same,  
And we know that sometimes it all gets a little too much yeah!**

 **Sometimes it all gets a little too much,  
But you gotta realize that soon the fog will clear up,  
And you don't have to be afraid, because we're all the same,  
And we know that sometimes it all gets a little too much.**

By the end of the song I had tears in my eyes.

"That was awesome," Mia said hugging me.

"Yea now I have to go on stage and beat that," I joked.

"Well ladies and gentleman it's time for the real reason we're here. This little lady blew into town and in one night changed a lot of things. She's the reason for our new charity duet cd, she's helped me change my sound and write a bunch of songs, and she got me and my wonderful girlfriend back together. So, without further ado, the beautiful and mighty manipulative, Rose Hathaway!" As I walked onto the stage the crowd cheered.

"Well how am I supposed to beat that introduction, or even live up to it," I joked into my mic. The audience laughed.

"Oh now Rosie. You know you're awesome and you love it," he laughed winking and coming to put an arm around me. I laughed and pulled away.

"Call me Rosie again and you'll see exactly what I don't love!" I threatened the audience 'Oohed'. "now that all that is covered, can we sing some songs?"

"Yes. Play on maestro!" he joked pointing to the band. We did the same song we did at the bar the first night, 'Love Somebody'. The crowd seemed to enjoy it. We did one more we'd written together before finishing with our recently released duet.

"Isn't he great?" I asked the crowd as we finished our song.

"Unfortunately, it's time for me to say Goodbye. I know I'm sad about it too but, thank you everyone and I'm glad you're enjoying this showcase!" he said before hugging me and walking off the stage.

"Instead of doing my solo songs right now, I'm going to wait a little bit and bring out another friend of mine. I think you might know him? He's been my producer for the last few weeks and he's been my friend since I was in elementary school. Now I could say a million things about him but let's be honest do I really have to?" I asked the crowd knowingly they cheered even louder knowing Dimitri was coming out. "Well without further ado, here he is ladies and gents Dimitri Belikov!"

Dimitri walked out as the crowd cheered. He waved to the crowd and came over by me at the center stage. He looked better than he had earlier. He was faking it really well but I could see all the emotions swirling in his eyes when he looked at me. I turned back to the crowd.

"Thank you Rose. Hasn't she been fantastic this evening?" Dimitri asked the crowd. A man, probably the same one as earlier, yelled 'she's hot' so I jokingly looked in the crowd.

"You too buddy," I laughed. Dimitri rolled his eyes and smiled. It's kind of funny how opposite we were compared to Adrian and Sydney. In their pairing he was the outgoing talkative one where she was shy and timid despite being famous. With Dimitri and I, it was opposite I would gladly flirt back with a stranger where he wouldn't. I went over to the piano. "So how about a song or two?"

I immediately regretted the fact that we were doing this song after everything that happened last night. It all feels a lot more emotional and harder to sing. I had written this song a few weeks ago and Adrian had seen it and wanted it on the album but somehow it ended up being Dimitri and I singing it. It had been real and emotional before but after everything that happened and that's going to happen, it broke my heart to sing it now. It's too late to turn back now.

 _Little do you know  
How I'm breaking while you fall asleep  
Little do you know  
I'm still haunted by the memories  
Little do you know  
I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece_

At first I looked up at Dimitri but quickly realized that was a mistake so I looked back down at the keys as I played. I wondered if he knew that this song almost had an entirely new meaning to me now. I glanced back up and saw him staring intently at me. He knew. He could tell. _  
_  
_Little do you know  
I need a little more time  
_  
 **I'll wait, I'll wait  
I love you like you've never felt the pain,  
I'll wait  
I promise you don't have to be afraid,  
I'll wait  
The love is here and here to stay  
So lay your head on me**

 **Little do you know  
I know you're hurting while I'm sound asleep  
Little do you know  
All my mistakes are slowly drowning me  
Little do you know  
I'm trying to make it better piece by piece**

 **Little do you know  
I, I love you 'til the sun dies**

He sang it like he was trying to convince me. Which I guess he was. I had a feeling he knew what was coming. He just didn't understand why. The next part as both sang we stared at each other lost in the moment. We were both trying to get through to the other without having any luck. **  
**  
_**Oh wait, just wait  
I love you like I've never felt the pain,  
Just wait  
I love you like I've never been afraid,  
Just wait  
Our love is here and here to stay  
So lay your head on me**_

Eventually I broke and looked back at the keys I was playing. He turned and faced the crowd. _****_

_**I'll wait (I'll wait), I'll wait (I'll wait)  
I love you like you've never felt the pain,  
I'll wait (I'll wait)  
I promise you don't have to be afraid,  
I'll wait  
The love is here and here to stay  
So lay your head on me  
Lay your head on me  
So lay your head on me**_

I drifted off and kept playing as he sang the last line. He turned back towards me as he sang. _**  
**_  
**'Cause little do you know  
I, I love you 'til the sun dies**

The crowd brought me back to reality. And I smiled over at them.

"Isn't he good?" I asked them laughing trying to pretend that I wasn't about to start crying again. I heard a guy in the crowd say 'You're better!' Dimitri and I both laughed at that one.

"She is isn't she?" he asked the crowd. I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"Well I mean I am amazing," I joked as I stood up from the piano. The crowd laughed with me. "I guess I'll admit you are too."

"Gee, thanks," he smirked. I smiled so the crowd would know I was just teasing. I turned towards them.

"No but seriously, this guy is pretty awesome. It's been so crazy over the past few weeks trying to make this album and I'm glad I've had him helping me out," I said honestly. I was trying to be careful with my wording as I've already learned just the right word and people will start talking. I glanced over at him and smiled softly then turned back to the crowd.

"Well thank you," he said but I could tell he was a little embarrassed.

"Anytime, now how about another song?" I asked as the music started to play. This one we'd both written. I had written a good chunk and Dimitri took over with the rest. It was pretty much about us but yet not very personal. It was definitely one of the easier songs to sing with him. I turned to Dimitri as he started singing.

 **I walk in on Friday nights  
Same old bar, same burned out lights  
Same people and all the same faces  
So why in the hell does it feel like a different place?**

I watched him sing his verse, when it was my turn I faced the crowd and sang.

 _Meet my friends for a girls' night out  
Seems there ain't much to talk about  
Same drinks that we're all raising  
But all of the toasts just don't feel the same_

Now we turned and faced each other as we sang the chorus together. We were about 3 or 4 feet apart as we sang the chorus to each other. This chorus pretty much explained things completely after he left. Every where I went I was always asked questions about Dimitri. How he was, if he liked California, how the new band was going. It was months after he'd left that most people stopped asking about him. _  
_  
_**We used to be the life of the party  
We used to be the ones that they wished they were  
But now it's like they don't know how to act  
Maybe they're like me and they want us back  
It's like there's always an empty space  
Those memories that nobody can erase  
Of how bright we burned  
Well now it hurts, but it's true  
When they think of me, they think of you  
**_

We sang the rest of the song taking turns facing each other and walking the stage facing the crowd. When it was over, the crowd cheered and I smiled softly.

"I'm glad you liked that song, I really like it myself," I said to them.

"Well, unfortunately this is our last duet song of the night," Dimitri told them.

"Before you get too sad, we still both have a few solo songs to perform for you after we finish this one," I smiled to the crowd. Internally I was bracing myself because Dimitri didn't know it yet but I was going to change the lyrics to the end of this song and he was definitely going to know my plans by it. This one, Dimitri played the piano along with the band and I walked the stage. Dimitri went and started playing as I looked over at the crowd. I wanted to avoid looking at Dimitri as much as possible.

 _Love that once hung on the wall  
Used to mean something, but now it means nothing  
The echoes are gone in the hall  
But I still remember, the pain of December_

 _Oh, there isn't one thing left you could say  
I'm sorry it's too late  
_  
 _ **I'm breaking free from these memories  
Gotta let it go, just let it go  
I've said goodbye  
Set it all on fire  
Gotta let it go, just let it go**_

 __I made my way in front of the piano as Dimitri sang. I looked over at him but he was looking down at the keys. I watched as he played in awe remembering years ago when he'd started teaching me to play. It brought a smile to my face remembering all of those lessons.

 _ ****_  
 **Oh, there isn't one thing left you could say  
** _ **I'm sorry it's too late**_

When the chorus kicked in he looked up at me. He saw my smile and though he didn't know why I was smiling, it made him smile slightly. I turned and faced back towards the crowd walking over towards the edge. _**  
**_  
_**I'm breaking free from these memories  
Gotta let it go, just let it go  
I've said goodbye  
Set it all on fire  
Gotta let it go, just let it go**_

After the chorus ended, came the verse we sang together so I walked more towards centerstage and faced him. he looked up at me as we sang the lines back and forth to each other. _**  
**_  
_I let it go_ **and now I know** _  
A brand new life_ **is down this road**  
 _And when it's right_ , **you always know**  
 _So this time_ **I won't let go**

 _There's only one thing left here to say  
Love's never too late  
_  
 _ **I've broken free from those memories  
I've let it go, I've let it go  
And two goodbyes led to this new life  
Don't let me go, don't let me go  
**_

_Ooooohhhhh_

 _Ooooohhhhh_

 _Ooooohhhhh_

 _Don't let me go, don't let me go, just let me go, just let me go_

Dimitri had caught the fact that I'd changed up the last two lines and was looking up at me in confusion. I tried to convey as much as I could but I knew he'd probably never understand my actions tonight. I sang the last four lines to him hoping he'd understand but how could he? I barely understand my actions.

 _Gotta let you go, just let me go_

 _Gotta let you go, just let me go_

 _Gotta let you go, just let me go_

 _Gotta let you go, just let me go_

As I wrapped up the song, I saw it in his eyes he knew my plans. Unfortunately, I couldn't get a read on his emotions but I could guess what they were. Before he could say anything, I turned towards the crowd.

"I told you guys, he's amazing. And so are all of you!" I smiled at them.

"She's right, you really have been an awesome crowd. Now, it's my turn to say bye for a little while but, I'm leaving you in extremely capable hands," he smiled towards me but I saw the hurt in his eyes. I knew I was hurting him but I also wanted him to understand. He turned and made his way off stage. He walked off to where I couldn't see him anymore but I hoped he'd still be able to hear my set. What he didn't know is, I had changed the entire thing. He was probably going to get really mad about that seeing as he's my producer and I didn't tell him but, it's too late now.

"Well it looks like it's just you and me," I joked with the crowd. "I want to thank you all for all of the support the last couple of weeks. I never imagined when I moved out here in search of a singing career that it would end up like this but it's been incredible. I know the rumors have been crazy but there's also been so many of you offering support and encouragement and I really appreciate it."

"This first song I'm going to sing, Adrian helped me write. That means it has to be good right?" I joked with the crowd. They cheered. "Yea, that's what I thought too. After we finish the duet CD, I'll start working on my own solo album and we're hoping this will be the first single off of it. So, I hope you like it but, if you hate it, it's Adrian's' fault!"

I went over to the mic stand. The first song was the song Adrian and I recorded in Georgia that Dimitri had gotten pissed at me for. This was the one song I wasn't changing in the lineup. the other three I was performing were slower so I wanted to keep at least one semi upbeat one, plus I needed to promote it and get interest in it to see if it would be a good first single. Dimitri, Adrian, and I had worked on it in the studio and gotten it ready to perform. It still wasn't perfect but it was almost there. When the song was finished the crowd cheered.

"I take it you liked it then?" I asked. They cheered louder. "Good, I guess I'll keep Adrian around then. Now I'm going to go a little rogue. I had a set list already prepared and planned but, this morning I decided to change it. I'm sure I'm my producer's favorite person right now," I joked. "That being said, this is a never heard before song, the band only knows the music. So, you get the exclusive over my producer, studio, and everyone that should have heard it first. Same with the two songs after this one."

The crowd cheered excitedly at that. I smiled. I felt Dimitri Watching me so I glanced back over at the wing and saw him standing there with his arms crossed. Yea, he was pissed. I knew he would be. In my defense I cleared it with Alberta. The band started up behind me and I looked back out at the crowd.

 **Everything seems okay right now  
Bottom of the sky hasn't fallen out  
But I know when it comes, It's gonna get ugly, get ugly  
You don't know you as well as I do  
So baby don't wait a week or two  
Go and pull the Band-Aid off  
We'll both be better off if you just  
**

**Come on and hate me  
Tell me you regret you ever met me  
Make sure that it hurts right as I'm leaving  
Make me believe that  
You never even really ever loved me  
Come on, baby, hate me  
**

Truthfully, I wrote this song a week or so ago at the prospect of telling Dimitri. I never realized how perfect it would be though. So far, he's had a little anger but I know there's more to come. While I know I should be just as angry at him, I'm not. It's like once he told me and I yelled at him, most of my anger deflated. As bad as it sounds a part of me understands why he stayed away now. Don't get me wrong, the anger hasn't completely left and it will come back eventually but right now I don't want to be angry at him. How can I be? I just told him he had and lost a son. I know he dropped contact but I knew well before he did that I was pregnant and he has every right to be pissed I didn't tell him before. We were both young and stupid and we both made so many mistakes. Right now, I want him to work through this because it's hard, it's been five years and I'm still stuck in it, I don't want that for him. I want him to get angry, it's one of the steps to healing. Not only that, I'm leaving and he knows it. I just dropped this bomb on his shoulders and now I'm bailing.

 **Don't need those coffee cups from Georgia**

 **Don't need that sweater from your drawer  
Don't need you to chase me down the stairs and out the door, no  
Don't need to hear, "I'm sorry"  
Don't need your version of the truth  
There is only one thing left that I need from you  
**

 **So come on, come on and hate me  
Tell me you regret you ever met me  
Make sure it hurts right as I'm leaving  
Make me believe that  
You never even really ever loved me  
Come on, baby, hate me  
Come on, baby, hate me  
**

**I know you're not much for lying*  
So why go start right now, why go start right now  
I'm just trying to make it easy on you, on me  
**

As I sang the last chorus, I looked over in the wing and sang it to Dimitri. His face looked impassive from here but I knew better. At this point I didn't even know If I wanted him to be mad at me for him or for me. Even now knowing that I'm leaving. I know I need to but I'm also mad at myself for it. I feel like I'm just running away from another problem but at the same time I can't seem to stop myself.

 **Come on and hate me  
Tell me you regret you ever met me  
Make sure that it hurts right as I'm leaving  
Make me believe that  
You never even really ever loved me  
Come on, baby, hate me  
Come on, baby, hate me  
Hate me, hate me  
**

I turned back towards the crowd and sang the ending verse.

 **Don't say you're say sorry, baby, just say you hate me  
(Come on, baby, hate me)  
Don't you're gonna miss me, just say you hate me  
Don't say you're say sorry, baby, just say you hate me  
Don't you're gonna miss me, just say you hate me**

The crowd cheered again. This time, I didn't do any introduction or talking before starting the next song. Unfortunately, because I hadn't ever worked on this one, I had to do a pretty stripped down version of it. I went and grabbed my guitar then pulled up a stool in front of the mic before starting the song. ****

**You were perfect  
I was unpredictable  
It was more than worth it  
But not too sensible**

This is the song I wrote this morning after I decided I was going to leave tonight after the showcase. I wanted to start this song off about our relationship in the beginning till now. in the beginning, he was the perfect one and I was the wild child. I finally decided that even through all of the pain and loss and everything else. It was worth it. Dimitri taught me what love was and for that I'll forever be grateful. ****

 **Young and foolish  
that seemed to be the way  
And I was stupid  
To think that I could stay  
Oh oh  
To think that I could stay**

 **Goodbye my friend  
Hello heartache  
It's not the end  
It's not the same  
Wish it didn't have to be this way but  
You will always mean the world to me, love  
Goodbye my friend  
Hello heartache**

 **Hello heartache**

 **I was champagne  
You were Jameson  
Every bad thing  
We did was so much fun**

 **I've seen your best side  
You got to see my worst  
It's not the first time  
But this one really hurts  
Oh, oh, yeah, this one's gonna… it hurts**

 **Goodbye my friend  
Hello heartache  
It's not the end  
It's not the same  
Wish it didn't have to be this way but  
You will always mean the world to me, love  
Goodbye my friend  
Hello heartache**

 **La la la la la la la  
La la la la la la la  
La la la la la la la  
La la la la la la la**

 **Do you know? Do you get it?  
It's just goodbye, it's not the end  
Do you know? Do you get?  
It's just goodbye, it's not the end**

 **Goodbye my friend  
Hello heartache  
It's not the end  
It's not the same  
Wish it didn't have to be this way but  
You will always mean the world to me, love  
Goodbye my friend  
Hello heartache**

 **La la la la la la la  
Hello heartache  
La la la la la la la**

 **Wish it didn't have to be this way but  
You will always mean the world to me, love  
Goodbye my friend  
Hello heartache**

 **La la la la la la la**

As I sang the song I fought to look back at Dimitri. I could feel him behind me watching me but I didn't want to face him. I knew it was pointless because I was about to introduce him out here anyways but, what can I say? I've become a coward. Because I just felt like playing one upbeat song before I left, I did 'How Come You're not here?' which got a pretty big cheer from the crowd. I tried to get lost in the song dancing with it and making faces to the crowd. They seemed to enjoy it.

"Well thank you everyone for being so amazing tonight," I addressed the audience. "Unfortunately, it's my turn to say goodbye for the night but I know you'll be ok because up next is a very rare treat. Ladies and gentleman for the first time in almost three years, besides the duets earlier, my friend and favorite producer, Dimitri!"

Dimitri came out as I ran off the other way, like I said, coward.

"Thanks for that intro," he smiled not looking towards me. I could tell he was still pissed and I couldn't blame him. before he could start playing, I grabbed Mia and took off hoping not to run into anyone. I grabbed my guitar from the dressing room not needing anything else. Mia had surprisingly stayed quiet as a few tears escaped my eyes as we left the building somehow managing not to run into anyone.

"You sure you want to do this?" Mia asked as she started the car.

"No, but I have to," I told her honestly. I know she didn't understand why I was leaving. Hell, I barely did but she just nodded and pulled out of the parking space heading towards the airport.

Somehow, I don't know how, I made it all the way until the wheels of the plane left the ground before I started sobbing.

DPOV:

When I finished my set I hurriedly made my way to Roza's dressing room praying she'd still be there but knowing she wouldn't be. As soon as I got to the door I heard Babushka behind me.

"She's not there, she's gone," she said. I turned and faced her. She had an envelope in her hand.

"Why? Why'd she leave like that?" I asked.

"Because she needs to learn to live again," she said not making any sense to me.

"She couldn't do that here?" I asked trying not to get angry but slowly losing.

"She didn't think so. Give her time. Here, she asked me to give you this," she said handing me the envelope. I took it as she walked away. I opened the door to Roza's dressing room and went over to her couch to read it.

 _Comrade,_

 _This is probably the hardest thing I've ever written. I'm sorry. I'm taking the cowards way out and leaving town. Alberta said she had a producer I can work with in New York so I'm heading out there for a while. I know it's really shitty of me after everything I told you last night. I just can't stay. I can't go back down that path because I don't think I'll survive it a second time. After you left, I found my footing surprisingly. I missed you like hell but I looked forward to the future. Then it all came crashing down and I stopped. I started bottling everything and avoiding it. I never truly grieved or at least finished grieving. Now it's time I did. I need to work on myself. I need to figure out who I am and who I want to be besides this emotionless constantly grieving girl. I'm still doing the duet album, I'll just record my parts there and send them back. I trust you with any changes you want to make…I'm leaving the box, you need it more than I do right now. I'll want it back eventually. Please don't let anything happen to it. It's all I have left of him. Mia has the key to my apartment so you can get it whenever you want. I don't know if or when I'll be back. I hope you can find peace and be happy again._

 _Love,_

 _Rose_

 **Songs used:**

 **Warrior-Beth Crowley**

 **I love you- Alex & Sierra**

 **Used To Love You Sober- Kane Brown**

 **A Little Too Much- Shawn Mendes**

 **Little Do You Know- Alex & Sierra**

 **Think of You- Chris Young & Cassadee Pope**

 **Let Me Go- Avril Lavigne & Chad Kroeger**

 **Hate Me-Jillian Jaqueline**

 **Hello Heartache- Avril Lavigne**

 ***The lyrics to a few of these songs were changed to fit this story better***


	32. Chapter 30 Free

**An: Ok so the last chapter got a lot of mixed reviews. I really don't mind if you didn't like it because not everybody will. A lot of people didn't see the purpose of why it ended that way BUT there was a reason and it does make sense if you'll stick through. This chapter and next chapter explain it all a lot better on why. I do have to ask, if you have a really strong opinion, please sign in and tell me so I can maybe explain things a little better so you understand more of the why things happen the way they do. I don't want to disable all guest comments because I do get some really nice ones on there or comments that don't really need a response and I've had them open this whole story. That being said, if I keep getting guest comments like last chapter I will. I don't mind negative comments because everyone isn't going to like everything. I know I will get a lot after this chapter. I just would prefer if you log in so I can explain or even possibly defend myself.**

 **I fell the need to add, I'm not adding in things to create material for the sequel. Everything that's happened in this story has been supposed to be part of the story since day one. I just wanted to write a sequel because I don't feel done with this story completely and think there is so much more to be done with them.**

 **All that being said, thank you to everyone who is sticking with me, this has been a crazy wonderful ride and I'm actually really sad it's coming to an end. Most likely, one more chapter and then an epilogue and that's it! Ah! Can you believe it? We're almost there!**

 **Ps. Dreamwalkersobsession, your message back feature is disabled and I just wanted to say, I don't know if you planned it that way or not but, the first line of you're review definitely reminded me of Molly Weasley's Howler she sent to Ron in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. It definitely made my day and I laughed really hard about it. I don't know if it was your intention or not but I got a laugh out of it so thanks. :)**

 _Rose 18_ _th_ _birthday-_

 _I pulled up to the house nervous. I saw Stans car in the driveway but I wasn't sure what to expect. I'd never told them of the pregnancy or that I'd lost Connor. I had every intention of doing so but then when neither of them showed up when I was in the hospital, I realized they didn't really care. Mom called and asked if I was ok, I told her I was just sick. I don't think they ever told her why I was there. At 17, they didn't have to tell my parents anything unless it was life or death or I was unable to communicate my own thoughts and wishes. Plus mom had signed a paper years ago Ok'ing Olena to make any decisions regarding health care if I was unable to since she was the one always taking me to the ER. I hadn't seen Stan since I was four months along and told him I wouldn't let him hurt me anymore._

 _I slowly walked inside and found him in the living room with bags of my stuff._

" _What are you doing?" I asked confused._

" _What's it look like? I won't have whore's in my house," he spat._

" _What are you talking about?" I asked confused._

" _How long did you think you could hide? Didn't think we'd see the medical bills? See what happened? Or did you think we were too stupid" he said coming closer to me._

" _I was going to tell you, I just lost him so quickly and I haven't see either of you since," I tried to explain knowing my words were falling on deaf ears._

" _Oh, I'm sure," he said with disgust all over his face. "You're just like your mother and I want you out of this house now! you're 18 so I have no legal responsibility to you anymore."_

" _Is my mother ok with this?" I asked._

" _Oh, it was her idea," he smirked. "She wanted to come do it herself but she said the thought of seeing you right now makes her sick."_

" _Can I at least finish out the school year?" I asked knowing it would probably be useless. Tears burned my eyes but I didn't want to give him that satisfaction._

" _No, Rosemarie. You can't. I want you out of my house NOW!" he yelled the last part. "I've been good to you over the years, put a roof over your head, let you spend my money, feed and clothe you. The worst part is, you're not even mine. I tried to love you, I really did but who could? You're just a slut. Your baby is better off dead than having you as a mother. You probably don't even know who the father is!"_

" _Take that back you asshole!" I yelled getting truly angry. I stomped over towards him. "Take that back now!"_

" _Or what, slut," he smiled evilly happy he was getting under my skin._

" _Or I'll kick your ass! You piece of shit. You're the lowest human being I've met in my entire life and I've put up with it but I don't have to anymore. There's a reason mom is never home and that's so she doesn't have to come see your ugly, selfish, self-serving, ass!"_

 _All of a sudden, he whipped back slapped me hard. my face flew to the side but I quickly recovered and threw a punch at him hitting him right in the nose before grabbing his shoulders and kneeing him in the balls like Dimitri showed me before he left. He immediately crumpled to the ground holding his junk. I looked down and yelled at him as I kicked his stomach a few times,_

" _Don't you ever touch me again you sorry piece of shit. If what you said is true then I'm glad I'm not your daughter because there's nothing else worse than that title," I grabbed the bags he had and set them in front of the door while he was still on the floor. I went upstairs and quickly grabbed everything else that was important to me and stuffed it all into as many bags as I could. I plan to sneak back in once he leaves again but who knows what he'll do with the stuff if I don't take it now. luckily, he'd already thrown all of my clothes in the bags downstairs so I just mostly had to get the other things. When I was done I made my way downstairs and put the rest of the bags in front of the door. Stan was just getting up as I opened the door and put my bags on the porch. I grabbed them all and set them there since I couldn't carry them all in one trip. Once I had the last bag on the porch I heard the door slam behind me and the lock slide into place. Luckily, I was still using Dimitri's truck so I gathered as many bags as I could and put them in the bed of it. It only took me two trips thankfully, I started the truck and backed out of the drive looking at the house once more. I made it a full block before I had to park on the side of the road and broke down…_

 **Present:**

I spent the next month and a half in New York surprisingly not too miserable. Dimitri hadn't reached out besides one text message the night I left. He hadn't even asked me to come back. Just told me to be careful and be happy. I met my new producer Nick when I landed. He's pretty awesome and easy to work with. He hadn't asked questions about why I came out here and I hadn't volunteered the information. I've actually been staying at his apartment because he's in the process of moving in with his girlfriend, he's just holding on to it until the lease expires in another month. He told me I could stay there for now until I find a place of my own since it's pretty much vacant now. Mia and Adrian went back to my place and packed it up for me. She sent some of my stuff out to me, the rest she's keeping in her spare room until I come back for it. Luckily, I don't have much stuff.

"Well, I think that's it for today. Dimitri is going to send the instrumentals for the next song when they're done. Have you finalized all of the lyrics for your part?" Nick asked from the booth. We'd just finished the vocals for a duet between Sydney and I. We hadn't been able to perform any at the showcase but then Sydney and I both had written one so we now had two on the duet album.

"Yep, finished the finalized version earlier," I smiled happy to be ahead of the game for now.

"Ok well send the new lyrics to Adrian and make sure he's ok with them. I'll call you later if he sends them to me tonight and we can meet again tomorrow. If not, you get a day off tomorrow," he smiled and winked at me. We'd been working pretty hard because they were trying to release the album soon while the talk was still hot about it.

"Oh my, what do I do with a whole day to myself?" I asked with a laugh.

"Go explore, you haven't seen anything in this city yet. Go do touristy things," he joked.

"I'll get right on it," I laughed grabbing my bag so I could leave. "Need anything?"

"No, I'm good. Go have fun," he smiled and waved before turning back towards the computer. I walked out the door and straight into Abe.

"I'm so sorry," I said jumping back. He just laughed.

"Ah little girl, I was hoping to run into you, though not literally," he chuckled. He was wearing a dark purple suit with a green scarf and a white handkerchief in his front pocket with his signature gold hoop earring. His two bodyguards just behind him. "Are you leaving?"

"I was about to. Nick and I just finished recording my vocals and he said he was done with me for the day," I rambled.

"I was too, would you care to join me for dinner? I want to check in and see how things are going?" he asked gesturing down the hall.

"Was that an actual offer or more of a mandate?" I asked confused.

"You know most people would jump at the chance to go to dinner with the President and CEO of a major record label, especially when they were an artist at that label," he chuckled. "It was an offer not a mandate. You can say no if you want to. I have heard you like to eat though."

"Who told you that? I'm going to kill Adrian," I said annoyed. He raised an eyebrow at me. "Sure, sounds great."

"It wasn't Adrian," he smirked gesturing down the hall for me to start walking. I started walking and he followed.

"Then who?" I asked.

"I'll never tell," he smirked again. "Have you ever eaten Turkish food?"

"I don't believe I have. I've had Russian but that's as close as I've gotten," I told him.

"Well, would you like to try it?" he asked.

"Sure, sounds interesting," I shrugged.

"Mind walking? The place I had in mind isn't very far from here," he said as we exited the building.

"No, I actually love walking. I'm enjoying the colder weather here. We don't get very much of it in the south."

"We don't get much of it in LA either. Where I'm from, Turkey, we get pretty cold winters. I like being in New York, it reminds me of there," he said.

"Why did you move here from Turkey?" I asked. "And why are you really here? Are you checking up on me?"

"Yes I am. I moved here for business and because I had some personal matters here I had to attend to. I go back and visit though."

"Why are you checking up on me? Am I getting canned already?" I asked worriedly.

"No, Rosemarie you are not getting canned already. Dimitri told us about everything, by us I just mean Alberta and I, and I wanted to make sure you were ok and see how things were going on this side of the country," he said looking down at me with sadness in his eyes. Thankfully there was no pity or else I might have lost it and went off on him.

"I appreciate it but I'm fine. I don't know why he went and told you," I said annoyed. I guess I understand, it's his story now too so he can tell whoever he wants but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

"He was warning us. He came to us the day of the showcase and said you might be running and we should find another option for you as far as producers because he doubted you would want to work with him anymore. He also was letting us know in case there was any way anything could get leaked. He wanted us to be prepared for it so we could stay on top of things."

"Oh." I said not sure how to respond to that. While I was preparing to run, thinking I was hiding it. He knew and was making sure I was taken care of. Even after everything I had just told him the night before.

By now we had arrived at a food truck advertising food I'd never heard of.

"This is where we're eating?" I asked shocked.

"Don't look so shocked little girl," he smirked. "They have the best Turkish food in the city."

"YOU eat at food trucks? I mean I have no problems with it but I imagine you dine at 5 star restaurants for every meal," I exclaimed shocked.

"I don't eat at food trucks, just this one. Other than that, yes I do appreciate more fine dining," he said with a smirk. He walked over to the window and ordered us both food, I have no idea what, then we went and sat at a picnic table near the truck.

"This is really good," I said after I swallowed my second bite. "If Dimitri told you about everything the day of the showcase, why are you just now coming to check in?"

"I've been checking up on you, you just didn't know it. I've talked to your producer a few times since you've been here. I wanted to let you settle in and clear your head a little."

"That's a little creepy," I told him sarcastically. "Do you stalk all of your artists?"

"I haven't stalked you," he laughed. "I do check up on my artists though from time to time. You are a special case though."

"Why?" I asked confused.

"I knew your mother," he said bluntly. "A long time ago. You remind me of her."

"I'm nothing like my mother," I spat. "And how do you know her?"

"We met when we were young. She was in Turkey for job training. We met through her work. You are a lot like her, even if you don't realize it."

"Obviously you didn't know her very well then," I said pissed off. "How do you even know who my mother is?"

"Background check," he said a little too quickly. I leveled my gaze at him.

"Well maybe she was a different person then but me and my mother are nothing alike. She's selfish, heartless, and so many other things I could go on for days. I am not."

"She's also stubborn, hard headed, one of the strongest women I've ever known and you are too," he said defensively. I wondered why he cared.

"Look, like I said maybe she was a different person when you knew her but my mom is not a good topic for me so why don't we just drop it?"

"Why do you hate her so much?" he asked curiously.

"She was never a good mother, just passed me off on literally anyone else she could. Lied to me about who my father was, and the straw that broke the camels back was the day she kicked me out because I'd been pregnant, not caring that I'd just lost my baby, not even caring enough to show up and do it herself. So, yea you can say I have issues with her," I said honestly. I didn't know why I was telling him this but it didn't necessarily feel like a bad idea.

"Hmmm interesting," he said. That was it. I didn't really know how to respond to that.

"So, did you know Stan too?" I asked.

"Thankfully, no," was all he said. We finished our food in silence.

"I have something for you. I debated whether or not to give it to you but, I think you need it," he said as we started back towards the studio. He reached into his jacket and pulled out a CD. All it said on it was 'Roza' and I knew what it was. He reached back into the pocket and pulled out an envelope. "There's a note too."

"Why are you bringing it to me? Why didn't he just mail it?" I asked.

"I was heading this way. Plus, we have a deal," he said mysteriously. "How are you doing out here in New York? Is it a better fit for you?"

"Eh, I miss the people back in LA, Surprisingly I made a lot of friends back there but, it's been nice out here. Very healing," I said honestly. I did miss the people in LA, all of them, Dimitri the most, but, it's also been great being out here. After telling Dimitri everything, I feel freed. I don't know if it's because I'm not constantly carrying around the guilt of not telling him anymore or what. I still feel my own guilt and at times my own anger but I finally feel like I'm working through it in a healthy way. I even called Dr. Olendsky and got the therapists number she'd been wanting me to see and we've been doing phone sessions once a week. Surprisingly it's helped a lot.

"Good, I'm glad," he smiled down at me as we approached the studio. "I'll be here for another day if you need anything. One of my guards will escort you home, I have some business to attend to."

"I don't need anyone to escort me. I walk home every day," I said defensively.

"Yes, and you shouldn't. It's not safe. Pavel will escort you home." He said gesturing to the guard behind him his tone made it clear he wasn't to be argued with. That obviously meant, I was going to argue.

"I don't want your guard. I will be fine on my own thank you very much," I told him. I turned on my heel and started walking towards Alex's apartment. I got 20 feet before I realized that he was following me anyways. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. I didn't say anything, though it took great restraint. He was after all my boss and the last thing I wanted was to be fired right before releasing my first album. I ignored the guard the rest of the way thankful it was close. As soon as I got into my apartment I called Lissa.

"He freaking made a cd for me," I told her as soon as she answered the phone.

"Dimitri?" she asked.

"Yep. The studio president, Abe, just came to pay me a visit and check in to see how I was doing and gave me a cd when he left from Dimitri."

"Have you listened to it?" she asked.

"No. I don't know if I want to," I said nervously.

"Well you're not going to know what's on it until you do," she said.

"What if it's nothing but songs that just say how much he hates me over and over again…" I rambled.

"Do you really think Dimitri would do that?" she asked and I pictured her rolling her eyes at me.

"No, but I do deserve it," I muttered.

"Yes, you do," she said honestly. "But you did what was best for you and even though I don't agree with it, it's seemed to help."

"It has. I still regret not telling him when I had the chance and I will always feel guilty and miss my baby boy but, for the first time in a long time I feel…free. I'm starting to finally feel like it's ok to be happy again. I'm not there yet but, I'm working on it."

"What's still holding you back?" she asked.

"I'm not sure. I'm figuring that out still. I'm happy here in New York. I like my new producer, we get along very well. I'm halfway done recording my first album ever. I should be on cloud 9. Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying it all. I just feel like somethings missing or holding me back. But, I am doing better than I have since the day he left."

"Maybe you should listen to the CD and see if it gives you any answers?" she suggested. "I've talked to Vika a little and she said he was upset but pretty understanding. I don't think you'll get upset by listening to it."

"Ok, I guess I should woman up and listen to it."

"I think you're right. Call me when you're done if you want."

"Ok, wish me luck. Love you."

"Love you too," she said before hanging up. I pulled the CD out of my bag and looked at it. I pulled the note out too. I stared at it for a good five minutes before getting the courage up to read it.

 _Roza,_

 _Here's the CD I promised you all those years ago at the airport. Truthfully, I've been writing songs about you since I started writing and I've never stopped. Even during those 5 years I wrote songs for you. I didn't record most of them because it hurt too much but here they are._

 _I understand why you left. You were right I needed to process and go through the emotions. You were also right about the anger. There were some moments where I was so angry I couldn't think straight and I'm glad you weren't there because I probably would have said things I didn't mean and couldn't take back. Mostly though, I was mad at myself. I should have told you that night that I don't blame you at all for any of it. Though I don't agree with you not telling me when you could have, I can understand why you didn't. It's the same reason I made the mistake of breaking up with you at the terminal that day. I also don't blame you for his death. I know you. To your very core, you're fierce, loving and, extremely protective of those you love. Even if you hadn't told me what happened I would never have blamed you because I know you loved that baby boy and protected him as much as you possibly could have. It's not your fault that some asshole ran a red light and it's not your fault that Connor died. Forgive yourself. You've told me now so let go of the guilt and forgive yourself._

 _I hope you're enjoying things out in New York and I hope you're finding the happiness you deserve. After we finish the duet album, I'm taking some time off and have officially relinquished your solo album over to Nick. You can come back to LA if you want without worrying about running into me._

 _I'm sorry about everything. I understand now why you were so angry when we first reconnected. I will never be able to make up for everything I've done and put you through. I don't even really have an excuse except that I was a stupid kid who got sucked into a life he didn't completely understand. I hope maybe one day to earn your forgiveness and hope that maybe one day I can be the man you'd always hoped I'd become._

 _Anyways, here's your CD. I tried to put it in order for you. Some of the songs I explained or gave a little intro to but, most of them are pretty self-explanatory._

 _Love Always,_

 _Comrade_

By the end of the note I had tears running down my cheeks. I quickly stood up and walked over to my DVD player and put the CD in since I didn't have a cd player here. I knew it could play it. As soon as I heard his voice, I had to sit down. I went to the couch and turned the volume up.

"I plan on writing a note to go with this so this might be redundant, sorry," Dimitri's voice said over the speakers. "I promised you before I left that I would make you a cd. Here It is. I don't know if I can make everything up to you but this cd is proof you have always been on my mind. I hope you're actually listening to it and haven't just thrown it away, if you have, well, I deserve it."

The music started and I gasped at the first line.

 **I think you can do much better than me**

 **After all the lies that I made you believe**

"Well guess we're getting right to the point," I muttered.

 **I told myself I won't miss you**

 **But I remember**

 **What it feels like beside you**

 **I really miss your hair in my face**

 **And the way your innocence tastes**

 **And I think you should know this**

 **You deserve much better than me**

I kept listening surprised when he mentions pictures I'd asked him about that he'd found, laughed when he mentioned 'that time at the mall" with him and I in the dressing room. It wasn't as bad as it sounds, we didn't hook up in a dressing room but he did sneak into a dressing room with me one time and there was some heavy making out. By the end of the song I wanted to cry but refused knowing it was only the first song. When he ended that one he spoke up again.

"This one I wrote after I'd left when I was still torn over my decision to leave. I should have known then that I was making the biggest mistake of my life but I guess that's lessons learned," he said sadly. "I created a different ending and changed the scenario a little which is why I'm explaining and letting you know before you hear it."

 **But if there's a pill to help me forget,  
God knows I haven't found it yet  
But I'm dying to, God I'm trying to**

'Cause trying not to love you, only goes so far  
And trying not to need you, is tearing me apart  
Can't see the silver lining, from down here on the floor  
And I just keep on trying, but I don't know what for  
'Cause trying not to love you  
Only makes me love you more  
Only makes me love you more

And this kind of pain, only time takes away  
That's why it's harder to let you go (That's why it's harder to let you go)  
And nothing I can do, without thinking of you  
That's why it's harder to let you go (That's why it's harder to let you go)

I smiled at the happy ending he gave where the girl shows up saying she feels the same way. Then they end up happily ever after. I rolled my eyes at it shaking my head with a smile. The next song picked up without an introduction.

 **It's a late night  
On a lonely street  
I can't hide  
I can't hide**

See the sun rise  
The truth is waking up in me  
I can't hide  
I can't hide

Doesn't matter where I go  
When I'm without you I am low  
Without you  
Without you  
I've been low and lost without you

Thought that I could make it right  
That there was something I could find  
Without you  
Without you  
I've been low and lost without you

As bad as it sounds, it's nice to know it wasn't as easy on him as I'd thought. It's nice to know he missed me too. Though, it made me angry all over again that he did this to both of us. I know I understand why he left but I feel like it might take a while for the anger to completely go away. Though even now, it's not as bad as it's been in the past. I understand his actions and I can even understand why he dropped contact. He and I, we're too much alike for me not to. If after I lost Connor, I hadn't lived in the same town as everyone, I probably would have dropped all contact. Heck, I tried to when I moved in with Ralph until I was literally dragged back to the Belikovs. The next song also had no introduction but went along with my thoughts.

 **I'd like to call you up right now and see how you're doin'  
But I don't wanna hurt you anymore so I'll leave you alone  
I could tell by the look on your face you didn't see it comin'  
I was tryin' to do what's best but damn if it don't feel wrong**

I shot the stars out of your sky  
Took the love right from your eyes  
And I did it all knowing you thought, I  
Was the hero of your heart  
But I turned out to be  
The breaker

For anyone else, they might not understand Dimitri's motives but I do. He left me behind thinking he was doing what was best for me, he was wrong, but he still had good intentions. I honestly don't believe he planned on us breaking up permanently when he initially did it. I also don't think he expected it to be so hard and I know he didn't expect to wind up doing drugs. He had always prided himself on being the reliable hero type of guy. When his dad left right before I met him, he stepped up and thought he had to be the new man of the house. Even in high school as soon as he could, he got a job so he could help pay for things so his mom didn't have to. When he started the drugs, he lost that status in his eyes. Meaning he lost a part of himself and who he was. Some people would look at that and say 'ok big deal?' but I know what that meant for Dimitri. Losing that part of himself like that made him think that he wasn't good enough anymore plus I'm sure continued drug usage didn't help that mindset making him think we were better off without him. He doesn't see just how amazing it is that he stopped when he did and how he did and how strong that actually makes him. Just because I understand, does that mean I forgive him completely? No. I think only time will be able to do that. Now that I do understand completely, even if I disagree, I can try to move on and work on the forgiveness part. Deep down I know I'm mostly there because honestly, I don't want to be mad at him anymore and I don't want to hold on to these issues of the past anymore.

"This one doesn't really need an explanation but I wanted to give you more of a timeline update. I wrote this after I got clean before Tasha and I got together. I had decided that after everything I'd been through, you were better off without me but I still loved and missed you. So out came this song. Yet again, I should have realized then that I needed to come home but in my mind, you were off at college and had moved on and hopefully happy."

 **So far away from where you are  
These miles have torn us worlds apart  
And I miss you, yeah I miss you**

So far away from where you are  
I'm standing underneath the stars  
And I wish you were here

I miss the years that were erased  
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face  
I miss all the little things  
I never thought that they'd mean everything to me  
Yeah I miss you  
And I wish you were here

The song faded into the next one with no introduction. I closed my eyes and just tried to turn my brain off and just listen.

 **You used to be the girl who set the world on fire  
And they doused your soul in water but the flames raged higher  
Used to act so tough like you could walk on a wire  
And they called you devil's daughter, such a pretty liar  
Yeah  
Yeah**

You were burning like the summer, crazy like a fox  
You hit harder than a drummer, like a wave on the rocks  
You could play me like the lotto, you were playing a part  
There ain't nobody could tame you and your wild heart  
Yeah  
Yeah

Take me back  
To those barefoot summer nights  
Take me back  
Running down those highway lights  
Remember when  
We said don't let go ´til we die  
Take me back  
To that fire in your eyes  
'Cause I know it ain't gone too far  
Take me back to you and to your wild heart  
Yeah  
To your wild heart  
Yeah

As he sang, memories of us as teenagers flashed through my head on a reel. Us playing at the lake in the summers, pulling pranks on teachers and friends, kissing while sitting around a bonfire. On and on they played until the end of the song. I smiled glad to think about those happier days when we were young and crazy and carefree.

"This song, I actually sang to you on the plane. When I told Adrian about what I was doing he told me I had to add this one and then informed me he had heard me singing it to you. You looked like you were having a bad dream so I went over to you and sang it hoping it would calm you down. It did thankfully. This song is one I don't sing much but one I have relied on a lot over the years. After everything, I've lost sight of who I was or where I was going. This song, or more accurately, you, is what's kept me grounded and going."

 **Sometimes it feels like I'm so far away,  
Like everything I love has lost its place.  
When life gets the best of me,  
I just close my eyes and see,**

Fireflies dancing in the yard,  
Under a blanket of stars,  
The sound of that rusty string guitar,  
Playin' songs we know.  
And all that I have to do,  
Is think one little thought of you,  
And I'm back home  
I'm right back home

.

I smiled at that one remembering Adrian telling me to ask Dimitri about it. I never did and now I'm glad I didn't because now's the perfect time to have heard it. I don't know how I would have reacted to it before. Probably with a lot of anger. The next song started up with no introduction.

 **I know I took the path that you would never want for me  
I know I let you down, didn't I?  
So many sleepless nights where you were waiting up on me  
Well I'm just a slave unto the night**

Now remember when I told you that's the last you'll see of me  
Remember when I broke you down to tears  
I know I took the path that you would never want for me  
I gave you hell through all the years

So I, I bet my life, I bet my life  
I bet my life on you

I honestly didn't know how to react to this one or how I felt about it. So I went back to closing my eyes and trying to just listen as the next song played.

 **I'm sorry for everything  
Oh, everything I've done**

Am I out of touch?  
Am I out of my place?  
When I keep saying that I'm looking for an empty space  
Oh, I'm wishing you're here  
But I'm wishing you're gone  
I can't have you and I'm only gonna do you wrong

Oh, I'm going to mess this up  
Oh, this is just my luck  
Over and over and over again

I'm sorry for everything  
Oh, everything I've done  
From the second that I was born it seems I had a loaded gun  
And then I shot, shot, shot a hole through everything I loved  
Oh, I shot, shot, shot a hole through every single thing that I loved

This one tugged at my heart strings. He was apologizing but also trying to explain. I get the feeling of wanting somebody but also not because you know you'd only screw it up. I go back and forth daily on whether or not I'm glad Dimitri wasn't there for it all. I wanted him there but I didn't want him to have to go through that pain and I didn't want him to seem me like I was. I was sneaking into a bar in the next town over, which is how I met Ralph, I was drinking, I was suicidal, and overall just a wreck. A part of me thinks maybe if Dimitri would have been there I wouldn't have been so bad off but another part of me knows I might have been worse. Deep down a part of me is glad he wasn't there for it all.

"This next one is also self explanatory but I wanted to tell you about when I wrote it. I went home that night after the bar and the alleyway and I wrote this. I had known I'd hurt you and that I'd really screwed up but I don't think I ever realized just how bad until that night. You were so torn up and my heart shattered all over again when I saw the pain and confusion on your face…"

 **Oh I had a lot to say was thinking on my time away  
I missed you and things weren't the same**

Cause everything inside it never comes out right  
And when I see you cry it makes me want to die

I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue, I'm sorry about all things I said to you  
And I know I can't take it back  
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds, and baby the way you make my world go round  
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry:

This time I think I'm to blame it's harder to get through the days  
You get older and blame turns to shame

Cause everything inside it never comes out right  
And when I see you cry it makes me want to die

I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue, I'm sorry about all things I said to you  
And I know I can't take it back  
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds, and baby the way you make my world go round  
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry:

Every single day I think about how we came all this way  
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried it's never too late to make it right  
Oh yeah sorry!

I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue, I'm sorry about all things I said to you  
And I know I can't take it back  
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds, and baby the way you make my world go round  
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry:

By the end of this song, I had started crying. I had known my breakdown had bothered him but not this much. In this song I could feel the pain and the guilt and I knew he honestly meant it. Somehow, I felt lighter like maybe I was starting to accept his apology. Listening to this song I could feel how much he meant it and even though he did, I know he didn't mean to hurt me as much as he did. The next song started and it sounded a little more upbeat.

 **Girl, I'm glad you called, first heard you talk  
It took me a second cause I couldn't hear your drawl  
And that don't sound like you  
No, that don't sound like you**

I know it's been a while, I don't mean to pry  
But when I asked you if you're happy I didn't hear a smile  
And that don't sound like you  
Nah, that ain't the girl I knew you always sounded like

Truck tires on a gravel road  
Laughing at the world, blasting my radio  
Cannon ball splashing in the water  
Doing whatever whenever you wanted  
What did he do?  
'Cause you don't sound like you anymore

Your pretty brown hair, you always loved it  
Guess he didn't like it so you just cut it  
And that don't sound like you  
Nah, that ain't the girl I knew you always sounded like

Like the previous songs about our past, this one made me smile as I thought of some more of our happier times. Mudding at Aarons when he told me I looked sexy in shorts and a T-shirt, the time I attempted 20 questions at the lake which ended with us both in the water with him throwing me in. I was sad when he mentioned my hair because he was right. I loved my hair and half the time I was torn because I missed it but I also loved it the way it is now. That was one I smiled at when it ended. The next one started up immediately.

 **Tell me what you need and I will find a way to stop the bleeding;  
No, don't add to my mistakes.  
Tell me you're not leaving and I'll tell you everything you need to know.  
Don't throw it all away, don't say my words are just too late.**

I don't want to be left behind, I've been so blind to all that I have broken.  
Can we put this back together?  
No more empty promises, they don't exist; just me out in the open.  
I know this will take time, can you give me one last chance to make it right?

 **You say the story's ending but I think it's time we stop pretending;  
No, can't let you turn the page.  
Does your heart remember when we used to say forever, don't let go.  
Don't throw it all away; don't say these words are just too late.**

I don't want to be left behind, I've been so blind to all that I have broken.  
Can we put this back together?  
No more empty promises, they don't exist; just me out in the open.  
I know this will take time, can we put the past behind us,  
Tonight I'm gonna fight for you; just give me one last chance to make it right,  
Last chance to make it right.

This one brought the tears back. I could feel the honesty in his voice and the emotions. I could feel his regret and remorse and yet his slight hopefulness. Hopeful that I'd change my mind and come back to him. It honestly surprised me. I expected him to never want to see me again. I didn't really know how he'd felt. I knew we slept together but that doesn't mean anything really at all. That was a mixture of old emotions, pent up emotions, anger, and so many other things but none that really meant he wanted to try again with me or vice versa. More like a much-needed release. To hear him say he wanted a chance to make things right again both excited and terrified me. It was nice to know for sure that he still wanted me but I was also scared. Terrified to let him back in again. Doubtful on if I could even trust him not to break my heart again. Also, sad, because I know I'll never be able to give him the life he wants and deserves. I fought back those feelings and just tried to listen as the next song started.

 **You blink once**

 **Then it's gone**

 **Don't let it take the skin from your bones**

 **It's darkest**

 **Before the dawn**

 **But you don't need to do this alone (no you don't)**

 **Cause when you get this close**

 **You can feel the heat**

 **Now you're so afraid**

 **Of what's underneath**

 **Ohhh, don't**

 **Even if it hurts**

 **Even if it makes me bleed**

 **I'm gonna carry you**

 **Pushing through**

 **With the dirt on my sleeves**

 **Even if it hurts**

 **Even if it's razor deep**

 **I'm not giving up**

 **Not gonna run**

 **I'll be there when you need me**

 **Even if it hurts**

 **These nails**

 **In my hands**

 **Erasing all the lines in the sand**

 **Even if it hurts**

 **Even if it makes me bleed**

 **I'm gonna carry you**

 **Pushing through**

 **With the dirt on my sleeves**

 **Even if it hurts**

 **Even if it's razor deep**

 **I'm not giving up**

 **Not gonna run**

 **I'll be there when you need me**

 **Even if it hurts**

 **Even if it hurts**

 **Knocking at upon you**

 **I'm knocking at upon you**

 **How long will it take**

 **For you to lean on me**

 **Time to let it go**

 **So you can finally breathe**

 **Slow, slow**

This one had me all sorts of confused emotionally. I wanted to believe from here on out he'd be here no matter what but I just couldn't. hearing him say it did make my heart swell but I also was sinking in doubts. What happens if I did trust him again? Will he leave again as soon as he thinks it's for the best for both of us or will he stay? And why am I even considering all of this when I know it's not right to restart a relationship with him. I can't have kids, he wants a big family. I can't trust him, he says he's learned his lesson. I was honestly thinking about it all so much I didn't even realize the song had changed until the chorus of the next one.

 **I don't want to live  
To waste another day  
Underneath the shadow of mistakes I made  
Cause I feel like I'm breaking inside  
I don't want to fall and say I lost it all  
'Cause baby there's a part of me that hit the wall  
Leaving pieces of me behind  
And I feel like I'm breaking inside**

Out here, nothings clear  
Except the moment I decided to move on and I ignited  
Disappear into the fear  
You know there ain't no comin' back  
When you're still carrying the past  
You can't erase, separate  
Cigarette in my hand,  
Hope you all understand

I won't be the last one in line  
I finally figured out what's mine

I don't want to live  
To waste another day  
Underneath the shadow of mistakes I made  
'Cause I feel like I'm breaking inside  
I don't want to fall and say I lost it all  
'Cause baby there's a part of me that hit the wall  
Leaving pieces of me behind  
Leaving pieces of me behind  
And I feel like I'm breaking inside

By now I had silent tears just running down my face with no signs of stopping. As much as I loved this CD and loved getting to hear his emotions in thoughts throughout all of this, it was almost too much to bear right now. I was overwhelmed with emotion and left so torn I didn't know which way was up anymore. I tried to just shut everything off and just listen but it was so hard as the next song came on.

 **There goes my heart beating  
Cause you are the reason  
I'm losing my sleep  
Please come back now**

There goes my mind racing  
And you are the reason  
That I'm still breathing  
I'm hopeless now

I'd climb every mountain  
And swim every ocean  
Just to be with you  
And fix what I've broken  
Oh, cause I need you to see  
That you are the reason

There goes my hands shaking  
Cause you are the reason  
My heart keeps bleeding  
And I need you now

If I could turn back the clock  
I'd make sure the light defeated the dark  
I'd spend every hour, of every day  
Keeping you safe

I'd climb every mountain  
And swim every ocean  
Just to be with you  
And fix what I've broken  
Oh, cause I need you to see  
That you are the reason  
You are the reason  
Yeah, yeah...

I'd climb every mountain  
And swim every ocean  
Just to be with you  
And fix what I've broken  
Oh, cause I need you to see  
That you are the reason

I got up and grabbed some tissues from my bathroom as the next one started hoping that this crying would end soon but knowing it would probably last all night.

 **Lately, I've been so far gone  
Pretending I don't know where I went wrong  
I've been lying to myself in the arms of someone else  
Without you I just can't fake it ..tonight  
Here I am, so please don't tell me it's the ending**

You're all I ever wanted from the beginning  
I know I let you down, I'll live with that forever,  
I want to scream out loud  
That you're the only one that makes me better

I'm guessing he wrote this while he was still with Tasha but I'm not for sure, that or right after they broke up. The next one he added an introduction to.

"I knew you would probably leave. Alberta told me that she'd told you about the place in New York so I assumed you would. I have to admit I hoped like hell you wouldn't but I understand. I'm not mad at you for leaving, I just wish you would have talked to me about it beforehand. if I'm being honest it might have been good you did. You were right, you need to go find out who you are without the past holding you back and now you can."

Then the music started.

 **You say you gotta go and find yourself  
You say that you're becoming someone else  
Don't recognize the face in the mirror  
Looking back at you**

You say you're leavin  
As you look away  
I know theres really nothin left to say  
Just know i'm here  
Whenever you need me  
I'll wait for you

So i'll let you go  
I'll set you free  
And when you see what you need to see  
When you find you come back to me

Guilt twisted in me as he sang this song. Even though I left, he wasn't mad and understood. I thought back to Abe telling me how he'd talked to them the day I left already trying to make sure I would be able to and that I would be taken care of. I shouldn't have left him like that and even though my heart begged me not to, my mind forced me to. While I don't regret leaving, I could have done it differently. It's been good for me being out here and away from all of the past and not carrying around all of that weight from before.

"Roza, I hope one day you'll give me a second chance but I also hope you don't because you deserve far better than me. Someone who hasn't broken your heart already. If I was a better man I would say that I hope you find someone new that won't hurt you or that hasn't hurt you in the past. Honestly though, I can't. The truth is I would hate it if you moved on with someone else. It's been bad enough with Jesse and hearing about your exes, I can't imagine what it would be like if you got into a serious relationship with anyone else. Though I would deserve it. Especially with all of the Tasha mess you had to deal with. I haven't really earned the right to a second chance but hopefully one day I will. If not, I can honestly say that I hope you find your happiness because if anyone deserves it, it's you. For now, I'm going to walk away. I've already talked to Nick and he's signed on to produce your solo album, once we finish the duet album I'm going to take a break and head back to Georgia. I won't be living with mama so if you do want to come visit there you won't have to worry about running into me. I don't know that I'll stay there very long anyways. This is the last song, I hope it gave you some peace or at least some insight. If not well, then I'm sorry."

 **Is anybody out there?  
Is anybody listening?  
Does anybody really know?  
If it's the end of the beginning  
A cry  
A rush  
From one breath  
Is all we're waiting for  
Sometimes the one we're taking  
Changes every one before**

It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't  
It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed  
Some prayers find an answer  
Some prayers never know  
We're holding on and letting go

Sometimes we're holding angels  
And we never even know  
Don't know if we'll make it  
But we know  
We just can't let it show

When the silence hit after the cd finished I picked up my phone.

"Did you help with this?" I asked through my tears.

"I take it you got your present," Adrian said from the other end of the line.

"Did you help him with it?" I asked again.

"Just on a few songs, he's been working on it in what little spare time he has. Like after hours and first thing in the morning. Did you like it?"

"Like it? I fucking loved it," I said laying back on the couch. "Now I'm more confused than ever."

"Well the balls in your court. He's pulling himself out of the equation," he said.

"What do you mean? I know he said he was taking a break from the label and had given my solo album over to Nick. He said he was going to go back to Baia for a visit but I assumed he would be back in LA after that right?" I asked confused.

"No red, I don't think he will be. He got an offer to become a head producer at our sister label in London and I think he's going to take it. He said he'll still come back every once in a while, to visit his family but other than that he's going to be in London. I think he's leaving so you'll come back because he knows your friends are here and Lissa was wanting to move here. He doesn't want you to feel like you can't come back because of him."

"He can't move to London!"

"Why can't he? He has nothing to stay for, does he?" Adrian asked as I played right into his hands.

"I don't want him to leave because of me but I'm not ready yet."

"Will you ever be?"

"I don't know," I said honestly. "More importantly I don't know that I can be. I can't have kids Adrian. That's what he wants more than anything is a big family."

"How do you know what he wants? Have you asked him, or even told him about all of it? Because I think you'll find he wants you more. I know you're scared to get hurt again and I know you're worried about if you can trust him again but, how are you going to rebuild the trust if you're not even talking to him? Then you've got to ask yourself how long are you going to let fear control you?"

"Can you please just hit on me and stop being so smart?" I asked uncomfortable with this conversation because he was right. It is a choice I have to make. I have to decide if it's worth getting hurt again.

"No can do Little Red, I'm a taken man now," he said and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"How are you and Sydney?" I asked.

We talked for a little longer before I hung up. I laid back on the couch and restarted the cd. After my third time of listening to it, I sent Nick a text.

' **I need your help'**

 **Two weeks later:**

I paced nervously behind the curtain wondering how this was going to go. Somehow, someone pulled some strings and got me a performance on a late night show in new york. I wasn't being interviewed, just performing but I was told I could say something really quick before singing. I was proud I'd kept it such a surprise, only Alberta and Nick fully knew what I was doing since I had to get their help. Adrian knew enough because I told him to make sure Dimitri watched the show. Pretty soon the curtain was moving and I was standing on a stage in front of a studio audience. The crowd cheered and I smiled.

"This song is dedicated to a very special person to me. Recently he sent me a gift bearing his soul and this song is my response. I might be too late but it's worth a try. If it works, I'm on my way home. If it doesn't, I'm sorry. Comrade, this is for you," I said looking into the camera. The music started playing and I sang as if my life depended on it.

 **I was running on an empty heart,  
Not a trace of gasoline  
Trying to dim every single spark  
That could hurt, that could burn all of me**

Like a soldier on the battleground  
Lying wounded on the field  
I was fighting alone with a broken sword  
Now I'm caught in a war with no shield

If you hold me now and leave me never,  
Say you'll stay with me forever  
Then I surrender, surrender  
If you hold me now and leave me never,  
Say you'll stay with me forever  
Then I surrender, surrender  
Surrender, surrender

I pushed and pulled all the ones that tried,  
Then I watched them fade away  
As I look around a vacant room,  
I see nobody left here to blame

'Cause I made myself a prisoner  
Shackled up by all my fears  
But I feel you breaking away at the walls,  
Make them fall make them all disappear

If you hold me now and leave me never,  
Say you'll stay with me forever  
Then I surrender, surrender  
If you hold me now and leave me never,  
Say you'll stay with me forever  
Then I surrender, surrender  
Surrender, surrender

Hold me now and leave me never,  
Say you'll stay with me forever  
Then I surrender, surrender  
Then I surrender, surrender

When it was over I looked into the camera and smiled, "I surrender"

I watched the performance as it aired live on the plane. Luckily it was a plane with Wifi so I was able to pull it up on my phone. I texted Adrian to make sure Dimitri was watching. He assured me he was. I knew I didn't have to go make a big grand gesture for him but I felt like I needed to. It was my way to let him know I was serious and I'd made up my mind. I knew we still had a lot of work ahead of us but I was willing to try.

After the plane touched down, I rented a car ready to make my way to Baia. I had already told Adrian that I was heading here after the performance. I didn't know how Dimitri would take the performance so I didn't want to rush and bombard him in LA, instead I figured I'd fly to Georgia and when he was ready he could meet me here. I was about 15 minutes outside of town when I heard a horn honking and turned to see lights coming straight at me. Next thing I knew, I felt blinding pain in my head as I heard glass crunching around me. The last thing I thought before I lost consciousness was "Not a-fucking-gain!"

 **AN: I know after last chapter I will probably get a lot of hate but if you stick with it, I promise you won't be disappointed. It's necessary and doesn't draw anything out longer than it was supposed to be.**

 **Songs used in this chapter:**

 **Better than me- Hinder**

 **Trying not to love you- NickelBack**

 **Without You- Ben Rector**

 **The Breaker- Little Big Town**

 **From where you are- Lifehouse**

 **If you only knew- Shinedown**

 **Mess I made- parachute**

 **Wild Heart- Daughtry**

 **Back home Charles Esten**

 **I bet my life- Imagine Dragons**

 **Shots- Imagine Dragons**

 **Sorry- Buckcherry**

 **You don't sound like you-**

 **One Last Chance- Daughtry**

 **Even If It Hurts- Sam Tinnesz**

 **Breaking Inside- Shinedown**

 **The Reason- Calum Scott**

 **Make me Better- Bo Bice**

 **Come Back to Me- David Cook**

 **Holding on and letting go- Ross Copperman**

 **Surrender- Cash, Cash acoustic version**

 ***Edited to Add, on most of these songs i only took parts of them and put them in the story so you didn't have a chapter just filled with song lyrics. most of them I just used parts of them to show you the gist of the song but a few i cut lines here and there to make it fit this story better.***


	33. Chapter 31 Happy Endings

**Guys! I'm literally crying right now because I'm so happy and excited that I finished this story! I'll add in an epilogue soon but it probably won't be very long.**

 **Thank you to every single person who has read, followed, favorited, and reviewed this story! You're support has carried me so far and pushed me into writing a story I could never have imagined. I love all of you guys! (If you haven't noticed in the last 30 chapters I always say guys, sorry. It's just a habit. Even talking to my mom and sisters I always say guys). I have poured my heart and soul into this story and the fact that so many of you have told me how much you have loved it also makes my heart explode with joy.**

 **Thank you for every song suggestion or idea or comment. I still have ideas and songs from some of you that I plan to use in the sequel because you have all been so amazing with them!**

 **This last chapter is 20 Microsoft pages long and I really considered making it into two chapters but I couldn't do that to you all.**

 **I really hope you all have enjoyed this story as much as I have!**

 **Love always,**

 **Cassandra!**

 **DPOV:**

I was on my way from the airport when my phone rang. I saw it was Vika and picked up.

"Hey Vika, what's-"

"Dimka!" she squealed. I could hear her sobbing. "There's been an accident."

"Vika, calm down. What happened?" I asked worriedly pulling off to the side of the road.

"Roza, she was in a car accident. They took her to general. We're on our way now. I don't know how bad it was. Dr. O called us. She said she's stable but that she couldn't tell us anything else," she said crying.

"Ok. I'm turning around now. I wasn't far out of town. I should beat y'all there. I'll let you know if they tell me anything," I said trying to stay calm for her. I pulled back out onto the road and pulled a U-turn, heading for the hospital. "You need to calm down. They said she's stable that's good."

"Ok. Let us know if you find out anything," she said already calming down.

"I will. I promise. She'll be ok Vika. She's been through this before," I told her more trying to convince myself than her.

"You're right," she sighed. "Ok, I'll see you when I get there."

I hung up and sped to the hospital freaking out the entire time. When I got there, I rushed to the nurse's station in the ER.

"Rose Hathaway?" I asked. The nurse looked at me then started to make the pitying 'sorry I can't tell you' face but luckily for me Dr. Olendsky walked out and towards the desk.

"Dimitri! I'm glad you're here, I was just about to instruct them to send back anyone that came asking about Rose. Here follow me and I'll fill you in," she said gesturing back the way she came. She turned and instructed the lady at the desk to let her know when my family got here and send them to Roza's room. Then we made our way through the doors and towards what I'm hoping was Roza's room. "Legally I can't tell you anything and I'm not allowed to technically be bringing you back right now but she did mention your name before we sedated her plus I know she would be ok with it. In the past she has given me permission to disclose any medical information should you come asking, I know that pertained towards information about Connor but she didn't actually specify so I'll go ahead and tell you. She does have some damage to one of her shoulders and one leg, we're running tests to find out the full extent of the damage. She did hit her head so we're watching for any signs of brain bleeding or swelling but as of right now she's not showing any. We do have her in ICU because we are monitoring brain activity but once she goes 24 hours with nothing popping up, she'll be moved to a regular room. Right now she's in the middle of some MRI's and CAT scans but you're more than welcome to wait in her room."

By this point we had gone down several hallways and were now entering an elevator.

"So, she's going to be fine? You don't think there will be any issues with bleeding or swelling?" I asked.

"I cannot promise that but I will say that as of right now the test are negative and it looks promising. The body is a crazy thing though so there is the possibility that it could change. That's why we're going to closely monitor her for the next 24 hours to make sure. You know Rose though, she wouldn't go down that easy. Especially not after that performance."

"You saw that?" I asked stupidly, a small smile appearing on my face. I still couldn't believe Roza did that. Then, look what happened because of it. If it weren't for me, she'd be back in LA, never even been to New York, and definitely not rushing back to Baia.

"I knew she wouldn't hold out for long, the girl was hurt but she's always loved you. In the end the love always wins," she smiled. Then she gestured to a room. "This room is hers, you can wait in here. I'm assuming you're going to tell your family what I told you. Once she gets back in here, no more than two visitors at a time. She'll also be sedated so don't freak out. After a few hours of observations, we'll cut back on the sedation meds."

"Ok. Thank you for telling me all of this, I know you're not supposed to so I appreciate it," I told her honestly.

"She signed a paper saying I was free to release her medical information to you. She originally signed it after everything with Connor in case you ever came looking for more information. I'm sure she'll be fine with me telling you this though. Like I said she loves you. She'd want you to know. Plus, I figure if I tell you, you're less likely to harass my staff until they do," she said with a grin.

"You are right," I nodded.

"I'm going to go check on Rose's tests. She should be back up here within the hour," she said before turning around and heading back the way we'd came. I went and sat on the chair by the window of the room that let me face the doorway. I pulled my phone out and called Vika.

"Dimka? Is she ok?" she asked worriedly.

"She's fine. She hurt her shoulder and her leg and hit her head. They're monitoring her for brain bleeding or swelling but so far it seems to be all clear. She's down running some tests right now but they have her in ICU as a precaution. They're going to keep her sedated for a few hours just in case," I told her as calmly as I could manage. I didn't want to freak her out any more than she already was but in all honesty I'm freaking out just as bad. I know she said it looked good and hopeful but until the 24 hour observations were over and she was awake in front of me, I probably won't be able to stop worrying.

"So, so far nothing major? Just the potential of something happening?" she asked.

"Yes, but she said she doesn't expect it to, they just have to take precautions just in case," I told her. "She'll be in ICU until tomorrow and only two people are allowed back at a time."

"Ok. It's just me and mama coming up there right now, Sonya and Karo were trying to find sitters. I'll call and let them know what's going on. I think Mason and Lissa are heading up there too."

"Ok, they said they're going to have her sedated. So, I don't even know if Sonya and Karo will want to come up. She's not going to be awake until after visiting hours are over," I warned her.

"Ok, I'll let them know and they can decide. Thank you for the update. We're about 20-25 minutes away so we'll be there shortly."

"Ok, I'll text you the room number so you won't forget it."

"Thank you," she said before hanging up. I put my phone on silent and put it in my pocket. I know there's more calls to make, I should call the label and call Mia, but right now I don't think I could. I was able to hold all my panic in while talking to Vika because she needed me to be calm but I don't think I could keep a reign on my emotions during another call right now. I sighed and put my head in my hands as I thought back to the last time I saw her in person. It was right before she left the stage during the showcase. She had rocked that entire performance and she was glowing like a star. I could tell the emotional toll the last day and a half had on her but she never let it show to the crowd. There were a few times she caught my eye and I could see the heartache and hurt in her eyes. I had known from the second I woke up to an empty bed that she was going to run. I even called in a favor to my friend out in New York to make sure she had a place there. I hoped I could talk to her before she did and convince her to stay but I knew it would be unlikely.

Oh, how I wish I could have convinced her to stay with me. The time she's been gone has been nothing but a roller coaster of emotion. I've gone through them all. Grief, depression, anger, guilt. The guilt's been the hardest because no matter what I do or say, it doesn't change things. I still screwed up and I still ruined Roza's life. Yet yesterday, she goes on national TV and professes that she still loves me and wants to get back together. She is amazing.

"You ok?" A voice came from the doorway. I look up to find mama standing there, luckily alone. I hadn't realized it but a few tears had escaped and made their way down my cheeks. I shook my head no as I wiped the tears away. I stood up and went over to her as she met me halfway. She wrapped me in a hug that was somehow extremely comforting even though I was a foot taller than her.

"She's going to be fine Dimka. She came out relatively unharmed. This is all just a precaution," she soothed.

"I know but, luck hasn't been on her side the last couple of years. What if something does go wrong? What if it's not ok?"

"You have to have faith and you have to believe in her," mama said leaning back and walking over to the chair I'd just been in. she sat down as I grabbed another one from the end of the room. "That girl is not going to go on national TV to declare her love for you just to let a car wreck end it before it begins. She's too stubborn. You and I both know that."

"She is the most stubborn person I know," I smiled softly. Mama gave me a look with a raised eyebrow and I suddenly knew how Roza has felt with me giving her the same look. "Ok well we might be tied."

About then two guys wheeled Roza in the room. They quickly got her bed into place as a nurse followed them and started plugging things in where they needed to go. I stood up and looked at her not getting closer to the bed so I would stay out of the nurses way. She looked pale, she had a bandage on her head but, not the kind you see in movies that goes all the way around. She had a cast on one leg and a few scratches on her arms and face but they were minor. If you didn't know any better you'd think she was just sleeping. Once the nurse left, I moved my chair to the side of her bed and sat down grabbing her hand in mine. I didn't say anything, just held her hand. Mama came around to the other side and grabbed her other hand.

"Hi beautiful girl," she said softly. She stood there for a few minutes just rubbing the back of Roza's hand making small talk. I tuned most of it out as my own thoughts went crazy. Already my anxiety had lessened just from seeing her and seeing that she was ok. It hadn't fully gone away though. I don't know how long we stayed there but soon mama made her exit saying she was going to go wait in the waiting room to give Vika some time. I took the time alone to just talk to her for a few minutes.

"Hey Roza," I said softly. My voice already echoing in the silence. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I'm so sorry you're here again and that I wasn't here. Even though I haven't shown it well, I love you so much. I don't know if you can hear me. I know you're not in a coma, just sedated but if you can I thought I'd let you know. I plan to prove it to you and show you every day. First we gotta make it through this and get you out of here."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Vika make her way towards the room. I stood up and hugged her as she came in. Then she went over to Roza's side. She sat on the edge of the bed and put her hand on Roza's.

"Well you certainly know how to draw a crowd," Vika joked to her. I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, that's exactly what happened," I smarted off as I went and sat back down on her other side.

"I'm just saying, she goes on national Tv and confesses her love to a secret stranger which anyone close to her knows is you, then she goes and gets in to a car wreck where she has to be rushed to the hospital. It's really just some major attention seeking," she smiled. I could see the sadness in her eyes and knew she was just trying to laugh it off. Her and Roza had that in common. "There really are better ways you know."

"Vika," I said softly seeing the tears form in her eyes. She looked over at me as one fell down her cheek. I walked around to her and opened my arm for a hug. She jumped up and into my arms as her tears fell.

"I was so scared," she mumbled into my chest. "It was just like last time. Mama getting a call and us rushing here. Only last time she was pregnant and lost the baby and this time I was scared we were going to lose her."

"You think she'd go out that easy?" I asked her. I smiled. "Rose Hathaway doesn't let something as insignificant as a car wreck take her down that easy."

"Very true!" she smiled back at me.

All of a sudden Mama and Dr. Olendsky came in the room.

"I went ahead and asked Olena to come in here so I could tell you all at once," she said sadly as mama came to stand on my other side. I immediately got a bad feeling. "There are some signs of some minor swelling. Nothing too dangerous or concerning, probably just aftermaths of hitting her head. She does have a significant concussion and there is some swelling to be expected with that. We're going to go ahead and keep her sedated, if it goes down within the next 24 hours, we'll decrease the sedation so she can wake up. As of right now, it looks like the swelling has already started to somewhat decrease so I'm hopeful it will go down completely. I have contacted the neurologist on call and he's coming in to take a look but I'm confident he will agree."

"Thank you Dr. Olendsky. We appreciate everything," Mama said softly.

"Anytime, after all Rose is my favorite patient," she smiled softly. We all laughed lightly at the joke. Dr. Olendsky has been the head Doctor in the ER since we were little and Roza has been a frequent flyer in her exam rooms, every time Roza would tell her she had to get hurt to see Dr. O since she knew she was her favorite patient. "I'm not really supposed to say this but I really think she's going to pull through just fine. She's going to have a tough time with her leg but I think that will be the worst of it once the swelling goes down."

"Thank you, we appreciate it," I told her.

She smiled sadly and left the room.

 **The next night:**

Mama left a few hours ago saying she'd be back in the morning and had taken Vika with her. Mason and Liss had left a little bit before that. I found myself drifting but refused to leave Roza's side, even if it was just to lay in the lounger that pulled out into a somewhat bed. I'd slept on it last night knowing she'd been sedated and wouldn't wake up but tonight they'd taken her off the sedation and she should wake up anytime. Instead I held her hand and laid my head on the bed beside her. She had started to tense up a few hours ago, her face scrunching like she was in pain so I sang to her until she relaxed again. Mama had tried to get me to go to the hotel I rented for her, Vika, Lissa, and Mason so they didn't have to drive an hour away just to come back in the morning. I told her I was not going to leave Roza's side. Technically with her being in the ICU I was supposed to leave when visiting hours were over but I talked Dr. Olendsky into letting me stay. I told her it would be easier for her if I were here when she woke up so she didn't panic, not that I was convinced she would but after the last time she was in a wreck, I figure this might bring back some flashbacks. After talking to mama, I found out that during that hospital stay, Roza had several panic attacks and had to be sedated once. Luckily, I was able to convince her so she told the nurses to let me stay.

Though there were a few times she did twitch her face like she was in pain, she didn't wake up at all. When Dr. Olendsky came to check on her that morning I asked her about it.

"It is normal. She was under sedation and has a head wound. She did crack her skull but it was just a hairline fracture. Headwounds can be tricky. She could wakeup in 5 minutes or 5 days though I see that one being unlikely. It depends on her. You said she did have a few facial expression changes, that's good. It means she's closer to coming out of it. Just let her take her time. She'll come around," she said reassuringly. She checked a few more things then left saying she'd be back by later.

The day dragged on and on. Lissa came to visit first since she had to get back to AJ. I told her Rose would understand and I'll call her when she wakes up. Then, Mason, mama, and Vika took turns coming in. They brought me breakfast but I just drank the coffee not feeling like eating. Finally, around 3:30 mama convinced me to go to the cafeteria with Vika and eat something. I grabbed a sandwich and ate half of it. Before throwing the rest out. As the day progressed I found it harder and harder to act like everything was fine in front of Vika. They did move her to a regular room but she still hadn't woken up. About 7:45 when mama came in for the last time tonight was when I really started freaking out.

"Why isn't she waking up?" I asked her

"She has a head injury. Give her time. Plus, with the anesthesia it might take a while," she said coming over and wrapping me in a hug in my chair. "I'm glad you're here. She'll like that when she wakes up."

"Where else would I be? What if she doesn't wake up?" I asked worriedly. She started running her fingers through my hair like she did when I was a little boy. It worked. I was calming down just like I always did back then.

"She will. Just talk to her let her know you're here. Tell her she's going to be fine and we all love her and can't wait for her to wake up. She should wake up soon," she said confidently.

She stayed for a while longer before she left. Vika had already left to go to the hotel. After she left I moved over closer to the edge of the bed grabbing her hand again. I kissed the back of her palm before trying what mama had told me.

"Hey Roza," I said choking a little trying not to cry. "Mama says I should talk to you, that you can hear me. I don't know if that's true but it's worth a shot. I need you to wake up. I'm kind of freaking out here with worry. They say it's normal for it to take this long for you to but until you wake up, I don't think I'm going to stop worrying. I've decided I'm the world's biggest ass. I'm sure that will make you happy. I've made so many mistakes when it comes to you. I should have never left. I should have seen there was something wrong. Even the day I left, I could tell there was something off but I just shrugged it off thinking it was because I was leaving. I should have asked. I shouldn't have broken up with you that day. There's so many should haves and what if's. I know they're not helpful now. I never stopped loving you. Ever. I know it seems like I did. especially because I was with Tasha for so long but that was probably the second biggest mistake I've ever made. I let her manipulate me for way too long. But you? That's the only thing I've ever seemed to get right. The day I kissed you on that football field is still the best day of my life. I've won awards and done things I've always dreamed of but when I think of my favorite memory, it's that one. All of my favorite memories include you, that's why I need you to wake up. That way I can tell you all of this and know you're hearing me. Then I can apologize and tell you that I still love you and need you in my life. Tell you how I'll spend the rest of my life making up for all the mistakes I've made."

I laid my head on the bed beside her still holding her hand. Before I knew it, I found myself falling asleep.

"Comrade," I heard faintly. I felt warmth flood my body at hearing that nickname. Then I felt something messing with my hair and heard it again. I jerked my head up realizing what that meant. I looked up to see Roza looking down at me.

 **RPOV:**

Slowly I started to wake up. I heard a beeping sound from somewhere. I remembered I was in the hospital. Did I hear Dimitri earlier? I thought I had but I must have been imagining it. He was still in LA. At first all I felt was pain. My head was pounding and the rest of my body ached. I tried to make a mental inventory of where I hurt, so far it felt like something was wrong with my left arm and right leg. My stomach felt sore but I'm not sure how or why. That's when I realized someone was holding my hand. I opened my eyes slowly. The room was mostly dark with a few lights behind my head lighting up the area, I could tell it was nighttime just not sure how late. I turned my head to find Dimitri with his head laying on the mattress, his hand holding mine. I smiled softly glad to see he was here. I laid there for a few minutes watching him sleep. He looked exhausted and I knew sleeping like that was uncomfortable.

"Comrade," I whispered softly. He stirred but didn't wake up. I softly squeezed his hand and whispered his nickname again this time a little louder. His eyes snapped open as he popped his head up looking worried. I smiled at his overreaction. "Morning."

"You're awake," he said looking amazed. "How do you feel?"

"Thirsty," I admitted. He reached over and grabbed a cup with a spoon in it.

"You can't have full liquids just yet. They said you were going to wake up thirsty so just ice chips then if you keep it down you can get water later," he said quietly. He spooned a few ice chips and held it up for me. I groaned but opened my mouth for them feeling like a child.

"I want water," I said feeling frustrated.

"I know Roza," he placated. He pressed the call nurse button.

"Can I help you?" a voice came from a speaker in the wall.

"Can you tell her nurse that she's awake?" he said.

"Ok she'll be there shortly."

He turned back to me and held up the cup. I took another spoonful then shook my head no for more. They were just a tease anyway. He set the cup back down as the nurse entered the room.

"Hi Rose, I'm Sierra and I'm your night nurse. Glad to see you're awake. You gave us quite a scare," she said cheerfully but not too loud. Dimitri gave a humph in agreement. "How do you feel?"

"Like I was hit by a car," I half joked. Dimitri groaned and the Sierra smiled. "How do you feel pain wise?"

"My head is throbbing and I ache. I'm still trying to figure out where I hurt specifically. So far, I've figured out my left arm, right leg and stomach and chest." I told her laying my head back and looking down. It didn't help because my body was covered with a blanket and I really didn't have the energy move it. Plus, Dimitri still held on to my right hand so I wasn't moving it and my left arm hurt too bad to move.

"Well that makes sense. You severely dislocated your left shoulder, they were able to pop it back in but there's significant inflammation and swelling so it's going to be sore for a while. You broke your femur where it connects to the knee joint. They had to do surgery to put some pins in it. When you crashed, your knee was slammed into the console which is how you broke it and the airbag didn't deploy causing you to be thrown forward. Luckily your seatbelt did catch you but you still hit your head on the steering wheel and bruised your chest, ribs and stomach. There's no damage to your torso just some bruising but that will hurt for a while. That brings me to your head. You have a severe concussion and a hairline fracture on your skull. You did have mild swelling in your brain so we sedated you for a while until the swelling went down. You are going to have a lot of pain and we are going to monitor it to make sure it doesn't start swelling anymore. Your main doctor has gone home for the night so I'm going to page the on-call doctor to let her know you are awake and get you some pain medicine."

"Thank you. Can I have something to drink yet?" I half croaked as my throat was getting dry again.

"Since you seem to be fine with the ice chips I'll let you have a few sips of water but no more than that," she said looking at Dimitri. He nodded at her then she left the room. He stood and poured some water from a pitcher into the cup with the ice chips and put a straw in it. He held it up to my lips and I took a few sips then he pulled it away. He sat back down in the chair beside the bed and grabbed my hand again.

"You're here," I said surprised.

"Nowhere else I would be right now," he said sadly. He picked my hand up and kissed my knuckles softly.

"I didn't know if you'd come back," I admitted.

"That was never a question. I was just trying to give you the space you needed. As soon as I saw your performance I got on the first flight home. When I landed, I got the call about the accident. I've never been so scared in my life. Don't ever do that to me again" he said softly. I saw the fear and the worry in his eyes.

"How do you not hate me?" I asked.

"I could never hate you. At first I thought I did. I was hurt you left. I understood why but I still hoped I could change your mind before you did. Then I decided to wait for you to work things out. I knew you'd come around."

"How were you so sure?" I asked surprised. When I left I thought it was for good and had no plans to come back to him.

"Because, you and me, we're it for each other. There is no me without you. Somehow, I managed to survive five years without you but that's all it was, just surviving. I can't truly live if you're not there by my side. I know you feel it too."

"Yea but-"

"But nothing," he cut me off. Unfortunately, the nurse decided to walk back in at that moment so he didn't get to finish.

"I just spoke with the doctor, she's in surgery so she can't come check on you herself but she said she'll come in the morning to make sure everything is ok. Here's some pain meds, they'll make you sleepy. They might make you a little irritable when you wake up but that's normal," she said injecting something into my IV. I hadn't even noticed I had one until then. She started to head out but turned towards me before leaving. "Get some rest, you're on a monitor that we can see at the nurses station so we won't need to really come disturb you tonight."

"Thanks," I said as she walked out. I pointed to the cup silently asking Dimitri to hand it to me. Instead he took it and brought it up to my mouth for me to get a drink then he set it back down.

"Finish," I prompted.

"We can talk about all of this later. You need rest Roza. Get some sleep," he said sitting back in the chair. I shook my head.

"Come lay up here with me," I said softly.

"I'll be fine in the chair," he said.

"Comrade, you're exhausted I can see it in your eyes. You need sleep and the chair is uncomfortable. Please come lay with me," I said trying to move the covers and turn. It hurt and I winced but kept going. He put his hand over mine to halt me.

"See, no," he said firmly.

"I sleep better with you. You keep my nightmares away. Please comrade I need you," I plead softly. I saw the second he relented as his shoulders sagged in defeat.

"Fine but quit moving, you're going to hurt yourself," he said slipping his shoes off. He slid his arm under my shoulder and helped move me onto my side. He grabbed some extra pillows from behind my head and put them behind his back against the bed rail so he was at an angle and I wasn't completely on my side. I curled into his side being careful of my injuries. Despite the pain and discomfort, I immediately relaxed into him.

"I'm glad you're here," I mumbled.

"I'll always be here for you," he said softly but stern.

"Did you like my song?" I asked getting tired.

"It was beautiful. Get some sleep Roza. We can talk about it all later," he half whispered before leaning his head down and kissing mine very softly. I nuzzled in closer, holding him as tight as I could, scared if I let go he would disappear.

"I love it when you do that."

"I know," he replied and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Last time, I dreamed that you were holding me like this. Don't disappear," I rambled half asleep. I felt his arms pull me against him a little tighter. "Love you."

"Ya lyublyu tebya," was the last thing I heard as I drifted off to sleep.

I awoke a few hours later by myself. I looked around and couldn't find any signs of Dimitri. I was on the verge of panicking, wondering if I'd dreamed it all and he really hadn't come when Vika entered the room.

"Hey!" she said happily. "Dimitri said you were still sleeping, I didn't expect you to be awake."

"So, he's really here?" I asked making sure I'd heard her right."

"Yea, he said you woke up last night and you talked…" she said confused. "Do you not remember it?"

"No, I do. It's just when I woke up and he was gone I thought I'd imagined it."

"Nope, he's been here since the day of the accident and hasn't left since," she smiled softly. "He's in the waiting room making a few calls. I think Adrian is wanting to come but doesn't want to overwhelm you so he and Dimitri are discussing it. I think he's going to go pick up Mia and fly out."

"Of course, he can come," I said before completely registering what she said. "What you said since the accident…how long has it been?"

"Almost four days. Last night was the third night so tonight will make it a full four days," she said mentally calculating it. "Lissa and Mason have been coming to visit but with Aj, she can't stay for too long. Dimitri got Mama and I a hotel next door so we could come spend the days here and not have to drive back and forth."

"You didn't have to do that," I told her softly. I tried to sit up and failed. "Can you hand me that cup?"

"Lay back down," Dimitri said from the doorway. I rolled my eyes but warmed at seeing him standing there.

"I'm thirsty, I can sit up and get a drink," I said sternly as I attempted to sit up again and winced in pain.

"That's why I said to lay down," he said coming over. The bed was already raised at the head where I was laying at a recline but he came over and sat it up further. Now I didn't need to try and sit up on my own. He handed me the cup thankfully instead of trying to make me drink from it like a child again.

"So bossy," I muttered as I took a drink. This time he rolled his eyes and smiled at me.

"I think it's cute," Vika laughed.

"Cute my ass," I muttered not wanting to let her know I agreed. Olena walked in right as I was handing him the cup back.

"Krasivaya devushka (beautiful girl), It's nice to see you awake again," she smiled at me warmly. Instantly at the sight of her tears pricked my eyes, though I wasn't sure why. She came over and hugged me tight. I squeezed her as much as I could with my injured shoulder as tears fell.

"I don't know why I'm crying," I laughed softly. She pulled away and put her hands on my cheeks.

"Because you were just in another car wreck, you have a head injury and you've been on anesthesia and pain medicines. All that combined will make you pretty emotional for a while," she said softly but with a smirk.

"I don't like it," I said stubbornly as I wiped my cheeks.

"I know, unfortunately with as bad of a head injury as you got, it might last a while," she said sympathetically.

"Of course, it will," I said rolling my eyes. Unfortunately, that made my head hurt worse and I winced.

"I'm going to go get the nurse," Dimitri said. He walked out of the room and I immediately felt his loss but then felt silly for thinking that.

"Besides the crying, how are you?" Olena asked. Vika walked over to the other side of the bed and sat on the edge.

"Ummm, I'm not sure yet. I'm really sore. I can't really remember what happened. I vaguely remember a car wreck but not really. I just know that I was in one. I don't remember the plane ride here or getting in the car to begin with. I don't really remember much from after the performance until waking up last night," I said confused.

"That's normal," Dr. Olendsky said coming into the room followed by a man I've never met. "This is Dr. Peters he's your neurologist."

"Didn't know I had a neurologist," I said petulantly. I reached out and shook his hand as he reached for mine.

"Well I'm good but I can't be all of your doctors," Dr. Olendsky teased.

"Can you all give us a moment to talk to Rose privately. There's a few tests I need to run and I think it's best if she gets a few minutes alone," Dr. Peters said. Olena squeezed my hand and then headed for the door, Vika gave me a small hug then followed Olena, Dimitri came over and kissed me softly on the forehead before turning to leave.

"Hey comrade," I stopped him suddenly feeling embarrassed. "Can you like shut the door but stay in the hallway where I can see you?"

"Of course," he said smiling understandingly at me. I felt stupid for asking him that but after waking up this morning to find him gone, my panic increased every time I thought of him leaving. I felt pathetic but couldn't help it. He shut the door then sat on a chair right in front of the window facing away to still give me privacy.

"Thank you," I told Dr. peters not really wanting to admit how overwhelmed I felt right now.

"I understand," he said softly. He came over and shined his light in my eyes making me wince in pain, then he asked me to follow his finger with my eyes. When he was done he nodded.

"Everything seems to be right where it should be. You can probably go home in a couple of days as long as you promise to take it easy at home. How do you feel? I know you were talking about some memory loss when I came in, anything else?"

"I feel very confused emotionally," I admitted. "Like over reacting on some things and getting upset over nothing, like snapping when you came in. I cried for no reason when Olena came in. I was getting really overwhelmed with them all being in here when usually I don't at all."

"That's all normal. With a head injury, especially where yours was, you're going to have some problems with your emotions and memory. It can last a few weeks or even a few months. Increased mood swings and irritability are the pretty common. You're going to have headaches and nausea for at least the next week but possibly longer. You're also going to be more tired than usual, it's just your body's way of healing. You might be sensitive to lights and sounds for a while which is why we have the blinds drawn," he explained. That's when I noticed he was right, all of the blinds were drawn, only the ones at the farthest end were cracked to allow sunlight through.

"Do you want me to go explain all of this to Dimitri for you? Olena already knows what to expect but I know he won't," Dr. Olendsky asked.

"Yes, but not yet, I still have other questions," I said. "What about my leg and shoulder?"

"Do you have any more questions about your head injury?" Dr. Peters asked. I went to shake my head but realized that would probably make it hurt worse.

"No, not right now," I said honestly.

"Ok well then I'm going to go ahead and head out, leave you two to talk but if you have anymore questions, most likely Dr. O here can answer them or you can have the nurses page me. we will have to do daily CT scans until we release you to make sure it doesn't start swelling again but as long as nothing pops up, I'd say you can be released in about 2 days or so," he smiled. He reached down and took my hand again, "I'll be back to check on you later before I leave for the day, page me if you need anything before then."

"Thank you," I told him as he let go of my hand and made his way out the door. I turned back to Dr. O. "He's nice."

"Yea, he's one of the nicest guys I know," she smiled warmly. Then she turned serious again.

"We had to do surgery on your leg, I'm going to call in an orthopedic specialist for a consult but, you had a pretty bad break. It's going to take a while to heal. There might be a chance you'll leave here in a wheelchair but I'm hoping we might be able to make it in crutches as long as you promise not to put any weight on it. While you're here, unless you are with a physical therapist or the ortho you will be in a wheelchair until we tell you differently," she said sternly.

"Of course, I will be!" I said frustrated.

"The good news is that your shoulder will be fine. It's just inflamed right now. Once the swelling goes down the pain should go away. We do have you on some low dose anti-inflammatories that should help. We don't want to put you on a higher dose because it will delay the healing process. I know this is all incredibly frustrating and emotionally exhausting but you're going to get through it," she said coming over by my bed. "It will be ok."

"Thank you," I said smiling warmly at her.

"Think about it this way, there is a reason for your emotional reactions, all of them. You cried when you saw Olena because she'd the only mother figure you've really had and what do children do when they're hurt and they see their mom? They cry. Whether it's rational or not that's just a natural reaction. You're freaking out around Dimitri because you're scared he's going to disappear like last time. You just don't have a filter on your emotions right now like you usually do and you're feeling everything more intensely. It's going to be frustrating and hard but, you're going to be ok and you're going to get through this."

"What if I get too crazy and he leaves again?"

"That boy isn't going anywhere. You should have seen him while you were unconscious. He left your bedside once and even managed to convince me to let him stay with you in ICU overnight even though that breaks all the rules because he was scared to leave your side."

"Really?" I asked with a small smile.

"Yep," she said with a smile. "I'm going to go have a nurse bring in some more pain meds, they're going to put you to sleep again but it's ok you need rest, then I'm going to go talk to Dimitri and send him back in here."

"Sounds good," I said leaning my head back against the bed realizing just how tired I was. She softly walked out of the room. I saw Dimitri stand up and her and him talking. I must have dozed because next thing I knew, I felt something brushing my forehead. I opened my eyes to find Dimitri standing there.

"So, she told you I'm going crazy and you still came back," I muttered with a grin.

"You've always been crazy," he smirked down at me.

"Ass," I smiled. "The nurse is going to bring me pain meds but can Olena and Vika come back before she does?" I asked waking up a little more.

"Yea, let me call them," he said somehow sensing I didn't want him to leave. That or Dr. O had told him that I freaked out at the thought of him leaving. Either way, he stayed. Soon enough Olena and Vika were back in the room. Dimitri stepped back to let them by the bed.

"They're about to give me more pain meds that are going to put me to sleep. I wanted to talk to you first though. I appreciate you being here and staying here the last few days but, go home. There's no reason to stay here if I'm just going to be sleeping the whole time. I know Sonya and Karo need you and you have lives outside of this hospital. You see I'm fine now, you can come back and visit but you don't have to wait around like you expect me to die," I joked.

"That was a horrible joke," Vika said with a small smile.

"Sorry, my sense of humor is still healing," I teased.

"Ah, but your sarcasm is perfect," Dimitri piped up from behind them.

"Well, I don't think that one will ever go away," I smirked. "But I am serious. You can go home. I'll be fine. I know you're also worried about Dimitri but I will make sure he eats and sleeps too. If he doesn't you'll be my first call," I told Olena with a smile.

"Ok, but we'll be back to visit tomorrow," Olena relented. About then the nurse came in, this one was a different one.

"This is your pain medicine, it's going to make you sleepy. It should start taking effect in about ten minutes or so," she said injecting the meds again before walking back out.

"Ok well we'll get out of here and let you sleep. Call if you need anything," Olena said she leaned down and kissed me softly on the forehead before moving over so Vika could hug me.

"I told you he still loved you," she whispered softly in my ear.

"Shut up," I laughed. She pulled away with a smile. "Bye love y'all."

"Love you too!" Vika said as they walked out. Dimitri came back over by my bed.

"You don't have to sleep but can you lay by me again?" I asked hesitantly. "Please?"

"Yea, I can do that," he said scooting me over again like last night. I laid my head on his chest and felt my whole body relax. "Adrian and Mia are flying out this afternoon to come see you. I texted him and told him to wait until tomorrow before coming to let you get settled a little more. I think Mason and Lissa are coming by later, I can tell them not to if you want me to?"

"No that's fine. I miss them," I said softly. "Can you try to be here when I wake up? I know it's asking a lot…"

"I'll be here, I promise," he said kissing my head softly. I snuggled into him more as I felt the drowsiness kick in.

"When I woke up and you were gone I got scared. I thought I'd dreamed it all and that you weren't coming back," I admitted honestly more drugged up than I realized. He softly squeezed my hand in reassurance.

"I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere this time," was the last thing I heard as I drifted off.

The next day and a half continued like that, I'd wake up for short periods of time only to be pulled under fairly quickly. They started weaning me off the pain meds so I could go home. It made me even more irritable than I originally was and way more irritable than I normally am but I tried to contain it as much as possible. Dimitri had been amazing the whole time. Every time I woke up he was always there, even when I told him to leave. Olena brought him some clothes so he was able to change and take a shower, a luxury I wasn't allowed yet. That definitely pissed me off and ended in a crying fit that I was extremely embarrassed about afterwards. Adrian, Lissa, Mia, and Mason had all come by to visit. Adrian and Mia were staying at the Belikovs for now. The plan so far was for me to be released tomorrow morning as long as I promised to bear no weight in my leg and rest as much as possible. Dimitri and Olena were both the first ones to say they would make certain I did. Right now, there was a break in visitors and for the first time since the accident I actually felt awake and alert. Since they'd started weaning off the pain meds more, I was staying awake for longer periods of time and my head was clearing up more. Unfortunately, I knew that sooner or later I'd have to actually sit down and talk with Dimitri about everything. Based on the way he was currently looking, I was wondering if it was going to happen now.

"Whatcha thinking so hard about over there?" I asked him. He was sitting in the chair by the bed and looked deep in thought.

"Oh, nothing," he said startled like he hadn't realized I was even awake.

"That nothing seems pretty serious," I told him honestly.

"Well I have a question for you," he said sitting up straighter and leaning forward to grab my hand. "Will you move in with me? I know we still have a lot of work ahead of us and I don't expect all of our problems to be solved immediately but I'd like for you to stay with me, at least while you're healing so I can help take care of you and we can get to know each other all over again."

"I thought we were going to stay at your old house?" I asked confused.

"Well I kind of have a surprise for you," he smirked. "If your answer is no, I understand. If you want you can stay at mama's and I won't so that I can give you your space but, I really hope you say yes."

"Comrade," I said hesitantly not knowing what my answer should be. I knew in my head that it was jumping the gun and I should say no and work on rebuilding from the ground up. In my heart, the idea of letting him go again scared me. Right now, I could barely let him out of my sight without panicking and even though I knew it was because of my crazy emotions from the concussion, there was some truth to it. We'd been apart for so long I didn't want to waste any more of it. "Yes. On a temporary basis. While we're here in Georgia and I'm healing. We'll decide where to go after that."

"Ok," he said smiling brightly. He grabbed my hand and kissed it.

"You haven't kissed me yet," I told him grumpily. He'd kissed my head, my hands but, never on the lips.

"I know," he grinned at me. He stood up and moved over towards the bed, he cupped my cheek with his hand then leaned down like he was going to kiss me. I closed my eyes and waited. I felt him come nearer then at the last second, he turned his head and kissed my cheek.

"Tease!" I said pulling away but still grinning. He laughed softly.

"I'm not letting our last first kiss happen in a hospital, I have more game than that," he smiled. I laughed at that.

"It's not our first kiss!" I argued.

"It will be our first back together kiss. Plus, once I kiss you, I'm not going to want to stop and I think Dr. O will frown upon her favorite patient making out instead of resting," he smirked. I rolled my eyes.

"When did you become such a sap?" I teased though I secretly loved it.

"Since you decided to give me a second chance and I decided I want to spend the rest of my life proving that I'm worth it," he said honestly. I really wanted to kiss him after that but he was too far away. Instead I took a page from his book and grabbed his hand kissing his knuckles. He twisted his hand around so our fingers were entwined. Looking at our fingers brought up a subject I'd been avoiding but needed the answer to.

"I know this is kind of a mood killer and my least favorite topic but I've been really curious about it and it's going to come up sooner or later," I rambled.

"Roza, just ask," he said with a sigh. We both knew we couldn't avoid the hard topics forever but neither of us were willing to bring them up right now.

"Why did you propose to Tasha after we kissed?" I asked looking down not wanting him to see the hurt that I knew would be in my eyes.

"I didn't," he said rubbing circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. "When she first came to town, we were barely talking. Our relationship had been strained for a while and you coming back didn't help much, not that I'm upset by that. I knew the only reason she even came to Georgia was because you were there. She'd never shown an interest in wanting to meet my family or ever really asked about them. I tried to pretend though and make the best of it. You and I had just talked on the plane about trying to find a line between coworkers and fighting because we're both too stubborn to quit prying so I figured her being there could help anyways. I told her you were staying there, she seemed fine with it, actually she seemed overly enthused about it saying how nice it was for mama to take you in and stuff which I found weird but went with. Then we went out and she kept making digs at you all night, even though I never heard them, I could tell they were being said. Then when you all ganged up with the jukebox incident, it confirmed it-"

"I didn't play any of those songs!" I interrupted, "Though they were hilarious as hell and I loved every minute of it."

"I saw Vika and Adrian go over to the Jukebox so I assumed it was them. In the car I confronted her about it and she refused until finally Christian told her to just own up to it, I don't think he was too happy with her about it either. Once he got out, she broke down talking about how it was because she was jealous and scared and that she was sorry and wouldn't do it again. I told her she better stop or else we were done, I wasn't going to tolerate her being petty. The next night passed without a hitch so I thought things were better she seemed to be fairing better and even though I knew a rodeo was way out of her element, she was trying and I appreciated it. Then when we were up in the tree and we kissed I was stunned. I realized then that I don't think I could ever just be your friend. I sat up there for a while longer thinking about it, I had decided to just go tell Tasha the truth but when I got back I found her with the ring in her hands. She assumed I'd gotten it for her, and I saw all the hope in her eyes and when I went to tell her the truth it wouldn't come out. I know all you've seen is this really nasty side of her but before then, she was a really good person. It wasn't until she started getting more famous and up until the last year, that she really started changing. In that moment when she was so filled with hope, all I saw was the girl I'd met not the one she'd become and I couldn't crush her like that. She had already told me how insecure you made her feel and if I told her that ring was for you, it would devastate her. Instead I asked her not to wear it because I wasn't ready to tell everyone yet figuring it would give me time to figure out what to do. Instead she showed up and had snuck it with her and bragged to everyone about it. I immediately knew what a mistake it was to have not told her the truth from the beginning when I saw your face but it was too late. The next day I ended things and took her to the airport."

"Ok," I nodded taking it all in. I didn't know the side of Tasha that Dimitri was talking about so I guess I couldn't blame him for not wanting to hurt her. He had to have cared about her at some point to have been in a relationship with her. At the same time, I believe she knew that ring was never meant for her and planned it on purpose. I knew exactly where that ring had been hidden and she had to have done some major snooping to find it. I wanted to call him out and ask how he couldn't have seen through her plot from the beginning but when he was telling me the story I could see the honesty in his eyes. He believed her. How could I be mad that he didn't want to hurt somebody he cared about? Even if she was a lying manipulative bitch.

"Ok?" he asked confused. I knew he expected more of a reaction.

"Ok," I nodded. "As long as you promise me one thing."

"What?" he asked hesitantly.

"Don't ever give MY ring to another Bitch again," I smiled sweetly. He laughed.

"Well first of all it's not your ring," he smirked.

"Technicality," I shrugged.

"Secondly, I can't promise that because I plan to give it to you one day," he teased. While my heart warmed at the idea my jaw dropped.

"Dimitri Belikov, did you just call me a bitch?" I asked. The door opened right as I'd started talking but then shut as soon as they heard my question. He laughed. I still had my lunch tray beside my bed so I grabbed the uneaten roll off of it and threw it at him. Guess there was a plus side to me not having my appetite back yet.

"I was just kidding," he smirked grabbing the roll off the ground and throwing it away. "I love you."

"Ok asshole, go find whoever that was and tell them it's safe to come in at least for them," I demanded pointing to the hallway. Once he was gone, I laid back in the bed not wanting to admit how much that conversation and playful moment had exhausted me. Luckily when he came back, it was just Lissa.

"Everything safe in here?" she asked poking her head in with a grin on her face.

"For you, definitely. For him it's questionable," I grinned at her.

The next day I was finally discharged. I had to make follow up visits with both Dr. Peters and my Orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Gibbs for two weeks out. I also had to promise to practically be on bed rest until the dizziness went away but I managed to convince them to give me the crutches instead of a wheel chair. I had told everyone not to come up since I was leaving so it was just Dimitri and I when we wheeled out. I hadn't realized how much stuff I'd gotten until Dimitri loaded it all up in the car. Unfortunately, he hadn't been able to drive his truck back down so all he had was a motorcycle so for now he was renting a car since he didn't want to leave anyone with out their car.

"Can we make a pit stop before we get to whatever surprise you have? There's somewhere I'd like to show you," I told him squeezing his hand that was holding mine over the console between the seats.

"Sure."

I told him the directions and knew the moment it clicked where we were going. He tensed up.

"Is this ok? I thought you might want to see his gravesite," I told him gesturing to the cemetery in front of us. "If you're not ready, I understand."

"No, it's a good idea," he said driving through the gates but squeezing my hand a little tighter. I gave him directions on which part of the cemetery to go to. When we stopped, he got out and came over to help me out. I grabbed the crutches and tried to stand. I was a little wobbly so Dimitri moved like he was going to pick me up but I shook my head not to. I regained my balance like I'd practiced in the hospital and started forward. As I got the hang of it, I started going faster but once we got close I slowed down. When we got to it I stopped.

"Sometimes I like to come out here and just talk to him. I don't know if I even believe in heaven but I'd like to think if there is one, then he's up there and can hear me," I told Dimitri. He stepped forward and crouched down in front of the headstone running his finger over it. It was a simple square headstone with a swallow flying towards the sky, it said:

 _Connor Alexander Belikov_

 _Смерть не принимает старую, а зрелую_

 _Forever in our hearts_

"You put Russian on here?" he asked confused.

"I wanted a part of his dad on here. Olena said it to me and I liked it, it means-"

"Death does not take the old but, the ripe," he said softly tracing it. It was some old Russian proverb that Olena had told me in the hospital. When it came time to pick out a headstone I told her I wanted to add it on there so she helped me with it.

"It was once a myth that when a sailor died, a swallow came and carried their souls to heaven. Plus, they stand for love and freedom," I explained the flying bird on it.

"Thank you," he said softly his voice breaking. Tears burned my eyes but I was trying not to let them fall. "Hi Connor. Your moms told me a lot about you. I'm sorry I never got to meet you."

Now the tears did fall. I crutched my way over behind Dimitri and put my hand on his shoulder in support. He reached up and put his over mine but kept talking.

"I bet you would have been a firecracker like your mom was. You'd be starting kindergarten next year and if you were anything like her, we would have had to have lots of bribery presents for your teachers so they wouldn't kick out of class. Your mom actually got in trouble for throwing a book at her teacher in kindergarten. Now you're probably causing all sorts of mischief in heaven…You might have met my friend Ivan up there, he's a good guy and will help look out for you. I'm sure he'll help you if you want to pull some pranks, he was the best prankster. Just don't believe any stories he might tell you about me…I wish I could have saved you, I'm so sorry I couldn't."

He stood up, tears slowly falling down his face. He quickly wiped them away. I stepped forward. I wanted to bend down like Dimitri had but the cast and crutches prevented that.

"Hey baby boy, I miss you. Everyday. As you can see daddy finally made it home. I told you he would. I told you he would love you just as much as I do," I said as Dimitri grabbed my hand. "I wanted to bring him here today to meet you. I'll never forget you and I'll be back soon. I love you forever and ever."

I stepped back and looked at Dimitri. His tears had stopped and there was a small smile on his face.

"Thank you," he whispered not wanting to break the silence. I nodded with a small smile. We turned and made our way back to the car. I knew there would always be a part of my heart left here but, for the first time, I didn't feel like I'd left my whole heart in the grave with my baby boy. I knew that I wasn't completely healed and I never would be. At the same time, grief doesn't always have to be agony. For the first time I realized moving forward didn't mean forgetting. I would always carry my baby in my heart and in my mind but, it's also ok to be happy again.

"Where are we going?" I asked as Dimitri pulled out onto the road that leads out of town.

"I told you it was a surprise," he smirked at me. He pulled off onto a road that looked like if you blinked too fast you would miss it. We drove down it for a few minutes not seeing anything but trees on each side of us until all of a sudden it opened up into a huge clearing and I gasped. In front of us was a beautiful two-story cabin that had a mix of stone and wood built into it. It had a giant wrap around porch and behind it was the lake. Dimitri got out and helped me out as I took it all in.

"Do you like it?" he asked nervously.

"I love it but…when…how?" I asked.

"I had already planned to find a place here in Georgia before I ever even left so that when I came back home I had a place. After you left, this place popped up and I knew I had to grab it. I hoped you would eventually come around and knew this was the perfect place for us to call home. This way I get my cabin in the woods but you get your water front property," he said referencing a conversation we'd had a long time ago. "Plus, it's not that far from town so you can go into town everyday if you want. The best part is, if you go to the beach and walk about a mile to the right, that's where we would always go when we came to the lake."

"It's amazing!" I said as the tears started again, then I got pissed I was crying. This concussion had me all messed up emotionally. He wiped my tears with a small smile on his face.

"Shut up, it's because I have a head injury," I smirked annoyed.

"Of course," he smiled. He leaned me against the car and grabbed the crutches from me. he scooped me up in his arms being careful not to jostle me too much since my torso and arm still hurt. He tried to grab the crutches but it wasn't working.

"Here let me," I laughed as I reached for them.

"Screw it, I'll come back and get them," he said frustrated. He lead me up the stairs of the porch and to the front door.

"Why are you carrying me when I can walk?" I asked with a laugh.

"The doctor said rest. Plus, it's good practice," I rolled my eyes but warmed at the thought.

"Whatever you say comrade."

"Welcome home Roza," he said with a smile before bending down and kissing me on the lips. And I was home, here in the arms of the man I gave my heart to when we were just kids.


	34. Epilogue

**Guys! IT's 100% finished! Here's the epilogue!**

 **Please read this part:**

 **There** _ **WILL**_ **be a sequel. I'm not sure when I will post it, I need to do some more plot work on it and my goal is to have 5 chapters already written before I post it, so I can try to stay ahead the whole time. (Look at me trying to get my life organized). Hopefully I can get it posted sooner rather than later but I'm not going to post any dates just as a precaution. The sequel will be shorter, right now I'm only thinking 20 chapters or so but who knows for sure. I'm also probably not going to do flashbacks in that one, I'm still undecided so I might change my mind. I'm just not sure what the flash backs would be about if I did them. I will do an authors note on here once it's posted.**

 **Thank you once again to everyone who has read, reviewed, given suggestions, lent me some support when I was down, or anything else you all have done. There's no way I could have finished this story without all of you, even the silent readers, backing me. You all are amazing and the absolute best!**

 **Hopefully we'll meet again on the sequel. If not, you all can message me anytime I love to talk to y'all.**

 **Sinceriously,**

 **Cassandra! :)**

I curled into Dimitri while we were lying on the couch. He was on his back with his right arm behind his head, I was on my side with my head on his chest, arm across his stomach. My leg was still in a cast so I was trying to make sure not to hit him with it. We'd been having a movie marathon but the most recent movie had ended so he turned the TV on mute and we were laying there just enjoying each other. With the accident, the label was giving me some time off. Dimitri had taken a small leave while I was away so we were just enjoying being back together. We figured after five years apart, we deserved couple of weeks alone together. He feels bad about halting the production of the album so long so Adrian and Sydney are flying down here tomorrow and they're going to work in the studio we recorded the first duet in. For now, Dimitri is insisting on recording and working on the duets I'm not on to give me a longer break. He even had Adrian go to his condo and grab his laptop so he can work on the production side here at the cabin with me. The mood swings and headaches have died down and now are only occasionally an issue but, Dimitri has been outstanding through it all.

"I could stay here forever," I murmured into his chest.

"In the cabin or on me?" Dimitri teased.

"The cabin of course," I teased back looking at him resting my chin on his chest.

"I can go," he smirked pretending like he was going to get up. I held him tighter.

"Don't you dare," I warned playfully.

"Yes Ma'am," he said with a small smile. He brought his arm that had been behind his head and wrapped it around me gently placing it on my side. For the most part the bruising had faded but there were a few spots on my ribs that were still tender. Bone bruises suck.

"Hey in the hospital, the night you woke up you said something, can you explain it?" he asked curiously.

"I can try, I was pretty messed up. what'd I say?" I asked.

"You said 'Last time, I dreamed you were here. Don't disappear.'"

"Oh. I was just mumbling at that point. I used to have nightmares where you would be there then disappear."

"But you said last time?"

"Well…" I said hesitantly not wanting to bring all that back up right now. "I was referring to the last time I'd been in the hospital. They had to give me pain meds and I woke up disoriented thinking you were there holding me but when I woke up, you had disappeared. Well you'd never really been there but in my disoriented mind it felt like you had been."

"Oh," he said softly before leaning over so I was on my back and he was hovering over me. "I'm not going anywhere ever again. You don't have to worry about that."

"You don't know that comrade," I said worriedly. "You can change your mind in a year or two. Or five years from now when you realize you want kids and I can't give you them. So please don't go making promises you don't know if you can keep."

"You know me well enough to know I don't say things I don't mean. I'm in this for the long haul. I don't care that you can't have more babies, I mean it sucks yea because I know you wanted more kids too. If the time comes that we want another child, we can go see a specialist and see if there's anything we can do. If not then we can adopt. If you don't like that idea, we can get a ton of dogs and treat them like our kids, diapers and all. I don't care what we do as long as I'm with you."

"What if dogs and me aren't enough?" I asked.

"If that day comes, you might as well put a gun to my head because I've already lost my damn mind," he joked.

"Not funny," I told him.

"But true. I've lived without you and I can promise you, I never want to do it again. Whether it's just me and you for the next 80 years or if we have 100 dogs running around, or whatever else, as long as you don't get a damn cat," he grinned.

"The deal breaker is a cat?" I asked with a laugh.

"Yep. Bring one of those spawns of Satan in this house and I'm gone," he smirked. I laughed as he shuddered.

"Lucky for you, I don't like cats," I smirked at him.

"Then we're good," he smiled.

"We're good?" I asked again. He nodded.

"Roza I'm going to marry you one day and we're going to spend the rest of our lives fighting and bickering like an old couple until we actually are an old bickering couple," he smirked. "I am in this."

"Ok," I said softly. "But no getting married anytime soon."

"Yea I figured that. It will take time but we'll get there," he smiled down at me.

"Comrade? I love you too," I said with a smile. He leaned down and kissed me softly at first then a little harder. When he pulled away I groaned.

"Soon," he chuckled. He had decided we were going to take things slowly. Get to know one another and all of that. I personally was ready but I secretly liked his thoughts on it. He wanted to rebuild our emotional connection before diving back into the physical. It was sweet…but, slowly killing me.

He laid back down on his back pulling me back on top of him. "I'm going to die of frustration!"

"You're going to die of exaggeration," he chuckled.

"I'm glad it's so easy for you," I muttered laying back down on his chest.

"Trust me, it's not. It's hard, very very hard," he smirked at his own innuendo.

"Perv," I teased. He laughed again and started running his fingers through my hair.

"Detective Jones called again today," he stated distracting me. I knew better than to get my hopes up. Whoever had hit me had ran off before anyone could see who it was. The car had been stolen so we couldn't even trace it. The police think it was just a usual hit and run accident but something about it didn't feel right. For now, we just hoped whoever it was, is laying low and won't be back. Until we find them though, Dimitri has insisted I not be alone anytime I go out. Not that I do very often. With this head injury and my leg, I find it's easier to stay home. The Belikovs come visit a lot along with Lissa and Mason. So, it's not too lonely. Occasionally if I start getting too restless, we will go into town or go hang out at the lake.

"What'd she have to say?" I asked.

"Nothing really. Just that they wanted you to know they're still looking but haven't found anything yet," he said irritated.

"That's what I figured," I sighed.

"Are you sure you don't want to take Abe up on his offer?" he asked. Abe had come down the weekend after we moved into the cabin. He said he wanted to check on things and make sure I was really ok. He had offered to get me some body guards from the company his bodyguard Pavel runs. I, of course, declined that offer.

"No. I don't want guards shadowing me. Plus, I'm here most of the time and you've already installed top of the line security. I'm fine."

"I figured but it doesn't hurt to check. I'll feel a lot better when you're out of that cast and can defend yourself," he said. I sat up and looked down at him.

"You think I can't now?" I asked trying to raise an eyebrow and failing so instead I glared.

"I think that you are a very headstrong, perfectly capable, beautiful woman that can do anything she puts her mind to. It just would make it a lot easier to not have a 10 pound cast from your thigh all the way down," he said earnestly. I lessened my glare a fraction. He leaned up and kissed my forehead, "I also think you are amazing, smart, witty, and did I mention beautiful?"

"Very good answer," I told him laying back down. As soon as I did my stomach growled. He laughed.

"Why don't I go you cook dinner?" I sat up as he crawled out from under me and got off the couch.

"Mmmm keep talking like that and I might reconsider the marriage thing," I joked.

"How are you going to survive when I go back to work tomorrow?" he teased turning to face me.

"I'm not, I'm going to starve to death," I sighed falling on my back on the couch covering my face with my arm. Next thing I knew, his hands were on my sides tickling me. It reminded me of when we were kids. I laughed and tried to get away but he had me pretty much cornered on the couch.

"Ok….stop….i'm….done!" I laughed. He stopped and brought a hand up to my cheek.

"I love you and your exaggerating ass," he smiled kissing me softly.

"Somebody's gotta keep you entertained," I grinned as he pulled away. "Now go cook for me."

"Bossy bossy," he laughed. He walked over to the fridge and pulled stuff out. Our kitchen and living were all connected in an open concept that I loved. The kitchen was off to the side of the living room so I was able to lay there and watch him as he cooked. I rolled over and turned on an old episode of Grey's Anatomy but it really didn't hold my attention. Instead I secretly watched him moving around the kitchen. Four months ago, I would never have imagined this would be my life. I never really thought Dimitri and I would ever be back together. We still have a lot of issues to work through but right now we're taking it day by day.

For now, we've been living in our little bubble here in the woods avoiding most of reality. We both know we'll soon have to leave it but for now we're enjoying it. I haven't talked to my mom since that day in the street. She's called me a few times but I haven't picked up. I'm not ready yet. I know one day I'll have to face her again and deal with the whole bastard child situation and eventually confront her about kicking me out. That will come in time.

"I can feel you staring at me," Dimitri said with his back to me facing the stove.

"You're sexy when you cook for me. I can't help but stare," I told him with a smile. He turned back and winked at me flashing a brilliant smile and I could feel my heart beat faster in my chest. This is what I've been missing. There are going to be rough roads ahead but as long as I have him back by my side, I know we'll be alright.


End file.
